A/N: Ya know, I gotta tell you. The number of you who are a-okay with Carlisle rooting around in Bella's vaginal area to verify her virginity kinda scare me. Lol!

"Ouch." Bella yelped and jumped where she sat.

Alice tisked. "Sorry," she said, patting the side of Bella's head. She drew the comb through her hair more gently. "We've all got so many snarls, we might just have to lop it all off."

Bella wrung her hands in her lap, doing her best not to fidget nor reach up to rub at her sore scalp. Though she'd done nothing more wrong, she felt guilty about the way everyone was rushing around to pull together an impromptu wedding. The happy task of making Bella look presentable fell to Alice. "This is all so much trouble."

"Oh, honey. It's no trouble." Alice leaned forward to give her a quick hug. "Maybe you got a little ahead of yourself, but you still deserve to look beautiful."

Bella stared down at her lap as tears of frustration welled. She couldn't wipe them away surreptitiously enough for Alice not to notice.

"Don't be scared," Alice said, misreading Bella's tears. "I can't imagine this is comfortable for you. Everyone is angry or disappointed, but forget about them."

"As if I could. You seem to be the only one who can look me in the eyes."

Alice hummed. "Well, it'd be mighty hypocritical of me not to." She giggled and leaned down so she could speak lowly in Bella's ear. "I can tell you now, one of the reasons Jasper and I pressed Papa to allow us to wed before we got out on the trail was because we got quite ahead of ourselves. I thought for a time it would be me in Rosalie's place."

Bella felt her face grow hot, and she had to resist the urge to slink down into the ground she sat upon. There was only one reason Alice thought she could talk so plainly, and it was not something Bella was comfortable with. There was so little she understood about the relations between a husband and his wife.

It was simply not something Bella had given any thought to. It seemed to her she'd been a child one moment, still young enough to hold her mother and father's hands as they walked down the lane together, and the next her life was in limbo. After her mother died and her father decided to head to a new life out west, Bella's future was a question mark. Thinking about a land she had no concept for trumped thinking about a husband and babies.

How rapidly her life was changing.

"Heavens, Bella. You're shaking."

Bella clenched her hands together and breathed through her nose. "Alice." Her voice shook, and she had to swallow hard before she could continue. She caught Alice's hand and held it tightly. "Please. I have no one else to ask. How…" She felt her cheeks heat, and she didn't know how to continue. "I want to be a good wife, and I don't know. I don't know how."

"Calm down." Alice loosed her hands from Bella's grip so she could wipe her tears away. "You've already gotten around what most brides fear about their wedding night. What else do you have to be frightened about?"

"Don't you understand? I could not have dreamed this morning that I would be married off tonight. What will become of us? Where will we live? Will I see you or my father ever? Oh, my word… what will my father think? I can't bear to think of his disappointment. And Edward. This is how he makes his living. How will I bear being alone for so many months, worrying about him travelling this wretched trail year after year with all its hardships and dangers?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, rocking. "What's happened here, to us, to me and Edward, isn't some grand romance like yours and Jasper's. We didn't scheme to sneak away together behind the back of my guardian and his employer. We haven't held hands and dreamed of our future. We haven't…" She shook her head, further frustrated by the tears that wouldn't stop and the way she trembled. "He kissed me, and I didn't protest. Perhaps I should have, but that's all. That's all we ever did. You must believe me, Alice. No one else will."

Alice stared at her for several tense moments before she wrapped her arms around Bella, pulling her closer. "Oh, Bella. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You are telling the truth, aren't you?"

Burying her head against her friend's chest, Bella only nodded.

"I'm sorry," Alice said again, rocking them both. "I got quite caught up in the story in my head. It's quite a good one, you know. A man who has lost everything on the trail finding everything again in a plucky young girl." She smiled and cupped Bella's cheek. "And you, my dear friend. I've wanted a man like Edward for you for a long while now."

Alice pressed her lips together, thinking a moment. "I don't know that Pa will believe me anymore than he believes you, but we can try."

Bella shook her head. "No." She took a deep breath and looked up at Alice, feeling shy and foolish. "I do love him, and I've given him my word. Carlisle's mind is made up as well as that of the train's council. It's just that I had not so much as let myself consider there was a possibility for us and now there is no time. There is no courtship, no chaperoned walks and iced tea on the porch. I remember how often you sat with Esme and Rosalie asking their advice. Now I wish I had listened, but back then it seemed as though it might be eons before I would have use for such information. I have no idea how to be a good wife."

Alice smiled and guided her back into a hug. "With the right man, there is no more to being a good wife than being yourself. Edward has shown himself to be gentle with you. He looks on you as though you were precious. Don't you worry your head, dearheart. Don't you trust him to take care of you?"

"Yes. Of course. It's not... that I worry about." It did make her nervous, but she trusted Edward with her body. "It's... him."

"Oh, Bella." Alice leaned in to whisper wickedly in her ear. "You'll find, dear sister, that men are easiest in that regard."

Before Bella could think on her claim, Esme came around the wagon holding something folded in her arms. She fixed Bella with a gentle smile. "Here now. It took some doing, but I believe this will do quite nicely."

With a flourish, she aired out the dress in her arms and held it up for Bella's inspection. "What do you think?"

It was simple as dresses went. Under most circumstances it would not be considered appropriate for a wedding. Back home she would have been a laughing stock but out here it was much finer than their usual wear. "Esme. You didn't have to do this. I can't imagine what it cost."

"It's a gift, actually. Poor Mr. And Mrs. Greene lost their dear girl for whom this was intended to the cholera outbreak some weeks ago." She stroked the side of Bella's smoothed hair. "They send it with their blessing and hope for your happiness."

Bella's heart ached, and she felt low for considering her own problems when some would not survive the journey to their new lives. She ran her hands along the soft, pale peach fabric before she looked up to the woman who had been her mother for some years now. "Will you give me... us your blessing?" she asked in a child's worried tone.

Esme folded Bella into her arms heedless of the cloth between them. "Precious girl. I've no doubt in my mind things are just as they are intended to be. Life is not always a neat thing, and you deserve the best of it. Yes, Bella. You have my blessing, and what's more, you will always have my love and support."

She kissed her forehead and held her at arm's length. "Now. Let's finish here. Your husband awaits."

Bella's cheeks warmed. As before, when Edward told her he wanted and loved her, a stirring of hope sent excitement through her bloodstream.

Most of her was glad she didn't have to wait to marry Edward.

~0~

Carlisle had shoved his shaving kit at Edward before he stormed away to make other arrangements. There wasn't time to hack all of his many month's beard off but he could neaten it a bit.

As he combed and clipped, Edward was lost in worry and memory. He was trying to remember if he'd been cleanshaven when he married Maggie. Their wedding was similarly rushed. The moment he secured her assent, he'd taken her straight before the closest preacher.

How different it could have been. If he'd thought for a moment he could be what Bella deserved, he would have taken his time with her. He would have courted her - spoiled her rotten with all manner of gifts. He would have worked his hardest to impress her father, prove his worth to them both. Their wedding would have been a right shindig, well planned as she might have liked with her father to walk her down the aisle.

"What the hell is this? You look like a moon-eyed jackass."

Edward looked up, doing his best to keep the expression on his face neutral as James came to stand before him, hands on his hips. Seeing as he figured himself out of a job, he didn't have any qualms with mouthing off. "Seems like I'm a bit busy here."

James tilted his head and glared. "You wanna rein it in now and shut your trap? I'm here to tell you how it's gonna be. I talked to Carlisle and for reasons that defy comprehension, he thinks you're still due your share of the payment. I'll be damned if you get to take it easy from here on out and still get our money.

"So here's how it's going to be. You're more trouble than I want to deal with, so you can stay with your little wife. You can walk with the wagons, but you're going to pull your weight, hear?"

Edward got to his feet. He couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea that despite all he had done, Carlisle was still helping him. His throat tightened around a well of emotion, but he managed to swallow so he could speak around it. "I hear you. Now I want you to hear this. This is my family now. You're one of the ones who made it happen. They're my family, and they get treated as such. No more taking advantage of them who'd put too much trust in you."

James's cheek twitched with irritation, but he gave a tight nod. "Best of luck." He tipped his hat and got out of there like his boots were on fire.

As he was walking off, Jasper Hale came around the corner. Edward wasn't altogether surprised to see him. "Let me guess. You're here to threaten my life or my manhood if I treat Bella wrong."

The other man surprised him by grinning widely. "I reckon I could, but my guess is Emmett already took care of that particular threat."

"That he did."

"I thought you could use a friend."

Edward tilted his head, shocked for the second time in a short period. Again, Jasper grinned. "For what it's worth, Alice believes your story. And I believe her. So let me be the first to tell you thank you."

"You're thanking me? For what?" Edward's eyebrows were making for his hairline by then.

"You saved Bella's life."

"Oh." Edward glanced down at his feet and shook his head. "There's nothing to thank me for there."

Jasper nodded. "Listen, brother, I remember how much I wanted to talk to someone right before I married Alice. It was like a mighty need in me I didn't know was there until it couldn't be ignored. I waited two years to marry her. Most would think that's more than enough time for talk, but it wasn't. Not when it came right down to the line. Anyhow, I was lucky enough to have my father with me. You got anything you want to say, I'll listen. Don't much matter what it is. This can't be an easy hand to be dealt."

Edward took a deep breath. Most of him wanted to wave Jasper off. He had a certain bravado to keep up. But Jasper was right. He wanted to talk. There was so much he wanted to say, so many worries that made his head ache. "It's not about Bella," he said. "Truth be told, I'm more sure about her than I have been about anything else in my life ever. That's… That's a revelation in and of itself. It's just that I wish… Well, I will a lot of things. Is it strange that I'm upset about being out of Carlisle's favor?"

Jasper nodded knowingly. "Carlisle Cullen is a unique man, among the best. I understand what you mean. Sometimes I think I'd rather disappoint my own father than Carlisle. He brings that out in everyone who knows him, I think." He stroked his chin, his expression thoughtful. "Honestly, he likes you. Right now I think he's most disappointed in himself."

"Himself? Why?"

"He promised his best friend he'd take care of that which was most precious to him. His only child. His baby girl. It wasn't a promise he made lightly." Jasper winked at Edward. "Don't get me wrong. Charlie Swan is going to kill you, but he won't have many kind words for Carlisle either."

Edward blanched at the thought. He remembered Charlie Swan well, and that was not a meeting he was looking forward to. The man was tough as nails, and, as far as Carlisle and Charlie were concerned, Edward had taken advantage of a young woman in his charge.

Jasper laughed at the look on his face and clapped his shoulder. "Don't worry. Give it a few days for Carlisle to see you intend to be every bit the husband Bella deserves, and he'll forgive you soon enough. As for Charlie, well, you bring his daughter home happy and healthy and he won't shoot you."

"That's very comforting. Thank you," Edward grumbled, but he smiled. Then he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared out over the land.

Happy he thought he could swing. He knew he could make Bella happy. He'd seen it in the way her eyes sparked with amusement, interest, and adoration when they spoke. Healthy…. well, that was another story. He wanted to believe time had given him the tools to make the right choices.

It wasn't fair that Maggie had ended up with him - a silly little boy who was playing at being a man. How arrogant he'd been to believe marrying him was what was best for her. It wasn't fair that she had never known love, though he had tried his best to show her tenderness.

Now he had done everything he could to learn from his mistakes, and he wanted to say he was ready. He was simply terrified he was wrong.

~0~

After long, hard days on the trail, the emigrants always reveled in reasons to celebrate. Edward had seen a fair few weddings in his many journeys on the trail, so he had some idea what to expect.

News of the event spread fast, and by the time the bride and groom were ready as they were going to be for such an affair, every family for a mile in either direction had gathered. They'd come bearing what gifts they could spare-a skinny chicken, the last few drinks of a bottle of brandy and the like-and kicked up quite a ruckus when Bella appeared on Carlisle's arm.

She was a vision. The dress she wore was rumpled but lovely. Her hair was loose, flowing all around her in a way Edward had never seen. He itched to run his fingers through it. In fact, his body vibrated with the need to have her beside him, her hand in his. It was all he could do to keep himself from bouncing in his place beside the reverend.

By the time Carlisle put her hand in his, Edward was staring with open awe. Bella stared back at him with wide, nervous but reverent eyes. When her lips turned up, her smile shy, he couldn't help but beam back at her.

The gathered guests quieted as the reverend began to speak. Edward heard none of it. He saw nothing but the beautiful woman in front of him. He heard nothing but her vows, the words that made her his. When it was his turn, Edward gave his word in return, giving himself over to this incredible creature. He spoke his vows fervently, resolving that he would. Yes, he would protect her. No longer would he be uncertain about his ability to keep her safe. She would be loved. She would be honored. She would be protected. With every breath, every bone, every beat of his heart, he vowed it.

And then, he sealed his promise to his new wife with a kiss.

~0~

Bella was overwhelmed.

People she hardly knew, some she knew not at all, sang and danced in her and Edward's honor. They kissed her cheeks and left their blessings. Oh, she had heard blessings in every language she thought existed.

It was all very sweet, but the night was still young when Bella grew exhausted. It had been a long day, and she had yet to wrap her head around how different her life looked now than it had that morning.

Esme touched her arm and Edward's, drawing their attention. She didn't look them in the eyes as she spoke. "If you follow my hand straight that way-" she pointed off to the treeline not far from the trail, "-you will come to a small meadow. I had the boys set up our tent there, and you'll have some privacy tonight."

Bella had never felt more bashful in her life. "Oh, Esme… We didn't… We don't… You shouldn't…"

"Hush, child." Esme touched first her cheek and then, with only a moment's hesitation, she reached out to touch Edward's in the same fashion. "It's your wedding night. The only one you shall have. Go on now. There will be no other respite for you. Come morning it's back on the trail."

As she spoke, Carlisle approached and stepped to her side. Though Bella couldn't look at him, he drew her into his arms, and she clutched him back tightly. "Esme's right." He pulled back, cupping Bella's face in his hands. It took all her courage, but when Bella finally looked up at him, his eyes were soft. Worried but not disappointed. "Bella, you are as dear to me as my own daughter. I wish your father were here for you, but as he isn't, it falls on me to wish you all the luck in the world, my child."

He kissed her forehead before releasing her. He turned to Edward. His look was not as soft for her husband, but after a prolonged pause, he offered his hand and clapped his free hand over Edward's when he took it. "Better or worse, you have a family now. You're not alone in this."

Edward seemed touched, but he didn't speak at this. He gave a tight nod and shook Carlisle's hand.

Carlisle stepped back, wrapping an arm around his wife. "Go now with our love and blessings."

Bella's heart pounded hard in her ears as she walked beside Edward beyond the trees, away from the din of the revelers. He kept his hand wrapped tightly around hers, leading her through the semi-darkness. It wasn't long before they came to the impromptu camp where Carlisle and Esme's tent had been set up with Edward and Bella's bedrolls beneath the canvas and a small fire off to the side.

When they stopped, Edward pulled her close, and Bella's heart skipped a beat. She wasn't scared, not really. She simply had no idea what to expect.

Edward held her face between his palms, and he stared at her for a long while. He ran his thumbs over her lips. "You are so lovely, and I am so lucky," he murmured. The look on his face suggested he was looking at something magnificent-maybe a fine painting-and Bella couldn't quite comprehend how anyone, let alone someone as lovely and wonderful as Edward, could look at her like that. Slowly, so slowly, he leaned in to press a kiss to her nose, her cheeks. He kissed the skin under her eyes. They were tender kisses, adoring brushes of his lips against her.

Bella rested her arms in a loose grip around his waist and waited for him to lead her. She reveled in his soft kisses, her body tensed, waiting for his intimate touch.

It didn't come. Instead, he drew her up against him, his mouth near her ear, his breath hot as her name tumbled from his lips once, twice, again. She could feel his heart pounding at the same frantic tempo as hers. He swallowed hard. "I can't lay with you. Not tonight."

Bella went still in his arms. She blinked. As his words sank in, confusion was quickly overcome by rejection. She didn't know much, but she knew it wasn't right for a husband not to want his wife in his bed. She tried to pull away, but he held her fast. "No, Bella, listen. Listen." His hands were soothing as they stroked up and down her back. "Darling, you have no idea how much I want to, but it wouldn't be right. For so many reasons it wouldn't be right."

She thought about this a moment before she pulled away. This time he let her. In the firelight, his eyes were careful but tender, still so tender. Remembering the way he looked at her when Carlisle gave her hand, Bella found her strength and her voice. "It's right for a man to lay with his wife."

He reached out to stroke her cheek. "Not before she's ready."

"I'm-" Bella began to lie, but he put his finger to her lips.

"Not yet, Bella. I can't risk…" He pressed his lips together and swallowed hard again. "There's still over half the journey left. I won't risk you falling sickly and weak on account of me." His thumb brushed over her chin, and his eyes searched hers. "Do you understand?"

She remembered how Maggie had died, and she understood his fear. She wanted to tell him not to be silly, but she couldn't. This land was harsh and unforgiving. All her family's lives seemed too fragile as it was out here. She wanted to be strong for all of them.

And she knew Edward would never forgive himself if something happened to her.

Bella lifted her hand to press his against her cheek. She looked up into his eyes. "I understand."

Relief tinged his features. He closed his eyes, and the tension drained from his shoulders.

They readied for bed together. Bella wished she didn't feel so bashful and out of sorts. While she understood that he would not take her innocence that night, she didn't know what else he might expect of her.

When he took off his shoes, she clucked over the state of his feet - bruised and cut from when Emmett had dragged him barefoot back to camp. Though he protested at first, she convinced him to let her fuss just a bit.

As she cleaned his feet with the cold water from the pail they'd been left, he began to tell her of their possible future.

"I have a home and land. I don't know if you realized."

"I hadn't, actually."

"Yeah. That's part of why people come west, you know? Land grants are free if you're willing to work the land. They want the West settled, and you've got to have settlers to do that, people who think they can make a better life for themselves."

His voice was far away as he spoke. "I was too restless to stay once I got there. I don't know what you could call it. I found a man who didn't have the means to buy what he needed to work the land himself. He agreed to farm my land for me in exchange for board and a small salary. He's almost got enough saved up that he can start his own farm. I'd wondered what I was going to do when he left me." He clucked and looked back at her. "Guess I know now. Seems I have every reason to stay."

Bella tried hard but she couldn't fight her smile. "You won't go back with James?"

Edward snorted. "Ah, hell. At this point, James wouldn't take me back if I wanted to go, but no matter." He took her hand and pulled her down beside him, laying back with her in his arms. He traced her features with his fingertips. "I could never leave you, Bella." He kissed her gently. "My beautiful wife. Does that please you?"

"To know you won't leave? Yes. Yes, it pleases me." She ducked her head, hiding against his neck. "I was afraid I would be alone in a strange place."

"No. No, I wouldn't do that to you. Never." He kissed her again and nuzzled her with the tip of his nose. "Bella… If I'm making you uncomfortable, please tell me. There's no rush. I'm yours, my sweetheart. I want you to feel safe with me."

"I do," she assured him, allowing herself the pleasure of caressing his scruffy face and running her fingers through his hair.

"This is okay?" he asked again, winding his arms around her.

"Yes."

He sighed contentedly and brought the blanket over them. Shy, she hid her face against his chest. "Will you tell me of our home?"

"Yes of course. I'll tell you about Oregon city and the land as I remember it, though it may be changed much from the glimpses I've had over the years. I'll build you a fine home, Bella. There's a small cabin there now, but you shall have whatever manner of home your heart desires."

Edward curled his arm around her and murmured in her ear, telling her of the verdant beauty of Oregon and the Willamette Valley.

A/N: Yeah, let's see if that lasts...E/B sleeping next to each other without going further. *whistles*

Many thanks to barburella, jfka06, and jessypt for all their help.

How are we doing out there?