A/N – Thanks for taking the time to comment and read. I love reading your opinions. – Guest 1 – I agreed with your show assessment and Y&R totally. And the layers are totally missing. I don't think a lot of people appreciate SBu's portrayal until it was gone. * Guest – re: the evil internet, I know…and some readers do also mention stuff that goes. All I can say is that ignorance is bliss.
Well I think I'm going to have to throw in an extra chapter this week. I'll probably do it tomorrow.
Oh, and regarding my promise that you can vote on if you want me to make one of the ficlets longer in the future, here are your choices: Ablaze, Break the Silence, Perfectly Imperfect, or I can write the Ruse Part II. Give me your top 2 in the order you'd want in case I have a tie.
Chapter 13
Elizabeth slipped into an empty call room before her appointment and a few minutes later, the door opened slightly and Claudia moved into the room and took off her hat and glasses.
"Did you find something?"
Claudia nodded. "I got some good information. I've narrowed it down to two places and have some men scoping it out."
Liz sighed with relief. "Thank you. Why are you finding all this stuff out and Johnny isn't?"
Claudia smiled. "Let's just say, men are suckers for a short dress and heels."
Liz smirked.
"Johnny caught me at the bar."
Liz's eyes grew big. "What happened?"
"Well, he asked me if I got a solid lead and needed help to call him."
"Did you agree?"
"Yes."
"Claudia!"
She chuckled. "What? He agreed to sleep with me for two nights if I do. Have you noticed how hot he is?"
Liz shook her head, trying not to laugh.
"Don't worry, I'm not giving you up and I'll only call if it's an emergency." She would never endanger Cam's life.
"So you like Johnny?"
"Oh, I like him alright. He'll probably need several days to recover by the time I'm done with him."
Liz blushed. "I'm not the most forward person when it comes to that."
Claudia's brow rose. "Why not? You're gorgeous in an apple pie kind of way and you're a little thin, but have a nice body. You need to learn to work it."
"I think we probably went to the opposite extremes after we were raped."
"Probably."
"Jason is so hot, that he flusters me."
Claudia grinned. "Get over it. Take advantage of his hotness, I can guarantee that if you initiate, he'll be right there with you."
"He's the only man that didn't treat me like I was going to break, in fact, I think he likes that he's intimidating." Her face was bright red by the time she got the sentence out.
"So, he likes to take control and is demanding?"
"Yes. We only had one night, but we made love several times."
"Really?"
Liz nodded. "He makes me feel—sexy."
"Then play out how you feel. Think about if you were more bold like me, how would that feel and what would you do. Be an actress."
"You want me to fake it?"
"I didn't say that. It's fun to pretend your someone else, like me playing a nurse or something, but that doesn't mean you fake the feelings."
"Lucky wasn't into that. He was kind of—boring while Jason is very intense and enjoys making me scream." Her checks flushed with color again, making Claudia smirk.
"And you like the intensity?"
"Yes. You would think I wouldn't, but…"
"It excites you. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel the same way. It's nice to take it slow sometimes, but the intensity makes me feel less broken. I like to have control; to bring a man to his knees because it makes me feel powerful. My problem is that I have a lot anger and I'll never admit it to anyone else, but I do want to be loved. Sex is great, but after the rape I just felt like men saw me as a walking vagina."
Liz cracked up. "Great visual."
Claudia grinned. "You know what I mean."
"Yes, I do."
"I didn't feel like anyone really saw me or that they got me. Sometimes, if it's going well, I sabotage it because I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Men haven't been very nice to me."
"Johnny is a good guy."
Claudia shoved her emotions back. The conversation had gone way deeper than she had intended. "I have no illusions where he is concerned and I'm fine with wild sex. I doubt he'll see it as anything but."
"You never know. Love is a risk and even after all the pain, I wouldn't cut myself off from it completely. I see you, Claudia. That girl you're still trying to protect has grown up and she wants more. Nothing is wrong with that. Love is not a weakness."
"For now, I'll take your word for it, but know that I heard everything you said."
"Good. I have to go to my appointment. You know, you might like therapy. Gail doesn't judge and she helps put things into perspective."
"Now you're just pushing it," Claudia said with a slight smile. Her twisty persona was almost her signature right now, and she isn't sure she wants to give it up because it is what she knows. Pain is her only reference.
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Gail welcomed Elizabeth into her office. "How are you today?"
"I'm okay. I miss my son."
"I was hoping you would have found him."
"Everyone is trying, but we just haven't gotten a lead yet."
"I'm sorry. Last time, you mentioned Jason and I asked why you ran from each other."
Liz clasped her hands together. "Jason was a lifeline for a while. I didn't even realize that I was falling for him. Unfortunately, I was too stuck on Lucky to do anything about it. I could easily say it was the danger of Jason's job, but the truth is that I never let myself go there because for a long time, Lucky was an obligation and what Jason had to offer scared me. He helped me feel so free and that wasn't something I think I had ever felt before. He asked me to leave town with him, but I couldn't and I didn't let myself consider his feelings or that I may be hurting him and Jason as usual tried to do what he thought was best, not realizing what damage his leaving had done. There was just so much going through my mind that I don't think I ever understood why I deserved the Lucky after the fire. Everyone shoved us together like we were some fractured fairy tale."
"They took away your choice."
Her mouth opened and closed. "I never thought about it like that. Maybe that's even worse."
"How so?"
"Someone else took away my choice before him and I didn't fight. I let him take what he wanted. I've spent most of my life doing what everyone else dictated. They didn't care about my choices. When I met Ric, I thought he did, but he was yet another person trying to control me."
"And Jason?"
Liz laughed bitterly as she wiped a tear away. "For the most part, he was the complete opposite, thinking that it was always my choice because I stood to lose the most. Sometimes, he did leave to protect me though and that did take away my choice, I guess I just never thought of it like that until now." Her hands flew up into the arm and then dropped precariously onto her legs. "He's just as screwed up as me. After his accident, he had to re-learn everything and the more people hurt him, the more closed off he became and distrustful. To an extent, I was kind of like that too, trying to protect what was left of my heart and choosing to fight to be with the wrong person. Our biggest common denominator is that people don't care about what we want and feel. I think that drew us together and we found comfort in just accepting each other. Trust me, it wasn't all good. We pushed each other away a lot. I'd like to think that we're more mature now and wouldn't do that again, but I don't think I completely trust him not to push me away and me not run. It was different when we were younger, now there is Cam and the baby to consider."
"What would it take for you to really open yourself up to him?"
"One deep look in those gorgeous eyes of his."
They started to laugh.
"I can't deny that they are beautiful," Gail said before handing her a tissue. "Jason is very complex, yet simple to a degree. That's a precarious combo at times."
She nodded. "He is the most caring and loving person that I know. It's such a dichotomy, but then that is just who he is. We're survivors and had to claw our way back to some semblance of life. I would love to think that we could make a life together instead of dismissing it as a fairy tale."
"But you're scared?"
"I'm not scared of Jason, it's just that it seems like the world is so against us. Our timing brutally sucks and I pushed my feelings so far down that I forgot what made us special for a while. As I lost myself, I lost us too. Suppose we try and it doesn't work?" She scowled. "I just told Emily that I can't live in the land of what if's and I just did."
"Elizabeth, you're right, you can't live there. It's better to be in the present. If you don't take risks, you'll end up repeating your mistakes. Do you want another relationship like you had with Lucky or Ric?"
"No."
"Then concentrate on the positive. Instead of dwelling on all your failures, think about your achievements. You do realize that this isn't all your fault, right?"
"Yeah, I do."
"I'm not making excuses for you, but the rape changed you and so did losing Lucky in that fire, and I won't even get started about your parents. Now, you have a wonderful little boy and a baby on the way. You're a great nurse and from what I understand, a talented artist as well. And then there is Jason. Against all odds, you found each other. Maybe he is the gift that you definitely deserve and maybe you're his in return. Today was our last sanctioned session, but I'd love to continue with you. I want to see you happy and healthy and I think you're off to a great start."
"I would like that."
"I'll have my nurse call you and we'll set up something for next week. Maybe you can even talk Jason into joining one of your sessions."
Liz smirked. "I might have to use blackmail."
Gail grinned. "No, I want him to come on his own so he will participate."
"I'll work on it."
"Good."
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Claudia popped a piece of chocolate into her mouth. Nothing. It was so quiet on the street that she swore she could hear a bear poop in the woods. There had been no movement at the house at all and her people had disabled the alarm and got inside and there was nothing going on at all, but her instincts said the opposite.
Her eyes went from the house to her side mirror as she watched a man get out of a car behind her and approach her. Sliding her hand to her side, she checked that her weapon was still in the right position and waited. There was a knock and the man leaned down and she rolled her eyes and motioned for him to get in. Once he got inside she turned to face him.
"Are you stalking me? I mean, I know you can't wait to sleep with me, but I really wasn't expecting you to go all sissy la la on me."
Johnny smirked. "Very funny. We already checked this place."
"And so have I."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I have a feeling something is about to go down and I trust my instincts. They are never wrong."
"Why are you really trying to find Cam?"
"He's a little boy and he doesn't deserve this. I'm just doing the right thing and it's keeping me out of trouble."
"Is that even possible?"
Claudia grinned. "I'm sure there's a study on that."
"Statistical, I think it's sure bet that you can't keep your nose clean for long."
"Maybe not, but I'm really looking forward to showing you how bad I can be."
Johnny winked at her and then got out of the car. He really she's onto something, because they really had little to go on at this point.
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Alexis clasped her hands together and momentarily stared at the solemn man sitting across from her. "Jason, you haven't found anything to clear you yet?"
"No."
The sound of her sigh filled the room. "Diane sent me to check up on you because you are running out of time. She would have come herself, but she had a hearing." Alexis wasn't completely back to work, but she was glad to get out of the house.
Her face is thinner than normal and her coloring isn't quite right, but she still has one of the most expressive faces that he has ever seen. "I know. Just—she has to get me out so I can find Cam."
"I'm sorry about the kidnapping. Elizabeth must be going crazy."
Jason nodded.
"Maybe this is an opportunity for us to talk. I wanted to apologize to you."
"For what?"
"For asking you to stay away from Sam."
Jason frowned. "Why?"
"Because I think it made things a lot worse and frankly, she's an adrenaline addict and she likes danger, so I was wasting my breath."
"I'm sorry that she hurt you."
Alexis took a languid breath. "She hurt you too."
"Things are complicated."
"I know. She thinks you want to leave her."
"That's between us."
Alexis held her hands up. "I'm not trying to pry. I know that Elizabeth is pregnant and that the baby could be yours. Sam is devastated, but at the same time, staying with someone out of guilt will just hurt them more in the end. All I ask is that if you would rather be with Elizabeth, that you just end it with Sam. After all that has happened, I don't think she deserves to have all of this dragged out."
"You're right."
"I don't want you to think that I hate you, because I do think you have a big heart. Elizabeth is a good person and she deserves the best as do her children. I don't want to see you decide to be with her and then something bad happens and you do what you did with Sam because I've seen and lived the fallout and damage it caused. Make a decision either way and stick to it."
He nodded.
"I'm glad I got that off of my chest."
Her soft smirk brought one to his face as well. "How are you feeling?"
"I still have good days and bad days, but I'm alive and very thankful for it."
He understood. "I'm glad you're going to be okay."
"Me too."
Diane breezed in. "I got out early."
Alexis stood. "Good luck."
"Thanks."
Diane took her place and waited for her to leave. "Sorry. Any news?"
"No."
"We don't have long. I have two days or they are sending you to Pentonville until the trial."
Jason groaned.
"I know, but they are foaming at the mouth to convict you."
"Johnny is working on it."
"Well tell him to work harder."
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Claudia looked at the note in her hand one more time. "Go to this address and you'll find someone you've been looking for. It will help free Jason. –A friend." She wasn't sure if it was a trap or not, but her men gave her the name of the person staying there and she slipped out of the car, realizing it could be a really big break.
Alfred peered through his binoculars, glad she had taken his bait.
Claudia grinned as she walks up to a motel door on the outskirts of town and knocks. She is going to get major brownie points for this.
A man slightly opens the door, leaving the sliding lock activated. Two guards ease up beside her, waiting just in case there is trouble.
"What do you want?"
"To talk."
He notes how hot Claudia looks. "Are you a hooker?"
"Do you need one?"
The look on Claudia's face almost makes the guards laugh.
"Are you a cop."
She rolls her eyes. "Hell no!"
He pushes the door shut and then releases the lock and opens it. Claudia can see a pizza box on the floor and the television is displaying the Food Channel.
"Come in."
She saunters past him.
"How much?"
"I was just about to ask you that."
The man's eyes rake up and down her body. "I bet my cock would taste great in your mouth."
Claudia sighed. Men could be such pigs. "I'm not a hooker, asshole."
His brow furrows and he starts to reach for the gun in his waistband.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's a red dot on your forehead and all I need to do is raise my hand up and you're a dead man."
He looks towards the mirror on the dresser and can see that she isn't lying. "What do you want?"
"You're not testifying against Jason Morgan."
"I'm not?"
"No, you're leaving town alive or dead. It's your choice."
"Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm Claudia Zacchara."
