Warning: none that I can think of except maybe language.

Rating: +16

Review responses:

Aki: I don't think you get heart points for being sarcastic with him. It got me negative points. :(

I like chappies that are light-hearted when it's appropriate. Not quite sure other people like it though. It's a very quiet audience!

YoshisSupport: no full moon here! It is centered on Fergus, as I think he deserves a lot more love than what's been shown in the game. The full moon will defn be in the next chappy!

David9999: Yeah...at the rate this story's going, it's defn going to be novel-length. I hope you'll stick around! And yes, I've already considered doing a sequel to this story that will cover DA 2, but it will be kind of AU. I'm already looking forward to playing DA 3. I want to know why our favourite heroes keep pulling off this disappearing act!

You Are Who Again?

"Fergus…Fergus…" A feminine voice called out to him in the darkness. The named person groaned and the pain that had accompanied him for the better part of his consciousness was soon dulled by another sensation. A warmth seeped into his very soul and he felt like he could breath easier in the smothering darkness that threatened to keep him in a senseless state for a long time. His eyes opened only to see two familiar faces that made his heart ache out of homesickness. Where was he? Why was he in so much pain?

"Look, mummy! He's awake!" Oren's high-pitched voice was like music to the rousing Cousland. He let out another groan and he attempted to sit up only to be forced back down by two pairs of gentle hands.

"Wha? What's going on? Why are you here?" Fergus was confused. The last thing he remembered was facing an ogre and then being thrown against a tree, only to slump down into a limp heap of bones and muscles.

A soft hand caressed his cheek and Oriana gave him a sad smile. "You were injured, husband dear." Her accent was wholly welcome to his ears, the Antivan origin clearly coming through her words in how she emphasized certain letters such as 'd' and 'w'.

"Is this the Fade? That's the only way I can see you two." Fergus knew that only mages were fully conscious when walking through the Fade. Only they were susceptible to a demon's offer.

His wife still looked beautiful as ever. Her emerald eyes glittered and were set above a pair of rosy cheeks that framed her face so exquisitely. Whenever she smiled, he felt it go straight through him and if the place was appropriate, he would have taken her and showed her how much he loved her. Oren was a wonderful consequence to one of their couplings and he had always cherished the gifts the Maker bestowed upon him. But their presence in the Fade made the reunion more heartbreaking than it should have. His heart felt as if it was about to break into pieces but he didn't know why.

Suddenly the worst possible idea sprang into mind and his head jerked upwards, only to see mournful eyes looking back at him.

"No, you-you can't be!" He was struck speechless and the words of 'you can't be dead!' got stuck in his throat, refusing to come out and thus rending this possibility real.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I tried-I really tried to fight them off…but there were too many." Oriana's eyes glistened as she sobbed her story out to him and Fergus gathered the both of them in his arms, his own tears making tracks down his cheeks. Oren clutched at his father's waist in a desperate manner, as if trying to console his father by touch alone.

"But this mustn't deter you from living!" Oriana whispered in his ear. Her breath was still warm and it smelt of lilacs growing in a field, in full bloom of the spring season. "You must live! The world depends on you and your brother!"

"Hadrian? He's still alive?" Oriana nodded her head in affirmation and her hands cupped his cheeks. She leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. He could literally feel her love for him pouring through his soul, as if to rejuvenate his downed spirits.

"There is someone who wants to see you before you wake up, my love," Oriana told him and she pulled back. Fergus felt another presence here; it wasn't malicious or threatening. Instead, it felt oddly familiar and Fergus gasped at the sight of a little boy smiling kindly at him. He looked so much like his little Oren that he rubbed his eyes just to make sure he wasn't seeing doubles. When the boy didn't disappear but rather came closer to him, Fergus noticed that his eyes, unlike Oren's green eyes like his mother's, were of a fiery blue. If they had been red, Fergus would have shouted 'demon!' and shoved his family behind him to protect them.

"Childe," the boy said to him in a soothing voice. "You are near death. A death such as yours would be a deep blow to your kind, to every living thing. Your brother would mourn you and the deaths of all he knew would irrevocably bring vengeance such as never been seen before in all of Thedas."

"Zarieth?" No, this wasn't the Wolf Protector of his family. Despite the boy's small stature, Fergus could feel the an immense power just hovering around him.

"No," the boy chuckled. "Zarieth has other matters to attend to like your brother. Let's just say I'm his superior."

"Why are you here?"

"Ah, that age-old question. It seems man is cursed to question every little facet of life instead of enjoying what time they have left. But that is beside the point. I am here to convince you to live on. I cannot make you live; it has to be your choice. But remember the consequences of your actions, good or bad."

"I don't…I don't know…" Fergus' head slumped on his chest. He had just lost his entire family. The little boy hadn't explicitly said that his parents were dead as well but he had insinuated it when he told the older Cousland that Hadrian's vengeance would be terrible to behold. Who had betrayed them? The last time he checked, Howe was the only person to have intimate knowledge of the Castle.

Suddenly, it hit him. Howe, that bastard! He must have done this! What better to have the confidence of a close friend than to backstab him in his vulnerable side and overtake the Castle, the one rumored to have been built on the bones of an Old God from long before.

"No. I will live on, at least long enough to cut off that snake's head."

"That's the spirit," the boy said quietly. "However, that task is your brother's and your brother's alone. You are needed elsewhere. You must retake your home before Howe wakes something that slumbers beneath the stones. There are even worse things than the darkspawn in this world, far worse."

The boy pressed the tip of his finger between Fergus' eyes and the man gasped in pain as everything melted together into a dizzying whirl of colours before eventually even the Fade disappeared into the dark abyss.

Eyes snapped open in shock and Fergus reared up from his bed, coughing and then gasping as agony flared in his ribs. He clutched at his torso, which, he just realized now, was wrapped in bandages. The blanket that covered him fell to gather around his lower torso. The dream, was it a dream? His eyes hastily scanned his surroundings and he found that he was lying on a small cot situated next to a wooden wall. Crackles of a fire going could be heard in the next room as well as movements of someone going about. He tensed as the footsteps got louder and there was an older woman, who stared back at him as if he was still supposed to be asleep or maybe even dead.

"Arren! He's awake!" She shouted loudly and Fergus moaned at how it jarred in cacophony with his sense of hearing. Now I am!

There was another sound of footsteps and a taller man dressed in mage robes had appeared right behind the elderly lady. Sharp yellow eyes pined him in his spot and Fergus felt as if a great hawk was staring back at him, intent on eating him for dinner. Then the gaze softened and the man called Arren stepped forth, only to kneel at his side and place a cool hand against his. He made a sound of satisfaction and retrieved his hand. The older woman also knelt beside the man, scrutinizing the waking man with a careful eye.

"So, you're finally awake," the stranger said to him in careful tones, as if unsure of whether Fergus had come back with an extra passenger or how he would react to being accosted by two complete strangers.

"I…where…" Fergus' voice croaked and he cursed his weakness. He had to get out of here! He had to find Hadrian! However, these strangers were too close for comfort and he let out another moan.

Thinking that the patient was in pain, Arren's hand came back to lie on his chest and he felt something cool seeping into his bones and relaxing into his muscles. An unintentional sigh escaped his chapped lips in relief.

"Better?" Arren asked him gently.

"Yes…thank you." Fergus rubbed his chest. The strangers were in a non-threatening posture and the concern for him could be plainly seen on their faces.

"You're in the house of the Hawkes. You're safe."

"How did I get here?"

"My brother, Carver, found you. He told me that you just reappeared right outside of Lothering Bridge. You're lucky he was on his way back from his herbal quest when he found you."

Arren saw that Fergus was trying to get out of bed as he told his story. The man was amazingly strong for having just recovered from vast internal injuries and a concussion on top of that. However, Arren did not want to risk his patent going into relapse and he firmly but gently pressed him back down, ignoring the hard glare Fergus was giving him as a result.

"You may be fully healed of your major wounds but I'm not a healer by profession."

It does explain these bandages. Fergus again stared at the white cloth that was wrapped tightly around his torso. He suddenly felt bashful at his half nakedness, especially when there was a female here. Quickly, he gathered the blanket and pulled it up to hide his chest. The old woman gave a hearty laugh and she patted him on the head as if he was a little child.

"Don't worry, young man. After taking care of two sons and a daughter, there's little to shock these eyes."

She gave him another pat, but this time on the cheek. Then she rose up from her spot and walked into the kitchen to tend to the meal that was cooking on a small stove. Arren waited for her to exit before turning his attention back on the convalescing man. How do I tell him that his brother's alive, that they are now the scions of the Cousland Family? He sighed. There was no better way to tell someone the truth except do it plainly and compassionately.

He grabbed a tiny stool that Bethany had previously occupied before and sat himself next to Fergus, who was waiting patiently for an explanation to all this.

"Since you have tended to me," Fergus began to say, his voice growing stronger by the minute, "then you must know who I am."

"Yes. You're Fergus Cousland." Arren confirmed.

Fergus' eyes widened when the strange mage knew his full name. "How did you know my first name?"

Should I tell him that his brother had come before him? Hadrian promised me to do so thus I will keep my promise. "Hadrian told me."

The name 'Hadrian' almost caused his patient to immediately jump out of bed. Arren had expected a reaction and so was not surprised when Fergus began to bombard him with questions of 'how did you meet him' and 'where is he now.'

Hands were placed in front of Arren to placate the man. When he calmed down and settled back into bed, Arren continued telling his story and gave him the locket that Hadrian had given him. Did Hadrian know that Fergus would come to be here, in his own house? 'Lothering is the first sign of civilization outside of Kacori Wilds. If you somehow see my brother first, give him this.' Arren recalled an exchange of tokens. Hadrian had given him the Tears of the Maker, something Arren felt it had belonged to someone special. Meanwhile, Arren himself gave Hadrian one of his father's gifts, as a 'thank-you' for the incident with the bandits.

Fergus' eyes welled in tears again at the sight of the painfully familiar locket his wife had worn. He himself had given this to her as a wedding present and it was no cheap piece of jewelry either. The locket was cut out of gold and Arialla, his family's personal mage, had offered to enchant the locks of hair held within, to where at a mere touch, it could bring up an image of the locks' owners. He did so now and in his mind, he could see the two of them smiling at him, waving their hands in the air as they whispered words of adoration to him.

"So, it's true, then," Fergus murmured quietly, still staring at the locket in disbelief. Perhaps if he willed it hard enough, the images would come to life and he would see them again in person. That was a fool's dream though. The dead don't come back from the Fade. Not ever.

"Yes and I am truly sorry for your loss," Arren's reply was heart-broken as well. He knew too well the loss of someone close to you. The memory of his father dying on his deathbed, begging him to take care of the family in his stead came to the forefront of his mind. However, he pushed it aside.

"Why? You're merely a stranger." It wasn't meant to be rude but Fergus didn't care how biting his words could be.

"A stranger your brother helped out when he didn't have to and the Hawkes are famous for repaying debts, no matter the costs."

"I'm…I'm sorry…" Fergus apologized for his rudeness and Arren just smiled back at him. He couldn't face the stranger. He didn't want the man to see the tears and to perceive him as weak. Perhaps it was a pride thing but it was all he had now, except for Hadrian.

"Hadrian has left Lothering," Arren's voice pierced through the thick fog of his thoughts. "We were supposed to meet with him and his friends in fact until my brother showed up with you."

"Do you know where he is headed?" It was daytime outside. Maybe he could catch up with him before night fell again. His face fell even more though when Arren shook his head in answer to his question. "When did he leave?"

"Two days ago. My family and I are to go to Amaranthine quite soon. Would you like to join us?"

The stranger was extremely kind to offer him a place with his family on their travels. However, one fact kept him from accepting it. If Howe truly was responsible for the deaths of his wife and son, Amaranthine was certainly the one place he did not want to be. That region was Howe's stronghold, where his own Castle stood, overlooking a lush valley with a river running around it and in between tall mountains. If anything, Howe would be vigilantly guarding his house against a slight possibility that either or both Cousland sons had survived Ostagar and would return.

"I can't. Thank you but I can't." Fergus really wished that he could go with them. He was still disoriented by how fast things were moving. "I need to find Hadrian first; perhaps Arl Eamon would know."

"Arl Eamon?" The Cousland eldest saw confusion cloud the mage's features. Who doesn't know Arl Eamon?

"He's the Arl of Redcliffe. An old friend and ally of the Couslands."

"Redcliffe is at least a good few days away from here, and that's by horse."

"I know. But it's the only place I have left now. Plus, I know for sure Hadrian is going to visit him at least once. Perhaps, when I'm there, I'll know what to do."

At first it seemed as if the stranger was going to ask him to change his mind. However, Arren didn't say anything. He stood up, the robes billowing out to where they covered his feet at least. He then started to exit the room, saying over his shoulder, "your things are folded and stored in the chest at the foot of the bed. When you are ready, please let us know before you leave."

Fergus numbly nodded his head and the strange mage left the room, giving Fergus space to grieve over the news now confirmed by his story.

A few candlelights later, Fergus was already up and about, trying to get his stuff ready for his trip. He had already went to one of the stables the village had but their selection in horses were severely limited by their paucity. Only one stallion seemed to stand out and he paid only half of what the horse was really worth.

Upon his return to the Hawke's house, he found the Hawkes had already packed their stuff, at least the stuff they could carry with them anyways. It was rather strange though to see the now empty interior of the house. Where was the furniture? Had they sold everything already?

The Hawkes had convened in the living area, standing and conversing in various musical tones. Bethany, another mage like her older brother, was speaking to the young man standing beside her, whose face was scowling so deeply that frown lines threatened to become permanent impressions on that chiseled face.

"I am still not sure if this is a good idea or not," Carver huffed at his sister.

"Carver, have some sense of adventure! This'll be fun!"

"Yes. I bet father thought so too when he ran away from Kirkwall."

A loud slap reverberated in the air and Fergus felt slightly uncomfortable at the sudden tension between brother and sister. However, it wasn't the sister that slapped the young man but rather the elderly woman standing beside him, a fierce expression on her face that just didn't suit her.

"If it wasn't for your father, it would only be me and you left; your sister, your brother would be kept imprisoned in that Maker-cursed circle, just like your cousins from the Amells!"

"Amell?" Fergus' exclamation disturbed the tension simmering between family members and it gave it a brief reprieve. As if now realizing that another person not of the family was with them, all three of them suddenly looked sheepish, as if they were caught red-handed in doing something wrong.

"Yes. Do you know of them?" Bethany asked of him, curiosity shining in her eyes. They were so green and it made Fergus' heart ache again.

"Yes. We're good friends with them in fact."

"Wow, it's really a small world here," Carver muttered underneath his breath, which earned him a sharp jab from his sister. "Ouch! I was just saying!"

"Be nice, Carver!" Bethany hissed at her uncouth brother. Maker! He can be a real butt sometimes!

"Well, what now, brother?" Carver asked his older brother, who was witnessing the whole exchange with an amused grin.

"This is where we part ways," Arren told everyone. He shook hands with Fergus, his grip unusually firm for a mage. If Arren wasn't wearing his father's old robes, Fergus would have mistaken him for a warrior. Arren's body was unusually muscled for one gifted with magic. The sleeve slipped in the handshake and Fergus could see the bulging forearms peeking underneath the slimming clothes.

"You know, we can teleport you with us," Bethany suggested. She really wanted this handsome man to join in. However, Arren had warned her not to press her luck with him, especially not with his family's death still having a hold on his heart. "or maybe we can take you to wherever you need to go to first."

"No," Fergus refused the offer. "I...I have to make the trip alone. I'll be fine. Besides, apostates are hunted down by Templars. You'll definitely get into trouble if you're seen with me. I have many friends who are Templars but I can't say that all of them are as nice as I am when concerning mages."

"He's right, Bethany," Arren assuaged his sister. "Besides, this spell will take a lot out of us anyways. I just hope no one's there to see it or we'll be in lots of trouble."

Bethany sighed. She knew when her brother's right, which was all the time and it was quite irritable. Hasn't Arren ever been wrong? Well, at least she tried. She hugged Fergus and wished him the best of luck. Their mother, Leandra, followed suite while Carver just shook his hand again. What was it with the Hawkes and their iron grips?

Arren was the last one to bid farewell. The tall man confused Fergus to no end. There was something about him, some great power that held him in its palm. Fergus couldn't tell if this was good or bad. He figured it was a good thing as he remembered what Arren had told him earlier in the day before he headed out to buy a horse.

There was a little boy that guarded your consciousness. He told me to save you and that I have to go to Amaranthine to seek out someone.

"Well, this is good-bye although I have a feeling I will meet you and your brother again. Take care of yourself and tell Hadrian that I've kept my promise. Now, please stand back."

Fergus took a few steps back and the living room started to get warm. Then it grew hotter and hotter, until even he was sweating underneath his armor. A large, transparent bubble grew out of both Arren's and Bethany's hands until it enveloped the four of them. Then, as quickly as it came into being, it disappeared, taking the passengers with it until there was nothing left but Fergus and an empty house.

"Farewell and best wishes," Fergus whispered to no one in particular. Again, a sense of loneliness took over him. However, he had a purpose and with that goal in mind, he set out of Lothering, in the direction of Redcliffe.

-TBC-

A/N: Poll is still open for any who want to vote for Fergus' sweetheart. As of now, if my math is right and including those given in reviews, Leliana is winning so far. So, for any of you who are Fergus/Zev fans, vote now and have a say in his future! Either review or go to my profile which will have the poll.

As always, please review! I most certainly do read all of my reviews for all of my stories and it's nice to hear thoughts and ideas from other readers. If you have an idea, say something and I will most certainly consider it!

Thanks,

NP