CHAPTER 24

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CHAPTER 24 Sickbed

As soon as Strange deposited them back in the palace, Bucky stormed off. Some of the others might have tried to talk to him, but he didn't hear any of it. His mind was still occupied with Hel, hanging limply in her father's arms.

"Regroup," Fury's voice cut through the fog, "Return the weapons, then meet in the conference room."

Bucky didn't slow his steps as he strode around the corner at the end of the hallway. Another set of steps echoed behind him. Even. Familiar. Without turning, Bucky knew Sam was following him at a respectable distance. More a guard than anything else. Just in case a bridge to the others was needed.

I don't even know where Loki took her, Bucky realised belatedly. Or where exactly her chambers are for that matter. She only ever showed me her office and throne room. His steps slowed as reality crept in around the edges. Until something nudged at his core. Like an instinct telling him where to turn. Bucky followed. Down corridors, stairways up and down. Sam always a measured distance behind him.

The string pulled taught in front of an unassuming door of ebony black wood. No runes like on his own room deep down in the palace. No intricate designs like on the throne room portal. Not even the simplicity of the rooms and areas their mortal comrades now occupied most of the time.

Sam stopped next to Bucky. Still not saying anything, he turned to stand guard beside the door. Bucky nodded at him.Who would have thought that we might work up the tolerance to keep an eye on each other without Steve there to tame our temper. Maybe – no, that would be too early.

Bucky opened the door.

Whatever he had expected, it was not this. Maybe a sprawling parlour or salon to entertain guests and read in the evening. Instead, he found himself right in the bedroom of his goddess. A warm fire flickered in the fireplace. The walls were lined with shelves full of books, scrolls and nick-nacks he'd need a lot more time to identify. But right now, the strings pulled him towards the bed piled high with pillows.

"Just used little too much magic," Hel's words echoed in his head, "No worries, soldier mine."

No worries. As if I could ever let that be that. Steve was just like that. 'Oh no, everything is fine' and next thing you know that stick of a guy is almost dying of pneumonia. Bucky stopped dead in his tracks. That was new. I didn't remember that before. I should write it down. Where did I hide my note book. Oh. Is it still in Wakanda? Maybe Steve took it with him…He shook himself. No. Not right now.

Slowly, the image of Steve, before the serum, in another life, faded until all that was left was Hel. Lying in bed, pillows piled around her and supporting her head. A blanked drawn up to her chin stark white against her sickly blue pallor.

Bucky settled on the side of her bed. The caution was for nothing. Hel gave no indication she was even aware of his presence. And she had lost her illusion. Not good. He stared at her face a moment longer. An unexplained feeling settling in his stomach. Something churning. Unsettled. A tiger in a cage without anywhere to go. Did her hair lose its shimmer? Or am I overthinking?

"You found her," Loki said from behind him.

Bucky whirled around to face the other god.

Hel's father had dressed down, only wearing a soft green tunic and pants. "Stand down, soldier," Loki spread his arms slightly, "I am unarmed." A grin curled his lips. "Well, mostly." Green magic snaked up Loki's arm, curling around his neck like a pet. The grin disappeared as quickly as it came. "She knows, you're here, if that is any consolation."

Bucky slumped back down onto the bed. He hadn't even realised that he had stood to defend Hel. "How long do you think?"

"Hard to tell. She used a lot of her magic to power the prototypes, summon her animal companions, defeat an army of undead, keep the barrier in tact to avoid their invasion of her realm." Loki settled into the plush chair next to the bed. His forehead creased as he looked at his daughter. "It depends on her, really."

Silence fell. Both men staring down at the young woman in the bed, still unmoved by their presence. It's up to her. She has to pull through. She has to. If only I had been there sooner. Never allowed her to slip away with the prototypes alone in the first place. What will become of this realm without her magic guarding it? Can gods even die? What if another undead army attacks and we're not strong enough? Why does this keep happening. I failed her once already. She gave up everything.

"Blaming yourself will not change anything," Loki cut clean through Bucky's spiralling thoughts.

"How do you – I was not…"

"I know the look of someone with a debt." Loki considered Bucky for a moment. Minutely, the god of mischief lowered his head into a nod

Bucky paused. Fragments of conversations flashed through his mind. Not all of them stories from Steve and what he got up to and how he found his new little family. He attacked New York, across the world really. Working with aliens, for Thanos. HYDRA was very interested in his sudden appearance. Especially after his brother decimated a whole town in his fight against some machine. Bucky reached out to rest a hand against Hel's wrist, keeping his gaze locked on her father. "You would do anything for your daughter."

Loki remained silent.

"Will her realm survive when she is weakened like this?"

"For a time. Our power as gods sustains our domains. A little bit of Odin was always feeding into Asgard, a little bit of Hel will always feed into Helheim."

"So it will slow her heeling," Bucky cut in. "And Thanos and Hela are still out there." Hel had plans. Let us make plans. She communicated with the outside world, to coordinate plans. We trained to become a unit. We can't leave her lying in bed alone. Hel's pulse beat against his fingers. "She chose me as her second in command."

"So she did," Loki examined his nails, feigning indifference. Badly. His eyes kept darting to his daughter's wrist in Bucky's hold. "Imagine that. A mortal soldier. Being a champion of sorts to a god."

She kept me safe when I couldn't save myself. It's only fair I return the favour. Bucky rubbed against the delicate skin of her wrist. No, I would do this with or without her favour.

"What is your plan, Sergeant?" Loki's gaze was piercing. Green eyes staring right into Bucky's thoughts. "Your god is in need of your help."

"No," Bucky looked down at Hel, pale and forcibly asleep, "My friend needs my help." He looked up at Loki, saw the father fretting for his daughter just behind the façade. "We will split our time between her care and getting this plan of hers in motion."

Loki's lips twitched. "What makes you think, I know anything about her grand plan?"

"You're her father."

Blunt. Straight forward. Loki blinked, his mask shattered for a moment. He didn't consider I might lead with that, Bucky realised. He thought I might cite his mischief and chaos domain as the reason or that he is the other god in the room or maybe even that his magic might be able to substitute Hel's own.

"Either of us should stay in here to make sure she wants for nothing and heals. At the moment, Sam's standing guard outside. I think it might be wise to have someone – ghost or otherwise – stationed outside to function as a messenger. Whoever is not with Hel takes over the furthering of our attack plan on Thanos."

Loki drew his shoulders back, sat straighter. Whatever softness of sitting at his daughter's sickbed had brought, disappeared. Prince Loki of Asgard took his place. "I assume, you might have noticed that my daughter tended to stall plans of direct attack until your mortal companions were better attuned to one another. I am sure we can pick up her threads, but it will take a few backdoors to get the pieces into place for the next stage."

"I thought we couldn't exactly leave here. And definitely not without her help."

"Well, that might be the case for you mortals. I, on the other hand am a god" A manic grin spread across Loki's face. "Your rules do not apply to me."

"She tweaked some strings, didn't she?"

"Of course she did. I am her father." Loki leaned forward, chin resting on the back of his right hand. "This is the longest time I have stayed in her realm after a – hm," his eyes flashed, "let's call it discorporation, shall we?"

"Well then it's good she twisted some strings for me as well." Bucky squared his jaw, let the mantle of soldier fall around him. "And she needs our help now. Someone has to sail the ship. Are you up to the task?"

Loki considered him for a long moment. Staring him up and down as if trying to figure out a complex puzzle. Or maybe some new exotic animal he's deciding whether or not to hunt.

Finally, Loki allowed all masks to fall away. What remained was a father very obviously deeply worried for his daughter. And then the last wall fell too. Blue littered with markings replaced pale skin. Hel's sunset eyes stared back at him in hues of dawn.

"Cards on the table, Barnes. I am the heir to the throne of Jøtunheim. A realm of powerful frost giants. Their might may make the difference between our certain demise and an actual chance at success." He shifted, something flickering in his eyes Bucky couldn't quite place. "It will not be an easy alliance. For I have killed their king. But Hel implied their possible involvement once or twice."

Bucky tried to wrap his mind around the fact that Hel was thusly not only the Goddess of Death, Mistress of Helheim, Princess of Asgard, but also by proxy heir to the throne of Jøtunheim. Just… Just all the titles. Like in that show Shuri was going on about with Peter. Something about a game of thrones?

"You know the ghosts better than me," Bucky said instead of anything else going through his head, "Do you think you could command two of them to take up post outside the door?"

"And another to deliver the paperwork here. We need to assure this realm can sustain itself still while she recovers." Loki looked at his daughter. His skin bled back into its usual pallor. "We are not the only inhabitants of this realm. Although most of them seem to have fled the palace grounds recently. Apart from the ones caught in the dungeon of course."

Of course. Hel huffed often enough about the demands her ghosts have. We cannot allow them to notice anything amiss. Whoever takes over her guard should work on the upkeep of the realm too. No, we probably also need magic to feed the wards and whatever else.

"How about I take care of her paperwork," Bucky suggested, "Do you think you might be able to feed some of your magic into the world around us?"

Loki's eyes wandered up to the ceiling. He looked around as if seeing something Bucky didn't. "I can certainly try."

Against all expectations, Bucky and Loki worked out an easy schedule between them to keep track of the demands of the realm and Hel's health. Fury took on the mantle of de facto leader of their companions with Sam and Wanda as the designated go between. Given that they were the only two both Bucky and Loki tolerated at Hel's sickbed made that decision easy.

"Here to report, sir," Sam would say with a quirked eyebrow.

"How is she today," Wanda would start, staring at anything but the bed.

"The mortal is growing into her powers, I can feel it," Loki whispered one evening when he thought Bucky was already asleep. "She is growing more powerful by the day and she needs proper training or she will destroy her world."

"Then train her," Bucky simply said.

"I might have less power to feed into the realm"

Bucky stubbornly kept his eyes closed at the admission. Something Loki would not have admitted to him just a few weeks prior. "You could instruct her without showing her? We need to be ready to face Thanos. And your brethren it seems."

"Not my brethren," Loki hissed.

Bucky cracked an eye open. The god stared at him with dark green eyes, shoulders tight. Something keeps him from his nature, from his giant heritage. Hm… "The people that bore and abandoned you," he amended, "That made you resistant to ice and allow Hel to turn into a vision of a battle angel."

Loki squinted for just a second, head tilted ever so slightly. As if trying to decide whether or not to ask whatever question was bouncing around in his head.

With a sigh, Bucky sat up in his chair, cracked his back. He settled back in comfortably. "I adore your daughter. She saved my life more times than I know. Offered me shelter when I had nowhere else to go." He made sure to keep his posture open, eyes squarely on Loki to let him see his honesty. "I wouldn't be here, if it weren't for your daughter. No matter what she does, I will always hear out her reasons."

Just like Steve will always stay by my side and refused to believe I truly turned without hearing my reasons. Must have rubbed off. He paused. Okay, time to put everything on the table. It might not make a difference, but I have to say it. I need him to know.

"For whatever reason, I could mostly look through her illusions for a long time now. I can't say I mind. She keeps it under wraps with everyone else, but whenever I saw her drop all illusions it was to protect me, us, with all her might. I refuse to see anything bad in that."

Silence fell between them.

For the first time since meeting Hel's father, Bucky felt like he had caught the god truly off-guard. Loki stared at him wide-eyed, his mouth slightly ajar for just a moment. Then he turned to rearrange Hel's blanket around her, fluff her pillow, tug his straight robes straighter. "I thought I knew what she saw in you." A wry grin curled around his lips. "But I think I had it wrong. You're much more dangerous than I gave you credit for, brave soldier."

Another moment of silence.

"Maybe you could learn a little trick of your own." Loki rose from his seat, Bucky following. As if by prior arrangement they stepped over to the desk littered in their daily work, only slightly cleaned after Bucky's turn on duty. "You have lived in her realm for longer than anyone ever. You see through her magics. Maybe her influence has rubbed off on you in different ways too."

They settled across from each other at the desk. With a snap of fingers, the papers rearranged themselves in the stacks Loki preferred over the controlled chaos Bucky was used to. "The worlds, realms, universes, whatever you may call them, are all covered in small remnants of natural magic. Very little can function without it, even if humans have largely forgotten how to make use of it. Ley Lines, wells of power, nature itself. Most magic can seem very mundane to the untrained eye. Even the one innate in most all living things." Loki let a small tendril of magic curl around his wrist. "You are willing to go to great lengths for my daughter," his gaze turned warning, "This trick will only work with her. Do not attempt it with anyone else. Do not overexert yourself or you will be unable to leave this realm. She would never forgive you for that."

"I swear on my partner's smile."

"Very well. Listen close, I will only tell you once. Souls and life work on very similar principles. There is a well of power in all of us, supplying our energy and containing our life's essence." Loki gestured to his abdomen. At the same time a shining ball illuminated whatever he was describing in the air between them. "Close your eyes. Find that well."

Bucky followed his instructions. Even if it felt weird to sit across Loki with his eyes closed, searching for something like a well? A source?

"Do not think so much."

Bucky focused on his breathing, using a technique he usually used to quell his panic. Breathe in. Holding. Breathe out. Breathe in. Holding. Breath out. In. Hold. Out. Sinking deeper into himself. His focus shifted with it. Aware of the expansion of his lungs, the pulse beating in his wrist where his fingers rested against it.

"Good. Almost there." Loki's voice drifted by almost like a breeze. "Try and find the energy coiling in your veins. Follow it to the source."

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in through the right side of his body and out through the left. Then switch. Bucky felt his muscles loosen, sinking into the chair against his back. And there. There was a splotch of something against the back of his eyelids, something catching his attention. Bucky let his focus drift through his limbs, following the lead to the source. Warm. This feels so warm. Is this what Loki's talking about?

"Very good, you have found your well. Commit this feeling to memory. You will need it whenever you want to find this place." Loki's voice seemed to whisper from all around him. How he could sense Bucky's success he didn't know, but then again, Loki was the expert on magic.

Loki's voice drifted back into his focus. "Now, imagine you're pulling a thread from this well. Just thin enough to thread through a needle. Take your time, yes good. Syphon the energy, let it travel through you to your fingers."

It took a lot of tries. Bucky lost his focus on the energy, tried to take too much, felt it slip through his mental fingers. He found out he had to follow the way the energy chose or it would hurt. But after what felt like a small eternity, he felt the soft warmth of the energy swirling in the palm of his right hand.

"Open your eyes, Barnes," Loki softly said.

Everything felt like too much. The light suddenly overly bright, the colours more than they were before. And there. In the palm of his right hand. Bucky blinked as he stared at the energy swirling like mist over his palm. No bigger than a grape. It was the colour that made him still. Blue. Bright blue. Not Tesseract blue but blue like a pair of beloved smiling eyes.

"My congratulations," Loki's voice was still soft, as if he knew Bucky could not tolerate much more at the moment, "You have mastered the first step. Much more than most mortals ever accomplish." Bucky felt the god's eyes scrutinizing him. "And you seem aware of whom your power might be beholden to. It is rare to see such a thing. It should have been a shade of green given that you are learning from an Aesir-trained user of seidr."

"Does it," Bucky's voice croaked, "Could I?" What even do I want to ask? If I could show Steve this? If I might be able to perform the same trick on him as on Hel or if that would only be possible after death? Do I keep this even when I leave Helheim? Loki said not to try it outside this realm…

Loki hummed, as if he heard at least half of Bucky's jumbled thoughts and not just two aborted questions. "My warning stands. Do not overexert yourself. But… Well, you are the first mortal I am aware of that is Aesir-taught. And one with such a strong bond in their energy too. There might be a way to bend the rules just enough. After everything is said and done of course."

Of course.