I just wanted to remind you, that this is really fucked up, all of it

None of this makes any sense geographically, and I refuse to fix it

I just needed to write something with a sad ending

V. And all I can feel is this moment

Driving with a hangover isn't ideal, but Evan is very careful behind the wheel, so Connor isn't particularly worried. They woke up tangled into one another, not for the first time, but lately it's become harder to pull away, to pretend like they don't enjoy this, like they're not gonna think about it for the better portion of the day; and deep in their heads, behind all the rumble and noise that's pushing them forwards, they know the other feels the same.

For Connor it started back in rehab, on a day where they were allowed to the patio, and Connor saw for the first time the way Evan Hansen looked happy. Every other encounter Evan had been deluded, awkward, distant, unsure, his depression and his anxiety took turns while the place broke whatever spirit he had left; Connor probably didn't help.

For Evan it was slower, it grew over time the closer he got to Connor, the more he learned about the other, he had at one point fancied his sister, but Zoe was normal, she would have stopped Evan, would have given him something to hold on to for a bit, and then when it all fell back on him, she wouldn't get it, he saw the way she acted around Connor, like she could only see how he was affecting her, and not how he was affecting himself. It was when Evan realized that he could see it, and that he cared and understood, that he knew he loved Connor, but that couldn't save either of them.

Driving with a hangover means that they're quiet, and being quiet means there's room for those ridiculous thoughts that linger on the line between philosophical and shower thoughts.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-{-...-...-.- .-...-..}-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Since they already had the tent, they decided to drive to a camping site, a place where they could show last minute, and bought whatever they didn't already have with them, since it was just the two of them, they had plenty of space in the car.
Connor was a simple man, one that was impossibly in love with Evan Hansen, and that was a simple thing; in Connor's head Evan was the only one to actually give a shit about him, the only one to be honest with Connor, the only one who didn't run away or push Connor away just because he was different; and the only person to actually understand Connor.

Evan loved forests, loved being surrounded by trees, away from social interaction, and Connor loved Evan; it was that simple. Had it been anyone else, Connor would have worried about one of them flaking, about one of them talking the other down just because of this; but this was Evan, and this was him, and they trusted each other.

Time finds them laying in a clearing, illuminated only by the moon and the stars that have taken over the entirety of the sky, and they're side by side, admiring how miniscule they are in comparison to everything. Evan turns, making eye contact with Connor who follows his example, no questions asked, and he smiles softly, in that way only Evan can, two parts exhausted and broken, one part caring and loving.

"I'm glad I'm doing this with you"

His voice is barely above a whisper, carried by the soft breeze, and he's everything that matters in the universe condensed into one body, and Connor wants the authority to lean over and kiss him, but he doesn't.

"Me too"