A/N: Okay, so… I know the vast majority of you don't care about this part, but the Oregonians do… so I'm going to clarify. If you don't care about the history, please feel free to step past the bold into the story.

I figured out where my confusion came from. When Edward originally travelled the trail it was even more primitive than it is now (now being 1848, when I have them travelling). There were only two "stopping" points, one of them being the Willamette Valley. Oregon City is IN the Willamette Valley, but at the point I had Edward ORIGINALLY travelling the trail, it was not a city yet...hence the destination is listed as the Willamette Valley.

In 1848 your options were more diverse as more routes had been figured out. The main options were as I laid out: Sacramento, Salt Lake City, Oregon City (The Willamette Valley), and the Rogue River Valley (Southern Oregon, essentially). The oldest route, the classic Oregon Trail, is the route to Oregon City. It is MUCH longer and more dangerous than the route to Southern Oregon. We're talking a fair number of extremely steep hills and mountains (where it was easy for your wagon to tip or break) and about a billion more river crossings, including the Columbia which had to be rafted (those of you who played the game remember what a pain in the ass that was… I always drowned).

The route to Southern Oregon (The Rogue River Valley) was known as the Applegate Trail and was available to travel after 1846. Incidentally, the folks who surveyed that trail did it because they lost two children to the Columbia River and wanted to find a safer route. It's a lot easier and MUCH shorter, not only due to distance but to difficulty.

Anyway, long story really short, as I was researching and trying to figure out timelines and places our travelers would encounter, I liked the idea of the Rogue River Valley and the Applegate Trail more. So eventually, I forgot that Edward would have settled in the Willamette Valley originally… That's my bad, but I really can't take it back at this point. All the places that have been mentioned in recent events are from the Applegate Trail, not the Oregon trail. The Applegate Trail diverged from the Oregon Trail at Fort Hall. We're going to fudge a bit of history and pretend Edward was ahead of his time in settling in the Rogue River Valley. Don't worry, Oregonians. While I'm sure the Willamette Valley is indeed more fertile and better than the Rogue River Valley, the Rogue River Valley isn't a barren wasteland either. They'll all do fine there.

The barren stretches of land of the Black Rock Desert and the surrounding valley gradually gave way to trees and mountains again. It was late summer, and despite the sun that beat down on them-no longer as unforgiving as it had been in the desert-Bella liked carrying baby Jacob against her in his sling. The damp feel of his warm body against her too-hot skin seemed like a small price to pay, especially in this odd half-life she was living. They all suffered for the good of the group and did what they could.

"Bella, are you sure you don't mind?" Rosalie asked for what had to be the hundredth time. She was still pale and tired easily, but she was a full-functioning member of the party again. She had spent near on three weeks lying in the back of the wagon as she recouped, useless to do much but feed the baby. She'd been mobile for another three weeks, and she was even more eager to help now than she had been before. Bella couldn't blame her. Even before Jacob's birth she'd been large and ungainly. It had taken all her energy simply to keep up with the pace of the wagon train and stay on her feet all day.

"I don't mind," Bella said, cradling the baby close to her.

Alice appeared and she hugged Rosalie about the waist. "Let her take care of him. They get on well, and she needs the practice."

Rosalie snapped her head in Bella's direction. "He didn't… You're not…"

"I'm not," Bella said, her cheeks burning bright in embarrassment.

"You could be," Alice said. "You were terribly ill two nights ago."

"I didn't cook the roots we picked enough. Edward specifically said they had to be cooked well, and that was all I ate."

"No matter." Alice looked to Rosalie. "The point is, you had your baby brothers to care for. Bella hasn't had the benefit of being around a baby." She looked back to Bella. "Even if your little stomach upset is the result of a few bad leaves, I've seen the way your husband looks at you. Mark my words, this time next summer you'll have a babe of your own in your arms."

Bella ducked her head and made a fuss of rearranging the sling about Jacob's form so she wouldn't have to look up. "Anyhow, Rosalie, I'm fine with Jake. I know you want to spend some time with Vera and the boys." Peter and Henry were alternately clingy and angry these days, and they had proven themselves to be a handful.

Rosalie stepped close, reaching into Jacob's hidey hole to caress her son's downy head. Bella knew she was still reeling from her father's death. They all were, but smiles were beginning to come easier, especially around the baby. "They're worth the struggle," Rosalie said. "Bella, if you think you're going to have a baby, you should tell us. It would be all right. I know I've said a few things about you and Edward, but I wouldn't be mad if you were. We'd all take care of you."

"I'm not," Bella insisted again, and she hoped she was telling the truth. She knew exactly what would happen if the family thought she was going to have a baby. They would make her rations more filling while the rest of them got their already meager portions cut again.

"Well, fine." Rosalie hesitated a moment, but then she offered Bella a small smile. "I can see he loves you, your husband. I still think he's a horse's ass for what he did, but he does his best to take care of you."

Bella sighed, but she smiled. "I love him too." Even after ten weeks of marriage, she still felt shy about admitting it to anyone but Edward. She was glad, though, that Rosalie had said something. The other woman's disapproval had lasted longest, and Bella was tired of feeling judged.

"More's the better," Rosalie said. She pulled the sling up higher around the baby, protecting him from the sun. "Be good, precious boy. I'll be back soon. I know you'll be hungry. You might actually be worse than your father that way."

Not long after Rosalie had gone to help Vera get ready for another day, Edward reappeared. He'd gone to fill their canteens and make sure their water supply was brimming. Though they were past the desert now, they were all well aware of what a precious commodity water was. The few days it had taken to cross the desert had been harrowing to say the least, and though it had been a boon to have so many oxen up to that point, keeping them all cooled and watered had proven to be difficult. They'd had to camp for a day to let the oxen rest and rehydrate when they finally got to water again.

Bella accepted the canteen, moving awkwardly to put it in her pouch while not jostling the sleeping baby too much. When she looked back up, she found Edward staring, an unreadable expression on his face. Her cheeks flushed and she patted at her hair, as useless as that motion was these days. "What are you staring at?"

"You." He stepped closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. He put his other hand around her and the baby, tilting his head against hers with a soft sigh. "This is a good look on you, Bella, and as long as I was alone, I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea I can have this some day. With you." He stroked the baby's back, his smile tender and wondering.

Shy, Bella turned her head so she could press a kiss to his neck. The idea still seemed surreal to her. Motherhood wasn't something she'd contemplated before she found herself married to Edward, and out here on the trail, it was difficult to imagine what their normal lives would be like. Her life before seemed like a distant dream, and her life ahead was one big question mark. After all, Edward had been on the trail so long himself he couldn't tell her what their lives would be like, what would be expected of her.

Still, bonding as she had with baby Jacob, Bella was getting used to the idea that no matter what the rest of their lives would look like, this was a part of it. Someday she would have a child of theirs in her arms.

"Some day." She pushed his hair away from his eyes. It was getting so long. They all looked so bedraggled and dirty. As Edward had told her months ago, even Carlisle was supporting a ragged beard and scraggly hair. "Some day when we have four walls and a bath all our own. Oh, Edward. Do we have a tub?"

"If we don't, we will. A proper stationary tub. That's what you want?"

She sighed and leaned against him. "That sounds heavenly."

"You are easy to please, aren't you?"

Bella hummed, content to rest against him for a few more minutes before they had to be out on the trail again. Edward was quiet, and Bella misread the tense set of his shoulders. She was becoming accustomed to how worried her husband always was. She couldn't really blame him. Out here, where they could not be sure their supplies would last long enough to get them where they were going, there was always something to be worried about. This, however, turned out to be something different.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you understand if I had to leave you with your father for the winter?

A bolt of shock went down Bella's spine, and she raised her head to look at him. His eyes were cautious, begging her to understand. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Where will you be?"

"It's another five days travel from where your father lives to where I'm settled, near as I can figure." He spoke slowly, as though giving her time to process what he was saying. "It's been about three years since I've seen my home with my own eyes. I have no idea what condition it's in. Plus the sharecropper who's taking care of my land for me right now has his own family moved in at the moment. The way I figure, we'll have perhaps two months before winter sets in good and proper, assuming it doesn't come early this year like it did last. I can make some headway making it a livable home in that amount of time."

"That makes sense. What I'm not following is why that leaves me with my father for the winter."

There was a hint of exasperation in his tone and expression as he looked back at her. "Bella," he said as though she should already know the answer.

Most days, Bella was proud and happy to be Edward's, and he hers. Sometimes, though, it struck her that she had no idea how to be a wife. Popular wisdom was she was meant to be biddable and obedient. It was likely many women would have been aghast at her behavior, questioning her husband's decision and arguing with him on top of that. But the twin lumps of anger and fear had taken residence in her throat, and she found she couldn't hold back, though she did her best to keep her tone calm. "It makes sense that you want to get things in order, of course, but I can be of help."

"I already told you; I have no idea what we're bound to find when we get there. I have no idea if there's a livable situation for a wife."

"When you say that, all I hear is you have no idea if there's a livable situation for you. What are you so scared of that you worry about bringing me?"

"I'm not scared of anything. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Then there's no reason I can't come with you."

Their argument was interrupted by the call of "Wagon's ho!". Edward and Bella fell into step together. The silence gave Bella far too much time to think, and the more she considered it, the angrier she got. How dare he try to leave her behind?

"It's likely the sharecropper I left it with has built it up some," Edward said after a tense few minutes. "But who knows to what. There may not be much in the way of room."

She fixed him with a sour expression. "Well, mercy. We may have to sleep on the floor. Heaven knows how I'll manage, seeing as I've spent the last five months of my life sleeping on a bed made of feathers."

That seemed to catch his attention. He tilted his head, staring at her even as he kept moving forward. She stared right back. "You're fit to be tied, aren't you?" Edward asked.

"That's an understatement if ever I heard one."

"Why are you this angry? I knew you wouldn't like the idea, but you're upset with me."

"Of course I'm upset with you!" Bella started as the baby in the sling stirred and whimpered with her shout. She huffed and rocked him in her arms, taking deep breaths so she was calmer when she spoke again. "Didn't you promise me you wouldn't make the same mistake twice? Yet here you are, planning on leaving me to wonder and worry again, to wake up without you."

"Whoa. Darling, this isn't remotely the same thing."

"No, I suppose it isn't. Then you were looking to be gone one day at most. Now you're talking months. Months, Edward, while I have to think of everything that may have happened to you."

"Nothing would happen to me. Honey, this isn't the same thing. I'd be five days away in settled territory. There are people around. Settlements with supplies. You would know exactly where I was."

"I still don't understand why I can't be with you."

He gave a small growl. "Bella, as it is, I haven't given you what you deserved. You deserved to be courted properly. Your father should have given me permission to court you because I had earned that right in his eyes, because I was even remotely good enough for you. You deserved to be doted upon, spoiled with as many gifts as caught my eye. And then, when we did wed, you should have had an extravagant wedding. Those are all the things I already didn't give you. A man shouldn't bring his wife to a home in shambles. Can't I give you that one thing?"

Bella was quiet. To her, the idea was foolish. She understood the circumstances of their marriage very well, and she never would have blamed him for the steps they missed. More than that, she had no need to be spoiled, and might not have liked being the center of attention at an extravagant wedding such as Rosalie had.

However, she had seen enough of men in the city and how they puffed up with pride when their wives had the prettiest dresses and most modern homes. She'd heard Emmett grumble with dissatisfaction that he'd had to bring his bride to his father's house, though it would have been silly of him to buy a home of his own when they were already planning to move out West.

Edward thought he was failing her as a husband because he had been unable to provide her these niceties. What she wanted was for him to realize he made her happy, and she had no doubts he would take care of her. But could she give him that small satisfaction at the price he was asking?

As she'd retreated into her thoughts, he had begun walking further away, as though giving her space. He was moping. She could tell by the way his eyebrows were knitted together. She checked to make sure baby Jacob was secure and content in his sling before she moved to Edward's side to take his hand in hers.

"I understand why this is important to you," she said. "But I need you to understand something. You've seen this journey, this trail come to an end. You know where you're going, and you know there's a life after this." She gestured around them. "What I'm hanging on to right now is that this journey is almost over. A few more weeks. Another month, perhaps, and we can stop. What you're asking of me is not to let this journey end. Because it won't for me. Not if you're still out there wandering. Not if I can't see with my own eyes that you're safe, warm, and fed."

Then it was his turn to be quiet. She gave him the same space to think, but she kept her hand twined in his, hoping he would understand. There were many who would tell her it wasn't her place to ask this of him, and she knew there was every possibility he would dismiss her feelings entirely. He'd done it to Maggie after all, not out of cruelty of course but because it fell to him to make the right choices for their family.

After many minutes, he sighed. "And yet, if I left right away for my home and took you with me, I would take you away from the father you haven't seen in years."

Bella's heart gave a painful twist. The closer they got to their destination, the harder it was not to think about how much she missed her father. Though she'd been frightened at the harrowing prospect of so many months of walking through the wilderness, she would have braved anything to get back to her father again.

"Could you not stay with us for a time?" Bella asked in a small voice. "Perhaps if you stayed until spring, it wouldn't feel as bad."

At this he smiled. "Stay? You mean in your father's house? You think I'm safer there."

She held her head up straight. She was sick to death of feeling as though they'd done something wrong and shameful. She loved this man, and her father would know she was proud to be his wife. "You would stay with me in the room I was supposed to live in, of course. I know it's not ideal, but it would be just for the winter. And then if you still didn't want me to come with you in spring, I would understand."

Again they lapsed into silence, but after a moment he tugged her close to him for a quick squeeze. "This is what I'll promise you. I'll wait until after I talk to your father before I make a decision. If he allows me to stay, I may make one trip to my own land, a quick trip, and I'll come right back. At least then I'll know what needs to be done."

Bella smiled and hugged him again. "Thank you."

Edward grunted, but he ran his hand up and down her spine for a brief moment before they had to separate so they could keep their pace. "This may all be a moot point. Your father may well shoot me and that will be the end of it."

A/N: Many thanks to baburella (YOU'RE A WAGON HO) and songster. I know it was a shorty chapter, but we have a lot to cover next time around!