If I Fell - Part 3

Over the next hour I learnt that the girl's name was Marie, she was 16 and went to Quarry Bank school in Allerton, and had seen the Beatles last month at the Cavern and had fallen in love with them. "George, I couldn't stop staring at him, he is so good looking..." Marie gushed. She leant her head back against the brick wall and I laughed as she was obviously daydreaming. It was nice though, to know I wasn't alone in being "caught" by these boys. "When he sang Do You Want to Know A Secret, he looked at me a few times, fuck I nearly fainted!". I wondered what John and Paul sounded like when they sang, I could imagine Paul having a nice voice as he spoke quite well, but John was razor sharp and nasally. Still, I was looking forward to hearing them both! Marie shivered in the bitter air and I nudged her. "Don't worry kid, we've not got long to go". I then checked my watch, it was only twenty past 10. Bloody hell. I then thought there must be somewhere that did coffee. "I'm going to see if I can get us something hot to drink" I said and got up from the cold street. My bottom was numb. Marie smiled. "That's so kind of ya. I've only got my entry money though". I shook my head and said "Don't worry, I'll get you something, we'll freeze otherwise." She nodded and I headed back up Mathew Street. I then had a thought and approached a man who was having a smoke. "Excuse me, do you know where I could get coffees from?" I asked. He looked at me, and then nodded. "Yeah, js head right out o' here, walk down til ya come to Lord Street, turn right and carry on to James Street, ya can get coffee from the machine in the station".

Following his directions I returned with two plastic cups of coffee. There was now a small blue van outside the Cavern and Marie started waving madly as she saw me. "They're here! They're here! George took his guitar inside, oh Ellie he smiled at me!", she told me. I laughed, she was so funny. I gave her her coffee and then it dawned on me that that meant they were ALL here. I sat back down as my stomach started to get butterflies again, and Marie scooted next to me sipping her coffee. "Did you see...all of them?" I asked. This was stupid, I'd been waiting for this for two days and now I was full of nerves again. "Oh yeah, John and Pete wandered off somewhere else but George and Paul are in there!" she squealed. Just as she finished speaking Paul and a leaner looking lad came out. "There's George!" whispered Marie. George was ok I suppose – he had thick eyebrows, quite good cheekbones. He and Paul headed to the van and started to carry an amplifier out when Paul noticed me and smiled. "Ellie! Hello! John didn't think you would come along!" and motioned to George to put the amp down and the duo wandered over to me and an opened mouthed Marie. "Hi Paul. I couldn't pass up the chance to hear the Beatles play" I replied. Wow, how intelligent you sound Ellie. Urgh. Paul grinned broadly and turned to George. "Ellie this is George, George this is Ellie. George is our lead guitarist." I stood up and shook his hand. I then remembered poor little Marie and looked down at her. "This is Marie, we met just this morning. She's a huge fan of you all, especially you George". Marie looked dumbfounded and smiled weakly at the two Beatles. "Are ya? That's sweet" said George and broke into a toothy smile. Paul gently touched my forearm. "You girls can't stay out here, it's freezing." Marie then told them how she asked if she could come in earlier but had been told no. George cackled "Oh that's just Mal, we've had some trouble with fans so he's extra cautious. Ya can come in though". He then offered his hand to Marie and lifted her to her feet, she looked in a daze. Paul took my hand to my surprise and led me into the club.

We went down a winding staircase. The walls were painted black and condensation trickled down them. The name "Cavern" was extremely apt! It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. We reached the bottom, and ahead of us was a small stage and to our right a little bar. The ceiling was supported by numerous arches and pillars, and littered around were several little tables and chairs, with an area for dancing in front of the stage. I looked around at this place, and then back at Paul who was smiling at me. His eyes, God they were something. "What do you think?" he asked proudly. This was definitely his kingdom. "I didn't realise you'd played in this cellar, it's amazing!" I replied. Paul nodded and started playing with the collar on his jacket. "Can I get you a drink?" he motioned to the bar behind us. I was still cold so declined as I still had my coffee. Paul asked the barman for a bottle of Coke. I watched George and Marie, he'd sat her on the edge of the stage and was showing her what I assumed to be some chords, her little face was a picture of bliss! Paul put his hand on my back. "Let's go and sit in the dressing room," and I followed him through a small corridor past the stage. He led me into a very pokey room with just a mirror, small table, rail and small sofa. I suppose that qualified it as a dressing room! "Sit yourself down" Paul told me. I sat down on the pale blue sofa, just happy to be indoors after that hour outside. He drank from his bottle of Coke and watched me intently as he did so. I began to get nervous again, as we were alone together. I tried to make conversation. "So why did John think I wouldn't come?". Paul shrugged "Oh something about you being quite prim. His words mind! He didn't believe you'd bunk off." I didn't know how to take this, but I didn't like the idea of John judging me without knowing me better. A stone settled in my stomach, all the excitement from earlier seemed to be leaving. "Prim eh? That's nice of him..." I said quietly. Paul cocked his head, and walked over and sat next to me. "That's just John, he talks before his fucking brain kicks in. I don't think you're prim." he said softly. I stared at my now cooling coffee, "Thanks Paul, you're really nice." I turned and smiled at him. He smiled back. Before I knew it he had moved over and started to kiss my neck. I froze, as I liked John, but John saw me as an uptight madam it seemed, and I couldn't help softly moaning as Paul moved down to my throat. Jesus it felt wonderful, I felt everything start to melt. Paul stopped and took my coffee from me and put it on the floor, then encased me in his arms and continued kissing my neck. He brought his face close to mine, his lashes were incredible... I wanted him to lean in, and he did. Oh my God, I'd never been kissed on the lips before. I seemed to have no control over my body, and watched my arms raise and my hands wind themselves in his soft black hair.

"Is this a private party Macca?". Paul stopped kissing me and as he moved away I saw John with another boy in the doorway. John then saw me, and his mouth opened slightly, his body stiffened. "Ellie, well well... Didn't think you'd come today" he said haughtily. I was embarrassed at being caught like this, but still stinging at him calling me prim. "Hi John, well I can't always be prim can I?" I retorted. John shot Paul a murderous look, and went back out of the room. The other boy Pete whistled. "Nice one Paul, two hours before we're due to play". I smoothed down my clothes and excused myself. I went and found the ladies toilets, wishing I had a peg on my nose. They were pretty grimy, the owner had tried to brighten them up with pink paint but it didn't work very well. I went into a cubicle and sat down on the toilet lid. Jesus Christ, why did this have to happen? If only Marie and I had stayed outside I'd never have been alone in that room with Paul. I DID like Paul, but I was more interested in John – but that prim comment had hurt a lot. Why was I prim, just because I'd said I'd be working? Maybe Mum was right, that some boys just aren't nice. I felt like I couldn't enjoy my first kiss, because John had stormed off. Sighing, I decided to try and still enjoy myself, so I got changed into my outfit, and immediately felt better, relaxed. I left the cubicle and washed my hands, looking at my reflection. Wow, my hair was still pinned up well, that was something. I pinched my cheeks a little, and went back out. George and Marie were still on the stage talking, she looked to having the time of her life. The other boy from before was at the bar drinking, but I didn't feel comfortable introducing myself. Wandering to the front of the stage, I sat down at the far right listening to George strumming. I knew a little about music from listening to Elvis records, well I knew what sounded good to me – and George appeared to make his guitar sing. His long fingers deftly changed positions and shapes almostly seemlessly, he had Marie captivated.

I heard footsteps and turned to see John and Paul coming in – maybe they'd made up I thought. I hoped so. John didn't look at me as he passed but Paul did a little thumbs up sign. For the remainder of the time before the club opened I stayed in the main room with George and Marie. I sat quietly going over what had happened, maybe Paul was just a big flirt? It was very confusing. I really hoped John wouldn't stay angry at me, stupidly I still wanted to try and get to know him. Girls and boys started to pour into the cellar at 12 once the club opened, I didn't think I'd ever seen so much make-up in my life. Nearly every girl had her face done to perfection, it made me feel pretty inadequate. Marie finally came over to me when George went backstage and flopped down on the chair next to me. We had a great spot, just in front of the stage in the middle, I started to feel excited again. "Ellie, why didn't you tell me you KNEW them? I couldn't believe it when you told George I was a fan!", Marie stopped for breath. I smirked a little "Well it did the trick! You've spent all morning with him, looks like you're getting on great!". Marie giggled, and I told her to save my place. I made my way over to the bar. It was heaving, the place wa packed for this lunchtime gig. "Can I have two bottles of Coke please?" I asked the barman. He nodded and opened two bottles. "That's 2 and 9 please love". I paid him and made my way unsteadily back to the stage. There seemed to be girls everywhere... I counted maybe 8 boys. A small man walked onto the stage and tapped the microphone. "Hey kids, welcome to the Cavern Club! For your entertainment this cold lunchtime we're proud to present our beloved boys, The Beatles!" - he stepped back and everyone including Marie and I cheered and clapped. Paul came onstage first followed by George, and the drummer Pete. John shuffled on last. Paul stepped up to the mic. "Afternoon folks! We'd like to start with something fast to get you all dancing.." and he turned and waited for John to signal he was ready. " 1 2 3 4!" screamed Paul and this noise exploded throughout the cellar. I got goosebumps listening to this fantastic sound bouncing around the walls.

"Well she was just 17

You know, what I mean.

And the way she looked, was way beyond compare...

So how could I dance with another,

Woah and I saw her standing there..."

Paul caught my eye several times throughout the song, as I jiggled about in my seat, I couldn't stop myself – they were fantastic. I looked behind me a few times and the whole cellar was full of smiling faces, we all seemed to know we'd stumbled on something special. They had something – their sound, their charisma, it was infectious. When Paul finshed the song Marie and I stood up screaming and clapping, Paul winked at us. I looked over to John but he looked beyond to the crowd behind. "And now we have our George, who has a secret..." announced John. Marie grabbed my arm "This is my favourite!" and she began swaying as George began singing.

"Listen...

Do you want to know a secret?

Do you promise not to tell?

Oh Oh Oh, closer

Let me whisper in your ear

Say the words you long to hear...

I'm in love with you...

Ooohooohooh.."

As George sang the line "I'm in love with you", my eyes automatically shifted to John, but he was looking at his frets. I felt stupid, because he had been rude about me yet I still liked him. Marie held onto my arm during the whole of George's song, letting go only to clap like a maniac as he finished. I liked George, he seemed really down to earth and nice. Once the applause had died down, Paul stepped up to the mic again, I thought he was going to be singing. "Our next song is by John, Baby It's You". Paul and George began singing together, their voices were terrific together. Once John began to sing though, I nearly fell off my chair... His voice, John's voice was like magic, it was liked being wrapped up in the softest blanket, it was just RIGHT. And he looked down at me, when he sang "It's not the way you kiss that tears me apart".

"It's not the way you smile, that touched my heart

It's not the way you kiss that tears me apart..

But oh, many many many nights go by...

I sit alone, at home and I cry over you

What can I do?

Can't help myself...

Cos baby, it's you...

His eyes wandered around the room as he sang but he kept coming back to me. I felt nervous, happy, scared, excited and downright confused. He looked straight down at me again as he sang "Don't want nobody, nobody... cos baby, it's you..." My stomach flipped as his eyes bore into mine. I couldn't work him out. Paul and George sang a couple more songs, and then John sang "Twist and Shout". As the opening bars started and he began screaming, I just lost all inhibitions... I dragged Marie up, and she and I laughed with joy as we twirled eachother around, throwing our arms up in the air, just having a wonderful time! The harmonies the three boys sang were like eating a delicious pudding – just perfect, their voices seemed fated to blend together. I looked up at John as I danced around and he smiled broadly at me whilst singing, it made me feel happy inside. They finished the song, but we didn't want them to leave, everyone just kept clapping and cheering. They waved at us all a few times and then all went backstage. I felt exhausted but happy from all the dancing and sat back down with Marie. "Oh my God, that was bloody fantastic!" I shouted to her. Marie nodded, wiping her face with her handkerchief and drinking Coke at the same time. "Actually fucking fantastic!" she laughed. I had to agree, it was one of the best times I'd ever had. To think I'd be eating my lunch on a bench outside the chemist's usually at this time! We sat catching our breath and watched as most people began to leave, although we noticed a few girls hanging about by the dressing room corridor. I felt a slight pang of jealousy.

Pete came along first, and was surrounded, he seemed to be signing autographs. I watched in shock as several girls shoved bits of paper in his jeans pockets. "What are they doing that for?" I asked Marie. "Their phone numbers, it happened last time I was here as well..." she replied. I bet that happened to all them I thought sadly. George then made his way through, but bypassed the group of girls and headed to a red faced Marie. "Hey, would you both like to get some lunch with me, I'm starving! " he laughed. Marie said yes almost instantly and stood up. I hesitated, as I wanted to talk to John before I left, before I could answer he and Paul came out of the corridor and just like Pete they were swarmed by the girls. They scribbled autographs for most, then Paul saw us and came over followed by John. "We're getting some grub then?" he asked George. George nodded "Yeah, I don't know if Ellie's coming though.". Everyone looked at me. John then smiled and said "You will won't you Ellie?". It was a real genuine smile that reached his brown eyes. I nodded, "Yes I will John", and the group of us all made our way out into the cool December air. John, then unexpectedly held his hand out. I took it. Neither of us spoke.