12
They were cruising, the cameras build into the vehicle long since forgotten as Gwen offered another game of 'I SPY' that made Owen tantrum like a three year old.
"I told you we needed a full harness for that one" Ianto said dryly, "I fear he may escape his restraints and rampage."
Sniggering Owen hooted like a monkey as Jack looked over at Ianto, clearly surprised by the cheeky mood and he smiled softly, hoping it meant he was forgiven for the kiss.
"I hate the countryside, it's dirty, it's unhygienic" Owen said after a tirade, "What the hell is that SMELL!"
"That would be grass" Gwen said blandly.
"It's disgusting" Owen said, then tantrumed some more and Jack now clearly saw a three year old throwing himself about.
They pulled into the parking lot of the Brynblaidd B&B as Owen muttered "Thank fuck for that."
"For the cameras there will be the campsite out back" Jack said as he turned in the seat, "It's just a ten minute hike so we can come back for meals and such between takes, OK? The township is abandoned so we can have some fun."
"Why?" Ianto asked.
"Because otherwise it will be boring" Owen replied.
"I think Ianto wants to know why it is deserted" Tosh said softly and Jack blinked.
"Oh. Dunno" Jack shrugged, "We were just able to hire the place so…I did."
"I wanna pick my room" Owen said as he struggled from the seatbelt, "That burger has not agreed with me."
"I did warn you!" Tosh called out as she reached for her bag only to find Ianto already had it for her, "Oh thank you Ianto."
"Not to worry, those heels are not conducive to carrying weight" Ianto smiled, "I will carry your bags for you Toshi and then you can change to trainers."
Jack snagged his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder then followed them inside as Gwen looked at her own bags sitting there forlornly. After she realised the others were heading in with their own equipment she angrily snatched up her bags and followed muttering about chauvinism. She found them in the foyer as Owen was already racing up the stairs yelling that he had first dibs.
"Let him go" Jack said happily, "They are all the same, let him think he got the best one, it will make him happy. Funny wee bugger likes to have the best."
"So I've noticed" Ianto said dryly as Jack signed them all in.
"Right, unpack and settle, we will go out to film before we lose the light, get some establishing shots of the camping ground." Jack said as he held a key up and Owen raced down to snatch it, then frown.
"How did you know I chose the honeymoon suite!" he demanded.
"The claw foot bath I saw on the website pics" Jack replied, "You like those."
"Love them" Owen muttered as he took off again and Ianto grinned.
Ianto entered his room and looked around, finding a double bed and a comfortable setting. The age old 'granddad' style was always appealing to him. He rang home and spoke with the kids, finding that they were heading out for a while, Rhia taking them to the park so it was shorter then he would have liked. He felt homesick.
They were soon in the SUV, pulling into the campsite and they knew it was action, piling out and starting the show.
There were a few words and then "No other race in the universe goes camping. Celebrate your own uniqueness."
Ianto tried to stay in character but then came the whole "Who did you last kiss" game and he glanced at Jack who looked like a deer caught tin the headlights. Really? He kisses him and then is unable to say it out loud? Was it that bad?
He takes a morbid delight in saying it was Lisa, remembering the storyline as Jack blinked and they all balk as it becomes clear they had forgotten the cameras. Jack gave a shit eating grin as he made a comment about alien life forms and they were back on track. Then came the screaming and crying as Ianto calmly ran crime scene tape around the perimeter, the special effects guys had outdone themselves there and he was glad when it was called on account of light.
Ianto found Gwen in the corridor of the old B&B as he headed out to place his damp jacket in the wet room, wringing her hands, her eyes wide, "Ianto. I think it's haunted, it's creeping me out."
"This is creeping you out?" Ianto snorted, "The bloody shoot tomorrow is creeping me out. Jack won't say anything except that there are cameras throughout the village. I just keep thinking if that horror movie where they all thought it was an FBI exercise and as each one was picked off they all thought it wasn't real. Jesus, I could be wrong but I usually get horror plots right and if I am right we are in for some nasty surprises."
"We get the SUV, find the alien lair or nest or whatever, burn down the barn and go home" Gwen frowned "No big deal."
Ianto sighed as he fought the urge to tell her the last lady who had told him it was no big deal had been led to her death.