BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )
And so Kai managed to save the women and children of Kylon's soldiers. Verina the Tevinter mage helped once again, at great cost. And now it is a matter of getting everyone back to Highever. We will also have a special Fade visit. In this chapter or the next. After all, Kai has been running on fumes by this point. She hasn't slept for days, nor really eaten (what would Wynne nag her about if she did). Let's just say it isn't comatose like before, but it is probably darn close. I feel for Zev, Wynne, Fergus and the rest who have been through this with her before. But on the upside, I reveal Kai's middle name. Okay, that may be exciting only to me. LOL! ; )
And a special shout out goes to LadyJessmyn, who had the idea for talking to our mystery guest in the Fade first in her tale "Shades of Grey." Please read and review it, is so good. And her idea was so brilliant, and it sparked an idea for my own meet with the person in question, so to her goes my deepest thanks. She gave me permission to build on the concept for my own story. Thank you sweetie. And to Ladyamesindy and Phoenix Fire Lady who also sparked ideas for this chapter and the meet in the Fade. And thank you Ladyamesindy for letting me bug you! There she is trying to write her own, and I am pestering her like a four year old with what ifs. And to Night Hunter MGS who helped me with this story arc, my beta reader, my friend, you rock my socks. *HUGS to you all (and I mean everybody)!
And thank you lillgremlin for putting this on story alerts, and on favs! And to Don Macarin on the BioWare forum who joined the forum just to tell me how much he liked my story. I am constantly amazed by you all. Your loyalty, your reading my story, your love of it. I had now idea when I started this fanfic that I would have such wonderful people reading it. I really figured I might get a few passing mehs. I never expected to find such vibrant, wonderful readers, who actually think I write something worth reading. Bugger me, who knew? : ) So my lurkers, my reviewers, I am so grateful. You are my fuel and my inspiration. : )
And if you have never checked them out, I recommend the group E.S. Posthumus and their CD "Unearthed." And you can listen to their newest album on their webisite . And you can buy it there for iTunes or CD Baby. If anyone has watched the TV Show Cold Case and the intro music, that is E.S. Posthumus, the song called "Nara." You can listen to samples of "Unearthed" on Amazon or Youtube. Their newest is just as wonderful, and you can hear it on their website. I have a tendency to listen while writing this story.
Blessings!
Her Scaths had loaded up all the families and deposited them on shore. And then returned to take everything valuable off of it. Anything that could fetch some coin was taken. Kai had learned the value of this during the Blight. Now was no different that the Blight was named Anora.
Kai sat on the boat she, Zev, Naseel, and Zaeed had used to get off the ship. She would not allow the boat rowed to land until she saw the boat with her Scaths, who were scuttling the ship and bringing Verina's body, were safely rowing back. And even when their boat had passed hers, she stayed them with a flick of her hand. She wanted to watch it go down. And only when it had sunk listing to the port side, almost tipping over did she let them row back to the shore where the others waited.
Once on land Kai realized they had a problem, one of many problems, plural. One or two of the prison wagons the Tevinters had transported the families with would have to be used to transport the Tevinters themselves. That left one wagon and Kai had no desire to ask the already traumatized women and children to ride in a wagon that they were probably going to have nightmares about as is.
So they all found themselves walking along side the wagons pulled by Ceffvals, the Ceffyl Cheval hybrids. Kai, and those that had Ceffyls, took turns letting the children and wounded ride. It took them a day and a half to reach the watchtower to pick up Sten, Shale, and the Scaths that had been left to help tend to the bodies of the dead.
And that led to another crux of a problem. How much did she dare expose them to, since their men, their fathers, had been killed. And some of older women had as well. So someone's mother, someone's grandmother were also a pile of ash. And did the pregnant woman have any older children? If so, then they would have lost a mother, a father, and a baby sibling. Maker, could it get much worse? All of these things kept going around and around in her head. Her body felt exhausted, but her mind seemed to be running and scampering like a rat on a sinking ship. It wouldn't stop.
Luckily for her, the others seemed to be in better shape. They quietly asked after the young pregnant woman in the tower. The woman and her man had no other children, it was to be their first. The women and their children had not seen the others executed. They had all been separated and taken away to the ship. Kai had expected weeping and keening when they were told that all those left behind were dead, but they did not. They had expected the worst. Oh, there were tears when their suspicions were confirmed as realities, but not death wails she had thought. It was almost worse this way, the silent tears. She wanted to scream why shouldn't they? She wouldn't blame them if they did, nor if they took any anger they surely must be feeling on her. But they all seemed to be of the opposite frame of mind. They all wanted to thank her, to giver their gratitude for their rescue to her. She thought she might run mad with it. But Zev's calming presence and even Alistair's kept her from doing it. They didn't speak, she guessed they sensed her need for silence. She could just feel them one physically as his body brushed against hers, his fingers linked with hers, as they walked between their respective Ceffyls. And the other was a soothing caress in her head.
They had walked up the rise to the tower, and before they could see it, they saw the faint black smoke still curling upward into an overcast sky. Sten and the golem Shale sat by a rock facing the tower. Kai could not see her Scaths, but she knew they were there, hiding waiting to see who was approaching. Watching to see if it be friend or foe walking their way. Anyone not aware would have looked only at Sten or Shale and not paid attention to the shadows hiding in the various dark gray boulders worn by wind and time. As they drew nearer her Scaths appeared as if from the very rocks themselves. It caused some of the women and children to jump. But they quickly subsided when they realized they were with Kai.
Jarren grasped her arm in a warriors grip. "It is good to see you Scathach, and to see that you were successful" He nodded towards the group of women and children behind her.
"Jarren, we have Tevinter prisoners in the wagon. We need to get them sent back to Tevinter on the slowest, cheapest boat. On top of one of the wagons you will find anything we could strip from the ship that looked to be of value. It is one of the reasons why it took us longer to get here. That and we had to walk with the children. " Kai motioned with hands to the three little ones sitting on Luna. Jarren nodded. "Also, on top of the other wagon is a body. It is the body of Verina, the Tevinte mage who helped us at Gwaren. It was because of her that we made it in time. She sabotaged the ship. She deserves a proper funeral. Do we still have any oil left to use?"
"I think we do my lady, in the house." Jarren pointed to the cottage next to the still softly smoking ruin of the watchtower.
"What did you do with the bodies of the Captain and his men here?" Jarren motioned her to follow him. She spared one last glance at the cottage, so innocuous looking, just sitting there like something hewn from the rocks of the cliff. Kai had almost forgotten about what had happened here, until looking at the small house had reminded her. And in looking at the house, she was reminded of what she had done there. She felt her cheeks blushing in what, shame? Contrition? She had tortured someone, a personal rule broken. True it had not been what Zevran, nor Vimaro, nor Concha would have labeled as torture. But was by her book. Her father would be appalled.
Maker, at the rate she her regrets and sins were going to weigh her soul down like one of these huge boulders. "Mi' gra, that isn't true. My love, no one faults you for what you have had to do. Not me, not your father, not your mother, not anyone who knows you, or even barely knows you. Your actions my love have only been to do what you have had to do. Beloved, you are the one who judges yourself so harshly. Well, yourself and Anora, but she is a crazy bitch and doesn't count." She felt him pause for a moment. "Well, laugh."
She managed a small mental smile for him and a slight chuckle. "Sorry, I am so tired that I have passed the 'everything, including your jokes, are funny stage.'"
"Ouch." She felt him smile. "Just try to give yourself a little slack my love." Kai gave him a mental snort. "Notice I said try." She was interrupted when Jarren had stopped walking and pointed to the bottom of the cliff to the rocks below.
"We threw them over the cliff my lady, we let the sea have them. We did not feel they deserved a proper burial. Besides, we didn't want their ashes mingling with those of their victims. Kai nodded and smiled a half smile at him.
"Then we have just one more body to take care of then. Have the ashes of-" She couldn't even say it. Makerplease, no more situations where the words, victim or victims, had to cross her lips. She stared to sway. Firm, nimble hands caught her from behind, while Jarren reached out and grasper her upper arms. Both keeping her from falling face forward and off the cliff.
"I think my dear Kaidana you need to rest, no?" Kai started to feel a giggle. Maybe she wasn't past the so tired everything was funny stage. Of course it was Zev who had saved her from pitching forward yet again. She wondered if he every got tired of it. He should have left her to go back to Antiva, or anywhere else. He and the rest of them should run as far and as fast as they could, away from her. She wondered if they would go if she ordered them to. And she felt a giggle bubbling up again. She was mildly startled when he grasped her arm and took her away from Jarren and the cliff. "Don't Kai."
"Don't what Zev?" She tried batting her lashes at him. She looked over her shoulder and spoke to Jarren. "Have everyone else start to Highever. Have the Scaths stay off the road but within view of the wagons. I will stay here to tend to Verina's body. Jarren, make sure they get there safe. Tell my brother Fergus I will be there, tomorrow." She saw Jarren nod and he gave a passing glance at Zevran as he went.
"I know that look Kaidana Rhedyn Cousland. I know you are thinking of pushing everyone away to wallow in that pool of persecution you save just for yourself. I for one am not going to let you dip so much as a toe in, if I can help it." He stroked her cheek. "What happened here, happened because of Anora, and because of her men. You have done what you could, what you had to do. No one expects more, except you."
Kai gave him a chuckle, which sounded harsh, even to her ears. "That is just what Alistair said. Not in those same words-" She stopped when Zev's lips were pressed lightly to hers.
"Then perhaps you should listen then?" He grinned at her. "If Alistair and I agree on something, besides how delectable you are my dear Kaidana, then it must be the true. After all, we are right about that, no?"
She rolled her eyes for form, and gave him a smile. It seemed to assuage him. And to distract him from digging and breaking through that mask she was wearing. She changed the subject. "How did you know my middle name?" They started to walk back toward the burnt area outside the tower where her Scaths were laying more wood that the soldiers had apparently bought and brought with them, as no trees were available on this rocky barren point.
"I explored Highever, remember? I found your birth certificate. Yours and Fergus's. Angus? Really? What kind of parent straps their child with Angus, even if it is a middle name." Zev chuckled and gave her a cheeky grin.
"It was the name of a great-uncle of my father's I think." She shook her head at him and rolled her eyes for real this time.
Kai went to help them stack the wood. Zev put a staying hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off. Verina deserved for her to do this. She gave a bitter mental chuckle. It was after all, the very least she could do. When it was done, and the wood splashed with oil, she helped put the body on the bier. She kept seeing Verina as she lay dying that wooded n table. The image wouldn't go away, even as they poured oil onto the cloak she was wrapped in. Not after she had said some hollow sounding words, meaningless drivel, about sacrifice and bravery. What words could convey what the woman had done, and what Kai herself had failed to do? Nor would the image leave her as she put the torch to the wood, watching the oil catch. And the image only seemed to dance in every orange flame. It stayed with her when Zev had pulled her down to the blanket he had laid on the ground. It was there while she stumbled getting her mouth to chew and her throat to swallow the food Zev insisted she eat. The image was there as Zev tucked her cloak around them both. It was there as her head rested on his shoulder and it was there as her eyelids drooped in exhausted slumber, the orange flames creating the image on the back of her eyelids. She had a moment to wonder if it would follow her into the very Fade itself before a pool of blackness opened up, and she fell in.