A/N: Sorry about the delay in this story. I'm trying to concentrate on finishing my ofic this month. It's coming along. Anyway! Enjoy.

"Mercy, the dust is awful." Rosalie waved her hand in front of her face and coughed.

Victor, who was walking with the families that day, looked over his shoulder and flashed a wicked grin. "You ain't seen nothing yet, princess. Wait until the weather is drier. Dust gets so thick, can't see more than a few feet in front of you. Especially in the desert region."

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a glance. Bella cleared her throat and smiled coolly and Victor. "Something to look forward to, I suppose." She took each of the other women by the arm. "Come on. We'll see if Esme and Vera need a break from Peter and Henry."

The girls made their way to the other side of the wagon, away from Victor before the red-head could get going. If Bella found James unnerving, she found Victor downright irritating. He was often the wrong side of snide, and he seemed to delight in telling them how bad things could get on the trail. Bella supposed it could be considered useful information, but he didn't have to such an ass about it.

Edward was much better with such things. When he spoke of the trail, he was honest, but he made it seem bearable.

Not for the first time, Bella wondered what the trail was like for him when he was a young husband with an even younger wife.

"Peter! For heaven's sake." Alice rushed forward as they got around the other side of the wagon and scooped Peter up. She set him back down a safe distance from the wheels. "How many times do you have to be told to stay away from the wagon?"

The boy pouted. "I'm being careful."

"Not careful enough." Bella wagged a finger in his face. "Did you see the little girl they brought to Carlisle yesterday?"

Peter made a face. "I heard her carryin' on."

"With good reason. Her dress got caught, and she got grabbed right under the wheel. It about crushed her leg, poor thing. She's going to spend the whole rest of the trip in the wagon, and who knows if she'll walk again ever."

Peter's eyes were about to bulge out of his head. "It's lucky we have a doctor with us, huh?"

"Sure is," Rosalie said. "Still, there some things even Carlisle can't fix."

"But Carlisle is the best doctor ever."

"Not ever, young man." Carlisle caught up with them. He ruffled Peter's hair.

Alice and Bella looked on Carlisle and exchanged a glance. There was a heavy look in the man's eyes. He had been asked to visit a wagon somewhat further back on the trail. As one of two doctors—and James assured them even that was a rarity—Carlisle was called upon whenever a fellow emigrant was struck by a malady. From his expression, this last visit had not gone well.

"Peter. Go find Henry and make sure he's not getting into as much trouble as you are," Alice said. She squeezed Peter's shoulders and sent him on his way.

Bella fell in step beside Carlisle with Rosalie on his other side. "Do you wish to talk about it?" Bella asked.

The skin around his eyes tightened. "I shouldn't trouble you. It's not a polite topic of discussion."

Rosalie put her hand to his arm. "We aren't children, Carlisle. Unburden yourself."

He sighed. "I suppose not. The family had some trouble at the last river crossing. Their young man nearly drowned that day. He's been struggling, but today he succumbed."

They all four were quiet as they walked along together. "It was the first death, was it not? The first of our train."

"It is always unfortunate to lose a patient. That he was so young, barely twenty years old, was more of a tragedy." Carlisle paused as though debating with himself whether or not he should continue. "I know James told us what to expect, but what was most disconcerting was the idea his family will have to bury him and move on without much time to grieve."

Bella's throat was tight. "Victor told me some days ago, if someone in the party takes too long to die, they have been left behind by their families. What a terrible choice to make."

"He shouldn't have told you that." Carlisle shook his head. "I'll speak to James. His people shouldn't be talking about such things. It won't happen. Not to us."

Carlisle excused himself then to find his wife. Bella and the other girls were quiet as they walked along. It wasn't something he could promise, and they all knew it.

~0~

When they stopped for lunch, it was obvious Carlisle was dwelling on the loss of his young patient. Bella slipped a bit of the bacon Esme offered between a biscuit left over from breakfast that morning. She slipped her impromptu sandwich into her apron pocket and told Alice she wanted to take a walk.

"I think I hear a stream nearby. I'd like to wash my face," Bella said.

Alice laughed. "An exercise in futility, but if it pleases you. Don't wander too far."

Bella found the stream not far off the trail, but it was not her true destination. Since her small spat with Edward, he had often slipped some kind of plant or berry in her pocket. He would whisper some instruction about how she was to cook or eat it, wink at her, and then be gone again to attend to his duties.

As Bella searched the forest floor, trying to recognize the plants she saw, her thoughts strayed again to Edward. She had so many questions, but they hadn't had a chance to talk since the last time. The last time Edward had been walking with the families, Alistair had kept him busy with conversation of his own.

Who was to say. It was likely Edward only tolerated Bella's conversation. She was not a child, but he was a widower a decade her senior and a working man besides. What interest could he have in the prattle of a young woman? It also didn't escape Bella's notice that in polite society, a young, marriageable woman would not have been left alone with a man, particularly an unmarried man. Her cheeks flushed hot, and she wondered if she was being inappropriate. Surely though if he was uncomfortable, he would have asked Carlisle to speak to her by now.

Bella was distracted from these thoughts when she spied a bush and, better yet, what looked to be the same berries Edward had given her that first day. She set about plucking as many berries as she could from the bush. She filled her pockets and hoped she could bring a smile to Carlisle's face as Edward had to hers. The fare on the trail was nothing if not repetitive. A little variety would be most welcome.

When she had no more room in her pockets, Bella took one last palmful of berries. As she raised the bittersweet fruit to her lips, she heard the rush of quick footfalls. She turned her head in time to see an Edward-shaped blur coming toward her. He slapped at her hand, sending the bright berries flying to the ground.

"What in God's name are you doing?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake.

Startled, Bella answered him straight. "I… I wanted give them to Carlisle, that's all."

"Are you trying to get him killed? Are you trying to kill yourself? These are poisonous."

The fury written plainly on his face made Bella want to cringe, but she was irritated as well. She wrested herself from his grip and took several steps back. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you had no business being out here. As it is, many of the men are taking the time to hunt. Do you understand how easily you could have been mistaken for an animal and shot? I've seen it happen out here, Bella. You have to be more careful than that. I can't be expected to watch you every second of every day."

Tears sprang to Bella's eyes, and she blinked them away. She tended to cry when she was angry, and now she was livid. Livid and humiliated. By then, Edward had grabbed her by the arm again. He tried to draw her away, back toward the wagons. "Let me go. You can't manhandle me like that."

His eyes flashed as he turned to her. Bella stared defiantly back. She crossed her arms and held her chin high. Edward released a breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his look was calmer. "You're right. I shouldn't have touched you like that. You gave me a scare, is all, what with trying to eat poisonous berries." He rubbed the back of his neck and tilted his head in the direction he'd been dragging her. "Come this way. I have something to show you."

He turned and strode off. After a moment's hesitation, she followed. He led her only a short distance away. He picked up a line on which he had three dead rabbits. "I had you in my sights. I could have been the one who killed you. You need to be more careful."

The way he looked at her pinned her where she stood. She wasn't sure how to read his look, his expression. He was also standing startlingly close to her, and Bella was very aware of every inch of her skin.

His eyes gentled as he looked over her. "Come on then. James will leave us if we're late." He hitched the line of rabbits over his shoulder and headed for the forest's edge.

Bella followed behind him, emptying her pockets of the poison berries as she did. She stewed, uncertain and still irritated. "Was that how your wife died? A hunting accident?"

She regretted her question immediately as Edward's shoulders stiffened. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, you shouldn't have."

They walked back to the trail in silence.

~0~

Oxen were a strong, sturdy animals. They were easy to feed and were handy when wagon wheels got stuck in the mud. The trouble some emigrants faced was in the leading. Rather than drive the oxen from the wagon, a teamster would have to walk alongside them, calling out orders. It was a tedious task, and Edward didn't like the days it was his duty. He was relieved when the wagons were circled for the day.

Edward set about his tasks, unyoking the oxen and leading them to where they could graze for the night. When he was done, the smell of dinner was strong in the air. He glanced over to where the Cullens and Hales were gathering as they usually did.

He smiled as the two little Hale boys raced by him, their arms laden with the firewood they'd gathered. Just before dinner, Esme Cullen would call them close so she might keep up their schooling. Of late, a smattering of children from the other wagons were sent to join them.

But as it was not yet time for her lessons, Esme smiled brightly. She called his name to stop him from retreating to the smaller fire where James and the others had gathered. Edward waited as she caught up to him. "I wanted to thank you again for the rabbits you brought."

Edward tilted his hat. "Of course, ma'am. It was my pleasure."

"I can't help but notice you didn't save any for your own meal."

"No. Didn't get nearly enough game. Soon enough now we'll be running into more deer close enough to hunt. Might even get a bear or a moose. They have meat enough to feed us all for days at a time."

"Well. I think it's only right you should enjoy your own kill. Won't you join us for dinner?"

It wasn't the first time Edward had noted Esme was a difficult person to say no to. He tried, but the way she tilted her head, her look at once stern and hopeful, changed his tune right quick. "If it pleases you, ma'am."

"That it does. And please, for at least the twenty-fifth time, call me Esme."

He ducked his head and smiled. The woman made him ache for his mother. "Of course, Esme."

When it came time to eat, Edward kept his word. He went to where the conjoined family was gathered. Alice was standing by the fire, and she handed him a tin cup full of a thin-broth rabbit stew. His mouth watered, and he felt a thrill of anticipation. The nights were still bitterly cold, and this stew would do wonders to warm him.

He glanced about and spied Bella close by, sitting on a large, flat-enough rock. Her shoulders were hunched, her head down, her eyes on a book in her lap. Edward shook his head. She was a stubborn girl, that much he knew for certain. Despite the waning light, she would read until she was unable to see the letters on the page. Already she had brought the book closer to her eyes, and she squinted.

"Let me bring a cup to Bella," Edward said to Alice. She nodded readily and handed him another tin.

When Edward sat beside her, Bella started. When she saw it was him, she looked quickly away. Edward couldn't blame her. She'd given him a scare that afternoon, but it was hardly an excuse for the way he'd grabbed her.

Why did he somehow always find himself in trouble with this girl?

"Here." He offered her one of the tins. Her eyes flicked up to his and lingered for a moment before she looked to the soup.

"Thank you," she said, taking it from him.

A silence descended on them Bella seemed disinclined to break. Her shoulders were drawn inward, her gaze anywhere but on him. The only sound was the occasional sip from both of them as they raised their tins to their lips. Edward sighed. Warm and wonderful though it was, the soup could not quell the uncomfortable block of ice that had taken residence in his stomach as he contemplated what he was about to say.

"It wasn't a hunting accident," Edward said, and out of his peripheral vision, he saw Bella's body jolt at the broken silence. "But it was my fault."

He sipped his meal though his stomach twisted. He stared off, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon. "You know, I can't even tell you that much about her? I was drawn to her because I'd never seen a woman with such bright red hair. Redder even than Victor's, if you can imagine that. She stood out, but more than that, she was very sad."

"Sad?"

When he looked, Bella had raised her head and was watching him, her gaze full of compassion he didn't deserve. He cradled the hot tin in his hands, trying to soak up the warmth. "She was fresh of the boat from Ireland. Her family had died in the long crossing. It happens sometimes. Out on the ocean, someone brings illness with them, a lot of folk die. She'd lost everyone. That was what drew us together, I suppose. Two lonely people in a sea of other folk."

"Sounds like you were a good match."

Edward hummed. "Like I said, I can't really tell you much about her. Not to say I didn't enjoy my time with her. She was fascinated by the fact I could read. She was so eager to learn." Edward had to pause to take a deep breath. His heart ached. "I promised her I would teach her everything, anything she wanted to know."

"That's very kind of you."

He scoffed. "Yes. I am so very kind." He hung his head, twisting the now empty tin in his hands. "She was hardly recovered from her first journey when I told her I wanted to strike out on the trail. She was scared. Of course she was scared, but I was cocky. I was so ignorant." He shook his head in disgust.

The dirt crunched as Bella moved. She scooted closer to him, close enough to rest her hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it was, I'm sure you did everything you could to keep her safe. It's obvious you care. Sometimes, life just happens. You could be the most careful man in the world, and when a thing's gonna be, it's just gonna be."

Edward's smile was genuine as he lifted his head. He reached out and touched the tips of his fingers to her cheek before he drew back. "I knew her all of two days before I married her." He watched as Bella's eyes widened, and he chuckled without humor. "I pressured her into it, actually. Not for any untoward reason mind you. I just thought I knew what was best for her."

"Ah, that does sound familiar."

"Yeah, I reckon I haven't quite rid myself of that habit. But you gotta understand. She was an eighteen-year-old Irish girl with no one to look out for her."

"You wanted to take care of her. I understand that."

"Well, you know what they say about the road paved by good intentions. When we married, I didn't think to tell her I already intended to head west. What I knew about wives was they're meant to follow their husbands. I didn't stop to think what it would do to her - uprooting her yet again."

Bella looked at a loss for what to say, but there was no condemnation in her gaze. She swallowed audibly and again touched her hand to his arm. That small touch was so sweet, it was physically painful. Edward found it hard to speak around the lump in his throat. "She died on the trail six months to the day after we married, about three months into our journey. I hardly knew her. I thought we would have the time to get to know each other properly after we were settled in our new lives."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry." Bella's voice was thick with emotion.

Edward opened his mouth to tell her again it was his fault, but he was distracted by a ruckus closer to the fire than they sat. Most everyone had finished their meal now and some of their neighbors had ventured over to chat. The noise that had drawn Edward's attention was the small group of men who'd brought out their instruments. One blew out a few notes on the harmonica, another brought out a banjo, and Jasper Hale pulled at the strings of his guitar as they all settled.

In minutes, the camp was filled with music and high spirits. The young people danced. The older people chatted, most of them smiling. The children played.

Edward watched the revelry with Bella beside him in a companionable silence.

A/N: Thanks so much to barburella, jfka06, and songster for all their help.

How we doing out there? Everyone glad they can drive everywhere? Coz holy crap, I am.