As Joey was walking towards her high school, she could hear the perky voice of Andie McPhee shouting:
"Hey Joey! I was hoping I'd see you today. I mean, I see you every day but this is different."
"It's 7 AM. Slow down."
"Okay, well, let me explain. Last night I had a hard time sleeping which is really strange for me because usually I'm out like a light, but anyways, I was laying there and all of a sudden I had this epiphany. I know this is going to sound really strange, but it involved you."
"It's kind of early in the day for epiphanies, Andie, but thanks for sharing."
"Let me explain, this is important. Student council elections are right around the corner and I was thinking I could make a lot of positive changes as sophomore class president."
"And..."
"And a really great presidential candidate needs a really great running mate. That would be you."
Joey choked.
"No way. Forget about it, Andie. I don't do student government."
"No, no, no, Joey. I checked your GPA and you're in the top 3% of the class. You have a responsibility to let the academically less fortunate benefit from your wisdom."
"Maybe you haven't heard it, Andie, but I'm not exactly Miss Congeniality of Capeside, okay? And adding my name to your ticket would only assure you a loss. And everybody knows my sort-of family history, okay?"
"Look, in the high school chronological chart, it's ancient history. And your average teenage student has an attention span of just under 2 seconds. You've got a clean slate, Joey, so will you at least think about it?"
Joey sighed as they entered the high school.
"Look, Andie, I'm flattered, but I'd only screw up your chances. I gotta go." Joey said with a skeptical face as she turned towards her locker.
"Hey Potter! Isn't this a lovely morning?" Pacey's cheerful voice stopped her.
Joey faked a smile at him and then returned to her sour face.
"It would be, except *someone* whose name shall not be named in fear of dreadful consequences has kept me till late last night because he couldn't understand basic human anatomy!"
"Oh I could understand, alright, but I couldn't believe they would teach us innocent kids such stuff at this young age."
Joey raised a brow.
"I'd comment on that but then I might give you the impression that I gossip..."
Just as Pacey was opening his mouth to reply, Chris Wolfe came and handed them a flier:
"Hey man, vote for Chris and Abby on election day."
"Wherever you go, Pacey, the slacker vote follows" Abby said while passing through.
"And once again, Abby, your natural, irrepressible charm shines its way through."
Abby chuckled and moved on.
"Fabulous. James Bond and Prissy Galore are going to rule our class."
"Not necessarily" Andie said.
"Who's going to beat them?"
"Me"
Pacey laughed.
"Yeah, right."
"No, I'm serious, Pacey."
"What sane person would want to spend their time on school politics?"
"School politics look great on college applications."
"Who's your running mate going to be?"
Joey bit her lip. Andie threw her a look and then turned back to Pacey:
"Still working on that one, but I was thinking you'd want to be my campaign manager."
"Me?"
"Yep."
"Why would I want to do that? I'm a busy person, you know."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. I'm sure you'll be able to squeeze some poster printing in your busy schedule."
"Maybe, but again... why would I?"
Andie looked at Joey again, who frowned.
"Trust me, you're gonna do it."
/
Another tiring afternoon at the Ice House... More tiring for the lack of customers than anything else.
"I'm telling you, Joey, I'm worried about her."
"Then do something, tell her something, I don't know... Maybe if she knew that you liked her..."
"She's...!" Jack suddenly turned towards the door to see Abby and Chris walking in. He lowered his voice: "She's sleeping with that bastard, for God's sake. And she doesn't even like him!"
"Well, that's Jen for you"
"No, she's not like that. She's very funny and sweet and..."
Joey rolled her eyes.
"She might be all that but she's no Virgin Mary. Did I tell you what she was like in New York?"
"You don't know what she was like in New York, you weren't there at the time to see her, were you?"
"It's common knowledge!"
"How do you like being judged, Joey?"
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"You're judging, Joey... Judging something you know nothing about... because she used to go out with your ex-boyfriend... gee, that's mature"
Joey opened her mouth to speak, but realized that she had no idea why she didn't like Jen.
"EXCUSE ME!" Abby's annoying voice broke the silence. "Could we get a couple of menus over here, please?"
Joey went to their table and handed them two menus without even looking at them.
"Preferably not yesterday's special rotting on them"
Joey exchanged the menus, biting back a reply.
"Why'd you bring me to this dive?" Chris asked Abby.
"Because we need to talk strategy in private and you can always count on this place to be deserted. The service here is even worse than the food."
Joey returned to the bar, sitting next to Jack.
"So, you're content with letting those two representing your class?" He whispered.
"They're not the only ones running, Jack."
"Oh please! Kenny Reily?! That guy has no chance! Where's your sense of civic duty?"
Joey shrugged:
"I don't know, I've just never been the type to... you know... get involved in school activities."
"Well you weren't into art until recently... things can change..."
"Yeah, but student government is a huge leap, Jack, I mean, putting yourself out there for public scrutiny..."
"Yeah, but you should run, Joey... Andie needs you!"
Although they were whispering, their words could be heard to Abby and Chris' table. The two suddenly became very interested in Joey and Jack's conversation and started listening carefully.
"You know, she's new here" Jack continued, "and it will be hard for her to get votes, but you… You have this amazing girl-next-door quality. This is your chance to make a difference. For your talents to rise to the occasion. Don't limit yourself, Joey. You're a born leader."
Joey blushed.
"Yeah, more like a born loser." Abby suddenly said. "You actually think that you have a chance running against me? Get real. You throw the trash out, you don't vote it in."
"Back off, Abby."
"The truth hurts? Well, if you want to embarrass yourself and your entire family even further than nature intended then by all means, throw your amazing girl-next-door qualities into the ring. Hey, what's another disappointment in an already meager depressing existence?"
Joey took the pitcher of water she was holding and spilled it on Abby.
"You're dead!" Abby shouted and went out, followed by an amused Chris. Joey turned to Jack:
"Tell Andie I'm in."
/
"You know, on this book I picked up on the Clinton campaign, they said these things tend to get ugly. So we're going to have to start playing hard..."
"Pacey!" Andie smiled in surprise.
"What?"
"You've done research!"
"Yeah well, Potter here is a bad influence on me."
Joey blushed. Andie faked a smile and went back to politics:
"You know, I want this campaign to take a high road. I still think that a candidate's virtue and integrity is normal and to be expected and not just some character perk or bonus. I mean, my goal is to make government good and safe again."
"Did you get a glimpse at Chris and Abby's smear campaign? This is exactly what I was worried about!" Joey said.
"Why? We'll just hit them harder! There's a whole chapter in my book on mudslinging."
"No, we are not stooping to their lows! Government is all about balance and order." Andie said decisively. "We cannot let their petty ways get to us!"
"Don't you think we should at least fight back?" Joey said shyly.
"And let Chris and Abby and the whole school know that we respond in an emotionally knee-jerk fashion? What kind of message does that send to our voting constituents?"
"Yeah but I think we should at least stand up for ourselves... I mean..."
"Look Joey, I know they got you, but let's not let them get the best of us. I mean, those were just words. They carry no weight whatsoever. Now let's just look at our debate issues and figure out our game plan. Winning will be our best revenge."
/
After hours of debates, Joey felt like she had achieved nothing. She felt like she was talking and no-one was paying attention. The students were all sitting in their chairs, with no reactions. So tiresome. How could she get herself into this?
"It all comes down to one simple question. Who do you want to run your class? Us... the geeks... or Little Miss Perky and the Convict's Daughter. "Abby suddenly said.
"That is not a relevant issue, Abby." Andie calmly replied.
"You would say that since no one here knows your background. Just to bring everyone up to speed on an issue that is relevant, Andie McPhee, your perspective president, has a mother who's about...one shock treatment away from a permanent residence in the Looney bin!"
One long pause until Joey managed to find her words:
"You know, for once Abby let's stick to the issues. Andie's personal life has no bearing on her ability to handle the job as sophomore class president."
"Uh, whatever. We have hard evidence that Andie's mother was responsible for the death of her older brother in a car crash less than a year ago. The fact of the matter is mommy McPhee is a wacked out nut and we all know that mental illness is hereditary so you do the math."
"Abby, that's quite enough." The counselor finally decided to step in.
"Hey I was just trying to ascertain the truth for the safety of my fellow students. Andie..."
Andie was just sitting there, in the middle of the stage looking dumbfounded. When she became aware of people looking at her she blinked as to stop the tears and ran. The whole class remained speechless.
/
Jack managed to bring Andie back right in time for the general radio speech. She seemed okay, but by the time she had to speak she lost it again and ran. Abby giggled:
"Gosh, I hope it wasn't something I said. It was all in the name of good ol' fashioned politics."
Joey sighed and got out.
"Right." Chris said. "I'm gonna go kiss some babes."
"It's babies, you idiot."
"My way's much more fun." he winked and left too, leaving Abby with Pacey.
"Abby...so what's the deal here? Why are you slumming as vice-president for that guy when you are so obviously the brains behind this campaign?" He said, discreetly turning the mic on.
"I'll let you in on a little secret there, sport. I'm just using that walking penis for his popularity and ultimately, I'll destroy him. Just like I destroyed your little girlfriend. It's just so easy. And victory's so much sweeter when you have to walk on other people to get it. I'm going to rule this school. And you and all those other halfwits are too stupid to stop me."
"Yeah, you're probably right, I mean, I'm so stupid that I didn't know that when I pressed this button on this little thing that your annoying nasal whine was broadcast over this entire school. Oh no, wait a minute, that's exactly what I meant to do, sorry! My bad." Pacey chuckled and left Abby alone.
/
"Hey Pacey."
"You okay?"
"You should be asking Andie that, Pacey. I haven't heard anything about me that I haven't heard before."
"Yeah well, I'm here so I'm asking you. I'm sure you must have had some hope in this."
"Nope. None whatsoever. I mean, who would vote for the Potter girl in school government?" Joey said biting her lips.
"You know, Potter, you might not like me much but I can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on."
Joey smiled.
"Yeah, anything to get you out of math studying, right?"
"You know me too well, Potter."
"Like that's hard. Knowing those snails you killed was hard... er..." Joey suddenly blushed remembering their snail hunting expedition. Pacey smiled vaguely and then chuckled:
"Right..."
"Right..." she half-smiled. "I didn't get the chance to thank you for what you did with Abby..."
"It was my pleasure, Joey... any chance to place Abby against the wall..." he winked.
"Right..."
"So... um... math or shoulder to cry on?"
Joey finally dared to look him in the eye and felt her knees weak. 'What's happening to me?!' she couldn't help thinking.
"Potter?"
"Let me get that book."
"It's... uhm... on the table... right?" Pacey showed the book she had already prepared.
"Right, how silly of me." Joey breathed in. "Come on, retard, let's put some brains into you."