A/N – Thanks for the comments! So glad you're enjoying our couple. I'm posting this early because I'm going out of town and wanted to make sure you got your chapter. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Chapter 22

Sonny averted his gaze. "Mad or not, it's still no excuse for cheating."

"No, but you've cheated on her before and there was no excuse for that either. Look, all I'm saying is that baby could be yours. If you walk away from her when she needs you and it is, then you might lose your family. Like or not, it was your words, ones you knew would send her over the edge, that drove her out of your house. I'm not saying what she did was justified, but just decide what is more important, your pride or your family. Do you want Carly?"

"It always seems to come back to her or Brenda. Carly can handle the life for the most part and I do love her, but don't expect me to just look the other way." Jason had pretty much confirmed that Carly had done something really stupid.

"I don't think you should, but I'm just saying that you should hear her out and then decide if you want to work it out. Carly is a pain in the ass, but she puts up with all your shit."

"You walked away from her, when she needed you."

"I did because I couldn't keep letting her hurt me. You two thrive on dysfunction, like it's some sick dance. It's what you do and you totally ignore the consequences. I'm over it"

Sonny sighed. "I know. The fact that the baby survived is a miracle. I'm not going to promise Carly anything, but I won't leave right now. She needs to recover."

"Take care of her."

"I understand why you're done. I'm surprised you don't feel the same about me."

"If we're honest, our friendship hasn't been the same for a long time. Things are going to change, but we both have important things to focus on right now. I need to make sure my family is safe and you need to take care of yours."

Sonny nodded, not sure exactly what Jason meant, but knowing that it wasn't something they could discuss in a hospital stairwell. "I better get back in there."

Jason followed him out and saw Gail with Elizabeth and approached.

"There you are. It's good to see you," Gail said.

Jason shook her hand. "Thanks, I think."

Gail chuckled. "I promise that this is a good thing."

He nodded as she led them to the office where he waited for Liz to pick a chair and then sat beside her.

"Now, the reason I asked you to come today is so that you and Elizabeth can make sure you're on the same page as you move forward with your relationship."

Liz gripped Jason's hand and he squeezed back, glad she made contact because it was always hard for him not to touch her.

"Honesty and respect are paramount. If someone is voicing their opinion, even if you don't agree, I need you to wait until they are finished."

They nodded.

"Alright, Elizabeth, I want you to start off telling Jason about your abandonment issues and why you have them and how his leaving on occasion truly made you feel."

She blew up a harsh breath. "You really go for the jugular."

Jason raised their hands and kissed hers. "I'm listening."

She let go of his hand so she could turn her chair towards him and he adjusted his as well.

"You know that my parents left me to travel all over the world to help people in need. Well, it made me feel like I didn't matter, especially when they didn't even come home or call after I was raped. They've basically been non-existent. When you came into my life, you helped save me from drowning in my grief, because Lucky had left me too. In the midst of all the pain, you taught me what it felt like to feel free and learn to love the wind."

Jason wanted to pull her into his arms and make all the bad memories go away.

Recognizing the emotions swirling in his eyes, she wanted to embrace him too.

"I know that you wanted to protect me, but I just felt like I wasn't worth fighting for. All my insecurities bubbled to the surface and I felt like I was drowning again, but not because of Lucky, but you."

Jason looked over at Gail.

"Elizabeth, can he interrupt?"

"Yes."

"I—you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."

Liz blushed.

"The way your hair fell into your face when you rambled. You were so passionate about life and loyal. Instead of letting that night in the park destroy you, eventually you let someone love you and never let your demons stop you. The more time I spent around you, the more I felt myself falling for you and in my mind, I wasn't worthy of you. I was damaged and dark and would ruin your life, but I couldn't stay away. Leaving you ripped a hole in my heart too. I honestly didn't think you'd choose me, but felt I had to try. I hated watching you suffer and I knew it would hurt you when I was gone, but I also had convinced myself that you were better off without me, that you deserved so much more than I could ever give you. When I asked you to leave with me, I should have said more so you knew my heart. I was so scared that you would choose him, that I was trying not to totally expose myself. When I left that day, I was devastated, not only because I couldn't have you, but because I knew that Lucky was probably going to break your heart and I didn't have the strength to watch it. I thought if you were away from me, you could figure out your feelings and that you'd realize that you had another option, because like you, most have walked away from me. I never felt good enough or like I even had anything to offer besides a warm bed. I never understood how you could see the good in me and overlook what I do."

Liz looked over at Gail who nodded.

"I never thought you could love someone like me, that maybe I wasn't woman enough for you. Jason, I don't think you realize just how hot you are."

Red crept into his cheeks and Gail had to bite her lip.

"In my mind, you were the one that made me feel things that I never thought were possible, but I guess I didn't think I deserved it. You offered me the world and I walked away like some lovesick zombie because I didn't want to hurt Lucky when all I did was hurt you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, for making you feel that you weren't enough, when the truth is that you were everything."

A tear trickled down her cheek and he swept it away with the pad of his thumb.

"Continue," Gail said.

"I know I chose Zander and I'm sorry for that too. Again, it was my fear and my self-worth. My feelings for you were so big that they overwhelmed me. And then I acted like a brat because you avoided me and ended us before we even really began." Liz could tell he wanted to interrupt. "Go ahead."

"You had valid reasons for being upset. I didn't think about how you had lost Lucky and what affect it would have on you to lose Sonny too. I was following orders and it killed me to avoid you, but I just didn't want to lie. It wasn't about trust and you knew there were going to be things I couldn't tell you."

"I did, but I felt like you didn't trust me. I was jealous and hurt. You tried to apologize, but I pushed you away because I was trying to hurt you before you hurt me."

"And then I walked away again and shut down. I did exactly what you were protecting yourself from. I finally had my chance with you and the business got in the way and I never thought you'd hate me more than I hate myself and I completely shoved my feelings down and told myself that I never loved you, when that wasn't true. You walked away and there was someone waiting who by default couldn't avoid being exposed to the business and I thought that maybe this was meant to be, that she could handle the violence and accept me completely. I needed to feel wanted."

"May I say something?"

He nodded.

"I don't want you to think that I didn't accept you. Yes, the threat of violence scared me, but you never did. There wasn't one moment when I looked at you and would have changed anything. Even though your loyalty to Sonny and Carly drove me crazy, it was also a testament of your strength. I wanted you to be that way with me, to love me unconditionally."

"I didn't love them unconditionally. I felt like they were all I had because they accepted my choices and what I had become. By walking away or ending our friendship, I had no one, so I focused on fixing them instead of fixing what was broken inside me. I tried to make the best of a shitty situation."

More tears began to fall. It was just as hard for her to hear how depressed Jason had been and she realized that they were alike in so many ways, because she had done the exact same thing. "Don't you see? I never wanted to be an obligation or someone else you had to fix or rescue."

"But you were rescuing me. You saved me after I was shot. I was hurting so badly and you are the one that made me smile again, just like you said I did for you. I'm so sorry about Courtney. She was a rebound and there is no way she ever replaced you in my heart because you never left it. I was trying to forget about you because I thought you hated me. I know it hurt you to see me move on and I'm partially responsible for you giving Ric a chance to break you." God, he felt horrible that he had done so much damage to someone he had never wanted to hurt.

She let out a shaky breath. "I know I made mistakes too and I'm sorry for Ric. The fact that I went back to him after what he did to me and Carly…"

"I understand. You were pregnant and needed someone to believe in and fight for you. He knew that and said all the right words, knowing you were vulnerable. "

"That's no excuse. Choosing them over you was more me running away from being truly loved and I never want to do that again."

"We won't because I think we both realize that our love is what completes us and we're better together than apart."

"I want to believe that, but part of me is still scared that we'll run. We never fought to be with each other."

His hand cupped her cheek. "I wasn't with Courtney to hurt you and you weren't with Lucky and Ric to hurt me. We were trying to survive the best we could when we were both damaged. What can I do to convince you that I'm done running? I will do anything."

"Even let me steer?"

Gail chuckled when Jason's mouth dropped open and he stuttered.

"What?"

He chuckled when her brow rose. "You haven't asked me that in a long time."

"Well?"

"Elizabeth Webber, I will do anything in this world for you accept let you steer my bike."

She smacked his arm. "You brat!"

He grinned. "The bike is too heavy. How about we agree that maybe we'll get you a one that's smaller."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

He didn't answer right away and her head tilted.

"What?"

"I was trying to think if I could build some kind of training wheels on it."

She went to hit him again, but he distracted her by kissing her passionately.

Gail's eyes grew big. "I think my job is done here."

Liz smiled as she tried to catch her breath.

"I know we hurt each other. I forgive everything. I'm not spending one more second in the past when I know you are my future."

Liz's bottom lip quivered. "That is probably the single most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. I feel the same way, but what about forgiving yourself?"

"I'm working on it." He needed to process how she had felt. Neither one had understood how much pain they had inflicted on the other.

"Me too."

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI

Sonny walked back into Carly's room and her eyes tracked him until he pulled up a chair. "Who was it?"

To his surprise, she didn't cry and almost seemed resolved that she had lost him.

"I was devastated when I left that night. I went to the Metro Court and Jax saw how messed up I was and took me to a room."

Sonny's jaw clenched as anger rose in his belly. Why did it have to be Candyboy?

"He was nice and I was a complete mess and he kissed me and the next thing I knew, we were in bed."

Sonny put his head in his hands and Carly watched as his resolve crumbled. "Out of all the people—you fucked Jax? Jesus, Carly."

"What, because he fucked your precious Brenda? Believe it or not, I'm sorry that I cheated. I actually hate myself for it, but I'm not sorry for this baby because it's my little miracle. I'll raise the baby on my own if I have too."

He stood as his chest heaved. "I need time to process this, but this is not over. I'm not walking out on you right now."

"Why?"

"Because that baby could be mine and you are the mother of my children."

"So it's pity, not love?"

"If I didn't love you, I would have never had this conversation."

Her face contorted as he quickly left the room. A few seconds later, Jax appeared in the doorway with some flowers.

"Carly? Are you okay?"

"Nothing will ever be okay again."

"What's wrong?" He put the flowers down and then grabbed her hand.

"Jax, there's something I have to tell you and I don't even know how." Her voice rose several octaves at the end as she struggled to hold it together.

"It's okay. Please, tell me what's wrong."

"I'm pregnant."

He sucked in air as he backed up several steps. "Is it mine?"

"I don't know."

"Does Sonny know?"

"Yes."

Jax turned around and put his hands on his hips as he tried to process it. Slowly turning around, he faced her again. "I can't walk away from you if it's mine."

"I know."

"And Sonny?"

"He just found out."

Sonny stormed back into the room. "You need to get out!"

"You are upsetting her. I think you're the one who should leave."

Sonny grabbed him by the collar. "Haven't you done enough damage? You took advantage of her while she was hurting."

"Get your hands off me. If you weren't such an asshole to Brenda or Carly, neither one of them would have come to me."

Sonny's fist connected with Jax's chin and Carly pushed the call button. Security was called to separate them, but neither one of them had expected the wrath of Epiphany.

"I don't know what this is all about, but Carly almost died and is recovering. She doesn't need this. If I catch either one of you fighting again, you'll be banned from this hospital. This is not a boxing ring or a place to air your grievances. Can't you see what damage you are doing?"

Their eyes went to Carly who was barely holding on.

Jax's eyes lowered. "I'm sorry."

Sonny wrenched his arm from the guard and muttered that he was sorry as he stormed out of the room, needing some air.

"You need to leave too," Epiphany said as she pointed to the door.

Jax nodded sheepishly. "I'll check on you later."

Piph approached the bed. "Are you alright?"

"No, but it's my mess, I'll figure out some way to fix it."

Piph sighed. "Maybe you just need to worry about yourself and what is best for the baby instead of how to fix things with a man."

Bobbie smirked. "Amen. I'll take it from here."

Epiphany left and Carly started to cry. Bobbie isn't sure what had happened, but had a feeling she will be picking up the pieces.