Fragmented Ideas

by Chilord

A variety incompleted story starts that will not likely be finished.

56. Naruto: Kunoichi Summoning Contract

Title: Kunoichi Summoning

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Notes: Yes. I am that kind of insane.

-o-o-o-

"Sasuke, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Naruto Uzumaki was grinning, broadly at his teammate, his hands rubbing together in a manner that almost always spoke of the blond's particular manner of mischief.

"… I seriously, seriously hope not." Sasuke Uchiha countered flatly with a shake of his head. "That would mean either you finally grew a brain, or somehow I'd lost mine."

"Hmph! Just because you have no respect for how awesome I am…!" Naruto was cut off, as the first of his other teammate impacted on the top of his skull.

"Oh, shut up Naruto! Stop being an idiot already!" Sakura Haruno growled out as she glared down at the boy, almost buried in the dirt in front of her.

"But Sakura-chaaaaaaaan! It's a really awesome idea!" Naruto whined softly as he stared up eagerly at the girl, blinking slightly, as he couldn't help but blurt out. "You know, I can see panty lines on those shorts of yours, right?"

"…" Sakura blinked, then blushed brilliantly red as her emerald eyes sparked in anger as she realized he was looking up her dress. "YOU PERVERT!"

Sasuke sighed slightly as he watched Sakura proceed to violently assault their teammate, his face caught in his palm as he could literally feel the look of sympathy the chunin at the gate was sending him even before the man spoke. "Are they always this bad?"

"… You have No idea," Sasuke stated flatly before sighing a bit, "Sakura, stop hitting Naruto. Naruto, stop being an idiot."

"You know that's never going to happen, Sasuke-kun," Sakura muttered softly as she glared at Naruto. "He'll always be an idiot."

"Hey!" Naruto whined in protest as he glared back at Sakura.

"True," Sasuke admitted with a sigh.

"HEY!" The protest was louder this time as his glare turned from Sakura to Sasuke before crossing his arms about his chest. "Fine! See if I share my super awesome idea now!"

"… Thank the kami for small favors then," Sasuke muttered again as he shook his head and looked back at the gate patiently.

"…" Naruto glared at Sasuke for a moment, before muttering quietly under his breath as he glared back at the gate.

"Wow, did you actually manage to shut him up, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura stared, disbelief written on her face as she glanced from Sasuke to Naruto.

Sasuke resisted the urge to bang his head against the nearby pole as Naruto immediately shouted out an almost wordless protest. "I did until you opened your mouth."

"HEY!" Naruto shouted out once more as he glared, angrily back at Sasuke and Sakura. "Fine, you want to be that way?! I'll show you!"

"… It's time to start, just so you know." The chunin suddenly offered up as he lightly kicked the gate open, smiling innocently as Naruto immediately bolted through, all on his own.

Sasuke stared at the chunin for a moment before gritting his teeth in irritation. "… Are you trying to get us failed?!"

"Hey, if your team can't keep its temper in check…" An innocent smile on his lips the man leaned back against the fence and whistled for a moment. "Aren't you going to head in?"

Glaring angrily at the man, Sasuke noted curtly before he ran into the training ground, hoping to catch up to Naruto before his teammate did something stupid and got himself, and them, eliminated, Sakura quickly following after him.

-o-o-o-

Once he'd made it a good distance past the starting gate, Naruto glanced around quickly, before furrowing his brow in concentration and bringing his hands up in a single sign. A moment later, he was surrounded by precisely 156 shadow clones. Frowning a bit, he glanced around before suddenly straightening up tall and proud. "All right, men! They've laughed at us, dismissed us, made fun of us…!"

There was a wave of murmured assent amongst the crowd of clones, before Naruto quickly cut them all with a vicious swipe of his arm. "But, no more! We'll show them! Show them all, the true awesomeness of Naruto Uzumaki!"

A smattering of cheers had begun, before one of the clones spoke up nervously. "But, Boss… do we have to go after all of them? That one with the tongue was… yeah."

Naruto paused a moment, before frowning just a bit then nodding in agreement. "Right, she was way too creepy."

"And a lot of the teams didn't even have... well, you know." Another Naruto clone added quickly, while another coughed loudly.

"Coughsaugefestscough!"

"That's why some of you will transform to look like those teams! To get the teams we do go after to think they're responsible!" Naruto quickly agreed with an evil look as he rubbed his hands together.

"But, what're we gonna do when we catch em, boss?" Another clone asked quickly.

"That's where this comes in!" Naruto proclaimed proudly as he held up a scroll.

"… An empty scroll?"

"For now, but I'm gonna make it a sealing scroll! We'll seal them in it!" Naruto declared proudly.

"… Do we even know how to make a sealing scroll?" One of the clones asked worriedly. "I mean, without the book that is."

"Bah, how hard can it be?" Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "I've done it plenty of times!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Could be heard muttered somewhere in the group of clones.

"Oh, shut up!" Naruto grumbled slightly as he glared at them. "Just go and take care of your part of the mission!"

"Right, boss." Was muttered slightly by one of the clones before a sigh left his lips. "All right, teams of six… let's get this show on the road!"

With that, the clones raced off in different directions, as Naruto himself unraveled the scroll, produced a brush, and an ink well, then went to work.

-o-o-o-

"How are we supposed to find Naruto in here?!" Sakura hissed out as she glanced over at Sasuke, her eyes flashing angrily as she gestured to the overflowing wilderness around them.

"We will." Sasuke stated in a cold, flat tone as he leapt from one tree branch to the next.

"And if we can't?" Sakura paused, glancing around with a sudden realization. "What if... someone or something else gets him first?"

"Not going to happen." Sasuke stated with quietly gritted teeth as he focused dead ahead.

"How do you know that, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura bit into her lip as she glanced back at her teammate.

"Because I'm going to be the one to kill that idiot for this." He stated flatly in turn as he glared out into the forest in front of them.

"Ahh, right..." Sakura slowly agreed, staring back at him with a slight gleam flashing across her eyes before nodding her head in agreement. "Of course you will, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted quietly back at the girl before suddenly whirling around as six Narutos suddenly appeared behind Sakura and grabbed ahold of her just as quickly. "What…? Naruto…? What the Hell are you doing, you idiot?"

"All part of the boss' master plan!" The grin on the clone's face was somewhere between apologetic and maniacal as he lead his group back into the forest. "Don't worry about it, it'll be awesome!"

"MMMPH!" Sakura's muffled protest filled the air even as she was dragged away by the clones.

"… I swear, you idiot, if I have to rescue Sakura from your stupidity and she ends up even worse than she was before…" Sasuke's voice was a low, irritated growl as he immediately began to follow after the clones.

-o-o-o-

"Tsk… What do you want Naruto?" Shikamaru Naru grumbled as he studied the grinning blond boy in front of him, his body slumped forward, hands in his pockets.

"Well, I was thinking that you really, really don't want to do this, right?" 'Naruto' noted with an easy grin on his face as he threaded his fingers behind his head.

As Shikamaru and the 'big-boned' Chouji Akimichi nodded their heads slightly in agreement, their teammate, Ino Yamanaka immediately cut in with an angry squawk. "If you think I'm going to let you ruin my chance to show off to Sasuke-kun, you've got another thing coming, you idiot!"

"Yeah… I have no problems with it, but Ino here… well, you know how she gets." Shikamaru shrugged a bit apologetically back at Naruto.

"Yup." 'Naruto' agreed, his smile only growing. "Which is why I was planning on killing two birds with one stone."

"Huh?" Ino blinked slightly in confusion, before her eyes widened as four Narutos dropped from the forest overhead, each grabbing hold of one of her limbs and taking off. "HEY!"

"… Naruto, did you just… Kidnap, Ino?" Chouji spoke up hesitantly as he almost dropped his chips in shock.

"Yup." There was a quick nod of the head in agreement. "She have your scroll?"

"It was too troublesome to carry it ourselves." Shikamaru admitted with a grunt of acknowledgment before eying Naruto more. "What's to stop us from using you to get the scroll, and her, back?"

"Well, as I'm not really me, that'd be kind of difficult." Was the cheerful response before he glanced around. "Plus, you know… This means you've been eliminated and you lose."

"Only if we don't find Ino and get our scroll back." Chouji pointed out with a frown on his face. "And we really should."

"Well, you could." The clone agreed with another cheerful grin on his face. "Spend all that time and effort, tracking her down, getting her back, then having to listen to her for the rest of the week, nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide…"

"… Were you actually planning on having that convince us?" Shikamaru arched a brow just slightly back at 'Naruto.'

"Nah, I was just supposed to keep you distracted long enough for the rest of them to get far enough away that you can't catch them." He responded cheerfully with a grin on his face. "Then I figured you'd be too lazy to try and to look for her, what with you not really having many tracking skills."

"Shika…?" Chouji spoke up, studying the way his teammate shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"What can I say? He's beaten us, we have no real way of recovering Ino until he lets her go or she escapes." Shikamaru answered back with a serious nod of his head.

"… You really, really don't want to have to do this, huh?" Chouji answered back with slightly narrowed eyes before shrugging his shoulders a bit. "Oh, woe is us, for our teammate has been cruelly kidnapped and we have no way to recover her. Whatever will we do?"

"Ham." Shikamaru muttered darkly as he mildly glared at Chouji.

"… Hey!" The Naruto clone protested. "You can't just…!"

"Can. Did." Chouji shot back cheerfully. "Have fun with Ino."

"Hmph. I'll let the boss deal with you, you'll see!" The clone insisted before suddenly vanishing in a puff of chakra smoke."

"Should we be worried?" Chouji asked with a sudden look of trepidation on his face.

"Probably. But, it's too troublesome right now. Come on, let's go find someplace to relax." Shika stated simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

-o-o-o-

It was some distance away that another trio of genin came to a stop a quickly surveyed the area. Around them, the shifting rustle of forest life pulsed tentatively back to life around them as they each stood carefully still. Finally, on an unseen signal, each of them looked at one another and nodded.

"We'll meet back up here in 30 minutes." Neji Hyuga stated flatly as he turned his cold, pale eyes to his teammates before tossing a kunai into the cold waiting earth.

"Ok!" Warm brow eyes slightly glistening, Tenten smiled slightly back at him with a quick nod of her head.

"Right!" Hand snapped back into a salute, Rock Lee nodded quickly as well.

"All right..." A cold smirk curled over Neji's lips. "GO!"

As each raced off in different directions, a group of shapes shifted slightly taking off in the direction Tenten had left for.

Tenten failed to notice them until suddenly they were landing almost on top of her. Two groups of nin, both wearing Hidden Rain symbols on their foreheads grabbed hold of her just as she pulled out a kunai in each hand. A startled hiss of breath left her lips, before she felt her weapons wrenched out of her grip.

Her weapon scrolls were pulled out and tossed away a moment later, before she suddenly erupted with a loud cry. "NEJI! LEE!"

Instantly, something was shoved into her mouth, and she could feel herself being with her wrists to her ankles, before suddenly finding herself air born.

As she struggled roughly to try and worm free of her bonds, she watched... another her? No, one of her attackers must have transformed himself to look like her. As she watched her own face wink at her and smirk behind a gag, she bit back another muffled scream as she was quickly dragged away into the distance.

The copy of herself suddenly seemed to break free from her bonds, and started struggling again. Tenten could only watch, helplessly as the scene continued to unfold, even as it faded from sight. She just had to remain calm, and try to find a way out of this. Lee and Neji would take care of the assholes, see through their plot and then come get her.

Those Rain bastards had no idea who they were messing with.

-o-o-o-

Neji grunted angrily as he easily flowed around another one of Tenten's kunai being thrown at him by one of the Rain team that had captured his teammate. The throws themselves weren't too difficult to dodge. In fact, they were amazingly simple feats compared to trying to evade them in the hands of their true mistress, but they served their purpose.

They kept slowing him down. Already the one with Tenten had just reached the edge of his byakagan. If they were allowed to get much further, then...

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light as one of them apparently detonated one of Tenten's flash tags. He bit back a scream of frustration as for a brief moment, the world seemed to go white. Then, with a practiced pulse of chakra, he rapidly cycled his bloodline, clearing away the momentary disorientation, only to find... nothing?

Gritting his teeth, he found Tenten's fallen equipment nearby, but no sign of his teammate, nor her kidnappers. He felt the urge to scream in frustration, but channeled it into cold, icy focus. He suddenly burst forward, jumping from tree to tree, dashing in the general direction the other team had followed.

Seconds ticked by, then, when he reached almost a minute, he caught it, on the very edge of his range. There they were, settled into the trees over a path. Already waiting to ambush someone else apparently.

As a cold smirk curled over his lips, he moved, silently up the trees behind them. Now he just had to find out where they'd hidden his teammate. A frown curled past his lips then. And she had best still be alive.

-o-o-o-

The clones carrying Tenten glanced worriedly at one another as the memories of the team that had been leading Neji towards their fall guys filtered into their minds. Nodding to one another, they resolved to make sure that the boss remembered to be more careful with exploding and flash tags in the future.

Accidentally setting them off at the wrong time could seriously, seriously fuck things up.

-o-o-o-

Dosu, Zaku and Kin each glanced at one another as they heard the rustling around them. Breaking into identical smirks, they each, casually began to ready their weapons. With a stretching twist, Kin reached down towards her senbon pouch, only to immediately jump back as a wave of kunai hurtled into the ground between her and her teammates.

The kunai followed her, and her teammates as she quickly jumped back again, then again, staying just one step ahead of the kunai. Her eyes suddenly narrowed in realization just as she felt the rope tightening on her ankle. One step ahead of the weapons, straight into a waiting trap.

Gritting her teeth, Kin's hands immediately went to a pouch where she kept a number of kunai, just in case, only to have the rope suddenly jostle off to one side, and slam her into a nearby tree, forcing her to drop the kunai in her hand and jostling the rest out of the pouch.

"Dammit! Pay more attention you idiot! You almost lost her!"

"Don't call me an idiot, you idiot!"

Kin couldn't help it, her mouth opened into an "O" of disbelief as she found herself hauled up by a pair of bickering Waterfall nin. Reaching down, she grabbed hold of some of her senbon, only to bite down a yelp as the rope suddenly went slack. Her eyes widened immediately, and she quickly tried to twist herself around as a voice shouted through the air.

"Don't drop her! Come on man! You know the boss will kill us if we mess this up!"

And then suddenly she wasn't falling. In fact, it was a rather sharp, and sudden stop that caused her to almost lose her grip on her senbon. Almost wasn't good enough for them though, as she let loose a vicious grin of triumph and cocked her arm back.

"ZANKUUKYUKUHA!"

Kin had just enough time to condemn Zaku to the pits of hell before she was slammed back into the tree and was claimed by darkness.

-o-o-o-

"YOU GOD DAMNED IDIOT!" Dosu smashed the metal covering his arm into Zaku's face. "What the hell were you thinking!?"

"We needed to get the area cleared, and I cleared it." Zaku sneered as he glared back at Dosu. "What's your problem?"

"Kin was over there!" Dosu growled out as his eye narrowed onto Zaku. "And in case you've forgotten, we need her alive and well to be able to finish this stage!"

"I'm sure she's fine." Zaku waved his hand dismissively before frowning slightly. "Where are they?"

"I don't know! That damned attack of yours sent debris falling everywhere! I can't track them by sound until it quiets down!" Dosu snapped back. "When I get my hands on those Rain bastards..."

"You've still got the scroll though, right?" Zaku asked as he glanced back at Dosu.

"Of course I've got it, but it doesn't do us a lot of..." Dosu's eye immediately widened. "Dammit! They didn't want our scroll, they just wanted to keep us from continuing!"

"... Come on! We have to go get those bastards!" Zaku snarled out as he immediately started to rush in the direction Kin had vanished in, Dosu reluctantly following him.

-o-o-o-

Naruto wasn't sure how the seal had managed to grow as large as it had. He couldn't remember a seal taking up an entire scroll before, but, then again, he hadn't tried to do one without using that boring book before. Really it just looked so much more awesome with the extra stuff added!

Nodding his head, Naruto grinned triumphantly as he set the scroll into place then paused a moment in consideration. "Wait, what if that's not enough? I better make sure I get plenty for this!"

Grinning maniacally, he quickly went to work.

-o-o-o-

Temari sighed as she watched the trio of Rain nin confront Gaara, and quietly began to inch her way backwards, placing herself a decent distance from her youngest brother. Just because he couldn't be touched, didn't mean she couldn't. She'd made that mistake once already, and she wasn't about to make it again.

Then, as her eyes instinctively followed the rise of four umbrellas into the air, she barely noticed the presence approaching her. Her hand had snapped towards her fan, at the same time she felt herself being grabbed by three sets of limbs, one on each of her arms, and another across her mouth. Then the iron ring of a kunai being slammed into the back of her head.

It wasn't quite strong enough to make the world go black, but it did scatter her thoughts in a blast of pain and vertigo. She struggled, trying to make a sound over the downpour of needles thrusting into Gaara's shield. Then, she felt something harder hit and she slumped into their arms, unconscious.

-o-o-o-

Kankuro frowned as the downpour of needles stilled and the idiot began to shoot his mouth off about impossible this and impossible that. It sad how often people kept spewing the same meaningless bullshit. Shaking his head, he opened his mouth to speak as he glanced over at Temari, only immediately grab Karasu at what he saw.

"Gaara! Those Grass freaks are grabbing Temari!" Kankuro swore as he threw his puppet out just in time to watch his struggling sister vanish as the same kunoichi who'd made such a statement retrieving the proctor's kunai winked at him before vanishing.

"Then stop them," Gaara stated flatly as his sand almost boredly batted away a trio of senbon, then suddenly swam over the panicking Rain nin and picked up one of the fallen umbrellas to cover himself in the shade.

Suddenly the air exploded with blood, and at the same time, a wave of kunai struck the earth just in front of Kankuro. "I'm trying! But I need some help here!"

"Tsh. Pathetic." Gaara glared back at Kankuro, now ignoring the horrified, remaining Rain genin who had started to run away in a panic as his sand returned to his gourd. "I didn't even get to finish the rest of them."

He started to immediately rise up on his sand and flowed forward, following the direction the kunai had come from. Immediately, his sand was blocking more of the falling kunai, and brushing them aside, carelessly. As he passed Kankuro, the sand grabbed hold of the boy and his puppet and pulled them with him.

"I will not fail because you and Temari were too careless to avoid her capture," Gaara said without an ounce of emotion in his voice. "I will make their blood feed my sand."

"Um, right... How about we just focus on getting Temari back first?" Kankuro asked hopefully as he nervously glanced at the sand he was caught up in.

The glare Gaara send him immediately made him shut up, and he couldn't help but feel a swell of pity for the Grass team stupid enough to piss his little brother off. Then again, they were stupid enough to piss him off, so, they had it coming. He just hoped that they were planning on trying to hold Temari hostage for their scroll.

Otherwise.. that would really be bad.

-o-o-o-

Hinata Hyuuga shivered as she watched the scene unfolding over the bushes and her own, terrified teammates. While everyone had been focused on the doomed Rain nin, several other figures had dropped down and made off with the Suna girl. Then she'd noticed how it looked like the girl had been hit over the head by her twin, who was promptly grabbed as soon as the original was unconscious.

Then the Suna girl was struck again as the fake Temari had been moved just enough to make a convincing show. The girl's teammate turned his head just late enough to miss the real Temari vanishing into the distance. For a moment, froze, uncertain as she split her attention between the rest of the Suna team and the group stealing the real Temari and the scroll she was carrying.

"Damn, that was close," Kiba Inuzuka said with a relieved sigh and a shake of his head. "That kid... damn. Talk about a damned monster."

"That was... I believe Shikamaru would call that troublesome," Shino noted as he quietly wiped away the cold sweat that had broken out across his face.

"I... T-they..." Hinata paused a moment, not sure what to say, before glancing at Kiba and Shino, then glancing in the direction Temari had been taken. "T-that wasn't the Suna girl. T-they took her that way."

As she pointed in the direction, Kiba frowned slightly, "Wait, but we just saw her getting taken... Genjutsu?"

"I do not detect any," Shino said with a frown as his brows knitted together.

"N-no," Hinata quickly shook her head. "They replaced her. They took the real one, with their scrolls, that way."

Hinata pointed in the appropriate direction. "They... didn't look like the Grass nin."

"... Someone is attempting to instigate a confrontation between the Suna team and that grass team," Shino frowned slightly. "A risky gambit, if it is discovered, the initiator would run the danger of being the target of both teams."

"Still looks like it's working though, doesn't it?" Kiba pointed out with a smirk.

"At least until the deception is discovered," Shino countered flatly.

"Well, maybe we should follow them and see what happens?" Kiba said challengingly.

"... Do you really want to risk getting caught by that Suna nin?" Shino asked with that same cold, flat tone.

"W-well, we could try to get their scroll?" Hinata offered quietly. "I mean... we just have to free her and they'll try to recapture her and...?"

As Hinata's voice trailed off Shino and Kiba glanced at each other, then back to Hinata, before Shino slowly tilted his head to the side. "Why? We already possess both scrolls necessary."

Hinata hung her head for a moment, before quietly nodding her head. "All right."

"Aw, come on, Shino! This way we could get rid of those scrolls and make sure there's that many less people we have to deal with! That was the whole reason we came over here, remember?!" Kiba grinned, ferociously at Shino, his eyes shining. "And, isn't in our best interests to make sure we have as little competition as possible?"

"... I lodge a formal protest at this," Shino stated simply before shaking his head.

"Yeah, yeah, it'll just look better for me when they find out about it!" Kiba grinned back at Hinata and gave her a thumbs up. "Show us where they went, Hinata! I'll pick up the trail from there."

Nodding quickly, Hinata took back to the trees, before leading them to where she'd seen Temari grabbed. "They grabbed her here then... went that way." Hinata pointed out in the direction.

Kiba took a good sniff of their air, before blinking in surprise. "Wait... What the hell?! Naruto?!"

Hinata's eyes immediately widened and they locked onto Kiba. "N-Naruto-kun was with them?"

"As far as I can tell..." Kiba sniffed again and then stared incredulously. "They were all him!"

"Clones," Shino stated simply and nodded his head, then frowned. "Though, I was unaware that clones could transform like that."

"We have to go make sure Naruto-kun is safe!" Hinata stated quickly, looking pleadingly at Kiba and Shino.

The pair exchanged glances, pausing a moment as they seemed to consider the situation.

"P-please?" The slight, hitching plead in Hinata's voice instantly caused their shoulders to slump as they nodded their heads.

"Very well," Shino agreed.

"Sure, Hinata," Kiba said with a nod.

"T-thank you!"

-o-o-o-

"Aw man, looks like we got company," One of the clones who was securing Temari noted with a grumble. "Wasn't Team 8 supposed to deal with... well, Team 8?"

Kiba, Shino and Hinata dropped down from the tree into the area directly in front of the the two figures.

"Naruto! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Kiba pratically shouted as he glared at the clones.

"Wha..." One of the clones blinked, still looking like a Rain.

"How did you know?!" The other clone picked up, staring incredulously at the boy.

"Ha! You idiot! You might look different, but your scent stays the same!" Kiba pointed straight at Naruto. "So, what the hell are you guys trying to pull off!?"

The clones glanced at each other again before looking back at Kiba. "What does it look like, genius?"

"... You're attempting to use the Suna kunoichi to practice your shibari techniques and slake your lusts on?" Shino asked.

Instantly the two clones swiveled their heads around and stared at Shino, jaws dropped.

"N-n-naruto-kun!" Hinata blushed a bright crimoson, unable to look at him. "Y-you, you wouldn't... ! That... that's such a, a... n-naughty thing to do!"

"We are not!" The clones immediately protested as one of them continued, "That's a gross misrepresentation of our appreciation of the female form!"

Everyone blinked for a moment, and stared at the clone who'd spoken, including the other clone as Shino then glanced at Kiba. "Are you sure he's Naruto?"

"I know I'm wondering now," the other clone agreed with a nod.

"Hey! Dammit! It was something the old man said to that one lady that one time!" the first clone clarified.

"Oh, right, I'd forgotten about that," the second one agreed with a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his head.

"Right, well, we're just kidnapping people and stealing their stuff so we make it to the next stage and they don't," the first clone stated and nodded his head firmly with arms crossed about his chest, "Get it right."

"You know, I like that idea, Naruto." Kiba agreed, before grinning ferally at the clones. "What about you, Shino?"

"It is reckless, and needlessly risky," Shino noted as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "It would be far easier to let Naruto take all the risk then steal everything from him and leave him to take all the blame."

"That was my point!" Kiba growled back at Shino.

"Of course it was," Shino agreed without even skipping a beat.

"It was!"

"Um, I don't think the boss would agree to that," the second clone noted as he glanced at his partner.

"Nope, can't say I see him as the type to go along with it, doesn't fit with the whole future Hokage image," the first agreed.

"Um, m-maybe we could just let them go?" Hinata asked hopefully.

"Sorry, we can't let that happen," A new voice said simply as a pair of Waterfall teams appeared in the trees above them.

"... Aw crap," Kiba said as his eyes widened and he hunched down into a defensive position.

It was then that a tagged kunai was thrown at the feet of team 8.

"Scatter!" Kiba said reflexively as he and the rest of his team all jumped away from the tag in different directions.

The tag waved limply in the air, doing nothing at all.

After a moment, Kiba blinked as he looked at the tag then up at the now empty branches, and over to the now empty area that the pair of Naruto clones had held the Suna Nin. "... Dammit! They must have been more Naruto clones!"

"So good of you to notice," Shino stated blandly, "Hinata, which direction did they go?"

Shino frowned slightly when he received no response and quickly looked around. "Hinata...?"

"... Oh, you have gotta be kidding me!" Kiba growled as he pointed towards where one of the "Waterfall" nin was waving cheekily at them with Hinata slung over his shoulder before bouncing away.

"Get back here with Hinata, you bastard!" Kiba shouted angrily as he started jumping after him, only to have the back of his jacket jerked back.

"Idiot, don't you remember how Naruto fooled the Suna team?" Shino said with a note of actual annoyance dripping into his voice. "We need to remain calm, we can easily pick up their scent again and..."

There was a quiet thudding sound of something hitting the ground not far from them.

Shino immediately froze as a quiet buzzing sound hit the edges of his senses a frighteningly familiar buzzing sound. "We... we need to go. Now."

"But, what about Hinata?" Kiba stared at Shino. "We need to find her!"

"Kiba, we need to go." Shino insisted with a hiss.

"But..." Kiba protested, before Akamaru suddenly began to bark, in a loud, panicked tone in agreement.

"We have to run, before they get us." Shino stated quickly pointed towards a swarm of large hornets the size of their thumbs.

"... Oh crap." Kiba knocked an early arrival off his arm and quickly began to run away from from the coming swarm. "I am going to kill Naruto for this! Can't you do some kind of bug technique on them!?"

"Those things eat kikaichu," Shino stated with a shudder. "We need to get away from them, quickly."

"Dammit! That bastard planned this! He suckered us!" Kiba growled as he tried to put as much distance as he could between them and the rapidly approaching swarm.

"We will have to be better prepared when we rescue Hinata," Shino agreed.

Running in the opposite direction, the group of clones all shuddered as the memories of their compatriot hitting the hornet nest when jumping back towards Kiba and Shino to try and distract them hit them.

Being stung simultaneously by several dozen angry giant hornets was not the kind of thing someone enjoyed experiencing. Still, they did feel kind of guilty about knocking Hinata out. She had tried to help them in the first stage after all.

Still, they had a mission to accomplish! And they'd make damned sure they accomplished it! They were Naruto Uzumaki after all!

-o-o-o-

Orochimaru was not pleased.

The Forest of Death was in a bedlam of chaos because apparently one of the genin teams were actually decent predators. The weak links in the majority of the teams had been kidnapped. Generally the kidnappings had taken place under the guise of one of the teams that had seemed to be chosen at random.

Normally, such an action would have been something that garnered his attention.

The problem was, they had used his current disguise's appearance to do a number of those kidnappings.

Further complicating things, was the fact that some how, almost all the teams had been lead into some kind of insane melee. The vast majority of the teams participating in the second stage were here, including the ichibi jinchuuriki who was under the impression he'd been the one to kidnap his teammate. And apparently stolen the scroll to go along with it.

Still, he could have dealt with those things, even applauded them. It's not like even the impressive abilities of the boy were truly a threat to him.

No, the real problem was that with all of the teams participating, Sasuke Uchiha's team wasn't among them. Even Kabuto's team seemed to have been dragged in, but, none of the three rookie teams were anywhere to be seen.

That just wouldn't do.

Still, he couldn't just slaughter them all. One or two little teams were fine, but enough of them? Especially the Rain teams, that meant potentially upsetting Pein. That in turn, meant turning Akatsuki's attention more fully onto him.

"Still..." He dodged out of the way of several whips of sand and frowned deeply. He couldn't let this particular bit of annoyance go quite unpunished. Konoha would know he was here soon enough, which left...

With a smirk, he twisted and flowed around the sand again, before vanishing into the mud.

All around the arena, scrolls simply vanished, disappearing with a sinewy slip of fingers as an arm would emerge from the mud. An instant later, in a flash of motion, a scroll would vanish. Most of the affected genin were completely caught unaware.

Gaara tried to crush his hand.

It wasn't really a close thing, but it was still cute that he thought he could get away with it. If he wasn't a psychotic jinchuuriki, he might've even been interested in seeing if he'd survive the cursed seal. Still, a bit too unstable and independent for his tastes.

Now, to see if he could find Sasuke before he ran out of time.

-o-o-o-

Naruto rubbed his hands together and chuckled as he watched the growing pile of girls settled into middle of the interwoven scrolls and grinned triumphantly.

"... Naruto, you idiot, what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke's voice cut in as he landed just an instant after the clones carrying a now unconscious Sakura did.

"... Winning the exam?" Naruto asked rhetorically as he grinned madly.

"How the hell is this supposed to win us the exam?" Sasuke demanded as he gestured to the unconscious girls piled in the middle of the unfurled scrolls. "We still haven't even gotten both scrolls yet!"

For a moment, Naruto blinked, then pointed towards a nice, neatly stacked pile of scrolls next to him. "I already got plenty doing this."

Sasuke stared for a moment before pinching his nose. "Fine, but we still have to get to the tower, and there are going to be plenty of teams looking for us and..."

"Um, actually I think most of them are busy," Naruto said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "You see, I was trying to keep everyone running around, and well..."

"Well, what?!" Sasuke demanded, feeling his temper slipping dangerously tight.

"It turns out I didn't realize all my clones were leading everyone to the same spot?" Naruto said with a sheepish grin. "So, it looks like almost everyone's busy with some kind of big, battle royale."

"How the hell do you know that?" Sasuke demanded, staring at Naruto suspiciously.

"Oh, I remember it from..." Naruto blinked, then blinked again. "Huh. How did I remember what my clones did?"

"... You remember what your clones did," Sasuke repeated as he stared at Naruto, his face incredulous.

"I... guess?" Naruto blinked again. "Huh, that's funny. Never really noticed that before."

"... You are such an idiot," Sasuke growled, before throwing a kunai at the clones carrying Sakura, dispersing them both after a moment and making them drop Sakura to the ground.

"Hey! That hurt, dammit!" Naruto whined softly as he glared back at Sasuke.

"You sure as hell aren't putting her in there with the rest of them. For all we know, you made that into some kind of gigantic explosive tag!" Sasuke said with a snapping glare. "We need her alive and fine!"

"Oh," Naruto blushed brightly as he scratched the back of his head. "I didn't think about that."

"... I find that so thoroughly surprising," Sasuke said sarcastically and shook his head with a grunt. "... Are you actually going to try to activate that thing?"

"That was the idea," Naruto agreed as he rubbed his hands together.

"... I'm going to go over here, with Sakura," Sasuke said simply, before frowning as he picked up the scrolls. "And the scrolls."

"Bah, just you wait, it'll be awesome!" Naruto said simply with a made grin on his face as he cut his hand on a kunai just as Sasuke had grabbed Sakura and moved behind a nearby tree. "Dammit! I told you it would be awesome!"

"... You're an idiot, I'm fully expecting this to blow up everything in the area, except, you. I'm not lucky enough for it to take you with it," Sasuke shot back from behind the tree.

"Asshole! Just watch!" Naruto turned back to the scroll and slammed his hand down on an empty section after a couple of quick hand signs. "SEAL!"

Deep in the bowels of the seal, the Kyuubi's eyes snapped open as suddenly he could feel every ounce of his chakra suddenly being syphoned off at an alarming rate. A sudden swell of panic reached into it, as it felt itself dwindling, it's substance shrinking, it's muscles atrophying. There was no chance to resist, no chance to struggle. It was suddenly, simply gone.

In the outside world, there was a sudden flare of chaotic, pulsing swirls of yellow and crimson chakra that infused first the scroll in front of Naruto, then sprang out, arching like lightning onto the others before closing the circle surrounding the pile of unconscious kunoichi.

Sasuke was forced to cover his eyes as the explosion of chakra illuminated the forest, rising like a pillar up into the skin in a maddening twist of yellow and crimson. He could literally feel the power saturating the air, a dense rolling sensation that washed over him, forcing him down, pushing him to his knees as he stared wide eyed back at Naruto. The sheer power was simply insane.

Then, there was a flash of brilliant orange light. Immediately, Sasuke was forced to look away, feeling the wave of power surging up even higher then suddenly coming to a final culmination that rolled over everything in the area.. When it faded, Naruto wobbled for a moment, then fell back on his ass.

In front of him the pile of girls and the overlain scrolls were gone. In their place, a single scroll, the same size as the forbidden scroll he'd stolen at Mizuki's insistence rested silently before him. Naruto stared at it for a moment, sweat dripping off his face, before grinning broadly.

"HA! I told you I was awesome!" Naruto turned his head and grinned, maniacally back at Sasuke.

"You survived, wonderful," Sasuke said flatly as he glared at Naruto. "Now, let's get the hell out of here!"

"But...!" Naruto started to protest as he wobbled lightly and slowly started to push himself up.

"Naruto, you just lit up the whole forest. Everyone is going to know where we are. We need to go," Sasuke growled at him. "If I have to carry Sakura..."

"I..." Naruto wobbled about and stumbled over to the scroll as he grinned back at Sasuke. "But it was so awesome!"

"... You are such an idiot," Sasuke said simply, even if he did have to agree with Naruto. "Let's go already."

"Right..." Naruto grabbed the scroll as he continued to grin stupidly back at Sasuke, his eyes half crazed as he hugged it tightly to his chest. "I am so, so awesome."

"... I'm going to have to carry Sakura, aren't I?" Sasuke said rhetorically as he eyed his less than lucid teammate.

Naruto only seemed to giggle in response as he stroked the scroll.

Sasuke quickly brought Sakura onto his back, using an exertion of chakra to stick her in place before glancing at Naruto. "Dammit, come on already! We need to get to the tower!"

"We do?" Naruto blinked, owlishly at Sasuke as he paused his stroking of the scroll and stared back at his teammate with blank, unseeing eyes.

"Yes, Naruto, we do," Sasuke said with a growl. "Now, come on!"

"Ok!" Naruto said with another, drunken giggle as he hauled up the scroll and woozily began to move in the direction of the tower.

Sasuke himself fought down the urge to growl as he made certain to slap a couple of explosive tags on the on each side of the clearing, before activating them as he moved after Naruto.

They'd managed to go perhaps 20 yards before the tags exploded, causing Naruto to jump, stop, and laugh. "BOOM!"

"Yes, Naruto, boom," Sasuke agreed ,before pointing in the direction of the tower. "Now, tower."

"But... boom!" Naruto said almost petulantly.

"I'm sure you'll get plenty of chances for boom at the tower," Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"More boom at tower?" Naruto repeated woozily.

"You won't know if you don't get there."

"Tower, boom!" Naruto agreed with a grin as he tried to jump up onto a branch, only to smash his face into the tree and fall back onto his ass. "Ow."

"Fine, we'll stick to the ground, just... come on," Sasuke said as he tugged firmly on Naruto's arm and pulled him in the right direction.

"Onwards!" Naruto agreed as he held tightly onto his scroll. "The world... will see, my awesome!"

Sasuke could only feel the urge to bang his head against the tree until he lost consciousness grow to a just slightly controllable impulse.

-o-o-o-

Orochimaru wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry at the moment.

When he'd seen the massive eruption of power, tinged with the tell tail crimson of the Kyuubi's chakra, he'd known exactly where he needed to go to most likely catch up with Sasuke. It had been child's play to arrive at the site before anyone else could break away from the little mock battle. The Forest of Death had stopped being a problem for him decades ago.

Only, as soon as he reached the still smoking remnants of whatever it was that had happened, he'd make a critical and crucial mistake.

He'd opened up his senses to try and get a sense of what had happened.

Immediately he'd been ovewhelmed by the sheer overload of input coming from the chakra infused environment. Much like when the kyuubi had been unleashed on Konoha over a decade before, the elements were infused with an overwhelming surge of lingering demonic chakra. Only, on top of it was the thick, potent churn of the only a bit less potent Uzumaki chakra.

When both slammed into his senses, his world dissolved into a twisting swirl of vertigo. A hard wash of euphoria mingled with it, blasting into his thoughts, scattering them as his emotions suddenly became muted and distant. Distantly he knew he was suffering from an over saturation of chakra input, a condition that only more skilled ninjas suffered from when they attempted to open up the extra chakra senses they'd developed during or after a bijuu attack.

It was still difficult to actually organize his thoughts well enough to act on that understanding though. He was having enough trouble just forcing his feet to walk in one direction to get away from the affects. He just wanted to... study the affects a bit more. Yes, that was it, study them.

It took him the better part of an hour to wander his way out of the field of influence the chakra field and to remove enough of the field's influence to properly free himself from it's influence. When he had done it, he cursed softly as he looked around and found he had no idea just where he was. It was still so hard to concentrate

And to make matters worse, he had no idea where to find Sasuke. Somehow , someway, he'd been out played. He wasn't sure how, but he had.

He still didn't know if that made him want to laugh or cry.

All he knew, was that somehow, someway, someone was going to pay for this.

He was going to make damned sure of it.

-o-o-o-

"... Aw FUCK! DAMN YOU, NARUTO!" Kiba snarled as he stared at what had to be ground zero of whatever it was Naruto had done, and more specifically at where Akamaru was tumbling and tripping around as he tried to chase his own tail.

Shino swayed back and forth, his kikaichu floating lazily around his body in a light, hazy cloud. "Language, Kiba."

"This is so, so not cool," Kiba whined softly as he stared longingly in the direction he could smell Naruto had vanished in, before glancing back at his utterly disabled partner and teammate.

"Very warm!" Shino agreed before tilting his head to the side. "We could strip."

"... wha...? NO!" Kiba immediately protested.

"... Why not?" Shino asked in confusion as he paused in his struggle to undo the fastens of his jacket.

"No, no we wouldn't!" Kiba quickly shook his head as he pulled Shino's hands away from his jacket.

"But..." Shino's brow knitted even tighter in confusion.

"NO!"

"You're no fun," Shino said simply as he stared back at Kiba as Akamaru paused in his chase long enough to bark in agreement before resuming his chase.

"I'm no fun? I'm the one who'd no fun?! You're the KING of No Fun!" Kiba yelled, before rubbing his face as he looked around. "It's... gotta be something in the air. Ok. Back the way we came then."

"Why? I find this place quite… pleasant." Shino said, with a buzzing agreement of his kikaichu as Akamaru finally fell down and rolled onto his back, staring up at the canopy. "Very warm and fuzzy."

"... Warm and fuzzies are bad here!" Kiba said quickly. "Very, very bad!"

"... They are?" Shino furrowed his brow in confusion. "You sure?"

"Yes! Very sure!" Kiba agreed quickly. "We need to go, NOW!"

"But..."

"Now!"

"Fine, you're such a stick in the mud, Kiba," Shino said with a slight irritation before he began to drunkenly walk back the way they'd come, only to suddenly turn a full 90 degrees to his right and try to walk up a tree.

Unfortunately, his chakra control was apparently severely lacking and as Kiba picked up a whining Akamaru, he kept putting his feet up the tree trunk, and then having them slip off when he tried to take a step.

"... Oh, I am so, so going to kill you, Naruto," Kiba said with a soft growl as he moved to help his teammate get away from the area to recover.

-o-o-o-

"Boom?" Naruto asked hopefully, still hugging tight against the scroll tightly as he stared hopefully at Sasuke.

Sasuke ignored Naruto for a moment, staring up at the message above them, before frowning lightly as he looked at a pair of scrolls in his hands. Sighing softly, he turned, almost as if he was about to hand it to Naruto. Then, he seemed to change his mind as he reached down and shook Sakura.

"Sakura, wake up."

"You said boom," Naruto half whined as he pouted back at Sasuke.

"Wake up, Sakura," Sasuke hissed as he shook Sakura a bit more firmly until she began to groan and her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Ugh... Wha...? Sasuke-kun?" Sakura groaned softly as her eyes fluttered open. "I... NARUTO!"

"Boom?" Naruto asked hopefully as he kept the scroll clutched tightly to his chest, before staring at Sakura's face, before nodding his head. "Sakura-chan boom."

Sasuke's lips twitched, just slightly. "Maybe later. Right now, I need you to help me by opening this scroll."

Sakura's eyes widened as she stared at the Heaven scroll handed to her. "Wait, but.. what?! They told us we weren't supposed to open the scrolls!"

"They told us not to open them before we got to the tower," Sasuke reminded her as he held up an Earth scroll.

"You got an Earth scroll!?" Sakura practically squealed. "You're so awesome, Sasuke-kun!"

"Actually, all of these scrolls..." Sasuke gestured to the small pile of scrolls he'd left on the ground near them.

"Oh, wow, you're absolutely amazing!" Sakura's eyes lit up in worship as she stared at him. "And to have rescued me from that idiot Naruto!"

"... Were gathered by Naruto," Sasuke finished flatly as he shook his head in irritation. "That idiot was the one who got all of them, and got the rest of the teams all fighting each other."

"Wait, what?!" Sakura stared at Sasuke, eyes wide. "But, but... he's an idiot!"

"Sakura-chan, mean," Naruto pouted lightly as he flopped down and huffed.

"I mean... look at him," Sakura stated simply as she gestured at Naruto.

"I am," Sasuke stated simply as he frowned, remembering the display Naruto had released when he'd created the scroll he held so tightly. "I finally am."

"Then you can see what kind of idiot he is!" Sakura huffed back.

"No, Sakura, I can..." Sasuke paused a moment, before grimacing in disgust as he gave her a look of pure, cold, loathing. "Never mind, just open your scroll so we can end this."

"But..." Sakura flinched back at the look he gave her.

"Open your scroll," Sasuke said flatly as he prepared to open up his own.

Wordlessly Sakura nodded her head, and couldn't bring herself to look at Sasuke as she unfurled her scroll as he unfurled his.

When they began to react, Sasuke quickly shouted out. "They're for some kind of summoning! Toss them away!"

Both Sakura and Sasuke tossed their scrolls in front of them and jumped back as a sudden explosion of smoke blocked their view.

"Boom!" Naruto shouted agreeably before laughing as he clapped his hands together.

The smoke immediately began to dissipate, leading to the revelation of the familiar figure of one Iruka Umino, their Academy instructor.

"Congratulations, you're the first team to arrive!" Iruka stated simply, before frowning slightly as Naruto giggled and waved at him from where he rocked against his scroll. "... Naruto, are you all right?"

"Biiiiiig boom, with pretty lights. So, so awesome!" Naruto nodded his head enthusiastically with a giggle.

"He did... something. In the forest," Sasuke said with what looked like an almost worried glance towards Naruto. "That big light show. When he finished... he's been like this ever since."

"That was Naruto?" Iruka said with a blink, his eyes wide. "That... What did he do?!"

"What light show?!" Sakura half demanded as she stared at Sasuke.

"How could you miss it? We could see it even outside the forest," Iruka asked in confusion. "Surely if Naruto did it..."

"She was unconscious at the time," Sasuke said simply.

Sakura scowled back at Naruto. "He knocked me out!"

"If he hadn't, you'd have probably tried to hit him and ruined things," Sasuke said with a snort as he crossed his arms about his chest.

"... Where did Naruto get that scroll?" Iruka asked suddenly as he noticed the massive item Naruto was hugging tightly to his chest.

"Can we please get him checked out, first? He's acting like even more of an idiot that he usually does and I want to make sure this isn't permanent," Sasuke suddenly said as he glared lightly at Iruka and Sakura.

"Right," Iruka shook his head, "I'll go get... I'll get your teacher and then alert the medic nin, bring Naruto into the tower."

Sasuke nodded as he then walked over and picked up the small pile of scrolls Naruto had collected.

Upon seeing them, Iruka blinked lightly and stared at the boy in disbelief. "You managed to gather that many scrolls? In so little time? That's certainly impressive."

He grunted softly and shook his head. "I didn't. Naruto did."

Iruka blinked and stopped for a moment as he stared back at Sasuke, "... Really?"

"Weren't you going to get Kakashi-sensei and some med nins?" Sasuke asked in irritation.

"Right!" Iruka colored lightly as he nodded his head and quickly vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Come on, Naruto, we need to get inside," Sasuke said simply as he gave his teammate a look.

"... More boom?" Naruto asked hopefully as unsteadily wobbled back to his feet.

"Maybe," Sasuke agreed as he noticed just how tired Naruto looked, his eyes sunken in and baggy, his eye lids drooping a bit.

"Want boom," Naruto said stubbornly.

"I know," Sasuke paused a moment, his lips twitching just a bit. "Maybe we can blow Sakura up."

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura gasped, half outraged, half fearful as she stared at him.

"Sakura boom, bad," Naruto shook his head quickly as he cringed a bit away from Sakura.

"A pity," Sasuke said with a completely straight face.

A few moments later, they found themselves at an open, indoor arena, standing next to a set of stands. A pair of statues on either end of the arena were distanced by a simple dirt floor. A simple railing distanced the spectator stands from the edge, with a set of stairs leading down.

It was there that Kakashi met them.

"Ah, hello, my wonderful, talented, cute little students who just made me so much money!" Kakashi greeted cheerfully as he rubbed his hands together happily. "How can your much wealthier and beloved sensei help you today?"

"... Kakashi boom?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Instantly Kakashi vanished in a swirl of leaves, and reappeared a good 20 feet distance from them, a look of carefully controlled wariness in his face as he eyed Naruto like he had suddenly turned into a hungry tiger. "... Ok, how did Naruto manage to pick up chakra exhaustion in just a few hours?"

"Chakra exhaustion? But..." Sakura looked confused. "When you got chakra exhaustion you couldn't even move! And why'd you jump back there, sensei?"

"And that's how chakra exhaustion works for 99.999 and probably a good bit further, percent of the population," Kakashi agreed quickly. "That's not how it works for Uzumaki."

"Uzumaki?" Naruto perked up and looked expectantly at Sasuke. "Boom time?"

"No!" Kakashi said quickly and shook his head. "No boom time!"

"... No boom time?" Naruto's eyes seemed to tremble and glisten as he turned his gaze into Kakashi and stared, his lower lip trembling.

"Naruto's the cause of the big... light show earlier. He's been like this ever since," Sasuke said simply. "He's been like this ever since."

"... How much of the forest has he blown up since then?" Kakashi asked with a look of resignation on his face.

"None," Sasuke responded simply.

Instantly Kakashi's eyes widened in horror. "None...? He hasn't blown... anything up yet?"

"Not a thing," Sasuke agreed with a nod.

"... Oh, that's not good," Kakashi watched Naruto as he continued to clutch tightly on his scroll and giggled lightly. "Wait... where did he get that?"

"The scroll? Sasuke-kun wouldn't say," Sakura piped up quickly.

"My awesome!" Naruto clutched tighter on the scroll as his eyes flared maniacally. "Mine!"

Kakashi stared at Naruto for a moment, before slowly looking at Sasuke and then Sakura. "... This is either very, very good, or oh sweet kami, whyyyyyy bad."

"How bad could it be, sensei?" Sakura asked innocently.

"... I've seen an Uzumaki go into chakra exhaustion 3 times in my life. The first time, Kumo had an entire division of troops blown into oblivion. The second time, they created a seal that made it snow in the middle of summer, and refused to let anyone touch it until they'd gotten their senses back. The third time... it took almost everyone my age a week before they could grow their eyebrows back."

"Well, this is Naruto, so, what's the worst that could happen?" Sakura half shrugged her shoulders.

"... All three of those incidents, the Uzumaki involved was his mother," Kakashi said simply as he continued to watch Naruto warily. "So, he's either holding onto an explosive capable of leveling all of Konoha, or he's got a seal in that's so insane, it's unnatural."

Sakura paled dramatically as Sasuke glanced over at Naruto. "Naruto?"

"... Boom time?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Awesome go boom?" Sasuke asked simply.

Naruto's look of horror said it all as he shook his head violently and clutched the scroll tighter. "NO! No boom awesome! My awesome! Mine!"

"I don't think it's a bomb, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke said simply with a shrug.

"Right, so insane seal, crazy enough to offset his desire to make things explode," Kakashi nodded his head quickly and seemed to relax a slight bit, before frowning lightly. "Wait... who taught Naruto how to make seals?"

Sakura and Sasuke both seemed to shrug in response.

Kakashi quickly paled again. "Oh... This is... Right."

"But.. this is Naruto!" Sakura protested quickly.

"We were told your team needed medical treatment, Kakashi-san?" A polite voice spoke up as a group of medical nin suddenly appeared behind him. "What seems to be the problem?"

"... I've got an Uzumaki with chakra exhaustion," Kakashi said simply as he gave Sakura a light glare and then turned to look at the various med nin.

The two senior members immediately paled, as one glanced nervously at Naruto. "You have gotten rid of his explosive tags, right?"

"Sasuke took my boom," Naruto affirmed with a pout and a light glare at Sasuke.

"I didn't want to be boomed," Sasuke said flatly.

"No fair," Naruto huffed lightly. "Sasuke boomed and then took my boom."

"No way in hell I was letting him boom again," Sasuke said flatly. "You got your huge boom, remember?"

"Awesome, not boom!" Naruto hissed vehemently.

"... Uzumaki Chakra exhaustion?" One of the younger medic nin asked warily as he looked at Naruto coldly. " How is it different from regular chakra exhaustion?"

"They're Uzumaki," one of the elder's grunted. "Their body's are too damned stubborn to shut down, so instead, generally only the simplest cognitive functions remain... Typically, they orient entirely around making things explode."

"Boom!" Naruto agreed with a light cackle.

"Case in point," the med-nin said simply and gestured to Naruto. "As long as no one gives them any explosive tags or leaves them near brush and chakra paper, they're generally harmless. If someone will give him a soldier pill, it should knock him right out."

"But... soldier pills are designed to stimulate..." Sakura spoke up in confusion.

"Generally, yes, but with Uzumaki, they supply just enough chakra to trick their bodies into realizing they should sleep now," he said with a shrug before pulling out a pill. "The only trick is getting them to actually take it."

"No pill, boom!" Naruto agreed again with a frown.

"Well, Sasuke, Sakura, as your team leader it falls on me to do this," Kakashi smiled at them both. "I hereby order you both to get Naruto to take his pill."

Sakura blinked a moment and stared back at Kakashi. "What?! But isn't it your responsibility as our sensei to see to our well being?!"

"Yes, but this isn't a matter of life or death, so I'm regulating the duty to you too," Kakashi said reasonably. "Think of it as training."

"That's not training! That's baby sitting! You heard Sasuke-kun! He's out of tags, what're you so afraid of? He's just Naruto!" she argued back.

"Exactly, he's Naruto. As in Naruto Uzumaki," Kakashi agreed with a sage nod. "And he is most definitely his mother's son."

Sasuke only glanced at the two for a moment, as they continued to bicker back and forth, before taking the soldier pill from the soldier walking over to Naruto and giving him a glare. "Pill. Now."

"Nu uh!" Naruto shook his head, mouth clamping shut.

"Pill or Awesome go boom."

"... Boom my Awesome?" Naruto's eyes trembled as he stared back at Sasuke.

"And you wouldn't even get to watch," he said with a nod.

"But, but, but... My Awesome No Boom!"

"Then Pill," Sasuke said simply.

Naruto pouted back at Sasuke, giving him a look of utter betrayal, before reluctantly opening his mouth. Sasuke lightly flicked the pill into said mouth, before crossing his arms about his chest. "Swallow."

Making a face, Naruto made a show of doing just that, before sullenly glaring at him for a moment. Nodding his head, Sasuke glanced over at the blinking rest of his team and med-nin. "What? I dealt with him like that for the last hour."

Naruto suddenly wobbled a moment, took a step, then fell forward, landing against Sasuke and some how managing to knock the both of them down as he began to snore atop him.

"Well, that's one way of dealing with things," Kakashi noted with a bright smile and a nod of his head.

"Will someone get this idiot off me?" Sasuke said irritably as he looked around, before blushing slightly as he saw the position Naruto had managed to get them into. "Now?"

"S-sasuke-kun... and Naruto... and..." Sakura blushed brightly as a slight drip of blood appeared at her nose, and her eyes glazed over.

"Oh, well now that's going to be an interesting development," Kakashi said with a bright smile before giggling lightly as he shook his head. "Sasuke, who knew? Your forbidden love of your team mate!"

The slight drip of blood exploded out of Sakura's nose as she fell back and fainted into unconsciousness.

"... I so, so hate you," Sasuke growled out as he glared back up at Kakashi.

"What's that, my cute little student? You want to volunteer to do a whole week of D-ranks at the retirement homes as soon as the exam is over? May the kami be praised at your selflessness," Kakashi clapped his hands together and bowed to his student.

"... I'm sure there are a number of interns that would be thanking you for you volunteering, Uchiha-san," one of the med-nin's said with a completely straight face. "Why, the smell alone..."

"Hakate-san, wouldn't that mean that Uzumaki-san would be doing those D-ranks as well?" one of the elders said delicately.

"Yes, is there some... issue with that, medic-san?" Kakashi smiled a tight, dangerous smile back at the man.

"... I was merely going to point out that he is, in fact, an Uzumaki, and one already known for his pranking tendency," the man said simply. "And the fact that the Hospital implemented a No-Uzumaki for D-Ranks policy after Kushina-san's little... tantrum."

"Then I'm sure Sasuke-kun here will be volunteering for something equally... selfless."

Sasuke glared back at Kakashi for a long moment, before suddenly just grinning up at his teacher. It was not a pleasant grin. In fact, Kakashi had to admit, he couldn't recall an Uchiha's grin ever disturbing him like that.

It was an odd mix of Obito, Kushina, and Naruto all rolled into one.

And it sent a shiver of dread down his spine.

"... Was there something you wanted to say, Sasuke?" he didn't really want to ask, he really truly didn't, but..

"Oh, I was just thinking... I'm the only one who witnessed whatever it was that Naruto did to drain himself like that," Kakashi immediately felt his stomach get uncomfortably heavy, "And, wasn't he listening to me while he was like that?" The heaviness suddenly grew. "Why... if he gets in a state like that again... Why, who knows what could happen if I'm not able to... keep him properly.. directed?"

"That, my cute little Uchiha-kun, was evil, vindictive and utterly sadisticly creative," Kakashi said with a bright smile. "I, and I'm sure Naruto does as well, approve."

There was a pause, before his eye suddenly gleamed. "But if you even think about trying to pull something like that on me, I will wreck a bloody vengeance upon you the likes of which has not been seen since the Reign of the Bloody Habenero. Am I clear?"

The two older med-nin shivered in unison as one took pity on the confused looking Sasuke and spoke. "It's a bad thing. Trust me. It would be a very, very bad thing."

"That's nice... now would someone please get Naruto off me?" Sasuke asked with a return of irritation.

"What, before I have the chance to take photos?!" Kakashi asked, looking completely offended at the very thought.

Sasuke's expression was less than pleased.

-o-o-o-

Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage of Konohagakure stared at the assembled chunin, jounin, and various members of the ANBU forces as he took a moment to collect himself before he slowly spoke again. "So, you're telling me that out of the 26 teams that were entered into the Chunin exams, only 1 team managed to complete the test?"

"Yes, Sir," Anko agreed as she sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "I mean... We've never had that kind of problem with the test before! We've run it plenty of times!"

"And this was confirmed by the tally of scrolls collected by the winning team, as well as those we confirmed as destroyed," Anko agreed with a nod of her head. "There simply aren't any matched pairs left in play to allow any of the other teams to advance."

"... Was the team that passed, by any chance Kakashi's Team?" Sarutobi asked, a familiar sensation starting to pulse at the back of his eyes.

"Yes, Sir," Anko agreed with a nod.

"And do we have any further information on what that pillar of chakra was?" Sarutobi asked patiently.

"No, Sir," this time is was Ibiki Morino speaking up. "Uzumaki remains unconscious at this time, and Uchiha remains adamant that he has no clue what Uzumaki did, only that it resulted in the creation of the scroll he refuses to release despite being unconscious, and coincides with the still missing kunoichi."

"... Wonderful," Sarutobi sighed and slowly rubbed his face in annoyance, "And any sign of Orochimaru?"

"He apparently reached the site of the chakra incident," Tsume Inuzuka spoke up, before chuckling softly. "Then he apparently spent an hour or so wandering aimlessly around. Based on what Kiba said Akamaru and Shibi's boy Shino experienced, I imagine he got a major blast of it himself."

Reaching down into his desk, the Hokage produced a small bottle of sake and and cup, before pouring himself a generous portion and taking a slow, long sip of it to calm his nerves. "I see. We do still have the release forms, yes?"

"Right here, boss," Anko agreed as she carefully set them down onto the desk.

"Good, good," he nodded his head and took a sip of sake after he spoke. "Well, that deals with the foreign shinobi, even if we hadn't had domestic teams affected. Mmm..."

"Sir, what about our missing genin?" Kurenai asked as she stared back at the quietly drinking man.

"We will have to wait for Naruto to awaken for that," he said helplessly and shrugged.

"... Then what's going to be done to him?" Kurenai couldn't help but ask, immediately drawing every pair of eyes onto her.

Sarutobi stilled a moment as he paused his cup just before his lips, before tilting his head to the side. "... Done, Yuuhi-san? Are you trying to imply that Naruto did something that broke the rules?"

"Sir, he targeted Konoha shinobi as well as..." Kurenai spoke up in protest.

"Anko," he said quietly, cutting off Kurenai's protest in the middle. "Tell me, what were the rules of the exam?"

"Um, there weren't any?"Anko stated simply as she glanced, nervously towards Kurenai.

"And what disqualified a team from the exam?" he continued, his eyes still staring back at Kurenai.

"Um, one of your teammates being unable to finish the exam, not arriving at the tower with your full team, and trying to open a scroll before reaching the tower," Anko listed off.

"And were there any limitations on how someone could disqualify another team? Or, any limitations on who they could target?"

"No, Hokage-sama."

"Asuma," he said as he shifted his attention to his son. "Did you tell your students they were not to target Konoha shinobi in any of the stages?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Asuma admitted with a grimace.

"Gai?"

"No, Hokage-sama, I did not," Gai Maito said with a frown.

"Yuuhi-san? Did you tell your team they couldn't target other Konoha shinobi?" Sarutobi asked pointedly as he stared at the woman, who immediately bowed her head with a blush.

"No, Hokage-sama."

"Kakashi?"

"Nope," Kakashi shrugged his shoulders a bit. "No such order was given by me."

"So, please, do explain to me, Yuuhi-san, exactly why Naruto would be punished for following the rules?" he paused for a moment, taking another slow sip of his sake. "And in fact, did so in such a way that completely eliminated the competition from the equation?"

"I... apologize, Hokage-sama, I was mistaken," Kurenai murmured with a blush as she bowed her head.

"Or, perhaps you are telling me you were unprepared to lose a soldier to these exams?" Sarutobi asked in a bland tone of voice. "The kind of thing that happens quite often in these exams?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Kurenai's head bowed even deeper.

Sarutobi's face softened lightly before he shook his head. "I sympathize with your position, Yuuhi-san, I truly, do. However, Naruto would hardly be the first chunin prospect to eliminate people from his own village, either by intent or accident.

"Naruto played the game we set up for him. He played it more brilliantly than we imagined. He correctly deducted that the more teams in play, the more competition that his team would be forced to face when they reached the next stage."

He paused before he took another sip, finishing off the cup of sake entirely before setting it back down onto the desk. "Which puts us in quite a predicament. Kakashi, do you believe your team is ready to be chunin?"

"Mmm," Kakashi paused a moment as he seemed to consider the man's words thoughtfully as he tapped his chin. "Potentially yes, potentially no."

"I see," Sarutobi said as he lightly stroked his chin for a moment in thought. "Unfortunately, we cannot have a third stage with just a single team."

"And, putting Team 7 through another second stage wouldn't really be very unbiased," Kakashi pointed out quickly.

"As far as Team 7 is concerned, Naruto will already be receiving a chunin vest for his actions," Sarutobi sighed as he rubbed his face as he cut off a number of protests that had started to crop up. "No, I agree he isn't ready for it. However, it would be an insult to the other villages competing in the exam if the individual responsible for eliminating their teams, single handedly, wasn't promoted."

"There is also the fact that Uchiha was able to successfully do the impossible," one of the elder med-nin who'd arrived to help Naruto stated, "He was able to keep his teammate contained for an entire hour after the effects of the chakra exhaustion began, as well as convincing him to willingly take a soldier pill."

Sarutobi blinked at that, before looking, questioningly at Kakashi. "Truly?"

"He also made a vague and explicit threat about getting the Uzumaki exhausted again, and then about potentially unleashing him on Kakashi-san, when Kakashi-san refused to help him after his teammate had collapsed atop him," the med-nin said helpfully.

"It was so cute the way he came up with such a wonderfully vague threat about such very dreadfully specific things. Officially, there's no way I could actually pin it on him as a threat," Kakashi said as he mimed wiping a tear from his eye. "Obito would've been so proud!"

"Very well, Sasuke and Naruto will both be promoted to chunin," Sarutobi said with a nod of his head and a sigh. "Naruto has proven he has some skills worthy of being chunin. And I'm sure he would've made a fine showing at the finals. As it stands, the main thing holding him back is his lack of proper foresight."

"He also stole all our teams' kunoichi," Asuma muttered slightly with a shake of his head, "That's damned sneaky."

"Oh, my most youthful flower, Tenten! If I cannot rescue you, I will…!" Gai immediately began to shout before Sarutobi cut him off.

"Now is not the time, Gai," Sarutobi stated simply as he lightly rubbed his temples. "For now, we will see about organizing a new second exam with the remaining teams. "Was there any other matters to discuss?"

"Well, there is the matter of… the pool," Kakashi said with a bright smile as around him, the other jounin instructors groaned out. "My team was the only one that made it past the second stage after all."

Grumbling loudly, a number of the jounin and others began to slap money into Kakashi's hand. Smiling happily, Kakashi almost started to make a show of counting out the money, before noting the various looks coming his way. "I think… I'm going to go check on my team. Have a good day!"

"… They're only going to become more of a headache for the rest of us, aren't they?" Asuma asked rhetorically as he glanced at his father, the Hokage.

"You have no idea," Sarutobi stated simply as he poured himself another cup of sake. "You truly have no idea."

-o-o-o-

Naruto blinked in confusion as he found himself standing in what seemed to be a dried up sewer, only a trickle of water flowing through it, with hazy memories of how he got there. In fact, everything after he had performed the sealing in the forest was rather hazy. He was, however, rather certain that he hadn't gone into a sewer.

"YOU!"

He jumped lightly as he heard the voice, dripping with venomous anger roared out, echoing through the confines of the sewer.

"What?!" His own yell was more of surprise, and lacked the majority of the accusation's volume.

"What did you do?!" Angry, crimson eyes burned down at Naruto from behind a barred gate as a massive, almost skeletally thin fox glared at him, flesh lightly hanging loose from his frame.

"Wha… huh?" Naruto blinked a moment, then stared back at the creature for a moment. "Who the hell are you?"

"Brat! How dare you talk to me like that! After you almost killed us both!" the beast growled out as it slammed forward into the bars. "Stealing my power! Leaving me like this!"

"… Kyuubi?" Naruto asked half warily, half disbelievingly.

"WHAT OTHER BIJUU WOULD BE SEALED INSIDE OF YOU!?" the beast roared in rage, before angrily pacing about. "It was bad enough being sealed into the wife of that man's rival, it was bad enough being sealed in that woman that succeeded her.

"It was bad enough that I was put under the influence of those damned eyes again. It was bad enough that when I was finally, finally free, I was sealed up inside of a sniveling brat like you! But now, now you're trying to kill us both with your infinite stupidity!" the fox roared back at him as it lashed futilely at his cage.

"But… I didn't try to kill you?" Naruto offered hopefully.

"YOU STOLE ALMOST ALL OF MY CHAKRA! You drained yourself DRY! Do you have any idea what would have happened to you if you weren't an Uzumaki?!"

"Um… No?" Naruto answered honestly, still reeling from the beast's berating screams.

"YOU WOULD HAVE DIED!" the beast roared again. "And if you die, I die! Having my life tied to a worthless, foolish incompetent! Grrrr…! At least with your mother I didn't have to worry about dying with her when she was doing something so monumentally stupid!"

"Wha…?" Naruto blinked, then stared at the Kyuubi with a start. "My mother? What?!"

"What?" That brought the kyuubi up short for a moment before it slammed against the cage and glared at him. "No! I won't be distracted! That damned bastard of a father of yours bound my life to yours, and I'll be damned if I die in some pathetically misguided attempt for attention! I am the Kyuubi No Kitsune! I will not! Do you hear me I won't!"

"Wait, father…? But I thought the fourth sealed you in me?" Naruto stared back at the Kyuubi, blinking lightly in utter confusion.

"And of course, to make matters worse, you are beyond incompetent, unable to catch even the slightest nuance unless you have your face shoved in it like a pile of steaming excrement!" he stalked around the edge of the cage, snapping his jaws time and time again. "At least Mito was intelligent enough to hold a proper conversation when she wasn't being a snide little bitch and Kushina at least showed a modicum of intelligence.

"You, however, have taken everything even half way respectable about your parents and shat them back out."

Naruto stared back at the Kyuubi, struggling to process his words as they pounded down into his mind, before summarizing them as succinctly as he could, "Huh?!"

"Why I am not surprised with you standing there, mouth hanging open like an idiot?" There was another snarl and claws weakly clashed across unyielding bars. "Worthless waste of seed! Even if it would mean my death, I still might kill you where you stood if I could!"

"Hey! I'd like to see you try, you furry bastard!" Naruto yelled back, glaring angrily at the Kyuubi.

"Why, so I can watch you throw away your life in another bout of reckless stupidity? Even now, it hasn't sunk in just what it is you did," Kyuubi snarled in disgust as he glared back at the boy. "So, I'm forced to force into your thick, primitive skull just what it is your teachers failed to do."

"Why you piece of arrogant...!"

"SILENCE!" the roar shook Naruto from his feet, knocking him onto his ass as the boy continued to glare, defiantly at him before it slammed a claw down into the almost empty sewer. "As I doubt you would figure it out, even if I painted the picture for you, this is the base of your chakra system."

"What're you talking about, you stupid fox?! I have way more chakra than this!" Naruto glared back up at the kyuubi.

"That's exactly the point, you little idiot!" A claw was jabbed into the almost dry channel. "Em-pty! If it wasn't for you being an Uzumaki and them somehow getting a soldier pill in your stubborn mouth, you, would, be, DEAD!"

"But… I can't die yet! I haven't become Hokage yet!"

"… He hasn't become Hokage yet," Kyuubi repeated, staring at the boy for a moment, before suddenly roaring again, "BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BECOME HOKAGE YET?!"

"Err… yes?" Naruto blinked slightly in confusion as he stared up at the massive creature.

Immediately, the Kyuubi slammed his head into the bars and let out a screaming howl of outrage. "Stupid. Idiotic. Moronic. Imbecilic. Of course I had to be stuck with him! Guess what, you stupid little brat! You. Can. Die. Without ever coming even close to becoming Hokage!"

"Never!" Naruto declared adamantly

"Oh? You think you're the first shinobi to have that dream, hmm? You think you're the first to have that goal? Guess, hundreds have, of them are dead and feeding the crows and worms!" Kyuubi snapped at Naruto, growling again. "Normally, I'd be happy to let you go run straight onto one of those nice, pointy metal sticks you shinobi love so much.

"Unfortunately, thanks to that bastard, I'm stuck," Kyuubi snarled softly and glared back at the boy. "Stuck inside of a foolish creature from a clan stupid enough to get themselves wiped out. One who can't even understand that he almost just killed the both of us!"

There was a pause ignored the way the boy continued to glare right back at him. "What did you even do?!"

"Um… I just sealed up those girls?" Naruto blinked in confusion as he knitted his brows together. "Everything… gets kinda fuzzy after that."

"… Sealed up girls," Kyuubi repeated, staring at the boy. "What, you went and sealed up a harem of thousands at once?"

"It was only like 15 or so!" Naruto insisted. "I even used a bunch of extra scrolls to make sure there was plenty of room."

Immediately, something itched at the back of the Kyuubi's mind, something he couldn't quite put his claw on, but something that he just knew was damned important. But, unfortunately, he couldn't seem to figure out exactly what. He was rather certain he'd end up banging his head against the cell again when he did.

"And tell me, are you a trained in the arts of sealing, brat?" The dripping sarcasm left his thoughts on the matter rather apparent.

"Bah, who needs training? It's a buncha symbols and apply chakra to it and poof!" Naruto waved his hand dismissively.

"... A bunch of symbols, apply chakra and poof," the words were repeated with no small degree of disbelief, before visibly restraining itself from smashing its head into the bars of its cage again. "How, how in the name of the Sage, are you still alive?!"

"I'm just all kinds of amazing," Naruto said confidently.

Letting out a slight whimper of resignation, the mighty Kyuubi No Kitsune, strong enough to topple mountains and create tsunamis with a single swipe of his tail dropped his head down slumped. "... I'm doomed."

Naruto blinked, staring at the Kyuubi in confusion, "Huh? You should be happy!"

"... Happy, he says," Kyuubi refused to even look at the boy as he put a hand like paw up on his face. "I'm going to die, in the near future, in what I'm sure will be a particularly horrible fashion, and he wants me to be happy."

"Yup! You're going to be with me, all the way, to become the most awesome Hokage ever!" Naruto beamed back at him.

"..Doomed. Utterly doomed," the Kyuubi looked up into the dark ceiling. "Why, oh why are you punishing me like this?"

Naruto stared in confusion back at the Kyuubi, before suddenly the world seemed to darken then went black as he felt himself fully surrendering to unconsciousness.

-o-o-o-