A/N: Not betaed. Fluffiness and emotional stuff ahead. Be warned!

Recycling Hearts

Part III: Now and Forever

Sasuke's POV

I remember that my feelings for you were devastating from the very beginning. It took me far too long to allow myself to open up to you, because your light blinded me and rendered me powerless, and I was never really all that pleased about it. You were so different from me, and I didn't like how your radiant personality annoyed and lured me in at the same time.

But, with time, you became precious to me. Even more so when your parents passed away when you were twelve and I found myself feeling the impending need to be there for you and offer you another place to call home by my side, as my best friend. My parents – who had met yours at some point – were okay with helping you with whatever you needed, but you were lucky in having Kakashi – your dad's most precious friend – wanting to be your guardian.

Naruto, liking you was exhausting and challenging. We were always rivals, fighting and competing against each other, and it was all as violent and hateful as it was exhilarating and irreplaceable. We both wanted to outshine the other just as much as we wanted to protect and cherish each other. We both knew we had a deep bond that went beyond what the eye could see, so we never really needed to explain our relationship to those people that were always confused. We laughed together as easily as we fist-fought. But that's just how it was between us, and we were both fine with it.

That is, until things became complicated, feelings became frustrating and all that senseless fucking occurred.

I have to admit that I loved it when we fucked. Even when it was painful and rushed. Even when the lust was triggered by anger. No matter who did what, it was the kind of rush that quickly became addicting and dangerous.

But I was scared. I was scared of the sudden awakening of my sexuality, scared of desiring a male body, but more than anything, I was scared of you. Because it had all started because of you.

Teenage angst isn't something to be taken lightly. I was never a particularly dramatic person – normal teenage issues were unknown to me – but when we started having sex, my world was turned upside down, even if I didn't show it.

It was all about dealing with the tension between us at first, but then, after so many times of doing it to the point where I knew every fucking corner of your body by heart – as you knew mine – things changed for me. All of a sudden, your hands on my skin started feeling differently and I was aware of you like never before. My name, coming from your mouth in the haze of passion made me lose myself. And then, I started craving you, missing you, needing you. Needing more.

It wasn't supposed to be like that. In my teenage brain, sex was sex and it was supposed to feel good, to be stress relieving and nothing else. We were best friends and fuck mates, and that was all there was to it.

But I was developing feelings. For another guy, nonetheless, and it wasn't good. What would my parents say? What would you say, if you knew? What was I supposed to do about it?

I didn't want to be gay, I just wanted to be normal and to be able to, one day, go back to being myself again and be able to say that you and I had a normal friendship. But my body betrayed me and I was forced to accept that, indeed, I was becoming very gay for you.

You never really knew the real depth of my despair during those times. For someone as collected as I was, so blissfully cynical, wanting something so hungrily was tearing me apart. Liking you disgusted me to the point where I thought I'd drive myself crazy with my constant craving and revulsion.

I knew that what we were doing was wrong and not even remotely as healthy as we liked to pretend it was, but we were both addicted beyond repair, and we were both aware of it.

And then, you started being curious. You wanted to kiss me, and I refused because, no matter how I felt about you, as long as we kept things impersonal enough, I was sure I could keep my sanity in check. But you were relentless and never gave up on getting what you wanted. What you didn't know, though, was that you were already changing towards me without realizing it. With your wanting to kiss me, the very way you behaved changed – your touch, your voice, and the way you looked at me…

I knew you were feeling it – something deeper, growing between us and binding us – but you weren't aware of it. You thought that kissing me was no big deal, but I knew differently. I knew that kissing would add yet another level of emotion to our interactions, and I knew that, once we kissed, we wouldn't be able to go back ever again, and you'd finally know – about how I felt for you, and about how your own feelings for me weren't quite as detached as you thought.

Well, we did end up kissing. And we all know how that turned out and what it did for us from then on.

After everything, having you back in my life after so long feels like a distant dream coming true. You, who, for seventeen years, have been running away from me, finally came to me on your own accord.

I don't blame you from running way – I understand how heavy was the weight you were carrying by wanting to be with me but actually acknowledging that it was destroying us.

I don't forgive easily, but you are someone who will always have my forgiveness no matter what; not because you deserve it, but because I do. I deserve to finally find some inner peace. The past is harsh, and even though I don't regret a single second of it, I do want to lock it away somewhere safe and make room for new, better things.

As I stare up at the ceiling of your room – the one I ended up sleeping in – I am very aware of the warmth of your body resting next to mine and muse about how unique your presence feels when compared to all the other bodies that have slept next to me for the past seventeen years.

Last night was… special. We didn't kiss on the mouth, let alone have sex, but we did touch a lot, and kissed each other on many different places, so I can't say that it was bad at all. We both ended up topless, but apart from that, everything was pretty decent.

I can't say I'd mind if things had actually escalated, but we preferred to keep it simple, at least for now. I do want you back in my life with everything I have, even with Alice. I do like her, and it seems that she likes me, too. I don't want to force myself on her, and I definitely don't want to be a parental figure. But if I can, I hope I can at least make her understand how I feel about you and that I want be there for the both of you if you let me. Not only that, but I hope she can see me as a friend, and someone worthy of trust.

I sigh.

After you left, I thought my heart had become too tarnished to be able to love again. I had several partners, and occasionally, I'd settle for just one, but never with the intent of starting a relationship. Having someone always willing for sex was a welcomed convenience for a busy man like me.

No-one seemed able to rouse my interest like you did. You riled me up, pushed my buttons, brought out the worst and the best in me, and you knew me better than anyone else. And the sex was… it wasn't just the sex, it was everything a person could possible want in a partner – the chemistry, the intensity, the feeling… all of it was overwhelming. All of it was unique.

Most people don't find something like this, ever, not in a million lifetimes. Why settle for second best when you've had the best you could possibly have?

I was sceptical. Until he showed up.

Biting my lip, I place my hand over my heart, feeling the distinct pang of hurt there. It still baffles me the fact that, indeed, it still hurts. I still haven't healed. But who can blame me. Fate enjoys mocking me, torturing me. If this is some sort of divine signal, then yes, I'm getting the message loud and clear.

It didn't really have to be this way, though.

"You're awfully thoughtful for someone who just woke up."

I jerk a bit in surprise and look to the side to see you looking at me. You're lying on your side, one hand under your cheek. Your blue eyes look back and are sharp and attentive, letting me know you've been awake for a while.

"I was just reminiscing," I mutter, not able to muster up the will to smile. "Have you slept well?"

"Yeah," you say, offering me a tiny smile. "You?"

"Actually, yes."

We stare at each other for a few, silent seconds that aren't awkward. Waking up next to each is familiar and now a precious indulgence.

I like having you here. If you weren't here, I'm not sure how I'd be able to live through my own birthday.

Somehow, your presence feels like a gift bestowed upon me after all those years of emptiness and hurt.

I turn my head so I'm facing the ceiling again, but close my eyes, both my hands resting over my naked stomach, fingers linked. "Do you want to know about him?"

You tense for a second, but end up moving closer to me, your body not touching mine, but the proximity comfortable. "Of course," you say. I can tell there is hesitance in your voice, but also genuine curiosity, and I understand. I didn't like knowing about your marriage to Alice's mother, so I guess you can't be pleased by the prospect of knowing about the person who became my husband.

Taking a deep breath, I try to sort my own thoughts out, choosing my words carefully before beginning to tell my story – probably one of the very few you aren't involved in, peculiarly.

"About six years ago, Itachi called me to the office here in Japan in order for us to discuss a deal with a company we had been after for years," I start, making sure my voice is steady. "Father, Itachi and I always try to be present when something big happens in our business, and since. Apparently. a new heir had taken the reigns of that company, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to start a whole new state of affairs. So I came to Japan for the meeting and we all got to know the new leader. He was about my age, broody, very handsome but arrogant in ways I can't even begin to compare to. But he was also born to be in the position he was in. We didn't really hit it off all that well at first, and father and Itachi weren't exactly loving him either. However, his competence made up for it and we ended up getting the deal we wanted."

I open my eyes and take a few seconds to stop and once again ponder my own choice of upcoming words. You are silent, but I know you are listening intently.

"My mother's health wasn't the best at the time, so I stuck around Japan for a few weeks, scared that the worst might happen," I proceed, frowning at memory. "I wanted to be here for her. A few days after the meeting, my secretary told me his secretary had called saying he wanted to invite me to dinner for no apparent reason. I wasn't in the best of moods at the time, least of all for dinners. I was worried about my mother, my schedule was crazy and I was panicking about what might be happening to company in the UK without me there. So I told my secretary to tell his secretary that I was busy and that he could very well call me personally if he had something important to discuss. On the next day, he sent me a bouquet of flowers, apologizing and asking me, yet again, for dinner so we could properly get to know each other outside of business." I snort, shaking my head from side to side. "He got me fucking flowers, Naruto. I had no idea he was gay up until that point, but apparently he knew about me, so I knew exactly what 'getting to know each other' meant."

I sigh. "I basically ripped the fucking petals off the goddamned flowers and then sent the ruined bouquet back to him."

"Wow, that's kind of mean, even for you," you mutter softly, amused. "I mean, the guy didn't really seem to know how to even begin to approach you."

"Yeah, I know that now, but back then, I was just offended, I guess," I say, with a dismissive shrug. "Anyway, a few days later he showed up in my office and personally apologized for having offended me and asked me out, again. I didn't feel like indulging him, even though I did appreciate the fact that he had made the effort of coming to me on his own. I ended up accepting because we were business partners and his deal was something we couldn't afford to lose. I didn't even understand why he was so persistent, but I didn't care enough to ask. I'm more than used to people wanting to fuck me, so I just took it as him being one of them."

"So obnoxious," you tease, a smile gracing your voice.

"More like self-aware at this point," I correct. Biting my lip, I scratch my chest, feeling the pain returning slowly, like a distinct, persistent itch. "So we went out to dinner. He took me to my favourite restaurant where he had reservations for my favourite table. He also ordered my favourite wine. Later I'd find out that Itachi had given him the tips. I was rather impressed, to be honest, that he'd go so far to please me. But I told him, straight out, that he wasn't going to get anything out of me. He just smiled and said something like 'I have you here, sharing a meal with me, what more could I possibly want?'".

I take another deep breath. My lungs ache, my own breathing painful inside my chest as I scratch the skin over my heart harder. A hand wraps itself around my wrist, to stop it from scratching so thoroughly and I look at you. There's understanding at gentleness in your eyes, and it soothes me almost instantly. You're supporting your weight on your elbow now, your hand over mine rubbing my fingers carefully.

You nod encouragingly, and I lick at my dry lips. "We talked a lot," I continue, my voice raspier. "Since he was very well-bred and cultured, it was very easy to talk to him and I found myself engaged by his intelligent speech. He didn't really seem like he was trying to seduce me or anything, he was just being strangely polite for someone so obviously aware of his own superiority, but there was something in the casual way he addressed me that, to my own surprise, lured me to him. That and, of course, his looks. As I said, he was very handsome. Next thing I knew, I was a little drunk and we were on his apartment, making out. It had been a while since I had been with another person like that. More than that, it had been a while since I had felt so… carefree, I suppose. So I let go and the inevitable happened."

"You had sex," you predict, sounding casual.

I scan your features with my eyes to try and identify the emotion in them. You suck at masking your discomfort, and yet, you are stubbornly trying to look accepting and okay with it. The fact that I know you know I need to tell you this makes me feel safe and relieved.

"All night long," I confirm, with a small smirk that makes you roll your eyes at me. "It was pretty amazing, too. Or at least, a lot better than I had had in ages. We had good chemistry, so when he suggested that we see each other while I stayed in Japan, I agreed. Being with him made me think about what you had said the last time we were together, and I realized you were right: no one likes being alone, it's painful."

For some reason, you smile at this, looking endeared and self-proud. I snort again.

"Even if it had been all about fancy dinners, intellectual conversations and lots of good sex, I did feel… sad when my mother's health improved and I had to go back to the UK," I admit, covering your hand with mine. "Of course we'd be talking on the phone and we'd meet every two months or so when I had to fly to Japan, but it still felt bitter. Like me, he was usually a very collected person, but he looked shattered by my departure. Still, I left, unsure of whether we'd just be occasional sex buddies from then on or if it was over between us. As you guessed, he was very socially awkward and didn't really know how to express himself well unless he was very angry."

"A lot like you," you offer, teasingly.

I feel the smirk tugging harder at the corner of my mouth. "Indeed. I think two weeks or so passed after I'd gone back to the UK when he called me on my cell phone. He sounded distressed and terribly frustrated at himself, but ended up asking me if I was 'willing to take it further'. He blurted out a lot of senseless things about how he liked me and couldn't function properly thinking about me and about what it could've been and… I can't really recall it very well, he was kind of yelling at me and I got angry and yelled back that he was an idiot and all sorts of stupid stuff. I guess neither of us really did know how to properly admit that we wanted each other and had actually missed each other."

Heat fills my cheeks before I can stop it, so I turn my face to the opposite side so you don't see it. I want you to know what happened to me, I need you know that something in my life did make me happy after you and that, yes, I wasn't always miserable, and yet, I'm scared of hurting you by speaking about how I felt – still feel – about someone else.

But we are we, and there is no erasing how I feel about you. You are my Naruto and our relationship cannot be compared to anything else in the whole world and we both know it.

"You two wanted to be together," you say, and when I turn to look at you, I see you offering me a reassuring smile. I blink, thankful that you are able to read me so accurately. "You cared about each other."

I nod, staring at you intensely, looking for strength. "But I hadn't been in a relationship for a long time," I confess. "All I knew about relationships brought me back to you. I got scared and hesitant. I didn't want to go through it all again only to be disappointed. I didn't know how I'd deal with him when I knew I still had feelings for you. I didn't want us to hurt each other, and it terrified me that he was just as lost as I was. It all seemed so ridiculous all of a sudden, that two men reaching their forties were so unbalanced and inexperienced. But then he flew all the way to London to see me and talk to me about it. I told him about you; about us. He told me about how he had been in love with a guy who ran away with a woman the day they were supposed to be married. Somehow, it felt like we were both a fucking mess that needed fixing, but it wasn't like either of us knew how to even begin to do it. But it was obvious that we both wanted it. It was obvious that we had a connection, so we decided to start an easy-going relationship and see where it lead us. We decided that we would put an end to it as soon as something got out of hand.

"Our families were very accepting," I say, thinking back to my parents' encouragement at the time. "I guess they saw that I was happier than I had been in a long time, even if, sometimes, we only saw each other twice a month, and this was because we both forced ourselves to travel between Europe and Japan. But it was very good. Everything was just… so good. At some point, I forced myself to wonder if I really had serious feelings for him or if I was merely settling for something that, in a twisted way, offered me stability. That was until the day he told me he loved me and that he was thinking about opening another office in London so we could be together. That's when I realized our relationship wasn't a joke and that he was, in fact, very serious about me. And that's also when I realized that I wanted it all and that, somehow, I had fallen in love."

I swallow hard, frowning at you as pain strikes me again. You squeeze my hand and bite your lower lip. "It's okay," you mutter, gently, moving closer so that your forehead bumps against mine comfortingly. "I'm listening."

"I… I was devastated," I breathe, feeling my eyes burn all of a sudden, but your scent grounding me and preventing tears from forming. Telling this tale is harder than I thought it would be, and I have no idea why it's having this effect on me. "I thought I'd never love another person like that again. But how could I not, when I felt so wanted? When I had all the acceptance in the world?" I pause for a few seconds before continuing. "I had, with him, everything I didn't have with you, even if many things you and I had were lacking. But it wasn't like it mattered. He moved to England to be with me and I was very happy. We dated for three years before he asked me to marry him. After what he had gone through, I knew it was a big deal for him to put that kind of trust and faith in me. So I accepted, and we did get married. Of, course, we had our ups and downs. We both led separate lives when it came to work and sometimes it was really hard to really cope with the pressure of running a business and a relationship. But we managed. Sometimes, we both took a week off and we'd spend it doing mundane things families are supposed to do. In spite of everything, I felt like I had finally reached the peace and happiness I wanted."

I have to take a few seconds to compose myself. I feel my hands trembling and my eyes stinging even more, and even though I don't want to cry, I feel helpless to the feelings that seem to be overflowing without my consent.

You say something but I can't really understand. I feel your lips repeatedly against my temple, my forehead, caring and soft, soothing, so I grip your hand tighter.

"Last year, on July, he had to leave for Japan and I couldn't come with him because things were hectic in my office," I whispered, and yet, my voice still shook. I close my eyes again. "His… his birthday was on July as well, and we didn't get to spend it together. He was very busy, so I knew we wouldn't see each other for a while. On my birthday, he didn't even call and I was furious at him, and hurt, because he had never forgotten before. It was about 5p.m. that day when I called his office and his secretary said that he had taken his private jet to London and that he'd be there by the end of the day. Of course, I was beyond myself with joy that he had clearly planned on surprising me and…"

My voice fails me without my consent and I press my lips tight together.

"Sasuke…"

Your breath shakes against my face. Your lips tremble on my temple and I call feel fingers running through the hair at the top of my head. You sniff.

It figures that you'd be emotional over my misery, huh? As usual, you feel so deeply on my behalf, and I don't know if I want to stop talking altogether or if I want to let it all out.

As I said yesterday, after his death, I never talked about the story I shared with him, ever, and this is why. I feel like I'm going to be sick with all these feelings bottled up inside of me – sadness, pain, longing…

I do miss him. I have no idea what would happen to my relationship with you if he was still alive. Maybe we'd never get back together – maybe we'd never really patch things up again. Or maybe we would, eventually, end up being friends again – maybe the three of us would. He was always telling me that I should go see you, make amends and start over.

For many reasons, I wish he was still alive.

"He died on that plane… didn't he?" You ask, lifting your head up to look at me, and I just know you are crying. "On your birthday…"

When I open my eyes, my vision is watery and I instantly feel tears rolling down the sides of my face.

Shit.

I quickly wipe at them with my wrist, frustrated at myself. Why is this happening now? It's been months since I last cried for him.

However… now I know I have you, Naruto, but back then, I lost the only person I was able to care for in the same way I cared for you. I thought I'd be alone again, lost again. I thought I definitely wouldn't survive this time – I thought that, somehow, the gods thought I wasn't worthy of being happy.

But I can't tell you this right now. I can't even speak anymore. I know it's all over, all behind me. I know I'm safe and that you're here. But at this very moment, my heart can only remember the anguish I felt back then and I can only wipe at my eyes angrily, uselessly trying to stop the tears from falling so helplessly.

"It's okay," you whisper again, your voice shaking uncontrollably. "I'm here. It's okay to cry, Sasuke… don't be afraid."

Vaguely I feel you moving to straddle my waist, your gentle hands grabbing my wrists and carefully removing my fists from my eyes, pressing them to my chest.

I release a muffled hiccup and look at your blurry figure without really seeing your face. You lean down and distribute small, loving kisses all over my face, and your lips are wet, your tears shower me and get mixed up with mine. I feel like a lost child, and yet, this anguish is welcomed and relieving beyond words.

"I know… you love him," you mumble, releasing my wrists and supporting your weight with both hands on my pillow on either side of my head, pressing your forehead against mine in sympathy, but not in pity. You sniffle again a few times, and like me, you hiccup, unable to formulate words properly.

"I know that… it must hurt. I'm so… sorry… Sasuke… that it had to be like this. You don't deserve it. And I'm jealous that you… felt this way for… someone else." You lean back for a while, and I blink up at you, still unable to see your face properly. I'm panting, my eyes are swollen and still overflowing but I can see the trace of a genuine smile that I'm sure is beautiful. "And I'm… really happy that you had someone to… love you so much. Someone by your side… I'm glad you had something this good in your life. I'm so thankful to…" You release a choked chuckle. "Fuck, I don't even know his name…"

"Neji…" I retort, my voice cracking so much I would definitely feel humiliated if it wasn't you with me right now.

I see you nodding. "Neji…" you say, as if the name itself is precious to you in some way. "You were both… lucky to have each other. I wish I had met him."

I bite hard on my lower lip and forget how to breathe. I don't know if I'm hurting anymore or if I'm just happy that you understand it all so perfectly.

I love you. That's all I know. Sometimes, I forgot why, exactly, I loved you in the past, but right now, I know exactly why.

Because of this. I still don't know what this is, but it's better than anything else in the world. It's a light that pushes my darkness away and I'm just so fucking happy that you're here with me I don't know what to do about it. You know I love Neji, too, but you accept it, just as he accepted my undying feelings for you.

If I could, I think I would've liked to have you both. But he's no longer here, and you are. In the end, I think this is what was meant to happen and how it was meant to be.

Somehow, the thought is reassuring.

Don't ever leave, Naruto. I want to tell these things to you, but I can't. I just can't. Suddenly, it all seems too much and not soon enough. I feel stupidly vulnerable.

I want to scream, to howl. I don't know what to do with everything I'm feeling, but I can't seem to do any of that either. It's not just Neji, it's everything that's happened in these last seventeen years.

So I simply reach out to hold your face in my hands and pull you down, your body offering no resistance. I tilt my head back and part my lips, so when yours fall over mine I'm ready, but not exactly prepared for the shock that remembrance provides.

Your mouth is wet, but warm and familiar. Our lips brush against each other at first, easily and without hesitance. You shiver and I all but moan. My tongue darts out to touch yours and that's all it takes for you to press our mouths harder together, in a frenzy that is more passionate than it is hungry. You taste salty from both our tears, but I don't care – this is too good. I thought I had missed this, but only now that I'm feeling it again do I understand just how much I craved the simple act of kissing you. You convey so much, Naruto, just from one kiss, that it overwhelms me.

Our tongues meet repeatedly, heads tilting to opposite sides for more access. I surround your neck with my arms and you let your body fall on top of mine, and the feeling is blissful.

This is what it was all about, from the very beginning. You and me. Something not even we understand all that well but that it's unavoidable – it's part of ourselves.

You can't deny who you are, or what you're supposed to be doing with your life. You can't deny what you want. If things go wrong, you can only work hard in order to make them right. There's nothing that can't be fixed if we want it. We still have a lot to handle, but I know it'll be alright. Now I know it.

I know this was what I've been waiting for, even since the day you left. It was a long wait, but it was worth it. Everything concerning you will always be worth it.

It doesn't scare me anymore. I'm not scared of the way we feel. I'm not scared of failing. What else is there to fuck up, anyway?

"I love you…" you say in between kisses, against my panting mouth. "I love you so much… Sasuke…"

In the end, I guess I'm just terribly lucky, right? I am exactly where I want to be.

Naruto's POV

The Uchiha house is flaring with life and filled with lots of loud, dark-haired people. I love it. Not all of them are filthy rich, but they're all very well-mannered and surprisingly friendly. Many of them came to help getting things ready for your birthday, women cooking things in advance, men and kids doing the decorations and getting the main garden ready for the day's activities. Everybody is very lively and actually quite simple, and I feel at ease.

I helped around as much as I could and got to meet the whole family. Everybody seems to know about us, and yet, instead of being reproachful, they all seem happy that we have, finally settled things between us.

I suspect the family already knows that we're on our way to getting back together. Itachi just keeps throwing these knowing looks whenever we're on the same place together – his smile is disgustingly perceptive – and your father has decided to start calling me 'son'. I can't even tell you how grateful I am that I didn't cancel my flight here.

Alice knows something has happened between us, too. She's too smart, my little girl.

"You look… lighter," she said, with a relieved smile. "Happier, too."

And I guess I really am.

She hasn't asked questions, which I appreciate. She tries to stay away whenever you and I are alone together, but at the same time, she's constantly trying to be close to you whenever she has the chance. You are surprisingly patient, too.

I don't want to be too hopeful, though. One day at the time, no pressure. I know we love each other, but that was never enough, and I doubt it'll be unless we take baby steps, even at this age. But at least now I know you want to belong to me, so I know that, even if it might take a while for it to happen, you will become my lover once more.

I'm happy. I know we'll have a hard time with our schedules. I know it'll take time for you to be fully comfortable around my Alice. I know we have a lot of work to do. But now, I know we'll manage; we'll make it work.

For the past two days we've slept side by side and it's been really good. We've been talking a lot and just basically hanging out, killing the loneliness and making up for all those years we spent without each other.

I'm so glad you're having a big, beautiful party in your honour, surrounded by all these people who cherish you. It feels like the start of a new era. And you deserve it.

I'm happy that you told me about Neji, your husband. You needed to talk about it, too, to let it all out and to remember him exactly as he was, and exactly how much you loved him and how you were happy by his side.

He was the one who changed you. He was the one who made it possible for you to return to me, and for your heart to be ready for the concept of 'us'. For that, I will forever appreciate him, even without knowing him. I could never resent him.

I want today to be a day of changes – a day you can remember as one of joy and not one of sadness and mourning, even if you will forever remember that this was the day he died.

Your birthday party is grand. Lots of people have come – business partners, friends of your family, celebrities… There's lots of good food and Itachi has managed to bring some Japanese band you apparently like to play for you.

As usual, you are the perfect host, handsome and poised, distantly polite, but charming nonetheless. All eyes are on you, of course. You're beautiful.

You introduce me and Alice to everyone who cares to know us, and while you don't openly tell them who I am, you don't hide it, either.

When Alice gets bored off all the introductions and decided to leave us alone to go dance with your uncle Kagami, you make sure to introduce me to a gorgeous woman with long, dark hair and eyes that have such a light shade of grey they look like pearls.

"Naruto, this is Hyuuga Hinata," you say, offering a small, but honest smile at her, who smiles fondly back. "She's Neji's cousin, and the current CEO of the family company. She's been a good friend."

Hinata flashes an adorable smile at me and extends a hand, which I shake, a little baffled. We bow to each other.

"Sasuke-san used to talk a lot about you," she says politely in correct American accent, perfect teeth showing. "Neji-nii-san truly wanted to meet you. It's a pleasure, Uzumaki-san."

"Ah, the pleasure is all mine," I babble, scratching the back of my head in awe and embarrassment. "I wish I could've met him, too. He had to be hot if he looked anything like you!"

You elbow me roughly, but Hinata laughs, blushing a little. "Well, thank you. I suppose we did look alike a little…"

"Neji was… good-looking," you mumble in agreement, and I'm glad that you look more endeared than pained while talking about him out loud.

"Maa, don't be modest, you can say that he was friggin' hot!" I tease, poking you on the ribs and making you frown, lips pursed together to stop yourself from smiling. "He was your husband, you can say stuff like that!"

"Stop being childish, moron," you reply, slapping my hand away.

Hinata smiles, eyes darting from me to you, looking sincerely pleased. "Would you like to see a picture of him?" She asks. "Of Neji-nii-san, I mean."

My eyebrows shoot upwards. "Of course!"

Hinata apparently carries a picture of Neji inside her purse, because she quickly fishes it out from her wallet and passes it to me. It's a picture of her, you and him at some fancy gala event. It was taken by someone while you were sitting at a large table, but the three of you were smiling, clearly having fun.

Neji was, indeed, a very handsome character, with light eyes just like Hinata's and long, dark brown hair. There is an air of superiority to him that is very proud, but it's visible that he was intelligent. The strange softness in his correct features lets me know he had a good heart. Bruised, but good. You look good together. It makes me bitter, yet thankful that he was there when you were able to smile like that.

"He was very precious to me," Hinata admits, her eyes softening. "He had… a strong personality, so we didn't always get along, but it was thanks to him that I managed to prove myself to my father. It was thanks to his faith on me that I was able to grow up to be who I am today, as a person, and as a CEO in my family's company." She sighs, the action giving her an air of a sweet child. You look at her, affection evident in your eyes, and she looks back at you with similar emotion. "Sasuke-san's appearance in his life was like a blessing. It was the first time I saw him actually obsessing over something other than work. It was good seeing him finally giving priority to something other than the company. He actually learned how to put Sasuke-san's happiness, and his own, I believe, in front of everything else."

Hearing those words from her only makes me ache more for you, Sasuke. You swallow hard and give her an appreciative, but saddened look. I want to touch you, but notice that you and Hinata are holding hands, sharing something I know I will never truly understand.

"The three of us spent some good times together, though!" Hinata said, now jovially, looking back at me and smiling. "I was always pretty lonesome, so they really put up with me so many times it's actually embarrassing!"

"Please, you were pretty easy to have around," you say, truthfully. "Probably the only woman apart from my mother I could stand."

The three of us talk for a while, and I eagerly listen to every tale you and Hinata share with me. It's clear that the two of you have a bond, and it's wonderful to see. I'm not jealous at all right now, just happy for you.

I'm so proud of you, Sasuke. Of how far you've come, not because of your family's influence, but by your hard work. Of your strength, of your ability to fight, to hold on, to endure – of your ability to stand tall and never give up. It's because I know you're like this that I always looked up to you. It's because I've always admired your unfaltering determination that I was able to be who I am today.

I always wanted to be like you. Without even knowing, you taught me many things.

By no means are you perfect, but then again, neither am I. But we made each other, and even though the process was long and painful, it was also wonderful and it brought us here, to where we are today.

It's your ability to love so unconditionally that allowed us to finally see each other like we should have, all those years ago.

It's the end of the day and the sun is setting over the garden. A lot of people have left already, but the whole family is still around, eating and drinking, talking and laughing and it's wonderful. I just spotted your dad flirting with your mom, and I'm sure they're both a little tipsy. It's still beautiful to see. Those two have been through a lot, as well, but here they are – a strong couple, wealthy and united. It's thanks to those two that I have you.

Not too far from the bench I'm sitting on, I can see you having fun with Itachi, Toshi, Alice and some relative of yours I know is called Shisui, your brother's best friend. The five of you are playing with firecrackers. Alice is beyond herself with excitement, and I know she's already very attached to your family – she feels like home.

She and Toshi seem to have become friends rather quickly. I wish Toshi's mother was here since it's been years since I last talked to her. I don't think she ever forgave me for claiming my ownership on you, but when I left, it was the last straw and she never spoke to me again. We had been good friends, but I guess I blew it, or maybe she was the one who took the chance to finally kick me out of her life.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, tilting my head back and feeling relaxed by the flowery scents around me.

You told me you never forgave her for divorcing Itachi. She wanted you, but since you didn't want her, she went for second best. They had Toshi and everything, but in the end, Itachi wasn't you. I'm not sure how heartbroken he was, but I'm glad he managed to keep Toshi. You said she didn't really fight for his custody since she lived for work and didn't really have time to be a proper mother, anyway.

I have to admit that I'm disappointed at her.

It's unfortunate, Sasuke, how, because of us, so many things have gotten out of hand. I miss Sakura, but I guess I can't cry over spilled milk, anyway. It's all behind us, and I guess we're all better off this way.

"You look pretty lonely, sitting here all by yourself," your soft voice says, and I open my eyes to see you standing in front of me, a small smile gracing your beautiful mouth.

I grin. "Nah, I was just chilling," I say, with a shrug. "And thinking about things while enjoying some peace and quiet. You guys seemed to be having fun."

"We were." Behind you, Alice is waving energetically at me, and I wave back. "Although, you enjoying the peace and quiet sounds alien to me."

"Shut up," I retort, punching your stomach lightly.

You reach out a hand and run your fingers casually over my hair, making me heave a sigh, content at how good and simple it feels.

"Remember that I said I wanted you to do something with me?" Your voice is soft, intimate.

I look up at you and nod. "Yeah."

"Let's do it now."

You offer me your hand and I don't hesitate in taking it, allowing you to pull me up. Automatically, we intertwine our fingers and I let myself be guided by you away from the party.

000

You take me to the far end of the gigantic garden and we stop underneath a big, healthy Sakura tree, with its tiny pink flowers in full bloom. It's like a scene from a movie, and I gawk at it. The scent coming from the flowers is absolutely enticing.

Elegantly, you kneel down on the grass next to the trunk and motion for me to kneel down in front of you, which I do. I look up, fascinated by the way beautiful, thin branches of flowers dangled over our heads and around us, swaying lightly in the breeze. Night would come soon.

I can barely hear the party from here.

"Would you help me dig a hole?" You ask simply, and even though the request is weird, I make an agreeing sound with the back of my throat.

"Okay. How big do you want it?"

"Not very." Your fingers begin to work the ground, scrapping a bit of grass on the surface and them digging down on the dirt. "I'll tell you when to stop."

Without questioning him, I move to help. Our fingers touch several times, but we work in silence for a couple of minutes or so. It feels eerie to touch the nature like this with you, and in such a place. I feel like a kid, and doing this brings back childhood memories. Somehow, it feels like we're doing something deeply meaningful.

"I think this is enough," you mutter at some point, not bothered by the dirt covering your hands and nails. Then, you shove your hand inside your left pocket and take something out. Extending it to me, dirty palm turned upwards, I lean over to see what it is and my breath catches instantly.

"How… how do you still have this?" I breathe, disbelievingly. "I thought I'd lost it."

"You forgot it on your nightstand the day you left," you explain. "Many times I thought about getting rid of them, but somehow, I couldn't."

Darkened and aged by time, in you palm rests two simple silver rings – the commitment rings we had worn since we were eighteen.

Seeing them makes my heart painfully tight, but for a change, the tightness feels good.

"I can't believe you kept them," I whisper, reaching out to touch my index finger to them.

You take a deep breath. "I want to bury them," you confess, sounding tired. "They're heavy. They symbolize good moments between us, but they're also witness of things we shouldn't have said and done. I feel like we should do it together, since we're starting over. This could be our beginning."

I look at you, unable to express how this makes me feel. My eyes water and I bite my lip hard, smiling. "Okay." I know by heart which one is mine and which one is yours – mine is the larger size. "Not like they'd fit anymore, anyway."

I pick up your ring and let it fall inside the small hole in the ground. My ring soon follows. Then, you reach behind your head and unbuckle the chain around your neck – the one carrying your wedding ring – and drop both on the hole. My eyes don't leave you as you watch the three rings in solemn silence before heaving a long sigh as if relieved.

Together, we cover the hole back with dirt, occasionally sharing looks and smiles. Weirdly enough, it does feel like a huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders.

Once we're done, I grab both your hands in mine. At the same time, we lean forward and kiss, and it's slow, caring but meaningful – a perfect, familiar synchronization or mouths and the slide of tongues, and I know that, no matter what you say, to me, all our kisses are special and unique.

It feels like some sort of commitment ritual between just the two of. I know that, at this stage, this is as close to a marriage we'll ever get, and it's alright. We don't need rings or fancy ceremonies.

"I love you," you mutter against my lips, and I shiver, unable to cope with the raw honesty in your words, so I kiss you harder.

Things are different now than they were back then. It's not just about us anymore, but it's okay. I can live with that. I can live with anything as long as I have you. It was my fault – I was the wrong one, not wanting to accept that this is what I truly wanted. But right here, next to you, is where I belong. This is where I want to be until the day I die. Now, it's about us and all the people that we can say are by our side, cheering us on.

How much better can life get, huh?

We will still fight, but I'll never make you cry again unless it's tears of joy or laughter. You will give me your everything, as I will give you mine. We'll be the family we were supposed to be long ago.

No regrets. Now I know it was all worth it.

Because we can't choose who we love, and we can't fight against what was always meant to be from the very start.

So thank you, Sasuke, for waiting for me. Thank you for everything. Thank you for your love. I love you, too.

And don't ever let go. No matter what, don't ever give up on me.

Somehow, I know you won't.

The End

OMG guys! It's over! I can't believe it… after so long, this is it.

I hope you liked this ending. I really do, because, somehow, it's exactly as I always thought it would be.

I'm sorry about the lack of smut, but this story is so rough on the heart that, somehow, adding smut would've felt misplaced.

I'm feeling a little emotional right now.

Thank you to all of you who supported me and eagerly wanted to see this finished. Thank you for loving this and for respecting my vision of their seemingly doomed to fail love. This story is very special to me. I'm sorry if it made you cry, but in the end, happiness really won, and that's all that matters.

If you felt deeply for this, then I know I managed to accomplish what I wanted with this plot.

I will miss these two.

Also, I feel like I should let you know that this story was nominated for three categories for The Naruto and Sasuke Awards. I was nominated for other stories as well, but there I'm under my Y!Gallery name DebbieSilver. The link to all the nominated stories and art is on my profile page

Please do read the fics on that list, all of them are really good. Voting poll will open up in a few weeks, hopefully.

I have no idea of who nominated me, but thank you so much! I feel very flattered!

Also, I'd like to reply to the comment GUEST has done for this chapter. I'm not sure if she/he will read this, but anyway, I'm sure it might explain a few things to you guys as well:

Thank you, for reading! I know what you mean… I, for one, have been wanting to give these two some peace of mind ever since 'Not Enough', so I understand how my readers feel when reading the first instalments. This part wasn't exactly light emotionally-wise, but at least it did have a more hopeful tone to it, as opposed to the painful, insecure longing we could see in the other stories.

I'm glad that you were able to see things the way I did. Naruto isn't the bad guy, but he was very cruel with Sasuke because he was being selfish and thinking about his own pain, his own feelings as opposed to Sasuke's. In this part of the story, Naruto is finally able to understand where they both went wrong, not only with each other, but also with their friends and family. He was so scared that they might not accept him when, in the end, Sasuke's parents just wanted what was best for both of them, and even they were able to learn from their own mistakes.

I think that, more than Naruto, Sasuke needed to change. Because Naruto loves easily, but Sasuke doesn't. Sasuke was just settling for what he thought was his destiny – to love Naruto forever and be alone because of that, because no-one would be able to love him the same way and make him feel the same way. By being loved by Neji and loving him back, he was actually able to heal and find hope for himself and his future.

About Sakura. Well, you're right, I'm strongly against character bashing, let alone Sakura bashing. I actually like her, just not as a love interest of either Sasuke or Naruto. I understand how you might find the part about Sakura unnecessary, and it may be so, but I guess I just wanted to explain why Toshi's mother wasn't around without saying that she was dead or something like that. So I just added a little bit of story to explain where she is. Yes, she comes off as a little bit of a bitch, but it's nothing personal, really. I just wanted to explain everything because someone was curious as to where Toshi's mother was.

Also, notice that Naruto is telling the story that Sasuke himself told him. Sasuke is the one who has a bad image of Sakura, but that has started ever since she dumped Naruto's friendship after they broke up – something Sasuke was probably pissed off about. So I guess that, in many ways, Sasuke himself has a bad general vision of her, but by no means does that mean Sakura is a bad mother, absent or not. After all, she is in Europe and Itachi and Toshi are in Japan. Maybe things didn't really happen the way Sasuke says they did, and maybe Sasuke doesn't even know the whole story behind Itachi and Sakura's marriage and just makes his own assumptions on Itachi's behalf, because that's his role as a brother.

So, don't take this as Sakura bashing, because it's not. It's just a means to an end in the story, unnecessary or not. It's just a paragraph ;)

Thank you for reading and for leaving such a thoughtful comment. Enjoying 99% of this fic is already more than I could ever have asked for!

See ya next time!

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