Chapter 13: Torn
Renesmee's POV
Just laying in a hospital bed has given me plenty of time to think about this new situation that I've found myself in. I feel torn between Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullens and my family. I don't even know who I am anymore. Where do I belong? Do I belong with the the Cullens, who are my real family? Or do I belong with the parents that raised me along with my sister, as well as my cousins, grandparents and my aunt? The truth is that I don't think that any of them are more 'real' then the other. They all love me just the same. If I picked one family I would be betraying the other.
It feels like I'm not only choosing between two families, but also two different worlds or two different halfs of who I am. If I choose the Cullens then I lose the life I knew and instead I join the supernatural. If I choose my human life, then life goes back to normal for me. Who am I kidding? No matter what I choose my life will never be the same again.
So where do my loyalties lie? Is it with the Cullens or my human family? I feel like my loyalties are with both families. I can't choose one without feeling like I'm hurting or betraying the other.
While I was thinking about all of this a certain song came on the radio that made me think.
Put your faith in what you most believe in
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart, let fate decide
To guide these lives we see
A paradise untouched by man
Within this world blessed with love
A simple life, they live in peace
Softly tread the sand below your feet now
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart, let fate decide
To guide these lives we see
Beneath the shelter of the trees
Only love can enter here
A simple life, they live in peace
Raise your head up, lift high the load
Take strength from those that need you
Build high the walls, build strong the beams
A new life is waiting but danger's no stranger here
No words describe a mother's tears
No words can heal a broken heart
A dream is gone but where there's hope
Somewhere, something is calling for you
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart, let fate decide
To guide these lives we see
Is it just a coincidence that this song came on just right now? I wasn't sure about that. One thing I do now is that it described exactly how I felt. No words can describe a mother's tears, and whatever I chose would indeed cause one of my mother's tears. A new life was waiting, no matter what I chose. Two worlds one family? Is that even possible in my situation? I don't know, I think I will just have to trust my heart and late fate decide to guide our lives.
"Renesmee, are you okay?" asked Leah when she came to visit me. "I'm okay. Just doing a lot of thinking" I said. "About what?" she asked. "I just feel so torn between my human family and my vampire family. I don't know what to do" I said. She hugged me before saying "Just follow your heart and everything will fall into place" "Thanks Leah. I think someone is trying to tell me that" I said.
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A/N: I was listening to the Phil Collins song Two Worlds which me inspired me to write this chapter.