Chapter 11.
Anna was confused. She'd spent the last three hours confused about why she kept staring at her best friend's breasts. They were very nice breasts, but that was no reason to be practically ogling them—a word that kept returning despite Anna's attempts to replace it with something less … discomfiting. It made no sense and made less sense the closer to the Valley they got.
The way Elsa kept popping into her head was getting several degrees past irritating, too. Her sister was one of the reasons she was there, but the thoughts that kept insinuating themselves into her consciousness weren't in the same vein as what she intended to ask about. Far from it—and far less simple. Beside her, Kristoff was unusually quiet, though she wasn't giving him much reason to talk.
Even Olaf was quiet, and so the three hours passed with no distraction to keep Anna's thoughts from running wild between Kristoff, Elsa, and Gudrun—Gudrun's breasts, at any rate. She certainly didn't have those sorts of feelings for her friend and she absolutely didn't have them for her sister. Still, the thoughts persisted. Woven throughout were her worries about Kristoff and the fallout from the kiss she wished she'd never let happen.
By the time they reached the Valley, Anna almost looking forward to the onslaught of clamoring trolls pulling her this way and that. Their greeting, however, left her even more stumped than she had been to start with. It was as exuberant as usual, with a rush to examine Kristoff's gift, but.… That was it, at least where she was concerned.
She couldn't fault their excitement over the sleigh though. It quickly became a scene akin to a rockslide with little ones crawling all over. The cup holder was a big hit. More than one young troll had to be reminded it wasn't to play with.
The older trolls set to examining the workmanship and detailing approvingly. They had no use for such things, but they did enjoy looking at well-made objects, wood especially. This particular object appeared to please them greatly. While many of the trolls chattered about the quality of the sleigh, the majority pressed Kristoff for details of the event.
He patiently explained everything about receiving it, with one big exception. He didn't mention the kiss. Anna noticed that right away, and it only added to her growing confusion. The one thing the "love experts" would be most interested in, the thing Anna was sure he'd reveal, he didn't. It wasn't that she expected a grand announcement, but there wasn't even a hint something had happened between them.
She was prepared for the usual attempts at talking her and Kristoff into marriage—especially since she was the one who gave him the gift. To her surprise, other than making sure he'd thanked her and her sister properly, the trolls were very quiet towards her as a whole. They didn't even ask her to recount her side of the tale which piled confusion on top of confusion.
She was glad she was spared the increasingly frustrating insistence that she sit while Bulda and half the others regaled her with Kristoff's many attributes. She knew his attributes, maybe too well, and had grown weary of their attempts to convince her not only should she marry him, she should do so before leaving the Valley. It was a relief to not be greeted with it, but she felt oddly guilty for welcoming the peace.
But something was off—that was for sure. It was like they already knew about the kiss between her and Kristoff, and that she hated it. Worse, a few trolls kept giving her sideways glances with expressions suggesting they might know more than that. Did they already know that she was there for reasons aside from showing off Kristoff's new sleigh? It was as if they knew the reason better than she did.
What if they know I kissed Elsa? No … that's ridiculous! But if they can sense I didn't like it with Kristoff … could they somehow know I loved hers? They are love experts, after all, and they've known things they shouldn't in the past … but that thing with Elsa … that was just the two of us. Wait, can they read minds? I never thought of that … if they can read my thoughts … how am I going to explain something like—
"Anna." Grand Pabbie's voice pulled Anna out of increasingly worried thoughts. "It's good to see you." His voice was solemn, despite a slight smile. "I'm glad you decided to come with Kristoff."
"Hi!" Anna jumped and smiled back nervously, fidgeting. She'd come primarily to speak with him, but still couldn't sort out exactly what questions to ask—and worried her apprehension would be too obvious. "Why would I miss a chance to see you and Bulda and Cliff and the little ones?"
Grand Pabbie nodded, his stern expression not wavering. "Did you also have questions you seek me to help you with?"
He can't read my mind … no, Anna, that's just stupid. "Well … yes, actually. I'm pretty confused, so I was hoping you could give me some answers."
The elder troll "Hmphed" and gestured toward the side of the grove. "Why don't we take a short walk?"
"Oh. Okay." Anna wasn't sure why she felt so uncomfortable following him, but she did. Her discomfort grew as he led her slightly further into the woods than she'd expected.
When he finally stopped, they were in a small clearing almost out of sight of the group of children still climbing all over their big brother's new sleigh. She could hear Kristoff yelling about scratching the finish, though it was likely a pointless endeavor.
"There is a matter that you need to address." Grand Pabbie stopped suddenly and looked at her sternly. "It is the one you wished to speak to me about, is it not?"
Anna knew exactly what he meant, but didn't expect him to say it the moment they were alone. "About Elsa? Oh, we had tea last night and smoothed things over so I think—"
"You didn't discuss how things went with the sleigh, did you?" Grand Pabbie narrowed his eyes when she tensed and bit her lip, not able to meet his gaze. He sighed. "I sense that you are unsure of what words to use. I sense it leads to another question, as well, but you must make a decision on this first before you can answer the second."
How does he learn about things so quickly? "What other question? I'm pretty frazzled about the sleigh as it is—I don't want to worry about something else at the same time. It's not that complicated, really … I mean, it's just that I don't know how to tell her." It was the truth, though bent a little, and Anna didn't want to have to elaborate any further.
"Anna, you were in the middle of the town square. Do you honestly think your sister will not be told sooner rather than later? Which is better, telling her yourself or being confronted about hiding it?"
Drawing in a deep breath, Anna nodded. "You're right. But Elsa doesn't seem to like Kristoff very much … I mean, not that she dislikes him … she thinks he's nice and all that … she just always looks like she's forcing a smile when she's around him, y'know? And we are always together lately, so she's a little miffed about that—though I really don't know why; it's not like I'm going to ma—I mean … not that she's miffed at him! Just … well … yeah, she's miffed at him and I'm afraid she'll be really angry about this."
The elder troll scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Don't you think that not telling her would give her reason to take your actions to mean you wish to hide your true relationship with Kristoff? Would you not have been bursting to tell her as soon as possible otherwise? Or is there, perhaps, another reason that adds to your fear she will be angry?"
"What?" Anna stared at him.
"Is there?"
She turned red. "No, of course not!"
"Your failure to tell her might suggest that there is." Grand Pabbie cleared his throat. "If not that, it would certainly seem that you don't hold her in high enough importance to tell her about it."
"She's the most important person in my world!" Anna blew out her breath and rubbed her forehead. "I know, I know. It's just that things have been so tense between us, and the way she seems to feel about me marrying Kristoff … finding out he did something so … um …" she searched for the right word "… intimate … might make her furious. I wanted to find a way to tell her it wasn't his fault."
"Why do you feel that fault should be assigned? I was under the impression that it is perfectly normal for romantically involved couples to kiss."
"It is, but… I don't know how to… It's just that…" She gave up, unable to find a way to express herself without coming out and saying how she actually felt.
"Is it because you do not love him?"
Anna turned red. "Why would you think that? I mean, I am having second thoughts, but I never said I'm not in love with him." Why do I keep denying it?
Maybe, Grand Pabbie could, indeed, read her mind. "You aren't being honest; for what reason, I don't know, but you must make the decision to be truthful before you can begin to move forward."
"That hasn't got anything to do with telling Elsa he kissed me." It was a desperate ploy, and she knew it wouldn't work even as she spoke.
Grand Pabbie studied her disapprovingly for several long seconds. "It has everything to do with it. There is one other way your sister could interpret your secrecy. You have said she doesn't like the thought of you marrying Kristoff. She could take it to mean that is your intention, and you wish to do it behind her back."
"But I don't want to marry him!" Anna realized how loud her protest was and cleared her throat. Woah, where did that come from? "It's got nothing to do with any of that. I don't want her to be angry that's all. I don't want to make her angry and I don't want to hurt her."
"Why do you think it would hurt her so terribly?"
Anna started to speak and stopped mid-breath. Why do I think it would? It's just a kiss. She's got to be expecting it to happen at some point—he is my boyfriend, after all. I mean, I kissed her—and, wow, that felt so much better than kissing him. If was going to do it again, I'd really rather do it with her … Would she even let me do it a second time? Wait, what? Kristoff, I'm supposed to be thinking about Kristoff! Swallowing she gave the troll a wan smile. "We're sisters, aren't we? I'm always worried things I do with Kristoff will hurt her—"
"Why? As you say, she is your sister. Your relationship with him is a completely different kind, is it not? Being angry, or hurt … these are feelings a sibling might hold, yes, but the way you talk about Elsa seems more in the realm of—"
"What? No! It's just that we've only been back together a few months, and she might think I don't want to spend time with her, or—" Anna sighed heavily. "She's jealous of him. I spend too much time with him, and I know it. That's the reason she'll get pissed when I tell her. And she'll be hurt I didn't tell her right away. We just started talking again. I don't want to screw that up."
Grand Pabbie shook his head and sighed. "The fact remains, despite all the possible ways she might respond, that if you don't tell her, someone else will and that will hurt more than anything. Don't you agree?"
"I … yes." Dropping her head, Anna blinked away tears. "I know I have to do it, I was just … I was hoping you could tell me how."
"Directly, if you ask my opinion on the matter." The elder troll reached out and touched her hand. "The bond between you and Elsa is strong—stronger than you realize. The only way to truly hurt her is to lie."
Anna looked at him, still sniffling. "What if she gets angry at Kristoff?"
"I think you could calm her fears on that as well, were you to be truthful about it." Grand Pabbie studied her. "You do not love him. You can deny it all you want, but that is the truth."
Anna's eyes widened. "How … Why are you so sure? I said I was confused, not that I didn't—"
"Magic, perhaps. Perhaps merely seeing how you are with him; it matters not. You do not love him. I've known this for some time now. It is pointless for you to continue pretending you do."
Anna blinked several times. "Huh? I only just realized yesterday—"
"Realized, perhaps, but you've known all along." The elderly troll studied her seriously. "There is another in your heart, a True Love you do not recognize. Do not rush so hastily to find what is already there. Kristoff is not the one."
"But … how could I not recognize my True Love? Isn't that supposed to sort of hit you between the eyes?"
Grand Pabbie chuckled deeply. "And yet you thought Kristoff was he." When Anna turned pink, he laughed again. "In a way, young Anna, you are correct. When you do recognize this love, it may very well feel as though you were being 'hit between the eyes,' as you put it."
Anna shifted. "I really did think I was in love with him."
"No, you wanted to be in love with him and so made yourself believe it. There is a love between you that will not end, but it is not the love you were seeking." He looked thoughtful momentarily. "I think that perhaps it was also to keep you from seeing your real True Love for what it is."
"You sound like you know who he is," Anna responded, slightly annoyed.
The troll shrugged as best he could. "You must find it on your own for it to be believed. You can reach out and touch it, but until you see it for what it truly is, what you touch will feel no different."
"Ugh, I hate it when you give me riddles!" Anna made a sweeping gesture with her arms. "And I can't think of anyone I might be in love with if I'm not with Kristoff." Her thoughts turned to Elsa ever so briefly. I kinda felt different when I kissed her, but that's … a strange ache started in her stomach, similar to the ache she'd felt the previous evening; now, as then, she refused to recognize it. Give it a rest, Anna. You're getting obsessed with that idea. Elsa is the last person I'd ….
"I suspect you will find your answer sooner rather than later." Grand Pabbie stroked his chin and studied her seriously. "You must be open to any possibility, however. Preconceived notions will be your enemy as they will be the enemy of others; this love will require you to fight for it."
Anna tugged on her braids nervously. "I'm kinda tired of fighting, Grand Pabbie. I don't know if I'm up for more."
"You possess more strength than you believe, Anna." The elder troll made a noise and looked past her. "It seems Kristoff has come looking for you."
"Really?" she turned just as the blond stepped into the clearing. "Oh, hey." She hoped her smile was more genuine than it felt.
Kristoff scratched his head and looked between the two. "Did I interrupt?"
Grand Pabbie turned to him. "No. Our conversation is just over now. You go back, Anna. I believe Kristoff has questions for me as well."
"Oh. Um. Okay. Good luck … I mean, have fun … I mean … I'll go play with the little ones." Afraid of what Kristoff's questions were, but not wanting to hear them, she backpedaled and tripped on a root, recovered and darted into the woods. "Some help he was," she muttered as she made her way back to the main clearing. "Am I supposed to go around staring at everyone I know until I feel something? They'd think I was crazy—crazier than they already do."
"Ah, Anna!" Bulda was on her the moment she returned to the grove. "We were just wondering where you were. The little ones are all eager to play with you."
Anna looked at her helplessly for a moment and then sighed. If she didn't focus on it, maybe she'd understand who this mysterious "True Love" was faster. "I'm sure they are." She glanced back at the woods and then allowed Bulda to walk her into the crowd of little trolls all clamoring for the chance to play first. She didn't feel better, but at least she had something to chew on.
Once Anna was out of sight, Kristoff turned to his grandfather and smiled nervously. "Did you see the sleigh?" The elder troll looked at him silently and Kristoff shifted. "It has a cup holder."
"Yes, I've heard. That was very kind of Anna."
Kristoff coughed. "And Elsa. She gave me a title … Royal Ice Cutter or something. I don't get that, but I suppose she was trying to thank me."
"I've also heard you thanked Anna quite publicly. Do you think that was a wise decision?" Grand Pabbie narrowed his gaze slightly. "Especially considering you've seemed somewhat distracted your last few visits."
Kristoff jumped and looked embarrassed. "No, it wasn't a wise decision at all." He looked at the ground. "You're right about what's going on between me and Anna, and me and my head."
Grand Pabbie smiled slightly. "Perceptive of you to see a difference. I assume your feelings differ between them? Perhaps your mind is trying to tell you something you should heed."
"Yesterday … I really felt we loved each other, enough to kiss her."
"And today?"
Shifting, Kristoff shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know if she's in love with me. It's all knotted up and confusing. Sven thinks I'm an idiot for not seeing the truth, but I don't know what the truth even is."
The elder troll sighed heavily. "Are you certain?"
"If I did, I wouldn't be here. I don't know what I should do, Grand Pabbie." Kristoff ran his hand through his hair, trying to put into words the strange emotions swirling inside.
Grand Pabbie nodded sagely before scratching his chin. "I've noticed that things are different of late," he said in a voice that Kristoff knew meant his awareness of the situation was deeper than simple observations. "Do you have thoughts you are uncertain you should share with her?"
"Well … maybe … um … I'm not really sure." Kristoff paced a few steps and turned back. "I don't know what I should do. She seems like she loves me … most times … she cuddles with me and all that … but then I get this feeling she isn't. Like when she looks at.… The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but… I just don't know."
"What do you think you might do to hurt Anna if you aren't certain she's in love with you?"
Kristoff started to speak and then stopped. "Well, she can be really sensitive and if she is in love and I tell her I'm not sure, she might think it's something she did."
"In love with whom?"
"Huh?" Kristoff stared at him. "Me. Who else could there be?"
The elder troll studied him. "Then you are worried that telling her you don't love her will be painful to her, is that correct?"
"Hey, I never said I didn't love her! Just … not sure." Kristoff looked away.
Grand Pabbie shook his head slightly. "An educated guess. As for what the 'truth' you are seeking is—you have an answer to that already, Kristoff. What is it that you're trying not to think about?"
Kristoff shuffled his feet. "It's just that… I talked to Elsa last night, and she seemed very against us marrying. She also seemed really worried that Anna might get hurt." He paused and drew in a deep breath. Beating around the bush with the elder troll was useless, and he knew it. "I don't want her to freeze me."
Grand Pabbie nodded sagely and stroked his chin again. "Yes, I can see where that would be a concern. Do you really think that she would do such a thing?"
"Um … well, obviously not … probably. I think … I mean, it is a little extreme … but, well … I already have to wear a jacket around her, so … if I hurt Anna … she might … I know what happened to Anna when Elsa lost it."
"I believe that was an accident, was it not? She has certainly grown since then, especially being reunited with her sister." Grand Pabbie studied him. "Telling Anna you don't love her couldn't possibly anger Elsa enough to give back all she's gained."
Kristoff paced back and forth with everything in his mind swirling together. He hoped he could be coherent enough that the elder troll would at least understand some of what he was trying to say. "Anna doesn't see it, but there's something about Elsa that's off. Not off as in bad, I think. Well, maybe bad for me … It's just that she's… Well, she's…" Grand Pabbie raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue. "Sven thinks Elsa's in love with Anna."
"Sven thinks this?" Kristoff nodded and his grandfather sighed heavily. "Perhaps you should try to see what he sees before you make up your mind."
"Um … Well ... I can't say for sure he's wrong. She definitely wants more from Anna than being a sister. I'm a little surprised Anna doesn't see it herself." Kristoff blushed slightly. "Maybe she does. I don't know. Sven thinks they're in love with each other, but that's just silly."
After several long seconds the elder troll sighed and shook his head. "Are you certain it isn't that Elsa feels guilty? Perhaps she is trying too hard to make amends with her sister."
"Oh. Well … I hadn't thought about that, actually. Maybe that's part of it, but …." Kristoff trailed off and glanced over at Anna again. There were two little trolls tugging on her braids in an apparent attempt to steal her from one of the adults she was talking to. He sighed. "It's not all of it."
"Either way, you've said little about your feelings for Anna. Are your only concerns about the relationship because of her sister?"
Kristoff blushed. "Of-of course not!" He stammered. "It's just that Elsa has me the most nervous."
"Are you nervous because you still wish to marry Anna despite your assurances to Elsa?"
"How did you—" Kristoff shook his head. His grandfather knew things that there was no way to know. This wasn't the first time. Anna must have told him. "I said I had no plans to propose, and that was true. Problem is, I'm not sure she believed me."
Grand Pabbie sighed. "And do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Expect to propose; not right away perhaps, but later? Is your concern about deciding if you love her before you do that—a wise question to ask yourself? If so, that is the question I cannot answer. It is different for everyone." Grand Pabbie looked keenly at him.
Kristoff shifted uncomfortably. "No ... Yes … Um… I don't think I want to marry her. I just don't know why. She's beautiful and funny and she gets my jokes—most of the time. She even talks to Sven sometimes. She's always smiling … it's impossible to be in a bad mood when she's around. And she isn't all clingy like she has to fix everything. She lets me be me."
"Hmm. So far, I see your confusion. She does seem an ideal match for you. Why do you think you aren't in love with her?"
"I don't know if I'm in love, because I don't know what love is." Kristoff paced some more and scratched his head. "That's what I was hoping you could help me with. How are men supposed to feel when they're in love? Angels? Trumpets? Freya knocking them in the head?"
Grand Pabbie burst into laughter. "That is a question you should have asked a long time ago, Kristoff. Unfortunately, it is another I cannot answer—though I've never heard of Freya hitting anyone to give them relationship advice. What is important, is the future; can you see yourself together with Anna happily, in five years, ten, or forty?"
"Well… I can, but… The thing is… Well, about… You know, the other thing."
"Ah. Do you not wish to do that with her? That would indeed raise questions as to your true feelings."
Kristoff rubbed his face wearily. "Ugh. This is so embarrassing. I wish I could figure out that part on my own, without having to talk about it. I can't though. I get… I mean physically, there's no problem there. She's beautiful, and she's really soft and smells good."
"Then why are you asking my advice?"
"It's just that … I mean, I have no problem imagining it, but sometimes when I think about her like that I feel like … like it's wrong somehow. Like … her personality is just so … nice—innocent, maybe? Why do I feel that when most of the time … yeah." Kristoff blushed heavily.
His grandfather blinked several times. "Anna is innocent. I thought it was one of the things you liked about her."
Kristoff growled in frustration. "I know! It is! So why do I sometimes feel like I'm lusting after my sister? It's bad enough that Elsa looks at her like that without me doing it, too." He realized what he'd said and turned even redder. "I didn't mean Elsa wanted to … but sometimes the way they look at each other is kind of … Elsa is definitely possessive. But of course they'd never actually—"
"And you are so certain of this because?"
"They're sisters! I mean, I know they haven't seen each other in forever but they are still sisters. Anna makes that clear all the time—that she thinks of Elsa as her sister." Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck. "So even if Elsa does … well … well, that might be bad for me. Worse, really."
Grand Pabbie studied him with an inscrutable face and was silent for long enough to make Kristoff uncomfortable. Finally, the elder troll turned and looked toward Anna, now being twirled around by several young trolls all vying for her attention. "So your concern about Elsa is that she might be angry for more reasons that being Anna's sister. Is that the case?"
"No! No, of course I didn't—" he cut off when his grandfather gave him the look that told him Grand Pabbie was already aware of the answer. "Okay, that's part of it. I mean, Elsa does try to be nice to me, but I always get the feeling she thinks I'm butting into her relationship with Anna. I don't mean as sisters. I've seen them together, Anna doesn't act with me the way she acts with her, either."
"Perhaps it is simply that they are too naïve to understand their feelings, while innocent to them, appear inappropriate to others. They are both still learning how to live in a world outside the castle gates, and that includes showing affection."
Kristoff sighed and shook his head. "If anything, they don't understand that actions speak louder than words. I'm certainly not going to bring it up, either. I'm just wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong that's keeping me and Anna from getting to that level. That's why I'm not sure this is love. Whatever it is, it kind of hurts to come in second to her sister."
"Trolls—and other beings of magic and nature—have a greater ability to see what is inside people's hearts and minds than they do. You were raised among us, and you have gained some of that skill. You call it a gut feeling, but it is the same. You have always followed this feeling, have you not?"
"Well … yeah, I guess I have." The blond shifted uncomfortably.
The elder troll studied him sternly. "Then why are you not following it now? You are ignoring what your gut is telling you when it comes to Anna. What is it that you don't want to face?"
Kristoff shrugged helplessly. "You talked to her; did she say anything about her feelings?"
"She did, and they are not mine to repeat. This is between you and her. You are also avoiding my question."
"I dunno, I guess … I really don't want to hurt her, and I don't want to get frozen, but … mostly … I'm lonely." It was hard to make the admission, especially to himself, but it was true. "I mean, I have you and everyone else, but … I don't have anyone outside the valley that loves me like you do. I have Sven, but y'know … no matter what everyone says, I do not … um, yeah. No."
Grand Pabbie made a disapproving noise. "And so being lonely has made you believe Anna is in love with you and you are in love with her, when your gut tells you otherwise, is that not true?"
Hanging his head, Kristoff sighed. "Yeah. Maybe I'm just seeing something between her and Elsa because I want an excuse. Though I'm pretty sure there is, whether they realize it or not." He looked up again. "To be honest, I think Anna does know, a little. Maybe that's why I can't see her as my girlfriend … wife … um…"
"Hmm." Grand Pabbie considered him. "You perceive this, when no one else would consider it given they are sisters, but you do not perceive what is inside you?"
Kristoff couldn't look him in the face and shuffled his feet. "It's just hard to believe, especially since Anna … is with me."
His grandfather made a sharp noise. "It seems, Kristoff that the actual question is, what are you truly concerned about? Is it if you are in love with Anna, or if Anna is in love with her sister? If you feel Elsa is the one Anna wishes to be intimate with, I would understand your hesitation to pursue such a relationship with her."
Eyes widening, Kristoff straightened up and started waving his arms. "Woah! Woah! I never said they were really like that. Ok, way too close for sisters, but not … I mean …"
"Like what? You have said they seem to be closer than most siblings, and that Anna looks at her sister the way you think she should look at you." His grandfather looked as innocent as a troll could.
"Um. Well. That doesn't mean I think they would…."
"And why not?"
"Well … girls can't… I know how it works, mostly, and girls don't have the right… Well… They can't do that together." Kristoff fought the blush, the blush that grew deeper when he saw the look of amusement Grand Pabbie was giving him.
His grandfather chuckled. "I assure you girls can do that together. There is something else you said earlier—don't you think Anna's repeated denials are a little odd? Especially given the behavior you are telling me of."
"Are you saying they are in love? Grand Pabbie … they're sisters. They can't be in love … well, I guess they could be in love, they kinda act like it sometimes … but … they certainly wouldn't do … um …." To his embarrassment, a momentary image flashed in his head of the two doing just that.
Worse, for that split second he believed that Anna belonged in her sister's arms, and no one else's. He coughed and prayed the elder troll couldn't read his thoughts or decipher the sudden flaming of his face.
"Why? True, there are a multitude of reasons that such close relationships shouldn't happen, and in general I would never condone one." The elder troll walked a few feet and studied the forest for several seconds. "In the case of Anna and Elsa, however, there are other considerations to account for."
"Huh?"
Grand Pabbie looked back at him. "I'm not saying that they would act on their feelings, or that they will ever even realize them. As you say, it is against the generally accepted moral code. I'm saying that should it happen, I can only imagine there are greater reasons for it than love."
Kristoff scratched his head. "Well, I suppose, but…."
"You already know what I'm telling you, Kristoff. I believe you sense that your role in Anna's life will be important, but different from what you wish for. What that role is, I cannot say."
"I just don't want to be alone anymore," Kristoff muttered, looking at the ground.
"You will know soon enough who your True Love is." Grand Pabbie looked at him sympathetically. "It is one of those things that you cannot understand until you find. This will happen for you very soon, I believe. Whether it be Anna, or not, knowing will put your mind at ease."
With a heavy sigh, Kristoff nodded, and then looked up at his grandfather. "Anna will be okay, won't she? Whatever happens … I mean, I do love her, even if I'm not the one for her."
Grand Pabbie smiled gently. "Anna will be fine. I hope you never lose that desire to protect her; she may need it in the future. Also, as much as Elsa seems to dislike you, she does consider you the best guard Anna might have."
"She does? How do you know that?" Kristoff looked at Grand Pabbie in confusion. The troll shrugged and Kristoff blew out his breath. "Well, as long as Anna's happy…"
"She will be, Kristoff, and so will you." He paused. "Would you ask Anna to come back, please? I've something else to discuss with her that shouldn't wait."
Kristoff nodded and headed back to the grove the trolls called home with a strange feeling that whatever Grand Pabbie said, Anna would come back changed. Changed how was the question, and he wasn't entirely certain he wanted to know the answer.
Anna came into the clearing a little nervous. Grand Pabbie usually said what he had to say and was done with it, so being called back was a bit unnerving. The elder troll was looking in the other direction, so she took a moment to breathe before speaking.
"Did you want to see me again, Grand Pabbie?"
Grand Pabbie turned to her with a slightly concerned expression. "I have been thinking about our conversation, and there are important things I wish to add."
"Did Kristoff say something?" Anna glanced at the grove and the broad blond talking to his mother. "I'd like to know what's going on in his head, that's for sure."
"He asked the same question, and I will give you the same answer; that is between you and him. I will give you advice, but I will not meddle that deeply." The troll paused, still looking concerned. "Is there anything you didn't bring up to me, thoughts or worries?"
Puzzled, Anna shook her head. "I'm pretty sure we covered it. I mean … unless you have some solution to how I should handle Kristoff…."
"And your sister?"
Anna was silent for a long moment, fighting the wish to pretend that matter was settled. "What about her?" she finally squeaked.
"Are you at all confused about your relationship with her? Perhaps the reason she has been distant." Grand Pabbie was looking at her intently. "Or the reason you don't want to hurt her."
"Huh? That's all about Kristoff. Well, the distant part isn't completely because of him, but … I wasn't involved in that, so I don't have to worry about it. I mean, I worry about it, it's just not anything I did, so I don't have to dwell on it."
"Anna, there are things in this world that exist without being named. This does not make them any less real, or important. I believe what you're facing is one of these things."
"What do you mean? I'm just confused about how to tell Kristoff that I…" She looked away, feeling the elder troll's gaze upon her.
Grand Pabbie was silent; his gaze never wavered, and Anna started to feel very uncomfortable. Finally he sighed and shook his head. "You know your feelings for him and you know that you must tell him what they are. The question in your mind is why. Is it not?"
Slowly, Anna nodded. "He's everything a girl could ask for—other than the reindeer smell, and I'm used to that by now. Why haven't I fallen in love with him?"
"Have you considered that the reason may lie beyond Kristoff himself?" The troll made a vague gesture. "Love is something that often does not follow the rules, at least not the rules that humans try to place on it. That makes it difficult to recognize that it has happened to you."
"What do you mean? Something has happened to me?" Anna frowned. "What kind of thing?"
Grand Pabbie sighed. "There is something within you trying to escape; you are fighting this thing with all your might, but for what reason?"
"I don't understand."
"It would be easier to show you than to explain it." The troll made a slight gesture, and the air began to sparkle with tiny crystals of what Anna thought was ice. "If you will allow me, I can give you the chance to discover your true path."
Anna blinked several times. "A vision?" Grand Pabbie nodded. "Well … I suppose … um, should I sit down?"
The elder troll chuckled. "That would probably be best."
"O-ok." She was filled with half-excitement, half-dread at what was about to happen. He wouldn't hurt her, that she knew. But what would be involved in a vision … that was foreign. She drew in a deep breath and waited.
She had seen Grand Pabbie do many mystical things, but nothing like what she was seeing now. The air sparkled even more and then condensed around her into misty forms and settings. She was still in the grove, but elsewhere at the same time.
Gradually, she felt transported to another place, but a place without time, existing yet not existing, real but imaginary.
It was somewhere she knew though she knew she was not there. Yet she was. Would be? Could be? Her puzzled thoughts faded as the images, though still indistinct, began to make sense in her mind.
Forms, shapes, and thoughts all began to coalesce within her. Still, she couldn't fully understand them. They came within her grasp only to dance away when she tried to capture them.
She felt warm, loved, and found herself with another person. It was not Kristoff; it didn't seem large enough to be any man, not even Hans. Even so, she was drawn in, wanting nothing more than to discover who the form was, almost desperate to touch their skin.
Her fingers were resting on soft cheeks, high cheekbones distinct even though she couldn't see them. She still knew they were there. The warmth surrounding her thickened, wrapping her in a soft blanket where she wanted to stay forever. Belonging … was it her own bed? No, she sensed it was another's, but hers at the same time.
Ours? No, not yet.
"Soon, Anna, soon." Was it her own voice? She thought not, but though familiar, she couldn't decide who else it could be. Wanting to reach that "soon," she began to move her hands, drifting across this body she could almost make out, but was yet too misty to see.
She could feel, and she did, tracing features—the line of a jaw, a small nose, soft lips, the long curve of a slender throat, and finally down shoulders to the curve of a breast. Her heart began to thud heavily as she traced the rise of the supple mound, wanting to memorize everything about it.
She needed this … the warmth, the sense of longing for—and belonging to—the form underneath her … she hungered for it as she'd never hungered before.
Her breath caught as her fingers found a hardened peak rising from skin too soft to belong to a man. The images were still indistinct, but she didn't need to see to realize that the body she was touching, eagerly exploring, was that of a woman.
Author Notes: Things are starting to fall into place for Anna and Elsa. Kristoff still has a part to play, but his story will be fading until later.
I am well into Chapter 12, but I am participating in NaNoWriMo with a novel I will be finishing for publication. Alas, I have to write for pay to if I want to write for play. I will try to get the next chapter out soon but no guarantees. I'm also throwing together a blog, though if it will go anywhere is anybody's guess.
What follows may offend some people, but frankly, I don't care.
I am new to serial writing. My plotting methods are ones I use in my novels, and tend to be complex. I'm working to learn how to properly plot for serial release, but Crocus is plotted as a novel, and has multiple storylines planned. It is primarily an ElsAnna romance, but there is a lot more going on around the sisters that will have an impact on their relationship.
The story of the romance involves a great deal more than getting the pair into bed. I offer two words for those who think my writing is scattered or needs to focus on only the romance: Chekov's Gun. Nothing I write is a frivolous aside. I am not a teenager writing for the first time. I know exactly what I'm doing and if my writing style bothers you, go elsewhere. If you want a plot only involving sex, this is not the story for you. End of discussion.