A/N: Hi guys. Here's the next one. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you to all who are reading, and reviewers, you're the best. Please keep all the good and bad comments coming. As I said before, I want to know it all. I want to know what you truly think, and while I can't please everyone, I do take every comment into consideration.
To address a question about Julian: I know in this timeline on the show, Julian and Brooke were together, and I probably should have mentioned this sooner, but in this story there was never a Brulian. Julian is just Peyton's ex and movie producer who came to work on Luke's movie, and then went back to L.A. when the movie got cancelled. Brooke is dating in general, but nobody specific or special.
Any questions regarding aspects of the story itself should be asked in either a signed in review or a pm so that I can send a personal reply. I don't want to put it on here and spoil it for those who don't want to know. Thanks. And now onto the story. I know, finally, right? LOL.
...
She was curled up in a ball on her old bed when he got to the Sawyer residence. She was sobbing hysterically and he felt his heart constrict at the sight of it.
"Hey," he spoke softly, his feet taking him across the room to the bed. He sat beside her and touched her arm softly. "What's wrong?"
She was much too choked up to answer so he guided her to a sitting position and folded his arms around her, holding her tightly as she cried, her tears drenching his shirt.
When her sobs finally subsided, he pulled back to look at her, still holding her arms. "Peyton, what's wrong?" he asked again. "And what's this about not going back to L.A.?"
"Lucas..." she began, a tremor in her voice.
"What about him?" Nathan questioned. "Did he do something? Peyton!" he pressed when she didn't answer. "What did Lucas do?"
"He's trying to take Sawyer from me," she managed to say.
Nathan frowned. "What?"
"I went to talk to him about joint custody because I thought that would be fair for everyone..."
Nathan nodded in agreement.
"But he already applied for sole custody."
He shook his head, a deeper frown appearing on his face. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "He's already got the paperwork for it. And the divorce too."
Nathan could only stare in bewilderment. Luke had just learned of her affair yesterday and already he'd filed for divorce and sole custody? That was fast.
"And he's going for no access," she informed him. "He doesn't want me seeing her at all."
"Why?" he asked, stumped.
"Because I'm a terrible mother who can't teach her anything but how to betray her family."
"He said that?"
"Not in so many words, but basically," she replied.
"He's wrong, Peyton," Nathan told her. "You're a great mother. Lucas knows that. He's just pissed right now and is trying to punish you."
"That's what I said too," she admitted. "And I know that's probably the case, but he didn't say anything that wasn't true. I did betray them..."
"Him," Nathan corrected. "You're the one always telling me I'm still Jamie's dad no matter what, so then you're still Sawyer's mom."
"Not if Luke has his way," Peyton returned sadly.
"So don't give it to him," Nathan replied. "Fight him, Peyton. Don't just let him take her. You can fight this."
"With what? Buttons? I don't have money for a decent lawyer. And he's gonna use the last three months I was away against me. He already basically said so. God, Nathan, what were we thinking? We should have known no good could come of this."
He turned his head, unsure how to answer that question. The only thing they'd been thinking was they liked being together. They'd both known what they were risking by letting it happen.
Or, at least they thought they'd known. But neither one had anticipated that either of them could lose their children over it. As far as he was concerned, they were still good parents despite wronging their spouses. The kids had nothing to do with it.
"Look," he finally spoke. "Luke's just mad right now, and rightfully so. Once he calms down he'll see that he can't keep you from Sawyer. He'll realize that it would hurt her just as much as it hurts you and he'll drop this whole 'no access' bullshit."
"And if he doesn't?"
"He will."
"Unless you can guarantee that, then please stop saying it," she snapped sharply.
"Hey," he said softly, pulling her into another hug. "I'm just trying to help."
She nodded against his shoulder and cried some more.
Rubbing her back soothingly, he whispered in her ear. "It's gonna be ok, Peyton."
They were quiet for a long while before he spoke again. "Come back to L.A. with me tomorrow," he said.
"I can't," she replied. "Not if he's gonna use it against me."
"So, what are you gonna do?" he asked, pulling back slightly once more. "Just give up your career?"
"What choice do I have? He's not going to let me take her to L.A."
"Peyton, you're her mom. You have as many rights as he does. Fight this," Nathan said as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet.
"I already told you I don't have the money for..." She halted abruptly when he pulled out a credit card from his wallet and held it out to her.
"You do now," he said.
...
"Lucas, hey," Haley greeted her best friend when he showed up at her door. She'd expected him over at this time. She had, after all, said she'd watch Sawyer this weekend as part of their deal for taking Jamie Thursday night—last night. Sure, it had proven unnecessary since Nathan had been home to watch him, but that didn't mean she couldn't still hold up her end of the bargain. However, a quick glance around told her he didn't have Sawyer with him. "Let me guess," she said as Luke stepped inside. "Sawyer's with Peyton and you don't need me until tomorrow when she goes back to L.A."
"Actually," Lucas said, "I dropped Sawyer off with my mom and Andy. I need to talk to you and Nathan about something. It's important but I dread it, and I wanted to get it done without having to chase Sawyer around while I do it."
"Ok," Haley returned, her expression turning serious when she noticed the same on him. "Well, Nathan's gone to get a few things at the grocery store before he picks up Jamie. He'll be back soon but you can talk to me in the meantime."
"It's probably something you should both be here for, since you're likely gonna want to consult with him first anyway."
"Luke, what is it?" Haley asked with concern. "Consult with him about what?"
"Like I said..."
"Luke," she cut off sharply. "Tell me what's going on. Is everything ok?"
That was all it took for his eyes to water. He shook his head and swallowed the painful lump in his throat. "No," he replied, his voice cracking. "And it's never gonna be ok again."
She instantly put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Whatever was bothering him was big, and he had her worried. "What's wrong?" she questioned forcefully. No way could she wait for Nathan to get back to hear whatever bad news her best friend had. Even if it was only a short while.
Lucas took a deep, strengthening breath before answering. "I need to borrow money from you guys if that's ok."
"Of course," Haley replied instantly. There was no need to consult Nathan about that. She'd tell him, yes, but she knew he wouldn't have a problem with lending his brother money. "But why?" she asked, curiosity and concern waging a battle within her.
"Because I've hired the best family law lawyer in Tree Hill," he revealed. "And he's gonna want to get paid."
...
"Nathan, I can't take this," Peyton said, staring in awe at the credit card.
"You can, and you're going to," he insisted. "Use it to hire the best family law lawyer in Tree Hill. It's an old card that I don't even use anymore so it's empty."
She was shaking her head. "I can't ask you to pay my legal expenses, Nate. It's too much."
"You're not asking, and it's not too much when it's for your daughter," he countered. "Just take it, Peyton, in case I'm wrong about Luke calming down and eventually dropping this whole thing."
He could tell she wanted to accept, but she was still hesitant. He took her hands into his and held them, gazing at her intently. "It's not only about Lucas taking Sawyer from you," he began. "He'd also be taking you from her, and that's just wrong. She needs her mother."
"But the last three months," she said, her eyes filling up again. "Luke's right. I haven't been here for her."
"He's trying to make you feel guilty and like you don't deserve to have your daughter in your life," Nathan snapped hotly, angry at his brother for making her feel unworthy as a mother. "You made a career move that he agreed to. One that was meant to benefit your family in the end. Don't start feeling bad for that. Don't let him do that to you. Before three months ago, you were here every day with Sawyer, taking care of her while he spent all day writing. What's ok for him should be ok for you too."
"But he was still here," she countered. "He didn't have an affair."
"It doesn't matter. You love Sawyer and Lucas knows that," Nathan returned sternly. "Fight this, Peyton. Fight like hell. Don't let him take your daughter."
She nodded agreeably. "I will fight him," she said. "I have to."
He nodded in turn, satisfied with her answer.
"But I can't do that from L.A.," she went on. "Thank you, Nate, for this," she said indicating the credit card. "And for believing I can be a good mom and have a career too, but even with the best lawyer, I can't take the chance that my continued absence in her life will be held even more against me. I have to stay. Can you understand that?"
"Yeah," he instantly answered. Of course he understood it. Didn't mean he liked it. "It just sucks that it comes down to a choice between your kid and your career. It shouldn't be like that."
"A lot of things are as they shouldn't be," Peyton returned. "I think our affair makes the top of that list."
He didn't comment on that, just simply hung his head. "But you've worked so hard to get where you are," he said.
He got why she couldn't go. He really did. It was a shame though because not only would he be alone in L.A. again, but of all the people he knew, her drive and determination to succeed in her career was the only one comparable to his. She was just as ambitious, focused and career-oriented as he was. Maybe that was one reason he felt so drawn to her. Maybe.
"So, what are you gonna do here?" he wondered aloud. "Produce music again?"
"I don't know. I think that ship might be sailed," she replied. "I'll need something though. I'll have to support myself somehow."
"Not to mention Sawyer."
"Yeah, I hope," she answered.
"If you need help..."
"Thanks, you're doing enough."
He glanced over at her alarm clock, noting the time. "So look, I have to go pick up Jamie at school. Are you gonna be ok?"
Her face took on a look of surprise and guilt. "Oh God, I've been so stressed out with my own stuff that I completely forgot to ask how things went with Haley," she gasped. "Obviously she didn't pull a Lucas and keep you from Jamie."
"Haley would never do that," he said, a little more defensively than he meant to.
But Peyton nodded, knowing that was probably true. Nathan was the lucky one there. "How did she take the news?" she asked.
His turn to look guilty now. "I, uh...I... didn't tell her," he finally blurted out.
...
Haley's brows rose as she stared in confusion at the blond Scott before her. "Family law lawyer?" she gasped. "Luke, I don't understand."
"Peyton's gonna fight for joint custody, at the very least. She could win, and I can't let that happen."
"Wait, whoa, slow down," Haley said, even more confused. "Why..."
"She has a lover," he cut her off to say, his tone now pure ice. "In L.A."
Unable to help herself, Haley chuckled. "She does not," she said with a laugh. "Nice try, but you can't put one over on me that easily." When he didn't so much as crack a smile, her own faltered. "You're serious."
He nodded his head in reply. "She just told me last night, but it's been going on for three months."
"You're kidding?" Haley muttered, still in shock.
"Wish I was. I sure as hell didn't see it coming. She never let on. Not once."
"God, Luke, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now. Did she say anything else? Like why, how?"
"Yeah. Apparently she fell in love," he mocked. "And get this, the jackass knew she was married with a child, and is even married himself. Match made in heaven there," he said caustically.
More like hell, Haley silently thought. She shook her head in awe, completely taken aback by what she was hearing. Peyton had scratched and clawed her way through two women to get to Lucas, and for what? To cheat on him with a married man? Maybe she had been right three years ago when she'd asked Peyton if it was only the idea of Lucas she loved rather than Lucas himself.
She searched her mind for the right words to say to bring some sort of comfort to her best friend, but when that proved to be useless—there were no right words—she pulled him close and wrapped him in a protective hug. How could Peyton do this? How the hell could she do this?
...
She yanked her hands out of his grasp. "What do you mean you didn't tell her?" she asked. "You have to before Brooke does." Wasn't that the reason he'd given for changing his mind about taking this trip home? So he could tell Haley himself?
"Actually, I already talked to Brooke," he said, his tone soft as though he thought that would hurt Peyton less. "She's not going to say anything either."
Her expression changed from disappointment to bewilderment in a matter of seconds. How had he managed to convince Brooke not to talk? And then it occurred to her that it didn't really matter how he did it. "So you and Haley are still together?" she whispered despondently.
He simply nodded, almost imperceptibly.
"That's why you didn't answer my texts all day," she guessed. "I thought you were probably just upset after telling Haley, but you spent the day with her, didn't you?"
Another small nod. "I'm sorry, Peyton," he said, true regret in his tone. "We're gonna, well, I'm gonna, try to work on our marriage. My marriage."
"I see," she said, crestfallen. "And yet you're here. With me."
"You said you needed to talk to me," he pointed out.
"And here you are," she pointed back, anger quickly taking over as dominant emotion. "Funny way to work on your marriage."
"Nothing happened," he said.
"And by that you mean we didn't have sex," she shot out. "God, Nathan, you came to me when I called, comforted me. You handed me a freaking empty credit card! Don't tell me nothing happened?"
"What, am I supposed to just stop caring about you?" he thundered. "Peyton, we were friends long before we were lovers. I'm still allowed to care."
"Actually, we were lovers first, then friends, then lovers again," she reminded him.
"Whatever," he replied. "The point is I can still help you out when you need it."
"As a friend, you mean."
"Yes."
"You're an idiot," she hollered. "A complete and utter idiot if you think we can go back to that now. I just lost my husband and my best friend for you, and I may lose my daughter too! Do you get that, Nathan? There's no turning back from this. It's all or nothing."
"What do you want me to do, Peyton?" he yelled back. "Haley's been through everything with me. She helped me. She believed in me when no one else did. She loves me."
Peyton opened her mouth, just about to retort that she loved him, but she clamped it shut just in time and bit down hard on her bottom lip. He didn't need or deserve to know how her heart ached for him every single moment of the day. "She changed you is what she did," she finally said.
His heart actually dropped at her words. Why? He shook his head. What was he expecting her to say? That she loved him? Ridiculous. Peyton didn't love him. They didn't do love. They did lust with a side of caring. Haley loved him. "Yeah," he admitted. "She makes me a better person when I'm around her."
Peyton rolled her eyes. "Keep telling yourself that, Nathan. But the truth is you only show her the bits and pieces you want her to see."
"That's not true," he denied. "Haley's seen plenty I wish she hadn't."
"Because you can't help it sometimes," she countered. "But you try to hide it from her, your bad, dark side."
"Name me a husband who wouldn't."
"You don't do it with me," she pointed out. "You show me all sides of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The real Nathan Scott, not the one you try to be."
He shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Fine, I don't know what I'm talking about," she said, eerily quiet. "Clearly that's what you want to believe. So go," she said. "Go get your son and go home to Haley. Go play the devoted husband and family man while I'm named the little tramp who cheated on her husband with some mystery married man," she uttered, rage burning within her. "Funny how perceptions of two people who actually committed the same crime can be so opposite when people don't know the truth."
"Peyton, I'm sorry...I..."
"Go to hell, Nathan. We're done."
"I thought we already were," he replied. "That's what you told me. And Brooke too."
"And now it's official," she said coldly. "Congratulations, you're rid of me."
"That's not what I wanted."
"Well, it's what you got. And here," she said, handing him back his credit card. "You'll probably want that back now."
He shook his head, refusing to take it. "Use it to fight for Sawyer if you need to."
"Fine," she conceded. She had a feeling she would need it. "But only because I have to, and I'll pay you back whatever I use. Every cent."
"You don't have to do that," he replied. Money wasn't an issue for him.
"I'm paying it back," she insisted, until he lifted his hands in surrender. "Now get out."
He hung his head. "Peyton..." he called softly, but didn't know what to say after that. He should just take the easy out she was offering, but problem was it wasn't easy. He didn't want them to end. He didn't want to leave her. He wanted her with him. In L.A., and even right now in her bedroom, he wanted her.
He'd thought it would be easier here in Tree Hill where Haley was, to keep his distance from Peyton. Until now, it had been, but he realized now that that had only been because he'd known she'd be returning to L.A. with him.
"Just go, Nathan," she said, her words soft-spoken now. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."
She didn't want him to leave as much as he didn't want to leave. But she needed him to. She needed more from him than just a desire to have her. She needed him to love her, but he couldn't or wouldn't give her that. He would always search for ways to stay with Haley. She knew that now. She supposed she'd always known it.
He wished he had more time to settle this—well to settle it more to his liking—but he didn't. He had to go get Jamie. He stood up and walked out of her bedroom without a word, not fully comprehending the sense of loss that engulfed him.
All he knew was that it hurt. It hurt bad.
...
"Have a great day," Brooke said snippily as she dropped the receipt into the bag and practically threw it at the customer. She barely even waited until the woman was out the door before mumbling 'hoe' under her breath.
Millicent Huxtable stared at her boss and friend in awe. "Okay, are you going to tell me what's going on now?" she asked.
"What?" Brooke asked innocently.
"You've been snapping at customers all day."
"Have not," Brooke muttered. "Well, not all of them," she corrected when Millie threw her a look. Just the married ones buying lingerie. Because yes, stuck in her head were the words Peyton and Nathan had said during the flight to Tree Hill.
"You're all anti-me and Nathan for being adulterers when meanwhile, no offense, but your entire lingerie line is probably funded by adulterers alone. They're more than likely your biggest customers."
Nathan snickered on her other side. "That's probably true," he said in amusement.
She could have smacked them both at the time—well, she still could now—but a big part of her realized that they may be right. And she hated it. "I don't support adultery," she said to Millie.
"Okay," Millie replied, perplexed. "Neither do I, but what does that have to do with...?"
"But I am supporting it," Brooke cut her off to rant. "By the very presence of a lingerie line, the fact that I'm selling it, I'm enabling these people."
"How so?"
"Come on, Millie," Brooke returned sharply. "You don't think most of our lingerie clientele are here buying sexy outfits to impress someone other than their husbands?"
"Umm," Millie responded, not having thought of that before. "Possibly," she said. "But I think those women would be cheating on their husbands with or without the lingerie. Brooke, what's this about?"
Brooke shook her head and sighed. "I just recently found out something about a couple friends of mine that's made me question if I ever really knew them. Something bad."
Millie nodded her head, her curious side wanting to ask who Brooke referred to—because face it, everyone loves gossip and clearly it involved cheating—but instead, she just said, "I'm sorry. People can disappoint us sometimes."
"Yeah," Brooke agreed, having learned that a long time ago.
"But that doesn't mean every married woman who buys lingerie is a cheater," Millie had to point out. "A lot of them are newlyweds too. Even old couples trying to keep the spark in their relationship. And then you have your singles who..."
"Ok, Millie", Brooke cut her off with a chuckle. "I get it. Thank you."
Millie nodded. "Listen, take the rest of the day off. I can handle the store."
Brooke lifted a perfectly arched brow. "You realize I'm your boss, right?" she asked lightly.
"Yes, but you're also my friend and if you keep biting everyone's heads off, pretty soon you won't have any customers left and then what? Your business goes under, and I'm out of a job, along with..."
"Ok," Brooke cut her off again. "I'm going," she said, snatching her purse from under the counter. "Didn't know you were such a drama queen," she added in amusement on her way to the exit.
Millie shrugged and smiled in return. "I learned from the best."
...
"Uncle Lucas is here!" Jamie exclaimed when Nathan pulled into the driveway beside Luke's car.
"I see that," Nathan replied with much less enthusiasm. Not that he didn't love his brother or want to see him, but facing him for the past three months had been getting progressively harder to do. Facing him today, he knew, would be worse.
Because today he'd be facing an angry and heartbroken Lucas, and even though the older brother wasn't aware of all the facts, the younger brother certainly was. Whatever condition Lucas was in, he'd put him in it. He was the cause even if Luke didn't know that.
They went inside, and Jamie instantly ran to his uncle who was sitting across Haley at the tale, and gave him a hug. The eight year old didn't notice the red-rimmed eyes on the blond man. But Nathan did.
Shit. Seeing it was worse than thinking about seeing it.
Haley took in her empty-handed husband and let out a small laugh. "You didn't bring the groceries in?" she asked him.
Double shit. He'd forgotten to get them at all. "Uh, yeah, there were no parking spots so I didn't stop. I'll take a ride back after dinner."
Haley nodded agreeably but her brows knit with confusion. No parking spots? In Tree Hill? Odd.
But before she could comment on it, Lucas turned his head toward Nathan to pose the question he just now thought to wonder about. "Did you know?" he asked him suspiciously.
And Nathan froze. Fuck.