Pirates of the Magical Skies

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling

"Pssst." Harry Potter blinked slightly at the hissing call coming from his window, then blinked a bit as he would slowly walk over to peak out through the iron bars. To his surprise, his godfather, dressed in full pirate regalia grinned back at him.

"Sirius?" Harry stared a moment at the man, before frowning just a bit. "Aren't you supposed to be hiding?"

"Shhh… I'm the Dread Pirate BlackPaw now!" The man responded with sudden, sweeping motion bow as Harry looked down to see… a skiff, floating in mid air, supporting the man.

"The Dread Pirate BlackPaw?" Harry repeated, as he stared at the maniacally grinning man and sighed slightly. "Sirius… did you eat some berries you're not supposed to?"

"NO!" The man paused a moment, tapping his lip thoughtfully before shaking his head. "At least, not that kind. Things have been a bit… runny of late."

"I do NOT need to know that." Harry twitched just a bit, before glancing back at the man. "What're you doing here?"

"Well, you see… Things got particularly bad of late." Sirius fidgeted just a bit before shrugging slightly. "The Ministry's been running a smear campaign against you and Dumbledore all summer, denouncing any possibility that Voldemort has actually returned."

"Lovely." Harry sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "As if everything wasn't bad enough as is. So, what's that got to do with… ya know, this pirate stuff?"

"Well, since Dumbledore's not going to do anything about it, cutting you off, leaving you to rot… I figured, you know what? Screw it all! We'll run away and become pirates!"

"… You're serious?"

"Last time I checked, why?" The man grinned brilliantly back at his godson. "Hurry up, we've got to get to the ship in time to intercept a French carriage!"

"Why're we going to intercept a French carriage?" Harry asked speculatively as he none the less quickly gathered up his things, and pulled his trunk over to the window.

"To get you your cabin wench, of course!" Sirius responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Nothing but the best for the godson of the Dread Pirate BlackPaw!"

"You like saying that entirely too much, you know that right?" Harry shot back as he watched Sirius vanish the bars on his window then shrink his trunk.

"Come on, come on… We've got to go and introduce you to the rest of the crew!"

"Remus?" Harry asked hopefully as he picked up his shrunken trunk, then crawled into the skiff as Hedwig quickly flew over and settled onto his shoulder.

"Sadly, no," Sirius admitted with a sigh. "He gets air sick you see." He paused before brightening quickly. "He's our inside man in the group with inside men in the Ministry though!"

"I… see." Harry simply stared at the man before sighing as he slumped back into the skiff as it quickly rose up into the air. "So, anyone I know?"

"Indubitably!" Sirius agreed happily as he winked at the boy. "But several others you won't. You'd be amazed at how many people the current Ministry has managed to piss off."

"… Actually, not so much." Harry admitted back to his godfather, before blinking in shock as a massive Galleon suddenly shimmered into view. "Bloody HELL!"

"She's a beauty isn't she?" Sirius grinned back at his Godson. "Been in the Black family for centuries! Well preserved and updated with all the modern conveyances!"

"What's her name?" Harry said in awe as he looked at the string of gun ports along her sides. "And… Cannons?"

"Well, I won't bore you with the string of previous Black affiliated names she'd born." Sirius waved it off. "All the way back to this particularly crazy fellow that brought her into the family centuries back when he was drug to the altar at wand point. Poor bugger, was quite the infamous fellow at the time." He paused a moment, before looking back at Harry. "Where was I again?"

"Her name?" Harry offered helpfully.

"Ah, right." Sirius nodded sagely before gesturing grandly to the ship once more. "This, my dear boy, is the Marauder's Delight!"

"Hmm… Not bad." Harry admitted with a nod, before pursing his lips. "What kind of crew we have?"

"We?" Sirius arched a brow, smirking back at his godson.

"Yup, you weren't thinking about leading this little venture on your own, were you?" Harry arched a brow back at his godfather.

"Well…"

"No. Someone's gotta keep you properly leashed." Harry said firmly as he smirked just a bit. "I, thankfully, volunteer myself for the job."

"… You used to play pirate when you were a kid, didn't you." Sirius noted with an amused quirk of his lips.

"Only game that I could get away with." Harry responded evenly. "Kept swashbuckling around Dudley."

"Ah, yes, that does remind me…" Sirius glance down over the side, before pulling out what looked to be a black cannonball with a fuse. "Mustn't forget to leave them a present."

"Oh?" Harry arched a brow slightly as he watched his god father pull out a wand and light the tip of the fuse, before casually throwing it back over his shoulder to the Dursley's home. "Do I want to know what that'll do?"

"Oh, nothing too bad." Sirius assured him, before a sudden cloud of purple smoke enveloped the home. "Just a little… redecorating."

When the smoke cleared, Harry almost fell over laughing at the neon pink and blue that the Dursley home was now painted, with its wild and unkempt lawn of crabgrass and daffodils. "Well, I'm afraid they won't appreciate your decorative efforts, Padfoot."

"Bah, everyone's a critic!" the man waved his hand and smirked as the skiff came up to the galleon's side and then attached itself quite firmly. "Shall we then?"

"Wotcher, Captain!" A pink haired young woman waved back at the pair. "And Harry!"

"That's Captains, apparently, Nymmie." Sirius shot back as he gave a theatrical sigh. "Harry went and decided that we'd be sharing the position."

"Well you do owe me for years and years left at the Dursleys." Harry responded back, before eying the brilliantly haired woman. "And, Nymmie?"

"My dear cousin, Nymphadora Tonks." Sirius responded as he quickly dodged out of the way of the angrily thrown hex his cousin threw at him. "She was my first choice for your cabin wench, but, sadly her mother objected." Sirius paused a moment before shivering slightly. "And, when Romeda objects, I've learned to listen. You'll understand when you meet her."

"Grrr… And whatever you do, don't you dark call me Nymphadora!" The pink haired woman demanded.

"Why not?" Harry knew he was probably pushing it, but, he still wasn't quite convinced this wasn't all a dream. "I can't imagine a real nymph looking better than you."

The Tonks woman opened her mouth, then let it click shut, before falling open again in a slow cycle as Sirius clapped his arm down on Harry's shoulder. "Well done lad! You're learning!" Sirius grinned back at his godson. "Nym's the Gunnery Mistress. Her mother's our navigator and her dad's our Potions Master."

"You have your own Potions Master?" Harry blinked in surprise at that.

"Of course! You can't be a self respecting Air Pirate and not have a good Potions Master." Grinning wickedly Sirius suddenly barked out. "Dobby!"

"Yes Cap'n BlackPaw sir?" The houseelf popped into existence dressed in an approximation of a pirate's outfit. "You is calling for Dobby?"

"I do believe you know our ship cook?" Sirius noted, grinning back at his godson and winking at him. "He's been waiting for you to show up."

"HARRY POTTER SIR!" Dobby squealed in delight before grabbing hold of the boy's leg and gripping it tightly. "Dobby is so happy to be serving Mr. Harry Potter, Sir!"

"Captain Harry Potter Sir, Cook Dobby!" Sirius corrected with a grin. "He's usurped my authority and demanded a co-captainancy, the rogue!"

"Oooh, Harry Potter is the bestest wizard ever!" the house elf squealed softly before grinning happily. "Dobby will be making an extra special dinner!" And with a pop the little elf was gone.

"So… Is that the whole crew?" Harry blinked slightly before glancing over at a suddenly snorting Sirius, before a pair of cracks immediately rippled through the air as the Weasley twins appeared before them.

"Harry!"

"Captain!"

"Yes, Oh loyal minions?" Harry offered as he smiled innocently at the two.

"Minions?" The pair chorused, eyeing the boy with crossed arms.

"Of course." Harry agreed with a sage nod of his head. "If I'm going to be a proper pirate captain, I need loyal minions."

"Wait, we thought…"

"…Sirius was going to be the Captain?"

"If we'd known it was going to be Harry…"

"… We've have joined up with a lot less negotiating."

"Well, we're sharing the title for now," Harry admitted, before speaking in a stage whisper to the pair. "Can I count on you two when its time for the mutiny?"

"But of course, Harry."

"We wouldn't have it any other way!"

"You can count on my vote." The recovered Nymphadora chimed in, eyeing the teen with a slight smirk on her lips.

"But… but… Nymmie, we're family!" Sirius whined slightly. "How can you pick him over me?"

"Have you looked at the rest of our family lately?" The young woman shot back.

"I…" Sirius paused a moment, considering, before his jaw snapped shut and he hung his head. "Dammit, I can't win can I?"

"Against me?" Harry offered, smiling slightly and shrugging a bit. "Probably not." He grinned over at Nymphadora before chuckling just a bit. "What'd he offer you to be my cabin wench?"

Smirking, the girl leaned in, and whispered down into the boy's ear. For a moment, the boy paused, stroking his chin, and shaking his head. "Absolutely outrageous! You're worth far more than that! Sirius, how dare you demean the value of your cousin!"

"I was hoping for a family discount?" Sirius offered hopefully.

"I demand you apologize to her, immediately!" Harry shot back, crossing his arms about his chest and giving his godfather a stern look.

"Or else?" Sirius put forth challengingly.

"Do you really want me to give you the or else?" Harry paused a moment, before slowly, casually, just… SMILING at his godfather. "I mean, really, truly sure?"

"Sometimes, I forget he's Lils' son too." Sirius just shuddered softly before looking at his cousin. "I apologize, cousin."

"So, any one else?" Harry asked curiously as he arched a brow at his godfather and smiled cheekily.

"A few of your classmates we've commandeered." One of the Weasley twins offered up.

"A few claws…"

"Some puffs…"

"Even a pair of snakes!"

"Cute ones though." The twin admitted.

"Davis and Greengrass?" Harry offered hopefully.

"Yup." The twins agreed in unison.

"Delightful." Harry responded with a sage nod of his head, before frowning a bit. "Ron and Hermione?"

"She's Hermione." One of the twins shot back with a shrug.

"Can you imagine her taking part in a venture like this?" The second agreed.

"Well, I had hoped." Harry admitted before sighing slightly. "And Ron?"

"Mum." Was the twins singular response.

"Bugger." Harry sighed slightly before shrugging a bit. "So, we're off to kidnap Fleur then?"

"Yup!" Sirius agreed happily as he gestured down the deck. "Helmsgirl Bones is guiding us there now!"

"Susan?" Harry blinked slightly, before staring incredulously at Sirius. "You got the Head of the DMLE's NEICE helming a pirate ship?!"

"Well, Amelia wanted to come herself, but someone had to make sure Fudge doesn't completely bugger everyone." Sirius responded with a shrug. "Susan and Nymmie here are our liaisons with her."

"Right, so, other than Fleur, do you actually have something in mind for pirating?"

"Fudge, Malfoy, a number of other dark diddlers who need to feel the sting of pirating justice!" Sirius grinned happily as he rubbed his hands together. "Oh, and the carriage she's on? Carrying a goodly portion of Malfoy's blood money." He paused a moment, before looking at Harry oddly. "How did you know we were going after Fleur?"

"I can't think of any other bird worth stealing that'd be on a French carriage?" Harry offered back with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "What about the underage magic detectors?"

"Oh, we'll get you to Ted for that." Sirius responded quickly nodding his head, before eying the boy carefully. "And we've got to get you to wardrobe, have to have you projecting the proper piratanical image!"

"Just so we're clear, we're all absolutely bonkers, yes?" Harry clarified.

"YUP!" came the chorus of replies.

"Just checking."

-o-o-o-

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid to inform you that we have been captured by a group of miscreants lead by the Dread Pirates BlackPaw and StagScar." The voice calmly called out across the magically expanded flying carriage. "If you will please have your valuables out and ready to be looted, we will be resuming our regularly scheduled flight with minimum delays."

"Take a carriage Mother said. It'll be nice she said. Air Pirates are absolutely unheard of these days she said!" Fleur sighed in disgust as she with drew her wand and glared at the door to her cabin, she'd not give up her things without fight!

When a figure appeared at the door, she let loose a particularly powerful piercing curse directly at it, before cursing softly as the figure managed to duck out of the way. "You filthy dogs! I won't give you a single knut!"

"Don't you know, Fleur, you're holding up the rest of this operation." A familiar voice called back, before before a black masked face popped around the corner of the door. "Really, must you always be such a troublesome minx?"

"Wha…?" Fleur's brow furrowed in response as she glimpsed a familiar pair of green eyes.

"Accio FLEUR!" And in that moment of confusion, she let off a startled yelp as she was summoned across the compartment and out the door, throwing her completely off guard as she crashed into a waiting black clad form.

Landing on his chest, the figure grinned teasingly back up at her as he snatched the wand right out of her hand. "Really Fleur, I never knew you liked to be on top so much."

Blushing brightly the girl peered down at the figure before blinking at him for a moment. "…Arry?"

Eyebrows waggled beneath the mask as she felt a hand slipping firmly to her waist, holding her into place. "That's the Dread Pirate Captain StagScar, my dear French wench!"

"Arry, what do you think you are doing?" The girl glared regally down at the boy, crossing her arms about her chest. "Playing pirate?"

"No playing about it, my dear." He grinned as he casually pushed back up, a grin that only grew as she let off a startled eep and slid down into his waiting lap. "We're plundering this carriage for two things."

"Two?" There was a hint of amusement in her eyes as she quickly regained her bearings, looking directly into the grinning boy's eyes.

"Yup, there was some DeathEater blood money we wanted as well." Harry responded back happily enough. "I do wish I could see Malfoy's face when he finds out."

"And the other prize?" She couldn't help but smile back at the amusing boy who's lap she'd found herself inadvertently occupying."

"Why, I need a cabin wench of course." He responded evenly enough.

Fleur blinked at that, then blinked again, before she stared at the boy for a long silent moment, then finally spoke. "You're kidnapping me, to make me your cabin wench?"

"But of course!" Harry agreed simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Who else would be better for the position?"

"… You have a pirate crew, and the only position you want me for is cabin wench?" The girl huffed, loudly as she crossed her arms about her chest, and pouted slightly. "Does being a triwizard champion mean nothing to you, Arry?"

"Fleur, I could never imagine you in just a single position." Harry assured her. "But, you will agree that a proper Dread Pirate, needs a down right impressive cabin wench, yes?"

"Well, I suppose." The girl reluctantly agreed as she shifted slightly on his lap. "And you are an impressive wizard."

"Then, shouldn't I have an equally impressive cabin wench?"

"But… but… I'm supposed to be interviewing for a new job!" Fleur whined softly, before pouting back at the boy.

"I don't suppose it would help to tell you that your sister sent your diary to BlackPaw?" Harry offered with an innocent smile on his lips.

"WHAT?! That little!" Fleur shrieked angrily, before the full implications of the statement hit her and she blushed, brilliantly. "Surely a gentleman such as yourself, would never invade a lady's privacy like that, Arry?"

"I, of course, wouldn't." He agreed as he lightly patted her finely shaped rump. "But, alas, BlackPaw is no gentleman. He was quite the avid fan, and alas, he did inform me of a great number of its contents."

"Oh." Fleur blushed brightly once more. "Then I suppose you'll be throwing me over your shoulder and carrying me off as your prize?"

"The most valuable and priceless one I could ever find on any French carriage I could imagine." Harry agreed cheerfully. "Shall we get your things?"

"If we must." Fleur sighed in defeat and before eying him speculatively. "Am I to be paraded about ze skimpy little outfits and made to serve you from my seat in your lap as you hold my helpless possessively to yours?"

"But of course, we even have a delightful selection of outfits waiting and ready to go." He paused a moment, before admitting. "No collars, but, we figured it would be best to wait for your input on that."

"Such a considerate Dread Pirate you are." Fleur responded with a happy smile. "Zen, shall we?"

"Your things first, my dear." Harry responded as she stood up, lifting her against his chest before guiding her back into her compartment. "We wouldn't want to deprive you of your things."

"Oh, how sweet!" She smiled and kissed his visible cheek before sashaying back towards her trunk with a visible wiggle of her hips.

"This is the best plunder a pirate could ask for." Harry noted, before grinning victoriously.

-o-o-o-

"My Lord?" Lucius Malfoy shivered slightly as the cold red eyes were settled upon him. "I…. regret to inform you that the delivery from our operations in France, has been… intercepted."

"What?! Who would dare?!" Voldemoret hissed angrily as he glared down at the man.

"According to the reports, it was… The Dread Pirates BlackPaw and StagScar."

"What?! Pirates?!" Voldemort hissed slightly and growled. "You're telling me my shipment was stolen by PIRATE?!"

"Dread Pirates, Sir." Lucius clarified carefully as he moved himself near a nervous looking Pettigrew.

"Damnation!" Voldemort growled slightly as he didn't even look as he threw the spell in Lucius' direction. "CRUCIO!"

So distracted was the Dark Lord, that he never noticed he'd hit Pettigrew instead of Lucius. "Is there any information about them?"

"Th-they took Fleur Delacour." Lucius produced with a stammer. " The Dread Pirate StagScar claimed her as his cabin wench!"

"Truly?" Voldemort frowned before pacing back and forth. "This does not bode well… not well at all."

"My Lord?"

"The more impressive the cabin wench, the more impressive the Dread Pirate! CRUCIO!" Voldemort again didn't bother to look, allowing Lucius to discreetly push Pettigrew into the way of the spell once more. "To have taken the Delacour girl as a cabin wench… I must think on this… This changes everything!"

"What about the prophesy my lord?" Lucius offered up, worriedly staring at the man.

"Oh, right that." Voldemort frowned a bit and twitched slightly. "Severus! Is that old fool still keeping the Potter brat isolated?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Hmph, and that fool Fudge is playing perfectly into my hands…" Voldemort frowned slightly again. "Ah well, What kind of dread pirate would specifically target a Dark Lord?"

-o-o-o-

Harry and Sirius both sneezed simultaneous before blinking at one another and shrugging it off.