Two days later we set out from Trost (the people had made an underground path). 'Let the 57th expedition outside the wall begin!' There was none of that hope. Now we just left without causing a commotion. Hange and a few choice officials joined in. Hange wanted to be the first to see what Dr. Jeager hid from all of us.
I rode off in the front. We were in a simple column, the 20 or so of us. Somehow, even the four officials made the trek unbearable. Luckily, the Titans seemed quiet.
Wait? A person? Outside of wall rose? Who is it? I rode faster.
The figure seemed to wave. I halted by her. Petra? Petra's dead, retard.
"Captain Levi!"
"Who are you?"
"It's me! Petra!" No, it can't be.
"Prove it!" She looked aghast.
"Why?! Don't you recognise me?" I do. That's the weird part.
"What did I tell Eren when we were being chased by the Female Titan?" Let's see who this really is.
"That all that's left for us to do is believe we made the choice we don't regret." What the fuck? This should be Petra. I should get Hange.
The officials caught up. "Who is that, Levi?" It was Hange.
"Petra."
"Let me see."
She dismounted and looked at Petra. Petra seemed confused. "I'll explain later." That should help.
"How are you sure, Levi?"
"She told that which only a member of my squad would know." Hange would understand.
"Well, then… Petra. What is the last thing you remember?"
She thought. "I remember a jolt on my back. Then, I was moving quickly into a tree." Her death was painless. Yet here she was telling us that. "Then I woke up near a bunch of titan-vomit and heard the horses coming."
Hange was looking at me, confused. "Well, she died up against a tree."
"I died? But I'm here." The confusion was difficult for everybody.
"Ok… Well… Levi, you take care of her for the duration of this mission. You knew Petra - see if this really is her. Also, make sure she does not get to see anything restricted." Damn it; mission before desire again.
"Ok Hange."
"We don't have an extra mount…"
"She'll ride with me." If this really was Petra, I'd have loved this prospect.
"Alright… Everybody! Saddle up!" The entire group caught up.
"Now can you please explain?" We were mounted. I went ahead again.
"You were dead. We didn't even have your body by the end."
"That's why you're suspicious. How long was I out?" 'Out.' Damn it! You were dead. Not unconscious or in a coma, fucking dead! "Like four months."
She was behind me on the horse. She held on to me firmly - there was no special tightness. Because of how our heights worked, her face was next to mine, in the corner between my neck and my shoulder. "Wow, so this is how riding out in the front looks." She'd never ridden out in the front. I was always in the front.
"Yeah." Don't trust her yet. It's so hard! Isn't this a miracle?
"The rest of the ride was silent. We reached Shinshiga by dusk. The desolation was saddening. Petra was evidently sad. She sniffed and commented on the lives which must have been ruined.
"The more you think about it, the harder it gets." I probably said that more for myself.
The group found a cellar which the Titans could not get to. I found a room to lock Petra up in after dinner. Hange came to me.
"So that's Petra?!"
"Maybe."
"Oh… yeah… maybe. But at least that's how she looked, right?"
"Yeah."
"How about the way she acts?"
"The more I look at her, the more she is Petra." This whole 'old Petra' vs. 'new Petra' is sad. What if there is no difference? How would I know?
"Keep unbiased." No shit. That what makes this hard. If it were anybody else, this would be easier. But no, it has to be the girl I loved (love? - this old vs. new shit!).
The next morning, I woke up and saw Petra still there. I wasn't dreaming, Hange saw her, so I wasn't insane, she hasn't escaped so she's not that bad… yet.
"Good morning Captain Levi." That still made my heart soar.
"Good morning Petra, how are you?" Have I ever done that before?
"I'm fine. Can I make tea?" What? Damn! Yet I have to doubt her.
"Sure." I led her to the makeshift kitchen me make in the cellar.
The tea was exactly the same as before. Just let today pass, in Trost we can prove that she really is Petra. She asked for a book, but I couldn't humor her. She seemed bored. Maybe it's why she was so keen on the tea.
The rest of the squad woke up. Hange took Mikasa and a few select soldiers to check the basement out. They returned in under twenty minutes and we left.
My thoughts were this endless cycle of she is Petra, she is not. I am sure, I am biased. Can't we all just appreciate the miracle? Whoever she is, she survived outside the wall for a while. I think I let a tear slip. It was all I could to to avoid crying out in frustration.
"What happened, Captain?" She noticed. She handed me a handkerchief.
Wiping the tear off, I took a deep breath. "I just wish I could trust you. The squad's not the same anymore - I wish we had it back. And now that some of it has come back, I can't trust it."
She took the handkerchief. "All the others are dead, aren't they?" I didn't respond, but she understood.
We entered Trost. Fortunately, the corps still had a sample of Petra's blood. They compared it. Physically, there was no old vs. new. It all came down to her allegiance officially, and her personality personally.
I walked into Hange's office. Petra was outside."How do we prove that she's still on our side?"
"I don't know."
"I have an idea." Of course you do. "I'll give her Eren's key."
"Ok…" A bit trusting…
"If she keeps it for the next two days, I'll trust her and she may join your squad."