Far out in the deep branches of space, an astronaut was exploring while someone was narrating over the scene. "Welcome back, astro-viewers, to the SS Starry Galaxica-home to interpid explorer Captain Estrella Nova! As the most advanced ship in the galaxy, the Galaxica is packed to the brim with all manner of cutting-edge technology. And also this robot." Inside was a robot with metallic blonde hair, silver skin, an astrosuit, and lots of buttons and lights. Her name was Linds-tron. She wasn't very bright, to say the least. Just then, Linds-tron's arm started to rattle. She pressed a button on her. "Yeah, who is it?" A hologram of Estrella appeared on the screen, who was pulling on the door handle. "Linds-tron, it's Captain Estrella Nova. I'm locked out, and I need you to open the ship's door." Estrella commanded. "I'm sorry, Estrella. I'm afraid I can't do that." Linds-tron replied. Naturally, Estrella was confused. "What?! Of course you can! It's an order! I'm the CAPTAIN!" "Ha, I don't think so. The captain always has her keys with her, and her keys are right here. Okay, gotta go." Linds-tron hung up the holophone, and headed to the Galaxica's control panel. "Hmm... Maybe the real captain's lost. I better go find her." She pressed a button, turning the ship on. "Open up, you junky old stylish toaster!" Estrella yelled, before the rocket started. This caused her to scream very loudly. "Uh, nope, no captain here." Linds-tron said before starting the rocket back up. "Not here, either." Linds-tron said before, well, you get the idea by now. "Nope!" Then, it happened again. And again. "Not here. I'm helping!" Linds-tron said during the last try.
It turns out the whole thing was a TV show being watched by none other than Lindsay Siskin. "Aw, she is a good helper." Lindsay said. She then began speaking to a camera that Marie was holding. "Oh, hey there! Today on The Lindsay Show, you'll be watching me watch cartoons!" Lindsay then poured some Rainbow Swirl Bit cereal into a bowl with some milk, and continued watching. "And now, stay tuned for our six-hour marathon of... Bowling for Cash!" The announcer yelled. It then cut to old people bowling. "Bowling? Boring! I want cartoons!" Lindsay complained. She grabbed the remote, but then she accidentally dropped it. In the process, she spilled her bowl of Rainbow Swirl Bits on the couch. During the struggle, the remote fell into the couch cushions and greased it's way down thanks to the milk. Lindsay opened the couch cushion to find the remote, hissing at her before it slithered away. "Woah. The remote seems grumpier than usual. I guess it's gone forever." Lindsay said. Then, she noticed Marie behind the camera. "You could go looking for the remote. You know, find it, bring it back. Fetch it! Fetch it, girl!" Marie said as Lindsay began acting like a dog. "Go on, go get that remote!" Marie said in a funny voice. "Okay, I'll do it!" Lindsay declared. Marie then threw her a bone-shaped tube of lip gloss, and Lindsay caught it.
Later, Lindsay was in a different room filled with peculiar portraits. Instead of her normal attire, she was wearing a black wig, a red turtleneck, a brown V-neck sweater, a purple skirt, and red high heels. Then, she began speaking. "Hi, I'm Lindsay Siskin. And we're gonna be searching for the Remoto Dragon, more commonly known as the TV remote." Lindsay pointed to a picture of the TV remote. "On today's Lookin' Around For..." Later, Marie attached Lindsay to a harness and a pulley with yards of rope. She then took Honey Boo-Boo the poodle, who had a camera on her head. "Okay, Camera One is good to go." She then dropped Honey on Lindsay, who yelped in pain due to Honey's sharp fur and claws. "Happy hunting. And remember, don't come home empty handed. Your entire Lindsay Show audience is watching!" Marie explained to Lindsay. However, the only audience was the creepy Ernest P. Christenheimer, who was watching right outside the window. "Oh, don't mind me. I always enjoy a good failure." Ernest said. Lindsay then jumped on the couch ready. She then began her descent into the Siskin family couch. Marie had to keep a strong hold of the rope to make sure nothing happened.
Lindsay was looking at the inside of the couch. "Fascinating. These natural sofa formations must have been here for thousands of years. Or at least since Mom reupholstered the couch." Lindsay wondered. She fell onto a nearby couch raft, traveling on the sea of milk and Rainbow Swirl Bits. There were thousands of stuff deep within the couch. "Wow. This place is a gold mine!" Just then, she noticed an issue of InSeason magazine nearby. "Oh, I thought I lost this magazine!" She grabbed it from the cushion and began reading. Then, she noticed some change nearby and picked it up. "Cha-ching! Check out all the loose change!" Then, she dropped it when noticing something else. "What? Oh my gosh, my yo-yo!" She grabbed the yo-yo from the cushion, and hugged it. "I missed you most of all, yo-yo." She then started playing with it. Just at that moment though, the raft hit a rock. Then, the milk stream started turning into milk rapids! Eventually, Lindsay and Honey Boo-Boo went over a waterfall, losing the magazine, yo-yo and the raft. Thankfully, they got to couch land. "Must be the end of the river. Maybe we can pick up his trail from here." Lindsay began to walk. After turning a corner, she found a cushion jungle! "Remoto Dragons love to hide deep in cushion jungles just like these!" Then, out of a nearby bush, emerged the remote! It had grown legs, and growled at Lindsay. Then, it began to run away. "Wait, remote! Come back and let me catch you!" Lindsay started chasing after the remote, but then something squished her. She slowly emerged her head out of the being. "Help, I'm being crushed by two of the biggest, heaviest, roundest things I've ever been crushed by! And one of the smelliest, too!" It turned out that object was Harold Norbert Cheever Doris MacGrady V watching TV on his couch. Don't tell anyone about the Doris part.
"Joy! The 168-hour Ninja Dojo Squad marathon is about to begin! Time to get really, really, extra comfortable." Harold said as he continued to squish Lindsay. Honey Boo-Boo managed to squeeze her way out of the cushions. She used her sharp fur to attack Harold, causing him to yowl in pain and jump off his couch. "You did it, Honey Boo-Boo! We're safe!" Lindsay rejoiced. Unfortunately, at that moment, a clawed creature grabbed the two and dragged them away. "I was wrong. Tragedy can strike at any moment!" Linsday said before screaming. Meanwhile, back at the Siskin house, the rope had started to go deeper into the couch. Marie attempted to save it, but the rope was gone. "Oh, crap!" She then started to speak into her headpiece. "Lindsay, I lost the rope. Are you okay? Are you still recording?" Meanwhile, Lindsay and Honey had ended up in a brown loafer. "Still here and still rolling, sis. I think some sock-a-dactyl took me to its house." Lindsay explained. At that moment, she heard a loud screech. The sock-a-dactyl had come back for feeding, and it's babies emerged. "Oh, lunchtime! I hope she has chicken." Lindsay said before she opened her mouth. The mama chewed up the food, and vomited it into Lindsay's mouth. Naturally, Lindsay was disgusted. "Ew! It tastes like argyle and month-old cheese!" Marie cringed along with her. Just then, she realized something. "Wait, a sock-a-dactyl? Lindsay, I don't think you're in the couch anymore! I think you've broken through to a dresser! Don't worry, sis, I promise I'll find you!" Marie vowed. Lindsay wasn't worried however, as this meant she would get to try on all kinds of clothes. "All right, I'll keep looking for the remote." Lindsay lied.
Marie then began searching around the house in order to find Lindsay. She didn't have any success in her room, Lindsay's room, or in Dwayne's room. When she burst in the last one, she found Dwayne washing his toupee collection. "What's going on, sweetie?" He asked. "Lindsay went into the couch after the remote, but now I lost her in a dresser!" She said as she looked. Dwayne laughed. "That's nice, sweetie, you girls have such overactive imaginations." he told her. "What? No! She's gone! Your own daughter!" Marie said, angrily. Dwayne gasped. "Lindsay's in trouble? Then I'm going in after her!" Dwayne said as he put on his normal toupee and jumped into the dresser. The problem was, Marie couldn't get him in the drawer. "This might take a moment. So we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor." She said as she continued pushing.
We then cut to a commercial where a couple is riding on a gondola. A man in his early thirties appeared. "Hi, I'm Don McGurrin, modeling star and host of the Ridonculous Race. Now, I'm the owner of Aurora Falls Gold Tours, and I wanna take you on a magical trip through your own furniture. Imagine eight luxurious days seeing your couch, your love seat, even your credenza like you've never seen them before. Why, you've never truly experienced Grandma's china hutch until you've spent the night there." Two minipeople flashed cameras at Don, which briefly blinded him. "Ow. Well, looks cozy. So, call DON-555-01MCGINNIS to book your trip today. For this is Aurora Falls Gold Tours." Just then, Lindsay appeared out of one of the cabinet drawers, frightening Don and making him faint. "Aw, there's no remote here, either." she complained.
Meanwhile, back in the Siskin living room, Marie had set up a search party in order to find Lindsay. Everyone had ropes and harnesses attached to them. Kelly was dropped in, followed by reporter for Aurora Falls News Network, Dakota Milton. Finally, it was Grammy's turn. "Now remember, if you find Lindsay, give a shout and tug on the rope." Marie explained. "Oh, no. I ain't goin' searching for a boob who can't find her way out of a chair. I have nappin' to do!" Grammy argued. "She's your granddaughter, and besides, it's going to be on TV, which makes it important." Marie stated before pushing Grammy into the couch.
Lindsay was still searching for the remote. "Some Remoto Dragons have adapted to urban living, and can now be found in old junk drawers. Like this one." Just then, she noticed a weird footprint. "Ooh, looks like a dragon print." Then, something stepped on the print. When Lindsay looked up, it turned out what was on it was the Remoto Dragon! "Wow, Remoto. You got big." Lindsay said before the Remoto lunged at her. They began fighting for a while, but briefly stopped when Lindsay began hurting herself. Then, they continued. Honey Boo-Boo just watched the fight go down while recording. While Lindsay was punching the Remoto, she noticed the battery sign on it. It was on low battery. "Low battery light? Oh, no wonder you've been so cranky." The Remoto threw Lindsay off it's back at that moment before jumping on her. The Remoto looked like it was going to eat Lindsay, but she then spotted some AA batteries. She managed to grab them and shove them down the Remoto's throat. It was now fully charged and returned to its normal form, licking Lindsay. She then yelled, "Marie, I got it! I got the remote!" Just then, she realized something. "But how do I get out of here?"
Marie was back in the living room, struggling to hold on. "Don't worry, sis. I sent the whole town into the couch searching for you. We'll have you out in a jiffy!" Currently, no one had found her. Tough guy D.J. Bennett was searching in the stream of milk. "Yo, Lindsay, you in here?" Dakota was doing a story in the cushion jungle. "Breaking news, local elementary school student and daughter Lindsay Siskin is missing in the couch. Film at 11." Kelly was near the china cabinet at the Gold Tours. "Where's my big girl? I brought you a change of clothes." Don even came by and snapped a picture of Kelly. Just then, Marie heard Dwayne's voice. "I did it! I found her! I found her!" Marie then pulled back everyone's ropes. However, it turned out Dwayne didn't find Lindsay, but Honey Boo-Boo. "My good girl!" Dwayne said. "That's not Lindsay. That's Honey!" Marie said. "I know, but I've been meaning on giving her a bath." Dwayne said. "Do you know what this means? Lindsay's lost! She's putting on the best show ever and we're not getting any of it! This is terrible!" Marie panicked. "Maybe you should send someone in after her." Marie turned around to find Lindsay with the remote. "Lindsay, you're safe!" Marie cheered. "Lindsay, I'm safe!" Lindsay added. Marie got up and hugged her sister. "And now we can use the remote again!" Everyone weakly cheered. "It all worked out. How disappointing." Ernest said, depressed.
Later, Lindsay, Marie and Honey Boo-Boo were taking a break on the couch, watching TV and eating Rainbow Swirl Bits. "Hello?" Grammy's voice said through the wall. "Can anyone hear me? I'm still in here! What's going on?" "See, this is why you need a remote." Lindsay said before turning the volume up on Bowling for Cash. Somehow, Grammy had turned live-action and entered the TV. "What's this, bowling? I love bowling! I'll show you amateurs how we used to knock 'em down before the war! Gimme that ball!" Grammy yelled. She grabbed a ball and rolled it, giving her a strike. "Go, Grammy!" "I love bowling!" Lindsay cheered.
Thank you for reading! This one took a while, but I hope you enjoyed it! I was originally going to try something else for the search scene, but I decided against it because it was a bit of a weird joke. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! See you soon!