A/N: We are so very concerned with the fish!

Alas, the Cullens and crew were too distraught to think about fish. It made for a tasty meal for a bear that was killed by one of the other wagons. Thankfully, they were able to carry all the meat back to their camp because The Oregon Trail game isn't always very accurate and if something is too heavy, you get another member of your party to help you haul it's ass back.

Ahem.

Edward watched the embers of the fire get low before he thought about moving. Bella's weight against his side, her breath hot on his neck, was reassuring somehow. Comforting.

What Edward had simultaneously loved and loathed about night was that anything was possible. The darkness indulged fantasies of all types from nightmares to more mundane dreams. There in the quiet, he could pretend this was his, that the soft snores in his ear were an everyday occurrence, that when he carried her to bed, he would curl up beside her.

As though he had a right to even imagine it.

Edward sighed. He turned his body and let Bella slip into the crook of his arm. She whimpered and tangled her hands in his jacket. "Hush," he said near her ear as he hooked his other arm under her legs. "Sleep, Bella. I've got you."

She moaned again, the sound almost but not quite a word, before she nestled her head against his shoulder. Her body slackened again, her breaths evening out in sleep. When he was sure he had a firm grip, Edward stood. He carried Bella back to the Hale's camp where the girls were sleeping without their husbands for the night.

Alice had wanted to stay up with her mother and brother but had been kept away by her husband. Jasper had agreed to stay with Esme and Emmett in her stead if only she would agree to keep well away from the sickbed. Edward had seen enough young, strong men fall to cholera that he didn't understand why Jasper and Emmett thought they were impervious to the disease, but it was not his place to argue. He'd only been relieved they kept Bella well away.

Rosalie and Alice were curled up together, Bella's bedroll empty beside them. Alice stirred when Edward neared. "Just bringing Bella back," he whispered so she wouldn't feel threatened. It wasn't exactly appropriate for him to be near the sleeping women, but Alistair Hale was near enough if the younger women needed him. And Edward had seen Jasper going back and forth between the Hales' camp and the Cullens'.

Alice blinked at him and moved to pull back Bella's blanket so he could lay her down. Bella gave a little whine of protest, and Edward had to work her fingers loose of his jacket. He wanted to smooth the hair away from her eyes, but Alice was watching. He had to remind himself again he had no right to touch her.

"We're staying another day at least to give Papa time to recover. Did you hear?" Alice whispered.

"I did. It's a good thing. We made good time to this point. We can afford to rest up a few days."

Alice scooted close to Bella, running her fingers through her friend's hair as she slept. "He'll recover."

"You're right about that. He'll be just fine." He offered the young woman a smile and a nod before he backed off.

No sooner than he'd got out of sight of their camp than he found himself face to face with a figure outlined by the moonlight. Edward froze, assessing the threat. When he realized it was James, he relaxed minutely but had to swallow a groan. He started walking again only to have James fall in step beside him.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" James asked.

"You're going to have to be more specific."

James grabbed his arm and hauled him to a stop. "Don't play cute with me. I saw you with the Swan girl."

"Ah, James, come off it. She needed a shoulder to cry on, is all. She's a young girl, and that man is like a daddy to her. She was scared, and we talked. That's all."

"Do I look like a fool to you?" James shoved him. "I saw you with her by the river."

Edward's heart began to pound and his stomach twisted. "That was nothing," he said. The words made him feel sick. It wasn't nothing, but James wouldn't understand that anyhow. "It was-"

"I don't need none of your excuses. You're gonna muck this whole business up 'cause you can't keep your prick in your pants."

"Sake's alive. My prick ain't going nowhere you have to be concerned about. I told you. It was nothing. It was an accident." He rolled his shoulders. "Don't worry. I'm sure she's forgotten all about it seeing how worried she is about Carlisle. Even if I wanted to do something stupid-which I don't-she's not going to do anything to upset him."

James laughed. "Sometimes I forget how naive you can be about women-folk. Little girls like that are empty headed. She's only got that little window before she's an old maid. She's set her sights on you; she's not going to care if that man has one foot in the grave."

Edward stared, incredulous. He wanted to laugh. It would be a horse's ass like James Hunter would think a sweet girl like Bella could be plotting that way. "I'll keep an eye out."

James didn't move to let him by. "Or is it the other way around?"

"What are you on about now?"

"I've always liked you, Edward. You shut up and do what you're told. You don't give me any problems. But this time around, you've been a pain in my ass. Is this what's wrong with you? You got it in your head you want to play family man again? Well, all that's fine, but don't take it out on me. Or hell, you can't keep it together for me, you do it for the others. Victor and Laurent don't deserve you messing it up for all of us."

"Christ. There's no plot, James."

James stared at him another few seconds before he grunted. "Maybe it'd be better if you stuck to leading the oxen team of the Hale's wagon."

Edward grimaced. "Whatever you want, James."

The other man huffed again. "Next time you go to the whore house like the rest of us. Telling you, a man has his needs. You don't get your whistle wet, you get to acting all kinds of crazy."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Whatever you want, James," he said. He walked away from his boss.

~0~

It would be two full days before Bella and the other girls would be allowed near enough to see Carlisle. He sent his love and his own assurances he would live. They all breathed easier.

The girls had been tasked with washing clothes. It wasn't a luxury they could indulge in frequently, given they didn't have a large enough pot for warm water, and they rarely stopped long enough to let their clothes dry. It would have been impossible to keep clothes hanging as they walked seeing as the wagons kicked up dust something fierce. Outside of Fort Laramie, some members of the wagon train had peeled off to visit a spring. It was a twelve mile detour - around two days lost-but many emigrants stopped there to wash as it was a naturally hot spring. But James had dissuaded Carlisle and Alistair from making that trip.

Since they were all laid up, giving Carlisle enough time to get over the worst of his weakened state, the doctor had thought it was a good time to wash. It was another of his theories that cleanliness might help stop the spread of disease.

That first day, Bella set out into the forest to gather the root from a bush Edward had told her made a decent soap. This way, they could keep what stores they had for dishes and what day-to-day cleanliness they could.

Alice came with her and seemed dubious as she helped Bella get to the roots of the bushes she indicated. "This is supposed to clean our clothes?"

Bella grinned. "Where do you suppose our soap comes from? Not these bushes, perhaps, but everything comes from nature."

"How do you know these things, Bella?"

"What did you think I was doing with Edward all this time?"

Alice waggled her eyebrows. "Oh, I had a thought or two. I will say I'm not sure they involved discussing plants."

Bella flushed hot and and concentrated on moving her knife over the root, peeling back the bark as Edward had taught her. "That's about all we discuss."

"Mmhmm. I see that look, Isabella Swan. Even the tips of your ears are pink."

"The sun."

"Don't give me that." Alice knocked the roots from her and grabbed her hands. "I thought at first Papa was being too cautious, but when he brought you back to the fire last night…"

"Alice." Bella groaned and would have hidden her face in her hands if her friend hadn't been holding them. "I told you. I couldn't sleep, and he was kind enough to indulge me in conversation. I wish I hadn't fallen asleep, then he wouldn't have had to carry me back to you like a child."

"You spend more time with him than you do any of us."

"It's circumstance, is all. You're newly married. Rose is married. Edward indulges all my questions."

"Goes to show he has a reason to indulge. Did you think about that? Would James, Victor, or Laurent answer your questions?"

Bella shuddered. "I wouldn't think to ask any of them. I prefer when they don't seem aware I exist, truth be told."

"Can't say I blame you there." Alice giggled." Tell me true, Bella. I can keep a secret. Have you taken a shine to Edward? Who could blame you if you did. He's quite handsome, even with that beard of his."

Bella's eyelids fluttered as a visceral memory hit her full force. She raised her hand to her cheek, remembering the scratch of Edward's beard as they kissed. She would not have thought the stiff hair against her skin would be a pleasurable sensation, but in remembering, she ached for it. How silly that it should feel like a need to have his breath hot on hers again, his lips moving, his hands in her hair. How clearly she could see the darkness in his eyes. Could it really have been desire? For her? Why? She had so many questions.

"Bella!"

Bell started and looked to her friend, blinking in surprise. Alice giggled. "You're blushing again," she said.

"I'm not either." Bella rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously.

"You are. Has something happened between you and Edward? You can tell me."

"I should hope nothing has happened between them."

Both women looked up to see Rosalie making her way toward them. She fixed her eyes on Bella as she sunk down to her knees beside them. "Tell me there's no truth here. Nothing is going on between you and that man."

"Oh, Rose," Alice said. "So she has a little fancy. What of it? It's normal."

"Don't encourage her, Alice. This is not a good idea."

"Oh, pish posh. It's a romantic idea. Lonely man alone out on the trails." Alice put her arm around Bella. "The young, pretty girl who stole his heart."

Bella wanted to tell Alice to stop, that the idea was ridiculous, but she couldn't speak around the hope that welled up in her.

"It could not be a more foolish idea," Rosalie said. She was still looking steadily at Bella who could not chance more than a glance at her. "You must see beyond his pretty face, Bella. You must be practical. How would he provide for you. This is his trade." She gestured around them at the woods. "What would your life be like? He would be home for what? Perhaps the worst three months of winter, and then he would leave you for most the year, likely with a baby in your belly."

"For goodness sakes. Leave her be, Rosalie." Alice stroked Bella's back in a comforting way. "You don't listen to her, Bella. She's just bitter she's not still young and free like you."

Rosalie put her hand to her bulging middle. "Quite the contrary. Where would I be without my doting husband? He who has been my steady support even when we couldn't tell the rest of you about our baby. It was a decision we made together to make this journey, that our lives would be better served by this move. Tell me, what do you know of this man that you would let him make such decisions for you? Do you trust him that well?"

"My God, Rosalie." Bella stood and shoved the roots she'd gathered in her apron pockets. "Perhaps I'd noticed how handsome he is, but that's the end of it. I'm not looking to catch myself a husband."

"Not looking is exactly how some girls end up stuck with useless men or worse."

"Pah." Alice climbed to her feet. "We were having a little fun is all. Bella is a smart girl. She knows what she's doing."

Bella didn't argue, but privately, she thought Alice was as foolish as she was. Bella had very little idea what she was doing, and more than that, she wasn't at all sure what she wanted.

~0~

Try as he might, and the last three days, he'd tried mightily, Edward could not keep his eyes from straying to Bella. He didn't try to approach her, didn't follow her when she ventured into the woods that surrounded their camp. In fact, he tried his best to ignore her presence altogether, though he was desperate to know why she seemed to be doing the same.

Did she regret that day? Did she wish she had stopped him? Or, God above, had he taken advantage of her? He knew damn well she hadn't meant to kiss him. It was his own fault they'd been cheek to cheek, pressed together. She'd had a good hold on that fish. She hadn't needed his help, but he'd slipped his arm around her anyway and then…

Well.

He was having a hell of a time writing it all off as happenstance. A beautiful girl put her lips to his, even if it was accidental. He was only a man. How could he help but taste her lips, and when she didn't pull away, when she looked on him with hooded eyes, how could he have resisted going back for a second taste? And a third. And a fourth.

Intoxicating. Even remembering the sweetness of her kisses made his thoughts heady, as though he'd swallowed down a cup of wine in one gulp. No, that kiss hadn't been chance. It hadn't been chance that he'd taken her in his arms. He'd only needed an excuse to present itself and now that it had, he wanted another reason. Or to hell with excuses. He wanted to take her hand and lead her away from the prying eyes of his crew, her family, so he could kiss her again without pretense.

He couldn't get the idea out of his head. More than just kissing her, Bella had taken the place of the nameless, faceless woman in his idle fantasies. He imagined they had their own camp where they might talk as they did sometimes during the day. He imagined her feisty grin when she challenged him.

There were so many reasons he didn't have the right to think of such things, and yet, he could not seem to stop.

On the morning of the fourth day after Carlisle fell ill, the whole party rose with the dawn. It would be back on the trail that day. Though James had grumbled at the delay, it was a good idea for the whole party in the long run. It allowed time for fishing and hunting. Clothing was washed. Some of the mending that had gone undone because everyone was so exhausted by day's end got done. Emmett had time to make some small repairs to the wagons.

Edward watched from across the clearing as Bella helped stow away the last of the pots from that morning's breakfast. He watched her and thought about how it was only rational that they talk about what had happened. After all, there were still months ahead of them on the trail, and they couldn't very well avoid each other. That was a good enough reason to figure how to get her alone, was it not?

Talk. They did need to talk. It had been his turn to walk with the party. Surely he could find a way to let her know they needed to speak privately. If he-

"Edward."

Edward turned to find James looking at him. No. James was not merely looking. His glare was sharp. His eyes flicked over to Bella and back again. "You're with the Hale's oxen team today," he said. "Likely tomorrow, too."

"James, you can't be serious-"

"You have a problem with that order?"

Edward swallowed hard. "No. There's no problem."

"That's what I thought. Anyhow, you best get going quick. I want the wagons ready to go in the next ten minutes, you hear?"

"Yeah. Yeah, fine."

Edward stormed across the clearing toward the Hale's wagon, his teeth gritted and his hands in fists at his side. It shouldn't bother him. It shouldn't bother him at all. It was his job to follow James's command, and that was that. He'd always been at peace with it.

He lifted his head as though he'd heard his name called, and his eyes met Bella's. She was still a ways away, her hands occupied though her gaze was on him. She smiled. It was a sweet smile, small and beguilingly shy. Edward couldn't help but smile back. He slowed his gait and hesitated, wishing like hell he could go to her, but he couldn't.

No doubt about it, this pretty little girl had come out of nowhere and upended his world. Not much about his life sat well with him just then, not the least of which was the fact all he could do was tip his hat as he passed her by.

It wasn't nearly enough. Taking a chance, he brushed his fingers over his lips in a subtle gesture and met her eyes again, hoping she would understand. He hadn't forgotten their kiss, not by a long shot.

The way her cheeks flamed red could be seen even from the distance they were at, and Edward's smile grew wider. He watched as she ducked her head and similarly pressed her fingertips to her lips.

The sweetness of her smile as she kissed him back kept him buoyed the rest of the long, tiring day.

A/N: Wagons ho!

Many thanks to barburella, songster, and jessypt for all their consistent love and support.

We're headed into the Rockies now, folks. Let's see how our travelers fare.