Slowly I opened my eyes a dull pounding in my left temple. I had no clue where I was, my brain was sluggish and slow.

Slowly my vision came into place. I was looking at a gorgeous young blond who for whatever reason was holding a frying pan tucked under her arm. As my sense slowly returned a strange wet feeling began to develop in my left ear.

Looking over I saw tiny a green lizard with large brown eyes. Suddenly everything came back to me. "Would you stop that?!" I yelled sending the lizard off with a shake of my shoulders and rubbing my ear on my shirt.

My captor, Blondie, had her arms crossed and was smiling at me full of smugness. " now it's hidden where you'll never find it," she told me.

I didn't doubt it, and even if I had I wouldn't have gone looking for my satchel either because I knew it would just mean getting knocked out again.

"So," she said flipping her hair behind her and walking around me in a slow threatening circle, "what do you want with my hair?"

I paused confused, what on earth was she going on about. Her hair was pretty but why on earth would I want it?

"To cut it?" she asked,

"What?" I exclaimed fairly confused now,

"sell it?" she asked sticking her frying pan under my chin like it was a butcher's knife.

"Noooo" I said completely weirded out by the girl, whose sanity I was now questioning.

"listen," I told her, "the only thing I want to do with your hair, is get out of it."

I glanced down at my entrapped state.

"Literally" she leaned in again,

"ye-" she paused and then drew back, "wait, so you don't want my hair?" she asked for whatever reason confused.

"Why on earth would I want your hair?!" I exclaimed staring at her with profound revulsion.

Stealing someone's hair, ew, no. my hair is delightfully perfect why would I need hers?

"Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it, end of story." I explained to her managing to leave out the whole theft and illegal part.

"You're telling the truth?" she asked puzzled,

"yes!" I told her, and for once I actually was.

She waved the fryin pan in my face as if it was a lie detector. The little lizard dude crawled out from behind her hair and scurried down to the edge of the frying pan staring down at me, he was way too close for comfort, in fact that seemed to be a bit of a habit for the little guy. After a few seconds he seemed to have decided he had scrutinized his full and he gestured with his tail to Blondie to move backwards. She slowly stepped back and then ran away to talk quietly to the lizard in the corner.

I hadn't been one hundred percent serious before when I said I was questioning her sanity, but I definitely was now, then again I had fought with a horse today so who was I to talk. They, or should I say she, was talking in the corner squatting down with her back to me, she was whispering but I did pick up bits and pieces. I really had no clue what she was talking about. I couldn't see how "doesn't have fangs" could fit into her conversation so I gave up trying to listen in, instead I tried to untangle myself by moving the chair around and squirming, it wasn't working.

"Ok, Flynn Ryder," she said with her back still to me "I am prepared to offer you a deal."

That didn't sound good; I didn't do deals, especially not with gorgeous young women who I wouldn't find pleasure in betraying.

"Deal?" I asked.

"Look this way," she instructed.

Realizing I couldn't move she pulled hard on her hair trying to turn the chair I was sitting in towards the wall she was facing, instead all she did was flip the chair over.

"Ow," I muttered.

I was now squashed on the floor in an extremely uncomfortable position. I looked up to see Blondie standing on top of her fireplace.

"Do you know what these are?" she asked pulling back a curtain to reveal a painting.

The painting showed her sitting in a valley facing the night sky which was lit up by thousands of floating lights.

"You mean the lantern thing they do for the princess?" I asked my face still squashed on the floor.

Blondie looked away from me and up to her painting her wall of hard interrogation falling away for a moment.

"Lanterns," I heard her murmur to herself, "I knew they weren't stars."

This puzzled me, how could she have not already known that they were lanterns, it was common knowledge.

"Well tomorrow evening they will light the night sky with these lanterns," she said lanterns like she was trying it out, "you will act as my guide, take me to these lanterns and return me home safely."

I winced understanding flowing through me, crap, I couldn't do this. I would have to find a way to convince her not to.

"Then, and only then, will I return your satchel to you."

Ya, this definitely wasn't going to work for me.

"That is my deal." She pronounced crossing her frying pan over her heart like she was making some cheesy oath.

"Ya" I said groaning as I lifted myself up with my fingertips and flipped me and the chair onto its side. "No can do, unfortunately the kingdom and I aren't exactly simpatico," I said making quotation marks, "at the moment." I looked at her putting all the meaning and frankness I could into my gaze, "so I won't be taking you anywhere."

She looked down at me blankly for a few moments as if she didn't understand. Then casually she looked to the lizard on her shoulder, I swear he made a little pounding motion with his tiny little fists, I don't know maybe I'm the crazy one now.

Frying pan still in hand she hopped down from the top of the fireplace her serious and maybe even partially crazed expression back. She grabbed the end of her hair, the part that lead right off from the bit tied to me and the chair.

"Something brought you here, Flynn Ryder" she said pulling me and the chair up and towards her, "call it what you will, fate, destiny,"

"a horse," I interjected unimpressed by her gusto.

"so I have made the decision to trust you," I looked at her, she really had to be dim to do that, people who trusted me always ended up unhappy. She was now very close to me.

"A horrible decision really," I told her honestly. I don't think she was actually listening to me.

"But trust me when I tell you this," she leaned in her face suddenly threatening, somehow.

She pulled me forward by grabbing the back of the chair and tilting it towards her, was it bad that part of me was consumed by how kissable and how close her lips were?

"You can tear this tower apart brick by brick" she whispered, "but without my help, you will never find your precious satchel."

I looked at her, "let me get this straight," I said clearing my throat, "I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel?"

"I promise." She told me, I looked at her and raised my eyebrows, to me that really meant nothing, especially from a girl like her, pretty girls made promises all the time to guys like me, they never kept them.

She leaned in closer narrowing her eyes, "And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise."

I raised my eyebrow at her, "ever." She repeated. The lizard waggled its tiny little eyebrows and nodded its head yes as if it was agreeing with her.

I looked up at her taking in her pretty and honesty really cute appearance, serious expression, and annoying little friend the lizard. I didn't want to but I would have to seduce her.

I had learned over the years that I had been born handsome. I hadn't had parents or food or money, but I had my good looks and wits, and that had kept me alive.

I had never met a girl who I couldn't seduce into doing what I wanted her to. Usually it didn't bother me, but for whatever I was hesitant to play with Blondie, she was just so innocent, I didn't want to taint her, but I had no choice.

"Alright, listen," I told her ramping up the charm, "I didn't want to do this, but you leave e no choice," I looked deep into her eyes, for a moment I was almost distracted, "here comes the smolder."

I looked at her and I put on my full out Flannigan Ryder seduction, if I did this to any other girl she would probably faint or throw herself at me, it was slightly disturbing but it helped if you needed a meal and a bed for the night if the inn keepers daughter would willingly sneak you in. I looked at her my lips puckered slightly and my eyebrows raised, I waited for her to react like other girls did, but all she did was look at me confused and disturbed.

I didn't understand, this had never happened to me (except for that one time I had done it to a young boy who I had thought was a girl but that was different ok?)

"This is kind of an off day for me," I admitted, "this doesn't normally happen."

I looked at her waiting for some sign of caving, but instead she just looked more stubborn then before. I briefly considered my options, reluctantly I realized I really only had one.

"Fine," I gave in, "I'll take you to see the lanterns."

Obviously I had been underestimating how badly she wanted to go, with that she let go of the chair to have a girly moment or whatever, so happy about getting to go see the stupid lanterns she forgot that she had been the only thing stopping me from plummeting to the ground.

"Really?" she squealed, happy as could be while I lay on the ground in pain.

She glanced back just realizing then what she had done.

"Oops," she sort of apologized.

"You broke my smolder" I moaned, collapsing into a heap.