Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home.
-Evanescence, 'Bring me to Life'
Kaya was tired of waiting for her mother to come back. It had been far too long in her young opinion. She knew her father was worried more than he should be by the way he gripped her hand as she led him through the halls to her mother's bed.
The healers were flocked around her when they entered, murmuring in soft tones as they dripped honey and herbs down her mother's throat. Kaya knew they were puzzled as to why she wasn't wasting away in her bed. At the Fire Lord's approach they bowed and backed away, granting them access. Kaya hopped up on the bed, ignoring their hushed reprimands to not disturb her.
"Please go away now." She ordered firmly. They looked down at her strangely before turning to her father for confirmation. He nodded solemnly, his eyes on Kaya. They took their leave with a rustle of robes, shutting the thick wooden door behind them.
"Kaya…"
"Give me your hand and sit beside me." Kaya instructed, holding her hand out.
Zuko raised an eyebrow about being told what to do by a child, Avatar and his adopted daughter or not. He stripped out his outer robes and sat across from her in the simple pants and long belted tunic he had worn for the last seven years. Kaya nodded approvingly and took his hand in hers, grasping his fingers tightly.
"Take her other hand." She told him as she picked up her mother's loose hand. Zuko did as instructed. "Ready?"
"For what?" Zuko yelped as Kaya's eyes glowed blue and it felt like he was being consumed by electricity as he stared into them. The strangest sense of being pulled descended on his body and with an ethereal 'pop' he was free, floating in the air above his body. "What?!"
"Just hold on." The woman in front of him was not his daughter, but the young woman he had seen defeat his father. He looked down to see himself as the sixteen year old banished Prince from seven years ago, his red clothes trimmed in gold and black, pants tucked into his pointed boots, his hair falling in his eyes. He shouted wordlessly in shock. "This is how you still think of yourself." The Avatar said. "Do not let go or you will fall."
Zuko nodded mutely as they began to float up and away, leaving their bodies and Katara and the room behind. He watched the world around them blur as they picked up speed but he felt nothing more than a light breeze ruffle through his hair. They sped towards a circular door and crashed through it, emerging into a world that Zuko could only describe as being…brown. Brown trees grew from brown water, covered with brown vines that spouted brown leaves. The sky was even a golden brown, lit from a sun hanging obscured behind the horizon. Brown rocks erupted from the water to serve as a sort of stepping stone path from the rise where they stood to the other side of the…pond? Lake? He couldn't tell. The brown forest seemed to stretch onwards in all directions, becoming dark and dense the farther he looked. It echoed with bird calls and the callings of unknown creatures.
Kaya, her eyes still glowing faintly, handed him a mask. "Put this on."
He looked down on it, startled to see a nearly perfect replica of his first Blue Spirit mask, only it was colored gold-trimmed red and was split in half. The half that was missing obscured anything behind it, making it look as if his hand was missing.
"What-?"
"Please." Kaya slipped on her own mask, the one painted with the colors of the world. "And whatever you do, do not let it out of your grasp."
Zuko nodded and obliged, feeling like he'd look like he'd have half a face. He caught his reflection in the water and noticed that he did; half of his face appeared as the red spirit mask, the other…didn't exist.
"Come." Kaya pulled his hand again, and he watched as she began to shrink until she was his Kaya again. She led him across the water and into the forest, ducking around vines and climbing up hills. Coming to a log perched across two stones that served as a bridge across a wide river, he picked her up and perched her on his shoulders, her now-small hands gripping his hair for balance.
Zuko felt relieved that they hadn't come across any of the things that were making noise in the distance. He saw large, shadowy forms cross in front and beside them in the trees, but none bothered them. His feet made no noise on the brown, dry grass beneath them, and a peaceful warm wind blew around him.
Finally, up ahead loomed an enormous tree, it's above ground roots taller than Kaya from where she sat on Zuko's head. He was trying to think of how they'd get around when the root directly in front of them shuddered and gave a great groaning noise as it pulled itself up enough to allow them to crawl under. They looked at each other and Zuko set Kaya down and they crawled on their hands and knees through the created tunnel, hearing human voices on the other side.
Kaya crawled faster, emerging before Zuko. He had just gotten his foot through when the root crashed back down, shaking the ground beneath him. He shot a glare over his shoulder at it before standing, brushing himself off.
"You really shouldn't glare at it." A familiar voice said and he looked up. "It was kind enough to let you through."
"Avatar?" he gasped, incredulous.
"Aang, actually." The boy in front of him gave a small smile. He looked exactly how Zuko remembered him: big stupid arrow on his head, large grey eyes, orange and yellow clothing. His glider was beside him on the ground, folded up. "The current Avatar is over there." He nodded to where Kaya was embracing a girl clad in blue, a half-mask like his beside her, only hers was blue. An elderly woman sat on one side of her while a younger woman, also in blue, sat on her other side.
"Katara." He breathed.
She looked up, and he saw that she was as young as he was. She was the girl he had chased across the world so many years ago, her hair loopies and braid back in place, her fur-trimmed water tribe clothing patched and frayed like it had been. The girl she had been before his father, he realized, guilt and hurt striking him deep in his core. Her blue eyes lit up when she saw him and she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck, one hand clasping her half-mask. He saw it was a deep blue trimmed in silver, and matched his.
"You look so young." She said, her head pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.
"You're not one to talk." He murmured. She felt so real. "How could you tell it was me?" He still wore his mask.
"I always know when it's you, silly." She let him go and led him over to where Kaya sat chattering at the older woman. "Gran gran, mom, this is Zuko."
They both rose, warm smiles on their faces, but they did not speak. Just regarded him with blue eyes so similar to hers.
He bowed low from the waist, his hands forming the honorable gesture of deep respect. "It is my honor to meet you."
They returned his bow, their eyes crinkling up as they smiled at him.
"Mom." Kaya's small voice was hesitant, sad. "It's time to go home."
Katara's face turned anxious. "Kaya…I…I'm not sure."
"Please." Kaya pleaded, embracing her mother around the waist. "I need you."
"You have Zuko." Katara said, petting her hair and regarding her half mask reluctantly. "I'm not ready…"
"Katara." Zuko stepped forward and she looked at him so heartbrokenly that he felt his own ache in response. "Please."
"Katara," A new voice broke in, turning their heads to face Aang. "It's not your time yet. You have so much life ahead of you, so many new adventures." He laid a hand on her shoulder, looking at her firmly. "Don't give up just because you think you're happy here. You can have an eternity with them, when your time comes."
"How can you ask me to leave them?" Katara cried, gesturing at her mother and grandmother, tightening her grasp on Kaya. "I didn't even know Gran Gran had died until I got here! To go back to that world of pain and evil and hate…"
"It's over, Katara." Zuko murmured, stepping closer to her. "Please, the war is over. Come home. This is not where you belong."
"Where do I belong Zuko?" She cried, tears beginning to leak down her cheeks. The spirits of her mother and grandmother came forward to lay a hand on her shoulders, their faces mournful.
"With me!" He cried, leaning his forehead against hers. "With Sokka and Suki and Toph and my Uncle. With us!" He touched Kaya on the head and she added her nod to his words. "There's so much left to do…we won the world Katara, but now we have to fix it." He clasped her head in his hands, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I can't do it without you." He whispered.
Still seeing that she was caught between the two worlds, he removed his mask on impulse. He lifted her hand that held her own mask and fitted the two together, red matching blue, gold matching silver. She sobbed, seeing the perfect fit.
"We belong together." He murmured. He tried to pull them apart, and felt resistance. With an insistent tug he separated them, but it came back whole, his mask fading into a deep purple, silver and gold swirled together on the trim. Katara's was the same, identical to his down to the intricate scrolling along the edges. They stared at them as the spirits around them gave their approving nods. "Please, don't leave me alone."
Katara looked at him; he could see her decision written on her face, and then he was flying backwards; shoved by an invisible force. He shouted but it was lost among the roaring in his ears as he felt himself tumble over and over until he landed in his own body, falling backwards off the bed to the stone floor below. He sat up, cursing and rubbing the shoulder he had landed on, relieved to find himself in his adult body. He heard a squeak from the other side of the bed and leaped up to catch Kaya's arm before she tumbled backwards. She grinned up at him and looked to where Katara still slept.
Still slept. She had decided to stay. Zuko sat hard on the bed, disbelief coursing through him. She had left him behind to stay in the spirit world. He turned away, eyes downcast with grief. Kaya likewise looked distraught and shook her mother's shoulder. Zuko pulled her into his lap and hugged her, trying to comfort her as she began to weep.
A low groan came from the head of the bed and he turned. Katara was sitting up, pressing a hand to her forehead and blinking. "Zuko?"
He and Kaya both launched themselves at her, knocking her back down. She laughed and it was music to his ears. "Katara." He murmured, running his fingers across her cheek, over her brow, against her silky eyelashes. "You came back to me." Kaya cleared her throat. "To us." He amended gently.
"You went to the spirit world for me." She whispered into his inky hair. "You must really like me or something."
Zuko grunted and grabbed the back of her head, drawing her up to him in a fierce kiss, reassuring himself that she was real, alive, his. "Or something."
***Line break***Line break***Line break***
The healers had warned that she would be weak for a time, but Katara was never one to listen to other people when it came to herself. She had insisted on walking herself to the dining hall, brushing aside all those who tried to help her. Zuko was not one of them. He had learned his lesson when he had tried to help her out of bed and she had punched him in the nose for his trouble. He walked serenely beside her as she limped and staggered her way down the hallway, clutching at the wall briefly at some points. One eye was trained on her as he tried to look nonchalant, but he was wincing inwardly at every trip or stumble. She cursed quietly to herself, but by the time they reached the table she was composed and walking well enough to convince everyone but Toph.
"Doing alright there, Sugar Queen?" Toph asked, a mocking edge to her voice. "Need a little more firewhiskey?"
"I'd like to see you lie in bed for two weeks and not have problems!" Katara snapped back, levering herself into a chair.
Toph chuckled to herself. Min Ki, seated beside her, shook his head affectionately.
"What?" Toph barked at him. He just shook his head again and turned to his other side to engage Chi Lin in conversation.
Chi Lin had been very annoyed to find Kaya and Zuko gone when he awoke in the courtyard, but Zuko secretly thought he was angrier that the turtleducks had carried off both of his shoes and he had yet to find them. He was once again glued to Kaya's side, escorting her everywhere she went.
Katara smiled as the stiffness ebbed around her; her friends returning to their normal selves now that they were assured she was alright. Zuko sat at the head of his table, Katara to his left and Chi Lin to his right. His Uncle took the other end of the table, flanked by Sokka and Suki. They all still wore bandages from the final battle, sported new scars, fading bruises lining their eyes. Her face fell for a moment, remembering how many they had lost.
When the food began to appear, Sokka stared as, for the first time in his life, his sister ate more than him at the dinner table.
***Line break***Line break***Line break***
He was sitting up against the headboard, stroking her damp hair away from her face, his face peaceful. She lay with her head in his lap above the covers, closing her eyes against his gentle ministrations. Sex with him had felt different; a little more uncomfortable than the usual bliss. But it had ended the same, with her calling his name as she came while she rode him, his face upturned to hers as he reached his own climax. She had tumbled down to lay beside him, her breath coming in quick pants.
"What do we do now?" She murmured, running her finger in small circles against his covered knee.
He stilled. It was the question on all of their minds. It had gone unspoken among them, though he supposed their friends talked about it to each other. He had been waiting for Katara to wake up, trying to put his country back together again, directing his soldiers, doing his best to keep the peace.
But they were restless and far from home. After what seemed like a lifetime of war, and for them it had been, they were lost, unsure of what the next mission was, the next enemy, the next threat.
"We could go to sleep." He replied, his voice low as he trailed his fingers gently down her naked back, skimming along her spine.
She punched him in the thigh and he winced. "That's not what I meant."
"I know." His voice was raspy. He wriggled down until he lay on his back beside her, one arm going under her head to pull her onto his chest. She winced as he pushed against her still-tender healing scar. It was a wide red mark on her breastbone, branching out to cross her shoulder in spiderweb-like fingers. He had been told it was common for those struck by lightning to have such scars but they unnerved him. His father and now his sister had both marked her skin, marks that would never fade. "But I don't have an answer for you."
She nodded, bending her arm to cup his cheek as she spread her knee across his legs. "What do you and I do now?"
He kissed the top of her head. "We could get married. I could adopt Kaya. You could stay." His voice sounded almost wistful, as if it were a dream so far out of his reach he could only hope to glimpse it.
Katara nodded, hiding her frown from him. "Would they allow that?"
Zuko shrugged, holding her tighter. 'They' were his council of Fire Nation nobles and generals who had sworn allegiance to him after the war ended. He had removed all the councilors loyal to his father and ousted the bloodthirsty generals who had conducted his fathers' genocide missions. They were to stand trial for war crimes in the coming year. For now they rotted in prison alongside their former Fire Lord. "Does it matter?"
"I don't want to be the cause of another war." Katara whispered, petting his ear with her hand.
"It wouldn't come to that." Zuko said. "I could always abdicate to my Uncle. He was supposed to be the Fire Lord, not my father."
"You've spent your whole life pursuing this." Katara exclaimed, rising up on her elbow, giving him a wry smile. "You want to give it away already?"
He frowned at her. "It's not giving it away. Uncle is well known and respected. He's experienced. They would trust him to rebuild the country. And in ten years or whenever he was ready, I would ascend the throne as his rightful heir."
Katara shrugged, sinking back down. "It's your throne, Zuko. I trust you to do what's right."
***Line break***Line break***Line break***
"The day after tomorrow." Toph said decisively, Min Ki nodded beside her.
The group, 'Team Zuko' according to Sokka, was seated around the table for breakfast. Talk had turned, now that Katara was back with them, to future plans.
"That's really soon, Toph." Katara said, surprised.
The blind girl shrugged. "It's great here, really, but I miss my home." She laid her chin on her fist. "Actually, I miss moving. I don't really know where I call home except the road."
"Sokka and I feel the same way." Suki added, grimacing at the meal in front of her. Her stomach had been delicate for the past couple weeks, rejecting most meats and spices. "We can't decide if we should return to Kyoshi or the South Pole first. So we're just going to travel for awhile."
"I thought you were going to stay with for the warriors, Suki." Katara said, confused.
She shook her head. "They have a new leader now." She smirked ruefully. "I have been gone for almost eight years…" She sighed. "After being in that cell…I don't want to stay cooped up for too long. I'm almost claustrophobic."
"I understand." Katara murmured. Zuko had ordered Ozai's old chambers stripped and refurbished, but she still felt uneasy living under the roof where he had tortured her. The palace had too many painful reminders for her. "What about you, Chi Lin?"
"I will stay with the Avatar." He replied, his whispery voice making it sound like it was the obvious answer. They waited for him to elaborate but he didn't, and returned to slurping his hot klah.
"Erm…" Sokka began to break the silence. "Toph, do you guys want company?"
She opened her mouth to answer but Iroh interrupted her.
"I think we are overlooking an important matter." He said, his deep voice serious. They faced him, questioning looks on their faces. From the head of the table, he was thrown back in time to the only moment he could remember them all being together before the comet: when Azula had attacked him with lightning. They had all rushed to his defense, and as he lay on the ground, he could make out their concerned faces all turned to him, just as they were now. He smiled to himself. "The training of the Avatar."
They all leaned back in their seats. What to do with Kaya. She sat beside her mother, her face propped up by her two fists as she struggled to stay awake, her jaw hanging slack. She was half asleep.
"We could have instructors brought to the Palace." Zuko contemplated, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It was undignified for a Fire Lord to leave his hair down, but he felt strange doing it among his friends. "The best in the world."
"The best in the world sit around this table, my nephew." Iroh intoned, meeting the eyes of Toph, Katara, and Zuko. "And they are about to return to their homes."
Conversation and opinions broke out. Zuko was all for putting them up in the Palace, but they argued back that there was a world to fix, and most of the damage lay outside of the Fire Nation. Katara sat silent in the midst of the argument, her eyes on her daughter beside her. Thinking.
"She needs to see the world she's a part of!" Sokka argued. The rest had died down, having no more points to make. Min Ki was murmuring softly in Toph's ear, trying to calm her with Iroh looked on with a concerned face.
"She also needs her mother." Zuko replied, glancing at Katara out of the corner of his eye. "And she'll be here."
"Zuko…" All eyes turned at her quiet word, seeing her downcast eyes and guilty posture. She looked at him, tears threatening to spill over. "…I can't stay."
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A.N.: Hope you guys still don't hate me! The scars I was talking about for Katara are called Lichtenburg scars and look really interesting.
Only two chapters left! I can't decide if I'm going to be really evil or not…two options for the end and I like both :/ Murr.
Thank you all for your reviews and favorites and follows! You guys rock.