Picking up right where we left off:
He cleared his throat, "I bought it yesterday." He wondered if there was room in Robert's doghouse for himself, adding lamely he knew "I thought it would be a way to surprise you. It's why I was gone so long yesterday. I had to act quickly."
Mary was now completely of the belief all the Crawley men had gone off their collective rockers. "And I'm supposed to be grateful that you buy yourself a Christmas present and make-believe it's for me. You didn't even ask me if I wanted to live there? You can't think I'd just acquiesce because you're so rich you can buy anything you want. First my father hides secrets and now you. How can I ever trust you again?"
She shut the door to the bathroom, leaving Matthew gob smacked and alone in the bedroom. She was right. How in the hell had he ever thought that was a good idea?
XX
Mary sat on the small bench in front of the bathroom mirror. For something to do she picked up her hairbrush.
Gripped it tight as her thoughts rushed in.
Such a rash thing, accusing Matthew like that. Of course she could trust him. It was just Matthew dismissively assuming she'd follow whatever plan he had for them both. She had already done so much that was out of her comfort zone. They had just spoken about it at the Deanery hotel. He had said he understood.
And now he expected her to up stakes and move to a house he bought without even consulting her.
A house he bought in secret.
It was too much coming on top of her father's secrets. Those he kept from his family. His wife. A child born out of wedlock.
Her mind reeled. How could her father have done such things?
How could she ever trust anyone again?
Or at least any man? Did they all just think they could get whatever they wanted? Henry. With his demands. His preening. As if her leaving him was a strike against his manhood.
And now Matthew.
He put his needs above hers. He knew she wouldn't agree and he did it anyway.
She started to brush her hair with fierce strokes.
Had she made a mistake? Was he just another man wanting to get his way?
She stopped in mid stroke, pushed a few loose strands behind her ear. Looked at her reflection in the mirror.
No. Matthew wasn't like that. He was unlike almost anyone she had ever met. He had such kind eyes.
Loving eyes.
Eyes that did not lie.
When she accused him of betrayal just now, at the door. His eyes looked pained. Wounded.
She never wanted to see that again.
Mary opened the divide between them, a shaft of light from the bathroom light filling the darkened bedroom.
He sat on the bed, his eyes and face downcast. His fingers rubbing his skull.
"Matthew?"
He looked up sharply as he heard the bathroom door creak, Mary emerge. Say his name.
He stood. Started to speak his voice broken, stumbling. "I'm sorry Mary. I thought the gift box was clever. It … was instead really stupid." He put his fingers to his brow, squeezing his forehead.
She walked towards him. Suddenly just so very tired. Needing to rest.
"We'll talk about it later Matthew." She said, approaching him. "But not right now. My mind is a blur with all that has happened"
He was suddenly on alert. "How are you feeling? Do you feel faint again?"
She shook her head. "Just tired. I want to lie down." She lay down on the bed with a relieved sigh. Matthew reached down to the foot of the bed and pulled up the extra blankets to the tops of her shoulders.
Mary reached out a hand to Matthew. "Come. Come lie down with me. I want you here."
"So you've forgiven me?" He spoke in surprised awe.
"Not quite yet…" She raised her eyes to meet his. "I just need some warmth." And she lifted the blanket for him to join her. "Soon enough we'll have one of your good arguments."
"That's more like it." And with a relieved half smile, he gladly joined his wife under the covers of their shared bed.
XX
Matthew gently tucked the duvet around Mary's neck. She snuggled deeper into the covers, murmuring sweetly. He reluctantly left her warmth and eased himself off the mattress.
He could not sleep. He knew what he had done. He was restless.
How to make amends?
Matthew closed the bedroom door behind him and walked down the stairs. He really didn't know where to go in the big house. It felt very lonely this Christmas day.
His footfalls echoed down the steps.
The Christmas tree was lit. The decorations glinted in the sunlight that streamed through the long windows in the front hall. He glanced out the panes of glass. The snow was still falling. It must be several feet deep.
Smells wafted in from the kitchen. A welcoming scent among the empty, vacant space. Light chatter could also now be heard. His new brother and sisters in law were cooking the Christmas dinner.
Matthew hesitated then made his way first to the library to fetch his book. He was going to go back upstairs to read in the window seat until Mary woke. Crossed the salon and stepped into the library. Found the novel on the table near the fireplace. He picked it up and started back.
Edith walked inside at that moment. "Is Mary taking a nap?"
He swiveled on his heels towards her.
"Yes." But his face must have fallen in that Edith asked quickly, "What's the matter?" She started towards him.
He held out a staying hand. "She's fine. I didn't mean to alarm." He furrowed his brow though. "It's just…."
Edith encouraged Matthew to continue. "Just?" She sat down on the divan. "I don't think this family needs any more secrets right now. Is there any way I can help with yours?"
Matthew moved towards her and sat down on the adjacent seat. "I can't say exactly. It's rather private at the moment. But I've think I've made rather a bad muck of things." He scratched his head. "I made a decision without informing Mary first…"
Edith snorted and then quickly put a hand to her mouth. "Sorry." But behind her fingers Matthew could see her suppressing another chortle.
Matthew looked up from under an eyebrow, a knowing smile formed on his lips. "Yes. I'm gathering Mary doesn't take well to that. And then I compounded it by having a rather stupid idea that springing it on her as a surprise would make it easier to digest."
"She took it the wrong way round?" Edith surmised. "She goes into a kind of defensive attack mode. I've been on the receiving end of her caustic tongue more than once. Most times, though, her bark is worse than her bite."
"Hmmm...yes." Matthew said. "I can understand the feeling she was blindsided. It was not my intent to step on her toes." He sighed and got up. "Well… I've done it. And I'm not going to un do it." His voice ticked up at those last words and he continued in a more resolute tone. "I think it's in our best interests in the long run. She'll just have to come around."
"Not with that attitude." Edith couldn't help but point out. "She's very used to getting her way."
His jaw stiffened. "So am I."
She'll think you're bullying her. That makes her all the more contrary. Even if she does agree with you, she won't show it."
His eyes narrowed in thought. "Thank you. I'll take it under advisement."
Edith stood up to return to the kitchen. "You've already changed Mary you know?"
He cocked a dubious eyebrow. "For the better? Or worse?"
"Oh much better…" Edith dryly reassured her new brother in law. "If it had been anyone else just the thought of betrayal, she'd have cut off your balls and thrown you to the wolves."
"That's very reassuring." Matthew rejoined. "But is there anything in between that and abject surrender?"
"One can try. But there be dragons in that unknown country." Edith quipped. "No one has ever tried and survived to tell the tale."
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained eh?" Matthew warmed to the idea. "Just the kind of challenge I like." He clapped his hands in readiness to return upstairs.
"Good luck." Edith walked out with him and turned towards the kitchen stairwell. "I have a feeling you'll need it."
Matthew grimaced and, with only a slight nervous hitch in his step, ascended the steps to the second-floor landing.
He softly opened the door and peeked inside their bedroom. Mary was still asleep. She murmured something he couldn't catch but snuggled deeper under the duvet and fell quiet.
Matthew sat in the window seat and watched her. Despite all that has happened, all the warnings, all the tension to come, Matthew felt a calm descend. This was where he wanted to be.
With her.
Figuring out their life together.
Arguing.
Making love.
Planning for the future.
A future of their own making.
And that was where he made his betrayal of trust. He had left her out of the loop by deciding to purchase Crawley House without getting her consent first. Of course she'd see the sense of it, he had thought. There was no alternative.
How could they possibly make a life for themselves and their children while living under the roof of her parents? It was simply out of the realm of possibility for Matthew. He was glad the two men had come to something of an accord, but that did not mean he'd want to live around the hall corner from him.
He got restless. Wanting to get this argument out of the way so they could move on to working out the details of the move. Matthew opened the book he brought up and tried to concentrate on the mystery's plot but his eyes kept straying to watching Mary.
She was just so very beautiful. A loose strand of hair clinging to her cheek. He moved towards the bed, his finger delicately brushing her skin and curving the filament around her ear. Mary's arm had fallen against her stomach, her hand curled around the form of the babies inside. Protective.
Matthew's breath caught in his throat as he beheld that vision. His mouth trembled as he bit back tears. He knelt down giving her cheek a kiss.
Feeling her warm skin give to his touch.
She stirred. Languorously opened one eye to see her husband smiling down at her, his blue eyes half filled with tears.
"Hello." He said, in that dark, intimate tone meant only for her. "I didn't mean to wake you." But he nestled down beside his wife, curling his body into hers.
She sighed in contentment, but wouldn't be put off the task at hand. "Matthew I'm trying to believe you had the best of intentions but it's really not how I want to start our marriage. With secrets. With you going off on your own to do whatever you like. That's not what I want our relationship to be."
"It's not…" His voice cracking. Fumbling to explain. "I had to act quickly. In order for the Foxes to get the place they wanted, I had to sign the purchase papers on Crawley House yesterday. I got our staff legal team on it and it expedited everything. I made a rather generous offer, considering Crawley House has a considerable number of issues. The owners couldn't afford to upgrade the electrics or change out old appliances but with the purchase money they could buy a new house already refurbished to their needs. It seemed to be a perfect meeting of the minds."
"Yes but that's the point Matthew." Mary struggled to lift herself out from the encumbering blankets. She leaned against the headboard. "You did it. You signed the papers. You never even asked what I wanted."
"I was going to… " He licked his lips nervously.
"When? I don't even know when you first even considered it. I can understand why you wanted to help out this other family find the house they want. But I would hope you would consider consulting me first."
Matthew nodded miserably. "I thought you'd say no." He sheepishly admitted with no hope of forgiveness.
"So you did it without me?" Mary stared hard at him.
His eyes beetled back and forth as his words spilled from his mouth, "So it would seem. I … kept putting it off. Trying to find a way to talk to you about it. I saw the house when I took a walk in the village after you returned home from hospital. I went into an estate agent's office to make some initial inquiries. But I didn't do much about it because we had so much else going on. I had to go back to London to catch up on work. You were on bedrest. Then the holidays. I thought nothing would happen until first of the year at the earliest but then I received a call on Christmas Eve that the Fox family had found the home of their dreams and the owners were eager to get the papers signed before the new year and because I own a real estate firm I could make it happen."
His words came fast and furious. As if once he started he couldn't stop for fear she would shut him down. "I know it looks bad. I know it looks like I didn't care about what you wanted. But it's not true. I …" He closed his eyes, his mouth dry. "I do care. I care a great deal."
He turned a set of doleful eyes towards his wife. "Please believe me." His words getting hoarse, despairing.
"Oh Matthew…" Mary clasped his face. "How you are going to try me. How can I possibly be angry at you when you look like that? But I am angry." She steadied her own nerve. "We are married. These decisions must be made by the both of us. Otherwise we won't have any chance at trusting each other."
He nodded ferociously. "I know. I know."
"But now it's like I have no say at all. You found the house. Bought it with your own money. Signed your name to it." This time Mary's words were curt. "That's not exactly going to make me love this house, is it?"
"But you will consider it?" Matthew ventured. "It's beautifully situated."
Mary pushed her hand against her brow. "You are really set against living here full time? The stables can't be moved."
"I know they can't." Matthew replied. "But we can. Downton is a lovely house. But it's not mine. It's not ours. I want a home of our own. Where we can raise our children and have our arguments outside the earshot of your father and mother. You'll see. The house is within walking distance to the back gate of Downton. I took the walk around the churchyard myself. If we put a garage out back and buy some kind of four-wheel drive vehicle you can easily get back and forth."
"You've thought of all the answers." Mary huffed. But she had to admit he had a point. "What kind of vehicle? Another purchase without me?" She gave a narrow side eyed look.
"Well uh…" Matthew stumbled. He had actually perused some options regarding a Porsche SUV but didn't cop to it. "We can decide together what's best suited for your needs."
He sat back against the headboard next to her.
"And you said you were going to have to hire more staff anyway. For when the twins come." He reminded her. "And didn't Jerry suggest some kind of in house camera set up so you could monitor the horses from whatever device you wanted. Your laptop or mobile…"
Mary sighed in resignation. "I see why you studied law. You are quite a relentlessly informed advocate of your cause."
Matthew gave her a coy smile. Was he forgiven?
He soon had his answer.
"But you are not off the hook completely." Mary cautioned. "I will see what I think of this house. I won't object if it's as you say. But I do insist that from now on we do things together. We are creating a family Matthew. And that is daunting enough. You going off on your own doing what you want seems like putting yourself before us. Before your family. That's very selfish."
He was about to object, but decided discretion was the better part of valour. "I can see your point. I went about it all very badly." He agreed instead. "But even so, I know once you see the house you'll love it. It does need work. So we won't be moving in any time. It will give you time to make it your own. Redecorate as you see fit." Rather hoping that would cautiously win her over, he left it there.
Mary said nothing, but he did witness the merest hint of a smile dash across her lips and she nodded contemplatively. But then glanced over at the clock on the mantel. "Look at the time! I told Jerry I'd skype to make sure everything is in order. And walk over to the stables."
"In this snow?" Matthew queried fearfully. "You can't."
"Yes I can. I must. I told him I would when I insisted he take the day off. You know that the horses must be attended day and night." Mary grunted and started to make a move off the bed.
She hated to admit it, but she was quite unsteady on her feet. Suddenly Matthew reached out and clutched Mary around her waist before she collapsed back on the bed.
He said forthrightly, "And I know you need to rest some more. I will see to the horses. I know you don't like asking for help. But that's also what I'm here for."
"How will you know what to do?" Mary replied testily. "It's nonsense." She was so frustrated by how this pregnancy affected her. "I hate being this out of control over my body."
"You will tell me what to do. I'll walk across to the stables with my mobile. Once I'm there either you or Jerry when you get him on video chat can tell me what each horse requires. I'll take Sybil with me. Together we can handle it." He gently kissed Mary's forehead and pushed her back onto the bed. "Please rest my darling. I know it's hell."
She heaved a restless sigh. "I can't take much more of this bedrest. At the very least in the new year I want a more regular exercise regime. Even if it's just walking and light yoga. I can't stand being cooped up." She pulled up the covers. "But for now…" She patted the side of the bed where she wanted Matthew to sit beside her. "I'll accept your help. Thank you for doing this for me."
"We're a team." He kissed her full on the mouth.
"Goodie. Then after you're done with the horses, you can bring me up a tray of that delicious Christmas meal I smell wafting in from the kitchen. I do need to keep up my strength."
"I'll bring one up for myself as well." Matthew replied almost too quickly.
"That isn't to get out of having to see my father would it?" Mary tried to tease. But that brought up again the other painful subject. "Has he been seen at all downstairs?"
"No." Matthew shook his head. "Nor your mother. We're all keeping clear for the time being. I think she'll need some time to think."
"A half-brother…" Mary murmured. "And to think we had no idea. That's why you had to be so secretive isn't it? Because Papa told you in confidence."
"He was trying to explain the misappropriated funds. I told him then he should tell the family. He didn't want to hear it and threw me out of the house." Matthew disclosed.
"And that's when you found me outside. Waiting by your car." Mary remembered that evening well. "You drove off without a word. I thought that was the end of us."
Matthew directed his gaze lovingly at his wife. "And instead it was just the beginning. I knew then I couldn't live without you. I wanted to tell you…"
"I understand why you didn't." Mary reached out and pulled him in for another kiss. "I was wrong to say that about you being selfish. You were thinking of the family when you kept Papa's secrets. You were thinking of my mother and my sisters. He waited too long to tell us. But now it's all in the open, I hope we can somehow find a way if not to entirely forgive, but to at least move on. Get to know …" Mary blinked as she tried to remember the child's name. "…Peter." But she gave another heavy sigh. "I have no idea what Mama will do."
She shivered suddenly frightened by the prospect of her parents divorcing.
Matthew gathered her in his arms. "We can't predict what will happen. Cora is strong. She'll find a way through."
Mary buried her head in her husband's warmth. "I hope so…"
XX
Ok Ok...I know she might have let him off the hook more easily than perhaps she should. But it's Christmas lol... and he did have good intentions. Reviews are great!
I didn't want to go more than two weeks without updating… I had a great deal of grading to do and uh… I've gotten (erm..) rather distracted by Dan's new TV show Legion on FX lol… but I'm getting back in the swing of this story! Lots more to come. Cora's decisions. Meeting Peter. Mary coping with the birth of multiples… and moving!