Blame Hurricane Matthew for the delay... I certainly am for ruining my trip plans to New York Comic Con...😏
XX
"How are you not even breathing hard?" Mary stopped for a minute. They had been going full out for over five miles completing the circuit and coming up on the gravel drive behind the Abbey. Mary had just managed to run that distance without wishing to collapse in a heap on the ground very recently. She thought she had been fit before hiring Geoff and that it would be easy to get back into habit of strength training. But he soon put her right. Doing yoga and an aerobic workout was just not the same. He had upped her regime to add even more cardio-respiratory in order to build endurance.
"You don't seem so out of breath." Matthew observed as he jogged ahead and then turned around, running in place.
"But I feel it." Mary replied, stretching to remove a kink from her neck. "I'm just now getting to where it doesn't burn. But that has taken months. You already have a cross fit regime?"
Matthew came over and massaged her shoulder. She moaned most pleasurably at his ministrations.
"Nothing organized. More of my own devising." He said, as he took the opportunity to slip a kiss along her cheek. "I told you I rowed right?"
Mary, getting of inkling of where he was going, replied, "Yes. So you incorporate that." What she did not say what that explained his ultra-lean low body fat torso she admired most of the night. His ripped muscles were tight but not overly done like someone who lifted weights.
"I must say I approve." And she slipped her arms around his waist. They kissed.
Matthew tilted his head slightly and pursed his lips in agreement. "I row in London when I can, along the river. I'm a member of a rowing club. I also have … er…" He paused awkwardly, "… had a rowing machine at the house. It's in storage now."
Mary understood the awkwardness of his temporary living arrangements.
"Mostly I just use the ones at the gym. Give it a good couple hours. That and swimming. Sometimes I run."
They started to jog alongside each other back towards the house. "Were you any good?" Mary asked, curious about his sporting achievements. "Any Olympic expectations yourself?"
Matthew demurred. "No, that never really came into the equation for me. I was very competitive at uni. I rowed for Oxford in the Boat Race."
"The one with Cambridge?" Mary knew of it of course. "I went with some friends to cheer them on at Chiswick Bridge. When did you race?"
He glanced at her through slitted eyes. "I won't ask for what side you cheered. I raced in 2002 and 2003."
Mary was more than curious now. "Did you win? I'm sorry I don't remember…."
Matthew smirked mischievously. "Of course we did. We won in '03 by only a foot. The closest ever."
"So you do get it." Mary was excited to learn this about Matthew. "The competitive drive."
But for a reason she did not quite understand Matthew's expression grew dark.
"Is that what drew you to Henry?" Matthew asked, a sudden shiver traveled up his spine.
His words stopped her cold.
"I…" She was caught short by his observation. "I would say it was a part of it. He was a rally car driver. It was exciting."
"Until he stopped." Matthew's words coolly observed, if barely spoken.
"I…" She didn't quite know how to answer him. "Perhaps." She finally admitted.
Matthew gave her a hard stare.
Mary blurted out. "It's nothing to do with you."
Matthew made an effort to agree. "Of course not." But he changed the subject. "Let's just finish this out, shall we? I'm famished. After we shower, let's get some breakfast on our way back to London."
He walked ahead to open the door for her.
Mary's eyes closed as she hesitated just a couple seconds longer, then followed him inside.
Matthew's look was not one of jealousy, which she might have expected, but cold fear. It swept his face for only a second for he hid it again under a mask of disinterest. But it was there. And she didn't want to live like that again. With masks and facades and pretending to care. Or not to care.
With Matthew she felt free. And he felt the same.
She was sure of it.
They had been on the brink of something so wonderful, and was her hesitation with the truth with Henry threatening to ruin it?
Matthew had already gone upstairs to shower so Mary put on the coffee machine to make them some for the drive back to London. She had asked Matthew to drive her back in the Porsche as she had promised her father she'd help with interviews for her permanent replacement but wanted to leave her car here at Downton.
The machine groaned into action and she was about to see if there were any sandwiches in the refrigerator left by Mrs. Patmore, when she heard the side French door in the adjoining room open.
And a voice she knew all too well rang out. "Hullo!?"
Henry.
Fuck! Henry was here…Mary's eyes ballooned. Henry was walking into the house.
Why hadn't she secured the lock? What the hell…
"Henry," Mary attempted a cool answer even as she scurried over to the hallway out into the main saloon to see if there was any sight of Matthew.
Oh God. He was still upstairs.
"Where are you?" Henry's voice was getting closer.
She rushed back into the kitchen. "I'm just in the pantry." Mary's hands tossed Matthew's thermos behind her own. As if that would help, she thought. She shot a glance around to see if there were any other incriminating items that indicated she was not alone.
She then stood casually by the kitchen island.
Henry walked in. "I was in the area and thought you'd be here since I rang the flat and you didn't answer. You can be so off the grid when riding so I've stopped bothering texting you…" Henry's tall frame took up most of the doorway.
"Well I would have liked some forewarning anyway." She hastily replied, snapping her head around to greet him.
He walked up behind her. "Then it wouldn't have been a surprise…" And he tried to kiss her neck.
She stiffened instead.
Henry gave a sour look. "Mary what have I done now?"
But before she could dream up a reason for her erratic behaviour, another male voice drifted in from the distance of the hallway.
"Mary …" Matthew asked. "What time did you want to leave for…" But he never finished the sentence as he spotted Henry in the other doorway. "Oh…"
If it had been anyone else Mary would probably have laughed at the comedic potential of it all. Matthew was barefoot, dressed only in his blue jeans and wiping a towel through his still wet locks of blond hair. If it was any other time than this, she also realized, she'd have jumped him right then and there.
Instead they stood like some amateur tableau, staring blankly in each other's direction.
Matthew's hand dropped from his head. "I didn't hear any car pull up." He glanced nervously over at Mary.
"No, no you wouldn't old chap." Henry came back bitterly. "I took the train and walked. Sorry not to have been more considerate and made some noise so you could scurry down the drain pipe or something."
Matthew bit back his first reply, a rather vulgar one. He chose instead to ignore it completely and made a move towards Mary.
She raised her eyes ever so briefly in his direction to veer him off. He saw it and remained where he was in the hall to the saloon.
Henry, it turned out was just getting started. "So this is cosy. I see now why you keep stalling, Mary or will you tell me this is not what I think it is?"
Matthew again moved instinctively to be at Mary's side. "I think you know exactly what this is."
Henry's turned his bile filled rage towards Matthew. Which was what Matthew wanted. "And what I see is a married man having a rather sordid week end with someone else's fiancée."
Mary snorted in outrage. "How dare you!" And now she was ready for what was to come. A preternatural calm overcame her.
Henry was in it as well. But he was continuing to bait Matthew. "Watch out or you will just be another in the long list of hearts broken by the heartless Mary Crawley."
Matthew couldn't let that go by. "Says a man who doesn't understand the woman he supposedly loves."
Mary had enough. She'd take on Henry and have it be done. Let battle commence.
She turned first to Matthew, saying matter of factly. "Go without me Matthew. I'll drive my car after all. I can handle this."
Matthew's blue eyes flashed but he understood the message. This was her fight. Just as his with Lavinia was done in private.
He walked over to her and, despite Henry's judgmental glances, whispered in her ear. "I will text you the security code to my flat if you want a place to stay." She met his concerned eyes. "Thank you," she mouthed back.
Matthew whispered one more thing, "I will await your answer," and he walked back down the hall to go upstairs, pack, and make a hasty exit.
Mary narrowed her eyes as Matthew left. What did he mean by that? It sounded more serious than just an agreement to meet her later?
XX
Mary did not have time to contemplate any more for Henry strode around the kitchen with a vengeance.
"Are you trying to humiliate me with this display?" He spun on his heels to look at her.
Mary cut back, "You are the one who came in unannounced."
"I came to see my girlfriend…"
"Oh I thought I had jumped the queue to fiancée?" Her mocking tone unmistakable.
"I have asked you…" Henry reminded her.
"And I've not answered." She equally rejoined.
"I think you've just given it to me." Henry matched her derision.
"You can say it was a lucky escape." Mary snapped.
"Don't worry I will." The cut meant to hurt.
Mary put her hand up to her forehead. She was already wanting this to be over. So she relented. "I didn't mean for you to find out this way." She knew she was in the wrong. Why did Henry always make her want to fight rather than talk?
Henry wasn't quite ready to give in.
"Oh no? Should I thank you then? Were you going to come back to London and have me on a bit more? Or string both of us along? Leave us both in your wake as you find new conquests?"
Mary responded through tight lips. "How can you say such things and then want to marry me?"
"I thought I could reform you." Henry spat out. He was just not used to women refusing his charms.
Mary's eyes narrowed to slits. "As if…"
"I thought we would eventually work as a team."
"How can it Henry? You want to change me into something I'm not.'"
"And you didn't want to do the same?"
Mary had no response. She probably did.
Henry suggested in his most persuasive voice, "I thought we got on like gangbusters in the beginning. Why can't we give it another try? I'll forgive this indiscretion."
Mary stiffened her posture. She tried to take that in the spirit in which it was intended by Henry, rather than as the most contemptuous piece of self-congratulatory garbage she had ever heard.
"I don't need you to forgive me Henry. I know I've done you a wrong in not telling you sooner. But it's over." She replied smoothly.
"I just don't know what I did wrong? What do I have to do to win you back?" Henry was at a loss.
"That's just it Henry. I'm not an object to be won or lost. I'm not a trophy. I get to make my own decisions." Mary was done with Henry. This latest display of male ego was the last straw.
"He's married." Henry hissed. "He won't leave his wife for you. You're making a fool of yourself."
Mary did not need to explain anything to Henry about Matthew's home life. That was private between them. But she had to make one thing clear.
She made it in plain language "I have chosen Henry. Please don't let things between us descend into insults. Matthew and I intend to be together. I hope you'll find someone who deserves you more than I did."
"I loved you." Henry saved face, "I see now more than you ever could love me. I'm better off without you. I'll be off to London to clear out of the house. I'll be gone by morning."
Henry didn't like to lose. She knew that. Mary would let him have the last word.
XX
Matthew left the motorway to refuel. Stopping nearby at a tea shop, he ordered instead a strong pot of coffee and some scones.
Missing that Mary was not with him, he whiled the time away finally turning his mobile back on. He had never in his memory ever turned it off for an entire week end. But he did at Downton.
What did that say about him? He wasn't sure he wanted to plumb the depths of that. He was coming to the rather overwhelmed conclusion he had been lying to himself.
About why he left Lavinia.
He had said he did it for her. That Lavinia deserved better.
But he knew now, in the depths of his guilt ridden gut, that Tom was right. He had done it for Mary.
Turning away from those thoughts until they could talk later, Matthew scrolled through at least a hundred stored messages and emails.
Mika messaged at least ten times that he was needed in London to go over some figures for the Woolgate property. He hastily responded that he was on his way back now and finish up the spreadsheets and send them to her immediately upon completion. He also confirmed his meeting with Crabtree for Tuesday morning.
Mika was a real find, Matthew knew. She had that sixth sense every good business entrepreneur had and he and Tom were lucky to woo her to their relatively small firm. She had wanted a challenge where her talents would be rewarded. They needed a go-getter to remind them of why they got in this business in the first place.
She kept their edge. And brought in big clients in new markets. Mika texted a question asking if she was needed in the office to help as she was with the young one and had no sitter. Matthew said no, he'd be fine on his own.
After gulping the rest of his coffee and scooping the scones in a box for the return journey, he eased back onto the motorway. He'd make it back to London in a couple hours and go immediately to his office to get back up to speed.
And keep his mind on other matters.
It being Sunday, the car lot was empty. He pulled easily into his reserved space and clicked his car locked. The security guard nodded as Matthew made his way to the lift.
The office was empty as he expected. Tom had mentioned he'd be away in Dublin for the week pursuing a deal with some developers so he could get to the accounts and then just go back to his flat to await Mary's arrival.
It was the kind of quiet he loved at work. He could concentrate without the distractions of office drama or last minute client interruptions.
One last voice mail on his office phone from the travel agent reminded him that was to fly out in two months to Las Vegas. He groaned as he recalled being persuaded by his client Michael Morton to take part in conducting seminars at an American real estate conference on UK investment opportunities. Lavinia had made it clear she didn't want to go, saying it was in the middle of the school term but she'd understand if he had to go. She had that resigned look on her face he'd come to know far too well.
Looking back on that conversation now he knew things weren't right between them even then. They were going through the motions of a marriage. He put off any attempt on her part to navigate through their differences until she no longer tried.
He pulled his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. It was all water under the bridge now. His onlt wish now, even if it was completely and speciously motivated to assuage his guilt, was that she find true happiness outside the bounds of a marriage that could only cause her more pain.
He finished up around 7pm and left CB Properties. He walked the short way to his flat, leaving the Porsche in the lot at work and put some files in the makeshift office he made out of the second bedroom. Mary had texted that she had left Downton later than she wanted, a crisis in the stable requiring a visit from the local vet. But everything was fine now with the boarded horse and the owners contacted to navigate care and settle the bill. She would be in London by 11pm and would meet him at his flat. He had texted back that he would be there. So he ate a meal at a local restaurant around corner from the Mall and returned to the rented walk up he had been living in for almost the past month.
It still gave every appearance of temp lodgings. The flat had minimal furnishings and Matthew had added nothing other than some personal and kitchen items. He had spent an afternoon a few weeks ago while Lavinia had been at a conference to clear out his stuff from the house they had shared. Hiring a small lorry to take mostly his clothes and work related electronics and some books he had since uni. He took the rowing machine and his spare pair of scull blades for his Janousek Single 90+KG that he kept housed in a London boathouse.
Everything else he left. It had been, perhaps in hindsight, a rash and guilt ridden decision. His lawyer had reminded him that usually these things were split fifty/fifty and he was giving too much away. He didn't care. Lavinia could have all of it or chuck it out. He would leave all of it to her.
They had already conducted a preliminary settlement meeting between all parties. With the sole exclusion of his business, he was willing to give everything else away. As odd as that may sound to his legal team, it got even more strange when he agreed to waive all rights to Reggie Swire's shares in the company and he even arranged with Lavinia to help her find a CEO to replace himself in that position and allow her to keep all profits from the shares of the stock to the new chief. That way she would profit considerably while having no more requisite position in Swire Inc.
Lavinia, through her lawyer, had agreed. Neither husband nor wife had spoken directly to each other since his last day in the house. The finalization of the divorce would happen within the next six to twelve weeks depending upon when Matthew made his final decisions regarding the CEO position and the lawyers completed all the paperwork.
It was around 10pm by the time he had showered and changed again. Just to give himself something to do while waiting Mary's arrival. He couldn't help but remember Henry's mouth crestfallen and agape when he appeared in the doorway opposite that morning at Downton. It had not been anything he intended. Finishing his shower, he tried calling down the stairs but Mary had not heard him. So he thought he'd just pop his head into the kitchen to ask her about the time she needed to be back in London, and had not even thought of the fact he had not finished dressing.
Henry did though. Notice…
And the look was priceless. A hint of a smile crossed Matthew's lips.
Then the knock on his door interrupted the memory. Mary had arrived.
He crossed over and opened the door.
She looked done in.
"Mary, darling." Matthew's soothing voice was music to her weary ears. They fell into each other's arms.
He led her inside. "I've put a kettle on or we could still go out to eat if you're famished?"
"No." She put her keys down and kicked off her shoes. "A cuppa sounds delicious."
They walked into the small kitchen. Matthew brought out two mugs from the cupboard.
He paused in mid stride. "Was it bloody awful?" He enquired gently. "I really didn't want to leave you there but I understood you wanting to handle it in private."
Mary came up behind him, enveloping her body around his; her arms curving around his waist to encase him and her as one. Matthew's fingers wove and twisted inside of hers. Her head rested on his spinal column.
"Thank you for understanding." They took in the moment that it was over. The worst was over.
Now they just had to make their commitment work. Make it worth the fight. The pain.
Matthew rotated around to embrace Mary and put her head into his shoulder. She rested there, safe and happy.
"Is it awful, Matthew," Mary admitted, "to say I just wanted it to be over? I felt nothing other than a slight irritation that he just didn't see what was in front of his face."
"Oh darling." Matthew's arms squeezed her tight. "No. If that's how you felt, then you can be sure you made the right decision."
She released his grip to see his eyes. Surprisingly they were troubled. They blue hidden by dark irises, his lids hooded.
"What?" Mary wanted to know he had no doubts either. "Are you second guessing what we've done?" She felt a shiver of fear. The same one he must have felt earlier that she did not understand. Was that why?
"Oh God Mary. No… No that's not what I'm feeling." Matthew's voice was trembling. The emotions overwhelming him. "I realized today, when we parted and I had that long drive back to London alone, that I was lying to myself when I said I left Lavinia because it was unfair for her to be in a relationship with someone no longer in the same place as she. I told Tom that it had nothing to do with the outcome between us."
"And now?" Mary needed to hear this.
"Now…" He kissed her cheek, his lips caressing, tickling her skin. "Now I know I would have been devastated to go on without you in my life. I don't want to overwhelm you with too much pressure on what I know is a very much a beginning for us, but I can't see my future any more without you. I love you so much. I feel it in my bones. You are now a part of me."
Mary kissed him fiercely. With all the love, the passion unspent in past relationships. With all the hope for this new, fragile one they've created.
"We'll make it work, Matthew," She responded passionately. "I feel the same. "Their arms enfolded tight around each other.
The kettle's high pitched whistle interrupted the moment. Matthew smiled, and turned around to turn off the burner.
Mary said, "I don't think I should stay here tonight though."
Matthew twisted his head as he was steeping the tea bags in the mugs. "Oh?"
"I don't want to give the wrong impression. You know, in Downton we were quite alone. Here in London …"
She didn't have to finish the thought.
"Lavinia has friends or acquaintances that might get back to her that we're living together." Matthew kissed her brow, he understood.
"I'll stay with Edith for tonight. I don't think it will take Henry more than a day or two to move his stuff." She stifled a yawn.
"Go out into the living area. I'll bring the tea."
She nodded and left the room.
Matthew finished with the tea, sugar, lemon, and milk unsure what Mary wanted so he put all of it on a tray.
When he finished he walked into through the doorway.
Mary was asleep on the sofa, her legs curled up beside her.
Matthew smiled again and placing the tray down on the long coffee table, got a throw blanket from back of the sofa and put it around her. She cuddled against the pillow and burrowed her head against its softness.
She looked so peaceful, so beautiful he did not want to disturb her slumber.
He sat down with his own mug of tea.
Mary's droopy eyes blinked open. She contemplated him just sitting and looking at her. A rather silly, yet completely endearing smile upon his face.
"I texted Edith your address. She'll be over to fetch me." She murmered, still half asleep.
"I'll listen out for her. You stay there and rest" He leaned over to kiss her. "So she knows about us?" Matthew cautiously asked.
"She will now." Mary revealed. "She suspected my interest in you was not purely professional." She cocked a mischievous eyebrow.
They both had to acknowledge the obvious truth of that.
"She's getting married in two weeks. But even if she knows, I don't think it's the right time to tell the rest of the family." Mary didn't know any other way to say that she couldn't invite Mathew to the wedding.
"I wouldn't want to distract from her day of course. And as you say, I'm still very much in the middle of these divorce proceedings." Matthew was being judicious in his understanding even if it hurt to realize they still had so much ahead of them. "I know Robert thinks I'm some sort of villian."
Mary was still confused on that. "He'll come around. Just not yet I think. He's taken very much against you."
Who was he fooling? Matthew knew that answer. He was fooling himself that the worst was behind them. If he was ever to be a true part of Mary's life, he and Robert must settle the air between them. He just wasn't sure how to do that without revealing secrets that could potentially destroy the very happiness he sought to build in Mary's life.
Those sobering thoughts weighed heavily on his mind as he awaited the arrival of Mary's sister. He'd so rather have stayed buried under mounds of sheets and blankets in Mary's bed at Downton, wrapped in a cocoon of love, oblivious to the world.
The cold light of day sucked.
XX
Thanks for reading. It's only going to get more complicated as secrets and surprises are revealed in the next few chapters. Reviews are bliss!