"Mona?"
Ramona Dursley rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and squinted at the clock, the red numbers showed that it was a little past two in the morning.
"Mona?" The tiny voice said again. This time she recognized who was speaking.
"Wes? Wes, what is it, what's wrong?" Wes didn't call Ramona very often, and never before had he called in the middle of the night. Ramona's heart began beating double-time. Something was wrong, she was sure of it.
From across the room, her roommate Heidi groaned, an irritated noise that meant she was not happy about having her sleep interrupted. Ramona ignored her, carrying her cell phone into the bathroom.
"Mona something's happened." Wes sounded very small and very young, which scared her badly.
"Wes, tell me!"
"I heard Mum and Dad talking. I know I wasn't supposed to be up, but I was, and I heard them." The little boy sounded close to tears.
"It'll be okay Wesley, just tell me what you heard." Ramona was close to panicking; quickly pacing the length of the tiny bathroom she shared with four other girls.
"They were talking about Arthur, Mona! They were saying that they're going to have to send him away to live somewhere else! Mona I think they're trying to get rid of him!"
She heard the rustle of fabrics and the hot breath of her baby brother. "Wes, where are you now?"
"In the closet, so Mum and Dad won't hear and send me away too."
"Okay Wes, now tell me, what exactly did you hear Mum and Dad say. Think real hard." Ramona held her breath waiting for the response.
"They said…" Wes mumbled, "They said that Art's had too many accidents now to ignore it. They were talking about Dad's cousin Harry, and saying that he knew a place where they could take Art. For his own good. Mona, I don't want them to send Arty away!"
"Shhh Wes, Don't worry, everything's going to be alright." Ramona slumped against the bathroom cabinet, shivering as the cold of the linoleum made its way through her pajama bottoms. She breathed in deeply, twice, before deciding what to do. "Wes, can you give the phone to Arty? I need to talk to him about all this."
She heard the distinctive squeak of the closet door and the shuffling of small feet as Wes crept back to his brother's bed.
Hey, pssst, Arty wake up!
Hhmmmmfff what?
It's Mona, she wants to talk to you.
Wes… what?
"Hey Ramona, why'd you call?" Art sounded sleepy and confused, but not frightened, which reassured the oldest Dursley child.
"Hey Arty." Ramona tried to sound as cheerful as possible. "Actually it was Wes who called me. He … uh… overheard Mum and Dad talking about something that freaked him out a bit. Do you know what that might have been Art?"
Art sighed. Wes, go back to bed okay? "I might have set my teacher's wig on fire a few weeks back. It kinda scared Mum and Dad. They've been talking a lot with cousin Harry lately, talking about me I guess."
"Why would they be talking to cousin Harry, Art?"
"You're going to think I'm crazy." The ten year old muttered.
Ramona rolled her eyes. "Of course you're nuts Arthur, our entire family is. But you should know that I of all people will understand. Please tell me?"
"I think I'm a wizard." Art whispered into the receiver.
Ramona felt as though the air had been knocked out of her. Not that she found it at all surprising, but "Oh." She let out a squeak.
"Yeah. Oh."
"Art, can you give the phone to Mum and Dad. I need to talk to them for a moment."
"I'm sorry Mona! Please don't be mad!" Arthur sounded desperately sad, something Ramona hated.
"Don't worry Arty, we'll get this all sorted out." She said determinedly.
Across the line she heard Arthur shuffle down the stairs and to their parent's bed room.
Hey, hey Mum… Mummy wake up!
Huh? Baby what is it?
It's Mona, she wants to talk to you and Dad.
Oh… Dudley, Dudley get up, it's Ramona. Run get the other phone.
"Ramona?" Sarah Dursley sounded the way she always did just after waking up, mumbly and tired. "Dear, why are you calling so late on a school night?"
"Actually, Mum, it was Wes that called me." Ramona was starting to feel cranky. Why couldn't her parents have called a family conference to talk about Arty's weirdness like civilized people? Why did they have to play pass the phone at two in the morning?
"What?" her mother was beginning to sound more and more awake. Ramona heard the click of the receiver as her father picked up the kitchen phone to join the conversation.
"Hello darling, what's got you calling at such a late hour?" Dudley Dursley asked cheerfully.
"Argh!" Ramona growled in frustration, before quickly remembering that she absolutely could not awaken her suitemates. "Look, Wes called me okay? He was terrified, hiding in the closet because he overheard you saying you were going to send Arthur away to live with distant relatives because he apparently set his teacher's wig on fire which nobody told me about by the way!" She tugged angrily on her ponytail, wishing that it was not two in the morning and that she did not live with three other people so that she could shout.
For a moment, nobody spoke and then "Ramona, I am so sorry you had to find out like this." Sarah whispered.
"What? So it's true, you are going to send Arty away to live with relatives we've never even met?"
"No one's sending anyone anywhere Ramona!" Dudley spoke quietly but firmly. He hated that his oldest daughter would immediately think that he was capable of abandoning any of his children. Like dark shadows the shameful memories of his childhood were lurking at the edges of his mind.
"Then what in the world is going on Dad?"
Her father sighed. "It's true, Arthur did set Mrs. Gerber's wig on fire. We didn't tell you because we didn't want to make a big deal out of anything before we were certain about… certain things. The reason Wes overheard us talking about sending Arty to stay with my cousin Harry is because that is what we were talking about." Ramona started a retort filled with righteous indignation, but Dudley cut her off. "Ramona, dear, your brother is very different – very special – from the rest of us. He's a wizard. That's why we've been talking to cousin Harry. Harry's a wizard too, and he knows far more about that world than your mother and I ever will."
"We weren't ever going to send Arthur away, Ramona," Sarah Dursley chimed in. "We were just talking about where Arty should go to school, how we can best help him stay out of trouble until next fall when he's eligible to start magic school." And then she chuckled at how ridiculous those words sounded to her ears.
Ramona sat for a moment with her head against her knees in silent thought, and then constructed her response. "Okay. So, what's the game plan?" Having a plan, she realized would make her feel much better about everything.
Dudley was stunned at how easily his daughter was taking all of this. "But… ahhh… don't you have any, ahh, questions for us? About this whole magic thing?"
At last Ramona found herself able to laugh. "Daddy, I've known for ages that Art could do magic. It was pretty obvious growing up with him."
"What?" Both of the elder Dursley's were flabbergasted.
"Ummm… duh? I mean, he was always doing weird stuff, magical stuff. It was pretty obvious what was going on. Remember when he glued Wes to the ceiling? You can't do that with normal superglue guys!"
Sarah breathed in deeply, letting the knowledge of her older daughter sink in for a second before finding her foothold. "Alright. Well, as your father said, we aren't planning on letting anyone take Arthur anywhere. For now, everything will proceed as normal. We're still trying to make plans with Harry as to what our next step should be."
Ramona sagged in relief. "Well that's good. I was kind of afraid I'd have to quit school and take custody of the kids and work a double shift at McDonalds. Which was gonna suck by the way." She said wryly.
"Our little hellion, all grown up and responsible!" Sarah pretended to coo, doing a very unflattering impression of her mother-in-law Petunia Dursley.
"Okay parents, I'm going back to bed. Goodnight" She hoisted herself up off the bathroom floor and flipped the light switch before fumbling her way back into bed.
"Goodnight Ramona, We love you." Her father said.
"Night Pops."
From across the room Heidi groaned and rolled over. "Your family is insane." She grumbled.
"I know." Ramona smiled.