CHILDHOOD'S END
The barrier then quickly vanished. Leno rushed to the altar, but nothing remained of the engraved writings. The ritual was gone. There was no way they could bring the Staff back. It was out of their reach. Leno let out a deep sigh. He turned to Lilia.
The High Priestess, born from his own son, lowered her eyes, looking ashamed of herself.
"Raise your eyes, Lilia," said Leno, dryly. "You're a High Priestess."
"I failed, Master," she said, weakly. "I failed twice."
"You have been closer than anyone to succeed in centuries, my child," said Leno, firmly. "Do not trouble yourself with doubt. The time will come for victory. And sooner than you may think."
"We lost the Heir, and we lost the Staff," said Lilia, her voice shaking. "And I failed by the hands of a boy, a child!"
"You were defeated by Merlin's Knight!" snapped Leno. "No one will dare to blame you for that. He held the Staff in his hand and he had the Wand Gift at his command. He was a match for you. Do not be ashamed."
Lilia sighed deeply.
The silent witnesses of that exchange could tell that she had been shaken in her assurance. They both exchanged a long look, and couldn't help a smile.
Then they spoke up, drawing the attention of the Warlocks to them. As long as they had stayed silent, they had been completely unnoticeable to anyone. Not even Potter and his friends had been able to see them. They weren't sure about Merlin, but if the Magi had seen them, it was of no consequence, for he hadn't spoken and their presence hadn't harmed their final goal for today.
"Well, well," said Ariel. "It looks like our dear friend Leno's luck has turned a little, doesn't it? He's been so close, but that was not enough, though."
He didn't bother to hide his satisfaction at Leno's defeat.
"I would say he's quite upset with it, right now," said Aria, joining him. "How could we blame him?"
Leno turned to them and hate ran through his eyes.
"Kill those two!" he shouted to his men, who raised their wands immediately.
Ariel laughed heartily, as one Killing Curse shot through him. Aria rolled her eyes and shook her head in disbelief.
"Leno, you were such a clever child, once," she said. "How come you turned so thick? You really didn't think we would be here, in the range of your wands, did you? How can you suppose we would make such a mistake?"
"Sometimes, I don't understand these Warlocks," said Ariel, as casually as if he was speaking of children.
"You! The cowards, acting through your pawns, using illusions and deceit!" shouted Leno. "You're abominations!"
"Are we? And exactly who is to blame for that?!" snapped Ariel, his eyes suddenly hard as stone. "It is your fault if we are what we are."
"Oh, is that so?" said Leno, with mocking colouring his rage.
"It's because of your mad, monstrous cult that we are still around," said Aria, on a very dark tone. "Remember this, Leno. As long as you'll be here, so will we. Without you, we wouldn't be needed. We are the enemies that you created yourself. You pervert Atlantis' dream, we protect it. Abominations? Do not be so quick to judge and you really do not want to push us. I would gladly sacrifice my existence just to enjoy the delight of destroying you. Trust me, it would be a huge delight."
Leno seemed to hesitate. Maybe he wasn't that stupid after all, thought Aria. Some things had to be cleared up, sometimes. Leno, on his own, was nothing compared to them. The threat he posed to the world was based on the size of the cult. Without it, Leno was nothing more than a dark wizard with average powers. Aria gave herself the luxury to let clear hatred pass into her eyes.
Ariel, for his part, was looking at Lilia. He looked thoughtful for a second, and then he sighed.
"I have warned you, child," he said. "Will you learn from it? That remains to be seen. But it is time for you to consider the cost."
"Until next, time, Leno," said Aria, focusing on the older man. "Since you accuse us of only watching, then just know that it's always a thrill to watch you lose…"
The twins then faded, leaving the High Priest cursing after them.
A second after they had disappeared from the Core, Kenneth stumbled in the middle of the Great Hall. Professor Potter and Thierry prevented him from falling face first into the stone floor. They were soon surrounded by many teachers, all eager to know what had happened. Almost immediately, Mrs Lockenburn had caught her husband in a fierce hug. Professor Weasley was speaking with Professor Potter. Kenneth remembered that Potter's fiancée wasn't in the Castle, at the moment. Professor Dumbledore looked openly relieved to see them back. He smiled at Kenneth, who was about to speak, and raised his hand.
"I think whatever you have to say can wait until you have gotten some sleep, Mr Lionheart," he said. "We will talk about what happened later. You all look exhausted."
The sentence was directed at everyone, including Professor Potter and Professor Lockenburn, who had a smile.
"I only have one question," Dumbledore asked Potter. "What happened to the Staff?"
"Merlin took it with him," said Potter. "The Warlocks didn't get it."
"That's a relief," said Dumbledore.
"Ian," said Lockenburn. "What happened to Ian? I felt something…"
"Ian is fine," said Dumbledore, quickly. "He's resting now. Don't worry about him. Hermione here will explain what happened, while you go to your apartments and get some rest."
Professor Weasley had a tired smile and nodded for her friends. Professors Lockenburn and Potter followed the Weasleys and Phyllis toward their tower. Kenneth was catching his breath before dragging himself to the Gryffindor tower. Thierry was waiting for him, looking as tired as he was.
"Kenneth!" echoed a very concerned voice.
Turning to face the voice, Kenneth saw Julie run to him. She threw herself in his arms, in a hug that threatened to send the both of them rolling on the ground. But Kenneth's tiredness seemed to fade away instantly.
Then Julie realised the state he was in.
"I'm sorry," she said, softly. "You look terrible."
"It was worth it," said Kenneth, smiling. "And I feel terrible."
Julie smiled, but he could see she had been beyond worried. Her eyes were red and her face was a bit pale.
"I was going nuts," she said. "I had a vision right after you left. Lilia was throwing a Killing Curse at you. And there was this awful scream…"
"Actually, she shot it at me," said Thierry.
"And the screaming was hers," said Kenneth.
"Wait… what?" said Julie.
"Perhaps, it would be better if you helped your Housemates into their dormitories, Miss Carteret," said Professor Dumbledore, clearing his throat. "They are not harmed, but really need to rest."
Julie nodded at that and moved Kenneth's arm over her shoulder and helped him walk, despite his protest.
"You carried me all the way from the Maze," she said. "At least, let me return the favour, Kenneth."
Kenneth nodded, giving up on arguing. Thierry followed, with a smile on his face, even if his eyes were still tinted with sadness. The three of them headed to the Gryffindor tower.
"Kieran?" asked Kenneth.
"She's fine," said Julie. "She's out of trouble, now. Ian is sleeping in the bed next to hers."
"And Orlando?" asked Thierry.
"He's back in the Nest," said Julie.
"What about the spy?" asked Kenneth.
"Dead," said Julie on a very dark tone. "But we'll talk about this later."
Kenneth nodded. There would be a time for words, to express the sadness and relief that were fighting over his heart, right now. He was tied between confusing emotions. The sadness over Walter's death. The triumphant feeling of his meeting with Merlin. The sour taste of Gareth's betrayal. And the sweet joy he felt to feel Julie at his side. This also had to be addressed, but he didn't feel up to it, right now, so he didn't try to say anything.
The only consolation in Walter's death was that his death hadn't meant his failure. He had succeeded, through Thierry and Kenneth, in protecting the Staff. That didn't make his death easier to accept, but it seemed at least, to have given it purpose.
"Come on, Kenneth," said Julie, as they were reaching the fat Lady's painting. "We're almost there."
At their entry in the Common Room, they were greeted by a huge choir of questions, stupefied exclamations, and cheering. All the students were up, of course, and they all wanted to know everything that had happened immediately with no regard to Kenneth's lassitude and Thierry's own exhaustion. Julie was trying to keep everyone away from Kenneth.
"Enough!" suddenly shouted someone.
Silence fell on the room. Will reached Kenneth and Julie, followed by Kalindra, who looked beside herself in relief to see him alive and well.
"Can't you see he's worn out?" said Will.
He came to help Julie and they walked Kenneth to the stairs, as Kalindra was helping Thierry. Mandy joined Thierry, and hugged him softly, before replacing Kalindra, who simply followed them.
"I was so worried," said Mandy, so softly that Kenneth almost missed it.
"I'm okay," said Thierry.
"No you're not," said Mandy, on a definitive tone. "And don't even think about arguing that."
Kenneth chuckled weakly and Julie smiled at him. As they left the Common Room, Kenneth could hear Jennifer telling everyone off for their lack of sensibility. Julie and Will helped him to get to his bed, just taking off his shoes. He welcomed the comfort of the four poster bed with a sigh.
"How do you feel?" asked Julie in concern.
"I'm completely out," said Kenneth. "I will have probably forgotten everything I'm supposed to explain by the time I…"
He fell asleep before his head actually touched the pillow.
Kenneth was so tired that in fact, the explanation had to wait for the next afternoon, as both Kenneth and Harry slept till one in the afternoon. So as soon as Kenneth had eaten something, he was summoned in Professor Dumbledore's office. There were the Initiates of the Brotherhood, which meant Thierry and Wilhelm. Harry had trouble waking himself up. Professor McGonagall was looking at him with a concerned look. Ginny, who had returned urgently upon hearing of the attack on Hogwarts, Hermione and Ron were there as well and Alexander was leaning against the wall, behind Dumbledore's desk.
Kenneth took a seat, and the meeting began. Each one of them explained what had transpired at the Core. So the whole picture became clear, from the discovery of the spy by Kieran to the return of the four wizards from Brocéliande.
"So… this spy," said Harry. "Who was he?"
"Apparently a professional assassin," said Hermione. "Professor Snape has studied the corpse Hagrid brought back to the Castle. He appears to have used many disturbing transfiguration spells on himself. His body was altered to be more sensitive to Polyjuice, and also to be untraceable. He had fashioned himself a body to become the perfect spy, blending in any place by taking someone else's place. We still don't even know his name or how he lost Wagner's appearance."
"Only Ariel was in the Core," said Alexander. "Maybe Aria had something to do with this."
"I still don't understand what the hell these twins are after," said Harry.
"I don't think they're really enemies," said Kenneth. "They set Thierry on the right path to find the Staff before Arthan did."
"And Ariel helped me defeat him," said Thierry. "I also noticed that when Lilia attacked me, he wanted to interfere, but something prevented him. I think there's more to discover about these Entwistle folks, but they are not evil."
"At least it's clearer than last year," said Harry. "They just play by their own rules, but we're basically on the same side."
"Always good to know that," said Alexander.
"How is Wagner?" asked Harry.
"He's confused," said Minerva. "He had been under charms for most of the year, just after Halloween in fact. He's shaken, and he wants to go back home immediately, but apart from that, he's fine."
"Good," said Harry. "So, now, what do we make of Merlin's warnings?"
"I'm afraid that all we can do is to wait for events to unfold," said Dumbledore. "But I will call the Order of the Phoenix and tell them to try and coax out the Warlocks into the open, so we can prevent them from raising the Bane by any other means."
"Very good," said Harry, before asking the hard question that was haunting him. "So what do we do, regarding Ian?"
"Wait a minute Harry," said Alexander. "You can't decide to punish…"
"There's nothing to do, Harry," said Hermione, with an apologetic look to Alexander. "The boy had done nothing wrong, as all the courts in the world would understand it. Aurors went through the scene and the Ministry already received a special report. Arthur let me know that the Judges don't even understand why we even bothered filing it, after the Auror investigated. It has been ruled as self-defence, and that's final."
"Of course it was self-defence," said Harry, smiling. "I meant 'what can we do about helping him?' It has to be a trying time for him."
"Oh," said Alexander. "Well…"
"De Vannes!" shouted a voice from the other side of the door.
Everyone turned to the door, puzzled. Dumbledore heaved a sigh and raised his eyes to the ceiling.
"I should have changed the password," he said.
The door opened violently, leaving passage to Anselme. He was fuming.
"What are you doing here?" protested Minerva, shocked by his entry.
"I'm here to protect our Tradition," spat Anselme. "I won't stand idly by and allow this staff in the hands of a disgrace like you, De Vannes and don't you go believing you can stand as one of us. You will not get away with this!"
"And what do you intend to do about it?" asked Thierry defiantly, to Harry's utter surprise.
"Do not defy me, you insulant child!" exclaimed Anselme, furiously.
"Hector!" shouted Wilhelm on a warning tone. "As Thierry said, there's nothing you can do about it. The boy is an Initiate now and your position is still in question."
"You have no authority to order me, Wilhelm," spat Anselme. "And this boy won't become an Initiate. He's only sixteen. He has always gone against the rules…"
"You mean your rules, Hector," said Dumbledore. "Walter condemned the way you acted toward pupils and Walter has passed on his staff to Thierry."
"Why don't you mind your own business, old fool!" snapped Anselme. "If you had honoured your word, Walter would be alive, now…"
"You watch your mouth, Anselme!" shot Harry. "Walter died defending Merlin's Staff, and if YOU had been a little braver, maybe he wouldn't have needed to give his life for it."
"And you ruined his efforts!" shouted Anselme. "Now the Staff is gone!"
"It's back in its true place," said Kenneth, standing up in anger. "It is because of fanatics like you that the peril existed in the first place! The Staff should never have been kept in this world. It's people like you that prevented the Staff from going with Merlin!"
"That is what YOU say!" countered Anselme.
"Oh, please, someone shut this guy up!" said Kenneth, looking up to the ceiling with an exasperate sigh. "You're disgusting. You've been proven wrong by your mentor, your enemies and the events. And still you refuse to face the truth!"
"Will this boy be allowed to meddle in adult business?" spat Anselme.
"Adult business?" shot back Thierry. "You have to follow more what transpired, Anselme. It's Kenneth who prevented the Staff from falling into the hands of the Warlocks. Where were you?"
Anselme was shut up by this. He glared at Thierry.
"And why are you so aggressive, Anselme?" Alexander asked pointedly. "Maybe you were hoping to get your hands on Merlin's Staff, someday?"
Anselme's eyes looked like they could kill. Right then, Harry knew that his friend had guessed right.
"How dare you suggest…" Anselme began.
Harry was about to retort but Thierry beat him to it.
"He's not so wrong, is he?" he cut him. "You may serve our goal, but still, deep inside, you still want to have some power on your own. Was it why you enjoyed trying to control my life? Is that why you never ceased to hate me? I never bowed before you, like the others did, even Colville and worst of all, Master Walter liked that."
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" roared Anselme.
"Why not?" Thierry shot back, his tone rising in anger. "I have been entrusted with the Codex and Walter gave me his Staff. It means my Master considers me ready to face the World. It's the oldest tradition of the Order. You have nothing to say that will change that."
"I am the one who decides…"
"No, you're not!" snapped Thierry. "Master Walter brought me into the Order. He was my Mentor. That means his word overthrows your authority. Besides, you're not the one dealing with students anymore. You won't get to me, this time, Anselme. And this Staff doesn't belong to you. You want Walter's staff instead of Merlin's?"
Thierry suddenly tossed the Staff to Anselme, who caught it, before he fell on the ground.
"All yours, if you can keep it," said Thierry, his eyes like slits.
Anselme held the staff for a moment, but a shock ran through the wood, he let go of it with a little cry of rage. The staff floated back to Thierry's hand.
"So that settles it," said Thierry. "The staff is mine. Now if you ever touch me again, I swear that I'll show you that I can use it."
"This is an outrage! Violence within the Brotherhood shouldn't be tolerated…"
"You're the one who brought violence within our brotherhood, Hector!" cut Wilhelm. "Maybe you're hoping that the death of Master Walter would clear you of all charges, but I maintain those. And you'll be judged by the Brotherhood."
Thierry made just one step toward Anselme.
"And be sure I'll do everything to ensure that you will never get near any Novice of our Order. That is if you don't get into jail for what you have done."
"And who will teach the Novices?" asked Anselme. "You?"
"No," said Thierry. "Wilhelm will. But honestly, as brilliant as Wilhelm is, anyone would be better than you. But I'm not ready. As you love to underline it, I'm only sixteen. But you won't oppress the students again. You mark my words."
"Now, Hector, please get out of this office," said Dumbledore. "We didn't put you back into your cell, because of the events of last night. But I must inform you that my patience is weakening, now."
Anselme began to stammer in rage.
"You…"
"OUT!" hollered Dumbledore, standing up.
And Harry suddenly remembered the powerful wizard that was ruling this school. The way he was using authority was impressive. He couldn't help but smile.
Anselme walked back to the door, and with one last dark look at Thierry, left the office.
"So, where were we?" asked Dumbledore, on a casual tone, and resuming his seat.
"We were speaking about Ian," said Alexander.
"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "I don't think we should give any points to the students, regarding the events of last night. Ian could feel bad about being congratulated."
"You're right, Sir," said Harry.
"I hope you won't be too disappointed, Mr Lionheart," said Dumbledore.
Kenneth chuckled and shook his head.
"Ah yes," said the Headmaster. "I forgot your disposition 'the less points I gain, the less attention I catch, the better'. In this case, I can't say it doesn't help me. You will still receive a reward for special services to the school, though. So will you, Thierry."
"If you must," said Thierry with a shrug.
"Speaking of Ian," said Harry. "How is Kieran?"
Kieran slowly opened her eyes. She felt so weak. She could see the ceiling of the now familiar Hospital Wing. She had to be back at the school, if she wasn't dreaming. But the fact she was questioning reality proved that she was alive. So she had been rescued, obviously.
Ian.
The name echoed in her mind immediately. It had to be him. He had come to her aid. He had saved her, like she knew he would. So if she was here, he had to be fine, because that would be the worst thing to have survived and have had lost him forever.
They couldn't be parted like that, that wasn't possible. He had to be alive!
The thought was almost spinning hysterically in her head. She began to look around her, and saw her arm wrapped in bandages. She remembered the pain of the blade entering her arm, the horrific sensation of the blood flowing out of her. Then she remembered how she had plunged into darkness, with only one name in her mind.
Ian.
The memory made her spine shiver in fear, but who she saw next chased away the shadows of her mind.
He was there! Sitting in a chair next to her bed, Ian was asleep. His breath was regular and he looked alright, even if his face was tired… So tired... He looked like he had seen and been through something terrible, but he wasn't injured at all, apparently.
Kieran felt happiness sweep over her. He was so cute when he was asleep! She took a moment to just gaze at him and it brought a smile to her face. Then she tried to move. Her arm hurt her and she couldn't help a groan.
Ian shifted position in his chair, and then he opened his eyes. Kieran smiled weakly.
He gave her a smile back, but his eyes betrayed a look of concern.
"Hey," he said. "Sleeping Beauty is back among us?"
"You were the one asleep just now," said Kieran, with a weak smile.
"After two days, nothing surprising," said Ian, with a grin.
Such a sad smile… What has happened? Kieran wondered.
"Two days?" she repeated.
"You lost a lot of blood," said Ian. "So we had to keep you asleep to help you recover, but now you will be fine."
"Where is Wagner?" she asked.
Ian's faced darkened a little. Kieran felt that was the main problem.
"He's dead," he said.
Kieran noticed his expression. Her throat constricted when she suspected what had happened to Wagner.
"Did you…?"
Ian nodded. Kieran was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of horror. Because of her, Ian had been pushed to kill. She couldn't imagine what it could feel like. She felt tears coming to her eyes.
"I'm so sorry," she said.
Ian reacted immediately. He reached for her hand, and leaned closer to her.
"No, no, no," he said. "Don't be. None of it is your fault."
"I chased after him," said Kieran. "If I hadn't, maybe…"
"It was all part of his plan," said Ian. "He was supposed to expose our weaknesses and allow an attack. Even if he hadn't gone after you, he would have hurt someone else."
"But you wouldn't have faced him," said Kieran as she looked down. "You came for me. I knew you would. If only I hadn't…"
"Kieran, enough," said Ian, forcing Kieran to look at him. "I'm just glad you're alright. I… I thought you were dead, for a moment, there, when I saw you lying there, surrounded in blood. I lost all control. I couldn't think anymore."
"I'm alright, Ian," she said, sensing this was important to him. "I swear, I'm fine, now."
Ian nodded, but she could tell it was still eating at him.
"Is... I mean, did the Aurors...?" she began.
"No," he said, glumly. "There won't be any charges. They all say it was self-defence..."
"Ian, what about you? How do you feel?" she asked.
Ian's face closed a little more. He shook his head slowly.
"I don't know," he said. "The only thing I did care about until now was to make sure you would be okay. It took my mind off the rest. So, in a way, I just don't know… I guess I feel … bad."
Right before her eyes, she saw his composed mask fall away, and he collapsed on the bed, his head on Kieran's lap, sobbing.
Kieran tried her best to comfort him. It hurt her to see him like that. No one deserved to feel that way, but Ian least of all people. He had saved her, she knew that. He had always been there for her and for others. He didn't deserve to feel that bad.
Kieran's hand reached his head, and she began to stroke his hair, as gently as she could.
"It'll be okay, Ian," she said. "I promise you. It'll be okay."
It took some time for him to calm down.
While he had been cleared right after the first night, Ian only left the Hospital wing when he was assured that Kieran was going to be better. His deep concern for her was certainly genuine, but Kieran suspected that he was also focusing on her that much to keep his mind from returning to that night. She couldn't blame him. She couldn't begin to understand what he must be feeling.
Her own nights were far from restful, to be honest. Since she had woken up in the Hospital Wing, she had been unable to get a full night sleep, waking up in fear and anguish, drenched in sweat, gasping in panic, thinking she was back in the cabin, with the blade stabbing at her arm again and again. In those moments, only the face of Ian in her mind and the thought that he had come for her could help her regain her calm and return to sleep. She was trying to act as if it wasn't bothering her. Madam Pomfrey was no fool, but she at least had managed to convince her friends that she was fine. Ian probably wouldn't have fallen for it, but in his current state, nothing could stop him from worrying for her. The school nurse actually insisted it was better this way. While he was focusing on her, it gave him time to recuperate before he would have to confront the events of that awful night.
Meanwhile, the school was resuming its normal life, even if though Walter's death was a dark cloud over the setting. Despite being a discreet man, Walter Amanio had left a lasting impression on students and teachers alike. The old master wouldn't be forgotten, but life had to go on.
Confined to her bed to recover, Kieran had received many visits, mostly friends who were so relieved to see her well that they went out of their way to cheer her up. It helped, to be honest, and Kieran felt grateful. Her parents had shown up, of course, notified by Dumbledore of the events. She learned that Ian's parents had visited, but while she had been asleep. Kieran's mother had put on a brave face, like her Dad, but Kieran could tell they were shaken. Her adventure last year hadn't caused too much tension back home. She guessed they hadn't realised the risks she had actually taken, when she had rushed into the Maze of Era. But now, they knew she had nearly died. And even if they didn't make too much of a fuss to spare her, she could feel that they were worried.
She didn't blame them for their concern. She still hadn't fully processed it, either. Taking risks and joining Ian on his adventures had been one thing, until now. Now, she realised that death was a possibility. That was disturbing, for a girl her young age. People tended to forget that Kieran was still young. It was partly her fault, too. Her wit and her knowledge had done a lot to convince herself and the people around her that she could deal with way more than the usual issues faced by a fourteen-year-old girl. The truth was ugly, in that regard. She hadn't been ready for this. She hadn't been ready to face death at the hands of that monster, who had stolen the face of a poor young boy. She didn't see it as a failure. She reasoned that no one was actually ready for that. Like no one was actually ready to deal with taking someone's life.
Kieran's issues and fears were one thing, but her worry for Ian was a constant distraction. The sight of Ian crying on her bed had been so awful. To her, Ian had always dealt through hard times with a smile on his face. That had been such a fixture in her life, so far... to see him so desperate was like… unnatural. It was heart-wrenching, too. She couldn't bear to see him like that.
The worst was that she didn't even know what had truly happened. She had to wait until Hermione Weasley's visit to find out. The Arithmancy teacher came and sat next to her bed one morning.
"I wanted to see if you were alright," said the Professor. "I would have dropped by sooner, but I wanted to be sure not to bother you."
"You don't bother me at all, Ma'am," said Kieran.
"You have been in so much trouble already," sighed the professor, almost to herself. "You gave me the fright of my life, you know."
"What?"
"I was the one to find you right after Ian did," said the teacher. "For a moment there, I feared that you had left us."
"What happened?" asked Kieran. "Either people don't know about it, or they won't tell me. What happened to Ian? Did he really kill this man?"
"I don't know if man is an accurate term for this creature," said Professor Weasley. "And to answer your question, yes, Ian did kill him. But he didn't murder him."
"I'm not sure I understand," said Kieran.
"I was out cold, when it happened, to be honest, but Orlando witnessed the whole scene," Professor Weasley explained gravely. "When we found you, Ian believed you were dead. He went berserk and literally flew after the spy. He caught up with him in a clearing, and he did want to kill him. I know he did. He said so himself. I don't know what happened, there. Maybe something got him back to his senses, but in the end, Ian didn't kill him. When I got there, the spy was alive and Ian was shaking in horror. I think he was terrified by what he had been about to do."
"So he didn't kill him!" exclaimed Kieran. "Why does everyone…"
"It is not that simple," said Professor Weasley. "Because when we reached Ian, the spy got the drop on Orlando and me. He snatched Ian's wand. He cursed Orlando, then he cursed me and knocked me out. Ian stepped between him and us. He managed to stop him from using a killing curse on me and retrieved his wand. But then the spy pulled your stolen wand out of his robes. I guess he took it from you when he abducted you. He aimed a blasting curse at my head. Ian blocked it and the collision of spells caused an explosion that sent the man flying to a tree. He was impaled on a branch and he died. So Ian caused this, but it wasn't murder."
"So, it was self-defence," said Kieran.
"It was. No, more accurately, he was saving my life, because that spell was aimed at me," said Professor Weasley. "I can't tell you how grateful I am to him. He did save my life. That's what I told him, Dumbledore, the Aurors, and anyone who asked. Orlando witnessed it, it has been verified. Ian is not in trouble, nor should he be, but he is still feeling the guilt."
"But he…"
"Kieran, I know," said Professor Weasley. "He had no choice, and, to be fair, in his position, many would have simply killed the spy. My husband would have if he was there. He shouldn't blame himself, really. But still, a man died and Ian thinks it was by his hand. He believes he's responsible. I'd say that, in a way, it's reassuring."
"Reassuring? Have you seen the state he's in?" said Kieran, scandalized.
"You have to understand our concern, Kieran," said Professor Weasley, very seriously. "We always knew that Ian could kill. It's a reality that Alexander understood even before he started to have pupils. He knows, and we all know that Chaos Magic is powerful, dangerous... and potentially deadly. All magic is, in itself, but there is virtually no limit to what a wizard can accomplish with the power of Chaos. Ian is potentially one of the most powerful beings in the world, right now. Imagine how things would turn, if Ian had no regret at all. What would it be like, if Ian started to kill freely, because he felt no guilt? He would be ten times worse than Voldemort. The fact he punishes himself like that, however sad it is, is a good sign. Ian has a conscience, a very sensitive one. We are lucky to see such a power in such hands."
Kieran considered it. She realised that the Professor was right. She had known for a long time that Ian could kill. His constant worry last year, when his powers were out of control, had been enough to convince her. So, to the people who were teaching and training him, the sign of his conscience had to be reassuring. But she still worried about his depression.
"Of course, as healthy as it is in principle, this guilt mustn't consume him," said Professor Weasley, echoing her thoughts. "Right now, we could say that Ian is learning a harsh lesson, and once he has accepted it, what will remain is a line that he will not cross willingly. The guilt will probably never disappear. One never really gets over killing someone else, unless one is a heartless monster, but the pain will fade. It has to fade, for Ian's balance and you will have to help him with that."
Kieran suddenly realised the responsibility weighing on the shoulders of Hogwarts' faculty. They had to deal with incredible power and the behaviour of those who wielded it. So yes, she understood her Professor's worry. She nodded.
"I will help him," she said.
"I know you will," said professor Weasley. "I know you, Kieran, and I know the kind of girl you are. You know, you do remind me a lot of someone."
"Who?" asked Kieran, puzzled.
"Me, not so long ago," said Professor Weasley, with a smile. "When I was your age, I was all about learning and helping my friends and you proved that you are all about that, as well."
"Thanks, Professor," said Kieran.
"I'm not sure it's such a compliment," said Professor Weasley. "I was said to be a hopeless bookworm in those years."
"Yeah, well, there isn't anything actually wrong in being a bookworm, you know," said Kieran, smiling.
"No there isn't," said the young teacher. "I'm not worried too much about you, either."
She stood up and prepared to leave. Kieran reached for her hand.
"Thank you, Professor," she said.
"You know, I can't get used to you calling me Professor," said the Teacher. "With your extraordinary intelligence, I feel more like talking to a friend more than talking to a pupil. Maybe you should call me Hermione. I'd feel more at ease."
"Are you sure?" asked Kieran.
"As sure as I can be," said Hermione with a smile. "Get some rest now, Kieran. You need it."
Kieran nodded and Hermione walked out of the Hospital Wing. Kieran looked at her walk away. She was right. Ian would need her soon. And she had to be there. So she forced herself into sleep. Just like in the days of exams, she emptied her mind, blocking any thought of the woods and the face of Wagner, instead choosing on thinking of Ian's.
Soon she was asleep. Mercifully, she was spared her nightmares, this time.
Hogwarts was a curious beast, one could say.
The rumour mill in the school could spin out of control, impossible to reign in. The slightest anecdote could be turned into a storm of gossip, with rumours running through the student body, with a conception of the truth that was, sometimes, puzzling. The most trivial of events caused the wildest and the most ludicrous discussion.
Yet, whenever serious events took place, such as the attack that had caused Walter Amanio's death, rumours tended to stay behind reasonable limits, even without Ian's usual tampering or without the teachers stepping in to put a stop to the wildest accounts. Somehow, the school kept a firm hold on itself, when it really needed to.
That was a bit reassuring, when it came to human nature, to be honest.
Ian wasn't speaking about what happened, which came as no surprise at all. And at first, most students hadn't known what had happened in the woods. But then, as secret had been impossible to keep on this, given an official inquiry had been necessary. Soon, everyone knew what had happened to Ian and looks did follow him through the school.
Terry and Ian's friends were serious about making sure that no one would come to bother Ian about this. Likewise, Kenneth had personally insisted on the whole of Gryffindor House that the whomever tried and to ask Ian about this would be dealing with him.
The same was done in most houses and even Donahue warned the Slytherins. This was too serious a business to let his feelings interfere. At no time was it to be treated as a laughing matter.
Kenneth was almost thankful to Donahue for his attitude. Well, he wasn't that thankful, but even he had to admit that was decent of the Slytherin prefect.
In the middle of the week that followed Ian's release from the Hospital Wing, Dumbledore summoned Kenneth to his office.
There, he was joined by Thierry and a very gloomy Ian. Kenneth felt a twinge of worry for his young friend. The usually smiling face was now closed and looking tired. Kenneth could understand that.
He was himself haunted by the details of that night: the sight of Gareth falling into the flames, the scream of Lilia as her own curse burned off the flesh of her arm... He could easily imagine what Ian was going through. But he also knew that pity would be an insult for someone like Ian. He needed support and understanding, not pity.
So here they were, the three standing in front of Dumbledore's desk.
"It has been decided," said the old Headmaster. "That you would all receive a special reward for service to the school. Mr Lionheart, Mr De Vannes, it is in acknowledgment of your bravery against the Warlocks, that has helped to protect a very important artefact and to avert a terrible threat."
He turned to Ian. His eyes were sad when he looked at him.
"As for you, Mr Malcolm, it is in reward of your rescue of Miss McDougall. Without your wits and decisions, she would be surely dead. The same goes for Professor Weasley. I know you may think you don't deserve anything."
"I just don't want it, Sir," said Ian.
Dumbledore's face turned a little older at the tone of Ian's voice. Kenneth could understand that reaction. This was almost shocking to notice the change that had taken place in Ian. He seemed so desperate right now. Kenneth turned to Thierry, who nodded sadly.
"If you would leave the two of us alone, please," said Dumbledore. "Kenneth, your father and your Order, Thierry, will be notified of this award."
Kenneth nodded and he and Thierry left the office, with a last look back to Ian.
Once they were alone, Dumbledore slowly stood up and walked around his desk. He leaned against it, gesturing to Ian to take a seat in front of him. Ian noticed the sadness in his eyes, and the Headmaster had never looked that old to him.
"I know that you feel bad, now, Ian," said Dumbledore.
"Shouldn't I?" asked Ian.
"True," said Dumbledore. "But you have to understand that you clearly had no other choices."
"How do you know that?" asked Ian bitterly. "You weren't there."
"I happen to know most of the things happening on Hogwarts grounds," said Dumbledore. "In this case, your mentor's uncanny ability for Magicometry was really useful. You already know about that gift. The fact Alexander can read a place where magic had been used, and read the past. He has seen the whole sequence of events and he reported it to me, through a Pensieve memory. I saw what happened, Ian, and I insist on telling you that you had no other choice, if you wanted to save Professor Weasley and Orlando. This is very important for you to believe that."
Ian raised his eyes to look at Dumbledore. He sighed.
"So why am I feeling this bad?" he asked.
"It is not that mysterious," said Dumbledore. "You have done something you refuse to consider as right, in which you're partly correct. The taking of human life if abhorrent to decent human beings, and it haunts you. It proves that you're a good person, since you regret your actions. But I insist again on the fact that these actions were really necessary. Sometimes the thing to do isn't easy, or clean."
"So you're okay with that?" asked Ian, suddenly disgusted.
"No, Ian, I am not "okay" with that," said Dumbledore. "And neither are you. It sets us apart from people like this spy, Voldemort, or Grindelwald. I have seen war, Ian. I've seen many ugly things. Some of them were unavoidable. Sadly, so was what happened to you."
"I can't accept that," said Ian.
"I know. But, eventually, you will have to," said Dumbledore. "I'm sorry if I can't be more of help. I wish I could erase your pain with a wave of my hand or my wand, but that wouldn't do you any good. One has to learn to understand the price of their actions, and now I know you can see to what lengths Magic or life can take you. I'm truly sorry that you had to learn that lesson so early and so harshly. This is a terrible test for you, Ian. But believe me, you did the right thing. You need to understand that, as well."
Ian looked away and saw Fawkes who was preening his feathers with his elegant beak. The sight of the bird wasn't bringing him any comfort. He turned again to Dumbledore.
"I'm not sure it will be enough for my conscience, Sir," he said.
"I know," said Dumbledore. "Now, only time can help you to accept what…"
"I can't accept what I did! I killed him! Don't you understand? I killed him!" Ian shouted, standing up in agitation.
"You decide to see it that way, Ian," said Dumbledore, "no matter what the teachers of this school keep repeating to you. I know many of them talked to you. I know Professor Weasley insists on reassuring you, I know that Professor Potter is quite proud of you, and also of your guilt."
"He's proud of my guilt?" repeated Ian, angrily.
"He is," said Dumbledore, "because that guilt makes you different from the one who died that night. You refused to execute this man, while you could have. Right now, you are punishing yourself for the death that saved Professor Weasley's life. This is the sign that your heart is noble. And Harry respects that."
Ian was stunned by that.
"So as long as I regret…"
"You are no criminal, Ian," said Dumbledore. "Remorse and regrets are sane for us, humans. Your guilt is normal, and to be honest, it is reassuring. I would be frightened if someone with your power would start to kill without any kind of remorse. That is not what happened. You've been close to that. You had the choice. And you took the right path."
Ian thought that maybe he was right. Maybe he had no other choice. But his deepest fear was exactly what Dumbledore had implied. His power. He was one of the most powerful wizards in the world. This adventure had revealed this to him. It had showed to him that he could do the worst. He could kill. And that idea was leading to a question. Who was he? What kind of person held that power? Was he a future Voldemort? Would he begin to kill at will, just because he could? The thought terrified him.
Dumbledore looked right into Ian's eyes.
"You will need rest and time to think, Ian," he said. "And if you want to speak about this, you can come here whenever you want. You may go, if your ready."
And he patted him on the shoulder before to walk around his desk again. Ian felt reassured by this touch. Maybe he was still Ian. Maybe that thing he had done hadn't changed him. He hoped so.
Slowly, Ian headed to the office's door. He turned for one last look, and he saw a tear in Dumbledore's eye. A tear of sadness and worry for him, he was sure of that. He was lucky to have met this extraordinary man.
Harry Potter was brave, Alexander was powerful, but still there was something that made Albus Dumbledore unique in the whole world: such wisdom and such care at the same time were uncanny.
Ian walked out of the Head Office and descended the stairs, heading toward the Nest.
In the aftermath of his rescue of Merlin's Staff, Thierry had been confirmed as an Initiate by the Brotherhood. Anselme has been taken away by Brothers who had come to carry Walter's body back to Brocéliande, where he would be buried near the stele used as the memorial for Merlin. According to the high authorities of the Order, he deserved that privilege.
A week before the end of term, the Brotherhood's Novices had to take their leave for the burial of Walter. The entire school gathered in the Entrance hall to see them off. The Novices wore the robes they had when they had arrived, more ornate than the ones they carried daily, as they had gathered around Wilhelm. Thierry's robes were different, though. Gone were the black trimmings of penance he had worn when Kenneth had first seen him. Gone was the light beige of the Novice robes. Now he wore the deeper brown of the Initiates, trimmed in gold.
The students who had been the Novices' closest friends had stepped closer to say their goodbyes. Jeremy Wats shook hands with Kenneth and Raphaella kissed him on the cheek. Given the way those two acted around each other, Kenneth suspected that something had changed. When Raphi caught Jeremy's hand in hers, he smiled, glad to be proven right. When Orlando came to face him, he smiled and bumped fists with him, as he had been taught by Joel, the Quidditch player.
Soon, they were all ready to go, except for Thierry who was hugged by many Gryffindors. Gillian came over to kiss his cheek, too, before walking away, noticed the glare that came from Mandy. She shared a look with Kenneth and smiled knowingly at the Gryffindor girl's possessiveness.
Kenneth then faced Thierry, smiling sadly.
"So, time to go, huh?" he asked.
"Yes," said Thierry. "Now that the Staff is safe, we can return to our Sanctuary. Without Gareth to open the way, the Warlocks can't breach our defences again. Besides, with the Staff gone, I doubt they would take the risk. We have some rebuilding to do, and we must take care of Master Walter's funeral."
"I'm so sorry for Walter," said Kenneth, for the hundredth time.
"He died bravely," said Thierry, keeping his voice firm. "He'll be honoured by generations. We will never forget him, so, in a way, he'll always be with us."
Kenneth nodded. Thierry could be so deep sometimes it was scary! Kenneth looked at the staff Thierry held in hand, symbol of his legacy. Walter's Staff hadn't shrunk an inch since Thierry was holding it. The young Initiate's experience was now enough for the power of the Staff to be complete. This didn't surprise Kenneth, even if everyone else was impressed by that.
"So, what are you going to do, now?" Kenneth asked. "The Staff of Merlin isn't in need of protection anymore."
"Yes," said Thierry. "But the Staff was but one artefact. We have knowledge to protect, and we still must study and watch over the Codex. Walter entrusted me with this task. I'll be his successor. I'll carry on his work. The Order will go on with its studies."
"This is a noble task," said Kenneth.
"This is the task that will last a lifetime," said Thierry with a radiant smile. "I found that my path is laid out ahead of me."
"I'm glad, then," said Kenneth.
He held out his hand. Thierry ignored it and pulled him into a hug. Then he put his wrist on Kenneth's, linking the two unicorn heads.
"That means we're linked, Kenneth. So this is never over, right?" he said.
"Right," answered Kenneth, his smile a little more cheerful.
"Goodbye, my friend," he said. "And thank you. You've changed my life."
"So did you," said Kenneth. "Take care of yourself."
"Don't worry about it," said the young Initiate with a grin. "We'll meet again. I'm sure."
"Of course, we will," nodded Kenneth.
Next in line, Julie hugged Thierry as well as they shared parting words in French. She had apparently promised to visit Brocéliande over the summer, since she would be staying in Brittany, at her Uncle's safe house.
When the two parted, Thierry turned to Kenneth and his look turned very meaningful. He pulled Kenneth aside for a second, before to whisper something in his ear.
"Now if you're done being a stubborn ass about this, you know what you have to do, right?" he said.
"Easier said than done," Kenneth retorted under his breath.
"Right," said Thierry. "Kallie's right, you do over complicate things," he added with a smile.
Kenneth chuckled.
Then Thierry followed his cloaked brothers as they filed up to exit the hall, under the eyes of many students. He turned one last time to look around. Kenneth saw him exchange one look with Mandy. The young girl winked at the young monk. Thierry smiled and winked back, making Mandy chuckle. That was the first time Kenneth ever see him wink. Maybe it was true, and this place had changed Thierry's life.
The Brotherhood of Merlin left Hogwarts. Kenneth was sure he would see Thierry again. There was no need for secrecy anymore, now that the Staff was out danger. So there was no reason Kenneth and his friends couldn't visit Thierry.
So it made sense that this didn't feel like a farewell.
The students returned to their common rooms, and Kenneth walked outside for a bit of fresh air. He settled near his favourite tree, near the lake. As he lost himself in the contemplation of the shimmering waters of the lake, he thought of the changes in his life, this year, and the parting words of Thierry, who had turned into one of his closest friends, in the course of a school term.
He thought back to the look he saw, when Julie had walked away with Jennifer, after seeing the Brothers off. She was hesitant, maybe hopeful, but largely uncertain.
What was he supposed to do about that?
With a self-deprecating grin, he did admit that, right now, Thierry was right: he was being more stubborn than actually angry at her. Her support through the crisis hadn't gone unnoticed. Her words, just before he had gone to the Sanctuary, had struck very close to his heart. True, she had messed up, and she had hurt him, but, if he was honest with himself, it didn't change one very simple fact, and that fact left him with only one thing to do.
Julie was still trying to sort out her feelings about recent events. Sadness at Walter's death, horror at what Ian was now forced to go through were battled by the huge relief it had been to see Kieran safely recovered and Kenneth returned unharmed from his battle, despite the frightening vision of Lilia's killing curse.
At Kalindra's firm command, Kenneth had been forced to explain to his year what had exactly transpired in the Sanctuary. His account had been as simple as possible, to the point where Thierry had to step in, annoyed, to tell everyone that Kenneth had been essential in saving Merlin's Staff from the Warlocks, going as far as using its power himself, before giving it up to its rightful owner.
If Julie had ever needed to be convinced of the worth of Kenneth Lionheart, well, she didn't anymore. That young man was simply amazing.
But her main concern had been the way her vision had unfolded, in reality. The duel had been real; the fight between Kenneth and Lilia had been vicious and extraordinary, according to Thierry, since Kenneth had wielded both staff and wand to face the High Priestess. All of what Julie had seen had been true. Lilia had kept taunting Kenneth about his treacherous cousin, something Julie had still trouble admitting. Gareth Lionheart had her fooled like everyone else. It was incredible to think he had sunk that low.
Then Thierry told Julie how Lilia had aimed a killing curse at him, then Kenneth slashed her wand open with his fire whip. Now she was beyond impressed. That wasn't a lucky shot. That was an incredibly lucky shot and the scream had been Lilia's. Coming to think of it, the voice in Julie's vision could have been anyone, really.
She had to bring it up with Wroxton, of course. Which had brought her to her office, right now.
"So that vision was actually fulfilled," said Wroxton.
"Yes," said Julie. "Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I thought. It still gave me quite a fright but, I am left with something to consider."
"What is that?" asked Wroxton.
"Given how much these vision tend to scare me," said Julie, "I'm quick to believe the worse in each of them. How can I get that under control?"
"You mean: 'how do I keep my emotions under control to use my gift wisely'?" asked Wroxton.
"Yes," said Julie. "I can't rely on them. Not now. Not when they still lead me to assume the worst. I've made enough of a mess with them, as it is."
"Only time and patience, Julie," said Wroxton, kindly. "You are sixteen. You can't be asked to be a wise oracle, right now. No one really is. Divination is not something you ever control completely. Your Sight can fade away or it can grow stronger, in time. The only thing you can do is try to make the most of them. True, you are shown vivid scenes. You can learn to keep calm about what you see, to go beyond the fear. It will take time. You have made mistakes, but now you have learned and in the heat of the moment, you have managed to use your Sight to help."
"Have I?" said Julie.
"You saw the attack on Hogsmeade, and your intervention probably saved a lot of people," said Wroxton. "and you came to Mr Malcolm with insight that you got from a flash, during a frantic search. That insight allowed him to find Miss McDougall, and I have no doubt that it was only because he was so quick in finding her that she is still alive."
Julie paused to consider it. It was true. Finally, some good had come from her visions. She smiled.
"And, when in doubt, share," said Wroxton. "You have friends. The burden of your visions doesn't have to be solitary. You can ask your brave friends to help you see through the meaning of these visions. You don't need to take on Fate on your own and you can always reach out to me. I will be there to help you."
"I appreciate it," said Julie.
"Oh, it's nothing, Julie," said Wroxton, grinning. "I was bored at home, anyway, and it's always fun to be around a true seer."
"You and I have very different notions of fun," said Julie, wryly.
"Of course, we do," said Wroxton. "That's because I have experience, Julie. In time, you'll find your fun in the most surprising places."
Julie was feeling a lot better, when she parted ways with her teacher, who had, incredibly, become more of a friend and a confident, now.
As she walked out of the office, she walked into someone else who had been a good friend to her, during these trying times.
Ginny Weasley saw her and gave her a smile.
"Honestly," she said. "I'm gone for five minutes..."
Julie let out a chuckle. Miss Weasley hadn't been in the castle either for the attack or the abduction of Kieran. She had been very distraught about the death of Master Amanio, but she decided to focus her worry on Kieran, Ian, and surprisingly, Julie.
"So, did Desideria offer good wisdom, today?" asked the redhead, walking beside Julie.
"Fairly good, yeah," said Julie. "I have work ahead of me. And I shouldn't shoulder it all alone."
"Good stuff, that," noted Weasley. "She does justify her wages."
"Apparently, she doesn't get paid," said Julie helpfully.
"Free advice is good, too," said Miss Weasley, smiling. "So, apart from that? How are you doing?"
"Better," said Julie. "Well, at least, right now, I have done what I could to set things right."
"Kenneth is still not talking to you, huh?" she said.
"It's not that bad," said Julie. "It's more... he's been preoccupied, with Thierry leaving the castle, debriefings with the Aurors, looking out for Ian."
"Yeah, he tends to do that, looking out for others," said Miss Weasley. "and Ian clearly needs his friends, right now."
Julie nodded, sombrely.
"At least, he knows the truth, now," said Julie nonchalantly . "All of it."
"He'll come around, I'm sure," said Miss Weasley. "Don't worry too much."
Julie smiled gratefully. They were about to part ways, as the reporter climbed to her apartments, and Julie headed towards the common room. Julie felt she needed to seize the moment, since the year was about to end.
"Miss Weasley?" she called.
"Ginny," said the older woman. "At this point, Julie... Ginny, really."
Julie smiled.
"Ginny," she corrected. "I wanted to thank you. Your support, through this year... I mean, I'm not sure I would have managed to fix any of my mess without you."
"Weasley rule number forty-seven," said Ginny, with a grin. "Lionesses stick together."
"Forty-seven?" said Julie. "How is something that important so far in the numbers?"
"I'm the first Weasley girl in a looong time," said Ginny. "My brothers hogged the numbering of Weasley rules for quite a while before I got to add my own. Don't be fooled, the latest are the best."
She winked as Julie chuckled. On that, they went on their way and Julie reached the Fat Lady's painting, and entered the common room. Seeing her favourite chair empty, she was about to go fetch the book she was currently reading to sit back down and enjoy the end of the afternoon.
After climbing the stairs, she pushed the door to her dorm open. Kalindra raised her eyes from a parchment and smiled when she saw her.
"You've got mail," she said, simply, leading Julie to look at her bed.
Her heart skipped perhaps a handful of beats.
There, on her bed, a letter was resting against the pillow. She knew that letter very well: It was Kenneth's letter, the one she had never read, the one she had given back to him. It was back on her bed, and only a little scribbled group of words on the envelope showed a difference.
Trembling, she took it, noticing a knowing smile hovering on Kalindra's lips.
She nearly choked, when she read the words. That was Kenneth's handwriting.
Read it. It's not like anything in this is ever going to change, anyway.
Kalindra slipped out of the dorm without Julie noticing, as she slowly sat on her bed, uncertain that she could even open the envelope. The tremble of her hands made opening the letter nearly impossible. With a deep breath, she forced herself to get a grip on her nerves, before she managed to unfold the sealed parchment. With a sense of deep gravity, she read the words which had haunted her for the whole year. There on the page, she finally saw the answer to her doubts, to her guesses and her fears.
Tears welling up in her eyes, she began to read.
Julie,
I feel stupid by even writing this. I'm not very good at putting my feelings into words, and writing doesn't make it any easier. Merlin knows this must look pathetic, but the truth is: I'm lost. I've been lost since I left King's Cross.
I'll be blunt. That kiss blew me away but I haven't the slightest idea what it meant to you.
Were you grateful? Was it in thanks for what I did in the Maze? Does it mean more to you? Does it mean you like me? Does it mean you'll break up with Donahue? I don't dare to raise my hopes too high, and I know for a fact that I won't force anything on you, but I need to be honest with myself and with you.
I've been in love with you since the day we met on the Hogwarts Express. It took me long enough to figure it out, and by that time, you were already in a relationship. But I know it now. I love you.
I have no plan, no idea what to do, or what to expect and certainly no claim over you. I don't want you to feel like you owe me. That would be wrong on so many levels for me that I wouldn't even consider it. So if you don't feel the same, I'll understand, and I'll leave you alone, or remain your friend, if you allow me to. But it just needed to be said.
I love you, Julie Carteret, and until we see each other again, I remain yours,
Kenneth.
She felt curiously empty, now, as if her heart had been drained by the words. Weakly, she raised her hand to wipe a single tear from her cheek. So he did love her, then. She had truly hurt him deeply. His love had been sincere, and she had given him nothing but pain and deceit.
Would she ever be able to make proper amends with him? Julie couldn't dare to hope that he would ever forgive her and then she remembered the words that he had written on the envelope. She seized it and reread them over and over again. By returning that letter to her, he made a point. He said that his feelings hadn't changed. Slowly, delightfully, she allowed hope to fill her being.
Despite everything she had done, despite all of her mistakes and the lapses of judgement she had shown, Kenneth still said that he loved her.
She let herself drop onto her bed with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. Maybe she hadn't ruined everything after all. For the first time in days, Julie allowed herself a wide smile.
Ian was depressed.
Oh, he was able to laugh with his friends, and he was able to enjoy his time with them, but his mood had darkened, on the whole. He often found himself meditative, haunted by dark thoughts. His nights were restless at best, and his dreams left him reeling, each time he woke up with a start.
Things weren't getting any better. Of course, Dumbledore had done all he could to convince Ian that he had done the right thing, but Ian just couldn't see things that way. He had killed someone. Because, despite all that Professor Weasley said, Ian was convinced that he had meant to kill. Somewhere deep inside of him, he was sure that a way or another he would have killed that creature and to see this within wasn't something he liked at all.
The school was going through the motions. Exams were done, and after the ordeal, teachers felt the students needed some free time to process the year's events with their friends. But Ian often sought solitude. That also, even he could see it, was new.
One afternoon, as he was sitting against a tree, near the lake, Ian saw Alexander walk over to him. The Entropist didn't say a word. He just sat next to his pupil. They stayed silent for a long time, Alexander was waiting until Ian wanted to talk.
Ian finally sighed. He had avoided the subject with so many people, including Kieran, since that terrible confession at her bedside. But if he couldn't talk about this with Alexander, he couldn't talk with anyone.
"Do you think I'm evil?" he asked.
"Do you?" replied Alexander.
Ian realised that was the true question.
"I'm afraid I'm becoming evil," said Ian. "Getting used to killing, becoming like…"
"Like Lilia? Like Tanith? Morgenstein? Voldemort?" said Alexander.
"Something like that," said Ian.
"It is always possible," said Alexander. "But that would require a long, painful path down from where you are, right now. In my opinion, you're not on that path. You are far from it, and asking yourself that question should answer to it for you."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Evil never questions itself, Ian," said Alexander. "An evil person may question his methods, his plans, some of his goals, but never his nature. The absence of scruples is the sign of evil, Ian. You are endlessly wondering about what happened and your role back there, in the Forest. Was it wrong? Was it right?"
Ian nodded.
"That's not the real question, Ian," said Alexander, very seriously.
Ian raised his eyes to look at Alexander, surprised by these words. Alexander nodded, to make sure he was clear enough.
"Since you insist on refusing Dumbledore's explanation, you had a choice, back there," he said. "You just took the only acceptable option. Sometimes the situation is such as you can't get out with your conscience clean. The other options were worse than what you did."
"Were they?" said Ian.
"Yes," said Alexander. "You could have killed the spy just like that, without any regret or remorse, before Hermione found you. That would have been worse. You could have misjudged the spell you used to counter his attack on Hermione, and she could have died. You could have also stayed in the castle and then, Kieran would be dead. To save them, you had to act and you did. Your list of options was thin. You took the only one you could, at that very moment."
Ian turned to look at the lake, trying to let what Alexander was saying to sink in.
"Thanks to you, Lily won't grow without her mother," Alexander went on. "Thanks to you, Kieran will live on to become one of the greatest geniuses of the century."
"So you mean that the price for this was this fake Wagner's life?" asked Ian.
"No," said Alexander. "The price for it was the life of someone who was so evil he didn't hesitate to keep a child in a basement for a whole year, someone who didn't hesitate to threaten the lives of everyone in a school for a reward of gold, someone who had no conscience at all. It is a terrible price for you, Ian, because you're a good person. But trust me, if I had been in your place, I would have done the exact same thing."
"Would you?" asked Ian, on a sceptical tone.
"Yes," said Alexander earnestly. "Imagine if that mercenary had taken Phyllis as a hostage and threatened the life of Harry and Professor McGonagall. Being in your place, I would have done the same thing as you."
Ian started to believe it. Alexander wouldn't lie to him on such a matter. He didn't lie usually, so he wasn't likely to start now that things were getting really serious.
"He left you no choice, Ian," said Alexander. "You told him to give up, I know it. I went to the area and examined the events with magic. I saw what happened there. You were furious, enraged, because you thought that Kieran was dead. Still you controlled it. You refused to kill him and when he threatened Hermione, you told him to surrender. You did cast your spell only to stop him from killing Hermione. It was his own spell that killed this man. Did you really want to kill him?" asked Alexander.
"I... I don't know," said Ian.
"What was your thought when you sent that blast of energy at his spell?" asked Alexander.
"I... I did what I could to stop that blasting curse from hiting Professor Weasley," said Ian.
"If you really had wanted to kill him, wouldn't you have blasted him directly?" Alexander pointed out.
Ian thought a long time about it, and he came to the idea that it was probably true. He nodded.
"I guess I would have," he said.
"So that man died because he tried to kill Hermione," said Alexander. "This is very important. In a way, he made the choice. He made the decision. You only prevented him from killing someone. Ian, I want you to believe what I say. You haven't done anything wrong. Had you not faced an assassin, it would have gone differently."
"That's supposed to make me feel better, but..." said Ian, not really convinced of that, even if he started to believe that his Mentor was right.
"I won't lie to you, Ian," said Alexander, sadly. "It won't be right now. You will feel bad. As many had said before, as long as you have remorse, it means you're not evil. It's perfectly fine to have regrets, Ian. But later, I promise you, this thought will help you. Because you will know that you have done the right thing. You will have to live with it. I'm sure that will be soon. The young ones heal quicker than us, old things."
He was trying to sound cheerful, but Ian wasn't receptive.
"Are you sure about this?" asked Ian, on an almost desperate tone.
He had to feel that his Mentor believed what he said.
"That's something I know myself," said Alexander. "I lived through the same thing."
"You did?"
"Morgenstein," said Alexander. "I killed him in front of the Chaos Rift. It was the only thing I could do, to stop the rift from opening. The only difference with you, Ian, is that I meant to kill."
Ian looked at Alexander with a shocked expression.
"I cast a spell that was meant to disintegrate him. I did strike to kill. You didn't. I live with it now. And I'm really living happy with it, because I have my conscience to guide me. You, Ian, I can swear to you, you will get over this. You protected a friend, and nothing more."
Ian nodded. He could understand what Alexander was trying to say. He felt a huge wave of gratitude for his mentor. He had never doubted that Alexander cared for him more than Ian's power. Ian would never be alone on his journey on the search for the mastering of his power. He would always be watched by a wise man. That reassured him, because, right now, his journey appeared a lot darker.
I assume you can feel that it's coming to a close, now. the next one is the Epilogue.