XX
"Mary!" Edith's relieved sigh met her sister as she entered the dressing room at the church. "Finally!"
Mary strolled over gracefully and grazed her sister's cheek with a kiss. "I told you I'd be here." She was fingering the earring that stubbornly refused to hook. "We had to wait for the vet for Mr. Banks' checkup." Mary left Jerry to finish things when Dr. Cooper signed off on the health and safety document. The past weeks had been a whirlwind of various officials in and out of Downton Stables for their quarterly inspections.
"I've got my dress on," Mary swirled the hem, "and my wrap is inside my bag." And she pulled out the silk pashmina shawl. She and Sybil wore matching bridesmaid dresses and wraps.
Edith scrutinized her face. "Your eye liner is a bit off. Sit down."
"Oh really." Mary huffed slightly as she scrunched down to the mirror to take a look.
"I want perfection." Edith was insistent. "You are a reflection of the bride." She mimicked the bridal magazine articles the three sisters had chuckled over as they made lemongrass ginger martinis and sangria floras the night before at the small hen night Edith had wanted.
The evening ended up in a far more serious discussion than they initially intended.
Sybil had protested the quiet night in, saying "When I get married it's going to be a gigantic booze up good bye to the best days of my life." And then picking up another martini, "I don't think I'll marry at all."
"You don't know what you're saying" Edith smiled indulgently. "I feel quite the opposite. Bertie makes me happier than I ever thought possible. And he's comfortable with me traveling all around the world while he keeps the home fires burning."
"It helps he's the Marquess of Hexham with a vast estate in Northumberland to idle his time." Sybil guffawed.
"He is fully involved in the running the business end of the estate, making it a success where so many others have failed." Edith observed, meeting Mary's eyes from across the room.
"Is that a snipe at Papa?" Sybil questioned. "I know he's got no head for business. We never thought he had. But is something else wrong?" She leaned forward, her brown eyes turning concerned.
Mary hesitated. "He's been very agitated recently. When I came back to help secure my permanent replacement, he kept demanding cuts in perks and benefits to the new vice president. That retrenching was needed. I told him that may be the case, but if he wanted the best public relations manager he'd have to do better than that. He nearly took my head off, spouting that if I had never left in the first place, he wouldn't have to do anything."
"Is it just the business you think?" Edith reached out to take one of the cheese and cracker nibbles spread out on the coffee table in Mary's town house.
"What do you mean?" Mary was curious. It had not occurred to her there was more to her father's ire than his money woes. From what Matthew had disclosed, and it had not been much since his confession at the party where they had spoken in the privacy of her office, Robert had been skimming money from Grantham Ltd for reasons that had gone mysteriously unsolved.
At least to her knowledge. She had the feeling Matthew was hiding something. Hiding behind the confidentiality of adviser to a client. She had assumed her father had made some kind of bad investments and tried to hide it and then it just continued to plummet out of control.
Their papa was a dear man, but money was never his strong bent. Of course it was nothing new for aristocrats to be in debt. But their grandfather had done a grand job in the 50s and 60s in the post war period to resurge the Grantham finances.
Her father has spent most of his life doing the opposite. He had been resistant to any number of technological changes the new world of business and social media required. He had the old client list and he stubbornly refused to expand much beyond the original geographical limits his father had set in place.
The result was that even in the best of years, Grantham barely tread water.
And these weren't the best of years for real estate. At least not for the commercial and residential properties that was the bulk of their business. He had become even more risk averse of late, refusing to engage in any kind of investment in debt securities or involvement in the equity markets. She knew Matthew's company had taken calculated risks in equity investments and won large rewards in return.
Something her father was hopeless in achieving. He had no sense of the market, relying on age old strategies that were now coming back to bite them. She knew Grantham was creaking in the rafters, but lately it seemed an air of impending doom had settled in amongst the employees at the old Exchange Building address.
"Papa seems very distant lately. As if his mind were elsewhere," Edith elaborated. "I went to speak to him about some wedding cost overruns and he groaned and mumbled something about nothing ever being done on the cheap." She shook her head, "It wasn't as if I was asking for the moon, it was just the catering bill."
"I'm sure it'll blow over." Mary tried to refrain from too much speculation. "I'll talk to him once the wedding is over and things get a bit back to normal."
Edith raised an eyebrow at that. "Are they 'getting back to normal?'"
Mary imperceptibly shook her head as Sybil leaned forward, already on the scent of a secret not divulged to her.
"What are you two going on about?" Sybil demanded. "Is it what I think?"
Mary sighed in resignation. "Probably," she said wryly turning to her sister. "I've broken up with Henry. He moved out last week."
"And …." Sybil took a slow sip of her sangria as she settled in for some good sisterly gossip.
Mary's eyes became slits as she answered coolly, "I'm taking some time for myself."
"Oh come on…" Sybil would have none of that. "You are sleeping with Matthew aren't you. You are always in a better mood when you've had good sex. Has he left his wife for you?" Sybil had been on another surgical rotation at the hospital and out of contact. "Are you going to live together?"
Mary knew this would happen. Sybil was way too perceptive sometimes for Mary's taste. "I…" and she truly hated being caught off guard. "I don't know exactly what the future holds right now."
"Mary sometimes you are too private for your own good!" Sybil exclaimed. "We're here for you. I never thought you and Henry were end game anyway."
"How can you say that? You were ever on Henry's side?" Mary pointed out.
"Only in the sense that you were stringing him along. You were both too shallow in your feelings. I could see immediately though that you had it bad for Matthew. Just that one dinner it was obvious, the eye fucking you two were giving each other across the room. Everyone noticed."
That pained Mary more than Sybil expected. For Lavinia had been there that evening. And the last thing she wanted was to flaunt any kind of sexual interest in another woman's husband. Had she done that?
"I don't know that everyone noticed and I'm not proud of that if it's the case." Mary acknowledged honestly. "It's not the greatest basis for long term success in any relationship."
"Do you want the long term?" Sybil pressed directly.
Both sisters anticipated Mary's answer. But she didn't rush.
She gave it a long consideration. Then first a confession. "We spent a week end together about a fortnight ago. After the York Riding Show he was waiting for me in the back stable yard. He told me he has left his wife and was getting a divorce. Confessed he loved me and wanted to know if I'd be willing to give our relationship a chance."
Edith and Sybil exchanged meaningful glances.
"What?" Mary was confused. "It's what happened. We went back to Downton and ummm...he stayed until Sunday afternoon."
"Just that he sounds almost too good to be true!" Sybil reckoned. "I know Tom can't stop praising his business acumen but that Matthew actually didn't even consider an affair. I mean most men would seemingly want their cake and eat it too."
"Wait...you told me on the way here when I picked you up that Sunday night at his London flat that it was all a bit of a mess. So I wasn't sure what really happened with his wife." Edith interjected.
"Oh no." Mary exclaimed. "I didn't mean to leave you with that impression. I was dead to the world that night because Henry arrived at Downton unexpectedly that morning. We got into a row that ended with him moving out."
Sybil choked on her drink at that divulgence. "While Matthew was still there?!"
Mary said dryly, "not only still there but shirtless and rubbing a towel through shower wet hair just as Henry arrived on the scene. Like the Greek god Adonis straight from Mt. Olympus. Henry was not amused."
Sybil collapsed into Edith and the two started to giggle uncontrollably.
"I can see why he didn't put up much of a protest and decided the jig was up." Sybil finally recovered enough to say.
Edith looked at Mary. "You 're thinking what if the shoe was on the other foot and it was Matthew's wife rather than Henry?"
"The thought crossed my mind later." Mary admitted. "It wouldn't have been so funny."
"But you have to say that as it was it has its humorous elements." Sybil was still wiping tears from her eyes. I'd have killed to be a fly on the wall and seen all of your faces."
"None of this, however, takes away from fact I barely know him really. What was his favorite childhood pet? Does he want to live in London which is a no go for me. How about children? Are we just making the same mistakes that has left us with all this baggage from past failures?" She cupped her chin in her hands. "I am incredibly attracted to him, that's true. But is it enough?"
"You don't want to make the same mistake again?" Edith offered. "Do you think you are?"
"He's rich." Sybil cynically pointed out, just to push Mary's buttons. "You like that. Henry was exciting but he wasn't rolling in the dosh."
Mary refused to rise to Sybil's bait other than to scoff, "Oh really Syb. I hope I've moved beyond such selfish whims. I have my own goals, my own business now. There are all sorts of considerations. I'm not even sure I should be getting involved with anyone right now."
"You're going to let him go?" Sybil blurted out.
"Are you serious?" Edith added.
"What is it to you two?" Mary was astonished at their reaction. "It's my life."
"And it's about time you got it in hand." Edith declared. "From the little I saw of you and Mathew together when I picked you up at his flat he looked like he'd move the Earth for you. He was so attentive."
"And you'd do the same." Sybil chimed in confidently. "The fact that you're giving it such reflection indicates how much you care. We all know you don't give your heart easily. Do you love him?"
Mary eased into the back of the sofa. She smiled contemplatively, "Yes I do." Her eyes danced as she spoke the truth. "I really really do."
"Then there's your answer." Edith concluded.
"But is it as easy as that?" Mary doubts crept back in.
Sybil groaned. "For God's sake, Mary! You've got to stop worrying. They don't come around like busses you know. So shut up, drink up, and go for it." She flung out her glass for a toast.
Edith did the same.
Mary lifted herself up from the cushions of the sofa and held out her glass, saying gamely "Go for it!"
"Go for it!" They all said together and drank down the last of the sangrias.
The next day had seen Mary working in the morning and then the arrival at the church.
Edith brushed the eye liner carefully. "I hope Sybil and I didn't press you too much last night. Maybe the sangrias went to our heads. You can do whatever you want of course."
Mary gripped Edith's hand. "Thank you for that. But I think you kicked me in the seat of the pants for all the right reasons."
"He didn't come today though?" Edith stood back to examine her facial handiwork.
"No. But that has nothing to do with us. More consideration for you," and Mary squeezed her sister's hand again. "He didn't want to become a distraction especially as Papa still has taken against him."
"I look forward to meeting him and getting to know him. Anyone who makes you this happy must be someone very special."
Mary blushed. "It's all so sudden. So unlike me. But it does feel so good. But it's not my day. It's yours! To think if we had kept up our bickering I might not be here. I'm so very very happy for you Edith."
And the two women hugged and got on with the finishing up of affixing Edith's veil.
XX
The wedding had been a success and Mary was back at Downton. She and everyone else had seen Edith and Bertie off on a honeymoon to the Caribbean.
She spent the following weeks with various officials getting her licensed and certified in all the fields required by her ownership of a working stable.
She was eager to get back on Jellybean and give her a good run. Feeling cooped up all day in the church and later at Downton for the made her lethargic and in need of exercise.
The fresh air felt wonderful. Later that day she was expecting to meet the woman she hoped would accept the position of becoming Mary's personal coach. Anna Smith had a reputation as being hard but fair with those she chose to accept position as riding coach. As a gold and silver Olympic winner, Smith had successfully transitioned to training the next generations of British riders. She had to retire early from her own career as her horse had thrown her and she suffered serious rib fractures and a broken femur.
Mary had fidgeted about the office awaiting Anna's arrival to discuss the possibility of taking up Mary's desire to have Anna be her private coach. If she was to succeed in reasserting herself into competitive riding she needed someone of Smith's standing and repute.
The ball was very much in Anna Smith's court. As she often quoted "it's the coach that does the asking." She would talk with Mary and examine Jellybean. And if she liked what she saw, if she saw potential, she'd take Mary on.
Mary needed the rigour, the focus that Anna brought to her athletes. She had seen them compete when she went with friends the year before to the Dublin Horse Trials.
She wanted Anna Smith to see that in her.
Not being able to wait any longer without having something of a nervous breakdown, Mary took Jellybean out for a run.
The wind.
She lifted herself out of the saddle, pressing her boots into the stirrups. Soft "tcks" "tcks" and Jellybean responded to her soft kicks on the flanks and sped up to a canter.
Jellybean loved to canter. The loping pace allowed both to feel the joy of the ride. Mary never felt more at peace with the universe than when she was riding. Her heart beat with Jellybean's rhythm.
They were one.
The ride gave her the courage to meet Anna Smith.
She was rubbing the Bean down when she heard the car pull up. She continued the brush down. It was good that Anna saw her as she meant to go on. Taking care of her horse. Dedicated to her sport.
That was good? Right? Mary pondered this as the footfalls got closer.
"I'm in here." She called out, hopefully not sounding too eager.
Anna walked inside the barn. Mary turned to meet her, a smile of complete joy sneaking across her face.
Her future beckoned.
XX
Matthew had just arrived back at his office after spending most of the day at Swire Inc vetting potential CEOs as he had promised Lavinia. He had, after weeks of analysis and interviews alongside other board members, narrowed the candidates to four. They were to be given longer interviews and their backgrounds thoroughly checked.
It had been over six weeks since his week end with Mary. They barely saw each other in the interim as she was busy at Downton with the Stables.
He missed her something terrible but knew this time apart was necessary. In a week he flew out to Las Vegas and there was so much to do before that trip. Including finalization of his divorce. His mind rebelled at all he had on the agenda.
His mobile chimed and he cheered immediately when he saw Mary's picture on his contacts light up.
They spoke quietly for several minutes when he looked up at the sound of the door knock.
"Yes?" He asked as Cyn poked her head inside.
Mary said she'd ring off as she knew he was busy. They'd talk later he promised.
Matthew set his mobile back on the desk and looked again at his assistant.
"The Earl of Grantham is here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment but says he knows you."
Matthew groaned and shoved his fingers in his eyes.
XX
Mary was crushed. "I see…." But her words faultered.
Anna's warm brown eyes were sympathetic. "It has nothing to do with your abilities, please believe me. I'm thrilled you're back in the game. You are the future. I just don't have the time right now in my schedule for a new athlete."
The two women were standing outside Mary's office. Anna had stowed her gear back inside the Rover and was making ready to leave.
Mary bit the side of her mouth, her response curt. "I understand."
"I had a marvelous time today." Anna said. In addition to looking around the facility and examining Jellybean, Anna and Mary had ridden down to the stream that adjoined the Downton estate with the neighbouring one.
"We'll keep in touch." Anna assured her. "And I am available for the occasional consult. I've got a list of coaches that do have room on their schedule in the meantime if you want to contact one of them. I can email it to you."
Mary was at sea. All her plans scuppered for the time being. She felt a bit sick.
"Don't see this as a setback. Keep going on, improving, challenging yourself. Downton Stables is an incredible facility. I'm amazed in what you've been able to accomplish here in not even six months of operation. In a year or two I will make sure I have an opening for you." Her voice calm. Her words encouraging.
"I will." Mary's voice grew in strength, reflecting the confidence of woman she admired. "I'll see where I am competitively after the Berkshire Horse Trials this week end and make a decision about an interim coach."
"Good." Anna shook Mary's hand. "I will back in touch." And then she got inside the car and drove back down the gravel lane to the main road outside Downton Abbey.
Mary stayed long minutes staring into the distance. She could hear the horses nickering in their stalls. A sound she always found soothing.
Stop it, she told herself. Stop wallowing and get on with your work. So what everything was golden one minutes, and now it seems its turned to ashes. You're never down for long. Tomorrow you travel to Windsor for the Horse Trials and another chance to put Jellybean through her paces.
One step at a time, she remembered. One step at a time.
But it was disappointing all the same. She'd give Matthew a call to tell him the news.
XX
"Robert," Matthew's modulated tone greeted the Earl of Grantham as he was ushered in by Cyn. "This is unexpected."
He had just hung up from a conversation with Mary regarding her unfortunate conclusions to the meeting with Anna Smith. He was disappointed for her. Unsure how to comfort as it was just an unfortunate issue of timing. He took heart that when they finished talking Mary did enthuse about all the nuances and details Anna noticed in Mary's riding posture and habits. Those would come in handy at the Berkshire Trials she said.
"I know Matthew." Robert looked like he had aged seventy years since their last encounter at that nightmarish dinner at Downton.
Obviously, things were still not going well.
"Have a seat." And he guided Robert towards the comfortable chair adjoining his own across the desk.
Robert did so. "I won't take up much of your time. Thank you for seeing me like this. I'll get straight to the point. I know we settled our bill from your previous consulting work but I would like to hire your firm to sell some land at Downton and to do so rather quickly." The earl finally lifted his eyes to meet the furrowed brow of Matthew Crawley.
Matthew's mouth was agape, trying to find something to say. His mind was racing however. Land? At Downton? My firm? But you fired me?
Instead of any of those questions, Matthew said smoothly, "Very well let me see what we can do. Do you have the details?"
"I can inform my estate manager to forward your agent the necessary information. It's just some acreage that is largely unused and I've been hanging on to for sentimental reasons. But as you know all too well my finances are not in the best of shape and I need some ready cash. The land is good and I've had interest in it for years. I've just never wanted to sell. My daughter is using it now for this new business venture she's taken a fancy to" and he waved his hand vaguely as if he didn't really know exactly what Mary's business entailed "but she'll have to make do."
Matthew blinked rapidly and his eyes beetled back and forth. He blurted out "I don't think taking the land away from Mary just so you can make a quick profit is the best thing for the family."
And then he clapped his mouth shut. Shit shit shit, he thought. That was the wrong thing to say.
And it was, Robert's eyes narrowed. "I don't really care what you think is the best thing for my family. What does it have to do with you?" He shifted forward in his chair. "I came here because you know something of my private difficulties, it was not easy for me to decide to work with you again. Now it seems I made a mistake in thinking you could be fair."
The truth was, Matthew realized, it had nothing to do with him.
Yet.
He was still not divorced and Mary did not want to tell the family of their relationship until after the absolute decree was finalized.
But he could not in all good conscience allow this to happen without Mary's input.
He tried again in a more diplomatic voice, "I meant to say decisions made under pressure are not recommended unless all parties involved have had their fair say in the matter."
Robert grumbled an assent so Matthew pressed forward "Have you informed Lady Mary of this scheme?"
The older man didn't like that characterization but let it go Matthew noted.
"No. She's not the owner. I am."
"Yes. But she utilizes the land for a venture of her own. Land that is essential to her operation of this business." Matthew was treading on thin ice here. He knew he could not divulge Robert's information to Mary without breaking client privileges, but nor could he admit to Robert his position as Mary's business partner as he had promised her not to until time was right.
But time may no longer be on their side.
Robert gave him a narrow look. "So are you or are you not willing to become the agents for this sale?"
Matthew paused then said quite plainly "I have a conflict of interest in this projected sale. I can't say any more than I deeply wish you talk this over with Lady Mary before making any final decisions. But I also cannot keep you from choosing another estate agent to complete the transaction."
Robert looked deeply unhappy at that response. And troubled.
Matthew wished he could be more help. He didn't understand the need for such haste. Roberts debts were substantial but they weren't yet at the point of utter ruin.
At least not to Matthew's knowledge they weren't.
Robert got up from the chair. ""Thank you for your time." The two men shook hands and without another word Robert left.
Matthew slumped back down into his seat. He didn't know if he did more harm than good.
XX
Matthew looked at her.
His wife… ex-wife, he corrected his mind.
They had signed the papers.
He looked up.
Her eyes met his. The look was there. Unblinking, she stared straight ahead almost looking between his eyes. To anyone else it would appear expressionless.
But Matthew knew better. He knew Lavinia. Knew her better than almost anyone else.
He saw the hurt behind the eyes.
The hurt he had caused.
The damage he inflicted caused those eyes that now stared into his.
Accusing. Damning. Pained.
None of the money in the world would change that. He had given her everything. They had been through the settlement negotiations. Sat across one more table from another just a month previous. Matthew's pressing trip to North America had sped up the legal work as both parties wanted it done before he left the country for three weeks. Lavinia had said nothing, except through her lawyer. She had accepted all the arrangements with regards to her father's business. Had acknowledged and thanked Matthew's hard work in finding a new CEO for Swire Inc.
This meeting was just the formality of the signing of the divorce absolute. There had been only one change. Lavinia had, to Matthew's surprise, countered his offer to pay off the mortgage to their house by saying she'd rather sell.
Matthew stumbled a hasty "Yes, certainly." She would not look at him when his eyes flashed over to hers. She wanted to sell? A new paper presented.
And then it was over. His initials all over various legal documents.
They got up to leave.
And she looked at him. As his chair squeaked on its rollers as he pushed it away from the table.
Matthew's eyes trailed up to meet hers.
His mouth opened to say something, but she turned away and walked out the door. No backward glance.
It was done.
XX
Isobel had lunch with him afterward.
Matthew was silent through most of it.
"You got what you wanted, Matthew." His ever practical mother pointed out. "You are not regretting it I hope? Rather late to beg Lavinia's forgiveness now."
Matthew eyed his mother from under his heavy lidded brows, but his voice was assured. "I don't want to go back. I just didn't realize we'd never speak to one another again."
"Did you think if you gave her enough money it would make up for the realization her husband loved another woman?" Isobel snapped back. "That she let bygones be bygones and come out for tea?"
Matthew sank lower in his seat. His head was throbbing. "Of course not!" he snorted. His mind reeled at the finality of what was just done. His decisions had changed all their lives. His mother had every right to be angry with him as well.
"I know what I did Mother. I also know one can't just turn off feeling love for your wife because you signed a paper…" What was the use, he thought?
"But you did sign a paper saying just that." Isobel took a slow sip of her tea.
Matthew was struggling to understand. "I signed a paper saying that our marriage was over. My love for Lavinia has changed, it's true... I knew she'd be hurt. I know the hurt I inflicted upon her. But it's not gone altogether. It is not something that can be just thrown away."
"Nor should it be," his mother relented. "With you or with Lavinia. But she's strong. Much stronger I suspect that you believe her to be. She's won't be pining for you forever. Take heart in that."
Matthew exhaled loudly, looking askance at his mother. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I don't care what you feel." His mother retorted smartly. "I care about what you do now. What are your plans for the future with your new inamorata?" Her look direct, a steely gaze.
"I plan to spend the rest of my days with her…" and he wouldn't let his mother get the last word in, "And I know you'll point out I said that before and look how it turned out. But this is different, Mother. I was wrong to have married Lavinia and tied her to someone not as much love as she. I love Mary with a devotion that honestly scares me."
The utter simple sincerity of that response floored Isobel. She knew her son was not given to exaggerations.
"I need you to believe me. Mary wants to meet you. I want you to like her, not judge or compare her. I know you still think I've made a mess of things with Lavinia."
"That's a different conversation." Isobel observed. "I will give Mary all the chance in the world if she makes you as happy as you say."
Matthew was enormously relieved. "That's all I'm asking of you." He ate his sandwich in the quiet that descended between them.
Matthew ventured after a few minutes, "What did you make of Lavinia's desire to sell the house. I thought she loved it."
Isobel revealed, "She told me about that."
Matthew's eyes narrowed, "Really? I know you have been in contact with her, but I had no idea."
"There's a fair bit you don't know about her life these days. She's made a lot of decisions meant to satisfy herself rather than someone else."
"You mean me?" Matthew frowned. "I never thought of myself as ordering her about or demanding my needs come first."
"You didn't." Isobel reflected. "As I see it, the two of you in your marriage settled for what was easiest in both your personalities. That's why you got along so well. Neither of you challenged the other outside the comfort of a good home and a stable marriage. So when you finally kicked over the traces in looking outside for something you weren't finding within, whether you knew it or not…" and here she pat Matthew's hand as he was looking even more and more scowly at her rather too on the mark observations. "Lavinia realized she could now do the same."
He acquiesced to that assessment. "So what is she doing?"
"You'll have to ask her." Isobel was being maddingly mysterious. "It's not my place to say."
He now understood how he himself had come across Robert a few days ago when he said very much the same thing. A slight tetchiness in Matthew's voice. "But she's not talking to me."
"You were the one who pushed this decision on her." Isobel quickly reminded her recalcitrant son. "It's only been three months." The more gently, "She will. Give her the time she needs. She'll call you, when she's ready."
Matthew nodded acknowledgement. He knew she was right. "I'll wait for her then."
They finished the meal in silence.
XX
The day before he was to fly out to Las Vegas for three weeks it happened. Lavinia called him to ask to meet her at their old house on Fulham Green.
He said he could be there around 3pm. She agreed and they clicked off.
He arrived to find her boxing items from the house. The "To Let" sign already out front as Matthew had instructed.
Lavinia turned when she heard that familiar sound of Matthew's key in the lock. She screwed on her brave face and greeted him warmly. "Hello. I had no idea we collected so much junk over the years. I'm taking loads to Oxfam."
Matthew said, grateful they were speaking at all, "mostly my books probably. I've never been able even to donate any ever. Had all of them since uni."
"There is a happy amount of books a house can hold. You did ever exceed it."
They both laughed nervously, knowing it was true.
"I'll give you a hand." Matthew rolled up his sleeves and opened the flaps of a box. He didn't ask why she wanted to move. As his mother said, all in good time.
They worked in companionable silence for a few minutes while Lavinia collected her thoughts.
"I'm moving to Australia Matthew. That's why I agreed to the early settlement and selling the house."
Matthew stopped in mid packing. "Australia?" He was at first confused and then he remembered. They had talked last year Lavinia taking up a position with a British commonwealth teaching organization. He had said he couldn't go just anywhere on a whim. She never brought it up again.
"That's wonderful." He said. "I think it's a marvelous idea."
"It'll do." Lavinia answered. "Until I settle on something more permanent. They're letting me do a year in Australia and then maybe India."
"Your finances all secured?" He asked, concerned she might be unable to access her funds if needed.
"Yes." Lavinia looked at her former husband. His brow had taken on that furrowed look he always got when he wanted to make sure she was okay. "I'm alright."
Matthew's eyes darkened. "I'm very glad you called me to tell me in person. You have every right to hate me."
Lavinia gave him a side eye. "I do, don't I?" At his blanched, guilty face though she relented. "Let's part friends Matthew. The world has far too much hate in it right now. I don't want that for us. You were right when you said we had four great years. I don't want to ruin that either."
Matthew's relief was tinged with sadness. He very probably did not deserve her rapprochement. But he accepted it on one condition.
"Let's both wish each other every happiness and good luck. I certainly wish that for you." His face flickered and played around at the edges with a smile.
He hoped she'd return it.
Lavinia nodded agreement and then suddenly smiled in return. The first one he had seen in a very long time. "Take as many of your books as you want."
It was enough.
They continued to work for the rest of the day.
XX
tbc
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Yes that is a line from Chariots of Fire...