A/N: Year 6 was always going to be a bitch to write... And then, just because I was already taking long enough, work decided to get into the mix. Let's just say I haven't slept much these past few days!
That being said, I've included a little fanservice in this because I love you guys and because the chapter is quite late and... well... because I could. Hope you like it ;)
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Chapter 6: The Sixth year
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Emily always loved the holiday period, she always had. She especially liked that little time frame, right before Christmas usually, where everyone had stopped running around to look for presents, that time period where everyone just stopped for a bit to be happy. She had always thought it was such a blissful moment, but she had never imagined she'd come to cherish it as much once she finished her studies.
When she'd been in Uni, she had thought Christmas couldn't get better than that for it was the absolute perfect relief to a stressful end of semester and nothing was as stressful to the redhead as end of semesters. But actually being done with school and trying to build a career was much worse as it turned out.
As hard as it all was and as hard as she'd been working, Emily had to admit that she'd been lucky to get a job for some urban magazine in London shortly after finishing Uni. Of course it hadn't been just luck. She had spent a tremendous amount of time working on her photographs during her degree, enough time to build a proper portfolio that had gotten her the job. It wasn't, in all honesty, the best job there was- sometimes her assignments were ridiculously pointless- but it was a job and it was in her field. She also appreciated the fact that she could still manage to work on her own projects in between assignments.
Still, as much as she liked her life, it was really stressful so when the holidays came around, Emily was more than happy to escape to Bristol for a bit. Since she was newest employee at the magazine, Emily hadn't gotten many days off. She'd only be in Bristol for three days, but they would have to be enough.
Besides, it wasn't like Emily had that many things she wanted to do in Bristol apart from spending some time with her family and, of course, go to a certain bar to see a certain blonde. It was a bit uncanny actually how much that latter incentive had become important to her. Sure, she liked Naomi and she liked spending time with her, but it hadn't been until she'd discussed the matter with Effy two days before leaving for Bristol that she'd realised that her little tradition with the blonde had become so... unshakable.
The two women had been hanging out at Emily's flat that evening. Effy had been her usual Grinch, complaining about the holidays and casually working her way through a few bottles of wine in the redhead's sitting room as Emily was packing her bag.
"I don't understand why we even have to go home" the brunette had whined.
"Come on Ef, it's Christmas. Can you hear me if I'm in my room?" she had asked as she moved around her bedroom.
"Ems, your flat is about the size of a large cupboard... I can hear you fine no matter which room you're in" Effy had scoffed.
"Right... well, as I was saying, Christmas is the holiday that's supposed to require family" Emily had argued.
"Exactly my point. Can't we just skip it? Let's just go to Ibiza instead, what d'you reckon?"
"Ibiza? Urgh no thanks" Emily had scoffed.
"What's wrong with a place full of beaches and a bright hot sun?"
"Just not my scene. Why don't you ask Katie to go with you?"
"You know Katie is doing the whole 'meet the parents' at Jeremy's this year..." Effy had replied with an eye roll.
"I reckon she might just skip it for you" Emily had shot back, a hint of bitterness in her voice.
"Christ's sake Emily, it was one kiss! You know bloody well that Katie and I are friends! Besides, she's well loved up with Jer" the brunette had said with an exasperated sigh.
"It never stops being weird though..." she'd mumbled under her breath. "Anyway, I actually want to be with my family for Christmas" she'd continued.
"Are you quite sure it's about your family?" Effy had inquired, a knowing smirk forming on her lips.
"Course I'm sure... what d'you mean?" she'd replied, a new edge to her voice.
"Are you sure it's got nothing to do with Christmas-Naomi then?" her friend had pushed.
"Christmas-Naomi?" Emily had asked. "What sort of nickname is that...?"
"Well you only see her on Christmas... seemed fitting"
Emily had bit her lip for a bit before replying.
"Well... It's not about Naomi... I mean, sure, I'm planning on meeting her, but I'm not like... going back for her" she'd explained, feeling like she was lying at least a bit.
Effy had looked at her so intently afterwards that Emily had been sure she could see right through her. She had felt nervous somehow and when the brunette had opened her mouth to finally reply, Emily had gulped in fear.
"And you're sure that's a good idea?" the girl had said slowly.
"What do you mean?" she'd replied shakily.
"Well... You meet this girl every single year... And it's been what? 5 years now?"
"6..." the redhead had corrected, her cheeks flushed.
"6 years then. So you've been meeting her for 6 years, but only ever just the once every year... I just wonder if perhaps it hasn't become damaging to maintain the relationship" Effy had explained slowly.
"What?! Damaging? How?" Emily had asked, incredulous.
"The relationship is hardly healthy Ems..." her friend had said with a pointed look. "You've become attached to this girl even though you hardly know her"
"I do know her..." she had tried to defend, albeit a bit flimsily.
"Hardly" Effy had insisted. "Yet, you insist on going back home every year and meeting up. It's unhealthy"
"But why? We chat, we have fun. We've formed a friendship. How is that unhealthy?"
"Because I doubt 'friendship' is the right term to describe whatever the hell you think you've developed with her" Effy had said with a shrug.
Emily's entire chest had felt like it had collapsed at her friend's words.
"Wha... What?!" she'd mumbled. "I... what else would it be?"
"I don't know. Because it's not a relationship either. You can't actually date a girl you see once a year, yet I've known you 3 years and I've never seen you in an actual relationship"
The redhead had chuckled nervously at what had sounded a lot like accusations.
"Well of course, Naomi and I aren't dating" She'd said. "And I'm sorry if I haven't had a girlfriend in ages... I mean... I go on dates sometimes..." she'd tried to defend.
"But are you even bothered? Look Emily, I don't mean to pressure you with this... All I'm saying is, this grey area you've put yourself into with this girl it's not normal and it can't be good for you"
Emily had nodded and neither of them had added anything after that. Their evening had carried on as if it hadn't happened and Effy hadn't mentioned anything about Naomi again, even when she'd given Emily a lift to the train station.
The redhead had been grateful too.
Although her friends words had stayed with her for quite some time afterwards, it hadn't stopped Emily from going to the pub on Christmas Eve just like she had planned. So what if Effy thought it was unhealthy? She didn't know them, did she? Her tradition with Naomi wasn't unhealthy. Perhaps it was a bit peculiar, but that was it. Besides, if their meetings made them both happy, who was Effy to say it wasn't a good thing?
Emily had been telling herself just that as she made her way to the pub. She was annoyed with herself though as she felt a little twinge of doubts deep in her stomach. Was her relationship with Naomi abnormally weird? How was she supposed to know?
Those thoughts were churning in Emily's head as she pushed the door of the pub open. They continued to churn as she glanced at the place and walked to the bar when she didn't see Naomi. When she sat down at a table, shedding off her coat, a while later, the thoughts were still churning.
But then, a hand travelled on her back from one shoulder blade to the other and a familiar voice spoke a cheerful 'hello stranger' close to her ear and the thoughts fucked off. By the time Naomi had sat herself in front of Emily, her usual easy grin on her face, her hair as bottle blonde as ever, her eyes still so fucking blue, it was like the thoughts had never been there at all.
"How do you always do that?" Emily asked, comfortably skipping the hellos.
"Do what?" Naomi inquired curiously.
"Surprise me... Even last year when you arrived first, it's like you knew I'd arrived the moment I walked in... How do you do that?"
"Oh well, simple really, it's part of my Christmas spirit super powers" the blonde teased.
"Urgh..." Emily groaned. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Oh no. No chance" Naomi confirmed happily.
"Bitch" the redhead grumbled, barely able to keep herself from grinning broadly.
The blonde chuckled, her eyes glinting in the light.
"So what's the plan this year?" she asked after a minute. "Are you getting me drunk again or...?"
"No" Emily replied pointedly. "Unless I still have to get you drunk to get any sort of conversation out of you"
Naomi smiled, but shook her head.
"Good, so then, how have you been? How is life post Uni?" Emily asked, rather pleased.
"Humm, I've been good. Life is alright"
"Yeah? I'm glad to hear that" she replied genuinely.
Emily's heart accelerated as she let herself wonder where Naomi was now. She knew the blonde had mentioned going to Uni in London the year previously and she knew that, then, she'd been studying abroad, but perhaps her situation had changed. Perhaps Naomi was back in England now that she had finished her degree. Emily's heart picked up even more when she thought that maybe they'd be able to see each other more than just on Christmas this year...
"What about you? You've finished, haven't you?" Naomi asked, bringing the redhead out of her thoughts.
"Yes, I have"
"And what did you do with it? Where can I see your pictures?" the blonde asked eagerly.
Emily felt her lips curve into the biggest of smile at the other woman's enthusiasm.
"You'd want to see my pictures?" she asked before she could stop herself.
"Well of course!" Naomi chuckled. "Why is that such a surprise?"
"I just... I don't know... I mean... There's not much to show, really" Emily rambled. "I work for a small magazine... It's nothing-"
"Emily that's brilliant!" Naomi cut her off. "What magazine? Write it... hang on" she continued excitedly looking around herself.
She got up and walked to the bar and Emily watched her, her mouth wide open. A minute later, she was back with a pen and a napkin.
"Here, write down the name of the magazine" she indicated, her index finger tapping the napkin.
"Why?" Emily asked curiously.
"Because I'll need a subscription and my memory is shit sometimes and I don't want to forget this" Naomi explained simply, as if it had been obvious.
The redhead stared at her, words failing her. How could this ever be unhealthy? She thought. How could Effy ever think it was when Naomi was just so... so? Without warning, tears sprung to her eyes. Emily bit on her bottom lip hard to fight them back. Naomi still spotted them though and frowned.
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice full of worry.
"No!" Emily exclaimed instantly. "Gosh not at all! It's just... I didn't expect that... You... I mean, Katie, who is my twin, bought a copy of the first issue that printed one of my pictures, but... I don't think she's even looked at the magazine since..."
"Ah, I had almost forgotten about your lovely twin" Naomi mused. "How is she these days? I miss our chats" she teased.
Emily chuckled, brushing a hand quickly to the corner of her eye.
"She's really not that bad" she told the blonde.
Naomi scoffed in response.
"Anyway... I'm just... you really don't have to subscribe" Emily said shyly, bringing the subject back to her work.
"Em... I want to" the blonde assured her. "So just write the bloody name down, yeah?" she finished with a smirk.
The redhead smirked, feeling her cheeks blush hard. She wrote the name of her magazine down and when she was done, Naomi looked satisfied. She grabbed the napkin, folded it carefully and placed it in her pocket. When she was done, she dragged her blue orbs back onto Emily.
"Now, tell me about it" she said.
"About what?" Emily giggled.
"Your work, your photographs... All of it" Naomi demanded eagerly.
"Okay" the redhead agreed.
And she did. As she started telling the blonde about her job, its good parts, its less good parts, she got lost into her own little world. As she described photograph techniques and methods, as she explained her own personal preferences, as she even delved into long descriptions of what she hoped to accomplish, Emily was surprised not to feel self-conscious.
Normally, when she started discussing photography, she'd notice others getting bored and that would make her feel like the biggest dork there was. It was for that reason that she usually felt self-conscious whenever she broached the subject, but somehow under Naomi's observing stare she didn't. Perhaps it was because Naomi looked genuinely interested, Emily couldn't know for sure, but with the blonde she felt comfortable to discuss it all, every detail, no holding back.
Again, her thoughts were brought back to what Effy had said. She almost laughed then. How ridiculous had it been? How far off had her friend been? There was nothing unhealthy about her relationship with Naomi. It was unique, Emily would agreed on that, but it was a good unique no matter what anyone told her.
"God, I'm sorry" Emily eventually said, her cheeks bright red. "I didn't mean to go full geek on you... I get a bit... intense when I start talking about photography..."
"Don't apologise" Naomi brushed off. "It's actually fascinating! And... besides, I kind of love seeing you talking about something with this level of passion... It's... it's beautiful Ems..."
"Thanks..." the redhead replied, feeling her blush intensify.
She bit her bottom lip to control her smirk. Her heart was beating fast and she was feeling a bit light headed. She had only had one drink, but somehow it had gotten to her head already. Or maybe it wasn't the drink, but Naomi's presence. Emily wasn't sure. It didn't matter though.
They continued to talk for a long while after that, trading stories of Uni and travels, one drink turning into a few. Emily told the blonde about some ragging parties she'd attended with her friends while Naomi told her of her time in Russia and other countries.
The conversation flowed easily between them, just like it always did. It never ceased to amaze the redhead actually how easy things were with Naomi. In a way, Effy had been right, Naomi and she did hardly know each other, but in another way, she had been so wrong. Sure, once a year wasn't much, but Emily knew Naomi. She really did. They had a connection and that was undeniable.
They didn't do anything but talk and laugh and drink for a long time. And then, a song Emily loved resounded into the pub and the redhead jumped up from her seat.
"Oh my god I love this song!" she exclaimed. "Let's dance!"
Naomi laughed and looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.
"What?!" she asked incredulously.
"Let's dance!" Emily repeated, extending a hand to the still sitting blonde.
"What here?" Naomi inquired.
"Well yeah"
"No! Ems, it's a pub"
"So?"
"So there's no dancefloor! And there's no one dancing" Naomi explained with a pointed look around the place.
Emily grinned.
"What? I thought you loved to dance" she teased.
"I do" Naomi replied, her brow furrowing.
"What's the problem then? Don't tell me you love to dance, but actually can't dance..." Emily continued with a smirk.
"For your information, I've taken several dancing classes" the blonde defended hotly. "I'm a great dancer"
"Prove it then" Emily challenged, her smirk ridiculously wide now.
She waited as Naomi's lips twitched between a thin line and a grin. It was obvious to Emily that the blonde was debating whether or not she found the idea of dancing in a pub too embarrassing to refuse the redhead's challenge.
"Come on Naomi... Don't tell me you're afraid" Emily pushed just a little bit harder.
And just like she'd known she would, the blonde cracked, rolled her eyes and got up from her seat.
"Okay, you're on Fitch" she shot back. "I'll show you just how good I am"
Emily laughed as she followed the other girl. She was still giggling when they reached a spot where there weren't many chairs and Naomi stopped, seemingly satisfied with the space. Then, the blonde gave Emily one last confident smirk and just like that she started to dance. It took about 5 seconds for the redhead's laughter to die in her throat afterwards.
As it turned out, Naomi's cockiness over her dancing abilities had been completely and thoroughly justified and Emily reckoned she'd hardly ever seen anything so fucking beautiful.
When Naomi danced, it felt like the whole world had stopped moving, like it had just stopped to watch her move. And boy did she know how to move. Her limbs flowed so naturally, that it felt to Emily like they had always been meant to dance. Her movements were both elegant and graceful, but also forceful and ridiculously enthralling. Actually, the whole of her was enthralling, everything about her breathtaking. She was like fire, owning the space around her with raw beauty and power.
Despite how good she was though, it wasn't Naomi's actual dancing that caught Emily's attention the most. What had made Emily so serious and what was making it completely impossible for her to watch anything else was how fucking happy the blonde looked. There was no tension in her shoulders, no worry on her face. She was free, completely and entirely free and Emily wasn't sure how to deal with that. Never before had she wanted to have her camera as bad as she did in that moment. She was dying to capture the image, to try to immortalise rawness.
She watched in silence and reverence until the song ended and Naomi stopped dancing. The second she did, her blue eyes found Emily's instantly and she smirked. Then, the pub erupted around them, cheers and applauses engulfing the blonde who, for the first time since she'd started to dance, seemed to remember just exactly where they were. She blushed adorably and Emily's smile returned.
Then, as if the whole ordeal had been planned from the beginning of the night, someone shouted for the bartender to turn the music up, tables and chairs were moved aside and other people got up to dance as well. Naomi and Emily looked at it unfold around them with stunned expressions, but accepted it readily.
Nobody was paying them any attention anymore when Naomi finally walked up to Emily, a grin firmly back on her lips.
"Well? What are you waiting for? I thought we were supposed to dance" the blonde teased.
Emily felt intimidated all of a sudden because, sure, she could move, but not like Naomi could. As if sensing her hesitation though, the blonde's cheeky smirk transformed into a soft smile and she grabbed the redhead's hand gently with hers.
"Come..." she whispered just for Emily and that was all it took.
They danced together after that and Emily and that was that. They continued to dance and Emily chortled loudly when, at one point, Naomi decided to demonstrate her repertoire of ridiculous moves. It was all very friendly for a very long time until the blonde grabbed Emily by the waist.
"Come here a minute" she whispered in her ear.
Emily's heart jumped into her throat as Naomi pressed herself against her. She wondered for a second why she had grabbed her like that until the blonde withdrew her mobile from her pocket and snapped a quick picture of the two of them together.
Emily wanted to argue or at the very least ask Naomi to show her the picture, but the blonde put her phone back into her pocket and continued to dance. The redhead let it slide and the night carried on. Still, the mood had shifted somehow and if they had dance with a fair distance between them earlier, that distance had almost completely vanished now.
Naomi pressed herself against Emily and the redhead blushed. She tried to follow the other girl as they moved together, but she couldn't figure out how.
"I... I can't... I don't know how to..." she tried to explain lamely, but Naomi chuckled in her ear and she stopped talking.
"Just follow my hips" the blonde told her, her hands falling to Emily's waist, keeping them close together.
Emily did just that, because really, what else could she do? They fell into the same beat, they fell into the same world and as the redhead brought her arms around Naomi's neck, they were brought even closer together.
Emily heart was beating madly now, her entire body buzzing with this new proximity.
The petite looked up and her eyes found Naomi's instantly. Blues were flashing with many emotions Emily couldn't place and the sight sent a weird lurch to her stomach. The redhead looked at the rest of the other woman's face and her breath caught in her throat. She'd never seen her look like that, her cheeks red from the heat, her hair a bit messy and a carefree smile.
She had never looked more beautiful than she was looking in that moment, Emily reckoned. She opened her mouth to tell her, because Naomi needed to know just how gorgeous she was, but just before the redhead had said anything, she felt the blonde's phone vibrate against her leg.
Naomi let go of her waist and Emily let go of her neck. Naomi answered her phone. Barely a few seconds later, the music was lowered and the lights flickered.
The crowd groaned loudly in disapproval.
"The bar is closing" she told the blonde when her phone was back in her pocket.
"Yeah... It's actually a good timing... I sort of have to go..." Naomi admitted with a guilty smile.
"Oh? Was that your mum?" Emily asked curiously.
Naomi bit her bottom lip and shook her head. She hesitated for a second before clearing her throat.
"No... huh... Actually... it was my boyfriend" she answered sheepishly.
Emily's own reply caught in her throat as Naomi's words sank in slowly. When they did, her heart deflated in her chest and she frowned.
"Your boyfriend?" she croaked.
"Yeah..." Naomi nodded.
"You have a boyfriend?"
"Yeah..." She repeated.
Emily opened and closed her mouth a few times as disappointment settled deep inside her stomach. Then, slowly, anger flared inside her.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" she asked hotly.
Naomi looked taken aback for a minute before stammering back:
"I huh... It didn't come up..."
"It didn't come up? What the fuck Naomi?!" Emily fired back, getting angrier.
"It didn't!" Naomi defended, her voice a bit rougher this time.
"I didn't even know you were interested in boys... Why didn't you tell me?!" the redhead asked, feeling completely betrayed.
6 years. They'd known each other for 6 years and Naomi had never even implied that she was interested in men. Emily couldn't help thinking that she'd done so on purpose.
"Well we've never discussed my sexuality..." Naomi replied with a shrug.
"You could have said it anyway! You've never even mentioned it once" Emily said disbelievingly.
"So? Jesus Emily... What's the big deal?"
"I thought you were gay!" the redhead exclaimed forcefully.
"Well, I'm not. Besides, I don't really like people putting labels on me. I'm not a bloody jam jar" the blonde said snottily.
Emily scoffed and shook her head.
"That's not what I meant and you know it" she shot back, her voice softer as her anger was replaced by disappointment.
"Look, I'm sorry. It never came up and I just didn't think to mention it..." Naomi said just as softly, guilt flashing in her bright blue eyes.
Emily bit at her bottom lip, trying to ignore the way her heart was aching in her chest and the way her throat had squeezed uncomfortably. She crossed her arms in front of her chest protectively, her brown eyes suddenly unable to look at Naomi.
"How long have you been with him?" Emily asked, dreading the answer.
How long exactly had Naomi hid the fact that she was taken from her? Had it been years? Had it been the whole time?
"Just a few months!" the blonde said quickly and the redhead's heart felt a bit better. "He's Russian... I met him at Uni"
At this, the petite's eyes shot back to Naomi.
"And he moved to England with you?" she asked.
"Yeah well... not really. I mean... He's just here with me for the holidays... I've not... I've not actually moved back to England..." the blonde admitted.
Emily's heart deflated even more. Why the fuck hadn't Naomi told her that earlier when she had asked her about her life after Uni?
"So you've moved to Russia with him?" She asked, her voice wobbling just a tiny bit.
"Oh God no!" Naomi shook her head. "I've actually been accepted to do an internship in a non profit organization in Berlin and he decided to come with me to Germany for a bit..."
Emily nodded as she took in the information. She couldn't deny how disappointed she felt at this news.
"Still a globetrotter then?" she said sadly.
"Yeah..."
"So this is still just a Christmas thing, isn't it?" she asked, annoyed at herself for the bitterness she could hear in her voice.
Naomi bit her bottom lip uncomfortably before answering.
"Why are you making it sound so bad?" she said with a shake of her head. "It's not just a Christmas thing, is it? It's... it's our Christmas tradition... It's our special thing..."
Emily only found the strength to shrug in response and Naomi suddenly looked alarmed.
"Ems..." she whispered. "It's... it's our thing, yeah? I mean... you're still going to come next year... yeah?"
The redhead didn't reply to that either.
"Ems?" Naomi asked, her voice dripping with fear. "Please Ems, say you'll be there next year" she pleaded. "I don't know why you're so upset... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you... I... I thought... This is us, no? This is our friendship, no? We have Christmas... We always have Christmas..."
Emily looked at the blonde and as she saw the pained expression on her face, her heart faltered a little. She couldn't be mad at Naomi. The blonde was right. That had been their friendship. That had always been them. So why was she suddenly feeling disappointed? Why wasn't it enough anymore? Had she wanted more?
Emily sighed internally as she realised she didn't even know the answer to that question. She'd never even really thought about it, yet here she was acting like a jealous twat.
"I'm sorry" she said with a sigh, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I'm sorry, I was just surprised, I'm not upset" she continued.
Now she could see what Effy had meant about her relationship with Naomi though. This was what she'd meant when she'd told her they were stuck in a grey area and her friend had been right, it wasn't healthy. They couldn't stay in that in-between any longer. Emily had to make a decision. Either she accepted her once a year friendship- and friendship only- with Naomi or either she ended the tradition now.
"So... does that mean you'll be back next year?" Naomi asked hopefully.
Emily looked at the blonde carefully as she mulled it over. She looked at her soft skin and gorgeously riveting eyes. She imagined for a second a Christmas without her and her heart squeezed painfully. Then, she smiled.
"Of course I'll be back" she promised.
Her whole body felt lighter when a huge smile of relief appeared on Naomi's face and the blonde stepped closer to hug her to her chest. Emily hugged her back, inhaling deeply, letting Naomi's perfume wash over her one last time before she cemented her decision.
As she let her go, everything felt much better. There was no more 'grey area' no more 'in-between'. Naomi was her friend and that would be all there was to it. It had to be.
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Well things had to get a bit more complicated for this to last 12 years, didn't they?
I hope it was worth the wait! I'm sorry I didn't manage to get the story out for Christmas :( I'll do my best to finish it during the holidays though! Cheers everyone! Can't wait to hear your thoughts.
MMxx