I know...but the time traveling muse is escaping me at the moment...so

XX

Sybil washed the last dinner plate.

Mary leaned over the sink to turn off the tap. The Wedgewood china had to be hand washed rather than put in any dishwasher. Mary took the set from the 1920s Downton collection when she first moved to London. She loved using the pieces during dinner parties as well as family gatherings.

The dinner went down well in Mary's opinion. She had it catered by a local favourite restaurant and everyone enjoyed the choices of appetizers and entrees. All the guests got on as well as could be expected. Matthew and Tom representing CB Properties chatted amiably with the Mayhews new business clients of Grantham LTD. They had substantial landholdings in the midlands and were looking to sell off some acreage. Robert was particularly solicitous towards them.

He patently ignored Matthew. As her father told Mary, "I don't expect we shall ever be friends."

Mary had no comment to that. She had done her duty by her father and brought Matthew in as he wanted. What Matthew found or did not find was out of her hands.

She did not reveal her own personal relationship with Matthew. If that was even the term to be used.

She was still deciding what he was. If anything, to her. Other than a business partner now.

Anything else was too dangerous.

Lavinia had struck up a chat with Mary at the tail end of the dinner. Matthew looked on rather too nervously, Mary noticed that Lavinia and he had exchanged significant stares upon his return from the privacy of Mary's office.

"Have you lived in London long?" Lavinia asked. "In conversation earlier with your father, Lord Grantham, he said your family home was in Yorkshire. That you rode horses in an earlier career. That must have been exciting."

Mary answered with only a slight hesitancy in her voice. "That was a long time ago. I've been here about three years. I moved here permanently when I took the job at Grantham LTD."

"So is this your property?" Matthew rather too keenly asked. "Or the primary lease holder?"

"Matthew." Lavinia gently tried to chide her husband. "Ever the inquisitor on real estate," she turned back to Mary. "You'd think he never thought about anything else."

The comment had an edge to it. Especially combined with the look she threw Matthew.

"It's fine." Mary said to Lavinia, diffusing the situation. She answered Matthew's question. "Yes, it's an old Crawley freehold property. It was a big move as my father expects me to pay for all the upkeep. But it has turned out to be the right one."

Matthew looked pleased. Mary wondered if that meant he was happy his investment was secured by this plum property?

An awkward pause ensued. Mary quickly changed topic to an inquiry about Lavinia's teaching responsibilities. Lavinia responded to Mary recounting a lively anecdote about sports day at her primary school. Sybil, on the other side of table, asked Matthew a question and he turned away to answer it.

Mary relaxed as the conversation flowed easily again.

One thing Mary was sure of. Lavinia suspected something. She knew it. It was still at the fringe of her consciousness, but it was definitely there.

Mary was still in a state of shock herself about this turn of events. She had no intention of embarking on any kind of relationship with Matthew when tasked with engaging his expertise in consultant work. And yet she could no longer deny the attraction she had felt at their private dinner.

What was she doing accepting his money and agreeing to invest it in a championship level horse?

It was mad.

She was mad even to think it could work. That she could return to competition. That she could make up for lost years of training and honing her skills.

But the challenge in his eyes was something Mary could not resist.

She had regretted her rash decision to leave competitive riding. But she had accepted her chance was gone. Had settled into another life. A new job. Got back into dating after being so single minded for so long in her training and competition. Found Henry on a lark trip with some friends to the race course. The excitement they shared about being in control, feeling the speed in their bones, and going for broke. Her on a horse. He in his Ferrari or Porsche. They had connected. It had been exciting.

Having someone to go to parties with. To go to bed with. To have regular sex with. These were things Mary had given up in her single minded training for the Olympics. There had been no time in her life for such things.

So as a novelty, it was fun. At the beginning. When she had considered that perhaps the relationship had finished its course, Henry had suggested moving in together. As the next logical step. They got along. They liked each other. Why not?

That was over a year ago.

It had been enough.

Or at least had seemed enough.

But no longer.

Not after the conversation with Matthew. His interest in her life. Her hopes.

If Mary was brutally honest with herself, not after those cerulean pools of blue turned direct into her gaze and into her soul.

She had never felt anything like it. His eyes had bored into hers. With a penetrative gaze that was as honest as it was unsettling.

What had he been doing? Was he even thinking about the consequences of such a look?

Was she?

Sybil must have sensed Mary's thoughts. "So what is up with this Matthew guy? The two of you were gone a long time in your office. You can't really be thinking of pursuing a relationship there?"

Mary paled. "Don't be ridiculous. He's just a consultant we hired. What were you talking to him about at dinner?" Mary tried to steer the conversation away. "You two seemed intense as well."

Sybil replied readily, "I asked if he was the same Matthew Crawley that had donated at the director level to the Stroke Association."

"His father died of a stroke." Mary answered before thinking.

Sybil gave her sister a sly look. "Yes, so he told me even though he didn't like to talk about it. But of course you wouldn't know anything about his private life. As he's just a hired hand."

Mary put the last dish away in the cupboard. She sighed heavily. "Can you just give this all a miss, Syb? I don't want to talk about it."

Sybil's mouth turned inward and her eyes widened in concern. But she said nothing.

XX

Henry stared intently at Mary. His blue-green eyes wide, unblinking.

"What?" Mary quizzically asked. They were getting ready for bed.

"I want to ask you a question."

"Sounds serious." Mary said as she turned down the duvet cover. "I'm not sure I can manage anything else tonight." The evening had exhausted her. Sybil's on the nose observations unnerved her. Uncomfortable on the heels of Matthew's revelations about her father's misappropriation of funds. And his own revelation that it troubled him deeply to cause her any pain.

It was all too much for an evening.

"You're always wonderful at these things. Managing to put everyone at ease. Amazing really. I never know what to say." Henry pushed a pillow against his head.

Mary shrugged. "A lifetime of social engagements makes you seem a genius at small talk."

"Your posh life is still good for something." Henry rejoined.

Mary gave him a hard side-eye. "I think I hold my own in all types of company."

"I know." Henry sounded just a bit irritable. "Especially rich and ambitious real estate brokers."

"Your meaning is?" Mary's chilly response.

"You seemed very friendly with Matthew Crawley. All that time in your office."

"You were watching over me? Am I not allowed to be out of your presence?" Mary had not meant to sound so defensively testy.

Henry rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I just noticed is all. Seemed odd given your proclivity to mingle equally with each guest. What is he? Some kind of distant relative your family hopes to dig their claws into?"

"He's nothing to me or my family." Mary said wearily. She was tired of defending her actions. "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

Henry refocused his thoughts. "Yes. Yes." He reached out to take Mary's hand. "Do you know what today is?"

Mary furrowed her brow. "No. What?" Just another long day…

"You told me a year ago today you'd answer me with regards to getting married. You put me off then, saying we didn't know each other well enough. I think we do now. So I want to return to that conversation."

"And do what?" Mary's body betrayed her, turning stiff and uncomfortable at Henry's suggestion. It was, she realized, the last thing she wanted to do.

"Ask you to marry me."

Mary's eyes closed. "Because it's an anniversary? My goodness. Do you have a marriage license in your pocket or something?"

"You do try my patience." Henry replied. "Not everything I say is an opportunity for a sarcastic return."

She gripped his hand. "I'm sorry. It's just been a long day."

"What do you say? Can you even consider it?"

"We are happy as we are. Why do we need to change anything?" Mary tried to rationalize.

"To make things more settled." Henry replied evenly. "We've put so much into our careers. Now I think we should focus on ourselves. Enjoy being together. You always make us run hot or cold. Maybe if we're married, things will be more stable between us."

"I'm not sure that's the best reason to marry." Mary hated being so evasive, but this was the last conversation she wanted to have with Henry right now. "Shouldn't some mention of love be a part of it?"

Henry sighed. "I would have thought that was understood."

Mary snapped, "I suppose. But love is an urge that fades."

"You really can be cynical. We've made it this far. I want to be part of your family."

Mary's gaze returned to Henry's eyes. "Don't I have a say in that matter?" At his hurt look, she relented, "Will you let me think about it?"

"Of course." But his hand retreated away from hers.

XX

Matthew flipped through the channels. It was still a few days away but Lavinia was packing for the short trip with her school group. She was in charge and wanted to make sure she had not forgotten anything.

"Did you pack the extra charger I bought you?" Matthew asked, his finger still on the remote. "I left it down on the kitchen table."

Lavinia rummaged through the small satchel. "Yes. It's here."

Given recent events on the continent, her school had changed the location of the trip. Rather than Paris, the itinerary now included just a fossil hunting expedition in the Peak district. Matthew was very relieved at the change.

"I wrote down the number of the small inn that the head booked at the last minute." She reminded him.

"I have it." Matthew replied. "It's already on my mobile."

He lounged on the bed.

"Top Gear is on." He said finally settling on a station. "A repeat though." But his voice trailed off as he realized who was on the episode. He hadn't known the man during the episode's initial run.

Lavinia peered over the top of her suitcase. "Isn't that Henry?"

"Yes." Matthew said, more sourly than he intended. "He's driving the 488 Ferrari."

"Jealous?" Lavinia took in Matthew's expression. "Wish you could drive it yourself."

Matthew was only half listening. "He's prattling on about his racing accomplishments. Just drive the damn car will you" he commented to the TV screen.

Lavinia shook her head. "All men love the sound of their own voices. He's no exception."

"Am I like that?" Matthew looked over the bed to his wife.

"Of course. Your voice just happens to be more charming than most. So you get away with it." And she zipped the suitcase shut.

He snorted, amused at Lavinia's remark. "I'm not sure that's an exemption or a back handed compliment."

"You were completely absorbed in that TV programme and making your own declarations about Henry's pomposity even as you sounded just like him." Lavinia observed.

Matthew frowned deeply. He sounded like Henry? But Henry's a smug git.

She laid down next to him on the bed. Matthew flipped the channel to a cooking show. Lavinia was half watching while reading a book she picked up from the side table.

Matthew was writing notes on an on line article about currency deflation and dozing. His mind drifted.

He was brought back to what he was doing by Lavinia's question "why a sudden interest in horses?" Her eyes confused by what she took in. What she didn't want to contemplate.

Unbeknownst to him he had drawn several of the animals in the margins of the note book.

XX

Once she accepted his check, Mary had become partners with Matthew. In order that things remained on an equal footing between the, she promised to include some of her own money in the startup operation. That way she felt not exactly obliged or in his debt.

When they met next for dinner, she presented him with the statements from the banking account she set up to show him her contribution.

Matthew said "that was not necessary. You are providing the land and the stables. You're finding the students. Renting out the stalls to other owners. That's quite enough. You're doing the heavy work. I'm just the…" His eyes twinkled, "the rather laid back money man."

Mary still insisted. "It's the only way I will agree. I'm very stubborn."

"So am I." Matthew responded. He simply could not help the flirtatious tone that overtook his voice every time he spoke with Mary.

He sat back in his seat.

Through some kind odd unspoken mural consent, neither brought up Matthew's continuing inquiry into Robert's finances. To Matthew, the evening was far too pleasant for such conversation.

They had returned to the rooftop table of their first meeting. The meal had been impromptu, the result of finishing up with the solicitor where they formally signed all the documents to create Downton Stables, Mary Crawley president. He had asked whether she was free for dinner as they emerged from the offices and walked down the steps to the pavement.

Mary was light-headed with excitement. Signing the papers had put it all out there for her. It was real. This was happening. She agreed to share a meal with Matthew. As long as she paid her share.

"Otherwise I think you'll take advantage?" She had teased. It had ever been a tactic of Mary's to keep up a banter in order to never actually discuss anything serious. It was one of her many layers of protection.

Matthew knew what she was doing. He just wasn't sure what he was up to. He felt drawn to her, pulled like a lodestone, a magnetic force unable to resist it's polar opposite.

"When can we begin to look at horses? Now that we've got the accounts and the paperwork has been signed I'm eager to get on with it." He decided on keeping straight to business.

Mary pursed her lips. "I've got one or two leads. Friends of mine from years ago have a mare they want me to see."

"You sound uncertain though?" He inquired.

"Hmmm…yes. It's just a nagging question of why do they want to sell? If she's championship potential, why aren't they keeping her?"

"That's a shrewd assessment. I see where you're coming from. How did you find Diamond then?"

"He was bred on the estate. At the time we had several horses. I grew up riding Diamond. We felt each other's moods. Sensed each other's timing. He was perfect." Mary's face became a flood of emotion. "I suppose you think that silly."

"No." Matthew said seriously. "I think it's the most open you've ever been with me. Thank you."

Mary smiled again. "You must meet him. He's still at Downton. He's got an entire pasture to himself. We had put him out to stud a few times, but not as he's gotten older."

"I'd love to." That dark tone again.

"As soon as you deserve it." Mary tried to quip again. "You know nothing about horses at all. You need to get used to way things are done."

Matthew smiled broadly and said "I've looked on line at the Fédération Equestre Internationale rules and regulations. Also I was going to inquire how will the new protective riding hat ruling affect you? Should I join BETA?"

"Impressive Mr. Crawley. I see you've done your homework. I won't underestimate you again." Mary took a sip from her wine glass.

Matthew's gaze stayed just a second or two too long on her face.

"I have time this week end. Lavinia is shepherding some students to Debyshire for a school trip." He tried to sound casual. Why was he feeling nervous about this? He wasn't doing anything but making an appointment to see a horse. "Maybe we could take a drive to see this mare?"

"The horse is in Warwickshire. Near Rugby." Mary informed him.

"My old stomping ground." Matthew said. "I know exactly where that is."

"You went to Rugby?"

"Yes. Why? It's not Eton or Harrow of course. But it is one of the better ones."

"That's not what I intended to imply. I know some friends who went to Rugby is all. Edith's beau Bertie Pelham included."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Pelham? He might have been a senior when I was just starting. The name rings a bell."

"Did you play?" Mary asked.

"Rugby?" Matthew laughed. "Only when required to for field games or such. I was a more into cricket and rowing I'm afraid."

"Henry played rugby for his local team. He never made it into the championship leagues. So he switched to racing."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Matthew responded darkly.

"He still plays casually, but it's not the same he says. The level of competition is just not the same." Mary tried to keep the conversation level, but she sensed Matthew's discomfort. As if he was being compared to her athletic boyfriend.

"I can well imagine." Matthew wanted to change the conversation. "Your mother is not at all as I would have expected. She was a backup singer for a punk rock band before she married?"

Mary gave him a wink. "Something my father doesn't like to mention, but yes. Her ill spent youth he'll call it."

"I can see where you get your boldness from though." Matthew ventured. "You are very much like your mother."

"And you? I know nothing about your family other than it's just yourself and your mother."

"We've a strong bond even though I don't see her as much as I should these days. She's retired back to Manchester. My mother has a clarity about her that I admire. She tells it like it is. I think you'd like her. My father and she were devoted to each other, very much like your parents." Matthew said.

"Looks can be deceiving." Mary said without thinking.

"I'm sorry." Matthew apologized. "I didn't intend to call up anything unpleasant."

"Nothing to worry about." Mary returned. "All in the past. But events in one's family have a way of influencing you whether you realize it or not. I'm very wary of long term commitments according to Henry."

Matthew swallowed hard. "Really?"

"He's asked me to marry him."

Matthew had been doodling the skyline again, but his pencil tip broke at that revelation. "Did you give him an answer?" Matthew asked far too quickly.

"I put him off."

"Good…I mean…if that's what you want." Trying desperately to sound neutral on the subject.

Mary looked up from her plate. She had deliberately avoided his eyes when she told him of Henry's proposal. She didn't know why, but she knew she would see a hurt look behind his eyes. One he tried to hide with astonishment or surprise. But she knew it would be there. For she had felt the same when she found out he was married. It was wrong, they both knew. Why they tried to hide it.

But it was there.

"I should marry him. We've been living together for a year." Mary felt at a loss. She did need to talk to someone about it. "Marriage was always on the horizon but yet I don't know that I'm the marrying kind. I'm far too stubborn. Heartless at times. My sister Edith can attest to that. I'd only make someone miserable."

"I doubt that." She hardly caught his whispered response.

"How do you know? You hardly know me."

Matthew's lips pursed as he contemplated an answer. "I know that if someone wants to marry you, it's because of those traits. Otherwise they don't understand you at all."

"Was it like that for you?" Mary spoke more boldly than perhaps she should. "Why did you marry?"

"We had been together about six months. I thought it was the natural next step. Neither of us saw the point in waiting." Matthew gathered his thoughts. "I wanted to get on with things. Lavinia did as well."

And that was the truth. Matthew had been hired on by the corporate law firm, but he was eager even then to find his own way in the world. He did not want to be tied down by clocking hours and gouging clients. Marriage would give him the kind of stability he would need from which he could launch his greater ambitions. He had been eager to move on into the next phase of his life. He knew that in marrying Lavinia it would draw him closer to her father, the president of one of the largest investment groups in London. But he told himself that was not the reason he had asked. He did love Lavinia. She was patient with him. Encouraging him to leave the firm and accept the position proffered by Reggie to oversee the new real estate branch operation. Matthew had thrived under the pressure, enjoying the acquisition of clients and properties all over London. He had noticed, however, the dark looks and cutting remarks of his fellow employees.

They had believed he slept his way into the positon he held. And there was no way for Matthew to deny it.

He had not thought at the time there was anything wrong in it. The two had come together at the same time. His relationship with Lavinia. The job offer from her father. It was only in later contemplation, that he realized the sniggering was the result of the belief that he had an ulterior motive for marriage.

No way no way to change that perception except to leave. Which is exactly what he did. Much to the chagrin of Reggie Swire who tried to talk him out of it. But Matthew had been determined, at the cost of blowing his chances completely, to start all over. On his own. He took no clients with him. Spending almost half a year studying the lay of the land of the current real estate market before staking his claim alongside Tom Branson in their start up in Camden Town. The whirlwind of success that followed had been beyond Matthew's dreams. But it was something he very soon took in his stride. The long hours, he would argue, necessary to any kind of ambitious venture.

But it had all taken more of a toll on his marriage than he was willing to contemplate.

He fell silent in the conversation with Mary.

Mary said, "We all think we know what we want when we're young. So eager to be older. But then when we are adults, it's damned scary. I want to sometimes just run away from it all."

"But then you remember the thrill of being on your own. Succeed or fail, it's all on your shoulders. I think you know what I mean. Like in a race, you know the time you have to beat. The hurdles your horse has to cross. It's all up to you." He looked up at her from under his eye lashes. "I think you like it."

"I think you know me too well indeed." Mary was nonplussed by his all-knowing look. As if she had revealed herself to him, without even realizing it.

"So what do you say? This week end? A drive to Warwickshire to see a man about a horse?" An eyebrow raised in case she said no.

Instead she nodded. "Pick me up at 9am. I'll telephone them to let them know we're coming."

A commitment made. Another step taken.

XX

Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, liking this story. I'm hoping to be true to all the characters. Not making anyone a cartoon ...or letting anyone off the hook. As always I love hearing from you.