Disclaimer: Disclaimer Naruto Belongs to Kishimoto and I will not continue this fic
Author's Notes: Look at the disclaimer. I wrote this to get it OUT of my mind, that's it, nothing more. It's basically through a series of insane events… yeah, just pure crack that I couldn't come up with a viable reason to actually write.
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"Oh, are we late?" Kakashi Hakate blinked slightly as he stood next to Sasuke and slowly looked around the now glaring crowd with a tilting cant of his head.
"Mhm." Genma Shiranui agreed as he shifted his senbon around in his mouth. "Just a…"
Whatever else might've been said was cut off as suddenly the air in front of them was violently rent asunder. The very fabric of reality seemed to scream out in angry defiance against this violation as a wave of… something washed out across the stadium. For a moment, the wind seemed to howl, angrily, before just as suddenly it stopped.
Standing there, in the middle of the field, next to the jounin and genin, stood five figures. Five figures decked out in the formal robes of a Kage. Five figures, each wearing the hat of one of the five major hidden villages.
"… Hokage-san, I would like to, respectfully, point out, you screwed up." The calm voice of the man wearing the Raikage's robes noted with a note of almost amusement. "It would seem we arrived a bit… Late."
"Well, Raikage-san, considering who his jounin-sensei was, that's not too terribly surprising." The man in the Mizukage's robes noted with a rough chuckle.
"I would like to remind the two knuckle heads that I can still take them any day of the week." The man in the Hokage robes grunted sourly as he lightly glared over at the pair.
"Now, now…" The hulking figure in the Tsuichikage's robes spoke up quickly. "There's no need to get all worked up, we're all friends here, right?"
"Tsuichikage-san…" The Kazekage robed figure cut in, in a bland monotone. "Please do recall, it is Hokage-san and Mizukage-san."
"… Point, Kaze-kage-san." The Tsuichikage admitted.
"And I would like to remind the other two knuckle heads I can kick their asses too." The Hokage muttered audibly as he shifted his glare onto the other two kages.
"Um… excuse me." Genma coughed softly as he glanced at the five figures. "But… what the fuck?"
"Indeed." There was a new voice speaking, as Hiruzen Sarutobi, Konoha's Third Hokage appeared, glaring dangerously at the five figures hands clasped behind his back. "As this is most assuredly not amusing."
"I don't know, I find it to be." The other figure in the Hokage's robes shot back with visible amusement in his voice. "What about you gentlemen?"
"Yup."
"Indeed."
"I have to say I concur."
"What they said."
"I don't." Another new voice spoke up, a hint of anger in it as the masked figure of the Fourth Kazekage spoke up.
"Well, you don't count." The other Kazekage cut in as he waved his hand dismissively. "You're just a snake bastard pretending to be a Kage."
"Pretending to be a Kage?" The figure of the Fourth Kazekage repeated incredulously.
"Aw, Kazekage-san, did you have to go and ruin the suspense?" The Hokage figure almost visibly pouted. "I mean, I wanted to embarrass them a bit before I unmasked Orochimaru."
"Orochimaru?" Sarutobi cut in as he stared from the figure next to him to the other five.
"Sorry." The complete lack of sincerity in the Kazekage's voice made the Hokage glare back at him.
"No you're not."
"Yes, I am. I'm completely and utterly repentant."
"I believe him." The Mizukage cut in, the smirk audible in his voice.
"He's convinced me." The Raikage agreed with a nod of his head.
"Um… I'm just gonna, ya know, abstain." The Tsuichikage spoke up tentatively as he glanced between the others.
"Majority vote wins." The Kazekage cut in with a note of smug finality.
"Jerks." The Hokage muttered softly.
"Orochimaru?" Sarutobi repeated as he cut back into the conversation.
"You know, crazy, pedophiliac mad scientist ex-student of yours?" The Hokage offered up blandly.
"Who are you people?" The Fourth Kazekage cut in, glaring at the five.
"Oh, I forgot the introductions, didn't I?" The Hokage figure spoke up with a bowing of his head before pushing back his hat to reveal sunny blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. "Sorry, sorry. Naruto Uzumaki, the Sixth Hokage."
"Gaara of the Desert." The Kazekage figure spoke up as he pushed back his own hat. "Fifth Kazekage."
"Neji Hyuuga." There was an audible blink as the figure of the Raikage pushed his own hat back. "Fifth Raikage."
Ignoring the dropped jaws that revelation brought about, the hulking figure spoke up as he pushed back his own hat. "Chouji Akimichi, Fourth Tsuichikage."
"Kiba Inuzuka, Um Sixth I think, Mizukage." The last figure offered up as he pushed back his own hat before blinking at Naruto. "It was Sixth, wasn't it?"
"You're asking me?" Naruto offered back, staring at the man incredulously.
"Well I thought you might know." Kiba shrugged his shoulders before rubbing his chin a bit. "So, who called snake face again?"
"I did." Gaara spoke up as suddenly sand had sprouted up around the stunned figure of the fourth Kazekage. "Desert…"