CHAPTER 54-The Day I Died

Shadefrost's POV

My lungs were scorching and my paws thudded heavily on the ground, gradually slowly down until I was jogging at a swift pace. I stumbled on a tree root and fell, but forced myself to regain my footing. I could hear the distant call of the foxes far away beyond the trees, and it sent a final rush of adrenaline racing through my veins. With a new burst of speed, I rushed past the cliffs, bounding over gaps in the stone. The cold wind whipped my face and brushed past my whiskers, lifting me up so it felt that I was flying.

All too soon, the surge of energy deserted me and I fell back against the ground, my sides heaving. I gulped in air, wanting to fill my lungs with the sweet, pure atmosphere, and never getting enough. The barking grew louder and I spied flashes of ginger winding through the twisted trees.

I panicked and tried to move faster, but my limbs were exhausted from running for so long. In the end, I whirled around and hissed, standing my ground.

I was immediately surrounded by a sea of hostile glares and bared fangs, and they surged forward toward me. I tried to dodge and weave through them, but nonetheless, I was being battered and bruised all over again.

I aimed a few blows myself, but my tired claws only slid harmlessly through their fur. I staggered, my vision weakening.

"Shadefrost!"

Snapping my head up at the sound of my name, I perked up when I saw Ember and Dewstep racing toward me. They leaped into the action, and together, we fought side-by-side and drove the foxes off further with every step. We matched our claws blow for blow, moving in perfectly synchronized motions, as if we had rehearsed this countless times. I fell naturally into rhythm, relieved to see them again.

Panting breathlessly, I asked, "Where's Snowstorm?" There was a hint of worry in my voice.

Dewstep's breath hitched, but he avoided my gaze. He swatted a vixen away with his paws, spattering blood everywhere like sprays of blossoms.

"He stayed behind," he grunted. "In case any more foxes showed up."

I hardly believed what I was hearing. "So you just left him there to fight by himself?!"

I pushed my way through the crowd, ignoring the stings and scratches, trying desperately to get back to Snowstorm.

Dewstep caught my arm. I reeled around to face him with a snapping of teeth, but the look in his eyes forced me to pause sharply.

"I'm sorry." His voice shook. His eyes had a mixture of sorrow and fear in them, a wad of rolled up emotions threatening to pour out.

He backed away. "It was too late to save him."

"No." The only thing I could focus on was Snowstorm. Everything else seemed only distant, like a dream. I staggered, light-headed, and ignored everything happening around me. Snowstorm was...gone?

I blinked, once, twice. It couldn't be. What about our future? Was it over now? It only took a single swipe of claws, the glint of fangs, and I could imagine him bleeding out his life on the shore.

"You're lying!" I said, my ears flattened against my head. My vision was quaking. "Tell me you're lying!" Dewstep took a step forward and pulled me close. I could feel his shoulders trembling. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed.

I could hardly hear him. I could hardly react to anything happening around me. The only thing my senses could reach out to was the feel of Snowstorm's silky, white fur, his joyful laugh, the glint of his eyes when they rested on me. All of it was gone now.

I snapped to my senses when someone dealt me a blow to the side of my face, sending me careening to the side. I almost lost my balance on the slippery mud. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth as my eyes settled on Fang.

He stretched his limbs and grinned, as if this was all just a game to him. My vision narrowed until the only thing I saw was him. His flea-infested pelt and that rat heart of his, that wicked smile that promised nothing but pain and death.

I rounded on him, claws unsheathed and ready to tear into flesh. "This is your fault!" I yowled.

I pounced and latched myself onto his back, trying to flip him over. He steadied himself and rolled over onto his back, crushing me. Luckily, the mud was slick enough so I could wiggle out from underneath him, and landed crushing blows to his unguarded stomach. He snapped his teeth at me and leaped to his feet, cursing.

I concentrated all of my rage, all of my anger and sorrow, all of my emotions and focused them on him.

Distantly, I could hear Dewstep and Ember desperately calling me, but I shut them out.

For a moment, it was only Fang and me, squaring off with murder etched on our faces.

I'd like to wipe that grin off of his face and make him pay for all of those cats that he had slaughtered.

"Murderer!" I yowled, and took off toward him with one, flying leap. Or, at least I tried to. With a small yelp, the ground went flying out from underneath me as I slipped on the mud. I rolled down the slope, trying to regain my balance but only managing to fill my mouth with dirt instead.

The world stopped spinning when I felt a strong paw slam into my throat, pinning me down. He smirked and raised his claw for the final blow, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

And then Ember was at my rescue. With a furious howl, she flung herself at Fang and caused him to tumble a little to the side. I jumped to my paws and attacked.

Fang swatted Ember away as easily as if she were a fly, but he also had to deal with me. Snarling, I aimed for his throat, managing to graze it lightly before he avoided it.

Without warning, he planted both paws on my chest and pushed me, sending me skimming a few feet backward, knocking the breath out of my lungs with the force. I heard pebbles clatter and my paws scrambled on thin air.

Glancing backward, I noticed that he had led me right to the edge of a cliff. It was a dizzying drop below.

Fang opened his mouth, revealing his teeth, and lunged at me. I tried to step to the side, but more foxes blocked my way. Dewstep yowled angrily and threw himself at the leader, effectively bowling him over. For a split second, before he went down, the fox hooked his paw around my hind leg, and the next thing I knew, he had flipped me over.

Right before I went under, my limbs splayed out wildly and I latched onto the edge of the cliff. My hind legs dangled beneath me as I hung on for dear life, every beat of my heart resonating with panic. I scrabbled desperately, but each movement only weakened me until I could barely hold on. I risked a glance down, and immediately regretted it. The bottom of the cliff yawned up at me like some ferocious beast, its throat dark and deep.

The mud wasn't helping at all. Using all of the remaining strength I had left, I dug in my claws and strained my arms, trying to keep myself hanging.

Fang's minions had effectively restrained Dewstep and Ember, and they could only watch in horror as Fang hovered over me. I spat at him and bared my teeth, acting not in courage but in fear.

He glared down at me triumphantly. He knew that his victory was dangling easily before him like fresh-kill.

Raising a paw, he asked coldly, "Any last words?"

I could barely prop myself upright, let alone talk. And what was there to say?

I slid deeper and deeper below the cliff, my claws leaving deep marks in the wet soil. Half of my body was suspended below the cliff, lowering closer and closer to my doom. My hind legs swayed in nothing but cold air, and I suppressed a whimper.

Snowstorm, I pleaded in my mind. Help me.

For a second, I thought I caught a whiff of his scent, and then it was gone.

I was dimly aware of Dewstep and Ember yowling my name, of Fang's victorious howl of triumph, of the foxes chorusing in throaty barks when they realized that I was slipping lower and lower into my dreaded fate.

My muscles shrieked painfully, unwilling to hold me up any longer. Fang struck a blow to my head, affectively jerking me backward, knocking my brain back against my skull, and I felt nothing but air whoosh past my legs.

I slid off the cliff, and I fell, down and down and down, the gaping maw yawning up around me, the abyss swallowing me whole. I had my eyes clenched shut the whole time, but beneath the eyelids, I saw the bright red of the sun disappear into blackness as I continued to descend. I tried to hook my claws onto the grainy stone wall, but I was much too far away to reach. I could hear the anguished cries of my friends, but I was powerless to do anything. I felt a hollow sense of despair resting heavily in my heart. Was this finally the end?

OoOooOoooooooooooooooooOoOooOoOOOOOOOOOOoOoO

Pale, silver trees and an inky black sky surrounded me when I opened my eyes. Scrambling to my paws, I gazed around wildly in disbelief. A low mist clung to the roots.

What was I doing in StarClan?

Shadows flitted from branch to branch, their claws glinting in the shed light. Darklings. Trying not to make any noise, I slowly backed away until I was crouched behind a tree trunk. They slipped silently by, not noticing me.

I whipped my head around as Feathertail slowly slipped up to me, her dirty pelt pale with the cold mist.

"Shadefrost," she breathed. "Oh, Shadefrost."

I felt an increasing sense of despair. I whispered, "Am I...dead?"

To my relief, she shook her head. "No. You're still alive, but barely. You fell off the cliff. Your body is now only a mangled and broken mess of fur lying at the bottom, and if I send you back there right now, you'll die for sure."

I unsheathed my claws and buried them into the moss. I pleaded, "But you have to send me back! I have to fight Fang!"

The scuffling of more paws, and Yellowfang and Bluestar appeared, their eyes old and weary.

"Please," I whispered. My gaze hardened. "And even if you don't send me back, there's nowhere else for me to go."

Yellowfang looked away, but Bluestar said mournfully, "I'm sorry, Shadefrost, but your cat body is too battered and broken to support your soul. If we send you back there right now, the only thing you could do is die. The body needs time to heal."

I snapped harshly, "There's no time!" I had straightened my back until I was nearly as tall as her.

Her blue eyes flashed in frustration. "I know how you feel, but you're too weak right now. You need to rest and heal and—"

"So you're giving up on me?" I whispered. My fur bristled with fury. "If that had been Lionblaze or Crowfeather or Bramblestar who fell off the cliff, then you wouldn't have given it a second thought! You would have forced them to keep fighting! And now, you won't let me go back because you think I'm too weak."

Feathertail began, "That's not—"

Yellowfang broke her off and rounded on me, her eyes narrowed in rage. She spat, "The battle's over now, Shadefrost. Fang...Fang won. We chose the wrong cat for the prophecy. Even if you did go back, you'll only fail again and again."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I wouldn't.

Snarling, I growled, "It's over when you give up. It's true, that the stars have disappeared from the night sky, but at least some of you have managed to survive! As long as you're still standing, then Fang hasn't won! And as long as I'm still here, he definitely won't win. I won't let him."

Feathertail's eyes widened softly. "You've changed," she mewed quietly. "You've changed from the day when I first caught sight of you."

Turning to Bluestar, she pleaded, "Please, let her go back. She needs to save the Clans! I believe that she can do it!"

"Shadefrost, you will only get killed if you go back."

I snarled, "Then so be it! Snowstorm gave up his life to protect me, and I would gladly do the same to save the Clan that he loved so much."

My voice trembled at his memory.

Yellowfang's eyes narrowed coldly. "So you'll gladly throw away the life that he had tried so desperately to protect? I can't let that happen. I won't let you die. Too many cats have perished in the last few days. Way too many."

I wanted to argue back, to make her to see that the battle wasn't over yet, but a sudden bright light engulfed my vision, blinding me. I felt a fierce pain tear me apart limb from limb, as if an adder was biting me in half, filling my veins with nothing but the white agony. I wanted to scream out, to wail, but I found that I couldn't. With one last, echoing breath, I closed my eyes and then saw everything turn black.

oOoOOooOoOOooooooooooooooOOoooOoOOoooOOoOoOOo

Something was tickling my side. I groaned and weakly pried open my eyes, noticing that my face was wet with tears. My head ached like something horrible. With every breath I took, the pounding worsened.

The thing that was tickling me was only a tendril of the bush that I was curled up under. I winced and lifted up my arm to swat it away.

My eyes widened. I had hands. I held them up toward my face, taking in every horrifying detail. Palms. Fingers. Nails.

I looked at the rest of my body and almost screamed. I had legs and feet and toes that could wiggle, and long, tangled black hair that covered my scalp and neck.

I was a human again. Biting back a wail, I stood up on all fours and searched frantically, trying to see if I could spot anything familiar, anything that spoke of cats. There was nothing except the bush and the ground and the unfamiliar surroundings. I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks, letting them patter onto the dirt.

I buried my face in my hands, curling up and rocking myself back and forth. "Take me back," I whispered hopelessly. "Please take me back."