"Yikes!"
"Perhaps yodeling might help Napoleon?"
"Why would I want to yo… .yowch! Will you take it easy?" Solo was turning beet red in the face as he laid down on his stomach while his posterior was being operated upon by his partner.
"It would be better than hearing you yowl," Illya snickered as he went on about his task. "Then again if your yodeling is anything like your singing..."
"Har-de-har-haaaaaaa! Will you take it easy and not be so rough? How many more before you're done?"
"Oh I would say another three-dozen or more, give or take a few."
"Use a gentle touch please, but try to do it quickly."
"I am being as gentle as I can Napoleon. Now will you please shut it and let me concentrate."
"Really? How much concentration does using a pair of tweezers take?" Solo was losing his patience.
"You would not want any of the offending objects break off would you? You are going to have enough trouble sitting as it is."
"Nooooo, OUCH! You're right, you're right!"
"I must say Napoleon this one is going to be an interesting entry on your expense report. From what I can see your trousers will cost more to repair than they will to replace. It would take minute stitching to fix them, not to mention removing all the drops of blood seeping into the fabric, which might be impossible."
"Oh gee, thanks for that reminder. Ow! Dammit Illya, easy!"
"If you do not like what I am doing to help you out, then you can take care of this yourself!" Kuryakin huffed, as he started to stand.
"No, nope...that, that's okay. Continue with your torture session."
Illya's expression was incredulous. "Me torturing you? Napoleon you were the one who did not watch where you were going and backed into that cactus. This is the thanks I get for helping you out with the results of your clumsiness."
The Russian dug in hard on a well embedded cactus spine, perhaps deliberately this time.
Solo buried his head in his hands, biting down hard on his necktie to keep from crying out again… he'd have to add that to his expense report as well.