Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto
Author's Notes: Because I actually really do like Neji, despite what I did to him in BS. No, this won't be continued. It's just something I wrote for schnitz and giggles.
-o-o-o-
There was a dull pulsing stab echoing behind his eyes as Neji Hyuuga slowly returned to the world of the living in a crash of throbbing pain when he opened his pearly white eyes. Instantly screwing them shut once more, he let out a low groan, hissing groan of pain as he let himself settle back into the bed. As vague recollections of the night before assaulted his mind he was, above all else, brought to face a singular, and all together frustrating image.
Naruto Uzumaki, in all his smiling, undeniable glory, pushing bottles of sake into his hand as he told him to relax. Relaxing around Kumo Nin. Right. Like that was going to happen.
But, the boy just wouldn't listen to him. There had been some vague murmurings about an Uchiha being responsible for killing his parents, but you didn't seeing him hating the whole clan just because one of them was an asshole. Then there was something added about even if the whole clan were assholes too.
Why couldn't that damned bastard let him at least enjoy some of his righteously earned anger! Did he have to beat every single last bit of it out of him? There was a pause again, as Neji mentally reviewed those words. He was Naruto, of course he did.
Grumbling softly, he shifted just a bit, before frowning slightly as he risked cracking an eye open once more. Wait. This didn't look like his hotel room.
"Mmm, dammit it's too early to get up, come back to bed."
Neji froze stock still as he heard the voice, even as he felt the smooth, silky flesh of an arm wrapping about his waist, even as a well calloused, feminine hand, pulled him back down into the bed.
Very, very slowly he turned his head, and stared at the blonde haired young woman whose arm was wrapped about his waist. A blonde haired, naked young woman who's arm was wrapped about his equally naked waist. Quicker than he thought possible turned his head away to the other side of the bed, only to feel his eyes widening in shock.
There was another young woman in it, one with fiery red hair, and chocolate hued skin, with her back turned to him for the moment. With the same kind of exquisite stretch of time experienced when one watches a fire technique blasting towards its helpless target the realization was made. Cream skinned blonde, chocolate skinned red head. Kumo.
He was in bed with a pair of Cloud kunoichi! He was naked in bed with a pair of Cloud kunoichi! He was… He paused, eyes widening even more as he suddenly felt that hand slip down past his waist to grab hold of something that most definitely didn't react well to rough treatment.
" Erk."
"Mmm, well now…" The voice was a low, throat purr as it left the woman's lips, even as he could feel the way she was pressing more closely up against him. "Seems like someone's ready for the next round… If we're careful, we might not even wake up Karui…"
"…" Neji was torn, viciously between two warring thoughts. On one hand, a very, very attractive girl was doing very, very enjoyable things to his 'little' friend. On the other, she was a member of the one village he actually despised.
"My, suddenly shy all over again?" She purred out as she nipped lightly on his arm. "You certainly weren't last night…"
"… I was drunk." He ground out as he clenched his eyes, tightly shut as vague flashes of memory assaulted his mind. "Very, very drunk."
"Oh, he speaks!" She smirked again, but made no move to relinquish her grip on him. "And we weren't?"
"Not on the level I had to be willing to sleep with the likes of you." Neji finally hissed back as he fully opened his eyes and glared angrily back down at the woman with furious white eyes.
"… Oh, fuck. You're a Hyuuga." The woman's grip immediately dropped off of him in shock as she stared up at him in disbelief, before suddenly bursting out laughing. "Oh…. Oh…. This is… oh gods! HAHAHAHAHA-! ERK!"
The laughter was cut off as immediately the young woman felt the almost feather light strike against her neck, before her whole body went completely limp. Neji wore a look of smug satisfaction as he stared back down at her for only an instant before he felt the cold touch of steel at his neck. Then the another, harder, angrier voice hissed into his ear. "You had better pray what you just did isn't permanent, pretty boy."
"Or else?" There wasn't even a tremor of fear as Neji's eyes stared forward, thick veins bulging out where the woman behind him couldn't see.
"Or else, good fuck or not, I cut your throat and watch you bleed out." The woman growled back at him.
"Tell me, how much do you know about Hyuuga? Hmm?" Neji seemed to ignore the blade completely as he continued to stare forward, watching the look of confusion crossing the blonde woman's features.
"What the fuck are you talking about, pretty boy?" The voice growled back at she pressed the blade edge more tightly against his skin.
"Skilled Hyuuga, specifically of the Main branch, are able to release the chakra out of their chakra system. Generally it's used in a move called the Kaiten." Neji paused a moment, before his lips quirked slightly. "Sadly, I was born into the Branch house."
"And you suck at bluffing." The woman behind him growled.
"When I was thirteen…" The blonde's eyes widened at the cold smirk that grew upon Neji's lips, before suddenly an explosion of chakra ripped out of his body, blasting the woman backwards, and the blade away from his skin. Along with the blonde woman's limp body, and destroying the bed beneath them. "I taught myself how to perform it."
He nimbly dodged the sword that cut into the bed he'd been on only moments before as the red headed woman swore at him. As his brow arched up, he couldn't help but feel his lips quirk as a comment came unbidden past his lips. "My… how… unyouthful."
"We'll see how youthful you are when I carve you to little bloody chunks!" The woman snarled back she quickly increased the speed of her swipes.
"Hmph, as if a weakling like you could hope to…" Neji countered back before his face was slammed into the ground by a blow to the back of his head.
"Oi! Quit trying to cause trouble, Neji!" A pair of blue eyes shone as a blonde young man stood over the fallen Hyuga with a grumble. "I swear, I can't take you anywhere!"
"… Naruto." Neji gritted out before rolling to his feet and glaring at the blond man. "I'm going to kill you, you know that right?"
"Please, remember who it was that beat whom last time?" Naruto scoffed for a moment before glancing at the limp blonde girl before crossing his arms about her chest. "Fix her."
"No."
"No?" Naruto arched a brow back at him.
"No." Neji agreed stubbornly with a half growl directed back at him.
"Ok." Naruto just smiled back at Neji in a way that instantly made the Hyuuga want to run for the hills and never look back.
"Ok?" The woman who'd held Neji at sword point only moments before spoke up in audible outrage.
"Yup, Ok." Naruto agreed with a nod of his head. "I'll just go get Sakura-chan to do it." Naruto paused a moment, letting the words sink in before he continued quite happily. "Of course, then she'll have to go and tell Granny all about it, you remember Granny, don't you, Neji?"
At Neji's stiff nod, Naruto nodded his head happily. "Good good. You see, she's been wanting to start up a day care service, and she's been really, really debating about pulling some Hyuuga into helping out with it. Personally, I think you'd be a hit."
"You wouldn't."
"I'm sure Super-Bushy-Brows would be happy to let her borrow you too!" Naruto went on as if he hadn't heard a word he'd said. "It would be a most youthful undertaking after all! And then Bushy-Brows would have to get in on it… And you know how he gets with new experiences."
"You couldn't."
"Then, of course, I'd have to explain to Hinata why you're being punished. Including what lead up to the whole thing."
"You can't!" A tone of desperation cracked into Neji's voice as his eyes widened in no small amount of panic.
"I'm sure she'd be oh, oh so… disappointed in her big brother."
"You evil, perverted bastard." Neji hissed out as he glared at Naruto before stalking over to the downed blonde girl pushing at her neck a bit harder than he really had to and then stalking back. "There, are you happy now?"
"No, not really." Naruto stated blandly as he purposely didn't look below Neji's waist. "You're still not wearing any pants."
"I'm not complaining." The blonde girl managed to croak out as she pushed herself up unsteadily.