A/N: Hiya guys. Here is the next chapter and, as always, I hope you like it. It's quite a bit longer than the others for this story have been so hopefully you enjoy the longer chapters sometimes. I was going to break it up into two, but there was nowhere good to leave it off so there you go.

Thank you again to all of you who are reading this and reviewers, you know you rock.

...

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Nathan took a deep, unsteady breath, searching his mind for possible answers to give his brother. Though he'd become quite adept at the lying game as of late, right now he drew a blank.

Did he know? Why had he not foreseen and prepared for this question? What was he supposed to say to that? Okay, yeah, the truth would be best, but that wasn't an option. He cleared his throat and looked straight at his brother. "Know what?" he asked, ascertaining that it was the only possible reply he could give that wouldn't give him away.

Lucas stood to his feet now, facing the younger Scott. "About my wife and her new lover," he said coldly. "Did you cover for her all this time?" he asked. "Is that what all the press about you two has been about? Your way of protecting her?"

Not exactly. Feeling much too uneasy for his liking, he answered. "Luke, I seriously don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about the new guy she's apparently 'fallen in love' with," Lucas snapped, using air quotes. "Did you know about it, and, if so, who is he?"

The look of surprise that crossed Nathan's features was enough to convince the older Scott that his brother truly had no idea. He had no way of knowing that Nathan's genuine reaction stemmed from the mention of love.

And Haley had no way of knowing that Lucas regretted his accusation almost the moment it left his lips. "Luke, that's ridiculous," she said in defense of her husband. "How could you think Nathan would do something like that? Of course he didn't know about it."

Lucas closed his eyes guiltily. "I know," he acknowledged. "I'm sorry. I just thought since you were in L.A. with her that she might have talked to you about it, or you might have seen something that you maybe didn't want to tell me because you two are friends. But I guess she kept you in the dark too. Sorry about that, little brother."

"It's cool," Nathan assured him, at a loss for any other words. What else could he say to the brother he'd betrayed, especially with his mind still reeling with what he'd just heard. Peyton was in love with him? Was it true?

Bigger question—did he love her back? That would explain his inability to stay away from her and why he felt crushed when she'd officially ended their relationship—okay, fling—less than an hour ago.

But love? It wasn't something they'd talked about since, well, ever. Maybe that's why he'd never let his mind go there. That and the fact he'd never considered there would ever be room in his heart for another woman besides Haley.

He couldn't deny he had feelings for Peyton. Strong feelings even. But if she loved him and he loved her...well, fuck, that just made a messy situation a whole lot more complicated.

He was still lost in his own thoughts when Haley asked Jamie to go play in his room while she and his dad talked to Uncle Lucas for a bit.

Jamie, though reluctant to go, nevertheless did as his mother said.

Once he was gone, Haley urged her husband and her best friend to the table, where she began a long-winded explanation to Nathan about how Lucas had come by to ask for a loan and the reason for the unusual request.

Again Nathan felt his stomach tie up in knots. It was true that Lucas very seldom asked them for money. In fact, Nathan couldn't remember him ever asking them for money. And only twice had he accepted when they'd offered. Once when they'd been out of milk for Sawyer, and Luke had promptly replaced the carton of milk when he'd been paid the following day; and twice, when Sawyer had just been born and medical bills due to the complications at birth had risen higher than their medical insurance would cover. That loan had taken a bit longer to pay off, but still he had—every last cent of it—despite Nathan and Haley's insistence at the time that they should consider it a gift rather than a loan.

"I told him he could use that old MasterCard you have since we don't use it anymore, and he could just make the minimum payments until he can afford more," Haley told him, once again cutting into his thoughts.

The old MasterCard? "Uh, no, actually, he can't," Nathan said in reply.

"Why not?" Haley asked, a bit put-off.

Because I already gave it to Peyton. "Because I...got rid of that card, like, a year ago."

Haley frowned now. "Why would you do that?"

"Because we never used it," her husband returned reasonably.

Pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Haley sighed, but then waved her hand dismissively. "Well, ok," she said casually. "We'll just give him a different card." They had more than one, after all. "One of the Visas," she added, turning to Lucas. "Okay?"

Lucas shrugged agreeably. It didn't matter to him which card he used. He just wanted this conversation done and over with. He appreciated their help, he really did. He just hated asking for money. "I'll pay you guys back," he said firmly.

"We know you will," Haley said, patting his hand gently.

Nathan knew he would too and wasn't really concerned if he didn't. But, just as it didn't sit right with Luke to ask for money, the reason for it didn't sit right with Nathan. "No," he said simply but firmly.

Haley lifted a brow in half question, half reprimand. "No?" she asked in awe.

"No," he repeated even more firmly than the first time, turning his head to his brother. "I'm sorry, Luke, but the answer's no. You can't use our money to try to cut Sawyer from her mother's life. Any other reason and I'd be glad to help you out, but not for that. I'm sorry."

Lucas felt his stomach plummet to the floor, and his cheeks burned red with both embarrassment and the stirrings of anger. "Her mother," he said through gritted teeth, "had an affair."

"And that pisses you off, I get it," Nathan returned. "But that's no reason to drag your daughter into it. She needs her mother, Luke. Don't use her to punish Peyton cause that's even more wrong than an affair."

"That's not why I'm doing it," Luke said defensively.

"Sure, it's not," Nathan remarked belligerently. "Look, do it if that's what you're gonna do," he added, then turned to a stunned looking Haley to finish. "But we're not paying for it."

He stood from his chair now, walking out of the kitchen.

Haley gasped at her husband's retreating figure. First he shocks her by refusing his brother a loan, and then, not so shockingly, he walks away? "Nathan!" she called out to him. "Where are you going?"

"To get the groceries I didn't grab earlier," he threw over his shoulder.

"The groceries can wait!" she shouted. "This conversation is more important."

"This conversation is over, Haley," Nathan said with finality, disappearing out of the kitchen.

"Nathan!" she hollered after him to no avail. Open-mouthed, she stood up. "Excuse me," she said to her best friend.

"Hales..." he began, but she was already gone, retracing her husband's steps out the door.

"Nathan!" she yelled again from the driveway just as he reached his car.

He heaved a deep, frustrated sigh and turned to face her. "What?" There was that look on her face again. Disappointment.

"What?" she mocked, fuming mad. "Really?"

"Haley, I don't want to fight with you."

"Good, then we lend Lucas the money."

"No, Hales, we don't."

"Nathan," she began slowly, trying to calm herself. "That is your brother in there asking for our help..."

"I know."

"Think about how difficult it must have been for him to come to us with this. Only to have you flat out turn him down? He doesn't ask us for much, and you know that. The least we can do is give it to him when he does."

"Oh, even when his reasons suck?"

"You're assuming he's trying to punish Peyton, but you don't actually know that because you didn't bother to find out."

"Whatever his reasons, Haley, Peyton doesn't deserve to have her daughter taken away from her. How would you feel if I tried to take Jamie from you?"

"I didn't put my family in jeopardy by sleeping with someone else."

He shook his head and sneered at the comment. He hated when she got judgmental. "Just because she doesn't want Lucas anymore doesn't mean she doesn't love her daughter."

"And just because she loves her daughter," Haley returned snidely, "doesn't make her a good mother. She's barely even seen her in the past three months. I could never leave Jamie for that long."

Whether she knew it or not, her comment was a jab at him too since he was away half the year and came home even less than Peyton did. "We can't all be as perfect as you, Haley," he snapped.

"We're giving him the money," she said, ignoring his snide comment. "I already told him we would."

"Well you shouldn't have because no, we're not, and that's final."

Before she could utter another word in protest, he got in the car and drove off.

She pressed her lips together furiously, but was left little choice but to return to the house where Lucas waited.

He was no longer sitting at the table where she'd left him, but was, rather, standing up, peering out the window, looking more upset than he had when he'd first come over.

"I'm guessing you heard everything?" Haley asked him.

"Not everything, but I got the gist of it."

"God, I'm sorry Luke," she said earnestly. "I don't know what got into him. And of course I don't, because instead of talking it out, he takes off," she added, subconsciously pacing the floor as she ranted. "Because, you know, it's much better to leave the conversation up in the air than to come up with some sort of solution we're both happy with. I mean, why would we actually discuss it like two adults and weigh the merits of each point? It's final, he said. And I'm supposed to just agree to that. Nevermind that I don't think it's final, that I still have a ton left to say, and I already told you you could borrow the money. Apparently none of that matters..."

"Hales," Luke finally cut her off.

Her shoulders slumped and she took a deep breath. "Sorry," she said, realizing she'd gone off, and on the wrong person at that. "I'll save the rant for Nathan since he's the one I'm pissed at. He's just so damn infuriating sometimes. The way he..." She halted mid-sentence and closed her eyes as she felt another tirade coming on. "Sorry, again."

"It's ok, Hales."

"No. You know what? It's not," she disagreed. "I said we'd help you out and I'm not going to take that back. Nathan will just have to get over it."

"No," Luke said with a shake of his head. "I don't want to be the cause of problems between you two."

"Luke..."

"Haley, it's ok. Thank you for the thought, but if it's gonna create tension for you and Nathan, then I'd rather just ask my mom and Andy."

"Are you sure?" she asked, a part of her glad for it. As much as she didn't want to go back on her word to Lucas, she didn't feel right doing something Nathan completely disapproved of either.

He nodded. He'd rather not do that, but it was better than putting his best friend in the position of going against her husband's wishes.

"Ok," Haley conceded. "Thanks," she added, giving him a warm hug. "But if they say no, come talk to me, and I'll convince Nathan somehow."

Lucas smiled at her. "I appreciate that. But even if you did manage to convince him, I'd still know he didn't really want to," he said. "And besides, they're not going to say no." At least he hoped not. One refusal was bad enough for one day.

And he really couldn't handle another rejection on the whole, let alone from someone he thought he could count on.

...

He drove right past the grocery store, going instead in the direction of the Sawyer household for the second time that day. All the way, he kept telling himself to go back, turn around and go back toward the supermarket. This was a bad idea.

But he didn't listen to his own warnings, feeling an invisible pull to go see her, even though she'd been clear earlier that they were over.

He had to see her. He had to know if what Lucas said was true.

He lingered in the driveway a long time, debating whether or not this was a smart move on his part. He should be staying away from her. But he needed to know because now that he let his mind go there, he had a few truths to tell her too.

He let himself in, not at all surprised by the blaring music that invaded his eardrums, getting louder with each step he took toward her room. God-awful, depressing music. No shock there either.

She was probably sketching too, he figured, but when he entered, he found her surfing the internet instead, searching through a list of family law lawyers in Tree Hill.

She neither saw nor heard him come in so when he turned off her stereo, she bolted up in her chair. "God, Nathan, you scared me!" she gasped.

"Sorry," was all he said to that.

"What are you doing here, again?" she asked. It had only been a little over an hour since she'd officially ended them and he'd left.

"You love me?" he dove right in with another question, rather than answering hers.

She closed her eyes and muttered a silent oath. He was never supposed to know that unless he felt the same. But of course he found out. "Let me guess," she deadpanned. "Brooke?"

"Lucas."

Her head snapped up at that. "He...?"

"No," he replied before she could ask. "He doesn't know it's me. He was actually asking if I knew who the guy is. He thought maybe I've been covering for you."

"That must have been an awkward conversation," Peyton concluded.

"You could say that," Nathan replied. "So, is it true? Do you love me?"

She threw her hands up. "Does it matter?" she asked, her back already up.

"Yes."

"Why? Would it stop you from running back to your precious Haley the second you leave here?"

"Peyton..."

She put a hand up to stop whatever comment he was about to make. "No, it wouldn't. Because what I feel for you is not the issue, Nathan. You're the one who can't or won't leave your wife."

"I just want to know if it's true," he said so softly she barely heard him.

"Fine!" she said with an impatient growl. "Yes! It's true, ok? You happy now? Does it make one bit of difference now that you know that little tidbit? Does...?"

She closed her mouth abruptly when he came to stand right in front of her, staring at her so intently, it made her knees buckle. She shook her head, cursing the jelly her stomach had suddenly turned into. "Nathan..." she whispered hollowly, wishing he wouldn't stand so close, yet at the same time yearning to close the small gap between them.

"It makes all the difference," he said, lifting her chin with his index finger to make her look at him. But, as he did so, as he stared into those beautiful green orbs of hers, he found himself at a loss for words. There was no explaining the emotions that swirled within him—at least not that he could come up with.

So instead, he bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, unable to help himself. When she didn't stop him, he kissed her harder.

He knew right then that he wouldn't be able to let this woman go. Yes, they were lust—he was already getting hard—but they were so much more too. And through the years, he'd grown accustomed to fighting for everything he wanted, fighting to hold on to what he already had. He wasn't one to easily let go. It simply wasn't in his nature.

She knew she should stop him, stop what this would surely lead to. He wasn't hers. He was staying with Haley. Hadn't they just established that? There was no place for her in his life anymore, and there shouldn't be a place for him in hers.

Logically, she knew all of this. Emotionally was a different story. She didn't want to stop him. Her life was a mess—because of him, yes, but still—and she wanted him, this man that she'd known for so long and who had made his way to center stage in her heart.

And as usual, her heart won out over her head. She let his lips trail down her neck and his hands slide under her shirt, a soft moan escaping her own lips.

"I love you too," she heard him whisper in her ear, and she swore the butterflies in her stomach did back flips.

Even so, she didn't believe it. "No, you don't," she whispered back.

"Yeah, I think I might," he returned huskily.

Why those tentative words were enough for her, she'd later question, but at the moment, they were music to her ears.

It wasn't until after he'd already bent her over the desk and taken her from behind that a small sliver of good sense came back to her. In the moment it was happening all she could focus on was how good it felt to have him inside her, but now that it was over, she cursed herself for her weakness to him.

She turned around and fixed her dishevelled clothing—yeah, they hadn't even bothered to fully undress—to find him doing the same. He pulled off the condom he wore, tossing it in the trash can beside her desk, and did up the button and zipper of his well-fitted jeans—yes, she'd noticed.

He had a look on his face she hadn't seen before, and as he ran his hands through his dark hair, she realized it was guilt.

"Ahh, fuck Peyton," he cursed. "I'm sorry. I didn't come here for this, I swear."

"Right," she muttered with disbelief.

"I didn't."

"No, you just come here with your false proclamations of love, sorry, not even that, your false proclamations of possible love, but you didn't do it to get laid."

"I didn't," he insisted. "I do love you, Peyton."

"No, you think you might," she corrected. "But you don't. Because if you did, you'd be sure."

"Oh, like you're sure?" he questioned, feeling the sting of her words.

"Yes."

"Like you were sure you loved Lucas and Jake and Julian?" he asked harshly.

"I did love them."

He sneered at her reply. "Well, I guess if I fell in and out of love as easy as you do, then I'd be sure too," he snarled.

"That's not fair."

"Fair?" he scoffed. "What's not fair is I've loved the same girl since junior year of high school, and there's never been room in my heart for any other woman. But now she, the one who's loved me true for almost ten years, is being pushed aside for a woman that takes love so lightly that she falls in and out of love every year or two. You think I like this? You think I want to have these feelings for you? I don't. And you want to think I'm lying and am doing this for a piece of ass. I fucking wish I was, Peyton. It would be a hell of lot easier than thinking about you all the damn time and always wanting to be with you."

He shut his eyes tightly, his emotions running wild.

She didn't say a word throughout his angry spiel, but rather stood there, taking it all in. It was the first time since their affair had begun that he'd expressed any kind of emotion for her. Some of his comments were infuriating—like she took love lightly—but mostly it was enlightening, and for the first time, she began to consider, really consider, his side of things, his struggle through all of this.

Like he'd said, Haley had always been in his heart, and he hadn't expected that another woman could find her way in. But she had, and that scared the hell out of him. And not only of that. He was terrified to even think about leaving a woman he was sure of for a woman he wasn't so sure of. It was all coming clear to her now. "Nate..." she began softly, but he cut her off.

He shook his head and apologized for his outburst. He hadn't meant for all of that to come out—at least not the way it had.

"It's ok," Peyton told him. "Don't apologize for how you feel. Even if it's messy."

He chuckled shakily at the understatement of the word. Messy? More like disastrous. He didn't know what the hell to do with all this emotional turmoil and uncertainty.

So he left. Without another word, he left, leaving Peyton alone with all her anger, confusion, and sadly, a little happiness for all he'd unintentionally confessed.

...

He didn't expect to find Brooke holding his daughter when he walked in the Cafe, and he chuckled at the sight of it. "My mom and Andy pawned her off on you, I see," he said, kissing Sawyer on the cheek and then taking her when she held her arms out to him.

"I offered, actually," Brooke stated, handing over the little girl. "There was a rush and it was either take over the counter or take her, and since I left my store early today to get away from frustrating customers, I figured watching my favorite niece was the better option."

He laughed, his mood lightened a bit since leaving Nathan and Haley's house. "You have a bad day at the store?"

She shrugged. "You could say that."

He was still smiling at her. "Must have been rough if the cheeriest girl I know needed escape," he said. "What happened?"

Your cheating wife and scumbag brother had me thinking every married customer buying lingerie was committing adultery. "Oh, you know, just complaint after complaint after complaint. Just one of those days. But then I saw this little cutie," she said, shaking Sawyer's dangling leg playfully, "and suddenly everything was better."

"She does have that effect," he agreed.

I was referring to her daddy, actually. "Yes, she does."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Cheery, cause I'm about to ask you a favor."

"Lay it on me, Broody."

"I need to talk to my mom and Andy, and I'm not sure how long it'll take since it'll have to be between customers, and since you're here..."

"You want to know if I'll take Sawyer home," she guessed.

"Only if it's not too much trouble."

"Of course not. I'd be happy to," she said, extending her arms to Sawyer again, who was all too happy to return. "Come on, little one. You're coming with me."

"Go shopping?" Sawyer exclaimed.

Brooke and Lucas chuckled. Clearly shopping is something she did often with her Aunt Brooke.

"Not this time, sweetheart," Brooke replied as Lucas handed her his house key and thanked her.

"Don't mention it," Brooke replied in her naturally raspy tone. "This is my favorite little girl in the whole wide world. You're getting quite heavy though," she jested in complaint. "What's Daddy been feeding you?"

"She can walk, you know," Luke told her in amusement.

"I know," Brooke acknowledged. "But I like holding her."

She turned to leave when Luke stopped her.

"You need her car seat," he said. "I'll grab it for you," he added, intending to follow her out.

"Or we could just swap cars this once," she suggested.

"You trust me driving your car?" he asked in jest.

"You trust me watching your daughter?" she joked back.

"Of course I do." He wouldn't ask her to do it if he didn't.

"Then yes, I trust you driving my car."

They exchanged both smiles and keys before Brooke went out the door with Sawyer, leaving Lucas alone to dread asking for money for the second time that day. Hopefully this time had a better outcome.

...

Haley was just hanging up the phone when Nathan finally returned home. "There you are," she said, clearly irritated. "That was Clay. Call him back. He's looking for you."

Nathan frowned. Clay wasn't looking for him. If he were, he'd have called his cell like he always did. Clay didn't even know he was in Tree Hill. No, it wasn't him he was looking to talk to. It was Haley.

Question was why?

He'd think maybe it was to tell her about him and Peyton—he had said he wouldn't cover for him this time—but Nathan didn't think that was it. If so, Haley would already be interrogating him. Besides that, he didn't figure Clay would go out of his way to rat him out. There was a big difference between that and simply not lying if Haley asked questions. Clay wouldn't go so far as calling her to tell her.

So then, he thought again, why the hell was he calling her? He didn't have much time to think about it.

"Where have you been?" Haley asked, cutting through his thoughts.

His brows lifted and he indicated the grocery bags he hadn't yet put down.

She rolled her eyes at her husband. "I mean where else?" she pressed. It didn't take two hours to pick up those few items of food, especially the way Nathan shopped, just throwing stuff in the cart without even looking at prices or expiry dates so he could be done sooner.

"Just for a drive," he answered with a shrug as he set the bags on the counter top.

"A drive," she mimicked. "Nathan, this is your last night here for the next six weeks. I would think you'd want to spend it with your family."

"I'm here, aren't I?" he pointed out. When she didn't respond, he sighed. "Look, Hales, I just didn't want to fight with you."

"Well, neither do I, Nathan, but that's what happens when you treat me like 'the little woman' who can't make financial decisions."

"I don't treat you like that," he argued. "Haley, you're the one who takes care of all our finances."

"Except, apparently, when it comes to loaning money, in which case you have final say."

"I never said that."

She threw him a haughty look, reminding him of the words exchanged in the driveway.

"Ok, I kinda did," he admitted. "But I didn't mean it like that. And what about you, huh? You told Luke he could borrow the money without even talking to me first."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed you'd be ok with helping your brother out."

He shook his head, exasperated. "See, this is why I delayed coming home. Because you take the fact that I don't agree with you as a personal insult. Luke just wants to get back at Peyton. Can't you see that?"

"First of all, I do not, and second, what I see is where your loyalty is," Haley snapped. "Where it should be with your brother, it's with his cheating wife," she added, starting to put the groceries away.

"It's with Sawyer," actually," he shot back. "You know, the innocent two year old this will affect. She needs both her parents, Haley."

When Haley gave him the cold shoulder and continued with the groceries without a word, he let out a frustrated growl and turned out of the kitchen.

"Where you going now?" she asked. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Upstairs," he threw over his shoulder. "Just yell when it's done."

He missed the quick sprint of the eight year old who'd been sitting in the stairs listening to his parents argue. Now he sat on his bed, trying to catch his breath and holding back tears. He hated when they fought. He was always scared they would get divorced like some of his friends' parents.

He looked up sharply when a knock at his bedroom door came and his dad poked his head in, asking if he wanted to play a video game before dinner. After dinner they'd go to the River court to shoot some baskets.

The boy accepted easily enough, but Nathan noticed he wasn't overly enthusiastic and actually seemed a bit down. "Everything all right?" he asked him.

"Not really," Jamie admitted.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

"Why were you and Mom fighting?"

"You heard, huh?" Nathan said, wanting to kick himself. "Listen, I'm sorry you heard that, but it was nothing for you to worry about, ok? Just grown-up stuff."

"I don't like it when you fight."

"You know what? Neither do I. But that happens sometimes with married people. Or anyone. People don't always agree on everything. But, like I said, it's nothing for you to worry about."

"So, you're not going to get a divorce?"

"No. Of course not."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now let's play before we run out of time."

"Ok," Jamie agreed, feeling a lot better now.

...

Brooke was towel-drying the dripping two year old when Lucas made it back home.

"Brooke, you didn't have to bathe her," he said. "I could have done that."

Brooke lifted a shoulder and chuckled. "Well, I gave her the leftover spaghetti you had in the fridge, and I'm afraid it didn't bode well for her face...or her clothes...or her hands...her hair."

Lucas threw his head back and laughed heartily. "Yeah, I usually just feed it to her myself to avoid that mess."

"Now you tell me," she mumbled.

"Don't tell my mom I said that though," he quipped. "She says if Sawyer wants to try it herself, I shouldn't hold her back," he said, doing a pretty good imitation of Karen.

"Huh, your mom's a smart lady," Brooke told him. "Maybe you should listen it to her."

"I do for the most part," he replied. "It's just the messy stuff that I ..."

"Right here is living proof that even the messy stuff washes off," Brooke stated, indicating his clean from head to toe daughter.

"Yeah, I know," he admitted, hanging his head. It wasn't like he was just being lazy. Truthfully it wasn't even the mess that bothered him. It was the time it took to deal with the mess. As practically a single father lately, he didn't always have that time.

Brooke wrapped the tiny girl in the towel and sent her off to Lucas to get Pj's, dropping the previous topic. She was here to help him, not judge his parenting skills. Besides, he was doing great because he was doing the best he could.

Lucas scooped his daughter up, but before heading off to her room, turned back to Brooke. "So, you gave Sawyer her dinner, but did you eat?" He knew there was only a small serving of spaghetti left—only enough for Sawyer.

Brooke shook her head. "I'll grab something on my way home."

"Or you could stay here and we could order in," he said.

She gazed at him, taking in his hopeful expression. The poor guy was not only heartbroken from his recent discovery, but was probably also starved for adult conversation. "Or I could do that," she agreed. Really, what else could she say? "As long as you're buying."

He nodded agreeably. Surely Andy wouldn't mind if he used a little extra from the credit card he'd given him for a little nourishment.

...

"I don't know, I guess I shouldn't have assumed Nathan would go for it," Luke told Brooke about an hour later as he reached for another slice of pizza.

He'd put Sawyer to bed a half hour ago so it was just him and Brooke now, and he'd told her about going to Nathan and Haley for a loan, both of their responses to it, and his subsequent request to his mom and Andy—hence the reason he'd asked her to watch Sawyer.

"I just never thought he'd say no," he continued sullenly, clearly upset over the fact his brother had refused. "I mean, I know he's friends with Peyton and all, but I thought, wrongly obviously, that his loyalty would be with me, his brother," he said, of the same mind frame as Haley. "Haley was pretty pissed too," he told Brooke.

Brooke sat and listened with growing vexation as Lucas told his story. And the guilt, oh the guilt. It nearly swallowed her whole. The blond Scott never would have gone to his brother if he knew the whole truth—that Nathan's loyalty to Peyton wasn't just as a friend.

"But then I think, that's not really fair," Lucas went on. "If the situation were reversed, I'd never be able to go against Haley."

She didn't know how to respond. The situation would never be reversed, not completely anyway, because Luke would never sleep with Haley, and not only because of the brotherly/sisterly relationship the two shared, but also because, unlike Nathan, Lucas would never betray his brother like that. Of course, up until a few days ago, she wouldn't have thought Nathan capable of it either.

But Lucas knew none of that, which is why she was lost for words. A huge part of her wanted to scream the truth out just so he'd stop looking for reasons to defend the guy he called brother. But she couldn't do that—she'd just told Nathan this morning she wouldn't. More than that though, she didn't want Luke to hurt even more than he already was. He seemed saddened enough that Nathan wouldn't lend him money. What would it do to him to learn the betrayal went far beyond that?

"You know," she finally began to speak. "You could have come to me for money. I believe I told you that the other day."

"I know," he acknowledged. "But with Peyton being your best friend, I didn't think it would be fair to put you in the middle of our feud. And I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me fighting for sole custody of Sawyer."

She nodded in understanding. "She may be my best friend," she began, "but she made her bed. Now she has to lie in it."

He gave her a small, appreciative smile before his expression clouded over with shame. "Listen, Brooke, I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am for what we did to you in high school. I never really considered how badly we hurt you, and I want you to know that I'm truly sorry."

She returned his sad smile. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "That means a lot." It meant so much more than words could say—a true, honest to God apology. "And I accept your apology." Not that she hadn't already forgiven him.

"That means a lot too," he replied.

"So, speaking of Peyton, how are you doing with the whole breakup thing? You seem to be holding up ok."

He lifted his shoulders uncertainly. "Yeah, well, let's just say it's a good thing I've got my anger to hold onto."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Peyton thinks that's why I'm fighting for sole custody," Lucas told her next. "She thinks I'm trying to punish her. So does Nathan."

"Are you?" Brooke asked in a genuine 'wanting to know' way—not accusing as Peyton and Nathan had both been.

"No," he denied. "I just want to do what's best for Sawyer, and going back and forth from one home to the other can't be good for her. She needs stability, not chaos."

Brooke threw him a taunting, dimpled grin. "Ok, so it's not even a little bit about revenge?"

"No."

"Not even the no-access part?" she pressed. "I mean, it's not like Peyton's dangerous."

"No, but her new boyfriend might be."

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious. We already know the guy's an ass. What else is he going to expose my daughter to?"

Brooke just stared at him in humor.

"All right, fine," he relented. "Maybe that parts a little about revenge."

"I figured."

"But only a little," he repeated. "I suppose you're going to tell me how wrong that is. How Peyton's a great mom and wouldn't let anyone mistreat Sawyer."

"Sounds like you don't really need me to tell you that," Brooke replied. "But no, actually, I was going to tell you how delicious this pizza is. I'm so glad you invited me to stay."

...

It was about 8:30 when they returned from the River court, 9:30 by the time Jamie was showered and in bed, and 10:00 when Nathan got in the shower himself—his second of the day.

Haley, he'd quickly noted, was still angry at him.

Or so he thought.

He was just rinsing the shampoo from his hair when he felt her small arms wrap around his bare torso. He smiled and turned to face her.

"I don't want to fight either," she said softly.

She didn't apologize—she still felt she was right—but she let it go because it wasn't worth fighting over. Not when she only had him for a limited time. Tomorrow he would go back to L.A., and she didn't want to spend tonight arguing or not speaking.

He didn't apologize either. Instead he bent his head to kiss her, things escalating from there until his fingers dug into her thighs, her nails pierced his skin, and they both cried out in ecstasy.

Later, as they lay in bed, Haley fast asleep in the crook of his arm, he stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts running rampant as he silently recounted his entire day.

Morning: Deal with Brooke to stop seeing Peyton. Jamie to school. Back home. Sex with Haley.

Afternoon: Sex with Haley again. And again. Shower with Haley. To Peyton's house. Comfort crying Peyton. Fight with angry Peyton. To Jamie's school. Back home. Disappoint brother. Fight with angry Haley. To Peyton's again. Profess love. Fight with Peyton. Sex with Peyton. Fight with Peyton. To grocery store. Back home. Fight with Haley. Video game with Jamie.

Evening: Silent dinner. River court with Jamie. Second shower with Haley. Sex with Haley. To bed.

Now: Lying awake thinking of it all.

It was becoming crystal clear that he didn't know what he was doing anymore. This was, by far, the worst version of himself, ever, including back in high school when he'd been a complete jackass.

It was all becoming too much, and it was only getting worse. His vow to stay away from Peyton had lasted less than twelve hours. He couldn't go on doing what he was doing.

Two women, neither of which he wanted to let go. He loved them both, he realized. He was sure of it.

But what to do about it? That he wasn't sure of.

By the time he got on the plane the next day, he was almost glad neither woman was joining him. He had some serious soul-searching to do, and for that he needed to be by himself.

The next five and a half weeks solo, despite the loneliness that would cause him, may be just what he needed to get his head on straight.