Another Hell to Pay deleted scene - an alternate ending, plus a bit more of a convo between Emma and Hook, of her trying to convince him that he *is* good and redeemable. :)

Some of this chapter is the same as the conversation in the actual final chapter, but this one has a twist at the end that I had intended to continue with, but didn't. ;) This takes place right after Emma heals Killian in the UW loft. Hope you enjoy!

~cosette141

Killian opened his eyes.

He blinked a few times, staring at a ceiling that looked somewhat familiar.

Climbing slowly into wakefulness, yet still exhausted, Killian suddenly realized this was the first time in ages he hadn't woken to some horrible nightmare.

He shut his eyes, reveling in the peace.

Peace.

His eyes snapped back open.

It wasn't just the dreamless sleep that brought this feeling of bliss.

He felt no pain.

None.

He blinked, lifting his arm to inspect his hand, looking for the wound from the cell bar. He paused. His arm didn't hurt to lift. His arm didn't hurt to lift. Waking up even more now, Killian stared in quiet awe at his hand.

There was no burn wound. No blood. Anywhere. He quickly touched his chest, smiling when he felt nothing. The hellhound wounds were gone. The fire from the broken ribs, gone.

All of it.

Every injury.

Gone.

Bloody hell.

The relief felt euphoric.

He'd forgotten what it felt like to be without pain.

He wanted to laugh.

Emma must have healed him.

Emma.

His eyes snapped back open, sudden worry slipping into him as memories came rushing back. Of the River, Emma rescuing him, Hades trapping them in the caves…

And even hazier memories of their escape, of the woodland and the Underworld-version of Storybrooke. Very, very briefly he remembered seeing her parents. Blinking at the room, he recognized Emma's old room in her parents loft; he was lying on her bed, it seemed. Though… he couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. It felt like some sort of dream, the events blurring together in a painful haze.

Killian turned his head, looking for Emma, needing to know it wasn't some sort of dream.

He didn't have to look far.

Because curled into his left side, her face tucked into his neck and shoulder, was Emma.

Killian smiled, the red-hued daylight softly illuminating her. Emma's eyes were shut, her blond locks splayed over his chest, her arm draped loosely over his waist. He could feel her breathe, could feel her steady heartbeat through their touch.

She was safe.

Smiling, more relief washing through him when there was no longer that painful split in his lip, Killian whispered, "Emma." When she just hummed, snuggling deeper into him, he smiled wider, kissing her hair. "Emma, love," he tried again.

Her eyes fluttered open.

Emma blinked sleepily a few times, her fingers mindlessly playing with the buttons on his vest like she often did when she'd fall asleep in his arms watching what she called the Net Flicks. She blinked again, her eyes slowly finding his face. She smiled softly when she saw his eyes open, looking at her. Then, like she broke through a daze, her eyes widened. "Killian!" she breathed, shock and absolute joy breaking out on her face.

"Hey, beautiful," he whispered just as softly, smile growing.

Tears in her eyes, she smiled back, relief and joy radiating from her. She sat up a little, looking over his face, then down to his chest, and back. Her own smile grew. Breathlessly, she whispered, "How are you feeling?"

He grinned. "Bloody amazing," he said, the words honest in every way.

Emma didn't waste a second.

She threw her arms around his neck, tackling him in a hug so tight he could hardly breathe.

He fell back against the pillow, laughing, because it didn't hurt, he didn't hurt, he finally didn't bloody hurt.

"Thank god," she whispered breathlessly over his shoulder, hugging him even tighter. "I'm so glad." He felt something wet hit his shoulder. "Killian, I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered.

Killian felt tears in his own eyes, running his hand over her hair. "Not as glad as I am that you are, love," he whispered. And he shut his eyes, the feel of her in his arms making more tears sting his eyes, missing her embrace so bloody much . He hadn't felt her—truly, truly her—in so long, and hadn't even been able to after she rescued him, when his body had been too broken to handle mere touches without agony. Relief like none other washed through him like blissfully cool water.

After a moment, Emma pulled back, still laying on him, tears in her eyes, her smile like sunlight on her face. She looks so beautiful when she smiles. Killian simply watched her, mesmerized, seeing her more clearly than he'd been able to for so long. Emma looked back down at his chest, lifting her fingers to trace his shoulder, where the hellhound wound used to be. It didn't hurt, and it made him smile. She looked back at him. "You look so much better," she whispered.

"I'm devilishly handsome again?" he asked with a quirk of his brow.

Emma giggled a little, the sound like giddy relief, and it sounded like music. "You never weren't," she said, brushing her thumb over the side of his face that she had carefully avoided touching for so long. Killian shut his eyes at the feeling. When he opened them, her eyes had a touch of sadness in them. "It was so hard seeing you like that," she whispered, meeting his eyes. "What he did to you… what you went through…"

Memories flashed.

Pain.

Horrible, unbearable pain.

Killian felt a muscle twitch in his jaw, and he nearly had to shut his eyes at the vividness of the memories.

"It's all right," he said softly. "I'm all right now," he whispered with a little smile. And maybe he wasn't just telling her.

But more tears slipped down her cheeks. "You were in so much pain," she whispered. "Killian… I've never heard you sound like that before. I've never heard anyone sound like that before," her breath hitched, and Killian shut his eyes. If he had looked and sounded as awful as he had felt ... He opened his eyes, seeing a haunted look in hers. He wished more than anything she hadn't seen him like that. "I couldn't do a damn thing about it," said Emma in a choked whisper. "I'm so sorry you were in all that pain for so long," her voice broke, shoulders shaking.

"Love," he whispered, face falling because Emma never cried, and he couldn't stand to see it. "I'm all right now," he repeated, softer. He sat up a little, still surprised when pain didn't come. He reached for her face, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I'm all right because of you , Emma. I wouldn't even exist right now without you, love. You saved me," he said softly.

"Only after you had already been…" Her brows crinkled together miserably, another tear falling. "Killian, your back," she whispered brokenly.

Killian stiffened.

He shut his eyes, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

Bloody hell.

He hadn't wanted her to see that.

"Emma," he said softly, voice pained.

Another tear falling down her cheek, Emma said, "I n-never would have… would have done what I did if I knew you were going to suffer, Killian," her shoulders shook with another quiet sob that would have broken Killian's heart if he still had one. "I'm so sorry, I'm—"

Killian reached his left arm toward her, wishing for the millionth time in his life that he had two hands, resting his empty brace on her arm, brushing her tears away with the thumb of his right. " Emma ," he said heavily, wishing he knew what to say because seeing Emma cry hurt more than any of the injuries.

"It should have been me," whispered Emma brokenly.

"No," he said firmly, the very thought of that outcome sending a chill down his spine. "Emma…" He hesitated, clawing for words. "What… happened… to me here," he said unevenly, and Emma's voice hitched. "It isn't your fault, love." With a sort of heaviness, he said sadly, "Hades didn't hurt me because of anything you did, Emma. That was a fate that had been waiting for me long before I even met you, love. And…" Killian hesitated again, guilt and a different kind of pain sinking into him. "If I'm being honest with myself, I… deserved it."

A completely new kind of sadness dawned in Emma's eyes. "Killian..." she breathed.

Killian smiled sadly. "I know I've… changed, love," he said unevenly. "But I was still a villain."

"No one deserves what you went through, Killian," she whispered. "Least of all you." When he looked away, she gently took his face in her hands, making him look at her and holding him like she desperately needed him to hear her words. She let out a breath, shutting her eyes, like she was preparing to dig up something she buried deep inside her. "Ever since I found my family," she said slowly, and Killian recognized her tone; whatever she was about to say, she'd never said it out loud before. "All I've been doing is… saving everyone. Being everyone's savior . And of course I'm glad I have my family and found a home, but…" Emma opened her eyes, something shining in them, and it looked like the softest ray of sun through broken glass. "Killian, you're the only person who keeps saving me." Tears were suddenly in her eyes for an entirely different reason. "Sometimes it feels like… like I just matter because I'm there to save everyone else. And it…" Her voice caught. She shut her eyes briefly before slowly meeting his again. "It reminds me of a time when I was just an orphan, just… alone. When I didn't think I mattered. When I didn't think anyone would care enough to save me ." She smiled almost shyly, looking more vulnerable than Killian's ever seen her. She slowly met his stunned gaze. "Killian, you make me feel like I matter." Taking his hand, Emma looked at him, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Tell me how a villain could do that," she whispered.

Killian blinked.

She's always been an open book to him, ever since the very moment they met.

And right here, right now, there was nothing but truth in her eyes.

He stared in utter disbelief, struck speechless that he—he—managed to bring her such happiness.

She meant it, she believed it, but…

He must be as much of an open book to her as she is to him, because she tilted his chin to make him meet her eyes when he found himself no longer able to hold her gaze, and she said, "I know you did things you wish you hadn't done in your life," she said, a crease in her brows when he swallowed hard. "But so have I. Killian, I was a thief, and not the Robin kind. I've done things I wish I could take back." She winced a little before saying, "One of which being when I... when I left you behind on the beanstalk," she whispered, genuine regret shining in her eyes. "And… and when I…" Emma's fingers ghosted his abdomen, and Killian felt the stark, chilling memory of the sword slicing through his body. Emma's breath hitched. Before Killian could interrupt, she went on, "And after everything that happened with my parents…" She took a breath, like it was still something she had a hard time accepting. "Killian, they're heroes and look what they did to Lily. Or what my mom did to Regina's mother." Her thumb brushing across his cheek, her eyes desperately searched his. "No one's perfect, Killian."

Killian stared back into her eyes, wanting her optimism.

Even if no one was perfect, he was the furthest thing from it.

When he was quiet too long, Emma brushed her fingers through his hair. "You're perfect to me," she whispered, making him look up to see that smile like the sun on her face.

Warmth spread in his chest, something so touched stunned him to the core.

He smiled, unable to help himself. "As are you to me, Emma," he whispered.

She smiled, a smile brighter than he's ever seen on her, and she pulled him to hers, meeting his lips in a soft kiss. He shut his eyes. Emma pulled away, and rested her forehead to his. "I love you, Killian," she whispered.

Killian smiled, joy warming him as if he still had his heart, hearing the words she always kept so closely guarded come so freely. He gently pulled her to his chest, wrapping her in his arms, feeling her hug him back just as tightly. "And I love you," he whispered.

He's missed this, missed her, and missed more than anything to be able to hold her without pain. Tears stung his eyes.

Killian smiled over her shoulder. "I don't think I've thanked you yet, love," he said, pulling back a little. "Thank you for healing me, Emma."

"I... didn't, actually." she said with a shy grin. "After we got back home, my magic was a little… drained." She winced a little, and Killian's brow creased. "It was Regina who healed you," said Emma.

Killian's brow lifted with surprise.

Then, he tensed a little.

Emma seemed to read his mind, and with a little, sly smile, she said, "Don't worry; she didn't heal anything below the belt." Killian relaxed a little, to her amusement. But her smile faded, turning into something more concerned. "I know I healed your left leg in the caves, but is your right okay?"

"Just fine, love," said Killian. His right leg had been one of the luckiest parts of him. Other than what were bound to be bruises, his right leg was relatively fine.

"Good," said Emma with a relieved smile. "Regina said that you might be sore still for a while."

"That I can handle," he said, regretting it when it made that haunted look pass through Emma's eyes. But it was gone as quickly as it came, even if her hand squeezed his a little more. "I should give her my thanks," said Killian, tuning into the quiet conversation they could hear going on downstairs. "As well as the rest of your family," he added, quieter, feeling guilt sink deep into him, remembering the last time he'd seen them at the lake.

Emma smiled. She got off the bed and stood, her hand never leaving his. Slowly, Killian moved to stand. The last time he stood on his own felt like ages ago. He smiled as he got to his feet, without the fire in his ribs, without fire anywhere. He shut his eyes a little, reveling in the pure relief.

But though healed, he didn't expect to be so unsteady.

"Woah," said Emma when he swayed a little, quickly steadying him.

It took him a moment to straighten. He looked down, finally seeing himself whole again. His thought hesitated at his left arm; almost whole, at the very least. But that grin was at his lips, finally not seeing blood everywhere he looked. Emma had a grip on his right arm, keeping him steady. He was still exhausted, and though it was nowhere near what it was in the caves, he still had a weakness about him that sleep hadn't managed to completely shake off.

"You okay?" asked Emma worriedly, holding him like she was afraid he'd break.

Killian managed to get his balance after a moment. He smiled at her, making her smile shakily back. "Fine, love," he said honestly. "It's just… been a while."

Her fingers tightened a little on his arm.

Killian eyed the staircase with unease, smile faltering.

Emma noticed.

"I've got it," she said with a little smile.

And in a cloud of white smoke, they appeared at the bottom of the stairs in the loft.

Killian's newfound balance didn't take very well, and Emma had to tighten her hold on him to get it back.

The conversation that had been going on while they were upstairs halted at their entrance. Killian looked up to see the lot of them, Emma's family, Regina and Robin, in the loft. Emma's parents and Henry were seated at the table, Regina and Robin on their feet, looking like they were planning on going somewhere.

Henry saw them first. "Mom!" he said with a grin. "Killian!" He shot up from the table and crashed into Emma in a hug. "I'm glad you guys are okay."

Emma laughed. "Hey, kid," she said with a smile, ruffling his hair. "Us, too. Believe me."

A smile broke out on Snow's face. "You're both awake!" She quickly stood from the table, David following.

"Morning," said Emma with a little smile to her parents.

Snow smiled wider, approaching the two of them, giving Emma a hug. "You slept, thank goodness," she told Emma with relief. Then, to Killian, she gave him a little look-over, smiling even more when she did. "And you, Killian, you're…" She hesitated, like she didn't know how to phrase it. "You're looking much better," she said softly, making Killian feel slightly uncomfortable when a haunted look similar to Emma's from upstairs seemed to come over everyone in the room.

"Feeling it too," said Killian quietly, with a rare, shy sort of smile.

"We're so relieved we found you," whispered Snow.

Emma's hand tightened a little on his arm. A tiny flick of a smile at his lips, he said quietly, "Aye, as am I." When a slight lull came over the group of them, Killian shut his eyes with a wince, pulling forth as much courage as he had, to open his eyes and say, "I'd…" His throat closed, but he forced the words out. Addressing them all, preparing himself, he said heavily, "I'd like to apologize," he said, making himself meet their eyes. "For everything that… transpired… before I…"

But David walked up to him, gently clapping a hand on his shoulder, making Killian look at him in surprise. David sighed and said, "Do you really think we'd all be here right now if we blamed you for anything?"

Killian stared at him, speechless.

"We get it, Hook," said David seriously. "You had to fight the dark before and I have no idea how hard it must have been to do it all over again."

Killian blinked, speechless.

"I mean, after everything you just went through," said David, making Killian stiffen the smallest bit, and Emma's hand on his arm tighten. "You sacrificed yourself to save us, Killian," said David, soft enough that the words were only between the two of them, shocking Killian even further because David hasn't called him Killian since he had to, when Henry had no memories. "That makes you a hero in my book."

"And mine," added Snow with a soft smile.

Killian looked from both of them, to Henry's grin, and Regina and Robin, seeing none of the contempt, the disgust, the blame he had expected to see in each of their eyes.

He blinked, stunned and absolutely touched.

Something stung Killian's eyes, but he blinked it away, clearing his throat, utterly at a loss for words. "I," he began, meeting David's eyes. "Thank you." And to the group as a whole, and just as genuinely, still in disbelief that they did, he said, "Thank all of you for everything you've done for me."

"You're welcome," deadpanned Regina, with a roll of her eyes that almost covered the emotion in them. "Now can we get back to figuring out how we're getting the hell out of Hell?"

Killian's brows shot up. Looking at Emma, he repeated, "Wait, 'figuring out'? You mentioned you had a… plan," he said slowly, watching a half-hearted wince grow on Emma's face with every word, only making Killian want to groan. "Emma-" he began.

"We did ," said Emma with a sigh. "But… Hades…"

Killian felt a chill slip down his spine, his body going rigid at the very name. Emma happened to feel it, her eyes widening at his reflexive reaction. He spoke before she could comment on it. "What did the bloody demon do?" asked Killian tightly.

"The boat I used to get to you," said Emma hesitantly. "He took it back."

Killian's eyes flashed. He'll be bloody damned if Hades traps any of these people here. "Well, then we'll just have to procure another one. Good thing I happen to be a pirate."

"That'd be great," said Regina with a lift of her brow, "But before you go find the Underworld version of your ship, Hades did more than just steal back our ride home."

Killian tensed as Emma took over, saying, "It's a little… worse than the boat," she said quietly. Before he could ask, already knowing he wouldn't like the answer, she said, "Regina found three new headstones in the cemetery. Hers, my mom's, and…" She cautiously looked at Killian's stricken eyes. "...mine."

Killian froze.

"At first, I wanted your friends to leave. Now, I want to punish them. So, for every soul your friends free, one of them is going to have to stay here.

"And you, Captain, get to decide who."

"Bloody hell," breathed Killian, shutting his eyes. "He did it himself."

Emma blinked. "Did… did what himself?"

Killian screwed his eyes shut. "When I… when I was with Hades," he said, feeling Emma's hand tighten on his again. "He wanted me to choose three of you to stay here. To carve your name in headstones," he breathed, words pained. "Emma, I refused." He shut his eyes. "I didn't bloody think he'd choose himself," he whispered.

"Hey," said Emma, her hand on his cheek, making him open his eyes. "We'll figure this out, Killian. Hades didn't think we could get out of the caves, and we did." Bright determination in her eyes, Emma said firmly, "We can beat him."

He looked at her, wishing against all odds that she was right.

"We'll be back," said Regina, and she and Robin moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Emma.

"To find Gold," said Regina, narrowing her eyes. "Little imp has some major explaining to do, and he's going to get us the hell out of here. If anyone has an idea how to get our names off those gravestones, it's him."

"I'll help," volunteered Henry.

Regina looked to Emma, giving her a little grin, saying, "He'll be safe with us."

Emma just smiled back. "I know."

Killian doubted that finding the Crocodile would help matters at all (most likely make them worse), but Snow and David nodded to them, and after Henry gave Emma another hug, the three of them left.

"Here," said Snow, pulling out two of the chairs from the kitchen island. "Sit down. Both of you. Killian, you still look a little pale," she said, brows creased, making Killian feel that rare sort of discomfort under such concerned scrutiny. "Oh," she said suddenly, like she remembered something, and went to the couch.

Emma and he acquiesced-Killian with relief he didn't voice, because though pain-free, he still felt too weak for his liking-sitting in two of the chairs at the island. When Snow came back, she gave Killian a little smile. "We kept it safe."

Killian smiled, taking his hook from her. "Thank you, milady," he said softly, clicking it back into place, feeling a bit more like himself.

"I thought I told you," said Snow with a half-hearted roll of her eyes. "Call me Snow."

"Snow," corrected Killian with a little incline of his head and a smile playing at his lips.

Emma smiled at him, taking his hand when her parents busied themselves with their own conversation. Her eyes shining, she whispered, "We'll figure this out and be home soon, I know it."

Killian swallowed, feeling painfully aware of the hollowness of his chest.

"Emma," said Killian quietly. He shut his eyes briefly, not wanting to voice his doubts, but needing to. "Emma, this… this plan of yours," he said, voice gaining a sort of pained tightness he tried to erase. "Even if we get a boat, and we get your names off the headstones, I… Emma, I'm…" His eyes shut again. "I'm still…"

Her hand on his cheek made him open his eyes, seeing no trace of doubt in her eyes. "Don't worry, Killian. We've got that part all figured out," she said with a smile. Taking a breath, she said, "I'm going to split my heart."

Killian's eyes widened. "You're going to what ?"

"It's okay," said Emma quickly. "My parents share my mom's heart." she said, nodding toward her parents. With a little smile, her eyes on his, she said, "Now we'll share mine."

Killian blinked. "I…" He shook himself a little, completely stunned. "Emma," he said carefully, "this is your heart, love. Are you…" He cautiously met her eyes. "...sure?"

Emma brushed his cheek with her thumb, wearing a smile brighter than the sun. "More sure than I've been of anything in my life."

Killian smiled, again seeing nothing but truth in her eyes. But, ever the gentleman, and because he still couldn't exactly fathom it, he tried one last time. This was her heart, after all. "Are you absolut-"

Emma cut him off with a kiss. She pulled back after a moment, grinning at him. "Yes."

Killian smiled too, feeling like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He'd held back the question of how she planned to bring him home, afraid of the answer. Afraid there was no answer. He lifted his blue eyes to her green. "I still can't believe you did this for me," he whispered, still feeling like it was more a dream than anything.

Emma's brows creased a little, like it hurt her that he couldn't understand why. But she smiled a little, saying, "I remember thinking that after drinking a memory potion in New York." Brushing her thumb over his cheek, she whispered, "I'd do anything for you, Killian." Searching his eyes, seeing the awe in them, she said even softer, "I just wish I knew what it would take for you to believe you deserved it."

A knock at the door made them both look up, and interrupted Snow and David's conversation. "They found Gold already?" said Snow with a raise of her brow.

Henry got up to get the door, and David was already drawing his sword. Henry unlocked the door, and opened it, revealing-

Killian froze.

Emma looked from the man in the doorway to Killian, her eyes bewildered at his reaction.

"I heard—" the newcomer began, freezing in kind when he saw Killian. The man's expression was a mirror image of Killian himself, and he took a step inside, eyes on Killian like he was the only one in the room. "Killian?" he breathed.

Killian could hardly breathe.

It was him.

After all this time.

"Liam?"