A/N: I got all of your reviews from my last chapter, but I wasn't able to reply to any of them this weekend :( I was helping freshmen all weekend if you remember... So yeah, I apologize. I loved all of your reviews, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH =D Also, to the guest to just recently reviewed and pointed out how the girls walked to school and then Emily had her car later... xD That was totes a test to see who was paying attention ;) You win, Guest. I guess I need to pay more attention when I'm writing haha xD In my defense, I probably wrote half of that chapter at night and the other half the next morning, lol. Sorry for that awkward mistake. Maybe A broke into my story and drove Emily's car to school :)

Now, since you all are so awesome, here is a nice long chapter for you all... :)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own PLL!

PLEASE enjoy, favorite, follow and REVIEW!

"Stop moving, you're making this harder than it should be," I told Ali, chuckling as I tried to paint her toenails. We hadn't done each other's nails in forever, and when we got back from the movies, we decided that we should.

"I'm not moving," Alison teased, even though I knew that she was. I rolled my eyes playfully at her as I finished up her last nail.

"There," I said, once I'd finished. They were pink now, the color that Ali had picked.

"Can I do yours now?" Ali asked, smiling at me. I smiled back and nodded. We switched places so that I was on the bed stretching out my feet, and she was sitting at the end with the nail polish, making sure that she didn't mess hers up. "What about blue?" she asked, holding up the blue nail polish. I nodded my agreement and she started painting my nails.

"Ali?" I asked carefully. I got a questioning look from the blonde that told me to ask my question. "Do you wanna talk about last night?"

"If you want to, sure," she answered, keeping her eyes on my nails as she carefully painted them blue. I could almost feel her tensing, but I knew that we had to talk about it at some point.

"Well first of all, thanks. I never would've been able to sleep," I admitted.

"I know," Ali agreed, not saying anything else.

"Look, Ali, I know that you said that you liked me back, even if just a little bit, when I liked you before you disappeared," I started, not exactly sure what I was supposed to be saying.

"Yep…"

"But… do you still like me like that?" I asked, bracing myself for the answer. Ali froze, even though I was pretty sure that she'd been expecting that question. She carefully put the nail polish brush back into its bottle and sealed it tightly before looking at me from the other end of the bed.

"I think so," she admitted. "I've never really been good with feelings, Em." I searched her face carefully, and I saw no sign that she was lying. "Do you still like me like that?"

I swallowed visibly. This was the moment to admit to myself, and to Alison, that I did still have feelings for her like that. I averted my eyes from hers and nodded carefully. I felt Alison take my hand, I looked up at her. She squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"We'll figure this out, okay?" she said. "We don't have to do it right now."

I nodded, and she opened the nail polish, going back to coating my nails in blue paint.

When both of our nails were done and dry, we talked about Hanna and Caleb. I told Ali the stuff about him that she didn't know, because at first she seemed to think that he was kind of sketchy. I assured her that he was actually a good guy, and she seemed to feel a little more at ease about him afterward.

We had another boring dinner with my mom, and we watched a couple of movies. And by the time the night rolled around, both of us seemed to feel entirely comfortable around each other. And I was so glad.

After we had both showered and gotten ready for bed, we crawled into our sides of my bed and got under the covers. At first, we didn't talk or do anything but lie there. After a few silent minutes, though, Ali asked, "Are you going to be able to sleep okay?"

"I don't know," I answered, feeling the tension between us reappearing. I bit my lip nervously, because all I wanted was for her to wrap me in her arms and hold me, like the previous night. But I couldn't expect her to do that again.

So we faced the opposite directions and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to fall asleep. But the longer I laid there, the more awake I became. I thought about Ali and what A had planned for her. I remembered that Mona was also out for Alison, and I started to feel terrified for her. My Alison… or whatever she was… I didn't want anything to happen to her.

I thought that she must've fallen asleep, but I heard her call out quietly, "Em?"

"Ali?" I countered, opening my eyes finally and staring into the dark of my room.

"I can't sleep," the blonde behind me whispered.

"Neither can I," I admitted, rolling over so that I was facing Alison's back. She rolled over as well, and we were facing each other. A bit of hair fell onto her face, and I carefully reached out and brushed it away. I withdrew my hand immediately though, and just looked into Alison's eyes.

"I'm scared," she whispered, sounding like she might cry. "For myself. For all of us. I've always been scared, but it's getting harder to hide it."

"You don't have to hide it around me," I promised, shaking my head slightly.

"Of course I do," Alison whispered back, "you're hardly getting any sleep at night."

"I sleep better when you're here," I admitted, frowning. "But Ali, you are allowed to be scared. We're all scared."

"I've been scared for four years," Ali reminded me, and it sounded like she was choking up. "I've been being threatened by A for two more years than you all have. It's changed me. I'm never going to be the same. I'm always going to feel the need to be one step ahead of everyone. I'm always going to jump when someone comes to the door."

"And you can't help that," I interrupted before she could continue to list things. "Someone bad is doing that to you, to all of us. The important thing is that we're all here for each other, and we always will be. And maybe some good can come out of A changing you."

"Like me not being a bitch?" Ali grumbled, tearing her eyes away from mine. My hand navigated itself to Ali's cheek, and once she felt my touch, her eyes bounced back over to mine.

"Like you being yourself," I corrected. "You were never yourself to anyone, Ali. You wore masks all the time. It's like you had a different one for every person. You had one mask for when you talked to me, another when you talked to Hanna, another for Spencer. We all saw different people. But now, we're all seeing you."

"It's really hard to make that the light of all of this," Alison muttered, her voice sounding a little bitter all of the sudden.

"I'm not trying to make light of anything," I argued, my voice hardening only a tiny bit. "I'm just saying, it's nice to see the real you."

"How do you know this is the real me?" Alison countered, quirking up an eyebrow.

I smirked slightly. "Because I can see the tears in your eyes. Real ones."

"Maybe I just really good at making myself cry," Ali tried to joke, but as she did, a tear slipped out of her eye and fell sideways down her face with gravity. She sniffed and immediately wiped the tear away.

"You shouldn't be ashamed to cry, Ali," I insisted, but she shook her head.

"I'm not ashamed to cry," she promised me. "I'm afraid to cry. When people know what makes you cry, it isn't hard for them to use it against you."

"I'm the only one here," I reminded her. "You can cry if you want to."

Ali's arms suddenly wrapped around my waist, and she pulled me closer to her. She didn't kiss me, though, she buried her face into my neck. I felt a few of her tears on my skin, and I couldn't help but smile a little, feeling proud. Ali had come a long way.

I didn't know how long Ali cried, because I fell asleep in our embrace. When I woke up, Ali's head was resting on my chest, and I could hear her peaceful, even breathing. I closed my eyes again, wanting to just lay here and enjoy this moment. Unfortunately, as soon as my eyes slipped closed, my alarm went off, telling me that it was time to get up and get ready for school.

And it reminded me that tonight was the night that I had to officially end things with Paige. I glanced down at the blonde next to me, who was starting to stir at the sound of the alarm. I carefully pulled away from her and turned the alarm off. "Morning, sleepy head," I teased as Ali rolled over onto her back.

"Wow, I slept like a rock," she muttered.

"So did I," I admitted, getting up and out of my bed. "Should we stop at your place on the way to school so that you can grab some clothes?"

"Sounds good," Ali agreed. "If I wear your clothes to school again, Hanna is going to throw a conniption fit."

I let out a light laugh, and we started to get ready.

When I was all ready and Ali only needed to get dressed, we grabbed our stuff and drove down the street to her place. When we got there, we saw her dad leaving for work. "There's my Alison," he said, grabbing her in a hug once we got out of the car.

"Sorry, dad, I just haven't really wanted to wait up for you by myself," Ali apologized. "You have to work so late."

"I know, and I'm going to try and get the office to cut my hours back a little bit, but they need me there," her dad stated, frowning.

"I understand, dad," Alison insisted, shrugging the problem off.

"I need to head to work now, actually. When I can get a night off, we'll have dinner, okay?" he asked his daughter, who nodded with a smile. "Ah Emily, thanks for taking such good care of my daughter."

I smiled and nodded at him. He nodded back and got into his car before driving off. Alison sighed as she watched his car go. "It's so weird. It's like he's my dad, but he's not."

I gave her a sympathetic look. "C'mon, we don't want to be late."

We went into Ali's house and she got changed. She also decided to throw some of her clothes into a large shoulder bag. She said she could probably rely on that many for a week max, and then she could just come switch them out. It was only then that I realized how scared Ali actually was of her own house.

"You can grab it out of my car after school before you and Aria leave," I told her as she put it in the backseat of my car.

"Thanks," she thanked me, giving me a sweet smile that I couldn't help but return.

School was lame and lunch was boring. I only had one class, English, with Ali, but it was with all of the girls, so it was relatively normal. We didn't get any A texts. No one was approached by a fuming Paige, and no one had a run in with mysterious Mona or any of her team of Ali Haters. Everyone seemed to be having a perfect day.

At the end of the day, I gave Alison her bag of clothes and she left with Aria, who had elected to skip volunteering at Radley to avoid me having to take on a third night with Alison. Especially considering that I had plans with Paige, though I wasn't at all excited about them.

I went home after school and did my homework. Then I got ready for my thing with Paige and drove to the Grille, where she'd texted me earlier to meet her. I was a little nervous for how this whole thing was going to go, but I had to do it. I just hoped that Paige wasn't looking too far into the bright side of what might happen during this dinner.

When I got to the Grille, I spotted Paige sitting at a table waiting for me. She smiled as soon as she saw me, and I returned it with a small one of my own. I sat across from her. "Hey," I greeted.

"Hey!" Paige exclaimed happily. "You've been pretty busy lately, haven't you?"

I nodded. "Alison hasn't really wanted to be alone and the other girls are always busy."

"Does it feel good to be busy again?" Paige asked, obviously referring to this dinner.

"Paige, we really need to talk," I said tentatively, and she must've noticed.

"So this really isn't a date?" Paige asked, letting out a light sigh. I shook my head.

"No, it's not," I confirmed. "Paige, I think that we both need to see different people. Go different ways."

"Don't you love me, Emily? We had so many plans together," Paige reminded me.

"I can't go through with those anymore, Paige. Remember? My shoulder is screwing those plans up by itself. But Paige, you ruined the trust I had placed in you. I told you that I wouldn't communicate with Alison if you didn't turn her in, and what did you do right away?" I reminded her.

"I was trying to keep you safe," Paige argued.

"It doesn't matter why you did it, Paige, because I shared a really big secret with you and you ruined it," I stated. "Look, I'm always going to have some feelings toward you, but I can't love you. Not anymore. I need to be careful where I place my heart."

"Are you going to try and place it with Alison?" Paige demanded, leaning back a little in her chair and looking at me challengingly. I gave her a confused look.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, tell me that she has nothing to do with you breaking up with me," Paige commanded.

"She doesn't," I exclaimed, sitting up straighter. "Paige, Ali doesn't control me, okay? And she hasn't said a word to me about breaking up with you, anyway. Surprise, surprise, you've managed to mess this up all by yourself."

"Fine," Paige muttered, standing up. "We're officially done, then?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Good to know. See you in passing, I guess," Paige said bitterly, and then she disappeared. I felt tears coming to my eyes and I took a deep, shaky breath.

"Can I get you something?" a waitress suddenly asked me.

"Um, no. I need to go, actually, sorry," I answered, shaking my head and leaving.

AAA

Eight-thirty, and Aria was already asleep. Emily and I must've been the only ones with sleeping problems. I couldn't sleep, though, and all I could think about was Emily and Paige. I was pacing through Aria's room, and I finally decided to call Emily. She should be done with her dinner with Paige by now anyway.

No answer.

I tried again, and it went straight to voicemail.

I probably tried to call her a dozen times, and then I started to get really worried about her. What if Paige was part of the A team, or Mona's team? I was starting to freak out by now. "Aria?" I called to my sleeping friend. She didn't budge, which told me that she was completely passed out.

I inhaled deeply and glanced around the room. I grabbed my backpack and retrieved my journal, and then I went to Aria's purse and grabbed one of her purses. I slipped my journal in it and then borrowed Aria's keys as well. I really shouldn't have been doing this, my friends would kill me, but I was way too worried about Emily to stop myself.

Once I had the essentials for leaving the house, I snuck out of the place and borrowed Aria's car. I hadn't gotten a license, but I knew how to drive. As long as someone didn't pull me over, I would be fine.

First, I drove to Emily's house and knocked on the front door. Her mom answered the door. "Oh, hello Alison. What are you doing here?"

"Is Emily here?" I asked, hoping and hoping that she would say yes.

"No, I think she's still out with Paige," Mrs. Fields answered, frowning. "Why, is something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I insisted. "Just needed to talk to her. Bye, Mrs. Fields."

I got back into Aria's car and went to the Grille. I was pretty sure that was the only place to have dinner around here, so I figured that if they were still somewhere together, that's where they were.

They weren't though. As I was double checking the place, a waitress approached me. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, did you see an eighteen year old girl in here earlier? Dark hair, swimmer body? She would've been here with another girl," I explained.

"Oh yeah, I remember them. The one with lighter hair stormed out on her, and the one with dark hair almost cried and then left just a minute after her. They were only here for like five minutes," the waitress answered. Man, people were chatty, and observant.

"She didn't say where she was going, did she?" I asked quickly.

"She just said that she had to go," the waitress answered, shrugging. I nodded, and then I was gone and back in Aria's car. Where would Emily have gone after breaking up with Paige if she didn't go home? I went through dozens of places in my mind, but vetoed each one as unlikely. And then I thought of one that might be realistic.

I drove a ways, and then found myself outside of Rosewood High. I grabbed my purse and got out of the car, locking it behind me. It was dark and no one was around, so I was a little freaked out as I walked toward the school. I couldn't get in through the front, so I walked around the building until I got to the gym wing entrance. One of the doors was propped open.

I let myself in, leaving the door propped, and found my way to the pool. Sure enough, when I walked in, Emily was sitting on the edge of the pool. Her pants were rolled up so that her feet and lower legs could dangle into the water. "Hi," I said quietly as I walked in. Emily's head jerked around.

"What are you doing here?" Emily demanded. "Where is Aria?"

"Sleeping, at her house," I admitted. "I borrowed her car."

"Why?" Emily demanded.

I bit my lip. "I was worried about you. I called you like fifteen times."

"Oh," she said, sounding actually surprised, "I really didn't hear it go off. My phone must be on vibrate." She glanced at her own purse which was sitting a few feet away from her. I slowly walked over to her and sat down next to her, slipping off my shoes and lowering my feet into the water as well.

"It didn't go well?" I asked carefully.

"No, it didn't," Emily confirmed. "It just really hurts to hurt her."

"I know what you mean," I told her, and I really did. "But it was better to let her go than to give her hope if you never planned to go back to her."

"I know," Emily agreed, nodding. "She still thinks you got me to do it, though."

I sighed. "Figures. I don't think her opinion of me will ever change."

"Will your opinion of her ever change?" Emily asked, glancing at me pointedly.

"It has, a little bit. I mean, I saw how happy she made you. Even if I still think that she's obnoxious and annoying… she made you happy when I couldn't. I'm actually a little grateful toward her. Not that she would believe me if I told her that," I muttered, shrugging.

"Well, some of the times I had with her were the best I'd had during this mess we've been stuck in," Emily admitted. "I can't be with her anymore, but it's sad to let her go."

I reached over and took her hand supportively. She met my eyes and squeezed her hand.

"Aria is going to kill you," Emily told me, and I smiled slyly.

"She'll never know. I'll be back before morning," I promised her. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay." I nudged her foot in the water with mine, and we started a small game of footsie in the water.

"Well, I'm okay," she insisted, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"No you're not," I argued. "You don't need to be ashamed to cry."

She gave me an amused look for returning her advice back to her. "I don't, huh?"

"Nope, I'm the only one here," I reminded her, chuckling. She leaned her head on my shoulder, something I wasn't expecting, and sighed.

"Thanks for coming to check on me," she whispered. "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"Because the pool is your special place. If it weren't for your shoulder, you'd probably be swimming right now, too," I reasoned.

"You're probably right."

I thought for a moment. "Tell you what, as soon as you can swim again, we'll come here together and we'll swim all day."

Emily let out a laugh that almost sounded like a giggle, and I smiled to myself proudly. I got that giggle out of her. Me, just me.

"I'm sorry about Paige. I mean for years ago when I bullied her and turned her into the person who hated me enough to betray your trust," I whispered, figuring that would need to be said before she could really feel okay about this.

"I wasn't blaming you," Emily admitted.

"You would have, though, if you ever started to regret it," I promised her, "and I just wanted to apologize before that happened. And if you don't want me to apologize for that, I'm sure I can come up with a billion other things to say that I'm sorry for."

"You did a lot of bad things, Ali," Emily stated, "but in the end, you're the only person who saw me for who I really was. Sometimes I feel like you're still the only one who understands me."

"Funny, I feel the same way about you," I admitted. "I always have. You always looked at me in a special light."

"Yeah, but did you really used to think that I was the only one who understood you? I mean, most of the time I was looking at a mask," Emily reminded me, pulling her head off of my shoulder and meeting my eyes.

I swallowed thickly and found myself making a decision to do something that I really didn't want to do. "Emily, you need to know some things."

"Like what?" she asked, concerned.

"Things about me, about us," I said, reaching for my purse.

"What things? Why?" Emily asked, sounding really worried.

"Don't be worried," I said, trying to calm her down. "Why? Because I can't explain to you how I feel about you."

Emily gave me a confused look, and I reached into my purse, or really, Aria's purse, and retrieved my notebook. I set the bag down and held the book in both of my hands.

"I thought you didn't have anymore journals?" Emily asked carefully.

"This one is a lot different," I whispered. "I can't tell you what's in here, you have to read it for yourself. The whole thing. And then you can do whatever you want, talk to me about it, don't… I'll understand no matter what you do."

"Alison, what's in that?" Emily demanded in a quiet voice.

I handed it to her. "Don't open it until I'm gone. In fact, you probably shouldn't read it until you get home. Read the whole thing, don't stop in the middle, okay? You have to read the whole thing."

"Ali—"

"I'm gonna go. Don't worry, Aria will never know that I was gone," I promised, grabbing my purse and practically bolting from the place.

EEE

I watched Alison run out of the pool area, and I swallowed nervously and opened her journal to the first page. In her careful handwriting was my name. Just my name. Emily.

I took her advice and closed the thing. I wouldn't read it until I was home. I would read it all tonight, because I probably wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway.

Ohhh emmm geee Emily's got the journal you guys! #EmilysGotTheJournal

Please review and leave me your thoughts =D Or you can PM me your thoughts instead =D ALSO, follow me on Twitter at BrittzandTana and tweet me that you read this for a follow back! ALSO, if you tweet me with #EmilysGotTheJournal I'll give you a shoutout bc you're extra cool if you do that lol.

I am super tired and I want to veg so... skipping over my random stuff haha...

Goodnight lovelies! Please review =D