Chapter seven

Over the next few months, a few things changed Harry. He had the odd night with Susie, saw Ginny less and only a couple of times a week and he had also slept with a few other women. Of course Ginny never knew and he never told Susie, but Harry knew she wouldn't care as she was just out for some fun.

Harry kept wondering why he was sleeping with other woman when he loved Ginny and they were planning on getting married. So he decided to talk to someone that he knew would keep information to himself. So after work one night, he went straight to Hogsmeade and into the small dark pub.

'Harry, this is a nice surprise unless is something dangerous.'

'Nothing like that Ab, but I was hoping to talk to you about something. So if it's alright, I can wait until you close up.'

'Which is in ten minute, why don't you go through and make yourself at home?'

'Thanks,' Harry walked through the back and into Aberforth's flat, Harry gave Arianna's picture a smile before he sat in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames, thinking about what he was doing and his life.

'So what's up Harry?' Aberforth poured them both a drink then sat down.

'Okay, you know I've been seeing Ginny for a couple of years now right?'

'Yes, it was all over the papers for a while, then about how you're engaged.'

'Yeah, but something has changed. See at first she wanted to live with me, I wanted to be alone. I just figured it was because I never had my own place or was even alone. It was the Dursleys, Hogwarts, the Burrow or hiding at Grimmauld Place and there were always people around. So Ginny understood, after a few fights that is. Then I started to think about why I wanted to take my time. See we started dating a few months before your brother died, then again straight after the fighting. It wasn't the best time to start a relationship, so I wanted to take things slow now we weren't always tense or in dangerous situations.'

'That's smart actually, because during the first war, lots of couples got married right after he disappeared then they didn't last long.'

'Ginny said her mother told her the same thing. Well one night I was helping a friend, a female friend, we ended up in bed and have a few more times. But over the last few weeks I've actually slept with a few other women. If I love Ginny and want to marry her, how can I cheat like that? I never thought I was the type of bloke to cheat on anyone.'

'First, let me ask you something. I know you dated some girl called Cho, but it only lasted a couple of weeks. Did you ever date any other girls before you started dating Ginny?'

'No, you know what my life was like Ab, wasn't a lot of time to think about those type of things no matter how hard I tried.'

'No you had a lot on your mind at the time. Then after the battle and some rest of course, you trained to be an auror and have been working nonstop, so again, not a lot of time to think about your personal life. Okay, you spent a lot of time with the Weasley's over the years, at their home, Hogwarts and even at Grimmauld Place, Ginny was always there and you knew she liked you right?'

'Right, she had for years before we got together.'

'You think of the Weasley's as your family as well, since you don't have a family.'

'Yeah, I do, so what are you getting at Ab?'

'I think you got with Ginny to make sure you stayed part of that family. After you lost Sirius, we all noticed how you never let yourself get close to Remus which surprised all of us because he was friends with your father. You didn't want to take the chance of losing anyone again. The Weasley family, including Ginny has always been there, you've been close to them, so it wasn't anyone new, just the family you've been with for years. I think you're fooled yourself into thinking you're in love with Ginny to stay a part of the family and it also protects you from getting close to anyone else which stops you getting hurt.'

Harry stared at Aberforth for a minute then took a drink before looking into the fireplace and thought about what the old man said.

'When I first started to have feelings for Ginny even up to the time your brother died, I know I cared about her. When I was away, I did miss her as well, I missed everyone, but most of the time I never thought about Ginny one way or another unless Ron brought up his family. Do you really think that's all it is, even if I do love her, I'm not actually in love with her?'

'Yes I do, if you were in love with a woman Harry, you would not be cheating on her because you aren't the type to cheat if you truly loved someone. Ginny's comfortable, familiar and she stopped you from getting close to someone else. You said you slept with this female friend, are you close to her, do you talk about personal things with her?'

'No, we do talk and we get on really well, but we don't bring anything personal into it, well apart from the sex that is. You know I don't even tell Ginny personal things. She doesn't know about a lot of things that Hermione and Ron know, like you, I found I could truly confide in you so you know more things than anyone else.'

'Did she ever ask about these things?'

'Yes, but I explained I wanted to put the last few years behind me and never bring it up again. She wasn't happy about that at first, then she seemed to accept that and never asked again.'

'Well we all know if you don't want to tell us something, you won't, she probably knows that and didn't want to push you in case you pushed her away. She's loved you for years, you see that and even though you care about her, a lot as well, I don't think you're in love with her, she's comfortable. If you were really in love with her, you'd be honest and open, you'd talk about personal things even if they are painful. A proper relationship is about love, yes, but it's also about being open and sharing everything, you don't do that with Ginny. But don't take my word on that, think things over, work it out for yourself. But I think when you do really consider everything I've said and look at how you've been towards her, you'll see I'm right.'

'I already think you're right, but I'm going to really think about all this. Man I'm in for a hexing when I break it off, her family won't be too happy either. Ginny always wanted to wait to have sex, she's old fashioned, marriage first. But we talked and since I said I wasn't looking at marriage for years, then I couldn't guarantee we didn't or it might make us break up. I left the decision up to her and at the time I never thought of going to anyone else, I was concentrating on becoming an auror. Ginny was the first girl I had sex with and only her until recently.'

'That again is why I think you believed you loved her, she was your first, were you her first?'

'Yes, she always wanted it to be me, she just figured it would be after we got married.'

'One more thing, you said sex, not made love. Now the few people I have spoken to about their sexual relationships either say sex if it's casual, nothing serious, or they say making love when there are in love. See what I mean Harry?'

Harry sighed, 'Yeah, I do, so I have a lot of thinking to do then work out how I'm going to tell her without hurting her too much. But you are right, she's familiar, comfortable, I do say sex, not making love, I never thought about that before. I already know her family will be pissed at me, they probably won't want anything to do with me after this. Blimey, this is not going to be nice.'

'If the Weasley family find this hard to accept, will you be able to cope if that happens? They have been your only family for years.'

'I don't know Ab and I already know it's going to hurt if that happens and I lose them. But if I stay with Ginny just because I don't want to lose her family, then I'll end up making us both unhappy in the long run. But everything you said makes a lot of sense, thanks Ab,' Harry gave him a weary smile.

'Anytime and since you know I keep things to myself you know you can talk to me about anything personal.'

'Yeah, I can, I wasn't sure at first, but we got to know each other over the last couple of years. After Sirius, I didn't really have a bloke to talk to. I talk to Hermione and Ron, Hermione about things like sex, Ron just gets too embarrassed, Hermione doesn't. But I did need a bloke to talk to and someone that would know what I was talking about and having someone not close to the Weasley's in any way helped a lot, there were no emotional attachment to them so you could give me advice without having family to worry about. That was one of the hardest things growing up without parents, not having them to talk to. I did talk to Arthur a lot, but for some reason I could never bring up anything personal and you'd think I would. He had six sons, so he's probably seen or heard it all.'

'You might think of them as family Harry, but you know their not. Then you were dating his daughter, so it's not something you would want to speak with the girl's father about.'

Harry chuckled, 'No, you're right, I couldn't tell Arthur anything about shagging his daughter. Well I better go and work out what I'm going to do,' Harry stood up with Aberforth and shook his hand, 'Thanks again Ab.'

'You're welcome, come see me again soon. You're good for business.'

Harry rolled his eyes, 'Oh don't start that again, but at least I do keep any dark witches and wizards out of your pub,' Harry grinned, then headed home to do some serious thinking.