Practically Family

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Notes: Just a silly little ficlet I needed to get out of my system.

"… Naruto, what are you doing with my sister?" The dull monotone make the blonde shinobi freeze immediately before he slowly turned his head to behold a familiar pair of dull, jade eyes.

"Oh, hey, Gaara." Naruto waved slightly from underneath the sheets, before blinking slightly. "Huh, is it seven already?"

"… I decided to come home early." Was the simple response as the young Kazekage tilted his head to the side. "And again, what're you doing with my sister?"

"Well, I did think it would be kinda obvious." Naruto grinned sheepishly as he could feel the older girl tensing at his side. "You're aware that you can be a bit… intimidating, yes?"

"Grown shinobi nearly wetting themselves when I frown has led me to this conclusion, yes." Gaara tilted his head a bit more to the side. "What exactly does this have to do with why you're in bed with my sister?"

"Because, he's the only guy I know that's willing to?" Temari spoke up as she lightly clung against Naruto's side. "Do you know how IMPOSSIBLE it is for me to get a date with you as my brother?"

"… No." Gaara admitted in his simple flat tone before glancing back at a sheepishly grinning Naruto. "Aren't you supposed to be on a training mission with Jiraiya?"

"Ayup." Naruto agreed with a firm nod of his head. "I just slip away every few months to visit Temari-chan."

"Haven't you noticed those days I'm so much more relaxed?" Temari asked as she glanced curiously at her youngest brother.

"I simply thought you'd killed one of the perverts that tried to peep on you." A shrug again before he frowned once more, before staring into Naruto's eyes looking… hurt. "All those visits, and you didn't come and say hello?"

"Well, it's more that Temari-chan tends to grab me as soon as I step foot in Suna, and doesn't let me leave the bedroom until it's time for me to go." Naruto paused a moment, lightly tapping his lower lip, before lightly offering up a stage whisper to Gaara. "She doesn't like to share."

"I AM right here you know." Temari huffed slightly and grumbled just a bit. "And I'm having to have Naruto stuff something in my mouth to keep me quiet."

"She's very... vocal." Naruto offered up with a sheepish shrug of his shoulder as he caught Gaara's questioning look.

"... Of that I am aware." Turning his head Gaara locked his eyes onto his sister and frowned as he crossed his arms about his chest. "You will cease your monopoly of Naruto's time in Suna."

"Like hell I will! With all the stupidity I have to put up with?! I NEED my Naruto time!" Temari growled back as she glared at her youngest brother defiantly.

"... Naruto, are orders from your Kage usually ignored in your village?" Gaara tilted his head slightly in curiosity as he glanced at the blue eyed shinobi in bed with his sister.

"I think it's less of an ignoring what her Kage is telling her, more of an ignoring what her little brother is telling her situation." Naruto offered carefully as he glanced between Temari and Gaara, wincing slightly as the tension in the room immediately started to rise. "Um, I don't suppose I could offer..."

"No." The stereo response immediately shut him up as he carefully shrank back into the covers and started to nudge himself to the edge of the bed.

"The Kazekage has NO say in what I do with my personal life!"

"All affairs involving ninja, especially foreign ninja fall under my jurisdiction."

"Like hell! Konoha is an ally and you sure as hell know that they're not going to break the treaty, and you know that you're not going to!"

"I fail to see the relevance of your point."

Naruto winced slightly before quietly sneaking off the bed, slipping on his boxers and pants as he went before scurrying out of the room as fast as he could. A moment later, he found himself down the hall and in the kitchen, letting off a slight wince as the rising volume of the eldest and youngest of the three siblings' voices reached his ears. For a moment, he considered going back, if only to make doubly sure that Gaara didn't kill Temari, before he heard another familiar voice speak up.

"So, Gaara finally found out about your little... visits?" Kankuro looked up from where he was eating a bowl of ramen and arched a paint free eyebrow at Naruto.

"Yup." Naruto flopped down into the chair across from the older teen and winced as he heard something break in the distance. "Apparently Gaara's upset because I didn't visit him as well."

"Well, you are the closest thing he has to a best friend." Kankuro noted as he took another bite of his noodles. "And you are the only guy that can get away with sleeping with my sister."

"You are okay with that, right?" Naruto paused as he suddenly remembered exactly what Kankuro's specialty was. "I don't need to worry about any... accidents, do I?"

"... I'm the sane one, remember?" Kankuro gave the blonde teen a flat look. "Do I look dumb enough to try anything with Gaara's best friend and Temari's boyfriend?"

"Well, just, uh, ya know, checking." Naruto scratched the back of his head and chuckled nervously. "It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Meh, you're practically family." The boy waved off the blonde's nervousness before his eyes suddenly hardened. "Though, if you make me an uncle any time soon, I WILL be a bit upset."

"Err... Noted." Naruto quickly nodded his head, ducking his chin before he froze. "Um... do you hear that?"

"... No, I don't hear anything." Kankuro paused, his face suddenly very worried as he glanced towards the hallway where he saw both his siblings glaring openly at him. "Oh boy."

"QUIT TRYING TO STEAL MY NARUTO!"

As the blonde in question heard the chorused response, he sent Kankuro a pitying look. "You'll be in my prayers."