Matthew looked around the crowded Assembly room. The awards ceremony had just ended and the after party had begun. Mary's old coach for Team Britain was retiring and all his students gathered to pay him tribute at this sports night dinner. Other awards that night were for various athletic achievements in football, rugby, and other Olympic level sports.

Matthew had lost track of Mary since she was up on stage with her former teammates. She left with them to do some interviews and photographs. She had worn a designer gown meant to flatter her growing belly with ruched sides and crisscross straps at the V neckline. It still showed off her long legs as it was hemmed at her knees. She conceded to wearing a low-heeled shoe as her center of gravity was a bit wobbly at times as she was carrying the twin boys quite low in the abdomen. Matthew told her she looked gorgeous when she modeled it for him the night before in his London flat. They had driven down from Downton for the occasion but were planning to return within a day or two.

Mary had been more than pleased to find the gown. She had fretted about appearing in public not looking her best.

"Not just your best." Matthew had reassured, "Fabulous. I might have to put this one in the book tonight."

Mary gave him a soft smile. Matthew's sketching project of the stages of her pregnancy had been another way to bind them as a couple. His eyes drew her in, steadfast and warm. They would meet as he moved up and down between herself and the sketchpad. Even when he was concentrating hard, demanding she remain still as a statue, she felt joined to the activity. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought she could have found such profound happiness in something not actually of her own creation. Except she was. Not muse or model, but a part of him. As he was a part of her. And the twins within a part of them.

A warm tingling glow flooded her body at such moments. A feeling of such abandoned love it scared her. She trusted Matthew implicitly. Even when she was angry that trust, that love never wavered. He would always be there for her.

How did she know this? When they knew each other less than a year. How did she know? When he went and bought a house without even consulting her. He was richer than she'd ever be. But he never offered to buy Downton to save her father's disgrace. Shouldn't that tell her something? That he put himself above her family?

She should be righteously angry. Instead she compromised. Was pregnancy making her soft? She grunted in repugnance at that outdated notion.

No that was not it. She was still opinionated. Headstrong. Stubborn. She demanded he explain himself in the house purchase. And he did. That was it. His honesty. She never imagined that honesty would be a turn on. But it was. She wanted him all the more after that argument. Had waited impatiently for him to return, all sweaty and smelly from the stables. His offer to help out with the horses only making him that much more irresistible.

She virtually pounced on him when they entered the shower. The love making that ensued was intense. Mind blowing. They were two bodies moving as one.

She was not wrong to love him so much.

Matthew did not put himself above her family. He would help them find their way out of their current mess as best he could. As he told her later that same night, "giving Robert the power to decide his own future was the best way forward. Otherwise he'll still feel aggrieved and weak which was the cause of his ruin in the first place."

Mary had agreed but still wanted to know "why haven't you revisited the offer to just buy Downton." Matthew had tensed slightly, his jaw set. "I don't want to cause offense in your family," he started diplomatically, "but I didn't get where I am by making bad money choices." Despite Mary's eyes narrowing, he continued evenly, "these houses are nothing more than prestige properties with endless upkeep and no profitability margin at all."

"Then why keep it?" Mary pointed out a bit sarcastically. "You are going to recommend Papa keep Downton and sell Grantham right? Why not the other way round if Downton is such a bottomless pit of death."

Matthew guffawed a bit embarrassed. "I might have put it badly, but the importance lies not in its value as property, but in its value to the family. It's important to Robert. To you. Your business. This is what makes Downton worth saving. I want to help and I think the best solution is to sell Grantham to do that. Concentrate all investments here. In Downton Stables. In making the farms profitable. In the use of the house as a venue …"

And here Mary looked at him askance. "Papa has always hated that."

"But it's the future. You have to make these houses earn their keep." Matthew concluded. "It's really the only way it will work. Besides it will give your father a new purpose which I think he needs right now."

Mary had seen the truth of that. And when Robert had come back from that meeting with Matthew a fortnight later, she had supported the idea of selling Grantham as soon as possible.

She had been surprised at Matthew's suggestion of a buyer though. Swire? She thought she was done hearing that name. And now he was being dragged back in. To his other life.

What would that mean for them?

Was she being silly for even thinking it would? She had finished dressing for the Sports Personality of the Year awards banquet, putting on the earrings he had purchased in Las Vegas as a wedding present. She had not mentioned her qualms.

There was nothing to worry about. He sat watching her with quiet regard having finished dressing in his dark blue suit and silk tie. When she was done they left for the banquet.

After the ceremony was done, Mary exited with the rest of her team mates to conduct some interviews. Matthew had stayed at their table, chatting amiably with a cricketeer from the England and Wales Cricket Board.

She turned a corner trying to get back out to the floor of the Assembly room hall when she saw Henry. It had been a distinct possibility running into her former boyfriend at this awards banquet. He and Mary did mix in the same sports circles. Groaning inwardly she tried to dodge him, but other people blocked her path and she was stuck.

She had a clutch bag in one hand which she gripped tightly as she turned back. And had a moment of triumph as she realized she clearly caught him off guard as she approached.

"Henry." She said with complete composure. "Are you presenting tonight?"

He did a double take as he took in her hair and dress. His jaw dropped appreciatively. Mary had fixed her hair in a coiffure with a few loose curly strands around her ears. The black material of her dress stretched in all the right places. Many that night didn't even take in she was pregnant much to Mary's surprise. She thought it must be the dimness of the lights in the hall giving them a false impression.

But then Henry answered. "In about fifteen minutes." He ran his eyes up and down her body. "You could wait for me to grab a bite. Like old times."

"I hardly think so…" Mary's sarcasm was unmistakable. "Even when we did attend these functions, you usually ended up drunk with your Rugby hooligan friends and I had to drive you all home."

What had she seen in this preening waste of time?

But clearly Henry seemed to know nothing about her current life which both pleased and disquieted her. What had he concocted in his little mind about her life now?

Henry gave a short guffaw. "Oh you know you enjoyed it. I've been thinking about you these past few months." He slicked his hand back across his hairline. "Have you come to your senses now? About that married piss ant you hooked up with for a time? He's gone I'll bet. Damp squids always do once they've gotten what they wanted."

"What they wanted?" Mary's voice dripped with disdain.

"Not that I'm blaming you of course. But you really should have known those types are never going to leave their wives. They just move on to another easier target and leave you sadder but hopefully a bit wiser." He gave her a pitying look. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Mary blinked hard at such blinding arrogance. Such conceit. Her response was both immediate and caustically belittling. "Why? You're mansplained my situation so well I hardly need say anything. How could I have believed I could ever live without you?"

She said with an ice queen smile and a look that killed. "But you're wrong about one thing…" She paused almost for effect.

"What's that?" His voice turning even more insulting if possible.

But Mary was deliciously spared any explanation by the man himself approaching, fortunately completely oblivious to the insulting conversation Mary had to endure. Henry had tucked them into a corner so he was hidden from view.

"Mary darling… " Matthew said, approaching her with another man in tow. "This is Jerome Cauldwell. His daughter is a rider and is looking for a new coach." His smile was infectious. He took Mary's hand.

Henry stepped around the corner, curious to see who spoke to Mary in such intimate terms.

"Jerome." Matthew turned to the older man. "This is my wife, Lady Mary Crawley." He twisted his head back towards Mary only to see Henry's beet red face before him.

"Henry…" If Matthew was taken aback, he refused to show it. His grip on Mary's hand got tighter though. To think she had to endure this encounter without him made him that much more protective.

"You…You…" Henry spluttered. "You're married?!" He spun on Mary, his eyes now blazing mad in embarrassment. "Why didn't you say?"

She allowed him one arched eyebrow. And then deliberately put her left hand across her abdomen so that the bump showed.

Henry's eyes threatened to practically bug out of their sockets.

"What? And spoil your moment of hollow triumph? Never." Mary gave a short laugh and then a dismissive pout with her mouth, "but now I really do have to move on. Can't spare another moment to revisit the past. I have far too much in my future to look forward to…"

And she twisted her body away from Henry and towards her husband and placed her arm within his. Matthew, standing in awed respect for his wife's cool composure, took her cue and continued his train of thought without saying anything further to Henry who stood gawped mouth and about to retreat with his tail between his legs.

"Mary is a brilliant trainer and coach, Jerome." Matthew declared passionately, "I'm sure Ella will thrive under her tutelage."

They walked with Cauldwell towards the main Assembly room, neither Mary nor Matthew giving any backward glance.

XX

"That was most enjoyable." Mary admitted later when they had returned to Matthew's flat. She was seated on the bed, slipping off her shoes.

Matthew's mouth curved up in a wicked smile. "You're…you're married…" He gave a spot-on imitation of Henry's incredulously sniffy aggrieved tone. "I mean really," Matthew continued with scorn, "It was all I could do not to whisper in his ear 'yes you fucking moron. You lost. Now get out of our sight.'"

"I don't know what I ever saw in him." Mary shook her head.

"All in the past my darling." Matthew kissed her with passion.

Mary nodded reflectively. "But we can't escape the past can we?"

"Darling?" Matthew asked, his eyes narrowing in concern.

"Your plan to help Papa." Mary said. "It will draw you back into Swire Inc. I've never asked but have you been in contact with Lavinia?"

She tried to sound like she didn't care. But irrationally, a part of her did.

Matthew paused before answering. His past was different than hers. He had been married. Taken vows. Pledged loyalty and fidelity. He and Lavinia had a life together. Good times if he was honest. But it was the past.

"I have." He finally acknowledged. Matthew sat down on the bed beside his wife. "Mostly because of the divorce settlement. I sold the house and had to meet with her lawyers to arrange for the check to be passed over to her. We've spoken a few times when the time difference between here and Australia permits."

He took Mary's hand. "She asked how I was faring and I told her. I told her I was married to you and we were expecting twin sons in the summer."

Mary eyed him. "And her reaction?"

"She didn't let on to me if she was upset." He shrugged. "She seems happy in Perth. Busy with her new teaching responsibilities."

"And you?" Mary asked, her head angling towards him. "No ghosts I should worry about?"

"None at all." He reassured in that resonant, dark tone he kept strictly for Mary. "I hope you know that."

Mary smiled. "I do." She shook her head ruefully, "Just ugly shadows this evening have soured my mood."

Matthew reached over and gave her a deep, passionate kiss. "I have a way to change that…" and he reached for the zipper of her dress as his lips grazed her naked shoulder blades.

"Please do…" and she arched her back, gasping as his hands slipped inside to caress and stroke each of her breasts in turn.

XX

Matthew took the proffered whisky. He was alone with Robert, late night at Downton a few weeks following the awards dinner. Mary had gone upstairs to bed, tired after a long day interviewing for the new trainer who would take up her slack when the twins arrived.

Cora had left for America. Matthew had been informed about it after a long telephone conversation with Mary ended a fortnight before. She had to think. Think of her future. Cora had left, Mary told Matthew. To her family in Connecticut to consider what she should do.

And Robert was alone at Downton with only Mary for company most evenings. Matthew was overseeing the renovations at Crawley House and traveling back and forth between York and London. He was also finding new office space in Ripon for his consulting branch of CB Properties.

Mary was concerned about her father. He was despondent. Could Matthew do something?

So here he was. Trying to think of way to help.

"Thank you, Robert." He sat back and took a sip. Nothing conversational was coming though. So he fell back on the reliable topic of business. "We're to begin negotiations with Chapman next week. You'll be able to make the time?"

Stupid question, Matthew thought. Robert seemed to be doing nothing at the moment but moping.

"Yes. I want to get this over and done." Robert answered, taking the seat opposite with a heavy sigh. "I've no wish to continue. I don't know where my place is anymore in this world."

"Good. Good…" Matthew nodded, then fell into silence again. Took another swig of his whisky.

The night deepened.

Finally Robert spoke. "How do you come back from the mistakes one makes? How do you atone to the ones you love?"

Matthew's eyes shifted rapidly back and forth. Was he supposed to answer that? Did he atone properly to Lavinia?

"You divorced your wife before?" Robert inquired. He noticed Matthew shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I don't mean to pry, but you are the only one who I can speak to of all this."

Matthew thrummed the cushion of the seat rail nervously. "Right. Ummm… I confessed my love for Mary to …" His mouth was dry, but he continued "to Lavinia. We began divorce proceedings immediately thereafter."

Robert gave a heavy sigh. "That's the difference."

"What is?" Matthew had an inkling where his father in law's thoughts were headed but he wanted to hear it from him.

"You fell in love."

"Yes." Matthew affirmed. "It became impossible to deny. And I didn't want to hurt my wife any more than I had to. It wasn't easy, but we've all gotten through it."

"I wasn't you see." Robert confessed. "I imagined myself in love with Jane and she with me. But it was all just my vanity. Cora and I were in a doldrum, I sought comfort elsewhere. Jane ..." Robert shook his head. "She had just been divorced and was in a low point as well. Just lasted a few weeks. I didn't even know she was pregnant until after Peter's birth. By that time Cora and I had reconciled. I thought she suspected something, but she never said."

Matthew sunk low in the seat, wishing he was anywhere else. Dredging up his own miserable state upon owning up to his own indiscretions. But at least he knew, however fatuous or self-congratulatory it sounded, he knew he had been honest with himself, with Lavinia, and with Mary.

Robert had not. Not even with himself.

"I had no intention of leaving Cora. I... didn't think at all." Robert took a swallow of the water. No alcohol on his restricted diet.

"I don't know what to do." Robert concluded. "Cora's left for an extended stay in the states with her mother. She won't speak to me except for necessity."

"When do you expect her back?" Matthew was stalling for time.

"She's not said. Certainly before Mary's due date. That she would never miss." Robert put the glass down and began to pace around the room.

"No. Mary said much the same." Matthew concurred.

The two men sat again in silence.

Matthew knew Robert needed something to do. To feel useful again. "You never took me on that tour of Downton. The snow back in December prevented it. Why don't we do it tomorrow? I really would like to know how the farm works and see the rest of the estate. You can fill me in on the details of what renovations have been complete and which still need to be done. Then once the sale of the business is finalized, you can begin making those decisions."

Robert's doleful eyes lit up just a bit at that suggestion. "I'd like that."

Matthew smiled briefly, encouraged that he could also feel useful to the family.

"I don't know that I deserve your friendship Matthew." Robert said, walking over to his son in law. "After the things I said to you. But I'm grateful for any help you can give me."

He sat down opposite. "Ever since telling everyone at Christmas I've felt an odd sense of relief. That even in spite of the pain, the distress I've cause. At least it's now behind me. I want my marriage to survive. I want our family to survive. I'm made a wreck of things." His voice was getting hoarse from the emotional turmoil welling inside. "Thank you for listening."

Matthew nodded in understanding.

Later, after bidding Robert good night he went upstairs to find Mary fast asleep, the covers tucked under her chin.

He slipped off his clothes and got in beside her. As soon as she felt his presence, still half asleep, Mary inched her way over to his body. They curled together, his arm draped across her abdomen.

He felt her warmth. Her love. He closed he eyes, and fell asleep as well.

XX

Reviews and observations are lovely. Crawley House awaits in the next chapter!