A/N: Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Thanks to all who are reading, and bigger thanks to those who left a comment, and again, even the negative ones, since they have been based (so far anyway...lol) on what is happening in the story itself. I do want to know the good and the bad. And plus I don't exactly disagree with the angry reviews. Nathan and Peyton are absolutely being 100% selfish and thoughtless at this point...lol.
...
The abrupt way he sat up, practically pushing her off him in the process, was extremely disturbing to Peyton, and when he swung his legs over to his side of the bed, turning his back on her, it was even worse.
"I take it you hate the idea," she said cattily.
"Of telling Haley and Lucas about us?" he scoffed. "Yeah. You know we can't do that."
"Because...?"
He turned his head enough to throw her a look that indicated she should know the answer to that. "Because...you know why. Do we really have to talk about this right now?"
"I think it's worth a conversation, yeah. And when do you suggest we talk about it?" she asked him. "After they find out on their own?"
Elbows on his knees, he buried his head in his hands, heaving a deep sigh for the discussion he didn't want to be having. Why couldn't she just leave things alone? He was perfectly fine with things as they were. Why couldn't she be too?
She came up behind him, her hands running up his back to his shoulders, massaging the tight knots she found there.
He let her do it for several moments as they both remained quiet, each waiting for the other to say more.
She placed a soft kiss to his shoulder blade. "Don't you want to be together without having to sneak around?" she asked him.
"Sure I do," he returned, standing up and beginning to dress.
She followed suit and soon they were both fully clothed. "But?" she questioned.
"But it's not that easy, Peyton," he told her, already getting frustrated. "There's so much at stake here. It's not gonna go down smoothly like in our fantasy stories where they just immediately forgive us. They're called fantasy for a reason, because it's never gonna happen like that. They're not gonna just...be cool with finding out we've been fucking for the past three months."
His word choice was infuriating, not to mention disheartening. "Fucking? Really? Is that all it's been for you?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "No, but you know what I mean. The point is they're going to react different than in our made-up fairytales. Once we tell them, our marriages are over."
"You say that like I'm some idiot who couldn't possibly understand the consequences of our actions."
"No..."
"I've been thinking about this a lot, Nate," she cut him off. "And I'm ready to face those consequences to be with you openly and without shame. Apparently you're not."
"You don't know what you're asking of me," he replied. "I can't lose my family, Peyton."
"You can't lose yours," she snapped. "I have just as much on the line as you do, Nathan."
"Which is why I don't understand why you want to do this. Isn't Lucas supposed to be the love of your life?" he questioned. "Your soul mate? Are you ready to say goodbye to him for good? Because that's what's gonna happen. Once he finds out, he's never gonna forgive you. Or me."
"I do realize that," she said a little sadly. "But we both knew the risks when we got into this."
He sighed loudly. Yes, he'd known the risks. But he was thousands of miles from home and had chosen to ignore them.
"The worst damage is already done, Nate," she went on, softly now. "We've already betrayed their trust. They just don't know it yet."
"Well, why can't we keep it that way?"
"Because Nathan, we both know this is wrong."
"We also both know it's gonna crush them if they find out. Apparently you're good with that."
"No, of course not," she returned hotly. "But they'll be even more crushed if they find out some other way."
"There's no guarantee they'd ever find out," he said.
"No guarantee they wouldn't either. Especially with the paparazzi on our heels half the time."
His response to that was a deep growl and he started pacing the room.
"Nathan," she pressed.
"What, Peyton?" he snapped. "I hear you, ok? But..." He let out another deep sigh. "You can't expect me to just up and walk out on my family."
"Your marriage, Nate," she corrected. "Jamie will still be your son either way."
He shook his head. "But his parents splitting up is still gonna affect him. See, you're lucky with that. Sawyer's not old enough to understand."
She grew quiet for a moment. He had her there. "So you're going to stay in an unhappy marriage for Jamie's sake? Somehow I don't see that as the best thing for anyone, including him."
"It's not really an unhappy marriage though," he told her. "I mean, we have our problems sometimes, but it's mostly my fault. Haley, she's pretty much been my... lifeline since we were sixteen. She's always been there to help me through everything. Because of her I've never had to face anything alone." He stopped pacing now and continued. "I've put her though a lot in the last ten years. I'm pretty sure breaking my wedding vows would be the last straw for her. I don't think I can do it."
"You already have, Nathan. Haley not knowing about it doesn't make it any less a fact. You walked out on your marriage the day you started sleeping with me."
The comment made him unreasonably angry. "Oh, listen to you. You're Miss Innocent, right? I don't remember having to twist your arm to get you in my bed."
"No, you didn't," she admitted. "But, unlike you, I didn't risk my marriage on a meaningless fling. You should know that."
"Unlike me?" he centered on. "What? You think I'm just killing time here with you?"
"From what you've told me tonight, it seems so, yeah," she screamed. "Clearly you never meant to take it further since you obviously have no thoughts of leaving your wife."
"I didn't even know you had thoughts of leaving your husband," he shouted back.
"Really?" she scoffed. "So you assumed I'd be satisfied with this arrangement indefinitely?"
"I didn't think about it at all," he declared. "I thought you and Lucas were happy."
"Like you and Haley."
"It's been pretty smooth sailing for us since the Renee thing last year, yeah."
"Only because she doesn't know about us, Nathan."
"My point exactly. Why ruin a good thing?"
"But are you truly happy?" she asked him. "Because there's a big difference between being happy and not being unhappy."
He didn't answer her. He wasn't really sure how.
"Okay," she yelped. "You know what, Nathan? You're right. Lucas and I were happy. Until I went and fooled around with his ass of a brother! And now I can't even imagine staying in my marriage, knowing how many vows I've broken to be with you. But if you think you can do that with Haley, pretend like nothing's happened, then by all means, you go ahead and do it. Just know that I can't."
"Peyton..."
"I'm still gonna confess my part when I go home next weekend," she told him. "Lucas deserves to know the truth. All of it, but don't worry I won't go that far. I'll leave your name out of it."
With that she snatched her purse and headed toward the door.
"Come on, Peyton, don't go," he called out to her. "I do want to be with you."
"Oh, I know you do," she turned to say. "But the problem is you want to be with Haley too, and it doesn't work that way, Nathan. You don't get to keep your wife and your mistress. It's either me or her. If it's me, then call me and I'll rush back here. If it's her, then I guess we're done. Oh, and for the record, the way you explain your feelings for Haley sound a lot more like gratitude and dependency than love."
She slipped out the door with that, tears running down her cheeks as soon as she closed the door, and even more as it became clear he wasn't coming after her.
He plopped himself down on the nearest chair, rubbing his face with both hands and listening to the click of her heels as she walked down the hallway, until the sound was no more. He wanted to run after her, pull her back in and convince her to stay with him. He almost did.
But instead he called Haley
...
Lucas sat on the couch beside a sleeping Sawyer when Brooke barged in the front door, a look of pure panic on her face. "Ok, I got here as fast as I could," she said, out of breath. "What's the emergency?"
Lucas shot up quickly, shushing the brunette so she wouldn't wake up Sawyer.
"Don't shush me, Lucas Scott," Brooke ordered, though she'd lowered her voice to a whisper. "You're the one who left an urgent message on my voice mail."
His eyes squinted as he gazed at her in wonder. "Did I say urgent?" he asked. "Because I don't recall saying urgent."
"You implied it," Brooke returned.
"Did I? I don't think..."
He was cut off his remark when Brooke pressed a number on her phone to play back his earlier message.
'Brooke, hey, you think you can come over here after work? It's Sawyer. I...please just come as soon as you can.'
Brooke threw him a stern look as his expression turned to mild guilt. "You were saying?"
"Ok, yeah, that definitely implied urgent."
"Right?"
"But in my defence, I was frustrated and desperate, and if I meant it to sound like an emergency, I would have said come now."
"Yeah, not helping, Broody. Do you know how many speed limits I broke getting here? Not to mention, I pulled a P. Sawyer and ran a red light, and ran half a block in these shoes because I couldn't find a closer parking spot with all the damn construction going on," Brooke whisper yelled. "All because I thought something terrible had happened to Sawyer. Now, what do you have to say for yourself, Lucas?"
"Uh...sorry?"
She smacked his chest hard. "Sorry? No. Do you have any idea how hard it is to run on gravel in six inch heels?"
"Can't say that I do," he answered, humor in his deep blue eyes and a smile playing on his lips.
"Don't you laugh, mister. You really scared me!"
His face went serious then, and he placed his hand over his heart. "I'm sorry. Truly."
"Ok, that's better," she said, kicking off her shoes and coming further inside. "Now tell me, what's the urgent sounding non-emergency?"
"Nothing crucial," he assured her. "Just trying to get some writing done, which is nearly impossible with a two year old running around, getting into everything, taking temper tantrums. I put her down for a nap, she cries. I make her food, she throws it. I put her in her play pen, she just gets out. She's too big for it now, obviously. My editor wants two chapters by the end of the week, and I'm trying my best but there's no time. By the time Sawyer goes to sleep at night, I'm so exhausted, I'm ready for bed too, and I'm trying not to show my frustration with her, but..."
"Ok, Luke, Luke, breathe," Brooke instructed him. He was never one to ramble so she knew he must be at his wit's end. "What do you need from me?"
He took a deep breath as she said and gazed at her sheepishly. "I was hoping you could take her for a few hours, just so I can, at least, get my chapter outlines done, but she just fell asleep so...I'm sorry. I should have called you back to let you know not to bother."
"First of all, it's no bother. I love that little girl, Luke. You know that."
"Yeah, I know, but you worked all day and..."
"Actually, I bark orders through most of it," she said. "I so love owning my own company," she went off topic. "But anyway, second of all, you do not have to wait until you're ready to pull your hair out to call me. I'm here for you, Lucas." Looking away from his intense gaze, she added, "What are friends for, right?"
He nodded his head. "You're right. I know."
"Of course I'm right. I'm Brooke Davis, I'm always right," she boasted. "But seriously, Luke, you have me and Haley and your mom, and a bunch of other people who are willing to step in and help out. It's not wrong to take advantage of that."
"Yeah, except you all have full time jobs that you go to in the day," he said. "God, it was so much easier before Peyton went to L.A."
"Ever consider investing in a daycare?" Brooke asked him. "You'd have the whole day to concentrate on your writing and the evenings and nights with Sawyer."
Lucas shook his head. "Can't afford it," he said. "Not while paying the mortgage here and Peyton's hotel in L.A., plus her flights back and forth every other weekend. The measly pay cheque she gets as a beginner artist barely covers her rent and food, and the proceeds from my first two books are covering the other expenses, but those are starting to dwindle. I have to get on this third book, or else find another job."
"So you're saying Peyton working in L.A. is actually costing you more than she's making?"
"For now, yeah. Until she gets established, I suppose. Once that happens, we should be fine."
"Luke, if you guys are struggling financially..."
"I'm not going to ask you for money, Brooke," he declared. "We're ok. We're getting by. We just have to forgo the extras for now."
"Ok, but if you do need money, don't be afraid to ask. I'm sure Nathan and Haley would say the same thing. Lord knows, they have more than they'll ever need. I know they'd be happy to help out."
"So do I, which is why I haven't told them any of this," Luke said. "I don't want them feeling obligated to support the older brother."
"Luke, that's silly. They're family. And you're only older by three months."
"Still, I don't want to bother them with this. This is mine and Peyton's problem, not Nathan and Haley's."
"Luke..."
"Brooke, we'll be fine, alright. We're not starving yet."
She nodded. "Ok," she conceded, no match for his male pride. "So I don't suppose I could interest you in going to L.A. with me either?"
"You're going to see Peyton?"
"Uh huh, booked my flight for Wednesday," she said elatedly. "I'm gonna surprise her."
Lucas smiled at her enthusiasm. "Well, as much as I'd love to go see her, I have to pass. Unfortunately, it's not in our budget right now, and before you offer to pay for it, thank you, but no."
"Huh, it's for the best. I want Peyton to myself anyway. Lotta girl talk to catch up on."
"You know Nathan's there too," he pointed out. "And they've been hanging out a lot."
She shrugged carelessly. "He can deal for two weeks."
"Is that how long you're there?"
"A week and a half, actually. Yeah, I leave Wednesday, and I figured I could come back next weekend the same time as Peyton."
"And she doesn't know you're going?"
Brooke shook her head vigorously. "She has no idea. I mean, she knows I'm planning to go at some point."
"But not Wednesday."
"Exactly! She's gonna be so surprised. I can't wait to see her face!"
The increase in Brooke's volume was enough to wake the little girl on the couch. "Aunt Brooke!" Sawyer exclaimed. Okay, it came out more like 'Et Book', but that was alright. Everyone who knew her could understand her perfectly.
"Hey, sweetie," Brooke returned, scooping her into her arms. "Me and you are going to hang out a little bit while your Daddy gets some work done. Sound good to you?"
The child smiled and nodded, her little blonde ringlets bouncing wildly.
"Me too. We're gonna go shopping. It's gonna be so much fun."
"Go shopping," Sawyer repeated.
"That's right. Say bye bye to Daddy."
Lucas and Brooke both laughed when Sawyer merely waved at her dad on her way to the door.
"Hey," Luke protested, picking his daughter up. "Hug and kiss first."
The girl obliged and then immediately squirmed to be let down.
As Brooke helped her with her shoes, Lucas came to stand by them. "Thank you for this, Cheery."
"Anytime," she answered. "Well, except Wednesday to next weekend, that is."
He chuckled. "Hey, do me a favor?" he asked. "Another favor?" he amended. "Don't bring her back with a new wardrobe. Her closet's still overstuffed from your last shopping spree."
Brooke lifted a shoulder. "Sorry, no promises," she returned with a dimpled smile before scampering out the door with Sawyer.
The door closed and he laughed softly. He could just imagine all the new clothes and toys they were sure to come back with.
...
Peyton sketched frantically in her sketch pad, all the while wondering if she was really cut out for this. She was feeling very down on herself.
Down that after all the efforts she'd put into her sketches this week, her manager had dismissed all but two of them.
Down that he'd said the two keepers were great, but the others any mediocre artist could have drawn. Definitely not her best, he'd said. Of the dozen sketches she'd had two weeks to produce, it was disheartening to learn she'd have to redo eight of them, plus the two she had yet to start. She'd thought she was ahead of the game, having a full week still to work on the last two.
And she was down because it was Wednesday, three days since she'd given Nathan her ultimatum and she hadn't heard from him since. She supposed that meant he'd stuck with his decision to remain in his marriage. She wasn't really surprised, considering how long they'd been together. She'd been foolish to think he'd ever leave Haley for her. Even more foolish to consider the possibility that he could ever love her as much as he loved Haley.
She was an idiot to entertain the idea that he'd developed feelings for her again as she'd done for him. Yes, as much as Lucas meant the world to her, as much as she'd always loved him, she, unfortunately, had fallen head over heels in love with his brother.
She didn't dare tell Nathan so. She was afraid to. Love had never been a part of their vocabulary with each other. Not when they'd dated in high school, and not over the last few months. The furthest he'd ever come to revealing any emotion for her had been the few times he'd told her he'd always have feelings for her, and that was way back when they were teenagers.
She'd thought - or rather hoped - that he was just scared too. But she had to conclude now that it wasn't fear holding him back. He simply didn't love her. It made her glad she hadn't told him the extent of her feelings.
She looked up from her sketch when her hotel door suddenly swung open and the object of her thoughts, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
Tossing aside her sketch pad, she automatically checked the blinds to ensure they were closed. They were. "What are you doing here?" she asked him. They'd agreed this wasn't a safe place to meet. "Did anyone see you?"
"No, I've learned how to dodge the press by now," he said.
"Could have fooled me," she countered. "Considering all the media attention we've had lately."
He shrugged indifferently. "You don't see any naked pictures of us out there, do you?" he pointed out. "And to answer your first question, I'm here because I wanted to see you. I miss you, Peyton."
She didn't say anything back.
"Okay," he said definitively.
"Okay what?" she asked.
"We'll tell them."
Her expression clearly indicated her shock. "Really?"
No sooner had he nodded his head was she in his arms, hugging him tightly, taking his compliance as her sign that he truly did care and wanted to be with her.
"I just need to ask for one thing," he said.
She pulled away apprehensively. "What's that?"
"Time," he said. "I want to wait until basketball season's over," he said.
"You're stalling."
"No, I just don't want to do it over the phone or in a voice mail. It should be face to face."
She nodded agreeably. "Okay, yeah, you're right. It should be. It's what? Five weeks?"
"Six."
"Okay," she told him. "In six weeks we tell them," she said firmly, feeling good about that decision, not even considering the possibility that he was lying through his teeth. "And in the meantime?" she asked.
He lifted his shoulders uncertainly. "That's up to you."
She sent him a flirtatious smile and pushed him backward against the wall, bringing her lips to his for a fiery kiss.
He kissed her back and let her fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt. Just six more weeks of this. He'd have to make the best of it.
...
Meanwhile, Jamie came and plopped himself heavily on the couch beside Haley, who was currently grading papers.
She heard her son sigh deeply and glanced over at him. "What's the matter, kiddo?" she asked, seeing he looked quite desolate. "Why the long face?"
"Dad didn't come online yet," he answered with a pout. "He's late."
"He'll be on," Haley assured him. "I'm sure his practice just ran late or something."
"I guess," Jamie said, still looking down. "But then I'll get less time to talk to him."
"Yeah, but you can make it up next time, right?" she asked in an attempt to console him.
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"Besides," Haley went on. "Your dad will be home in six weeks and you'll get to talk to him all the time."
"But I want to talk to him right now," Jamie countered. "We always Skype at this time."
"I know you do, honey. But, you know what? I'm betting if you went and checked again, he'd be on," Haley replied confidently.
"You think so?"
"I do."
"Cool. I'm gonna go check right now," he said, scurrying up to his room where he had his own computer.
Haley chuckled as she watched him speed off, but she wasn't smiling when he returned about a half hour later and told her his dad still hadn't logged on. "Oh, you know what this calls for, don't you?"
"What?"
"Ice-cream!"
"Yes!" he exclaimed in return.
"I thought you might like that. So why don't you go scoop us each a bowl while I finish these papers?"
"Ok," he agreed and was off.
Haley shook her head and picked up the landline once Jamie had disappeared into the kitchen. She dialed Nathan's cell and waited for him to pick up, cursing under her breath when she got his voice mail.
'Hey baby,' she said into the phone. 'Just calling to say you missed your Skype session with Jamie and he's really disappointed. I know you're probably really busy and everything, but he looks forward to these talks with you so if you can get yourself to your computer, that'd be great. Love you.'
She ended the call, not knowing at the time that that was just one of several messages she'd leave her husband that night.
Jamie returned with the ice-cream and she gave him a sympathetic smile. "Thanks sweetie," she said when he handed her one of the bowls. "And listen, don't be sad about tonight, ok? Your dad wants to talk to you. He's just super busy right now."
...
He plunged into her in one swift motion, a deep growl escaping his lips at the sensation of it. They'd moved to the bed now, and he was atop her, inside her, pressing his full length in and out as she met him thrust for thrust, her hands running down his back, her legs wrapped around him, cries of ecstasy falling from her full, sensual mouth.
"Oh God, Nathan," she moaned as they continued their steady, rhythmic motion for several minutes. "Faster," she pleaded, her body arching up to meet his.
Gasping for breath, he raised himself up to his knees, gripping her hips tightly, and increasing the tempo. He groaned again, feeling his own release creeping up. "I'm gonna cum," he told her breathlessly, speeding up even more.
He closed his eyes, almost there.
His fingers dug into her hips. He was so close.
She writhed beneath him, her moans getting louder.
Any second now he was going to explode. He groaned from deep in his throat.
He was there, ready to spill. His body tensed in preparation. But instead of that sweet release...
"Surprise, P. Sawyer! I'm here!" And then...
"Oh. My. God!"