A/N ~ Hello! Sorry for not posting much again, been real busy lately XD Don't worry guys, I haven't given up on No Love Is Greater, but I am working on a completely different story (One Piece of course what did you expect XD) that I'm not gonna post until it's all done. Still working on NLIG tho XD
This is only a short one, a request made by a friend off tumblr. And yes, it's another sad one I'M SORRY XD DX Y'ALL JUST LOVE TO HURT THESE POOR KIDS DON'T CHA?!
I OWN NOTHING!
Enjoy!
I've Got You
It'd been weeks since Splinter died. Weeks since they'd buried him at the farmhouse. Weeks since they'd watched as he fell from the top of a building, impaled by Shredder's blades…
Leonardo still saw him sometimes, in his dreams and in the dojo, and he wondered if it was healthy. During their time in space, he'd talked to the holograms of his father to bring him comfort during their days lost in the cosmos; that, he knew, hadn't been healthy. Donnie had been the one to point that out to him that day. But this was different.
The first time, Splinter had explained that he'd entered another plane of existence or something, allowing him to appear as a vision to Leo, and that made sense he supposed; they'd seen weirder things, they'd been to weirder places, and better still they'd seen the spirit realm for themselves.
Still, some days, Leo was sure he was going crazy.
He wasn't the only one suffering from Splinter's death, of course. But they all had their ways of coping; Mikey visited Raph's room more often during the nights, April and Donnie sometimes stayed in the lab working on projects for hours, Casey actually sat in the dojo under the tree, playing it off that he was just polishing his hockey stick, and Karai dropped by every now and then, never said anything, just dropped her stuff in a corner and sat in the pit with the rest of them; if she bumped shoulders with any of them or even lay her head against someone's shoulder, no one said anything.
They all coped in their own ways…and Leo, well…he just put his grief on a shelf and left it there. He was the leader, after all, the sensei of the clan. He had to be there for them, just like Splinter had been there for him, for all of them. He had to be strong now, stronger than ever before, because there was no way to go back and undo any of this, not this time…
So for a little while he'd been fine. He'd been fine.
Then he'd decided to clear out Splinter's old room.
There were things in there that they'd wanted to preserve, to put in a box and keep safe in his memory instead of burying with him. Leo had taken it upon himself to do just that, knowing that it was his responsibility as the new sensei to ensure the safety of their father's belongings was taken care of, but he was stopped by Donatello on his way in with the cardboard boxes. His hand on his shoulder was strong and grounding, a comforting gesture –
"Are you sure about this, Leo?"
– and yet his words nearly broke through every wall he'd built since they'd lost him.
Leo swallowed thickly, brushed aside the sudden urge to cry and shout, and he smiled. "Yeah, Donnie. I've got this."
He certainly sounded confident. Better than what he felt inside. Donnie wasn't fooled, of course he wasn't, but he nodded and let Leo go all the same.
So Leo entered Splinter's old room, sliding the door open with his foot and stepping into the darkened space. He set the boxes down and started collecting all the small items first, like trinkets and toys he and his brothers had given him as gifts over the years, the silly drawings and hand paintings from when they were six, the first car Donnie had fixed –
Don't break.
He stored those away and then moved onto the larger objects, his old futon and the scrolls in his drawers that were passed down from Splinter's master and his master before him; he handled those with the utmost care and respect. He paused when he came across the scroll with the mantra that had saved them all that one time, the one that healed them after Karai had poisoned them. He still knew the mantra by heart, he remembered sitting with Splinter and revising it –
Don't break.
Leo shook his head, rolling the scroll back up and carefully storing it in the box with the others. He drew a shuddering breath, closed his eyes, bowed his head, bit his lip…
I'm fine. I'll be fine. Death is a natural part of life. We knew he'd never live forever, no matter what we did. Everyone dies eventually. Everyone dies.
Leo opened his eyes again, sure that he wasn't going to break, now of all times, and he sighed as he stood up and moved over to the closet. Splinter had more than one set of robes, which came in handy when raising four boys and fighting. He took each one and began folding neatly, placing them on the floor to put away for later –
He stopped again when he reached a particular robe.
This one was covered in painted hand-prints, tiny, three-fingered ones and one big four-fingered one in the center of the back. Slowly, Leo reached out and picked it up, holding it out.
This was from when we were five. We'd gotten paint all over us and basically attacked Splinter until he fell over. We were all laughing. He tried to wash it but the paint never came off. He just kept it instead.
Leo smiled, bringing the robe close and hugging it, cheek rubbing against the woolen material. He remembered that day as if it were yesterday. He closed his eyes, and he could hear their laughter echoing in the pit during that hot, summer evening. He could see Mikey running around covered in paint, Donnie in the middle of a death match with Raph with a fat paintbrush, and then Leo was running to Splinter, tackling him in a hug despite the paint bathing his arms blue, and then Splinter was grinning down at him, whiskers twitching –
He took a deep breath. His eyes snapped open and his smile vanished.
It still smells like him.
Tears immediately brimmed in his eyes, and soon they were spilling down his cheeks like a waterfall, dampening the old robe. He grit his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut, fighting and fighting and fighting –
Don't break. Don't break. Don't. Break…
Burying his face into his father's robe, Leo sank to the floor and sobbed.
I can't. I can't do it. I can't –
"Damn," he cursed into the robe through the torrent of tears, grasping at it desperately. "Damn, damn, damn!"
Rapid footsteps pounded outside the room, coming closer and closer, and suddenly there were arms around him; two olive-green, lanky yet impossibly strong arms, folding around his quivering shoulders and tugging him close to a solid plastron. Donnie tucked Leo close, crushing him in his embrace, and helpless as he was Leo could only burrow deeper into his younger brother's arms. He couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop shaking, couldn't let go of the robe, couldn't pull himself together, couldn't do anything –
"I've got you, Leo," Donnie whispered, shutting up the voices in Leo's head and reeling him back into reality. "I've got you, alright? I'm right here and I'm not letting go, you hear me?"
Leo found just enough strength to unclench one hand from their father's robe and wrap his arm around Donnie's waist, his shoulders still heaving and the tears still falling and he was so freaking sorry he couldn't be strong enough again –
"You're not invincible, Leo. None of us are. You can't be strong all the time, not even Splinter could do it. You're allowed to cry, just like the rest of us." Donnie held him tighter, rocking them slightly, and Leo was positive the other turtle was crying too, when something warm and wet landed like raindrops on his shoulder and carapace. "It's okay, Leo. It's okay. I've got you."
Donnie was right. Donnie was almost always right. And Leo trusted his brothers' judgment, trusted his words, trusted that wouldn't let him go until he was ready…
So the brothers sat there on the floor of Splinter's old room, holding each other close and the robe they showered with paint and love as they cried. And if another pair of arms encircled them, followed by another and another, they said nothing. Nothing had to be said.
I've got you.
A/N ~ Like I said, sad. Damn DX
More are on the way! Thanks for reading!