Chapter eight

Over the next couple of weeks, Harry did think a lot about his life, about Ginny, the Weasley's and what he wanted. He realised everything Aberforth said was true, Ginny was comfortable. When she was at his place, they still had a nice time together, but when she was there Harry would watch her and he realised he wasn't in love with her even if he did love her just not enough to continue their relationship or have a future together. Now Harry realised he'd have to tell her, but he knew she wasn't going to take his news well at all. First though, Harry was going to talk to Hermione in private that way she could be there for Ginny after to give her some comfort. Harry sent Hermione and owl and asked if she could meet him at the Hogshead and not to tell Ron that he would explain when he saw her.

Harry stepped up to the door of the Hogshead, sighed, then opened the door. He gave Aberforth a nod then saw Hermione sitting at one of the tables.

'Harry,' Hermione gave him a kiss on the check, 'What's this all about Harry, you're being very secretive and I don't like to keep things from Ron.'

'I know Hermione and I'm sorry. The last few weeks I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life, but I've been thinking seriously because of something that started a couple of months ago.'

'I don't think I like the sound of this Harry, so just tell me.'

'This might shock you but I think once you hear me out you'll realise it's true. So I need you to listen carefully before you jump down my throat.'

'I will, now tell me what this is all about.'

'First I'll tell you what happened and this is what I mean about not jumping down my throat,' Harry sighed, 'I've been sleeping with a few other woman.'

'Harry,' Hermione glared, 'you're engaged to Ginny, so why would you cheat on her?'

'Okay, you know me better than anyone, you know everything about me, I never kept anything from you and I still won't. My life, from the time I started at Hogwarts I've been friends with Ron, then met the rest of the Weasley's and they basically became my family, you know all that. But you're a big part of that as well as you're with Ron, so you're my sister you could say and you are planning on marrying Ron so you will be a Weasley. I've become comfortable with my family, with the Weasley's, you, Ginny. You know why I never got close to Remus, you know I only stayed close to people like Neville and Luna even if I'm still friends with everyone else. I realised I didn't want to get close to anyone so I stuck with what I know and who I was already close too, the Weasley's.

'Ginny told me when we were first dating how long she had liked me and when she realised she loved me, long before we even started going out. All those times you told me about the different girls wanting to go out with me because I was the chosen one, I hated that but as they only wanted me because of who I am, there's no other word, I'm famous even if I hate it. I didn't want to get close to anyone because I wouldn't know if they liked me for me or they liked me because I'm the saviour, so I stayed with who I already knew liked me for me. With Ginny, I realised I did care about her and I do love her, but Hermione, I'm not in love with her. She's familiar, comfortable and she's part of the family I've had for years, the only family I've got.'

Hermione stared at Harry for a minute and let everything he said sink in, 'You're right Harry, you talk to people, get friendly, but never allow yourself to really get close to anyone that wasn't already close to you. With Ginny, yes, she has loved you for a long time, so you went with what was familiar to you. Another thing, if you were truly in love with her, you would share your past with her, like you have with Ron and I, you never have with Ginny. When are you planning on telling her because she is going to be hurt, not to mention how angry Ron and the rest of the family will be.'

'I know and the last few days I realised I might lose them and that hurts. But should I stay with Ginny and end up making us both unhappy, I can't do that. It would hurt her and me worse if I kept it going. The first woman I slept with, I just thought that I did that to sort of have a last fling before I settled down into marriage and kids. But I never realised at the time that I'm not the type to cheat if I was really in love with Ginny. I know if I was serious about someone I couldn't do that. I kept thinking maybe I just need to take more time, break it off with Ginny and see what happens, or I could learn to fall in love with her, but again, I think that would hurt us more in the long run. So as my best friend and someone that knows me better than anyone, tell me what you think about all this, about everything I've said.'

'When you didn't want Ginny to live with you I thought your feelings for her might not have been what hers were for you. But when you explained to Ron and I what you told Ginny, I figured okay, it's true. You never had time to yourself, not during your childhood and not once as you were growing up. You were at Hogwarts, or at the Burrow, then we were hiding at Grimmauld Place. Before the fighting it was you, Ron and me together, always together, right after you stayed at Hogwarts, but you were back with Ginny instantly, then you were at the Burrow and Ginny was always there, then auror training, so you did need some time to yourself.

'With the way you feel about the Weasley's, yes, you love them like your family because you never had your own, not since Sirius died. I could see you being afraid to lose them so in your subconscious you fooled yourself into believing you were in love with Ginny when you weren't it was just so you could have a family. Maybe you could learn to love her in that way, but that might not happen and it would hurt her and you more if you waited and it never happened. So if you want my advice, then I think you should break it off clean. But that would mean after Ginny is over her anger, you will see her with other men. She's well known Harry and very pretty, how will you handle seeing her with other men?'

'I admit it will be strange, but you see, I've thought of that already, Ginny with some other bloke, but I'm not upset or angry about it. That should tell me and you that I don't love her. If you saw Ron with another woman you'd hex him then probably punch the shit out of him. If I loved Ginny and saw her do that, I'd leave, I'd be hurt and angry, then never want to see her again. I'm already thinking about her seeing other men and it's not worrying me in the slightest.'

Hermione sighed, 'Yes and you would be if you were in love with her, but you're not. Even if Ron and the rest of the family are going to be upset with you, I'll still be here for you Harry. They will be thinking of how hurt Ginny is, not how hurt she would be if you ended up marrying her and it never worked.'

'Yeah, I know, but you've always stood by me Hermione and I don't want that to cause problems with Ron. So you think I should get it over with, as quickly as possible?'

'Yes, straight away, but I wouldn't be alone, she might just go off. It's always pretty quiet at the Hogshead, so maybe you could tell her here and if Ginny starts, between you and Aberforth, you might be able to stop yourself being badly hurt.'

Harry gave a weary laugh, 'I'm not that concerned with how much it'll hurt, we both know she won't be able to resist. But I need your opinion on something as someone that knows me better than anyone and you don't think about anyone else, you will give me your honest opinion and thoughts.'

'You know I will even if that means I tell you you're being an idiot. So what do you want my opinion on?'

'Well Ginny and me, did you ever think we were suited? We are really different, I never thought about that until recently, how different we truly are.'

'At first I was just happy that you noticed Ginny as I knew how long she had liked you and you were happy when you first got together. But when I sat down and thought about it, this was after you told Ginny you didn't want her to move in with you, I realised you are very different. I never wanted to say anything to either of you, but I never thought you and Ginny were suited, so you wouldn't have worked. You're very quiet and if you're upset or angry you like time to yourself and like to keep things to yourself, keep your feelings to yourself, sometimes only telling Ron and I things. Ginny isn't quiet, she likes the idea she's well known, she will pulled her wand if she's angry or upset. She never keeps her feelings or anything to herself, she tells everyone. Ginny told me once that she was so frustrated that you refused to explain about what happened that night in the forest, what horcruxes were, was that the reason we were away. I know why you don't like to talk about them Harry, but in a serious relationship, if you didn't open up to Ginny, then it was never meant to be. So while you're both still young, end it so you can get on with your lives,' Hermione took Harry's hand in hers, squeezing it tight and hoped Ginny didn't go too far when Harry told her.