The First Time
He Hugged Her
"Jesus, Sonja, what did you do, ram yourself against a wall to pop your shoulder back into its socket?"
Carol's blue eyes focused on the woman across from her, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Sonja, who was currently enduring Doctor McCoy's demanding stare, could feel Carol's silent 'I told you so' and rolled her eyes at herself for getting caught. Though, to be fair, the situation had called for it seeing as she'd had a science officer to protect and not a lot of time to get to the rendezvous point.
"Yes," She sighed slowly, leaning away from the doctor's stare.
Carol let her smile bloom before dropping her eyes to inspect her newly bandaged palms.
McCoy clicked his tongue and waved his patient off of the table, clearing the data from the scanner. "You're lucky. Other than slight dehydration, along with the other bumps and scrapes you refuse to acknowledge, you appear to be perfectly fine."
"Lucky," Sonja repeated the word. She began to rub her shoulder.
"Go get some rest, Sonja, you've earned it." McCoy gently pat her opposite shoulder then turned his attention back to Carol Marcus. "You, on the other hand, get to stay here a bit longer. The captain has a few things he'd like to discuss with you."
"I'm sure he does," Carol agreed, settling onto a table, bringing her red, scraped knees to light. She locked eyes with Sonja as the woman stood to take her leave. She wanted to give her thanks to this woman who, despite their disagreements back on that planet, had thrown her life down on the line to protect and save hers. The way Sonja stood, however, merely flashing an awkwardly forced smile in Carol's direction, silenced her. That one action seemed to wipe the last miserable three hours away so that what remained was honest understanding that they could move forward without discussing those things again.
As the med bay doors swooshed shut behind her though, Carol knew it wouldn't stay buried between them for long.
After returning to her room, Sonja showered for a long while. Her hands absently going through the motions while her mind sullenly mulled over Carol's words on planet. The scientist had spoken many words, certainly; colorful words that coming from such a seemingly proper lady, were actually comical in retrospect.
'Quit shitting me.'
'I'm not shitting you, Doc. Get behind me.'
'Your plan is about as useful as tits on a boar hog!'
The fact that she paused in her mission long enough to gawk at the science officer deemed the phrase worthy enough to share with both Skyla and Jim; they'd definitely get a kick out of it. The former, always eager for a chance to tease and the latter…
Her hands dropped from atop her head to cling onto her shoulders. Then, suddenly she stopped the shower and stepped out.
Once Jim saw that Carol was in one piece, laughing lightly with Bones, the heavy weight plaguing his lungs lifted and he breathed in easily.
"Nice to have you back in one piece, Doctor Marcus." His greeting alerted the two of his presence and Bones swiveled in his chair away from Carol to toss a used towel onto his desk.
"It's good to be in one piece, Captain." Carol returned with a grin. "I had a hell of a security detail that made that possible."
"Is that so?" Her smile, coupled with his relief, spawned his own good mood, humor, and smile.
"Doctor McCoy informed me you wanted a word?"
Jim glanced at Bones who rolled his eyes and stood from his seat. "If you'll excuse me, I think I hear Miss Stine in the next room giving the head nurse a hard time."
Carol listened as the doctor departed and felt the beginnings of trepidation nip at her. "You want to know what happened." She guessed cautiously before meeting Jim's gaze.
He pulled up a stool, sat, then crossed his arms.
"Don't leave out a single detail. Pick up where communication was lost."
The viewing hall, with its dim lighting, was always freezing, no matter the layers thrown on. Something about staring into the endless abyss of space with no sign of the living, planetary or otherwise, pressed the low temperature deeper than the skin's surface. Essentially, this meant no one really passed through here or stayed long.
Sonja stood by the glass, arms crossed, sporting the drab green sweater McCoy gave her for her birthday the previous year. Both Sulu and Scotty had snickered at the plain attire, teasing the doctor on his 'very thoughtful' gift. Because with the numerous uniforms they were provided, another sweater was just the thing she needed to complete her wardrobe. Sonja argued against this point several times, not with reprimands or snarky remarks as they surely expected, but simply by wearing the garment whenever she was off duty and in need of a long-sleeve.
The sweater brought little warmth to soothe her, though her thoughts troubled her enough that she believed the unforgivable cold to be a deserving punishment.
'You love him, don't you.'
It wasn't the first time that accusation had been thrown. If she remembered correctly, it had first been thrown by Skyla, closely followed by an agreement from Nyota and a question of sanity from McCoy. She'd always been one to brush off the attention and deny the idea, completely dubious to what they saw to foster it to begin with.
The fact that not even two hours ago, the woman the whole ship knew Kirk was currently interested in felt the need to bring the matter up right before the moment they believed could have been their last, forced Sonja to reevaluate her six year acquaintance with the man. The acquaintance that somehow through their time at the academy had evolved into a friendship. And the friendship that seemed to solidify as the number of adventures aboard the Enterprise accrued.
But, she didn't spend any more time with him than anyone else. Once he'd reached captaincy he eventually set up a close knit counsel exclusively made up of McCoy and Spock. He also seemed to have made it a rule to not have relations with members of his crew.
She then remembered Chapel and grudgingly dismissed the last argument.
But she had her own rule against that, didn't she? She had a purpose for being on the Enterprise, for being in Starfleet, and it wasn't to find herself a lover. She had a family to think of: a sick mother living on her own, a brother struggling to support his growing family; they were her reason for enlisting. They were her reason for staying.
Movement in the reflection on the glass caught her eye and had her quickly turning to identify the intruder of her solitude. The object of her rumination stood at the entrance to the viewing hall, eyes huge and storming as they settled on her, lips in a thin line, and stance deceptively tall. She could tell that with only a single push he would tumble to the floor, a mess of limbs. Shear will was holding him up.
A will to talk with her it appeared, as he approached and immediately began the process of grilling her without even so much as a hello.
"Lieutenant did I, or did I not order the abrupt termination of the mission should the situation turn south?"
So abrupt was the change in atmosphere, Sonja could only blink and utter a useless, "What?"
He stood before her, tall and imposing, butting into her personal space. "Did I, or did I not order the abrupt termination-"
"Yes." She cut in, dropping her arms to her sides, jutting her chin out, and standing to her full height as well. He didn't have much on her like he did with most of the women on the ship and she reveled in it at times such as this; times when he tried to make her feel small. They both knew she could push right back.
"Then why was the mission not aborted?" He demanded.
"It was a thief, Captain, not a war lord."
"A thief that was able to apprehend several of your detail, beat you in a brawl, and steal the data from Doctor Marcus without receiving so much as a scratch? And your great idea is to go after the thief, jeopardizing the mission and unnecessarily putting a number of lives in danger?"
"I retrieved the data and returned with every member of my team relatively unharmed. Doctor Marcus is very much alive and has her data. You have everyone on your crew accountable and the planet is less one petty thief, what more do you want?"
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" Kirk's face reddened as he yelled over her; but that wasn't what reduced Sonja's argument to silence. "You have no idea who you just encountered do you? Who you took on by yourself without the back up of this ship, without the back up of your detail and only a science officer at your side?"
His skin glistened with sweat; all across his neck and beading along his hairline. The temptation to bait him rose within her. However, this had quickly transitioned from a lecture from an overbearing control freak to a reaction of genuine concern.
"According to the records Doctor Marcus pulled-while you were down there-the outpost was attacked, the people taken hostage and tortured. All by a species known as the Vians. You were extremely lucky only one was made aware of your presence. Seeing as he nearly wiped you out, imagine if he had lead you back to his colony. They are ruthless killers, Laxely, which is why you should have aborted the mission and returned to the ship. A good leader would have done so."
Her lips parted as her jaw slackened, eyes dark and latched onto his.
"You're on a month's suspension from landing party duty, effective immediately." He walked past her, his stride brisk, the adrenaline clearly enough to still hold him up.
Sonja quickly turned with him. "Why was I not informed of the planet's inhabitants? A good captain would inform his soldiers of what they were going into before actually sending them in."
Spinning on his heel, he stormed back toward her.
"All information of the planet was erased; I didn't know. That's why we needed to physically go down to retrieve whatever information we could. It's also why I gave the orders to abort the mission should anything go wrong. What you're failing to realize is that I trusted you. I trusted you to take care of your detail, of yourself, of…"
"Carol," Sonja finished for him.
The name snapped him from his feverish tirade and suddenly her friend, not her captain, was staring down at her, panting from exertion. But the words, whether they belonged solely to the captain, her friend, or both, had been said. And they held a truth. A hypocritical truth, but a truth all the same.
"A month's suspension." She repeated evenly when it appeared Kirk had forgotten anything else he was going to say. Staring at her so intently, she could only guess what was going through that mind of his. "Jim?"
"Are you okay?" He breathed out, shoulders slumping significantly.
She had a moment's panic that it wouldn't take a push after all for him to fall over. "I'm fine, Jim. Are you?"
Maybe he'd said all he needed to say; heard all he needed to hear; because the next moment, he used one arm to pull her close and quickly encircled her in an embrace. Her arms immediately went under his, but she had enough thought to keep from completing the circle, keeping her hands in the air and her head up, away from his. She could feel his hands though, hot on her back. His arms weighed down on her shoulders, crushing her to him. His hair brushed the shell of her ear and sweat smeared across her neck where his skin contacted hers.
When she realized he wasn't going to let go any time soon with a lame apology and a terse departure, she hesitantly placed her hands along his back. Then began to move them in a soothing motion, the kind she used to enact to calm her oldest nephew whenever he awoke from a terrifying nightmare.
"I'm okay," She murmured, knowing that as his chest moved against hers when taking a breath, she was not really okay. Not at all. She hadn't been for a while.
A:N/: I haven't had a chance to go back over this and edit it. I was just bit by a writing bug and wanted to get this out asap. I was torn about this chapter because this could be the First Time He Hugged Her, but it could also be the First Time She Realized She Loved Him. Please let me know what you think, because I could write a different version for either.
Also, you can thank my boyfriend for the 'useful as tits on a boar hog' line.
Thank you for the support, the follows, and the reviews, they really do mean so much to me.
Until next time!