Chapter 14
The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them…
Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.
- Michel de Montalgne
June 30, 2014
Emily curled on her side on her couch, snuggled under a blanket, facing the computer screen and looking lovingly at Derek as he read. She found herself lulled by his voice, not sleepy, but content. Last week it was Emily's turn to choose the next book, and she finally felt in a place to share To Kill a Mockingbird with him. He'd read it long ago and knew the story, but was enjoying reading it again. She told him it was her favorite book when she was eleven, but she hadn't told him why; she hadn't told him about Jacob. She'd come to the conclusion that she couldn't let the experiences of her childhood just live in her past. However painful, they had shaped her into who she was today and he needed to know.
She wanted to talk with him about it in person, though, and soon she knew she would have endless days in which to do that. For now she decided to just enjoy his voice as he read.
He approached her favorite part of the book and she closed her eyes in comfortable anticipation.
"When he gave us our air-rifles, Atticus wouldn't teach us to shoot. Uncle Jack instructed us in the rudiments thereof; he said Atticus wasn't interested in guns. Atticus said to Jem one day, "I'd rather you shoot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."
Derek paused his reading and looked at his computer screen, smiling adoringly at the woman on the other side.
"Hey, Em. You awake?"
Emily opened her eyes and smiled back at him, "Yes, This is just my favorite part of the book."
Derek looked down and continued to read, "That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it. 'Your father's right,' she said. 'Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.'"
Derek paused again. "That's your favorite part? I'm not saying it's not a great part of the book, but I'm curious as to why it's your favorite."
"Because it's the beginning to the whole point of the story. Atticus knew how to live as a truly good person. They only time he ever stepped outside of his morals was to protect a mockingbird, in this case Boo Radley. He knew that harming those who only made beautiful music for the world was a sin. Kill the bad guys if you must, but never harm an innocent soul," said Emily.
"I hear you, love," said Derek. "Not that I don't enjoy our philosophical conversations, but it's midnight your time. You know what that means?"
Emily's heart picked up pace in excitement. "July 1st. We're almost there."
"I'm pretty sure the team thinks I'm going slightly crazy; I literally can't stop smiling. Are you going to call Hotch about possibly coming back now that there's a vacancy?"
Emily raised herself up and leaned on her elbow. "Yes. Andrews pretty much has things under control here so I was thinking of extending things a little. I could switch my flight from Monday to Wednesday and just go home with you from the cabin. I'll see if Hotch can see me that Tuesday. And then, if you want to tell the team I'm in town, we could all get together that night and spill the beans." Emily paused and winked, "Just so they don't decide to commit you or anything."
Derek inhaled and smiled, "This is really happening."
"It absolutely is and I absolutely can't wait. Though I have to admit I'm kind of dreading the endless questions from the team about how and why and how long and all of that."
"They won't ask too many questions. Except Penelope, and maybe Rossi. Reid probably will be, too. Yeah, you're right, we're screwed in that regard." Derek said with a laugh.
"Maybe if we set the bar really high when we first tell them, the rest of it will seem trivial. Like, 'The first time we had sex was in Hotch's office. Just kidding! But this has been going on for seven years.'"
They both laughed.
"It's going to be amazing, Derek, not matter what."
"It definitely is. Do you want me to keep reading or are you ready for bed?" asked Derek.
"Keep reading. I love it when you read this book to me. You're my Atticus."
"What do you mean?"
"You'd never hurt an innocent person, you impart wisdom, you don't give up on people, you love fiercely and forgive easily, and you have deep compassion for misguided souls. You are the perfect man, Derek Morgan."
"I think you're pretty perfect, too, Em," he said before starting to read again.