Saw you in the front row
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.
A/N: I realise that this started out as a Cas POV fic and then turned into a third person one, but after some tinkering I decided I preferred being able to write Dean as well so this is third person from now on, hope you enjoy x
Chapter 3: War
Cas looked around delightedly as people filed into the large party hall.
People had already complimented him on how well the room was decorated, and if Cas was being honest he was quite proud of himself.
This was the night the LGBT Centre celebrated all those that had helped or contributed to the gay community over the last year and Cas had been so damn proud to get the responsibility of planning it.
Obviously there had been a few bumps on the way what with Balthazar playing his drums every hour of the day and dragging Cas to rock concerts and the like, but Cas had finally sat down and sorted out the seating plan and he was done and he couldn't be more pleased.
Cas clapped politely as a man was asked on stage to accept an award for staging a protest against the arrest of a gay youth for kissing his boyfriend, what amazing times they lived in.
"Cas-" came a voice from behind, Cas swivelled in his seat to see Patrick, the treasurer of the event, lean in next to him. "You've done a wonderful job, this place looks great, and all under budget."
Cas tried not to blush. "Oh, thank you, Patrick, that means a lot."
"Keep up the good work," Patrick said, winking, before walking off.
Cas settled back into his seat, smiling, his evening couldn't get any better. Although...Cas turned again, in the direction of the door, but of course it was empty, it had been empty all night.
Balthazar hadn't turned up, of course he hadn't, he had said he wasn't going to show up but a small part of Cas had hoped that he would have been joking or changed his mind and would turn up anyway to surprise him. But the more he thought about it, the more ludicrous the idea became, it wasn't in Balthazar's nature to do things like that. Although Cas wished that it was, he wished that maybe it would occur to him to make some sort of effort on his behalf.
But, determined not to be upset, Cas turned away from the door and looked back to the stage, applauding at the woman on stage despite the fact he hadn't been paying attention to what she had gotten her award for.
…
"It's in Wisconsin, I don't know why, but we'll have to go there for a few days."
Cas opened his mouth to protest but Balthazar hadn't finished talking. "I mean, they moved there after the funeral but..."
Cas had tuned out at this point, he didn't like simply ignoring Balthazar when he was talking but sometimes he just had too, sometimes he couldn't help himself. Besides, sometimes Balthazar said some really ridiculous things. At the moment, from what Cas could gather, Balthazar had decided that they needed to leave for Wisconsin because Wayward Sons were holding their auditions for their new drummer and Bal still thought he should go for it.
"I'm not sure I should go with you." Said Cas eventually. Balthazar stopped what he was doing and looked at his boyfriend.
"What do you mean, why not?"
"Because," began Cas, trying to sound as soothing as possible, "I don't really want to be away from Gabriel, or the centre, after the other night, they said..."
"Oh, come on," Balthazar insisted, "we'll only be gone for a few days, then we'll come straight back."
Suddenly, an insane thought went through Cas' mind, what if, incredibly, Balthazar did get it, what if they chose him? Would he stay in Wisconsin? Would he tour? Would he leave Cas behind after all they'd been through?
Cas didn't want to know the answer to those questions, even though he had an inkling as to what the answers were.
Instead, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and nodded. "Yeah, okay. I'll come to Wisconsin with you."
…
Cas carefully folded a tee shirt and placed it in his suitcase which was hanging open on the end of his bed. Gabriel watched on as Cas gathered more clothes from his closet.
Cas saw Gabriel looking at him and arched an eyebrow. "What?" He asked his brother.
"You're an idiot."
"What? What do you mean?"
Gabriel shook his head and climbed off of the bed. "I can't believe you are willingly travelling hundreds of miles to fulfil Bal's fantasy, I mean, I quite like the drums but I'm not running off to join a band."
Cas merely shrugged as he attempted to close his suitcase. "It's what he wants, isn't it?"
"Yeah, well, you wanted him to come and support you at the centre but I didn't see him there all night."
Cas ignored Gabriel pointedly, frustrated that his case was simply not complying with him. "Help me with this." He said.
Gabriel crossed to him and after a few minutes of deliberation, he placed his hands on the case in an attempt to weigh it down while Cas worked to get the zip around.
"Remind me again why you're with Balthazar."
Cas rolled his eyes. "Can I see you once without you bringing it up?" He said irritably.
"See? This is what I mean, you're pissed at him so you're pissed at me."
"I'm not pissed at anyone." Said Cas, sounding pissed.
"Look, he's nice enough, I know, but he's not right for you. Come on."
Cas sat down in defeat, leaving the case open. "I dunno, but, seriously," he ran his hands through his hair. "After what I've been through, who wants to be with me?"
…
"But, who'd want to be with me, after everything I've been through?" Asked Dean, nursing his beer.
From the other chair in their hotel room, Sam shrugged, flicking through a magazine. "I don't know."
"Well, you're bundles of help, aren't you." Said Dean sarcastically, taking another pull on his beer and flicking through the TV.
"Well, I don't know!"
"Well, you brought it up!"
The conversation had begun an hour ago, first of all Sam had asked how Dean was doing after Ash's funeral, which had lead them onto their childhood and then their teenage years and then of course, as usual, the subject had breached Dean's sexuality, it always ended up there no matter how hard Dean tried to stay away from it.
"I mean, lets be honest," he continued, "I'm pretty fucked up."
"Hmmm," the noise came from Sam's throat. "You also happen to be a fucking rock star."
Dean sighed loudly, thinking how much easier life would be if he could just go to a club with a woman on each arm but he hated club music and of course...
"I wish I was straight." Said Dean miserably, of course he didn't really mean that, but in relative terms he wished he was so he didn't have to protect everyone, he wished he could just live in a god damn world where he didn't have to choose between finding love or having a fucking job.
"I don't." Sam commented, causing Dean to look up.
"Really, why?"
Sam cocked his head to one side as he looked at his brother. "Well, because you're just so damn fun to be around."
Dean couldn't help it, he laughed loudly and flung the remote at his brother.
"Ow! Dick."
The pair lapsed into comfortable silence for a few minutes before Sam spoke again. "Tell you what, I still think we're taking a risk, opening up these auditions to the public."
Dean shrugged, unsure of how many times he'd have to explain it. "I just want someone new, you know, someone who isn't completely caught up in the crapfest that is "history of the band". Someone who still has a bit of fun in them."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. This Ash thing, I never saw it coming."
Dean raised his beer slightly. "To Ash." He said. Sam inclined his bottle to Dean and echoed, "to Ash." Thinking to himself that the band definitely needed more fun.
…
Few times in Cas' life had he been so angry. He remembered being angry at his Dad for leaving his Mom and never getting back in contact, but after a while that had faded, he remembered being angry at his attacker when he'd been bashed, but when the trial had concluded and the man was put behind bars he was satisfied with the justice. But right now, he was fuming.
When they'd reached Wisconsin, they had gone to the hotel for a while to unpack, then gone out to get something to eat and then had somehow ended up in this bar to have a drink and it had been nice, until the company that was running the audition had called Balthazar and he had pretty much just abandoned Cas in the bar, in an unfamiliar state, with no idea how to get back to the hotel.
Cas was staring at his beer like he wanted to kill it, he was trying to stay calm but at the same time everything Gabriel had ever said to him about Balthazar was running through his mind.
Sam had gone to bed earlier that evening but Dean couldn't blame him, he'd been hanging out at the auditions alone because the rest of them were busy with promotion. When Sam had retired, Dean left the hotel room and found a bar, no where near tired yet.
It was decent bar, just like any other, he'd been to Wisconsin a few times in the past to do concerts but he'd never seen much of it, he momentarily wondered if he would find his hotel again.
Sitting up on a bar stool, Dean flagged the barman over to him. "What can I get you?" He asked.
"A beer, please." Said Dean.
As the barman passed him a bottle, his hand faltered and Dean closed his eyes, he was too tired for this right now.
"Hey, you aren't...?"
"From that band?" Dean interrupted, "Nah, I get it all the time, though."
"Oh," the barman nodded, "you really look like him." He said before shuffling off, Dean rolled his eyes and took a swig.
Dean scanned the area for a moment, just to make sure he hadn't accidentally stumbled into a hells angel bar, and that's when he noticed the man sat at the bar nursing a beer.
Dean frowned, he could swear he knew this guy but he couldn't think where from.
He wracked his brains, taking in his shock of dark hair and...
Holy shit. Dean immediately ducked his head down so he wouldn't see him. That...that was the guy from the concert in Illinois, the one that he thought was hot, the one he wrote that song about.
Dean sneaked another glance at him, he was tallish and slim, he was wearing a plain black tee shirt that hugged him, his hair was unruly and messy but he was turned away so Dean couldn't see those ice blue eyes he remembered so vividly.
Dean stared at the floor again, unsure what the hell to do, he supposed he should just slip out before anyone else could see him, the last thing he needed was someone snapping a picture of him chatting up some really attractive guy in a bar.
But the odds, the odds of finding this person again after all this time was just insane, he couldn't just leave it.
Dean had never believed in fate before but he had to be something.
Dean stood from his stool, leaving his drink behind and walked towards him. One thing about never really being able to have a real relationship was that his technique at chatting people up was a little bit rusty, assuming this man was gay.
Dean mentally slapped himself, he had performed infront of thousands of people, he could talk to one man.
Dean stood behind him, unsure of what to say to start off, but he didn't need a conversation starter as someone shoved past him and sent him crashing into the mystery man.
The mystery man cursed as his beer toppled onto the bar. Dean would have said something to the idiot that knocked him down but if he drew attention to himself he could risk being noticed so he let it go, as annoying as it was.
He instead sat down next to his mystery man. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, some idiot..."
He looked up at him and Dean could suddenly see his eyes.
Wow.
Cas stared, shocked at the man that had suddenly appeared next to him, the knock and the spilt beer suddenly dissolved into nothing as he saw him.
He didn't immediately recognise that this was Dean Winchester, first of all, all he saw was the beauty, he was so perfect.
His emerald eyes were sparkling with apology and only then did it occur to Cas who was infront of him.
"Oh God," he said without thinking, "you're..."
Dean Winchester put his finger to his lips, his full, pink lips and Cas stopped talking.
"No one recognises me here," Dean said quietly in that husky voice of his.
Cas nodded without thinking. "Oh, okay, yeah."
Dean smiled at him softly, "thanks."
Cas couldn't help but smile back, something about Dean's smile was instantly relaxing.
"Let me buy you another drink." Dean offered and Cas nodded.
"Okay."
Dean ordered Cas another beer and had no idea what he was doing, he was even more attractive close up and his smile was breathtaking. Be careful.
"I'm Dean," he said after a moment and Cas smiled again.
"Yeah, I know." He said, "I'm Castiel."
"Castiel?" Dean repeated in the way people always did.
Cas smiled again and Dean found he really, really wanted to keep Cas smiling. "Yeah, it's weird. I know, call me Cas, everyone else does."
"Okay, Cas." Said Dean and Cas could swear he could see a blush seeping out into Dean's cheeks. He didn't know what was happening, was he being hit on? Was the leader of Wayward Sons gay? Was he really being hit on by the sexiest man in the music industry?
And, if he was, he should have stopped it for Balthazar's sake, but he didn't.
"So, what do you do, Cas?" Dean asked.
"Oh," said Cas, unused to people asking about him. "I'm studying at the moment, but I kind of work at this centre for ummm, well for the LGBT community."
Cas wished he hadn't said that, he had basically just admitted to him that he was gay.
But Dean just looked at him. "That's cool, what are you studying?"
Oh God, Cas thought to himself. Oh shit, I think he's gay, I think he's gay and I think he thinks I'm gay. I am gay. Shit.
Dean was different close up, he was so much more defined and muscular and sweet and Cas felt his brain fogging up.
"What about you?" Asked Cas, in an attempt to seem more normal. "What do you do?"
Dean laughed quietly, it was enchanting. "I'm in a band."
Cas closed his eyes and Dean laughed again. "Oh, of course. Sorry, that was stupid."
Dean shook his head, still smiling, the sides of his eyes crinkled with laugh lines. "No, it's okay, it's nice to speak to someone who doesn't just freak out because...well, you know."
"Yeah," Cas nodded, "it must get annoying."
It suddenly occurred to him why they had "randomly" come to Wisconsin.
The pair finished up their drinks and Cas was acutely aware that Dean had not taken his eyes off of him once. He suddenly wished he was going home with Dean instead of Balthazar. Wait, what?
"I'm meeting someone here." Cas said after a moment, just to try and prove to himself he hadn't just had that thought.
Dean nodded, taking it as his cue to leave, Cas seemed flustered though, so he couldn't have had no effect, God he was cute.
"Well, I hope everything works out for you, Castiel." Dean said sincerely before smiling and getting up.
As he walked away, Dean thought that Cas must have been gay, working for a LGBT centre, not to mention the way he'd acted around him. He wished he could have...he didn't really know, he wished he could have done something. But he couldn't, he couldn't do that to the band. He felt his heart sink.
Cas dipped his head and tried to clear his mind, he felt immediately guilty for what he'd thought about Balthazar but he hadn't wanted Dean to leave, he didn't know what he wanted. But he had thought that about Balthazar, and he couldn't help but know that Bal had never shown any interest in the centre and he'd never really shown any interest in him. Then this random famous guy turns up and makes him feel the most special he'd felt in ages.
Cas blushed and wished Bal would come back soon, hoping beyond hope that they could just go home and Cas could go back to reality where he belonged.