Another viewpoint...
XX
Matthew peered into the darkness. The rain splattered against the windshield. He put his hand up to wipe away some condensation.
Of course it was raining.
It only served to darken his mood further. The drive back to London from Downton had been horrible. The storm came up as soon as he hit the M1. Huge droplets pounded angry on top of the car. He considered pulling over to a layby to wait it out or even pull off the motorway and find a hotel for the night. But he wanted to get back to London. It was already too late to go home. It would have to be another night at his club. He had a packed gym bag with some clothes in the stowage space.
He needed to get home. To tell Lavinia. But it was so late. He couldn't wake her up just to confess his indiscretions. To seek atonement.
To tell her he was leaving her.
It was too cruel a thing to do at 4am in the morning.
And he had treated her cruelly enough. It was time for it to stop.
The decision had been made at the dinner with Robert. That fucked up dinner where he had been the unwitting and unwilling confidante to Robert's dirty secrets. He had been blindsided by it.
His business instincts were out of whack. He should have seen that as a possibility. That Robert was paying off some private reckless behavior. As if that was the answer.
Matthew rubbed his chin in anger.
Instead it only caused more problems. Hurt more lives. Left things unspoken.
He would not do that. Not to Lavinia.
So he kept going. Pulled into a space beside the University Club. Got a room and a shower. Set his mobile alarm for 7am and fell into a troubled slumber.
It went off at 6:40am instead. A call from Tom.
Matthew fumbled and answered the call.
"Tom?" His mouth felt dry as a bone.
"Matthew. Sorry to wake you so soon but you never answered my texts from last night. We've got a go on the Woolgate project. We take a meeting at 10am." Tom's Irish lilt was edged with nervous excitement.
Matthew's eyes opened wide at that. He swung his legs off the bed. "I had a late dinner last night and the rain was torrential on the M1. I haven't looked at any messages. I'll be right over."
"Should I call anyone else in? Mika was involved." Tom reminded him.
"Yes. Yes get her in. We all need to be ready." Matthew clicked off and finished dressing in the jeans and tee shirt. He had extra suits and shoes at the office. He'd change into something more appropriate if necessary.
He sighed. He just could not go home and leave immediately again. Whatever he had on hand at CB Properties would have to be enough.
This project had been on for the past year. In coordination with the developers and owners of Woolgate Commons, CB Properties had been in the running to get the rights to let all the office space of the newly built London skyscraper in the heart of the City of London.
It was the biggest coup for their small company that they beat out some major property developers. Mika Jones had been instrumental in using just that presumed drawback to their advantage. That in working more closely with the owners, they could get the right tenants at the right price. They'd give it their full attention rather shunt it off to a secondary unit of their corporate center. They were a young company but savvy to the modern needs of the City.
Tom had backed Mika as the lead on the project. And he was right. They had been considering making her a partner if the Woolgate succeeded.
There was much to discuss today. He needed to pull it together. He had always been the facts and figures expert in the company. He had to get to the spreadsheets and finalize the numbers to give to Edward Crabtree, the owner of Woolgate Commons.
Matthew grabbed his bag and threw it in the back seat and drove the few blocks to SW1. His head wasn't in this. He was still muddled from the events of the night before.
Of the decision he had made regarding his life and the future of his relationship with Mary. What arrogance, he suddenly though. As if his decision would have any direct bearing on her life. She had her life well in hand.
Perhaps he'd only ruin it.
Perhaps he'd ruin all their lives.
It was a crippling feeling. That accepting the truth of one's life would hurt the lives of others.
Matthew pulled into his space and turned off the key.
He just knew he had to do it.
Tom met him inside. "We're going over the last minute details of the presentation." He took in Matthew's casual clothes. "Did I catch you going to the gym?"
Matthew mumbled "Something like that. I'll change while you're still setting up. Are they coming here or are we going to them?"
"Crabtree is sending over a team of people. They'll want us to go with them to the site after." Tom opened the door to their office space.
"Really excellent work Tom." Matthew praised his partner. "This could be the breakthrough we've been seeking. To get into those City markets." He turned to face Tom. "I mean it. You and Mika have outdone yourselves."
"It was your idea to begin with." Tom reminded him. "Part of your plan to expand CB while keeping our independence."
Matthew frowned suddenly. "Something I need to talk to you about…"
Tom arched an eye brow. "The potential of a merger with Swire Inc because of your new position? I wondered when you were going to bring that up."
Matthew paled. Yet more fallout. Tom's future, Mika's…his entire company's future in his hands.
"I've not made any decisions yet. Especially not regarding any kind of merger. We need to talk that out." He eased Tom's mind on that fear. "But not right now. Let's not do or say anything that will interfere or complicate this deal. We've waited too long. I promise that my decision regarding Swire Inc will not counteract any agreement we make today."
Tom was relieved. "Aye. One thing at a time. I'll see you in the conference room." Tom took a right turn down the hall as Matthew unlocked his own private small room with en suite bathroom. He pulled a suit out of the closet and found a matching pair of brogues. He shaved first and then donned the crisp white shirt. The textured silk Armani tie finished the look Matthew wanted to present. He combed and slicked his hair back in front of the bathroom mirror.
The ritual of dressing giving him time to transition his thoughts solely towards the business deal at hand.
First impressions with Crabtree had meant CB Properties had a chance with this deal. Matthew had got on well with the terse spoken man. He said what he meant and meant what he said, Matthew remembered the older man saying. Talk straight to him, he'll talk straight back.
And Matthew had.
Now it was all coming to fruition. He had to get his head in the game to finalize the deal. Tom and Mika's work would not be put at risk because he was in dumps about his private life.
He shut the door and made his way to the conference room. This could be the beginning for them all.
XX
"Mika you nailed it in there." Matthew congratulated the stylish young woman they had hired two years ago. "I want you to take the lead in the tour of Woolgate with the Crabtree folks."
"Thank you Matthew." Mika did not want to let on any nervousness in front of her boss, so she faked cool confidence. "It's well in hand. I'll have the marketing packages available to give the representatives from Crabtree once you're finished uploading the numbers."
"I've got Cyn on it right now." Matthew said, turning into his office. "We'll have them before you go."
He pulled his tie loose and got down to work on the excel sheets.
Within a couple hours he had the leasing numbers ready to include in the package. He handed off the details to his assistant Cyn Rogers. Tom and Mika would walk around the space with the iPads handy with the figures in case anyone at Crabtree wanted details.
Matthew decided he would cut out and go home. Edward Crabtree wanted a private session and tour with Matthew the following Wednesday, so Matthew was not needed today.
He had no real idea how to bring up what he had to say. The bald truth being his only recourse.
Matthew pulled into the space reserved for his car next to Fulham Green. Lavinia was home as her Rover crossover was in the small drive next to their house.
He bit his lip.
Was he sure about what he was to do?
He looked at his left hand. This was not how he intended to play out his marriage. They had such a rough patch just the previous year as he worked all hours and they had barely seen each other.
He had promised to do better. And he had. He had found a balance between work and private life as he allowed Tom and then Mika to take on some of the business that he had insisted upon doing himself in previous years.
All three balanced each other's talents and it meant even more success for CB Properties.
And then he met Mary and his life changed. He had not meant for it to happen.
But it had. And there was no getting around it.
He was smitten. In love head over heels with Mary. Every time he looked at her he knew it. His body was no longer his own.
It belonged to her.
And that meant only one thing.
He had to come clean to Lavinia and ask for a divorce. It was the only honourable thing to do.
How fatuous was that? He would sound a right prig saying that. His head bent against the steering wheel.
He was about the face the worst part of himself.
Better to get on with it. He lost his grip on the car door as he opened it. His hand was shaking. He closed it behind him and walked the path to his front door. It suddenly occurred to him that he'd never stay another night in this house again.
XX
It was preternaturally quiet in the house. No music, Matthew realized. Lavinia usually worked with her playlist on. She always preferred instrumental pieces when she graded.
"Did you just get home?" He asked throwing his keys in the bowl.
"I finished up a meeting about half an hour ago and picked up some shopping." Lavinia's voice drifted in from the kitchen.
Matthew walked in to see her stirring a pot of pasta on the Aga.
"I wasn't expecting you back so soon. Your text said meetings all day." She turned to see Matthew take a seat at the window facing table. He was pale. "Are feeling well?"
"Can we talk?" Matthew pulled a chair out for her. "Sit down."
And suddenly Lavinia knew what about to come.
Lavinia put the pasta in a strainer and walked over to the window. Matthew was thrumming his fingernails on the table.
They looked at each other a long time.
"Matthew what is it? Please just say it." Lavinia sat opposite her husband. "Say what you need to say."
He cleared his throat and met her pained eyes. "I want a divorce Lavinia. I don't think we should be married anymore."
Lavinia had thought in her younger years that if she was ever to be discarded in love, the floor would open and swallow her up.
Or more recently that she'd go on a murderous tear and rip out the leather seats of his precious Porsche.
Instead she felt neither rage nor fury.
She felt numb. "Why?"
Matthew's fingered thrummed harder on the surface. She had every right to ask. "I can no longer honour the vows we made."
"Because?" Her voice ice cold.
His lips pursed while his eyes closed. But he opened them again because Lavinia deserved to be looked in eyes. "I am in love with someone else." He said it with as steady a voice as he could manage.
Lavinia wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being surprised. "The woman in your drawing? Mary Crawley?"
Matthew's eyelids blinked rapidly. "Yes."
"How long has this gone on?"
"I didn't want to tell you before. It's not what you might be thinking Lavinia. I'm not having an affair…"
"Well that is good." Lavinia's sarcasm was biting.
Matthew deserved that. Twat that he was. "I met Mary at that business dinner for Grantham LTD about four months ago."
"Before Dad died, yes. I know. The night you never came home and the next day the picture was in your book." Lavinia knew even then that drawing meant more to Matthew than he let on. Tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. She willed them away.
"I had hoped I was wrong. That it was a passing fancy." Lavinia shrugged. It really wasn't in her husband's nature to be casual about women, so she knew this passion was otherwise.
"It...it was never my intention to hurt you." Matthew's voice quavered as he answered.
"But you did." Lavinia answered baldly. "And here I was thinking I'd lose you to work as your mistress." Because he would not humiliate her with an adulterous affair. That was not Matthew. This meant only one thing to Lavinia. That Matthew was truly in love.
"Don't do that…" Matthew was floundering.
"Do what…?" Lavinia snapped.
"Pain yourself by making me say things that will only hurt you."
"The truth should never hurt." She replied barely above a whisper. "Did you ever love me?"
Matthew shrunk into the chair. His cheeks flamed in shame. "Of course I did. I do. I do love you."
"Just not enough. I love you very, very much, and I wanted to marry you from the first moment I saw you. I should have known better. You did not love me as much."
Matthew could not deny the truth of that statement. They both knew he was not as passionately in love at the time of their marriage. "I wanted too…" He struggled to put words to explain.
"But you wanted to know my father as well." Maybe the voice in the back of her head at the time was right, Lavinia thought. That Matthew did cold bloodedly court her for what he could win as a result of an alliance with her family.
"That's not the way it was." Matthew protested. "I think you know me better than that. I never manipulated you into anything. We get on very well."
"So the last four years have been a waste?" Lavinia struggled to speak. She was so angry that she was just supposed to take this without a fight. She didn't know what she was fighting for though, as it was clear Matthew had made up his mind. "I know we wanted different things. You had ambitions I did not share. It's not in me to be Queen of the County."
"It's not been a waste." Matthew was spluttering now. "I can't accept that. We've had a good marriage. I don't want to ruin it."
"But you are." She spat back. "Have you had sex yet? With her?"
"No." His voice shattered.
Lavinia glared at him.
"We kissed." He admitted. "Nothing more."
"When?" Her steely gaze was unnerving. Matthew knew that look required the absolute truth from him.
"Why do you want to do this?"
"When?" She asked again.
"The day of your outing to Derbyshire. I went to see a horse with Mary in Warwickshire. I'm… I'm helping her start a business." He had nothing to lose now. All cards on the table. "I did not go into it expecting to have happen what happened. But it did. I kissed her."
Lavinia absorbed that information. "The day of my Dad's car accident? Is that why you arrived at the hospital so quickly? It never occurred to me ask before."
Matthew groaned inwardly. "Yes. I was less than fifty miles away. As soon as I got your call I left to see him."
"You were very good that day. I don't know what I'd have done without you." Lavinia reached for his hand. It was clammy. She suddenly no longer wanted to argue with him.
Matthew leaned forward. "I wanted to help. I'm so very sorry about what's happened. I never meant to hurt you. And yet here I am, in the middle of your grief, injuring you again."
"Is that why you've been so reluctant to take the inheritance?" Everything was falling into place.
"I don't want to live a lie. I felt it would only get worse if I did not say anything."
"So we just end things?" She was shaking now.
"I don't see any other way." He gripped her fingers.
"Does she feel the same?" Lavinia gazed into his troubled eyes. Eyes she used to think belonged only to her.
They darkened. "I don't know." His jaw tightened. "I think so. But it's not fair to you to stay when my feelings have altered. You deserve better."
Lavinia sat back in the chair. "Where will you stay now?" Her decision made. "I want to stay here."
"Of course. I can sort something. In the office listings. I'll collect a few things. Come back for the rest later." Matthew dolefully responded.
It was done.
"Will we sell?" Lavinia enquired. "I don't want to be here when you come back for your stuff. It will be too hard. I'm going to be at a teacher conference in London in a fortnight. Come then."
Matthew agreed. "I think you need to consult a lawyer. I don't want to tell you anything about the house. It's your decision. I will sign the lease over to you."
Lavinia cleared her throat and wiped away the tears that formed at the sides of her eyes. "I see. I know there's a lot more to discuss. I don't understand how this will affect Dad's will or your shares but I can't do anything right now. I've still got marking to do that must be done by tomorrow. It will be all I can do to get that done. Will you please go."
Matthew withdrew his hand. She released it from her grip.
"I will." Matthew stood up. She obviously wanted him not to be anywhere near her. "I'll be just a few minutes."
She nodded without looking at him. Matthew left the kitchen and walked upstairs to the bedroom where he threw some personal toilet items and clothes into a leather traveling bag. He had no idea really what to take. How do you remove yourself from a life?
He gave up and pulled the bag over his shoulder and walked back down the stairs.
"I'm off now." He blurted out, unable to think of anything to say.
Lavinia appeared silhouetted in the door of the kitchen.
They gave each other one last look and Matthew was gone.
So that's the way a marriage ends… Matthew thought. He shoved the bag into the passenger seat and got back into the driver's side. She could still take him to the cleaners in any divorce settlement. He'd have to arrange with his lawyer Michael Raskin to find someone specializing in divorce. A divorce petition and decree nisi were the next steps. After they sit down to iron out a settlement then they would proceed with an undefended divorce as neither he nor Lavinia would fight the petition.
The grounds would most probably be unreasonable behavior. Lavinia could no longer live with him as a result of his confessions. Lavinia's lawyer might try for adultery. Especially given that they've already separated and Matthew has admitted to having feelings for another woman. Admitted to a kiss. It was fairly obvious that more was desired.
A woman he could not resist.
A woman he did not want to resist.
Matthew threw the car into reverse and maneuvered down the street. He needed to get back to the office to search the listings for a small flat closer in to the office. Tom was to meet him at the Red Lion pub at the corner for a meal.
He needed to tell Tom because it would affect their business future. Even though Lavinia had put off any discussion about Matthew's inheritance, he knew what he had to do.
Rummaging through the listings he found a furnished two story walk up near St. James he could wangle a short term lease on as it was empty pending sale. Calling up the leasing agent, he did the deal and drove over to get the key and throw his bag inside. He needed to shop for some things but all that could be done later. The agent promised to set up the electrics and internet for him so it would all be done by time he returned later in the evening.
He started to telephone his mother. But he put it off for another time. He felt awful as it was. Hearing her disappointment would be too much. He'd just have to gather his thoughts to show her he made the right decision.
Matthew met his business partner at 7pm who had already ordered two pints for both of them.
"Thanks." Matthew took a long pull. "I needed that more than you know."
"Are you finally going to tell me what's up?" Tom asked. "You've been walking around in a fog all day."
It would be the first time he would say it. "I'm getting a divorce. I've left Lavinia." Matthew said it with the finality it deserved. There was no going back now.
Tom sat in stunned silence until the penny dropped. "You left Lavinia for Mary didn't you? Sybil told me about your interest in Mary's new stable. She doesn't really trust you by the way."
Matthew arched his eyebrow. "I gathered that from the interrogation I got while at dinner at Downton last night. She suspects I'm leading her sister astray?" He snorted. "I doubt either of those women could be so led."
Tom knew the truth of that. "To the Crawley women." And he lifted his pint.
Matthew drank to that.
"On a more serious note," Tom leaned on the table. "Are you sure of what you're doing? You and Lavinia have had troubles before and got past it."
"It wasn't the same thing." Matthew answered. "It was about me working too hard, not being around enough. It was a strain yes. But this is different. I can't stay in my marriage. My feelings for Mary are too strong. It's not fair on Lavinia."
"Does Mary love you too?" Tom asked bluntly. "You already made sure of that?"
Matthew's lips pursed in a frown. "No. I've not asked her."
Tom almost spit out his ale. "You've not asked? You've just left your wife for her."
Matthew's response was careful. "I left Lavinia because I could no longer live a lie. Any life I might have with Mary is quite separate."
"Spoken like a lawyer." Tom observed.
"I have to get one of those." Matthew pulled on his cheeks with his hands. "And we have to talk about some potential fallout of this divorce petition."
Tom was ahead of him. "You're not taking control over Swire. I know that already."
Matthew nodded. "I can't take it. It was given in a spirit of fidelity to Lavinia. To the Swire family. I obviously fall short in that department." Matthew took another pull from his glass.
Matthew did feel a hint of manipulation in Reggie's will, or a challenge knowing Matthew's proclivities for such. And it was quite a prize. A huge corporate entity with its tentacles in many different ventures all around the globe. He would confess that under different circumstances he might have taken it on. Accept Swire's test of his ability and become CEO of a major corporation at 34. But he had not earned it on his own. And being given something was not how he wanted to succeed.
His best offer, to show that Swire's trust was not lost on Matthew, was to tell Lavinia he'd accept a temporary position as interim CEO to hold things over until another could be chosen. He'd turn over all shares in the company to Lavinia at that point so she could do with them as she wanted. She'd be rich beyond anything he could ever offer her.
"I can't really tell you more. It's up to Lavinia. It was quite possible her lawyer will tell her to take me for everything. Not just Swire, but take CB Properties as well."
Lavinia had it in her power to ruin him. Tit for tat. Revenge. Whatever… anything was possible. She might play on his guilt in any kind of settlement, knowing he'd be likely to give her what she wanted.
He held out hope that she would not. The only thing he intended to mediate would be to hold on to his business with no split.
That was a sobering thought for both Tom and Matthew.
"You have every right to hate me." Matthew told Tom squarely. "You might have become very rich with a merger with Swire. I can still put in a good word for you, or anyone at CB that might want to jump into this opportunity."
"That's good of you Matthew. I'd expect nothing less than that. You're a good man, but no. I think I'm happy just where I am. I'll spread the word but I don't think anyone wants to leave. We're a good tight bunch. We'll succeed on our own terms."
Matthew was appreciative. "Thank you Tom."
The two men sat in easy silence afterward. Matthew's mind whirled at what he had just done.
XX
Matthew's schedule was full nearly every day. He hardly had time to think and he liked it that way. Raskin had recommended a divorce expert. Matthew had yet to see Joan Hunt, but he had crossed the Rubicon and there was no going back.
The following fortnight flew by in a whirl of activities.
He could hardly take it all in. He was not just mincing legal words when he told Tom he considered his divorce from Lavinia separate from any answer on Mary's part. He could not live with Lavinia any more given his change of heart. It was not fair to her. He believed she would be fair in any settlement. They were to meet in a settlement mediation once Lavinia's lawyer had a chance to analyse all of their joint holdings.
But as to his regard for Mary, he knew what he felt. A love that threatened to burst through his chest. He had no idea how he would go on without her in his life. He knew he should feel more of a sense of shame and guilt about this love. But no one was master of their own heart. It led the body where it wanted.
And it had led Matthew to Mary.
Did she feel the same?
His stomach did flip flops at the thought that she did. He believed she did. But doubts had crept it. That she would not want a man who had behaved in ways potentially dishonourable. That she thought he was real cad who used her most ill.
That she was truly in love with her boyfriend.
That made him take a hard pause. He'd just have to find out.
Mary had sent him an email reminder about the York Riding Show. It was in about a fortnight. She would leave him a member's enclosure badge at the entrance tent if he decided he wanted to go. She had signed just her name.
She gave nothing away.
Did she really want him to go?
Three weeks after the initial phone call confirmation that the leasing was theirs, Tom and Mika finalized all the details. That week was crazy at CB Properties as the Woolgate deal was in its last stages and Matthew's detailed data needed to be checked and cross checked before the final offering of retail space rental leasing agreements was accepted by Crabtree. They would have to hire one or two more estate agents which also meant he and Tom were interviewing all week.
Matthew, Tom, and Mika met to finalize that the eager candidate Marla Rasgotra was a perfect fit for their company. As was Nick Peters, being of an older generation and giving the young company an air of old world gravitas. At least that what Tom said in an attempt at humour on a Friday afternoon.
"If you two don't mind," Matthew glanced at his watch. "I will leave you two to give the good news to Ms. Rasgotra and Mr. Peters. I have to be somewhere."
"We'll take them to dinner to celebrate." Tom said. It had become a tradition to do that with new employees. Making them feel a part of the firm, rather than just staff.
"I'm off then." Matthew put his mobile in his pocket and picked up his iPad. "I won't be back in touch until Monday at the earliest."
Tom gave him a questioning look, but just said, "Have a good time."
Matthew gave a small smile. "I hope to."
He had made up his mind to go see Mary. He wanted to see her ride at her first competition since her heartache at the London Olympic trials. Jellybean's first real test of her abilities. Matthew had become so invested in this adventure. He wanted to see it all for himself.
And to see Mary in her element was not to be missed. Just the image of seeing her astride the thoroughbred putting the animal through her paces across the countryside made him want not to miss a minute of it. So he changed clothes in his private room across from his office and drove off down the M1 once again.
Matthew arrived around 3:30 after clocking a speed that had him glancing in his rear view for any hint of the road police. The Porsche performed and he made it into the car lot in time to hear the announcement that more riders were out on the course. He rushed over to get his badge and made his way into the Show. It was a bit disorienting with all the tents and people rushing about to find the best view of the course. He spotted the hospitality tent and Members Enclosure to his right. That was supposed to have a view of the main arena and grandstand seating.
The last people he wanted to bump into was the Crawley clan. He and Robert really had nothing more to say to one another. And he did not want another grilling as to his intentions regarding their sister from Sybil or Edith.
He wanted to see Mary. He glanced to where a crowd gathered shouting names of support. He walked over and felt the throbbing sensation of the horses race by. He tried to distinguish Mary or Jellybean. He thought he saw her distinctive red and blue riding helmet, taking its colors from the Downton standard.
"Mary." He said as another raced by him. It was definitely her, making her way to the headland and the next series of jumps. It was the closest she'd ever be to him again.
He felt a jolt of such love and joy and happiness. She was truly in it to win it. Focused, controlled, and with a game face that took in nothing but the quarter mile in front of her. She easily flew over the ditch obstacle.
"Go for it." He said through gritted teeth. The other riders followed her, throwing him back as the horses powered by. His fisted hand crumpled the Show catalogue.
Matthew leaned out to see if he could follow Mary's progress but she disappeared. He made his way around the tent again when he heard the announcer say "A rider was down" and "An ambulance was being called for."
No one knew who it was. It could be any number of riders who had made their way around the bend and onto the outer portion of the course. He asked several officials who gave him a worried look, but shrugged their shoulders. They wouldn't know until the ambulance reached the rider. Or the others finished the course.
Matthew made his way back to the stables. His badge as co-owner of Jellybean allowed him access. Riders, horses, stable hands, officials, and other owners all rushed about. There were several stables to inspect. Matthew got lost at one point and walked through the same set of stalls twice. Got mixed-up again finding his way back and walked into a stable he didn't think he had checked out when he heard Mary's voice.
"I was out on the course as well when it happened." She was speaking to a horse groomer.
"I know." The man replied. "We all thought it was you. Glad to see it wasn't, given it's your first day back. You did well today."
"Thank you." Mary sounded so relieved to Matthew's ears. "It's very good to be back."
He stood rooted to the spot. Just so relieved to see her. Whole. Intact. Not carried off on a stretcher with a cervical collar protecting the potential for paralysis. That image had plagued him since the initial announcement. He had encouraged Mary to return to competition. He'd never forgive himself if resulted in her injury. Or death. He paled at the thought.
His breath was hot. He could hardly hold it together. She was alive. She was fine.
He walked over to her slowly. She was brushing Jellybean down. He loved watching this ritual. He came up behind her.
She knew he was there. He felt it. She turned.
"Matthew." Her words soft. "I didn't know you were here."
"I…" He stumbled. "I only made up my mind at the last minute to come. I ...I wanted to see you ride."
Matthew couldn't help but rove his eyes over her face, her body. The jacket was open to the protective vest. He noted her breeches were splotched with mud from the course. She had dug in hard and performed so well. "You were magnificent."
"You were watching?" Mary asked giving him a questioning look. "Did my family see you?"
"No…No. I watched from a distance." He reassured her. He knew she had kept their relationship a secret. "And then I lost you around the bend at the embankment. That's when I became concerned when the announcement was made. I rushed back here but got lost trying to find Jellybean's stall."
Matthew wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Then her next words pulled him back to reality.
"Why are you here? You said we couldn't be friends." She pulled away from him slightly.
It cut him to the quick. She needed an answer.
He was ready to give it. No matter her response. He needed to say the words.
Matthew leaned into her ear. His hot breath making her shiver. "I don't want to be your friend Mary." He licked his lips and finished what he came here to say, "I love you too much to be just that."
He heard a sharp intake of breath as she looked at him searchingly. "You love me…"
Her lips parted as her words took his declaration.
And he knew what to do. He pulled her towards him and brought his lips to hers. She met him with equal ferocity. He pulled on her lower lips, tugging it with his teeth. His tongue slipped around her mouth as her lips pulled him in towards her body.
"What…" She pulled away again. "What does this mean…"
He was incapable of speech after that kiss. Matthew's hands enfolded around her face. He caressed her cheeks.
Mary's eyes never left his. She leaned into his face. Her hands came around his own, her fingers touching and stroking.
He kissed her again and she moaned lightly as her body shivered in response to his movements. He could lose himself completely. But first he needed to know.
He let go of her face. Of her lips. Pulled away, lamenting already the missing space between them.
"It means whatever you want it to mean." He said.
"What about…?" Mary's eyes narrowed. Was he playing games with her. "Your ring is missing again."
"I'm separated and in the process of getting divorced." He swallowed thickly. ""I love you. I want to give us a chance. I think you feel the same about me." He looked at her, suddenly nervous. "At least I hope you do."
Mary curved into his body. She felt his heart, beating fast. "I do, Matthew. I do too."
Matthew sighed in exhilarated relief. "Good." And he placed dancing, lingering, wispy kisses on her lips. "Can we go somewhere?"
Her hands came up to straighten his mussed locks of hair. "I have to finish grooming Jellybean and see my family. But later…"
"Later…" His bated, hot breath on her face.
"Later meet me at Downton. Mama and Papa are taking the train to London straight from here. They're to spend the week end. No one will be at the house as Papa always gives the staff the week end off when he closes the house to tourists." Mary's cheeks flamed at the thought of her invitation.
Alone with Matthew all week end at Downton.
What would they get up to?
A sly smile escaped his lips. "Should we?"
She arched an eyebrow. "Be completely inappropriate?"
"I would love to be completely inappropriate with you this week end." Matthew's silky tone implying both intimacy and a hint of mischief. He brought her gloved hand to his fingers and took it off, kissing her inner palm before putting it around his neck.
He felt the thrum of her body in anticipation. Her brown eyes dilated from his touch.
"Let's do it." Mary's husky response as his lips once again engulfed hers.
XX
tbc- I hope you like Matthew's perspective. Views? Thanks for all the feedback. I love it.
This is a fictional story based on fictional characters and is not meant to bear any relevance in the real world.
UK divorce law...as this web site explained it to me. All mistakes and exaggerations are mine... but I thought
Basically, when a couple divorce (or seek a dissolution of a civil partnership) a court can, and very often does, divide up the matrimonial assets, his, hers and theirs, in any way it sees fit. Within the context of a divorce the process of resolving financial issues between the parties (transfers of property, maintenance etc) is referred to as "ancillary relief". Regardless of whose name the property is in a court may order it to be transferred to the other and this applies to all property owned either by husband