Chapter 1
Ghosts of The Past
The sky was foretelling it – a storm was coming. The grey clouds were looming over the city, and the chilly autumnal wind swirled around the many commuters, most of them too caught up in their little routines to appreciate the silent beauty of the stormy sky. Niles, unlike them, did cherish it; so much so that he was stood outside the family car, leaning against the driver's door and staring into the sky. His eyes might have been focused in the sky, but his thoughts were dancing around another storm entirely – a human storm, to be more precise.
A human storm named C.C. Babcock.
He had taken to calling Miss Babcock a storm because her memory – the memory that she was not there with him – had the same destructive force as the most vicious tempest.
Niles could scarcely believe it had been six years since he had last seen her. Six torturously long Babcockless years.
Six years which he'd basically spent thinking about her on every waking moment. Six years of wondering why she had suddenly stopped writing to him. Six years of dreading that she had forgotten about him and moved on with her life.
Six years of a waiting that, at times, felt eternal.
Had it really been that long, though? It sometimes didn't feel like it.
He still remembered the afternoon when he had helped her pack for her trip as if it had been yesterday – and part of him wished it had been yesterday!
That had been the last time he had ever seen her, and their goodbye had felt... unfairly brief.
There had been so many things that he had wanted to tell her! So many things he knew had been left unsaid. So many things that he'd kept to himself in fears of tampering with an equilibrium that he hadn't realised had already been jeopardised.
That afternoon had been uncharted territory – a limbo where neither of them had know by what rules to play. Unknowingly, he'd allowed his chance to open up his heart to slip through his fingers, and this haunted him.
He hadn't been brave enough to ask her to stay. And now she was gone.
And he was still here.
Wondering. Dreaming. Hoping.
Hoping that someday, perhaps, she'd reappear, and then he'd have the opportunity to tell her just how much he loved her and how sorry he was for everything that had happened between them. Especially for her mental breakdown.
The latter had become an unbearably heavy cross to bear, if he was being honest.
He needed to talk to her… he needed to say that he was sorry. The guilt was still gnawing at him, eating up the happiness in his life, even after all these years. Granted, the twins had brought some much needed joy ito his life, but it wasn't nearly enough.
Nothing but seeing her again would be enough.
But, as the years had gone past, he had learnt that he simply couldn't afford to dwell in those gloomy musings; he'd had to find a way to somehow go on – a purpose that would give his vapid life some meaning...
Luckily for him, that purpose had come in the shape of two young children.
Caring for Eve and Jonah were one of the few things that had kept him going. Ever since they were babies, Niles had been appointed as their caretaker when Mr and Mrs Sheffield couldn't attend to them, and one of his many duties, for example, was picking them up from school.
That hear, the pair of five-year-olds had begun attending one of the most exclusive kindergartens in New York, and Niles thoroughly enjoyed being able to pick them up after school or giving them a snack and helping them with their homework. It was a nice distraction...
It kept his mind from stubbornness wandering towards the blonde producer.
And, when all was said and done, seeing those two little faces smiling up at him had become rewarding.
But at the same time, it was somewhat bittersweet. He loved those two little children, but he was still just a butler. He was still stuck in the same place as before – he got to see the children grow, helped shape them into fine adults, but he was still just part of the staff. Not part of the family.
That was what probably hurt him the most – his lack of a family of hiw own.
Some days, when his longing got the best of him, he liked to imagine how it would have been like to form a family with C.C.. He liked to imagine how it would have been like to marry her, or the thrill of the first positive pregnancy test. He liked to imagine holding their child for the first time or the beauty of seeing them grow and hearing them calling them Mommy and Daddy…
But all that he had left of her, were his memories, and they felt like empty shells – ghosts of something that he wished he could have with him. Ghosts of her skin, her eyes, her smell… her voice.
That's probably what he missed the most – her voice. He'd give anything to hear her sultry laugh or her trademark "Hello Hello" one more time. He'd give anything to hear…
The distant sound of the bell ringing.
The shrilling sound brought him out of his daydream and his eyes travelled to the opening doors of the twins' kindergarten. He took a deep, calming breath and tried to muster a smile as he awaited for the youngest Sheffields to come. He looked around, observing the crowd of parents and nannies that surrounded him.
He rarely paid attention to the horde of adults that, just like him, waited for their respective charges to come out of school. For some reason, that day his mind found it interesting – there were nannies in their uniforms; gossiping mothers dressed in smart suits or fancy dresses; and occasionally one or two fathers, focused in their important phone calls. The typical sight outside a high-class school.
Finally, the teachers began letting the children out and Niles approached the entrance to receive Eve and Jonah. He seldom did that, but he'd rather be closer in case the storm began. He observed the many children running to their parents or caretakers, his eyes scanning the crowd for the two Sheffields (carbon copies of Fran and Maxwell, in his opinion). But suddenly… suddenly his eyes noticed a very peculiar girl crossing the door.
He almost subconsciously fastened his pace towards the door to get a better look of the child, his heart practically thumping against his chest. But how could it… it surely was his mind playing tricks on him?
It couldn't be that the young child standing before him was so incredibly similar to C.C.! And it certainly couldn't be that said child was running towards a tall, blonde woman who was waiting for her with her arms wide open.
"Mommy!" the girl screamed and jumped into the older woman's arms – C.C.'s arms.
"Hello, Little One!" she replied. "Mommy left her job early so I could come get you!"
It couldn't be.
She was back. Had been back for a long time, clearly, if she'd been able to enrol her...little girl...in a prestigious place like this one! It was the place all the richest children in the city went. Children needed to have their name down from birth to stand a chance of getting in!
She'd been in the same city as him for all this time, and he'd never known it. A pain shot through his heart. She clearly hadn't wanted him to know it. She'd obviously met someone else on her travels, gone off with him, married, and had this child...
He bitterly thought about the father. No doubt some rich hunk of a businessman, with his own place to live and a six or seven-figure salary...
No wonder he'd been pushed out. A butler with no prospects could hardly compete.
But while she was still there, hugging her little girl and gently swaying, at least he could look. Pretend that they'd had the chance.
Suddenly, something solid – two somethings – hit him as they collided with his legs, hugging.
"Niles!" the twins shrieked, and he beamed down at them.
"Hello, you two!" he boomed, making a show that he was pleased to see them, and that there was nothing wrong. Because every now and then, lying to children couldn't be the worst thing. Telling them the truth would be far worse. "Did you have a good day?"
He was still watching her as much as he could without looking away from them for too long. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her look up. Gasp. Put her down and crouch to speak to her.
What was going to happen? Was she going to make a run for it with her daughter, before he could stop and talk to her?
He couldn't allow that, not after it had been so long...
Instead, he quickly crouched down and looked at Master Jonah and Miss Eve, pointing towards the play area over to one side of the school building, "Tell you what, you two; I have something to do very quickly. Why don't the pair of you go and play for a while? I'll be keeping an eye out, but don't leave until I come and get you. Alright?"
The twins shrieked excitedly and nodded. As long as they were allowed to play, then they would behave, just like Niles had asked.
"Yes we will, Niles!" the twins responded in unison.
"Excellent. Off you go, then," he ushered them towards the play area and watched them until they were playing in the swings.
He then turned towards where C.C. and her daughter stood, feeling his chest growing tighter. The tall woman was just like he remembered her, only now she looked... happier.
And how couldn't she be happy? He thought bitterly; she had gotten married, had a child and was living the life she had always wanted. And he... what had he done? He was still a lonely butler, working in the same house, for the same family and pining after the same woman. A woman that, clearly, would never be his.
The crowd of parents and children had cleared up a bit, so he could see her more clearly. She was wearing an elegant black, Gucci dress; it was cut to the waist so it favoured her hourglass figure, and she was wearing a white parka on top of it to shield her from the autumnal winds.
She was busy getting her daughter into her own coat – the child didn't seem to want to put it on and she was clearly in a hurry to get out of there.
"But Mommy, I don't wanna put it on!" Amelia protested as her mother zipped up her jacket.
"And I don't care," the former producer replied sternly. "We wouldn't want you to catch a cold now would we? Who would take care of you if you got sick?"
The girl smiled and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "You would, Mommy! Like you always take care of me when I get sick! It's like you say – it's just the both of us."
C.C. couldn't help the smile spreading across her features. She scooped her child in her arms and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I know, honey. And I love you very, very much."
"I love you too, Mommy," the little girl replied, hugging her mother tighter around her neck.
"I know, sweetie," C.C. stroked her daughter's hair, before pulling away to look her in the eyes. "But we've gotta go now, okay?"
Niles heard this all on his walk over. He couldn't help but be intrigued by what the little girl had said, and it made him pick up speed, like something inside him had become more eager when it had heard.
She'd said "just the both of us".
Did that mean the father wasn't around? The closer he got, the more clearly he could see that the blonde wasn't actually wearing a wedding ring. Had she been married but divorced? It was very quick for her if so. Had it simply been a relationship? Had he abandoned them? What fool would give up an absolute dream?
He had so many questions, and no right to any of the answers.
But that wasn't going to stop him from talking to her. Luckily, they still hadn't moved by the time he'd made his way over, and cleared his throat.
C.C. looked up at him. He couldn't tell if she was nervous, displeased, angry...maybe it was all of those things. He knew he was definitely the first one. It had been so long, and he wasn't quite sure how to start...
Neither of them appeared to be as they continued to stare at each other...
But the child had looked up, too, "Mommy, who's that?"
This snapped C.C. out of her thoughts, and she looked at her daughter, "Uh...Amelia, sweetie, why don't you go over to the play park, and I'll come and get you when I'm done here?"
Amelia let go of her mother, but still looked at her questioningly, "Why...?"
"Because Mommy has to have a talk with..." she looked up at him, and then back at the little girl, "an old friend, and it'll be very boring for kids, and it might take a long time."
"Then why don't we invite him home?" the child offered. "If it's gonna take a long time and he is your friend you can invite him home!"
If the butler hadn't been so wondered by C.C. actually having called him friend, he would be thanking God for the child's suggestion. It had been so long since he had last seen her... the only thing he wanted was to sit down together, talk things out and beg to be accepted back into her life.
And speaking of her life, it had clearly changed... he had never seen the former producer being so nice to a child in all his life! But judging by what he could see, C.C. Babcock was a loving and caring mother.
"Uh... sweetie, I don't know. My... friend Niles has things to do and he has to take the Sheffield twins home," C.C. said. She almost smiled when she saw Niles' surprise at her knowing who the twins were – honestly, even if they weren't carbon copies of Maxwell and Nanny Fine, Eve's voice alone was enough to give their parentage away.
"They could come home too! They are in my class! Can they come play with me, Mommy?"
C.C. sighed. She couldn't deny her anything – much less when she looked up at her with those beautiful blue eyes that reminded her of the man stood right in front of her. They had to talk now, she knew it, but it would also mean they'd have to open a can of worms and some deep, old wounds.
"Alright," she eventually said. "I'll ask my friend if he can come," C.C. then looked over at Niles. "So… uh... as my daughter suggested, would you like to come over to my mansion? It's just six blocks away from the Sheffield's."
Niles glanced over his shoulder, back towards where the twins were playing. Jonah was busy taking turns on the slide, and Eve was sat on a swing, kicking her legs out to try and launch herself higher.
Their parents would be out for a little while, maybe an hour or two...that would surely be enough time to at least get the ball rolling? He did so want to try and be a part of her life again, even if it wasn't in the way he so desperately hoped.
And then, when she'd either told him that they could start to be friends again, or kicked him out of her life for good, he could take the twins home to their parents, who may or may not come back before they did.
As long as they were with him they were safe, after all. That was the main thing.
Taking a breath in, he nodded, "I'd like that. Very much."
C.C. chanced a smile at him, "Good!"
She leaned over to talk to Amelia, placing her hands on her legs as she did.
"Sweetie, why don't you go over and tell them that they're coming with all of us, hm?"
"Okay, Mommy!" the little girl scurried across the playground, leaving the two adults alone for the first time in years.
Alone, and without the faintest idea of what to say.
She avoided looking at him and kept her gaze firmly on the ground. She had so much explaining to do... and part of her didn't really want to.
They would have to talk about why she had left, about why she had come back... and about Amelia – more specifically, about how Amelia was conceived. Although she had tackled her fears of Amelia not being accepted due to her status as a single mother, it was still a topic that she'd rather not talk about. Mainly because she felt like she had failed Amelia by not giving her a father.
A father that she had desperately wanted to be Niles.
After many long and emotionally draining talks with Dr Bort, C.C. had come to the conclusion that Patrick was merely a placeholder – a substitute for the man she'd truly wanted. C.C. was glad that her girl looked like her, but her favourite thing about Amelia (apart from the fact that she was her utterly adorable baby gilr) were her eyes – Niles' eyes.
And speaking of Niles, the butler was the first to speak and break the uncomfortable silence they were in.
"Uh... so... how have you been?"
Discomfort and awkwardness were dripping from his words, but C.C. was thankful for him beginning the conversation again. As she looked up at him, she noticed he was fiddling with his hands, a clear sign of distress.
She smiled in an attempt to diffuse the tense atmosphere. "I've been... fine. Very busy too. I've been working with my father and, well, being a full-time mother. It can be tiring at times, but she's worth it, you know?" she looked over at her girl, who was giggling and squealing in delight with Jonah and Eve. "She's five now."
"Yes...very energetic age," he replied carefully, nodding. "The Sheffield twins...Master Jonah and Miss Eve, they just turned five as well."
"Such a handful, that they need all the help they can get, I imagine," C.C. remarked, her eyes not leaving her daughter and the two other children.
Niles nodded again, agreeing, "Indeed. But I'm more than happy to provide all the assistance I can manage."
Lucky them, C.C. thought to herself. She very nearly said it out loud, but felt that might be stepping over a line. It very nearly implied something far too close to what something in her mind was screaming to ask. Something she knew she couldn't yet say, even if through a lot of therapy, she had been able to admit it to herself.
Fortunately, Niles carried on the conversation before the silence became too long, "I do enjoy having younger children around the mansion again. It reminds me of when the eldest three were small. And of course, it keeps this old man on his toes, which is rarely a bad thing."
He hoped she appreciated what he was trying to do. He was dropping hints that being around young children didn't make him uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted was for her to say that he couldn't be a part of her life again because he wasn't going to get on with her daughter. From what he'd seen, the girl appeared delightful, so he doubted that would be the case, but the fear was still very much present.
Speaking of which, she and the Sheffield twins were fast approaching, all three skidding to a giggly halt in front of them.
"Amelia said we're all going to her house!" Eve piped up.
Niles smiled down at her and her brother, "Indeed we are, Miss Eve. Just for a while, though. And then we'll go home. Are you all ready?"
"Yes!" the three children squealed and dashed to their respective cars.
Funnily enough, Niles had unknowingly parked right behind C.C.'s car – a brand new Rolls-Royce Phantom VII – so the two adults quickly agreed that he would follow her to her mansion after the kids had been properly buckled into their respective car seats.
C.C. actually helped Niles by buckling Eve into her seat before taking care of Amelia, and once everyone was ready, the two cars began their way back to C.C.'s mansion.
Just like she had said, her home was only a few blocks away from the Sheffield mansion, and it was imposing. It was even bigger than the Sheffield's, and the heavy, oak door was decorated with a golden door knocker.
It was certainly a place where C.C. Babcock would live in, that was for sure.
The mansion's interior was just as impressive as the frontage. The elegant entrance hall counted with a comfortable closet and gave to a beautiful living room. The room was spacious and well-lit, it had two large windows encased by delicate ochre curtains, which had an excellent view of the street. There was a wonderful fireplace surrounded by a sofa and a number of arm chairs. Both the furniture and the room were done in earth tone colours, something that only enhanced the air of tranquillity in the room.
Just next to the fireplace there was a tall mahogany door that led to a beautiful dining room, which was also connected to the kitchen.
"Alright, you three," C.C. said as the children deposited their little backpacks inside the foyer closet. "Run to the kitchen and I'll give you a snack."
She ushered them towards the kitchen and smiled to herself when they practically dashed to it. She followed them, but Niles was too entranced by the many pictures that could be seen in the living room.
Pictures depicting her and Amelia's life – there were pictures of the two of them on family vacations, of the two of them with Stewart and Noel; pictures of Amelia as a baby and...
Wow...
A beautiful picture of a heavily pregnant C.C. relaxing in the sun.
He knew she was beautiful, but this picture was... special. There was something about seeing her round and glowing due to her impending motherhood that just...
He didn't know how to describe it. There was just a sense of overwhelming awe and wonder.
Something in his mind – an annoying little part – made him think about how that feeling would be if he had been the one to put her in that position. But he shook it away like a horse would do to a particularly bothersome fly. He had no right to be thinking such things, and he was a guest in her house, and no matter what he felt for her, it was most likely that nothing was going to change.
He should be thankful that she hadn't immediately picked Amelia up and run before he had the chance to talk to her.
As he studied the pictures, he heard three sets of eager footsteps behind him, closely followed by C.C.'s voice telling them not to run in the house, and the footsteps slowed as they made their way upstairs. Probably to go to Amelia's room. The woman was rich, so her daughter probably had everything a child could possibly want or ask for, and the kids would most likely have a lot of fun in the time they were allowed to stay.
Soon after, the clicking of heels brought his attention fully out of his musing, and he turned to face her. She'd brewed two cups of coffee, and was holding one out to him for him to take, a soft smile on her lips.
"The kids got juice and Animal Crackers, but I thought you might want something a little more grown-up."
"Oh, yes..." he accepted the cup gratefully. "Thank you."
She indicated with her head towards the photographs, "Been admiring the pictures, right?"
She waited for him to nod, sipping her coffee before replying.
"Mm. It's the best little continuous project I've had in a while. Every time we do something new or something special, a picture of it goes on the wall."
She frowned, suddenly feeling sad looking at it. She absentmindedly used one hand to straighten one of the frames.
"A timeline just for two."
The way she said it... it made Niles sense that she regretted something. Something that she had wanted to change but hadn't.
If anything, the wall gave him the confirmation of what he had long suspected – Amelia's father was not part of C.C. and her daughter's life. He couldn't understand how someone would turn their back on this, but as selfish as it sounded, he was glad that he wasn't around.
He admired her for taking on the challenge of being a single mother, especially considering the section of society from where she came from. It mustn't have been easy, but she was a fighter.
"And it's an extremely beautiful one, I must say," Niles said and they shared a smile.
"Well... she is certainly beautiful," C.C. indicated to a picture of a smiling Amelia. "Come, let's get comfortable."
As they walked to the sofa, Niles couldn't help but agree. Amelia was, indeed, beautiful, and she had gotten that beauty from her mother. C.C. was still absolutely breath-taking.
They sat down on the sofa and remained in silence for quite a long time, just nursing their cups of coffee on their laps. There were too many things to discuss, and neither knew exactly what to say.
"So... uh... you've got a beautiful house," Niles spoke before taking a sip of his coffee.
C.C. was once again ridiculously grateful for him having taken the first step. "Thank you. I moved here when I was pregnant with Amelia. It belonged to my father, but he gave it to me when he heard I was pregnant."
She gulped down a mouthful of coffee. She still remembered the fear and the unbelievable relief that had come with telling her father she was pregnant. Stewart and Noel had been nothing but supportive since she had told them the news, and, although itnhad taken time and a more than considerable amount of emotional talks, she was glad that her mother had eventually reconciled with her after Amelia had turned one year old.
"I got pregnant in Argentina," she suddenly blurted out. Part of her just needed to get this off her chest – if Niles couldn't accept this, then she'd rather not have him in her life, no matter how much it was going to hurt her. "She was... an unplanned surprise and I had no way of contacting her biological father when I discovered I was pregnant. I chose to keep her, and I don't regret it – she's made me the happiest I have ever been."
Niles thought about why she was telling him this. It was a sign of her trust in him; a trust which hadn't faded just because they'd been apart.
She was opening up, which was something new for them, but he was glad of it.
He didn't quite like the fact that he still knew barely anything about the little girl's father, but he supposed that really was none of his business. And if C.C. had no way of contacting him, then that probably meant she didn't know too much, either.
But it was all alright, despite the fear lacing her words. She was clearly testing to see his reaction, even though she needn't have worried. She'd been so strong to do this all by herself, in his mind. He wouldn't dream of judging her for this, for anything.
Amelia was loved and cared for, and C.C. was happy. They both were. That was the important part.
Why should he care about where Amelia had come from? The important thing was that there was love in that house – in that little family, that he wanted to be a part of, in any way he could possibly imagine.
"I'm glad that she's made you happy, unplanned surprise or not," he eventually said. "And I think you're tremendously brave, and, from what I've seen, a wonderful mother."
He had to add the last bit. Not because it wasn't true, but because he wasn't sure how patronising he was coming across by mentioning her bravery. Even if it sounded kind in his head, he didn't want it coming out sounding badly.
He hoped she wouldn't be offended. He didn't want to upset her. Not when he'd only just gotten her back (in some form).
He didn't look away as he waited for her reaction.
She tilted her head to one side and gave him a rather scrutinising look. It was almost as though she was considering his answer, but in the end she gave him a soft, thankful smile.
"Thank you... I certainly try to be the mother Amelia needs me to be," she looked down towards her lap, her eyes suddenly becoming clouded with an emotion Niles couldn't quite understand. "She saved me in many ways, too, so the least she deserves is me being the best mom I can be."
He felt an urge to wrap his arms around her and soothe her pain. C.C. had not only chosen to give birth to her girl, but she had also taken a responsibility that was usually shared between two parents. She was strong and brave and wonderful... he didn't understand why she feared she'd be a bad mother.
Instead of hugging her (that was still out of bounds) he reached out for her hand and covered it with his own. Much to his surprise she gripped it back.
"She was the reason why I... uh... definitely stopped drinking and smoking and taking prescription drugs," she confessed. It was time for another complicated part of their conversation. "Basically, after getting out of the sanatorium I decided I wanted to change my life – that I didn't want to be in that dark place anymore. But going back to the mansion... I couldn't do that. The entire environment was too stressful for me to recover. I mean, I ended up in a sanatorium because I had reached my breaking point; I was lost. I was a highly functioning alcoholic, the man I had thought I loved was getting married, the other important man in my life seemed to be happy for my misery, and I was losing my place in my own business, or that's what I felt after I saw Nanny Fine going into Maxwell's office and had a door close in my face. I was sick, and I had to deal with deep emotional issues that I had carried around for decades..." she sighed, taking another sip of her coffee. "I guess I just needed to get away to clear my mind and recover."
Niles frowned, considering her words carefully.
It was certainly admirable that she'd quit her addictions for her daughter. In that little girl, she'd managed to take a newfound responsibility for her own health. But that wasn't the beginning, by any means. It was merely a result of steps that she'd taken beforehand on the road to being healthy. And he couldn't help but be proud of her – for opening up to him like this, as well as for actually doing it.
She definitely seemed to have cleared her mind by getting away. But he still needed to clear his own, in a number of ways.
First of all, by coming to terms with his own guilt. It was obvious he was one of the reasons she'd left – he'd sent her to the sanatorium in the first place! How could he sit there with her, drinking her coffee and acting like he didn't have a bigger role in this than just her mentioning the "other important man" who seemed happy for her misery? She'd named a number of other reasons, but it was obvious she meant him by that comment, and it stuck out as more painful than the others.
He wished he hadn't tried to hurt her so much. Maybe things would have been different.
And he wanted to let her know this. She deserved to know. Looking back he had realised that his behaviour towards her had been, at times, unbelievably cruel. He knew pranks and zingers were their raison d'être back then, but he had gone overboard, and it had costed her sanity.
That was a cross he'd drag until his dying day.
"And a testimony of your strength is that you got to where you are today," he replied, squeezing her hand. "But, if I might ask, were... were my pranks what pushed you over the edge?"
His voice was on the verge of breaking. It was a question that had been tormenting him ever since he had taken her to the sanatorium all those many years ago.
"Was... was it my fault that you ended up at the sanatorium?"
C.C.' eyes widened, almost as though she had just realised something – did he really blame himself for her going to the sanatorium? Had he carried that weight in his heart for all those years?
"Oh… Niles," she edged closer to him, and much to his surprise, she hugged him. "Your pranks weren't the main reason why I went there-"
"But they helped," he interrupted her, a few tears running down his cheeks as he too wrapped his arms around her back.
"Niles, I don't blame you. We had a routine – a dynamic we had built over the course of fifteen years. You insulted me, I insulted you back. I enjoyed our games, I really did, but I was not well and I couldn't deal with my life in general. At a certain point our games became too aggressive, and neither of us knew when to put a stop to it. I didn't ask for help, and you had no way of knowing I was spiralling down into a deep, dark hole."
Briefly releasing him, she settled her cup of coffee on the table in front of them, gently took his own from him and put it next to hers, and then returned to his arms. She felt safe there, and she wanted him to feel safe with her, too.
She had to let him know that it wasn't all his fault. She'd been gone six years, and he'd probably been living with this for all that time...he must have felt terrible. And she couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving him in this position. But she didn't mention that out loud – he already felt bad enough as it was, and she didn't want this to continue into a vicious circle of one feeling bad for making the other feel bad.
"It's over now," she told him, holding him tight. "We can start again."
Starting again sounded good to him. They could re-learn what it felt like to be around the other. They could catch up on things that they'd missed, and talk about Amelia some more if C.C. felt like it, and just generally learn to be comfortable.
Friends. They could actually try learning to be real friends. And whatever happened after that was a bonus he'd be overjoyed to receive, but wouldn't press for.
He'd be honoured to be in her life in any capacity.
He pulled away, using his sleeve to wipe his eyes, "That...I'd like that. The starting again part, I mean."
She smiled up at him and cupped his cheek, using her thumb to brush away one last, lone tear. Friendship was not the only thing she wanted – and it wasn't the only thing he wanted, either – but it was a start. Too many things had changed and too much time had passed to jump to any other type of relationship.
They'd start small and then see where the road took them.
"That's good, because I like the idea too," she removed her hand from his face and wrapped it around his hand instead. "For now, what do you say if we check on the little ones? It's almost time for us to start cooking dinner."
Niles glanced at his watch and nearly gasped. It was 17:45 hs already?! He needed to be home by 18:00!
"Wow! Time certainly flies past..." he muttered, rubbing his nape. He was slightly – okay, he was really – disappointed that he had to leave already. After being away from her for so long, he'd rather spend some time with her.
She seemed to pick up on this. "Tell you what – why don't you come over for dinner on your free day? We can chat and spend more time together."
"That actually sounds like a wonderful idea," he replied as they both got to their feet and began making their way upstairs. "I am free on Friday nights, Saturdays and Sundays."
"Then would you like to come this upcoming Friday?"
"Sounds perfect," he replied, beaming. This was a new beginning, and he was planning to enjoy it.
After years of basically not knowing how the other was doing, dinner plans was like a gift sent from God himself.
And as they walked to Amelia's room, they couldn't help but feel that they were, indeed, blessed.
AN: And here you have the first chapter! We hope you liked it :) There are more to come! We'd appreciate your reviews.
HL