And I don't see
How you could ever be
Anything but mine.
-Kenny Chesney, 'Anything But Mine'
Zuko sat beside the campfire with a paintbrush in his hand, putting the details on what he hoped was the last mask he would ever have to paint. He wasn't nearly as skilled as Chi Lin, who turned out to have been classically trained as a child in the fine arts. He could turn out a mask in five minutes, while Zuko was still on his first of the hour. He cursed to himself as he smudged a line, trying to cover it up. This was stupid.
The masks had been Sokka's idea, a way to throw off the Fire Nation soldiers in the villages. He had taken the idea from Zuko's Blue Spirit mask and had adapted it. The masks were light wood, all carved the same, painted with the traditional water tribe war paint. Most had carved their own masks, but Sokka had helped those who were too busy or had no artistic skill. He had explained to Zuko that he wanted to create the impression that they were an army of avenging water tribe spirits, seeking justice for the genocide of their people. He had a giant grin on his face as he explained it, excited by the reaction they could get. He had been disappointed when Zuko hadn't shared his enthusiasm. Sokka had gone on to explain that the masks and identical black outfits would confuse the soldiers when some of them were earth and fire benders, and the removal of identity would unite them. Zuko pointed out that their own troops would be confused as to who their leaders were if everyone looked the exact same. Sokka had raised a solitary finger and pulled out three unpainted masks carved identically to Zuko's, and six that were similar but not exactly the same. He explained that two of the identical masks would be given to the other two generals, and the six similar ones would go to the next highest ranking officers, two for each of the three armies. Zuko had grudgingly agreed that it was a good idea, but that there was one identical mask left over.
Sokka had looked at him like he was stupid. "That one's for Katara."
Zuko hadn't said anything, confused.
"Like she's going anywhere without you." Sokka had rolled his eyes. "You might as well present a united front." He had sighed at Zuko's frown. "Look, she won't lead her own army because she wants to stay to protect you." He talked over Zuko's interruption that he could protect himself. "But she's a good leader, and she's been in battles before." Zuko shifted guiltily. "She'll be great as your…deputy general, second in command, whatever. Especially since your army will be bigger than ours." Sokka had offered Katara's unpainted mask to Zuko, who had taken it. "You know you want her where you know you can see she's safe." Sokka had looked him in the eyes. "I know I do."
Zuko had nodded in gratitude. His mask would stay blue, for the ocean. Katara's would be white and silver for the moon. The other generals', Sokka's and Chi Lin's, would be painted red and green, respectively. Mixing up their traditional colors would create further confusion. Zuko was finishing up Katara's mask, adding the last touch of silver paint to the eery grimace. He hoped it fit Katara's face; it was a little large.
His army of three hundred and twenty had split from Romjak's villagers two days ago when they came to the Great Divide. Romjak and his Uncle had headed North with the women, children, elderly, and anyone else who didn't want to fight. A hundred warriors went with them, a mix of all nations. As they headed out, Zuko had noticed a small green blur split off and hide among the eel hounds of Zuko's militia. Zuko had pretended not to notice, allowing Kaya to tag along. He knew Katara would throw a fit, but he would rather have her under his army's protection, safe, than on the road facing unknown dangers.
Iroh had thrown his arms around Zuko to the sniggers and taunts of his generals. Zuko's face had been beet red when Iroh withdrew.
"I know people have been telling you not to trust Kozan and his people," Iroh had said to him. "That because they have betrayed one Fire Lord, they will do the same to you. But to them, and to me, you have always been the true Fire Lord, and they did not see it as betrayal, but as joining the service of the rightful heir."
Iroh's words were echoing through his head as Katara walked towards him, Kaya trailing behind her looking grumpy "Zuko?" Zuko looked up, the mask finished. "The generals want to meet, since they're leaving tomorrow."
Zuko nodded, standing to join her. He handed her the silvery mask, watching as she turned it over in her hands.
"It's beautiful." She said, awed.
"It's yours." He replied, turning to Kaya. He scooped her up, making her giggle, and set her on his shoulders. She whooped with glee, wrapping her arms around his head. He clutched her ankles, steadying her. "How does it fit?"
Katara slipped it on, tying the string tight behind her head. It was a little loose, but the black zukin she would wear under it should make it snugger. At least the eye holes were in the right place.
"You look scary, mom." Kaya said. Katara pulled the mask off and smiled.
"Thank you, Zuko." She gave him a kiss, standing on her tiptoes so he wouldn't have to bend, and tangled their fingers together as they walked towards the meeting tent.
"Gross." Kaya muttered from atop Zuko's shoulders. Zuko chuckled. "Do I get a mask?"
"Children who don't listen don't get anything." Katara grumbled. "You're lucky we didn't chase Iroh down and strap you to him."
Kaya mumbled grumpily on Zuko's shoulders. Zuko decided not to get in the middle. The sun hung low in the sky; it would be dark soon.
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The tent was large and noisy when Zuko and Katara walked in. Kaya scrambled down from Zuko's shoulders and ran to stand next to Chi Lin at the head of the makeshift table that took up the majority of the large tent. Zuko pressed through the throng to stand beside Chi Lin, Katara and Sokka trailing behind him. At his approach, most of the ruckus died down. Zuko looked up, and noticed that fire nation stood among earth nation who stood among water tribe. The nations mixed together in front of him: his vision of the future.
"Good evening." Zuko said. A murmur of returns. "Tomorrow, Sokka takes seventy five warriors and heads South to begin siege on Omashu." Sokka nodded. "Chi Lin takes eighty, and heads East to begin liberating the small villages on the coast. He will meet Sokka in Omashu." Chi Lin gave a single curt nod. Zuko noted that he was still upset. "I will take the remaining one hundred and seventy five and travel across the Serpent's Pass to begin siege in the North. I hope to meet up with the resistance, and send reinforcements back as soon as possible." He turned to Chi Lin. "Have you chosen your command?"
"Yes." Chi Lin nodded, beckoning. "I will take Kozan and Hohots as my lieutenants." The two men approached to stand by him, Kozan looking stately compared to the younger man. Hohots was one of the watertribe men of Sokka's People and a phenomenal water bender.
"Suki and Bae are mine." Sokka said. Suki already stood beside him as Bae walked forward grinning. He had been Moswren's prodigy, and was regarded equal in skill to his former master. Jimoz would be going with them as well.
Zuko nodded. For his own, he had chosen Motzu and Denali. Motzu, one of the first Firebenders to join him, was a younger man and had been Kozan's second in their secret group in the army. Denali was second in command of Sokka's People; only Katara had ever bested him in sparring. Katara would be as Sokka had suggested: second only to Zuko in command of the army and his successor if the worst were to happen. Kaya would be coming with them, under the watchful eye of her mother.
"Each command will have several eel hounds, supplies, and healers." Zuko said to the nods of his fellows. "We have two messenger hawks, thanks to Zorak." The young man beamed, a hawk balanced on each shoulder. "Chi Lin and Sokka will each take one. Make sure to write in the water tribe language. We think it's the least able to be read if they're intercepted." More nods. "Hopefully, any water tribe member that is forced to read it will lie." Sokka and Katara glanced at each other. It was reminder of their father, trapped in the capital. "Are there any concerns?" He was met with silence. They all knew what the morning would bring, what the risks were. It was up to each general to design their attack strategies, based on what they found at their destinations. "We leave at dawn. Tell your men."
The meeting broke up, lieutenants walking together and raising hands to Zuko as they left. Kaya, Katara, Sokka, and Suki bunched together near the tent entrance to talk. It could be a long time before they saw each other again. Zuko knew it hurt Katara to let them leave so soon after they had returned to her. He started in her direction, but Chi Lin's voice held him back.
"You know I do not like this." Zuko turned to him. The other man's voice was soft, his murky eyes fixed on the map. "I would rather stay." He looked at Zuko. "To protect her."
"I know." Zuko murmured. "But I don't trust anyone else to lead your army."
Chi Lin nodded, letting out what Zuko, on another man, would swear was a huff. "I have been protecting her for seven years. I know it is your job now," He gave Zuko a half smile. "but I feel I am abandoning her."
"Is there anyone else who can do what you do?" Zuko asked. "Anyone else who has had the training, has the skill, or the dedication you do?"
"No." Chi Lin answered simply.
"Until this war is won, I need you as my general." Zuko said, turning to face Chi Lin. He understood Chi Lin's reluctance, his loyalty to Katara. "If you can find a replacement, I would welcome your skills in the North."
"I will keep my eyes open." Chi Lin offered his hand to Zuko, who clasped his forearm. "And bring honor to my rank while I do."
"That's all I can ask." Zuko watched after him as he left, nodding to Katara on his way out. Katara gathered Kaya in her arms and walked with Sokka and Suki to stand beside Zuko.
"This feels familiar." Katara murmured.
"Sort of." Sokka agreed. "Team Avatar, version two!"
"It's more like Team Zuko now." Suki pointed out. "The Avatar's gone."
Zuko's eyes shot to Kaya's. She glanced at him, then down. Sokka noticed and frowned.
"Either way." Katara said. She looked at the ground. "I wish Toph was here."
Sokka put an arm around her. "Yeah." His face turned thoughtful. "I wonder what she'd look like now."
Suki whacked him on the arm. "Is that really important?"
"I'm just curious, woman!"
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Their evening meal was quiet that night. The assigned armies sat mingled together, saying goodbye for what could be the last time. Earth kingdom sat mingled with fire nation and water tribe, all enjoying the same meals, the same fires, the same company. Katara, Sokka, and Suki had been bunched together again, swapping stories from years before. Several of Zuko's former students sat crowded around them, entranced by adventures. Peals of laughter would echo across the campsite, making many men smile or shake their heads. Katara had left them a short while ago, exhausted from the long day.
Zuko sat between Kozan and Kaya at another fire, the latter slumping lower and lower with the sun. He finally picked her up when her nose hit her plate. Kozan stood with him.
"Are you her father?" he asked. "With your lady?"
"No." Zuko replied quietly. His lady…hmmm. "I don't know whose she is."
"Well, you do great with her." Kozan walked with him towards the tents. "Like a real father." His gruffly spoken words made Zuko feel warm inside. "When you have your own, it's even better."
"You have children?" Zuko asked, stopping in front of his tent.
"Three, back in the Fire Nation." Kozan said. "Two girls, one boy. Miss them every day."
"Are they safe?"
"They're with my father. So, in a way."
Zuko smirked. He wished he knew the feeling. No child of his would ever be safe around his own father. Kozan nodded to Zuko and continued on to his own tent, arms clasped behind his back.
Zuko stood watching after him for a heartbeat before pushing aside the flaps of his tent. He walked in to find Katara undressing for the night, pulling her shirt up over her head. She turned and smiled when she saw him with a sleeping Kaya, holding the cloth to her chest. She turned, pulling out a sleeveless tunic to sleep in. As she turned, he saw her back. The burn scars.
"Katara…" It had always been dark. She had faced away. He hadn't seen them. She turned to him, pulling the sleep tunic over her head, covering them. "…your back."
How many times had he seen those scars. On maids, servant girls, kitchen girls…his father had always enjoyed marking his conquests. But none had been the size of Katara's. They had been small, less than the size of a palm, hidden under robes even in front of each other. He had seen their shamed eyes when they slipped from his father's rooms, seen him watching and looked away, tugging their robes up just in case the marks showed. They were always the same: a large circle for the first time, smaller circles that formed spokes of a sun pattern for each time after. Some, like Zuko's nurse when he was a child, flaunted the marks. She left her shoulders bared so everyone could see them. But most hadn't been there by choice.
Katara's back had a large circle, the size of a hand, in the center of her spine. The spokes of the sun reached almost past her ribs and up to her shoulders. They were faded, shiny and pink. But he had seen them.
Kaya's eyes.
"Zuko?" Katara stood and started walking to him. Zuko strode past her and laid Kaya down gently in the bedroll. He grabbed Katara by the wrist and tramped back out, ignoring her protests that she was only half dressed. He pulled the first soldier he saw aside and told him to watch the tent. The soldier nodded and stood beside the flaps as Zuko led Katara from camp.
They walked together into the woods, Zuko slipping his grip down to grasp her hand. He stopped once the camp was out of sight and turned to her. Her face was confused and annoyed. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him expectantly.
"Why'd you drag me out here?"
"Katara…" How was he even supposed to start? "Your back…I…I've seen those scars before."
Katara's eyes widened, became panicked. She looked away from him, hugging her arms closer to her body.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Zuko asked, stepping closer to her but she backed up. "Why couldn't you trust me with this? Me?"
"What was I supposed to say?" Katara cried, tears springing in her eyes. "How was I supposed to tell you that Kaya thinks you're her father because you look so much like her, because you have the same father?" She covered her mouth to keep the sobs in.
"Does he know?"
She shook her head. "I…I escaped before I even knew."
Zuko took a breath. "Who knows?"
"Sokka. That's all." She sniffed, the tears threatening to spill. "He guessed when…when we had talked when he got here."
"So you could tell him, but not me?" Zuko shouted.
"He's my brother!" Katara screamed. Zuko turned away, frustrated. "He figured it out! I didn't want him to know either!"
"Ever?" Zuko whirled back around. "We were all just supposed to guess? Assume it was some random fire nation man?"
"Yes!" She shouted, glaring at him. "She's not safe if everyone knows! He'd have her killed!"
"No." Zuko said, his voice hard. "He'd want to control her. Use her. Make her like Azula."
"I'd never let that happen." Katara growled. "She's my daughter, Zuko. Mine. No one will take her from me."
Zuko walked over to her but she pushed him away. He tried again, gripping her wrists and pulling her to him. She tried to brush him away, but he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and clasped the back of her head, pulling her to him. She folded against him, burying her head in the hollow of his neck. He held her as she cried, so many emotions running through him. Betrayal, hurt, anger, grief. Sad for Katara, love for Katara. Love for Kaya, and pain if she ever found out. He kissed her forehead and she whimpered.
"I'm sorry." He kissed her again. "I'm sorry, Katara."
"Me too." She whispered. "I should have told you. I just…didn't want you to look at me, or at Kaya, and see him. See what he's done."
"Never." Zuko lifted her face to his. "How can…how can you look at me and not see him?"
"I just see you." She whispered, running a gentle hand across his scar.
"I just see you, too." He answered, and kissed her hard, trying to pour all of his feelings for her into the kiss. She responded, clinging to him. He pulled back, holding her to him. "I love you, Katara." The words didn't feel like enough, couldn't describe the depth of what he felt for her.
She seemed to understand as she craned her head up to kiss his neck. "I love you too, Zuko." He saw the frustration on her face, and knew for her, the words weren't enough either. He bent down to kiss her, letting his lips linger long and sweet on hers. She smiled as they broke apart, and he wiped the last tear from her cheek.
"C'mon." He said, taking her hand. "Let's go to bed." She nodded and followed him back out of the woods.
As they lay down together, Zuko stripped off his shirt and wrapped his arms around Katara, holding her against his chest, her head pillowed on the hollow of his shoulder. Kaya lay sprawled out beside her, limbs going in every direction, her mouth hanging open with soft snores coming from her. A thought raced through his head that she got that from her Uncle, their Uncle, but he shook it off. A stronger, better, thought came then, that he was related to Kaya, through blood. She was a part of him, even if it was in an unexpected way.
"I could claim her." He murmured, making Katara stir. "She has my blood. She could be mine, for all anyone else knows."
She looked up at him with her big blue eyes. "Are you…ready for that?"
"I don't know." He looked down at her. "I'm not ready for her to be someone else's. Ever."
Katara grinned. "She picked you. She's never done that with anyone else. Chi Lin was the closest, but she dubbed him 'wrong.'" She nuzzled her head against his shoulder. "She's already yours, in her eyes."
"What about your eyes?"
"We're both yours, in my eyes." She whispered, her eyes fluttering closed. "And you're ours."
He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair. "Yeah."
A commotion outside brought the three of them bolting straight up. A loud screeching rocketed around the camp, followed by curses and shouts. Zuko thrust the tent flaps aside, snarling. He gestured for her to stay put, and Katara lay back in the bedroll with Kaya, comfortable that Zuko could handle it.
Zuko strode out, looking around for the source of the shrieking. He saw the rest of the nearby camp looking up and saw a white blur rocketing around in circles. It launched towards him as he stepped out, hurtling close over his head. He ducked, cursing.
"Fire Lord!" Jimoz and Hohots ran up to him, their swords drawn. He shooed them away: the white blur looked vaguely familiar.
It shot towards him again, landing on his shoulder and scrabbling around his head with a burring noise. It had giant ears and a dark face, it's long ringed tail tickling his ear. It hissed at the approaching soldiers, green eyes glistening.
"Momo?" Katara's voice came from behind him. Zuko turned gingerly, not wanting the creature to scratch him. "Oh spirits! Momo!"
The flying lemur transferred his affections to Katara to the delighted squeals of Kaya. He purred as he nudged against her hair, making her laugh.
"It's leg." Jimoz said, pointing to a rolled up piece of paper tied to the lemur's leg.
Katara removed it and held it out to Zuko, preferring to stroke Momo's soft fur. It had been so long…
Zuko broke the green and gold wax seal and unfurled the tightly wrapped scroll. He read it once, and didn't understand.
"Katara, do you understand this? 'Tell Snoozles that if he steals one more berry from my favorite bush I'll have Sugar Queen freeze him. That goes for you too, Sparky.'"
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A.N.: :D
To Guest: Thank you! Sokka's always right
To Kat-Tastrophe: Hehehehe I hope it played out well for you Team Zutara ftw!
To Guest: I wanted Zhao's death to be what he deserved, but Katara has always been a merciful person in my mind, and I could bet the spirits wanted revenge on Zhao for the north pole (even if he did technically die in the show…) Thanks!
To Guest: Thank you! We've still got a long way to go…
To Raawiyah: You literally made me wiggle in my seat from warm fuzzies. Thank you so much for your review!