A/N:

This one's a relatively short chapter – I've tried merging it with the next one, but found that didn't work out very well. So here we are.

WARNING: This one's dark.

Point of No Return

Lillia should have known that it wouldn't last.

They never again managed to reach that level of understanding and camaraderie they had shared that day on the mountain. Sesshomaru went back to being aloof and egocentric, and Lillia just had to deal with it.

Her only method of fighting back against his cold treatment was to annoy him with her emotions – Lillia could sometimes make herself sad or angry within moments, and she used this to rile him up. She knew it worked, too – the signs were subtle, but she was getting better at reading him.

They had crossed the mountain range they had sought shelter from the storm in into another part of the island. Since Lillia had absolutely no idea where they were, she couldn't tell if she had been here before, and they didn't come across anything she could use a as a "landmark" – which was how Lillia was able to find her way about, even many years later. She would (subconsciously) notice memorable things around her, and could later use them to reconstruct her path – be it while walking in the opposite direction or in darkness.

Since Kagome needed the well in Edo to travel back to their time, InuYasha and his group had to return there periodically, which limited the distances they could travel. Luckily for them, youkai or ningen stumbling upon the jewel shards would often come looking for the ones Kagome possessed, so that saved them the trouble of travelling all over Japan. Or wherever those shards had ended up when Kagome had shattered the Shikon no Tama.

The vegetation in these parts was still greener than on the mountainside, though Lillia had a feeling Autumn would come here soon, too.

Nothing out of the ordinary had happened ever since the thunderstorm, and Lillia was, once again, feeling totally lost in time. She didn't even know if her birthday had already come and gone, or if it was yet to arrive.

The sky was overcast, but thankfully, it wasn't raining, nor did it seem likely that it would. Sesshomaru and Lillia had stuck to their routine, as always, and nothing at all could have prepared Lillia for when Sesshomaru suddenly stopped dead. He just stood there, his posture rigid, and Lillia got the feeling that something was very wrong. Unsure what to do, she decided to just stay behind him and wait – it wasn't like she would be of any help in a confrontation, so it would be better for her to stay out of the way.

However, quite some time passed before the threat actually appeared – Sesshomaru had apparently sensed it pretty early. Lillia racked her brain trying to figure out what kind of creature could possibly be crazy enough to come after Sesshomaru – only to realise she'd had it all wrong.

Something came racing towards them through the air, and it took Lillia a moment to realise it was a cloud with a person sitting on it – a youkai, to be precise. Then again, Lillia had been fairly certain a human wouldn't have caused Sesshomaru to react in such a way.

The newcomer had golden hair and three vertical blue stripes underneath each eye. He was dressed in simple, yet elegant clothes, and Lillia figured he wasn't just some sort of vagabond.

The cloud slowed down as it approached, and vanished several meters above the ground. The youkai simply dropped down elegantly and bowed to Sesshomaru.

"Sesshomaru-sama. The illustrious Yuki-sama ordered me to track you down and invite you to our splendid castle in the clouds."

Lillia stared at the youkai, certain that she had misheard him somehow – a castle in the clouds? How was that supposed to be possible?

Then again, she was currently in the presence of two mythical beings, so maybe the idea wasn't so strange after all...

"This one feels disinclined to visit", Sesshomaru replied coolly.

"But, Sesshomaru-sama, it has been so long since your last visit!"

"This one does not care in the slightest. You may report back that I will do as I please, and visit whenever I feel like it."

"Will you not reconsider?"

"No", Sesshomaru all but growled. "Leave. You are annoying this one."

The other youkai chuckled.

"And we can't have that, can we?"

Lillia couldn't see his face, but she was certain Sesshomaru was glaring at the other male by now. Given the chance, she would have made a run for it much sooner – then again, Lillia had no idea what kind of relationship these two had, or who that mysterious Yuki was – she assumed the other youkai was inu as well, so Yuki probably was one, too. Lillia was a curious person by nature, and so it irked her that the inu's conversation yielded next to no information – and, given that most Japanese names could be used for both men and women, she couldn't even say if the person they were talking about was male or female.

Sesshomaru let out a low growl, which only caused the other one to laugh. Then, his gaze slid to Lillia.

"Well, this is certainly interesting – never seen a human with this kind of colouration before. Who is she?"

"No-one of consequence", Sesshomaru said, his tone positively dangerous.

Something within Lillia died.

As if not accepting her hadn't been bad enough, he wouldn't even admit to others that she was his intended – that hurt even more than anything else he'd ever hurled at her. Lillia fought hard to keep her emotions in check and to not show a physical reaction to Sesshomaru's cruel words, either, though she really felt like pulling her hair out and screaming at the arrogant prick.

The other inu took half a step back.

"All right, all right, I'll keep my nose out of your business. I was just surprised to see you with a human is all – we all know how much you detest them."

He turned on his heel and disappeared into the forest. Lillia wished the earth would open up and swallow her, or that a bolt of lightning might strike her down – these seemed preferable alternatives to this...

When Sesshomaru started moving again, Lillia followed in a stupor, her thoughts spiralling dangerously out of control. Part of Lillia's brain realised the potential for danger, and desperately tried to hold everything together, but it was too late – Lillia had started slipping again, and this time, there was nothing there to stop it – no anchor, no-one to catch her...

At the earliest convenience, Sesshomaru stopped by a human village to buy his human a straw hat. He had berating himself for not having come up with the idea sooner – the last thing he wanted was having to look after a sick human.

He had taken care to be as distant and indifferent as possible – ever since that day on the mountain, Sesshomaru had been adamant to keep her at arm's length. It wouldn't do to give her any ideas.

The human did not comment on his purchase, she just inspected the hat for any flaws and tried it on before tying it to her pack.

"Is there a miko in this village, by any chance?", she asked once she was done.

"There is."

"Really? Then why didn't she come running as soon as she sensed you?"

"Because this is my land. The people are used to inu-youkai coming here every now and then – besides, I have increased patrols ever since I became aware of the problem Naraku presents – I do not want that creature anywhere on my lands. I do not believe, however, that they know who I am", he added as an afterthought, giving her a meaningful look.

She nodded once.

"Got it. Well then, which way to the miko's house?"

"That way", he replied, pointing. "Why do you require a miko's assistance?"

"Female issues. I doubt you want to know the particulars."

Sesshomaru scoffed. While he was aware of "female issues" and knew about them to some extent, he wasn't keen on discussing them, especially not with her.

"Though so. Will you be coming along?"

"No. This one will wait by the southern exit of the village. Try to keep it brief."

"Will do."

She turned on her heel and started down the street in search of the miko's hut. As Sesshomaru made his way to the edge of the village, he kept his senses attuned to her – he doubted the miko would attack her, and her spiritual powers wouldn't work on a human, anyway, but it never hurt to be careful. He tried not to listen in on their conversation, though he was unable to tune every word out.

Resisting the urge to sigh, Sesshomaru rested his elbow on his knee. She had been gone for a while, but then again, this wasn't unusual – she liked to keep clean, and tended to get upset if she didn't get an opportunity to wash herself at least every two days. He didn't like it when she was upset (though he'd never tell her), and besides, he preferred it when she smelled clean. She still had some of the soap the miko Kagome had given her left, and Sesshomaru rather liked the aroma.

His beast chose that moment to rear its figurative head and whine. It started whining whenever it was displeased with Sesshomaru's treatment of the human, or his lack of interaction with her, so it had a lot to whine about. Right now, it supplied him with images of how nice it would be to join her at the river, to assist her with the cleaning process. She would be thankful. She might even smile at them. Look at them with kind eyes. His beast longed for that, but Sesshomaru ruthlessly squashed such notions. The creature now dragged up images from that night in the cave, during the thunderstorm. Even though she had been highly uncomfortable with the whole thing, and Sesshomaru's iron control wouldn't have allowed him to act upon his base instincts, his beast wouldn't let him forget how nice it had been to hold her to his chest like that.

Sesshomaru was determined not to give in to his base desires. She was human, and therefore unworthy. He had made this abundantly clear to her, too. His beast wouldn't allow him to leave her for any extended periods of time, but that creature's obsession with her didn't mean he would mate with her. No, she would spend the rest of her ridiculously short human existence tagging along after him, like a stray cat that had decided to follow him, one he couldn't get rid of.

Though it hadn't been her decision.

Sometimes, even a Sesshomaru felt the need to speak, mostly so because the human didn't understand his body language and the sounds he would make well enough to be able to interpret them correctly. During such short (and necessary) talks, he had caught a glimmer of what was hiding beneath that pretty face of hers. Apparently, she was intelligent, and well-educated – she would sometimes speak of things he hadn't ever heard of. Also, despite her simple clothing, she didn't look like someone who had grown up in a village among crops and cattle. Her skin was pale and smooth, and her hands soft – she could not have spent her life working, or travelling.

Sesshomaru had already caught her dinner for today, a small rabbit. He had at first hunted bigger prey, but she had never eaten much. Since he himself didn't need food as often as humans did, the rest would go to waste (or be eaten by scavengers). She was not impressed by big kills, either. To her, it was just meat, no matter how big or tough the animal might have been.

He always made sure there were no threats around whenever he let her out of his sight, and to scare off anything that might have been a threat to her with a powerful burst of youki. She had gotten used to such displays by now, and didn't even bat an eyelid. Her lack of awe at his level of power stung somewhat.

Sesshomaru was just pondering the unfairness of life in general and his unhappy fate in particular when the wind suddenly changed, blowing now from the direction of the river – carrying with it the scent of blood. Her blood.

He leapt to his feet the instant he had come to that realisation, and tore through the forest at inhuman speed. His beast was howling with rage and anger – someone had dared to attack what was theirs. As he closed in on the location the scent emanated from, he swore to kill her assailant. Slowly. And in the most painful way imaginable.

He emerged from the forest and came to an abrupt stop, taking in the scene before him. She was lying on the ground, her brown-golden hair fanned around her head like a halo and her left arm dangling in the cold water, a thin rivulet of red liquid, barely discernible, mixing with the water. She had removed her haori, but was otherwise still clothed – she had definitely not been doing any bathing, nor did it appear it had ever been on her agenda for tonight. Her right hand lay next to her head, this wrist, too, had been cut, and the weapon was not hard to spot – a pebble that had been sharpened, like a knife. And then there was the bottle she had acquired at a village a little while ago – pain medication. The miko who had sold it to her had warned her not to take too much of it at once, as it might harm her. The bottle was empty, and her blood smelled strongly of the potion. Apart from that, no other scents were lingering – no sign that anyone had been here but her.

Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat before resuming to beat at twice the former pace as he realised what that implied. She had sharpened the pebble and drugged herself, so she wouldn't feel pain before cutting her arteries... she had attempted to kill herself.

His beast howled in pain and grief as it became aware of the fact, and Sesshomaru was shocked – not something he experienced often.

Does she detest us so much she would rather be dead than with us?

Her eyes were open, and she was staring at nothing. Her heartbeat was slow, but she was still alive – her body was fighting to stay that way. Snapping out of his stupor, Sesshomaru rushed to her side and dropped to his knees next to her. She blinked before focusing her blue eyes on him.

They stared at each other wordlessly for a few moments, then she licked her lips before attempting to speak.

"You're here..."

Sesshomaru didn't really know what to say to that. She had obviously been planning this, maybe for a while now. And she'd been rather good at hiding her intentions, he had never suspected a thing. He had known she was unhappy, yes, but nothing had ever hinted at the fact that she might be suicidal. Granted, he didn't know that much about her, but he had never caught such a vibe coming from her. And now, she was dying.

She completely took him by surprise when she lifted her bloodied hand to cup his cheek, her eyes softening somewhat.

"It is almost over... I've done it. I've rid you of that bothersome, annoying human... now, maybe... maybe you, at least, will be able to find happiness..."

She smiled as she spoke those words, a genuine, caring smile. It broke his icy, cold heart – the heart he had, for so long, believed to be incapable of caring – of loving.

Her eyelids drooped and fluttered shut, her hand falling back towards the ground and coming to rest on her stomach, her blood staining the white fabric of her gi red. Her breathing evened out, it was as if she was falling asleep...

"Lillia!", he called, not even trying to hide the desperation in his voice. "Lillia!"

She didn't respond in any way.

This was the first time he had ever referred to her by her name – he had never asked for it, either, he only knew what she was called because her former travelling companions had addressed her as such. He had always called her "woman" or "human", even in his mind, fearing he might develop some sort of attachment by using her name. But apparently, this "precaution" hadn't been enough.

He wasn't sure if it was because of the blood loss, or the potion, but she was slipping away, and it was all his fault. He realised with sudden clarity that he had brought this upon himself – upon them. He had forced her down a path that had led her to the decision to end her own life – because that was the only way she could be free of him, and he of her. It was all his fault, and he so wished at this moment that he could turn back time, or undo everything he had done concerning her.

He was faced with two options right now: save her life and face her anger while attempting to gain her forgiveness, or let her die, so she could have the freedom she desired, condemning himself to a life of bitterness and torture – for his beast was already giving him a taste of the madness that would ensue once she was truly dead.

Should he be selfish? Could he be selfish? He had always done as he pleased, but he had never been in a situation like this. And, even if he decided to keep her around, she might just try to kill herself again. Tenseiga would only work once on her, so he would be unable to let her out of his sight ever again...

A/N:

Nice cliffhanger, right? I know, I'm evil.

The last part was taken out directly from "Alone Together", though I had to adapt some passages to tie it in neatly with the narrative. I hope I managed that all right.